Does your little one share things willingly? Or does sharing evoke a meltdown within minutes? Do you catch yourself saying, "Sharing is caring" on repeat to no effect?
While sharing might be a sign of caring for adults, this isn't quite the case for babies and young children. From a developmental perspective, a child's Theory of Mind (ToM) has not yet developed. Theory of Mind encompasses the ability of an individual to understand that other individual's have inner emotional states different from one's own. In the context of sharing, not only is it important to be aware that other children have different perspectives and feelings, they also have to care about those perspectives and feelings. This requires ToM, which does not typically develop until ages 4-5 years old.
Until that age, sharing can actually be an aversive and threatening situation for young children. The "sharing is caring" mantra can also be very confusing for young children who are receiving mixed messages - one message being the adult trying to prompt the one year old to share and the other message being from the one year old who is having a tantrum over the situation.
It could actually be more appropriate to teach the child who does not want to share an appropriate refusal response, such as, "No thank you," or something in their repertoire. Subsequently, it would be important to teach the other child in this scenario appropriate choice making skills and prompt him/her to tolerate the denied access to the item and choose between other fun activities/toys.
When it comes to developmental preparedness, there is no point pushing against a closed door. In the context of sharing, this door typically opens between ages 4-5 years old.
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ZakharValaha from Pixabay