Today, we have the pleasure of speaking to John O'Leary, who stunned everyone with his miraculous recovery after an accident left him with burns over 100% of his body. Hear him talk about how he became a #1 New York Times Bestselling Author by living his life inspired everyday, something especially important now in the time of the Coronavirus.
Make sure you check him out at http://johnolearyinspires.com and follow us at stellaoakmavens on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook!
Today, we have the pleasure of speaking to John O'Leary, who stunned everyone with his miraculous recovery after an accident left him with burns over 100% of his body. Hear him talk about how he became a #1 New York Times Bestselling Author by living his life inspired everyday, something especially important now in the time of the Coronavirus.
Make sure you check him out at http://johnolearyinspires.com and follow us at stellaoakmavens on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook!
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brought
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to you
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by Stella Oak Financial or clients work in retirement because they choose to, not because they have to please visit our website at Stella oak dot n dot com. Good morning, everyone, This is Brandon MattLof in Los Angeles. Welcome to the Stella Oak Mavens podcast, where we feature different mavens in different fields. A maven is an expert oven expert there, the go to person who you would want to ask all the questions to before making a decision. The purpose of our podcast is to help the consumer be more knowledgeable. Today on the podcast, we have the pleasure. Speaking to a true inspiration after an explosion left him with burns over 100% of his body and 1% chance of survival, let me just say that again. 1% chance of survival. John O'Leary shocked everyone with his miraculous recovery. Now a number one best selling author of his book on Fire. Seven Choices to ignite a radically inspired life as well as a host of the top rated, live inspired podcast, he travels the nation teaching over 50,000 people, had a live life, inspired his second book in awe, rediscover your child like wonder toe Unleash inspiration, meaning and joy will be published by Penguin Random House in May. This coming May. So let's look for that. Welcome, John.
spk_1: 1:35
What an honor. Brandon so you and I met about a year ago, and I'm thrilled that this is finally working out for us.
spk_0: 1:41
Well, you know, when I met you, the thing that really stood out to me the most is that you practice what you preach. You are an inspiration. You're promoting that within your business. But then that's also who you've been and developed as even from when you were young kid. I don't want to go back in history to when you were young, kid, But what? What I really would like is to start off and tell me about your days between 18 and 22. I want to hear what was John like if I interviewed him when you were 18 years old, What would you What? What were you like as an 18 year old?
spk_1: 2:19
Awesome. So let me give your audience book ends so they can see the cover of the book and then the back of the book. And then I'll get to your question real shortly so that on the front side of the cover, nine years old, burned on 100% of his body, loses his fingers. Five months in hospital, years of recovery. So that's the prequel. And then today I'm married. A beautiful lady, just great hearts. Cool lady, named about that matter in college. Four kids, great business, Healthy great life. So those are the book covers, right? But in the middle 18 to 22 which you should know about me is I had almost zero self confidence. What you should know is that although I acted as if I had everything put together, I had a lot of self doubt about who I was and about what my future might hold. I had no certainty at all what really mattered what I wanted to do when I grew up, how I was gonna make a living and who I might actually do life with long term and so to kind of take it to make it. I probably partied harder than anybody else. I probably drink more than anybody else. I probably acted better, well suited and put together than anybody else, but it was just this big mask. So I was trying to tell the world how awesome and normal I was. When the reality is, I felt as if none of those things were true for me, so that that that's the reality of my life. At age 18 and 22 it's very different today. That's very different from age nine, but those were hard years for me. They were fun years, but they were very hard years.
spk_0: 3:49
Self confidence is something that I think a lot of 18 to 22 year old struggle with, and there there's got to be a part of them that wonders if they're ever going to come out of their shell. In that scenario, was there something that happened specifically that you could identify that helped you transform? Or was it practice in work ethic? And ultimately you learned a craft like How did you come out in being the confident John that you are today?
spk_1: 4:19
So it's a little bit you kind of asked an either or it's kind of a yes and, and part of it is just putting your left foot in front of your right. It's amazing what moment movement will do to you, mo mentum is a very hard thing to stop. So continuing to progress forward in your life, not giving up on your dreams, not giving up on yourself and not giving up a calling to be even more tomorrow than you are today. That that's part of it. The other pieces. I was faking it for a long time. So after actually in the midst of college, I wanted to become a business owner. And so I bought this old beat up building downtown in ST Louis, Missouri. I've never even painted it, painted my own bedroom, let alone fixed up an old dilapidated building. Bought this thing and with hands that are missing fingers. I began fixing this thing up, and it took way longer cost way more. I made me far less money, but it was the first project as an entrepreneur, and it may be just enough to do it again and do it again and do it again. Until about the age of 28. When my mom and dad wrote a book about their experience raising me, they printed 100 copies. They've sold out 20. I'm sorry. Sold out 85,000 and one of the copies was sold to me. And so I got to read about my story. It changed my life, realising that it wasn't always bad, it might have actually had been used for good, and I've never seen it through that lens. And then what really, really changed my life is a group of three girls Scouts asked if I would share my story for their troops. So this guy who's working construction servant is a general contractor business owner never told anybody how he was Burns. Thing goes into this little schoolhouse, tells three Girl Scouts how he was burned, and one of them says, Mr Leary, my dad runs a smoke. This is what you would you shared for him. So I did. And then that guy actually was a Rotarian. He asked if I would share for the Rotary Club, so I did so that first year I shared a grand total of three times. No payment next year, eight times no payment. But eventually this thing became a business so fueled by passion and then that in the last 15 years I've shared in all 50 states and a couple dozen countries in front of a couple 1,000,000 people. This story that at age 28 I could not even tell myself let alone anybody else. And so it's been a radical transformation. But ultimately it's saying yes to the next best.
spk_0: 6:36
So I want to do this because I think we can actually help the whole group of people right now. And so what I want to dio is try to focus on the people that are lacking that self confidence from 18 to 22. And what I just heard you say is that you were able to share your story. And that is how, um, you slowly started to develop this confidence about yourself. So what I want to dio is really encourage those listening, and it doesn't necessarily even have to be for an 18 to 22 year old. It could be somebody's younger could be somebody who's 65. But improving self confidence is a lot about sharing your story, and it's probably didn't happen the first time. And even though those three girl Scouts I asked you to share, it probably wasn't the first time that you you share that story, you're like, Oh, I'm self confidence now, but that was probably a boost. And then you realize sharing your story was impactful. So do you think people who are I never even thought about this? So this is an ah ha moment for me as well. You think people need to share their story over and over again, and that will help build self confidence? What's your opinion on that?
spk_1: 7:48
That's so cool. It's again kind of a yes. And so, yes, you need to share your story. But the mistake I think we make is to think that we need to share a story and monetize it, that we need to get followers we need to get likes. We need to sell books. We need to create a brand around how great we are. The reality is, none of that's true at all. The most important brand you can be you can actually grow, is understanding who you are, how you show up, what matters to you, and that's someone else's opinion cannot bring you down or raise you up that you are far more than that. The biologically speaking to pull back a little bit, the likelihood of you being here there was a cool study done on this. Your mother? Your father coming together right on time. People's to take notes at home. Less than one and 400 trillion. So the very likely would have you bean in this room list. Sense of this podcast today is less than one in 400 trillion. Meaning your life is nothing short of a divine, wild, freaking miracle you're here. That alone ought to be enough to give you quite a bit of confidence. So just get the math around, How cool it is that you're alive. Don't take it for granted. I find we as adults that starts at 18. But it continues on until until the next stage of life. We frequently take our lives for granite. And when I beg you to do whether you are in college or you are a young entrepreneur, your listeners of this podcast you're not even sure how you got about how you bumped into it is to recognize how profoundly important life is. Start there, then, recognizing the stories that have formed you. Ah, while you show more fully in the stories of those around you so you don't tell your story to benefit you. You actually tell us that you're gonna understand how best to show up in any setting. Whether you're on a podcast, you in the front of a board room, you're in the back of a classroom or you're at a bar with a buddy on a weekend. You actually understand who you are, and now you're no longer defined by anybody else's reaction to you. So it's really healthy not to write your story, to sell it, but to write your story, to know it.
spk_0: 9:44
I love that to write your story, to know it. I think that that is just so key. Earlier you just mentioned you know about mistakes and things that you know potentially people have along the way. And maybe one of them is, you know, caring too much about how many likes you have. But if I can shift back to maybe some of your own mistakes, I always think it humbles people in to realize that the people we have on the podcast, even though extraordinarily successful with their selling and their books and how many people are actually following them. What is important to know is that your life hasn't been perfect, and you've made tons of mistakes along the way. So maybe you could share one or two mistakes that Dad you think you've made in the past. And let's see if we can't help others learn from them.
spk_1: 10:35
So I think probably is a young business honor. First of all, if you're wondering what mistakes have made, we could bring my wife on and you quickly sandbag around me and tell you all kinds of things I did this morning.
spk_0: 10:47
We could get our way, we could get our spouses together and they they they would have a lot of fun with that one.
spk_1: 10:53
And I know you have a bit of a younger audience. Which man? How cool toe have people whose entire life remain in front of them. So let me share a couple things. One thing I did is in college, So for those of you from 18 at whatever your age is, that might be in college in one way or another, I took those years wildly for granted, and I did just enough to get by, which is a profound mistake to do just enough to get by, C's get degrees. I used to say that to my friends, and I thought I was really clever and cool what it would how dumb, man to not soak up experts who have incredible things to share with you, whether it's around philosophy, science, finance, whatever it is you're studying, soak up what it is someone has to teach you. Ask them questions. Go to your teachers, ask your friends, Really use this period of time to l earn to become a far better person of yourself. That's one mistake I did is I took those four years of college and I did just enough. What a mistake. Second thing, I was always choosing to trace someone else's version of success. It was never really identified around what I wanted. It was always what I thought might make me fit in in the eyes of those around me for a long time. And then I had a conversation when I was 27 or so with the guy who was dying in a hospital bed, and he said, John, if you'd spoken to be years ago, you would have seen a man on top of the world. I started and grew and built a successful business and yet in the pursuit of all these things I thought I wanted. I lost the relationship with my wife. I've lost the relationship with my three daughters because of the pursuit of success. Almost drove me crazy. I started drinking and smoking. I've lost my health Now I've lost everything. And he looked out the window that he looked back at me and he said, I'll never forget these words. By the way, he said, John, I've climbed to the very tippy top of the ladder of success Onley to realize at the top that I had the thing leaned against the wrong damn wall. Brother, I'll never forget those words. I've got to the tippy top of the ladder of success only to realize I had the thing leaned against the wrong damned wall, and it was like agony as you share. These words about his relationships were gone. His friends were gone, his money was gone, it was all gone. And there's no redoing in life. And so one of the cool things that we can do at age 18 at age 22 for you on young entrepreneurs in the room is to really be mindful during periods of change on what success looks like for you. What really matters. I believe the foundation of your life is firm, like the society itself. This is going nowhere. So the foundation is firm. But you want to make sure that your movement in the direction of your version of success not your parents, not your friends, not society, not Instagram or anybody else. Take talks. Don't do what people think is gonna be is cool. Do what you know in your heart is gonna make a difference to your life.
spk_0: 13:35
I love that there's a lot of really good information in there. What I'm hearing is that you just need to soak up, learn and listen at a young age, I guess the biggest question that I would have thinking back and I can think back toe things that I did till we probably would have had a lot of fun together in school. Back
spk_1: 13:56
safe and let's let's reconnect.
spk_0: 13:59
Can't can't wait. I'm wondering, How do you start? Let's say you've been parting. You hear this podcast me of an epiphany of like Oh my gosh, John, you're totally right. This is an opportunity for me to use that time wisely. How do you start?
spk_1: 14:15
Great question one is You could look backward at your life. And so what I would do if I was really coaching you up right now. I would actually have you, right? Ah, legacy statement. I would have you define your life. You die today, listeners. What does your obituary say? What have you done? What did you fail at? What does your mother say about you? What do your buddies say? What about your fraternity brothers? What about your ladies? Your room? With what about your boyfriends? What about your colleagues at work? What are people saying about you? What? What really signified your life? That's exercise one. And the 2nd 1 is this. Now shut your eyes. What do you want them to say? What impact do you want to make? Where do you wish you are working? What do you want to be doing and then go after that with everything you got? And so you will see at every level. I don't care how well put together you are. There will be a gap between the way life is now. Honestly and the way you wish it might be. And then every single moment of your life ought to be invested and building that second statement and live in it, becoming the kind of man that kind, elated, the kind of leader, the kind of entrepreneur, the kind of students, the kind of daughter or son that you know you can be. And for too long we've been making excuses. We've been busy, we've been studying, we've been working out, we've been sleeping and we've been doing all these things that are keeping us away from really doing what we know in our heart we should be doing next. And so I think that could be a cool gap that develops between where we are, where we want to go. And now you can spend some effort feeling that that's a cool way to build a bit of a strategy around where you want to go next.
spk_0: 15:42
That's something that I don't even think I've done. I've heard people talk about that, but I just wrote that down and underlined and circled in my in my notes of just 22 dues or follow ups, which I do every time I learn something from a new people person on the interviewing. So the two things I wrote down that you know might help if someone's taking notes is what would people say about you and what do you want them to say about you? And so I think, being able to answer those questions in clarity just man, that hits the spot right. And that actually leads a perfect Segway in Do what I really want to talk about, which is what's going on in today's environment with the Cove in 19 Pandemic. And essentially, I'm looking at you with someone who can inspire people to look at this as an opportunity. I mean, not everybody can do it in the same way. But I'm looking at you to help us inspire people that can look at this about as an opportunity. There's a lot of uncertain times right now. People have extreme challenges to both their physical and mental health, and how does your message apply to those people?
spk_1: 16:55
So I'm gonna answer your question. Hopefully, in a moment on September 17th 2000 and one, I had lunch with my grandfather. This was six days after 9 11 It's the first day that the markets, reopens stock markets in New York. And as we went through lunch, he shared with me that he just bought a lot of Boeing stock and a lot of American airlines and every single person with any amount of wise investment savvy. You're one of em that would know, after 9 11 the very first thing to be crushed would be those manufacturing plants in those flight. So me being really smart and financing Grandpa, why why would you do this? What a mistake. That was the dumbest thing Grandpa, and he says to me, John, do you know what they call us? The Greatest Generation and Iwas? And I said, I know I don't know why they called you the greatest generation. He said, John, it's not because we went through the Great Depression. I think everybody would have tried to get through bad days. So it's not because we weather the Great Depression. It's not because we went off to fight in Europe and the Pacific Theater during World War Two. I think when a nation is at war, people raise their hand and they go. It's not because we were the most productive society in history. The world when we return home. That's not why we were the greatest generation. And then he paused. And then he said, The reason we were the greatest generation and remained the greatest generation is because we never forgot the lessons learned along the way. That's a big deal right there. They winter depression, they went off toward. They built society and they never, ever forget the lessons they were taught and trained along the way, they both through the high points and low points. That's why on September 17th he was buying stock in Boeing in American Airlines because he believed that even though the storm would come, the best days of those organizations remain in front of them. He wanted to make sure that they knew there was somebody out there that believed that he wanted to buys. The thing was about to fall. That's the kind of citizen that's kind of investor, that's kind of man, my grandfather waas. So you said John Kobe, 19. It's a disaster killed our markets, crush unemployment. For those of us graduating. Now we're not even gonna be able to graduate with the classes of crushing. It is crushing these air very difficult days for so many. And yet I am absolutely confident that there are lessons being trained and top right now. If our eyes, hearts and minds are open to them, that will make this experience that kind of thing. That will change not only our life, but society long term. So if we're able to utilize this moment in time this very dark, painful moment in time to redeem the future, to make it better, to start a new business to recognize what actually matters just flowed on to it to save her family. You and I were talking about that offline. Yeah, What a gift. And so I believe the next Greatest Generation is listening to this podcast right now. And I just encourage you don't waste away these days. Don't wish them away learning the lessons from within them and be made better because of them.
spk_0: 19:40
That gives almost a full circle to where we started in about self confidence. And if you can hear that right there and take it into the principle of your life, man, you'll be inspired. Well, so you know, before we wrap up, John, I wanted you to have a moment to talk about your book. And then how can people, like, follow up and learn more? Because I'm I'm just feeling that I'm gonna have a sense of a lot of listeners saying I want more John. How can happen. They hear more, hear more about what you're all about and, uh, give us Ah, snip bed on your on your book.
spk_1: 20:16
Awesome. So, first of all, thank you. How could they learn more about me? Go to read in on dot com. That's where we have all over social links. That's where you can learn about the work that we're doing today. And the really the reason that I'm driving you their listeners is because at the very top of the page is a 21 day challenge. So go to read in ah dot com type in your email address. Let me send you an email tomorrow morning and the following morning and the following morning to remind you that you are not alone. There is reason for hope. There's a clear next step, and there's an action you could take in your life. We've had thousands of folks who have already gone through this. There's no charge to it. So it's a really cool way to stay engaged in to stay connected. So I'll say one more time in case you're driving or whatever. But you could go to read in awe dot com, and I'll be there smiling, waving at you and inviting you into our communities. That's that's a cool way. Weaken do life together. We've also got a podcast called Live Inspired, and I just interviewed people that I respect to look up to great astronauts and authors and leaders and overcome ER's and teachers people that we can just learn from. So if you listen, a lot of podcasts check out ours that live inspired with John O. Leary and you asked about the book in Off. I wrote the book in all because I saw people in business and people who were in school as they progress through life become bored by it. They cross their arms, they smile less frequently a dress they dream less boldly. They just kind of endure life. It drives me crazy, and then I come home from these big meetings where I would speak and I would see these kids who are freaking on fire with their lives that they have smiles on their face. They skip, they don't even walk. They skip from room to room. They dance when nobody's looking. They go outside and they play in the rain. They're crazy, but they soak up the very fiber that is life. And I wondered, How do we How did we lose that? How do we return to that? And if we did return to of what might be possible Well, how could we build bigger businesses? How could we touch more lives? How could we have better relationships with our loved ones? How could we change things that are broken right now for the better as the book in awe is an invitation for you to return to who you once were. And in doing so, it will change not only how you show up today, but the life that you're gonna live tomorrow. So again, I can't encourage you strongly enough to go to read in on dot com. You can sign up for the 21 day challenge, but you can also pick up a copy of the book and I believe it's gonna change your life for the better.
spk_0: 22:41
Awesome. Well, Thank you, John. Appreciate your time today. I'm sure everyone's gonna check that link out. And your podcast? This has been a stele. Oak mavens podcast. We inspire you the listener, to take control of your life. Thank you for listening to the Stella Oak Mavens podcast. We hope to see you next week and make sure to stay inside and stay safe.