[0:22] Hello, everyone. I'm Jonathan. I'm Crystal. And this is Haunt Weekly, a weekly podcast for the haunted attraction and haunted entertainment community. Whether you're an actor or not, just plain aficionado, we aim to be a podcast for you, but maybe not so much for the plain aficionados this week. Because we're discussing secrets, peeking behind the curtain of haunted attractions to say the things that we don't tell our customers and our visitors. If that sounds Sounds fun and entertaining, I think it is going to be. Please stick around. But if you want more Haunt Weekly, check out all the places we exist. We're at hauntweekly.com, hauntweekly on Twitter. I mean, X, I mean, whatever the hell it's called this week. Haunt Weekly on Facebook, youtube.com slash hauntweekly's YouTube channel. Great way to get caught up on previous episodes. You can also find us wherever your podcasts are from, including Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, whatever. I don't know, man. We're everywhere. And that's the way we like it. Uh-huh. Well, on that note, everyone, let's see. We don't have any housekeeping this week. I don't seem to have any of that. But we do have work we did for our haunt. A little bit. Which was, okay, it's kind of amusing how this particular work came about. Because we are in the process of trying to install a handrail on our front steps. For reasons unclear before man and God, our house has a slight walk-up to it. Not much of one. Three steps. Two, three steps. Two. Two steps.

[1:50] So it's two or three, depending on how you count them, honestly. Yeah. But when they built it, they never included a handrail, which is technically against code. Right. But it hasn't been a huge issue for us. We lived in the house for a damn near 20 years. Actually, no, just damn near 20 years. Yeah. Never been an issue. But we're all getting a little bit older here. And a handrail probably isn't a bad idea for each and every one of us. And unfortunately, the process of installing a handrail has not gone to plan. No, because, so we've drilled into concrete before. Yeah, we do concrete screwing damn near every year for the haunted house. Exactly. We're coming back to that. And it's out in the garage, and it's a thin layer of concrete, and then you hit dirt. Yeah, two inches of concrete, basically. It's not much of a foundation, admittedly. Yeah, the front steps, though, are cement. And they are full cement. They are not hollow inside, which is good because that means we can drill into them without cracking them. Well, the first problem we had, and we kind of skipped one, was getting a handrail that would fit. Yeah. Because the first one we got was the correct length, but could not handle the steepness of the steps. Right. It was limited to the angle it could take, and it couldn't take an angle that was as deep as our steps are. Because they are fairly deep steps, I have to admit.

[3:17] So we thought about it, looked around, and then we bought, because they were having a kick-ass sale, we couldn't decide if we wanted a longer handrail or a short one, so we figured we'd just buy both. Yeah, because after the first debacle, I didn't want to go through that again without having a handrail. Yeah, so you bought two sets of handrails.

[3:38] One was marked for one to three steps, and the other was marked for three to five. And once again, depending on how you count our steps, it's between one and three and also a little extra length ain't always a bad thing on a handrail. Well, and the first ones we bought were supposed to be for two to three. Yeah, and it was not. And it wasn't for ours. Not for ours. It would not work for ours for two to three steps. I don't know what shallow-esque steps they were planning on those being on. I don't know, like one-inch risers or something. Yeah, those were not standard rise and run steps by my estimation. So anyways, we pull those out of the box. The first one works great for two steps. It's a short rail. We pull out the second one, and it's a fucking balance beam. I swear to shit. Yeah.

[4:20] It's a stairwell. It is not little cute front steps of house steps. So, anyways, we have one that could work. Yes. And it is actually pretty reasonable in the space, and it's probably exactly what we need if we're being honest. So, at least one of them did work out. But we've been having struggles with it, and part of the struggles is we put holes that were not in the right place. And so we you went out and got quick crete which is the first time i think we've actually had it on site actually and we've been talking for years about how one of these days we're just going to go get the fucking quick crete and fill all the holes we put in the garage and all the holes that were there before we got there and we never fucking did it and then we didn't as the saying goes well guess who finally went through and filled in the at least the worst of the holes in the garage Crystal did yeah.

[5:14] I mean, and some of those, like I said, predated our ownership of this house. Yeah, the worst is in the very first room. It was like two inches long and probably two and a half inches wide and an inch and a half deep. Yeah, it didn't go all the way through. If somebody was dumb and wore heels. The toe of their foot, right? Or wore heels, yeah. Yeah, heels through a haunted house. Or had a sharp enough toe and got dug into it. Yeah. It could have been bad. And no problem ever came of it. It's because we've always hit it or made people walk around it. Yeah, but it's never been in the walking path. Now it's filled along with a couple of others that were out and about. So that's actually good progress. Unfortunately, we spent most of our limited outside work time trying to do this handrail, and we still don't have a fucking handrail. Yeah. Because now we're waiting on the proper drill bits to come from Amazon because Home Depot didn't have them. Yeah. Yeah, I bought some, they are started, they're square, they're in the right place, they just aren't deep enough. Yeah, because, man, people who work in masonry drilling routinely are very impressive to me right now. Yeah. Like, the people that went through and did our termite traps. Yeah. I'm very fucking impressed they were able to put that many holes that deep in our concrete that quickly. Yeah. Jesus goddamn Christ. trying to do this even with a very good drill is a huge pain in the ass but anyways we did that.

[6:44] We did a little bit of cleanup out and about uh we patched a hole in the side of our actual house um that was left by our power company yes thanks a lot thanks a lot energy we really appreciate and thank you for telling us yeah and making sure i knew about it the minute it happened rather than me discovering it probably years fucking later yeah i'm a little bit peeved about that. Yeah, it's not an actual hole in the house. It's a hole in the siding which, you know, leaves the house open to moisture. Yeah, and even though I realized where it is, it's not getting hit with a lot of rain because it's right up against the other house. Still, I don't like the idea of water intrusion. Patch that. No thanks to Entergy. Anyways, let's move on.

[7:27] Question for the audience. Every week we ask a question of the week. Last week's question was, what was a way a haunt made Made you feel included. Aww.

[7:38] Alright, so, starting us off, Chris Gay said, The first pro haunt I worked at had a cast party of On Fire the first weekend of November. Being invited to that felt awesome. You know, I think that is, like, the best thing a haunt can do to make people feel included and fight them. Because here's the thing, and this is true, I think, of a lot of us. A lot of us operate on the same principles as vampires. hires if you don't explicitly invite us we don't know we're welcome to come yes you can tell us that this is happening but if you're if it's not an actual invite i mean you can tell us it is happening you can say the words we would like you to come if you can't no no if you don't say you are invited to come we want you to come please come you you can also say this in the bedroom um But the point of the matter is, where I'm getting to, is if you don't make it explicit, bad explicit, a lot of people ain't going to get it. That's what I'm trying to get at. Sam Verrill said, when I was just a young aficionado, I left a nice review on a larger haunts website, and the owner reached out to thank me and offered me and my friends free VI passes and gave us a behind-the-scenes tour. That experience influenced a lot of my current passion for awning. That is so cool. Yeah, nice that that happened. and suyuk. Yeah. All right.

[8:58] Sabra Pretty. Sorry if I butchered that. 14 years ago, I went to Darkside Acres. The owner welcomed us to stay after and join their after hours meeting. The next weekend, I started acting. Everyone accepted me and helped me grow my character. After a few years, the owner made me my very own room. I am a Darksider for life. You know, that's an interesting approach to building your actor base. Yeah. Yeah. Just recruit the most enthusiastic as a customer. Yes. All right. So anyways, that brings us to this week's topic, which is 13 secrets we don't tell the customers. Even though we sometimes are thinking of them really fucking loudly. Now, this kind of dovetails with a previous episode.

[9:44] Basically, September 2020, we did an episode, I believe it was 251, where we talked about 13 things we wished customers knew. And they were things like how difficult haunting is.

[9:55] Yeah. Did you actually say the question of the week this week? Oh, no. No, I did not. You were right. Or are you just getting into the topic? I'm just getting into the... Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Moving back for one second. This week's question of the week is related to the topic, obviously. It is, what is the secret you never tell customers? Yeah. What are you having the hardest time holding back? Tell us your secret here. There are no aficionados here. You can tell HauntWeekly.com, HauntWeekly Twitter, HauntWeekly Facebook, and YouTube.com slash HauntWeekly. Let us know what is the secret you hold on to from your customers. Okay. So anyways, we did episode 251 about things we wish customers knew and we wish we could get out there more. Now we're doing the opposite. Things that we as actors, owners, builders, set designers, makeup people, whatever you're doing, that we know that we deliberately keep from the customers. So, yeah, on that note, I guess just jump on in. All right. So you are, as the customer, you're never more than 10 feet away from behind the scenes stuff. Usually you're a lot closer than you think. Yeah. 10 feet was fucking generous when I wrote this. I admit that. Usually it's like five. Yeah, maybe. Like a meter, a good meter, a couple yards away at most. Well, and I think that some fire codes require three foot.

[11:15] Well, you have to have your three foot walkway. But once again, it could be to your left or your right. Anyway. Anyway, move on. so behind the scenes it's closer than you think we like to present haunts as actual places but they're really 3D movie sets that you just walk.

[11:32] And have fun with the actors yeah and that's why if you take a single wrong turn or look maybe where you weren't supposed to look yeah naughty not naughty you know no please look around um but were you but look somewhere that they hadn't planned on you looking you can see an actor run you might see into a machine room a lounge area um an electrics room or something like that that That you were not meant to see or ever be anywhere near. Because, I mean, haunted attractions, as we described it, are basically labyrinths that are built like movie sets. You have the walls and what you were supposed to see. And on the other side of it is usually just some bullshit. Yeah. It's the crew. You know, it's turning the camera around from the inside of the set to the outside. It reminds me of the episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Where Will Smith was like, man, if we're so rich, how come we ain't got a ceiling? And they pan up and you see the giant lighting rig over the stage. It's exactly like that. If you look in any direction that you're not supposed to, that they didn't think about. And most haunts do build in three dimensions. So it's usually 360, but around that corner.

[12:48] Well, it's also like the Reading Rainbow Star Trek crossover episode. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that we just saw in the documentary. Yeah. By the way, highly recommend that documentary. Also, the Jim Henson one. Yes. Both were actually really good and really touched me in my childhood feels. Yes. I got to say, I got childhood feels in both of those. Reading Rainbow one in particular for me because that was just my shit growing up, man. I loved LeVar Burton and Reading Rainbow. Who knew TV could make you want to read? but like you said there they pointed out that like you had the engineering set and you had the whoopity whoopity whoopity whoopity but you look like five feet one way it's just some dude standing there holding a microphone.

[13:32] It's like, that's basically the way haunts are, where movie sets that you just happen to be walking through. It's all that physicality you see around you doesn't actually exist. No. It's meant to look like it does, but it absolutely does not. And it's pretty impressive when you actually do get behind the scenes and see just how close customers are to that stuff all the time. Number two. Yes, we talk about you after you're gone. This is one of the few secrets i can guarantee applies to every single goddamn haunted attraction on the planet yeah some of these like okay like the first one if you're a trail haunt i guess it's possible you're a long distance away from behind the scenes stuff because the forest is the scenery you know so there's some technicalities you can play there but if it's an indoor haunt that's probably very true this one every goddamn haunt does this i guarantee it yes we if you give a good scare, if you give a weird scream, you have a funny reaction, you drop something, you have a code yellow or God help you, a code brown.

[14:40] Yes, we will be sharing the story and laughing about it in the after party when all are hanging out afterward. And if your story is good enough, we may be talking about it for years. Yes. And not just to people who were there at the the time. Not just to our crew. If we go to conferences, we will retell the story of you without knowing your name. The story of the marionette guy. Yes. I've still got the footage of him. I don't understand what the fuck that was, to be honest with you. But that's the way he scare reacted. He turned into a marionette puppet. Don't look at me.

[15:16] But no, stuff like that, we will talk about you. But please don't take it personally. Okay. We have no idea who you are. And even if we do know, most of the time, between darkness, masks, you know, trying to quickly pop out and do things, we don't really see you. We don't know who you are. We're not going to recognize you at the grocery store and go, hey, you're the marionette guy. No. I couldn't tell that person, even with the security camera footage and very good security cameras, I couldn't spot them in a lineup. Now, I will say that if you are a line actor, you may actually remember repeat customers from year to year. That's true. Because we have someone who does that. Yep. And they will call us out on not remembering people if we don't put it in here. Well, that's fair. And the other thing is if you do anything, like, actively bad, you will be remembered. Yeah. This only applies to customers that have funny scare reactions. Yeah. Yeah.

[16:19] That's all it really applies to. If you do something genuinely bad, if you assault someone or steal something, oh, the haunt will remember you then. Oh, yeah, you're on a banned list. We've got people watching for you.

[16:30] So don't take that as that you can totally steal from a haunt and punch the actors and whatnot. No, no. No, no, no. This is just don't feel bad if you have a funny scare reaction because, yes, we'll talk about you, but, no, we will never actually apply it to you personally. Yeah, it's all in good fun. All right, next up. All right. We are barely holding it together. Jesus Christ. I've wanted to scream this one sometimes. Yeah. It's just like, why are you still talking to me? Why aren't you getting out of my scene? These are long nights, often after working long days. Get in the fucking haunt, you dipshits. Jesus fucking Christ. I don't care who goes first. No. Physical. Jesus, take the wheel because these people aren't.

[17:12] Physical activity, heat, cold, stress, uncomfortable positions and costumes. Yeah. So, yeah, we're physically and mentally at our... Especially later in the season. Yeah. Because, like, even with our three-night run, by the end of Halloween night, between all the stuff, work we did in September, October, and then the two nights we ran previously, we're barely vertical. We're held together by Yummy Ellie Food, which that is like the greatest contribution ellie has ever made to the haunt is ensuring that we have actual food yeah so we can eat like human beings instead of eating like trolls over the sink just scarfing cookies or whatever's available but now um yeah it's we're so tired yeah we've been through so much and we don't have the energy for your and it's physical and mental that we're barely holding on. You know what I mean? And it's so, so frustrating sometimes when customers don't understand exactly what we're doing. Because a lot of people who work professional haunts, like, so it's like, and now some of these are opening up in August. Yeah. God help us. But like from mid-September through all of October, they've been holding day jobs. We'll get to this in a minute. This actually comes up in a second. But, you know, they're working their day jobs, Then leaving there and then coming to the haunt, you know, working the weekend there.

[18:41] They haven't had a day off, an honest to God day off, probably in six weeks. Yeah. It's rough. It takes its toll on you physically, mentally. Our voices hurt. Our knees hurt. Our backs hurt. We are beyond tired. We are kept vertical by energy drinks alone. Pretty much, yeah. And so, yeah, please have a little pity on us, you know, sometimes is what it comes down to. And so if you see the haunt actors not having their best night, that's why. Yeah. Especially if it's later in season. I can almost guarantee you that's why. All right. Item number four, and this is a big one for me.

[19:19] We're scared of the customers, too. Have you ever heard with animals, they're more scared of you than you are of them? No. Like, you know, I remember when we were going out and doing a lot of hiking, we saw the coyote out there. No. And every time I saw a coyote, you see the back of it. Mm-hmm. You never see it in the front of you. You see the ass in it. Because it's trying to get the fuck away from you. You don't want any of your shit. You know, only, like, only got to worry about the wild boar. Yeah. In this area. In this area, at least. And the wild boar, they just want you out of the area. They don't really want to eat you. No. They just want you gone. Which is, they'll make sure you leave, and that's the end of it. I might have been, we might have been escorted out by some boar. But the point is, the whole, they're more scared of you than you are scared of them thing, also applies to haunt actors a lot of the time. Yeah. Because here's the thing about it um it is rare for actors to punch or assault customers.

[20:12] It is many, many, many times more likely for a customer to hit an actor. A, there are many, many times more customers. But B, that's just the way, you know, the startle reaction flows. Yeah, and, you know, if actors act badly by hitting customers, they're not going to be actors for very long. No, they will not. It's also very rare for actors to take any higher level of violence against the customers. You know, shooting, stabbing, whatever. Whatever.

[20:39] Most violence that takes place in a haunt is customer on customer or customer on actor. Yeah. In fact, that year we had all of the shootings. I think that was 2020. Every single one I can recall was a customer either shooting another customer or customer shooting an actor. Yeah. And so here's the thing. We're aware of that. We're aware that we can get hit. We can get tackled and we can have worse happen to us. We're very cognizant of that. So, yes, we are scared of the customers. And if you're not at least a little bit scared of the customers, you're not paying fucking attention. Yeah. I'm not saying change anything you're doing. Just be cognizant of this. It turns out customers are unpredictable people. Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, we're taking people, mostly young people, and scaring them, getting an extreme reaction from them emotionally. And the result of that is unpredictability. Because, you know, and this is one thing that I think I've learned as I've gotten older. As I look back at my younger self, young me was way too easily guided by in-the-moment emotions.

[21:54] You know, I didn't have the emotional maturity to really like put things in context. And I'm not saying I'm perfect at it now. I was just way worse at it back then. And yeah, similar situation here. You bring young people in who maybe don't know what their fight or flight response is. They maybe don't know how they're going to react to a scary situation. And you're putting them in one.

[22:19] It's really what happens. So, yeah, we are definitely very scared of the customers.

[22:23] It's not just the customers being scared of us. Mm-hmm. Moving on. All right. We have thought way too much about our character. Oh, man. Yeah. Dude. So, big cons. I know this is a big one for you and me. Yeah. Big cons are going to have, you know, full backstories for their characters that fill novels with it. You know, they just write out stories for everybody. And character actors, especially traveling ones, always have characters that are fully developed that they can pull from and take to different haunts.

[22:58] Yeah. It's essential for that line of acting. Yeah. And it doesn't really, but from the customer standpoint, you're never going to learn all that. No. Not a chance at all. Because even with line actors, you typically only get a few minutes of interaction. Action and the line actor is not going to waste everyone's time by sitting you down and then lecturing you for whatever amount of time about their backstory before sending you into the haunt you know the backstory all that is there to inform the actor not the audience in this case we're telling we're determining how we move the accent we use the words we use, right and we're trying to build a character and the more you get to know your character the easier it is to react to customers who go off script yeah you know who who needle at you intentionally to try to get you to interact with them and take you off guard yeah because some customers that's their deal they want to catch you off guard.

[24:01] And once again, we've had this conversation before. Your character is not more important than safety. Right. If people have legitimate needs, issues, questions, or whatnot, and the only way to convey the point is to break character, break character. Yeah. I'm not one of those never break character people. No. Always break character if safety or customer happiness and security is on the line. But yeah, you're right. There are some people that just want to needle and throw out random things. And if you've got that more robust backstory, you can go, okay, what would blah, blah, blah do here? And think about it and come up with that response. But yeah, you're never going to hear that entire backstory unless you read their post on fanfiction.net or buy their self-published e-book off Amazon for $10. Basically, that's the whole point is in the interaction time, you're never going to know about this wild backstory. Story but then there's the other side of that coin which is number six or on the other side we have no fucking clue who our character is yeah you know we just got handed a zombie costume and stuck in the cemetery you know we have no clue who the fuck we are someone i'm i'm ghoul too behind the drop panel today i don't know what that brings you know and that that happens a lot a lot at odds, especially if you're the quote unquote new person.

[25:28] They will often just give you a costume and stick you in a place to see how you handle it. They're not going to have, you know, it's very rare, unless you're one of those traveling actors, to be able to bring your own character to a haunt. Yeah. If you start new at a haunt, it's going to be, here's your bullshit costume, here's your mask, or here's your quick and dirty makeup. Go hide in that corner there. Go be in behind that drop panel. Something like that. And it also is variant upon the size of haunt you're acting at and you're going to. Yes. Because bigger haunts are going to have more fleshed out characters, usually. And smaller haunts are going to be more fly by the seat of their pants, is what I've found. But even at the bigger haunts, there's going to be characters that are just background filler. Oh, yeah. And so you're going to get those no character roles. Yeah. And I know as a haunter, I mean, I remember when I was working at one haunt, I was just doing the black morph suit thing. Yeah. I was sitting there between customers thinking, okay, what the hell is my character and my motivation? Because all I'm doing is I'm wearing a black morph suit and running through moldy clothes. Yeah. I still haven't figured out that character. If you have any idea what the fuck character that should have been, please let us know at all the places I mentioned multiple times per episode. I'm very curious to see what you all come up with for a black morph suit guy running around in smelly clothes.

[26:47] I mean, it would fucking work to get out the reactions, but Jesus Christ. So, yeah. There's the two extremes every haunt actor has experienced. I know every minutia about this character, and I don't have any fucking clue who I am. There's nothing in the middle. Mm-hmm. All right. Number seven. Number seven, if you're keeping track. If you lost something in the haunt, we probably have it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's... Not only do we have it, but... We probably have it on display. it is a trophy there is a trophy case with your shit in it yep now because basically you know the first rule is secure your shit people don't take your cell phone out put in a good pocket wear shoes that are good don't do flip-flops or sandals in a haunted house jesus fucking christ people yeah don't take your cell phones out i know it's fun to go live but you know don't Man.

[27:51] And also, the big one for me lately has been don't wear hats or headpieces like costume figures. Oh, yeah. We've gotten so many of those. We have so many of like devil ears or devil horns or kitty ears or things like that. Tiny witch's hats. Tiny witch's hats.

[28:07] Yeah. Don't wear hats or bands that are going to catch stuff and fall off. Because even if we don't have things that are in the way... Um if you bend over or fall your head moves around a lot which it might then yeet to the moon with you and yeah basically most haunts if you drop something expensive or essential like if you lose a shoe they will probably try to find your shoe for you yeah just that way you can walk home and in your shame for wearing the wrong shoes to a haunted house if you drop your cell phone they'll probably give your broken-ass phone to you. No. Because that's expensive, and we understand that. But all that other stuff we just mentioned, like bits of costume, jewelry, headbands.

[28:52] God help us, candy. We found lipstick. Lipstick. It's been expensive lipstick. Yeah. Things that were in a purse that might have gotten dumped. Yeah. All that shit, yeah, that's ours. Glasses will go back to you, though. Oh, glasses will. Because you need to see. Yeah, you need to see. Glasses, shoes, and cell phones, I think, are the ones that are routinely returned. Yeah. Because for the reasons we mentioned, they're necessary and or expensive. But everything else, nope, that's ours now. We own it, and it's on display. So if you're like, huh, you know, I had that headband I was wearing fall off inside, blah, blah, blah, haunt all those years ago. I wonder what happened to it. I wonder if it's still there. No, no, they have it. It's on display in their home. I will guarantee you that. Yeah, it's part of a haunt scene. It's part of something. It's on display somewhere. You might be able to go revisit it, but it's probably going to be in the background of a scene, as you noted. So go see your headband this Halloween season. Yeah, good idea. We should pitch it that way. If you drop shit, we're going to use it in the haunt. Come back and find it. Yep.

[29:55] Oh, man. Number eight. Okay, we've got two more serious ones here. But the challenge of making a haunt wheelchair accessible. We never talk about this with the customers. But for most businesses, and something I learned, is that ADA compliance isn't that hard. Like when we did the yarn store, we knew the building was ADA compliant. So we had the ramps leading to the door, and the door itself barely got a lip on it, just as a threshold. So we knew the building was ADA compliant. All we had to make sure of was that we had 36-inch walkways going around, and that the corners were able for a wheelchair to navigate. And we've had people navigate it with motorized scooters even. Them yeah no problem go team we did a good job it took like five seconds doing it in a haunted house, where you're trying to be claustrophobic and you're trying to use incredibly winding paths once again a labyrinth it's a movie set as we described it earlier yeah it's a little more difficult and a lot of work goes into that and i'm always very proud when we're able to get It's always a real source of pride whenever someone goes through in a wheelchair. Yeah.

[31:07] Yeah. And I've heard that from multiple haunts who are accessible. Yeah. It is difficult. It is incredibly difficult. And like I said, most businesses have to think about it some, but not nearly to the extent Haunted Attraction does. Yeah. Like I said, we think more about wheelchair accessibility every fucking year than we thought about with Haunted Yarnhole at the one time we set it up. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think that's fairly accurate. That's fair. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to hit at. It's like your average yarn store slash subway or whatever the hell else is in that shopping center. Doesn't really think too much about 88 haunts think about it constantly i mean constantly.

[31:50] I remember one home good good i remember one home we worked at um they were repairing a uh tomb scene there was a scene where you walk through a tomb they had to repair it because someone got scared slammed into it and when they did they bumped one of the walls very shoddily built tomb scene we should add and it caused one of the doorways to not have the required width for um, So they were literally, as the show was running, trying to reposition the doorway to get back to ADA compliance while we were open. Yeah. That's the type of shit we go through for this. Yeah, that's something that customers aren't going to see. Or notice. Or notice, yeah. All you're going to notice is that you have a nice,

[32:32] clean, wide walkway that makes it very apparent where to go. And honestly, that's the way it should be. You shouldn't be thinking about these things to the customer. No. Speaking of which. All right, same goes for fire code, because fire marshals and the haunted house industry have a sordid history. We'll just say, you know, cats and dogs, Irish and English, graphic designers and Microsoft Word, natural enemies. Yeah, I knew you were trying to get to that one. Yeah, because it's been in my brain a lot lately. Yeah, but no, see also haunted castle fire episode. Yeah, blah, blah, blah.

[33:09] Yeah, but we're held to a much higher standard for that than most businesses. And to capitalize on this, Ellie didn't get her fire inspection for fire code until she'd been open a fucking year. They came in, looked around, said, recharge your fire extinguisher. Here's your approval. Have a good day. Yeah, exactly. That was it. You will not get that treatment at a haunted house. I guarantee you that. Unless you are in the ruralest of rural areas, maybe. Not even then, really. And the Haunted Castle fire really was the pivot point because the fire marshals, I think incorrectly, took the blame for that. Yeah. And I don't think that was fair. I think Six Flags did literally everything they could to mis-aspirate that situation.

[33:57] But yeah, no, fire marshals got blamed and now we're enemy number one all these decades later still. Yeah.

[34:05] So, yeah, once again, you shouldn't have to think about these things. You shouldn't be thinking about these things, but I guarantee you, you're going to find exit signs in all the correct places you need them. You're going to find the emergency lighting. Sprinklers will be there. They should be in an ideal universe, invisible to you. Other than the exit signs. The exit signs, it's a requirement to be visible. But invisible in that you're not actively seeing it until you need it. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're right. It has to be visible, but it doesn't mean it has to be the focus of the scene. Well, and it's also, you know, where you are changes.

[34:42] Like, the fire codes here are not the same as Chicago. Well, the fire code is supposed to be national, even though there are some local rules. Yeah. But enforcement is all over the goddamn map. Well, and we've also seen some haunts have to delay their opening because they were testing new foggers. Oh, yeah. You know? and the fire marshal was there to make sure everything went off okay and then the alarm got activated because they never ran the foggers test a test of them before opening day yeah you know which haunt we're talking about if you're out there some some of you from this haunt are listening yeah you know we're talking about you and we're not going to say the name but you know what happened yeah so and you know and we've had friends who own and work at other haunts who the The fire marshal has decided to come out day before opening. Or day of opening, yeah. Hours before opening. Yeah, and shut them down. Or say you can't do X, Y, and Z, and you have to change it before you can open in the next two hours. Yeah, one of our friends had to do an emergency replacement of ceiling tiles. Yeah.

[35:51] Which, okay, that's kind of weird. I don't see how that's a fire issue. No. I mean, maybe there's something. I get it. with the drop ceiling, those tiles have to be, they're very fire resistant. Yes. So I guess the fear is that a fire would start above it and then transfer down to it through the open holes. But that's a stretch. Yeah. That should be a, hey, get that fixed before you, you know what I mean? Yeah. Anyway. So yeah, basically though, we think a lot about fire code.

[36:24] That's what it comes down to. And also, and that translates to your bonus, you know, secret, quote-unquote secret, is that you will be very safe. Yeah. I mean, because we are held to that standard in both ADA and fire code. A good haunt that complies with both is going to be a very safe walkthrough. So that's cool, right?

[36:46] Okay, number 10, as we're getting toward, you know, our climax here. Not that there is one. Don't expect that. But number 10 is you missed a lot of details when you went in the room. A lot. Yeah. Because basically when building scenes, Horner's put in a lot of details and, We do not expect people to see every detail of. No, they're just for us. We detail things a lot, A, to share with other haunters, and look how detailed our scene is and how nice it is. And it's all so that you would walk into it and go, this is a boiler room, this is a library scene, this is a mad scientist room. Yeah. All that work just so you can do that one-sentence description in your head and move on. Well, and the more detailed a scene is, the more engrossing the experience is. Exactly. Even if you don't see the details, they contribute to that engrossingness. Yeah. Is kind of the point. But, yeah, there's a lot of details in there that are just for us and we know it. Because you can't see everything when you go through a haunt. Right. Like I said, 360 movie set labyrinth. Mm-hmm. What a haunted attraction is.

[37:53] So, yeah, but even if you could see everything, you go through it painfully slow and examine every detail, you're not going to understand a lot of it. Because every haunt also works in inside jokes into their build like we've been putting in uh repo the genetic opera clue and other jokes like that for us for years yeah and we finally did the organ repossession thing that one um it was supposed to be our 2020 season yeah no it's supposed to be our 2019 season right um we actually did organ repossession we went like really crazy with the repo references but we've been making them a secret for years up to that point that was just a year we made it obvious yeah yeah no before that though we had um the diner that that we did and we had some books for the diner i don't remember why but they were all on etiquette yeah um and then there was the uh what was i thinking of i had another one the law books yeah the law books were an interesting one we deliberately picked out the law books on a civil rights law yeah for one one scene.

[39:03] God, there was another one, though, that we did. We built something specifically as a joke to reference a TV show or movie. I'm trying to remember what it was. But still, there's basic. You're going to find shit like that in every haunt. You're going to find people having a little fun with the design. And if you do see it, if you do see one or two of them, you're going to go, ah, cool, that's great. But you're not going to see them all. No way, no. Not a chance. Number 11.

[39:32] Every haunt has had at least one incident they'd like to forget. Yeah. That's just people in general. It is, but also it's specifically haunts. Yeah. Because a lot of the worst haunting going wrong stories involve drugs or alcohol. Yeah. And most of the time, in my experience, they don't actually impact customers because they're usually just something gets destroyed or damaged behind the scenes. But sometimes they do, and that's sad. I remember I was there at one of the nights that I'm sure was like this when the ghouls in the graveyard were passing around moonshine. Yeah. And one of them took a little dump into a fogger. Yep. Yeah. You've heard of a steaming hot shit before.

[40:26] Have you tried to walk through it? God damn. I was glad I was in the house that day. Yeah, you and I both were in house that day, not in the outside. I was at the transition from inside to outside. I was in the transition, but I was on the other side of the property from this. And I thank my lucky stars every day for that. Yeah. But yeah, every haunt has had that night or that incident. That they just want to forget. Those people are gone. We don't deal with them anymore. We just don't talk about it ever again. Right? And that's why a lot of haunts don't allow alcohol. Most don't. I don't think many do. No. Or for alteration in any way. Yeah. Because you're also interacting with customers. It's a safety issue, first and foremost. And like I tell our actors every year, look, when we're done, I'll go drinking with you. We'll drink each other at the fucking table at the bar up the road or wherever, trust me, we'll go get drunk, but we're not going to start it until after we shut everything down and we are done shutting everything down. Yep.

[41:31] I mean, we'll meet up then. We'll have a good time. All righty. Well, number 12, it's a job, but not a real job.

[41:42] Here's the thing. Very, very, even though thousands of people, thousands and thousands of people are employed.

[41:58] Haunting is seasonal work. It's six to eight weeks out of the year, and it's only at night, and it's not every night.

[42:07] So even if it paid $15 an hour, it could not replace a full-time income. It could not equal one. So, yes, it is a job. We get paid. We have human resources. We have employee contracts. It is a real job in every sense, except for the fact it will not pay all the bills. Yes. And be clear, actors should get fucking paid at professional haunts. Yes. I'm being very clear about this. Yes. The other thing is for charity and home haunts, we're probably not getting paid. We are just there strictly because we love doing this. Yeah. But for pro haunts, it is a job, but not a full-time job. Nearly everybody there has a quote-unquote day job, even if they're a student, whether they're actually just working nine to five somewhere else, they have a quote-unquote real job somewhere else. So, yeah, this is their second job. Keep that in mind. and it goes back to the whole we're barely holding it together thing, right? No. But basically, yes, we get paid. It is a job, but it is not a real full-time job. If you don't love it, you're never going to do it because, believe me, the money is not going to be what brings you in. Right, and enjoying it so much and being at the end of your rope whenever a customer is mean to you because they can be mean yeah our feelings get hurt you know don't do that that's just mean.

[43:37] Yeah, I guess this is another one of those please be kind to haunters moments.

[43:43] Yeah. All right, number 13 to wrap it up. We want to see you happy. Damn straight. Yep, we act big, tough, and scary, but we just want to see you smile at the end like you got through it together. Have a little laugh at each other and yourselves. Yeah. Because the whole point of a haunted attraction is fun through fear.

[44:07] The fun part is really really fucking important no because only a true psychopath wants to scare someone to the point that they have a breakdown that they have an incident or that they get ptsd or something like that no not most haunters want you to get good and scared have a very funny reaction and then smile and laugh about it as you go to the next scene or as you exit the haunt no The reason every year, and I've said this multiple times, the thing I love working most in front of house A is more interactivity, but I love that I get to see the smiles on people's faces as they leave. Yeah. It is so rewarding and it makes me go, okay, that's why I'm doing this. That's why I'm going thousands of dollars into debt and losing three months out of my life to this work is for that. And it feels good. It really does feel good. But we're not allowed to tell the customers this, that we love seeing them smile and laugh and be happy because we're supposed to be like such a big, tough, scary haunt and you're supposed to... We only want to see you scream. Yeah, make a scream. Code yellow, code brown.

[45:24] That's all we want. No, we say that, but the reality is we want to see you happy. We want to see you enjoy it and we want to see it come back because you enjoyed it. Yeah. I think that's fairly straightforward stuff, right? So, yeah, we can't tell the customers that, but we like it when they smile and laugh and have fun. Yes. Yes, we do. Well, I think that's everything. So, that's secrets that we don't tell customers actively. Also, maybe it should be billed as things that you won't find in haunt ads. Yeah, and we know we didn't cover everything. That's why the question of the week is what it is. Yep. So please, leave your things that you don't tell customers or would never tell customers. Leave it to us. And trust us with your secrets. We don't have anybody to tell it to. It's not like we have a pot. Oh, wait. But on that note, yes, leave those secrets at HauntWeekly.com, HauntWeekly on X slash Twitter, whatever. Leave it on HauntWeekly on Facebook and YouTube.com slash HauntWeekly. Also, get us wherever you get your podcasts from. Until next time, though, I'm Jonathan. I'm Crystal. And we will see you all next week.