The Career Confidence Podcast
The Career Confidence Podcast
57. Strategies for Handling Pressure and Setting Boundaries as a Lawyer
Ever felt like the pressures of being a lawyer are too much to handle? You're not alone and I've got some insights for you. Today, we're diving into these overwhelming expectations and taking back control.
Being a lawyer comes with high client demands, the pressure of feeling like you have to know everything and like you have to always be available. This episode will arm you with practical strategies to help you navigate these pressures without the overwhelm.
Learn how to master the art of time management, think through requests, and above all, implement those much-needed boundaries.
Let's dive into this episode!
Connect with the host:
Website: https://marijaduka.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marija-duka/
Instagram: @marija.duka
Click HERE to sign up to the free 3 mindset shifting e-lessons.
Welcome to the Career Confidence podcast, the podcast for driven lawyers wanting to step out of the traditional path and build fulfilling and purposeful careers. I'm your host, maria Ducar, legal counsel and career coach, helping you navigate your career with intention and confidence. In this podcast, we don't show away from having real conversations about topics that matter to us. Driven AF go-getters From manifesting your dream career, negotiating the salary you deserve, creating your personal brand, knowing when it's time to pivot. We cover these topics and so much more. You ready, let's dive into today's episode. Hey, hey, welcome to another episode of the Career Confidence podcast. I'm really excited to be in your ears today. I hope that you're having a great week so far as we head towards the end of this year. I really hope that you're taking time out to look after yourself and you're not getting caught up in the craziness that comes with the busyness of the end of the year. Yes, look after yourself.
Speaker 1:In the theme of looking after yourself, today's podcast episode is something that I've been thinking a lot about lately. That is about navigating the pressures that come with being a lawyer. If you're listening to this and you are a lawyer, you are probably very much aware of the inherent pressures that come with this profession. I also feel like there's this unspoken rule that we get held to a higher standard than the average person, which comes with that a lot of challenges, a lot of stresses and anxiety that it can cause us. I want to firstly address the positive sides of pressure, because I do believe there is a place for pressure and expectations. Then I want to dive into the different forms of pressure that we face, the common forms in particular, and how we can navigate through these. They'll provide you with some tips and tools to help you navigate through these different pressures so that you don't feel this heavy load on you and that it shouldn't be something that takes over your life completely and makes you feel constantly stressed and pressured, because that's not really a conducive way to live your life. Our profession shouldn't be taking over in that negative kind of way. There will be times where we feel more stressed than other times, but if it's a constant thing that we feel, then it's time to address that and implement some tools to help us navigate and ease that pressure.
Speaker 1:It turns to the positive side of pressure. I do feel like it does have a place in our life in general, not just necessarily the pressure comes with being a lawyer, but in general, just having a high standard and high expectations of yourself is a good thing, in that you hold yourself to a certain standard, which means that you push yourself, you challenge yourself to grow, to expand, to always be improving, to be better, and that is a good thing. However, that can be a bad thing if it's taken too far and it makes you feel constantly stressed and it gives you anxiety. That's not when it is a positive thing, but I feel like the right amount of pressure is a good thing. I wanted to preface the episode with talking about that, because I am not someone that thinks that we should just be floating about every day with no pressures. That's not reality in life. We do have pressures. As driven type A lawyers, we do have high expectations of ourselves, which allows us to perform at our highest level as well, which allows us to achieve and to create opportunities for ourselves. It's not a bad thing if it is helping you grow, expand, learn and be the best version of yourself. But we'll go into the negative side of pressure today, which does cause us a bit of a lot of anxiety and pressure, so that we can navigate through this together. If you are navigating through this at the moment, I just want you to feel that a lot of us feel this.
Speaker 1:It's common, as I said, I feel like it's this unspoken rule that we just get held to this higher standard. Sometimes it's just not fair because, for example, if you work in-house, you might say your colleagues that are not lawyers being held to a different standard. That can feel unfair. However, we will move into some navigating of those pressures so that you can alleviate that and feel empowered in your role, feel like you have everything you need to perform your role to the best of your ability, whilst also enjoying it and thriving, which are all possible things. It's not an impossible All right. So let's move into the different forms of pressure.
Speaker 1:First and foremost, the high expectations placed on you by clients. If you're in private practice, your clients the ones that I guess pay the firm bills, and if you're in-house, your clients could be the executive team. You know other departments and all of that. So this is again like it comes with any role, right? Any and every professional has certain expectations placed on them to perform a role to a certain standard. Of course we get that. That's what I spoke about the start of this, that that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing to have standards.
Speaker 1:However, where it becomes a problem and maybe we have all had varying degrees of this throughout our career is where there is this really unrealistic expectation that just because you're a lawyer, you should know everything and have all the answers straightaway. I mean, I've felt this pressure throughout my career and it has at times felt debilitating and it has sometimes forced me to belittle myself if I don't actually have the answer to something. However, I've learned through experience and throughout the years that it's actually okay and normal to not know everything. There is no possible way that one person can know everything. So I feel like in this type of situation, if you are feeling like this is a constant expectation being placed on you should know everything and that's being projected onto you in a negative type of way. In this scenario, it's okay for you to take back control of that type of dynamic and say you know what I actually don't know, but I will look into this, or I'll speak to my colleague or my boss who has more experience dealing with this type of thing, but I will get back to you once I have more information on this.
Speaker 1:I feel like there's so much power in saying that you don't know and that you will actually take the steps to find out. That way you're going back by being up front. You're not lying and pretending like you have to have the answer right now and advising correctly just because you succumb to that pressure. But it shows that initiative as well that you don't know, call whatever, but you're actually going to do something to find out. Or, if it's something that isn't within your field at all, you can refer them on to someone else in the industry that they can go seek that advice from, or whatever it may be.
Speaker 1:I feel like there's so much power and liberation that comes with recognising that you don't know and it's okay and you're not going to know every single thing, especially if you have taken the time to and this takes some practice, because we can get into our ego a lot and feel like we have to know everything with these smart, intelligent people that have worked so hard to get to where we are and we should know everything straight away and we can be really hard on ourselves. So, yeah, it's okay to say that you don't know and that you'll find out and also be kind to yourself. Don't go straight into belittling yourself Like I should know this, I'm not smart enough, I'm not good enough. No, you can't possibly know every single thing, and it's got nothing to do with you not being good enough or smart enough or whatever enough. It is just life that you're not going to know everything, and that's fine and that is okay. So once you recognise this, it just lifts the weight off your shoulders.
Speaker 1:Another form of pressure that can be placed on you as a lawyer is when your client or employer, colleagues, whoever you're working with, puts all the decision-making power onto you. I don't know about you, but as a lawyer, I get a lot of decision fatigue. I really do like, especially if it's been a really busy period and I feel like I'm constantly making decisions. I'm like oh, my brain is just going to fry right now. As a lawyer, I do believe that, especially in this day and age, what it is to be a great lawyer isn't simply just to present the options, particularly so if you're in-house or even private practice. It is to also take more of an active role, to give your opinion, to give your advice as well, and that's great.
Speaker 1:However, at the end of the day, the decision-making should rest on the client, the employer, whoever again, whoever you're working with that needs to make that decision. At the end of the day, they're the ones that need to make it, and sometimes it can happen where there's this decision creep, where it always lands in the lawyer's lap, where you feel the pressure, like you're the one that needs to make this decision for the client, and this adds a lot of pressure. It is a lot of pressure because the person that does need to make the decision is the one that is, for example, the one that is in charge and running the business. That is their role. They're the ones that need to make that decision. You're there to advise, to provide them with all the resources, the information, your opinion, your perspective, the legal side of things, the law, all of that kind of stuff. But at the end of the day, that decision rests on the person that you're advising.
Speaker 1:And this is a tricky one, and I feel like this again takes time and experience to navigate through this one, especially if you're dealing with someone, particularly if you're in-house that's constantly putting that pressure onto you to make it, and so I feel like in this scenario, it's up to you to again reinforce your advice, your opinion, to say, if you take this route, this is what will happen or if you take that route, this is what will happen. And just to reinforce that and to repeat what it is that you said in a very clear and concise way, so that there is no miscommunication or no gray area or misunderstanding that you're the one that's making the decision. So again, it's you taking control of the situation as the lawyer and reiterating what your advice is, what the options are here, and then transferring that decision-making onto them and then saying if there's anything else I can help with, happy to help, happy to jump on a call with you, whatever it may be. However, this is what our advice is, or this is what our position is, and you can assess this and make the best decision for you. So that is a pretty tricky one to navigate.
Speaker 1:Another pressure a common pressure is and I've succumbed to this one so many times is that you should respond straight away to emails or phone calls, or whatever it may be, and always be available, ok. So this is where boundaries come into play. I have fallen into this pressure here to so many times of wanting to respond straight away. One of the reasons is, honestly, because I just want to get off my plate and move on to the next thing because of the high workload that we have, and also to be proactive. It comes with that. I want to be providing a service, a good service, and being responsive, being quick, being efficient Again, that's not a bad thing. However, it also can create that expectation that you are always available.
Speaker 1:And another thing it doesn't sometimes allow you to have that breathing space for the client to perhaps have a deeper think about what they're asking you for. And two, the breathing space for you to actually have a moment to think something through more clearly and deeply so that you can provide even better advice rather than just responding straight away. And there's going to be some emails where you can respond straight away that aren't as taxing on the mind, but some things it's okay to actually give us a breathing space before you respond. Like taking 24 hours to respond is still a quick response, particularly if something does actually need extra time for thinking, for maybe consulting someone else before you provide that advice. I feel like something that happens quite commonly in-house if, through my experience as well, you might get this quote-unquote urgent response that you need or someone might ask you something without them yet thinking it through and what you find what I found through my experience is when you actually give them that breathing space, they then come back to you and say, oh, I've worked it out or I've got that additional information for you to actually provide me with proper advice. Because sometimes when you get non-complete instructions or you get like a scatter-done type of email, it's actually good to allow the breathing space for the person instructing you. Particularly, it happens, as I said in-house, to have a bit of a think through something, because they're probably just writing it in the moment where they're feeling stressed about something and they're coming straight to you without actually thinking it through or even responding and saying if there's no context to something where you need more information, and responding and say, hey, thanks for your email. However, I need a bit more information. Can you give me more context around what you're asking and what it is exactly that you need my assistance with? Like, that's actually a good thing to go back again. It goes back to us thinking that we should know everything, that we should read everyone's minds. No, it's actually really good to ask more questions, especially if someone's not giving you those clear instructions. Ask more questions so you can get clearer, so then you can give that proper, well-informed advice as well. So, yeah, it gives things breathing space. You don't have to respond straight away, or, if something does require more instruction, go back and actually ask as many questions as you need to be able to provide that advice.
Speaker 1:And in terms of always being available, I am very strict with my boundaries and I'm unapologetic about that, because my outside work hours are my time, my family time. So I do not answer a call outside of work hours unless I'm expecting something that is urgent. But I know about it. Then yes, but otherwise, no, I do not. I'm not available outside of work hours. I'm not available on my annual leave, I'm not available on my days off. So this is really important to have these boundaries, because you are teaching other people what's acceptable and not acceptable behavior, and it is up to us, it is our responsibility to do this, because if we're always available and we're always responding to emails and phone calls at all hours of the day, night or whatever, then that is sending a message to the other person that that's okay for them to reach us. At that time it might be okay for them to email. They might work best at that time, which might be at night, but you do not have to respond straight away and you don't have to be available if that doesn't work with your working arrangements. So I just want you to feel really confident about having solid boundaries, and it is actually a way that you teach others how to treat you and the other form of pressure.
Speaker 1:The final one that I'll talk about is the workload. So it is no secret at all that a lawyer's workload is incredibly high. There is, again, really high expectations that you will get this done really quickly, even though with some things, you do need time to actually think it through, to research and to look into it, to consult other people. So there is that high expectation around workload. I feel like what helps me personally navigate through periods of high workload is time management, my own time management. When I'm like during my work hours, I am on and I'm smashing it out because I'm not going to be working till all hours of the night to finish something, because that doesn't align with my values and the type of lifestyle I want to live. There's that time management piece that's on you, and then the other piece is knowing what the priorities are right now and communicating that and being upfront with your time frame so that you can turn something around. So actually saying these are to your employer or, if you're to employer, if you're in-house, to the departments that are giving you work. These are the priorities at the moment. I really do need to focus on X, y and Z this week and then I'll get to you on that matter next week.
Speaker 1:It is easier I admit it is easier managing workloads when you work in-house because you're working for the one business. Everyone generally knows what the business priorities are at the time. So, yes, it is easier. However, if you do work in private practice, being realistic with the client is so much better than saying to them yeah, sure, I can do this and then not meeting that time frame and then them chasing you up because you said that you would meet that time frame and you didn't. So don't overpromise and under deliver. That's not a good place to be in. If you genuinely, if you know that you can't get to something within the time frame that's being asked of you, you be upfront and you tell them when they can expect to receive it, so you are teaching someone else on what the expectations are in this scenario.
Speaker 1:So, when it comes to workload, know the priorities and know what you can do within what time frame and be upfront with those time frames and I feel like the client will feel so much better knowing and having that transparent communication so that they can expect something from you within that realistic timeframe. And then if something is a genuinely urgent and they cannot wait, then maybe you can rearrange some things in your schedule and have to maybe go to another client and say, hey, I've had something urgent come up, I will get to yours by this day, but I have had to rearrange some things and, yeah, like I'll meet your timeframe on this day. Is that okay? Is that still work within your expected turnaround time? So communication is key. Don't just let things don't go silent, don't overpromise, don't just let things go. Be really proactive when it comes to your workload, know what you've got coming up, know what your priorities are for the week, know what's urgent and don't be afraid to communicate with your clients around having that realistic expectation around timeframe so that you can deliver everything that you need to for each client and everyone is kept happy and up to date where things are at. I think communication is key when it comes to that, and don't be afraid to be able to communicate with your clients openly.
Speaker 1:So these are the different forms of pressure and how to navigate through them. There are so many other pressures that come with being a lawyer, but I would be recording this for probably another hour and going into that. However, these are the common pressures that I have been faced with personally and clients of mine have been faced with and are facing, and I hope that today's episode really helped you to one recognize that you're not alone in feeling this pressure, that also there are good sides to having pressure and expectations, but there are also negative sides, and I hope that these tools that I've provided you help you deal with that negative side of pressure, to alleviate the pressure, so that you can feel in control of your role, feeling in control of your career and move through any anxieties or stress that you may feel. I feel like when you take the initiative to like set the boundaries, have the time management communication. It puts you back in the driver's seat of your role and it really does help to navigate through these sticky crescendo situations which we are all faced with.
Speaker 1:Like, life is not perfect. Our careers are not perfect. There are going to be moments of really high pressure and there are going to be other moments that are more quiet and we're not stressing as much. However, it's about how to navigate through these stressors, and I hope that this episode provided you with the tips and tools that you need to do this. So, yes, hope you enjoyed this episode. If you have any questions or do you need some further assistance with navigating any of these pressures that come with being a lawyer, reach out to me on LinkedIn and we can have a chat on there. Otherwise, have an amazing week and I will chat to you very soon. See ya, bye. Thanks for tuning into the Career Confidence podcast. Like what you learned today. Why not share this episode with your work, bestie, and leave us a five-star review on? Wherever you listen to your podcast on, we'd absolutely love to get into more years and help more women, just like you, build fulfilling and thriving careers. Until next time.
