The Career Confidence Podcast
The Career Confidence Podcast
68. My Pregnancy Journey (so far)
Hey hey! It's been a hot minute since I last hopped on the mic to chat with you all, but trust me, there's a very good reason for being MIA. Today, I'm diving into something a little different from our usual career chats. I'm getting personal and sharing a story that's incredibly close to my heart... I'm pregnant!
Yep, if you've been keeping up with me on social media, you probably already know the news. In this episode, I'm taking you behind the scenes on my pregnancy journey so far. From the initial conception rollercoaster to navigating through the first trimester and beginning of my second trimester, I'm giving you the full scoop.
But it's not just about the physical journey. I'm delving into the emotional side too. I'll be sharing my thoughts on stepping into motherhood and some of the worries that have been swirling around in my mind, especially when it comes to balancing it all with my career.
Now, I know not all of you tuning in are on the baby train, and that's totally cool. But for those who are or may be thinking about it in the future, I wanted to open up and share my experiences. Because let's face it, navigating the world of motherhood and career paths can feel like a lonely road sometimes.
By sharing my journey, I hope to shed some light on the realities and maybe even offer a little bit of comfort to those walking a similar path.
So grab your fave beverage, get cozy, and let's chat about the wild ride that is pregnancy!
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Welcome to the Career Confidence Podcast, the podcast for driven lawyers wanting to step out of the traditional path and build fulfilling and purposeful careers. I'm your host, maria Dukar, legal counsel and career coach, helping you navigate your career with intention and confidence. In this podcast, we don't shy away from having real conversations about topics that matter to us. Driven AF go-getters From manifesting your dream career, negotiating the salary you deserve, creating your personal brand, knowing when it's time to pivot. We cover these topics and so much more. You ready, let's dive into today's episode. Hello, hello. Well, it's been a hot minute since I've been on the mic and recording a solo episode. It's actually been since March. I can't believe that. And I have episode. It's actually been since March. I can't believe that. And I have so much to share with you. And I'm sure if you follow me on LinkedIn or Instagram, you will know that I'm pregnant. I am pregnant with my first, I'm having a boy, I'm due in September and, honestly, I am so excited and the happiest I've ever been Like. It's absolutely like such an elating feeling and I'm going to go into that today, because today's episode is all about my pregnancy journey, a bit of an update of where I've been because you're probably like where's Maria and her podcast episodes? Why isn't she showing up? Like where's Maria and her podcast episodes? Why isn't she showing up?
Speaker 1:And, to be honest, the first trimester I was not energetic or motivated at all, if I'm going to be frank, to be recording any episodes. I was so tired, I felt quite lethargic, but thankfully I wasn't too sick. I had moments of nausea where I just needed to lie straight and not move around, but the most annoying symptom I've had that I still kind of have, like it's not as bad but it's still lingering is indigestion, and it's really annoying because it also is making me not feel like eating all the food, and I love my food. So this is really hard for me to not be, not be excited to be eating food. So I'm just like, yeah, eating, quite like plainly, I'm like when are the cravings gonna kick in? When is the extra appetite gonna kick in? Because I'm, as I'm recording this, I am 19 weeks and yeah, I just I've just been kind of eating normally as I normally would, but be more bland, not as adventurous, staying away from spices, staying away from red sauces and things like that.
Speaker 1:So anyway, let's take you back to the whole journey, which which is what I will be sharing about today. So I've always wanted to become a mum, but I'm not going to lie that I have had moments in my early to mid twenties where I did question it. I did question whether I wanted to become a mum. I did question whether I wanted to become a mum, what that would look like in terms of my career. I had some fear around, I guess, the lack of autonomy you get when you become a parent, how your life changes when you become a parent, and I had to actually work through a lot of this stuff and I had to actually work through a lot of this stuff. So it actually has been a journey for me to get to this point. You know, on the mental level, because I'm someone that is super driven and have always, you know, put my career first and maybe some of you can relate to this and as a woman as well that is wanting to have children, it can feel like a big decision and it is a big decision, to be honest, because you're bringing life into the world. But it can feel overwhelming and sometimes also like isolating in terms of whether yeah, whether it's going to impede in your life and career and all of that kind of stuff. But yeah, I've definitely worked through all of that over the years.
Speaker 1:And so last year, george and I got married in March and I knew that I wanted to have children with him. We both have had those discussions beforehand and once we got married, it's so fascinating and I don't know if it's also, you know, moving into, I guess, my prime baby, making years as well, but I really did feel this primal urge and readiness to have a child, like actually really started yearning for it. And it's quite fascinating because before that it was more of a, I guess, logical and mental conversation I was having with myself like, oh, am I ready? I don't know when is the right time, and it was more that kind of dialogue I was having internally. So once we got married and I went into well, I was in my early 30s and still am, because it was only last year I, yeah, just felt this kind of knowing in my body that, yeah, this is exactly what I want to do, I want to have a child. So, yeah, that's where the journey began.
Speaker 1:So George and I we didn't start trying straight away, but we both made the decision together that, yeah, within like the next year, we would love to have a kid. And then the trying to conceive journey began and no one tells you what it's like and how much of a process it is and how isolating it can also feel For any of you that are listening, that are on your trying to conceive journey or any of you that may be facing some fertility issues. I fully witness you and I see you and I have this I don't know newfound respect and I don't know what the word I think respect in terms of how much energy you it takes to create a baby essentially and for some people it's quick. They ask the first go, they can save, which is amazing, and I had a lot of evidence in my circle around me that conception doesn't take too long. So when we started trying, I also thought, oh yeah, it will happen quickly. You know, like I had this plan and it's going to happen this time and it will all work out perfectly, and someone that is organised and planned out and I like to know when things are going to happen.
Speaker 1:It was then disheartening when each month, it just wasn't happening. It wasn't happening, it wasn't happening and I was like what is going on Like, why isn't this happening when I want it to happen? And it really was a humbling experience of just pushing me to surrender to the process, learning to trust my body, knowing that I was doing everything possible to work on my body to be able to create this safe space for a baby to come in. And that's what it was all about. So I did a lot of work with my acupuncturist, so I did a lot of acupuncture leading up to conception. I also was very mindful of what I was eating, so I was making sure I was getting in good amounts of protein, good amounts of fat. Wasn't drinking, yeah, like I was making sure I was getting in, you know, good amounts of protein, good amounts of fat. Wasn't drinking, yeah, like I was really looking after, I guess, my health and making sure that everything was quote unquote, perfect to ensure that I created this space, and also doing a lot of mindset work around it as well, like that trust and that believing that it will happen too.
Speaker 1:So we ended up conceiving after seven months of trying, which is incredible, and I feel so grateful because, looking back now, I know that it's actually normal and it takes a lot of couples a year, and some even more, to conceive and to have fallen pregnant under that year mark. I was actually in disbelief because when you are going through it and at the time when you are going through it, it does feel like forever. It really does Like every single time that you do the pregnancy test and it comes off as negative. Yeah, it's just that waiting process. It is excruciating when you want something so bad and the thing is like you still have to show up for work, you have to show up for life and try and be the best version of yourself. But sometimes, yeah, honestly, it was hard and like the longer we got down the track, honestly, the harder it was for me to feel positive and to be my bubbly self and to feel like motivated and all of that kind of stuff, because it just felt like I was losing hope. So I just, yeah, like that journey in itself has really given me that appreciation for the time that it just, yeah, it does take to create a baby and it just gave me this newfound appreciation and also sensitivity around other people that are on their trying to conceive journey. Not that I've ever been that type, never been the type really to go to someone oh, when are you gonna have a baby? Or? I've never asked direct questions like that, because I've always been respectful of people's choices and where they're at in life. Yeah, for me it just made it even more. I was more aware of how difficult it would be for people that were struggling to conceive.
Speaker 1:The trying to conceive journey is a journey in and of itself, and when I found out I was pregnant, I found out I was pregnant early January, early to mid-Jan, and so I took a pregnancy test and, to be honest, because I had so many like every single test before that was negative I was like all right, whatever, I'm going to get another negative test. And yeah, I took a pregnancy test and it came up with two strong lines and I was actually in disbelief. I was so happy and elated, but I was at the same time, like no, like, no way, like how is this possible? As obviously I know how it's possible, but I was just in disbelief but also super, super excited and George was at work, so I couldn't tell him straight away and I wanted to tell him in person. I wanted it to be a special moment for us, and so I waited all day. I don't know how I didn't end up just calling him and telling him. But I ended up waiting and he came home. He actually came home late from work that day and I just wanted to tell him.
Speaker 1:So I packed up the pregnancy test in a little like it feels like a little gift box. I wrapped it up and when he came home I said to him oh, I got a present for you. You've been working so hard. I just want to, like you know, like cheer you up and got something for you kind of thing. And he believed me. It's like oh, cool, like awesome, thank you.
Speaker 1:And also like gift giving isn't actually our love language. Neither George or mine like. My love language is quality time. George's is words of affirmation and quality time as well. I was surprised that he actually believed me. Then I got him something. So, yeah, he opened it and he was in disbelief but so excited, but also so shocked, because before that, like we had stopped kind of like just talking about it constantly in terms of like when's it going to happen? We just like let go of like worrying about it constantly. So it was kind of, in a way, out of our mind, and so that's why he also felt really surprised and so excited. But yeah, this was before our birth. Actually, it was was mid-Jan, our birthday's end of Feb. So yeah, he's like this is the best early birthday present ever and so that's yeah, that's how I found out and how I told George about you know that we were pregnant and yeah, then the journey began.
Speaker 1:So I felt, yeah, as I was saying at the top of this episode, in terms of my initial symptoms. So, by the way for this is too TMI for some people, feel free to skip along, but in terms of my initial symptoms. So I had really sore boobs as like the first symptom the day I found out that I was pregnant. I felt nauseousous that day, but then after that it went away. Mostly I actually wasn't hungry, I didn't have like an appetite, I just felt like, yeah, essentially, like I would say, the biggest symptom was tiredness and also acid reflux.
Speaker 1:The indigestion kind of came in early, which for some people it doesn't until later on in the pregnancy. They say when their baby's growing hair. That's when it can come, but for me it was early and has kind of stuck around In terms of how I was managing work, especially like the first three months where, like I wasn't wanting to tell anyone other than family. So we told, we told our parents and siblings early because I wanted them to know, and everyone was so excited for us. It was, yeah, just so beautiful to share that news with our loved ones and just to be surrounded by, yeah, so much love and just happiness around us. So that was really beautiful and I'm really happy we did that. And then I actually started telling friends as I would catch up with them. So I did tell most of my friends before the 12 week mark because, again, I went into this kind of like you know, if something was to happen, knock on wood, I would love the support of my friends and family around me. I don't think we should go through life alone and through challenges alone. Yeah, I was so excited I started telling my friends in person as I started to catch up with them and that was really nice, just sharing in that exciting news with them.
Speaker 1:But in terms of work, I didn't say anything. Well, I did. Actually, I did tell my boss before the 12-week mark, but, yeah, so at the start I was tired but I could get through work, which was great. So in terms of my capacity, I had not much more capacity, to be honest, than a day's worth of work, and then after that I was literally falling asleep on the couch. And that's, if you know me, you'd know that I'm not someone that falls asleep on the couch unless I'm really, really sick. Like the last time I remember falling asleep on the couch was when I had COVID, like a few years ago, and that's when I was like really sick and that's when I would fall asleep on the couch. But I was literally I was watching Seinfeld and I would just fall asleep on the couch and then all I felt like I was doing honestly was just like sleeping, eating, working, sleeping, eating, working. And that's it I did.
Speaker 1:Actually, from the beginning I was, I was still working out and I still am working out. I'm going to go into, you know, the next part of my journey. So in the first trimester I was still working out. I do most exercises at home, so I do a mixture of Pilates weight training, but I do go and do group fitness classes in a gym once a week and I did tell my PT that I was pregnant, just so like she could tell me like what to, I guess, be mindful of and what to avoid. And, yeah, nothing really changed in terms of workout at all.
Speaker 1:The only thing I didn't really feel comfortable doing from the beginning was hip thrust with the barbell on like my lower pelvis. I just didn't, even though, like, at that point, the baby's like really small and there's no, it's still safe to do so, but I just didn't feel comfortable. So I was just listening to my body. Whatever I didn't feel comfortable doing, I just didn't do. Whatever I felt comfortable doing, I did. So, yeah, I'd still continue to work out four times a week and yeah, so that's pretty much the first trimester.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, I didn't have energy in terms of like recording this podcast. Like this podcast, I want to show up with full energy, I want to share things of value and like have that creativity, and I just didn't have that at the start. So that's why I did put a pause. I was really minimizing what I was doing in my business as well, so I was purely focusing on coaching my clients, showing up for them and doing some posting on LinkedIn and Instagram, but other than that, I wasn't doing too much else in my business because I really did have to scale back, and that's the thing that pregnancy has taught me, like really just scaling back to basics and doing what you can and resting when you feel tired, because pre-pregnant Marina was the type that even if I was tired, I would just push through, I'll just get things done.
Speaker 1:If I was tired, I would just push through, I'll just get things done. I'll try and cram as much things you know possible in my days to just get, you know, get shit done essentially. But pregnancy like, honestly, it's just taught me to rest because it pushes you, because I'm like you know what I'm tired. I literally am tired, I've got nothing left in me, so I need a rest. And also you have, you know, a little human that you need to worry about now, already in your belly, that you're growing and also with me. I like health is super, super important to me and I just want to make sure that I'm the best version of myself so that I can, you know, then, when I do have my child, that I then can be the best mother that I can be, you know, have the energy and be healthy and all of that kind of stuff. So, yeah, pregnancy has really just taught me to surrender, rest when I need to, and not like make myself feel guilty about it and not constantly feel like I have to be working, you know, on my business every single moment of the day.
Speaker 1:That was pretty much my first trimester. Then I started to get more energy back, which was good. So I'm now in my second trimester. So as I'm recording this, I'm 19 weeks. I probably started getting more energy.
Speaker 1:I would say like, yeah, after the 12 week mark I would say, oh, and something like that I want to share with you as well is just like the constant worry because this is the first time I'm pregnant, you know, you have this constant worry of I hope everything's okay and you just want, you know, every scan to go fine and you want everything to be in the all clear. And that's something that I always had in the back of my mind, that I just had to really manage to try and like I obviously acknowledge those feelings but, at the same time, like not let it take over my life either, because stressing about things is not going to solve anything and it's not going to make me show up as the best version of myself. So actually something that I really want to share with you guys. It was actually quite magical and quite beautiful.
Speaker 1:So I am a quite spiritual person. I do believe that things happen for a reason. I do believe in signs that are leading us to something, or things showing up in lives at the right time, so something that happened. So my spiritual animal is an owl. I don't know why. I just feel so connected to owls. I think that they're so majestic and beautiful and I've never seen an owl in real life. But it has come up in signs as in like might pop up on TV, in a movie or something, when I am like either going through something or need that reassurance that things are going to be okay. So that's something that I have gone through, but anyway.
Speaker 1:So I was again going back to talking about being worried in pregnancy and making sure that things are all good. I was just obviously worried before I did my NIPT blood test so that to check for chromosomal deficiencies such as Down syndrome, as well as like that does tell you the sex of the baby, but yeah, so George and I were worried about that, just naturally, like not that there's any reason why it should show up as positive like in our family, but it's just something that I don't know. It was the back of my mind. I was just hoping that everything's all good and it's all in all clear. So anyway, literally the night before I went to do the blood test, george and I we were at our friend's house that day and then we came back a bit later and we walked Cardi, our dog, a bit later than usual.
Speaker 1:So I think it was like I don't know nine o'clock or something, and oh my gosh, you're not gonna believe it. So we walked out of the door, out of our house, and we get out of the gate, we turn right to start walking and George is like is that an owl on the street sign? And I'm like, what are you talking about? Like what do you mean? It's an owl, like. I then look up, because I was looking down, I wasn't even looking up. I looked up, there was an owl staring at us like an owl, like a pretty owl, like one of those like harry potter, pretty owls. Yeah, it was crazy. I could not believe it, because we're literally there staring at one another.
Speaker 1:So our staring at us are staring at the owl for about probably, like it felt like maybe two minutes and it just didn't move, like we're just we're staring at each other. It was the most magical experience of my life. I just could not, I could not believe it. And then it flew away. Because it's like I feel like it gave us, you know, that sign that things are going to be okay. And then, you know, it delivered that message and it flew away the whole walk. I was like to George and we're both actually saying to each other, like did that just happen? What the hell? Like what is going on? That is crazy. And it was just such perfect timing and it just made me feel. It really made me feel at peace and just confident that things were going to be okay. And we actually have cameras at the front of our house. So later, like we eventually we checked the footage and what was incredible because we checked the footage back and the owl had actually flown onto the street sign literally like a minute before we walked out of the house, so it's like it was just sitting there the whole time. We flew onto the street sign on the corner of our house a minute before we walked out. It saw us, we saw it. And then, if little, I mean, come on, if that's not a universal sign, then I don't know what is but that was just incredible and I had to. I just have to share that with you guys just to always be just mindful and knowing that you are being looked after, even in times of uncertainty. So that was really beautiful.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, let's now move on to so second trimester. I started getting more energy, probably like after 12, actually, no, the 12th week, marco. Yeah, actually after I would say, 13, 14 weeks, I started to get more energy, more zest back into my life, more creativity, and now it's just increased even more. So so that feels really good. Like I feel like energetically, emotionally, everything, like I feel really really good.
Speaker 1:I still have a little bit of indigestion here, and then it's not as strong, it's more manageable, so it's not too bad. I'm just mindful to have smaller portions of food just more regularly, because I feel like that sits better with me rather than having big meals. But unfortunately I still just don't have a huge appetite. Like I'm eating, because I do get hungry and obviously I need to fuel myself, but yeah, I'm just not craving anything. I'm not like excited about food, I'm just eating because I have to eat. So I'm pretty sad about that. So I'm hoping that that does improve. But otherwise, yeah, still working out, still feeling really strong, if anything like I just feel honestly I feel the most empowered and confident in my body than I ever have in my entire life.
Speaker 1:I'm someone that like, just like a lot of women, have felt certain seasons of my life like uncomfortable in my own body, feeling like I'm not, whether if it's like toned enough or like thin enough or whatever, like we've all gone through a lot of body image issues that I have definitely not been immune to that either, and I don't know. It's just like being pregnant and just really appreciating the body for what it actually does, like the fact that I'm growing a human, which is incredible and it just blows my mind every single day. But not only that, it's just like I just feel really beautiful in my own skin. I feel so empowered. I feel, yeah, just amazing in my own body and just it feels like so nice to feel that way and I don't think I could ever pinpoint a time before this where I felt truly, truly, truly comfortable and empowered in my body. So that's been a really beautiful surprise and insight that I've had since being pregnant, because I don't know before that I was kind of worried before falling pregnant. I was like, oh, like how's my body gonna look, it's gonna change, and like I just had this like really worried type of mindset and approach to it. But now I don't know, I just think it's the most beautiful thing and I feel I feel really, really great in my own skin, which is just such a nice feeling, such a nice feeling. I love it.
Speaker 1:And so, yeah, generally, that is, I would say, the update of first and the start of second trimester, and I want to continue to share my journey with you because I mean and I did like to be honest I was thinking, oh, do I share my journey about, you know, going through pregnancy or do I not? I was thinking about it quite deeply, but I decided to share that. I wanted to share my journey because it's such a huge change in my life and it's something that I just I don't want to hide or pretend like is not happening, because it is and also it does impact. Like I run a coaching business, so obviously I need to be open about how that affects. Like when is my last intake of clients, by the way, which is the 18th of June? So if you are wanting to work with me in my program the Unbound Lawyer, then now is the time. So, just yeah, reach out via DMs in LinkedIn or Instagram. Let me know that you're interested. We can chat more about that. But yeah, I just want to share because, as a woman, like, there is no doubt that falling pregnant does change things and you can't pretend that you're not and also work like how's work going to look like, and all of this kind of stuff. So I want to be sharing more about like how, and also work like how's work going to look like, and all of this kind of stuff. So I want to be sharing more about, like, how I'm navigating work and then how I navigate going into mat leave, how I'm navigating business. I want to share all of that stuff with you and I will be sharing more of that with you. But today I just wanted it to be more of a little like pregnancy update type of episode.
Speaker 1:So you know where I've been the last few months that I haven't recorded this podcast and I have, yeah, just so many exciting things happening in June. So June's going to be a big month. I've got a couple of speaking engagements. One is the Thomson Reuters Next Gen Lawyers Summit, so I'll be running a workshop there all about designing your career. I'll be running a workshop there all about designing your career, so I'll share more information about that on socials as we get closer to the day. And I've been also asked to speak at my old uni, victoria University, at one of their student events. So, like, yeah, there's so many cool things happening like that. I've been interviewing incredible people for the podcast, so keep an ear out for those awesome episodes coming. And one is with a past client of mine who is such an incredible woman doing very cool things in the fashion space. So keep an ear out for that.
Speaker 1:And if you have any questions or if you want me to share anything about whether it's pregnancy, journey, work, business mindset, anything really just reach out to me. I am so open to answering all the questions and providing you with lots of value. You know things that you might be able to take out and apply in your own career. I'm so happy and more than happy to share that, so please do reach out to me on LinkedIn or Instagram or just email me at hello at mariadukacom. So I'll leave it there for now.
Speaker 1:It was so nice to get back on the mic and just share everything pretty much because I feel like I was hiding for the first three months. I'm not sharing anything, and it felt weird actually, because I like sharing about where I am at in life. But hope you have a beautiful rest of the week and I can't wait to be back in your ears next week with another episode of the career confidence podcast. Bye for now. Thanks for tuning into the career confidence podcast like what you learned today. Why not share this episode with your work, bestie, and leave us a five-star review on wherever you listen to your podcast on? We'd absolutely love to get into more ears and help more women just like you, build fulfilling and thriving careers. Until next time,
