The Career Confidence Podcast
The Career Confidence Podcast
76. Preparing for Maternity Leave and Motherhood
In this solo episode, I share my journey as I prepare for maternity leave and the upcoming transition into motherhood. As I embrace this new chapter, I discuss how I've balanced my legal career, business, and self-care, while also preparing for labour and postpartum life.
You'll hear about my tips for a seamless work handover, the importance of embracing rest, and the steps I'm taking to prepare both mentally and physically for childbirth. I also dive into my thoughts on navigating the unknowns of motherhood, the support systems I've put in place, and how I'm embracing the dual roles of being a driven professional and a first-time mom.
This episode is packed with insights on surrendering control, the power of community, and the importance of taking things one step at a time. Whether you're a soon-to-be mum, thinking about starting a family, or just interested in how I'm navigating this exciting time, there's something here for you.
Resources Mentioned:
- Move With Mama Physio app for prenatal and postpartum exercises
- Insight Timer app for daily meditation
Tune into this episode today.
Connect with the host:
Website: https://marijaduka.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marija-duka/
Instagram: @marija.duka
Email: hello@marijaduka.com
Click HERE to sign up to the free 3 mindset shifting e-lessons.
Welcome to the Career Confidence Podcast, the podcast for driven lawyers wanting to step out of the traditional path and build fulfilling and purposeful careers. I'm your host, maria Dukar, legal counsel and career coach, helping you navigate your career with intention and confidence. In this podcast, we don't shy away from having real conversations about topics that matter to us. Driven AF go-getters From manifesting your dream career, negotiating the salary you deserve, creating your personal brand, knowing when it's time to pivot. We cover these topics and so much more. You ready, let's dive into today's episode. Hey there, it feels like it has been a long time since I have sat down and recorded a solo episode, but now that I am on mat leave officially, I have the space to sit down and have a good chat with you all. I was actually going to do this episode as a Q&A episode, but I thought you know what, for this season of my life and stepping into that feminine energy, as I'm about to give birth in about four weeks time, I feel like more of a wrap-up episode is more fitting to let you know what I've been up to, how I prepared for mat leave, how I'm preparing for labour and how I'm navigating the unknown of becoming a first-time mum. I feel like the community has asked me a lot of questions around navigating this new territory and I feel like you will get a lot more from this episode by me. Yeah, just talking freely about what I've been up to and all of that. So, as I'm recording this episode, I am 36 weeks. I am four weeks away from my due date. I hope that he comes on time.
Speaker 1:I'm definitely feeling quite heavy. My pelvic girdle pain is uncomfortable. I'm doing all of my Pilates exercise, so I'm still keeping quite active every day, making sure I'm moving, and it does make me feel better to move, because if I just say stay stagnant, it's, yeah, not good for me, my mental health or my body. But, yeah, going for walks is a little bit harder. If you have had pelvic girdle pain before in your pregnancy, you'll know how uncomfortable it is. So I'm taking shorter walks rather than longer walks, and so that's where I'm at with that.
Speaker 1:So I finished up from work last week and I've timed my mat leave both from work as a lawyer. So, as you all know, I balance both having a business and my legal job, and I also finished up with my clients in my business as well last week. So now, essentially, I'm doing some tidying up behind the scenes stuff, admin stuff for my business, and then essentially, I'm going to switch off in the last three or so weeks before my due date to just go into full nesting mode. I'm really craving that space. I'm wanting to organize his nursery, I'm wanting to clean the house and also I am definitely taking time for myself and self-care. I think that's a huge priority. A lot of my friends that have had kids already have told me to make sure that I do take that time for myself as well. So I'm listening to their wise words and, yeah, I've booked in a facial, a massage, I'm getting my hair done, I'm going to get my nails done as well and, yeah, just ensuring that I just rest, put my feet up and just relax without the guilt as well.
Speaker 1:I know that a lot of you listening are driven women hence why you're listening to this type of podcast and obviously have a connection with myself, because I also am very driven and I tend to just want to always be achieving and being productive and all of that. So for me, being pregnant has really taught me to just surrender, to let go of that control, that need to always be productive and be okay, to just rest, and especially now, as I'm heading into motherhood a territory that is unknown to me because it's the first time I'm going into it, the best thing I can possibly do is to surrender into that, because there's so many things, yeah, you just can't control in relation to how all of that looks like. All you can do is navigate as best as you can. So, yeah, I'm really just, I guess, coming into my own and stepping into that really feminine energy of not feeling like I always have to be doing something and to, yeah, just let go and just allow myself this deep space of rest, because you know what, I won't get this time back ever again, so I'll make the most of it for sure. So I just wanted to walk you through first, because I had a few questions from the community around, like preparing for mat leave and how I did that in terms of handover, and I'd really like love to share my experience with you all because, honestly, it was such a like seamless and easy experience both for me and both for my colleague, that I handed my work over to. If you know me well, you know that I'm very organized and I love preparing myself and I love preparing other people as well. You know, for things I don't like being last minute and I don't ever want to overwhelm anyone with information overload and all of that.
Speaker 1:So, as you know, in terms of my legal career, primarily my role has been to look after a particular client. So essentially, I had, you know, an in-house type of role within a law firm and we hired, at the perfect time, my replacement, who, yeah, just slotted in so well. But in preparation for her coming on board, I put together two lists. So one I put together a matter handover list, so specific matters that she would need to continue on with and look after, which is something that standard. We all do that, especially when we go on holidays and all of that, but something that I thought I would do particular to my role, as it is quite unique and a lot of in-house people listening to this episode will resonate with this.
Speaker 1:You know there's a lot of processes that involve it's not just handovering a matter but it's teaching someone. Your processes that have helped you streamline certain parts of managing that client, right, you streamline certain parts of managing that client, right. So, yeah, essentially I put together different areas that I worked on with that client and the processes so that she could literally just take that system and implement it and not feel like she had to learn from scratch and learn the client while she's also learning the processes. I had it all written down there on that list so that she could, yeah, just essentially plug in and go, and that would mean a seamless transfer of client from myself to my colleague, which, you know, I always want to ensure that clients are looked after and that they didn't feel that transition too much either. So, yeah, I put together those two lists, which were really, really helpful for my colleague. She said that it was very clear and much easier for her to just take all of that on board and run with it.
Speaker 1:And another thing is I then took her through each aspect of that client's business over the time that we had together, so we had about five to six weeks together. I was very mindful of not overloading her with too much information all in one day, so I split up essentially like mini training sessions with her and taking her through some nuances as well. Right, because every single client is different, they operate differently, there's different personalities and things like that, so I would, yeah, brief her on all different aspects so that she felt very prepared in taking that client on board. And then, essentially the last three weeks, I let her just run the show, and that's something that I think it's really important for us lawyers to do. I know we love to have control over everything and no shade right. Like we, we like to manage matters ourselves and just get it done and all of that.
Speaker 1:But honestly, like I, any handover that you do whether if it's going on holidays, whether you're leaving a place or going on mat leave you really need to just let go and trust the other person that they are skilled and equipped to take things on, you know, and it doesn't say anything about you. And that's where ego needs to be left at the door. And I think that's what makes a really good leader in being able to hand over properly and allowing that other person to thrive. And I feel like that skill set for me has really come from my coaching business in that you know, when I coach my clients, you're guiding them, you're supporting them, you're not micromanaging them. So, yeah, I think that was a really key skill to just see my colleague gain that confidence in being able to take over this client and run with it herself, and I was in the background and I was always there to answer any questions and there to support her, but I just let her take control and lead the show and I think it was really good way for me to introduce her to the client and for the client to get to know her without me being at the forefront anymore. I was more in the background. So I feel like that really helped and for me it was so much easier transition for my colleagues and easy transition because then the last three weeks I could just wrap things up and, yeah, leave on a positive note.
Speaker 1:And for me, if you've been pregnant before, you know that towards the end of your final trimester, like you're getting more tired, you need to rest more your mental capacity reduces as well in terms of what you can take on board. So, yeah, I felt like it was really like a really well managed process and it was because, yeah, I had prepared things in advance. So, like being organized, organized, being prepared in advance really helps to then make everything so much more seamless. So I really wanted to share that experience with you because I feel like a lot of you will get a lot out of that and you can take things that you resonated with and apply it to your own handover process so that things could be more seamless for you, for your clients and for your colleagues as well. So, yeah, that was that, and in terms of what else I want to talk to you is preparing for labor. That's another whole thing that you need to do the work to prepare for it. Right, there's not much control that you have over every aspect of it, but I feel like you can do so much in preparing your body and mind for that process.
Speaker 1:I've never gone through labor before. Obviously, this is the first time I am becoming a mum. I'm wanting to go into labor with an open mind. I also have an intention to have an unmedicated, natural labor. That is my goal and that is something that I really am striving towards. However, I'm also open-minded in terms of knowing that, in the moment when it's happening, I need to surrender to the process and have the birth that I need to have right and navigate through whatever is coming up at that point in time. And that's the thing. I think that's a life lesson that we can all take in that life gets challenging and you literally cannot plan for every single aspect of your life and every challenge that comes up for you, but you can best prepare and have an intentional plan up for you. But you can best prepare and have an intentional plan. But I think the strength comes from being able to pivot and be agile in circumstances that are tricky and challenging.
Speaker 1:So, in terms of how I'm preparing for labor, I feel like preparation for me began well even, you know, when we were trying to conceive. Being, you know, your most healthy self and working on your body and your mind is the best thing that you can do for yourself. So I, throughout my pregnancy, have felt, you know, physically really good and essentially I was working out at the gym and with weights up until six months, so I was able to do that. And then, after six months, I started experiencing pelvic girdle pain. So I was able to do that, and then, after six months, I started experiencing pelvic girdle pain. So I really kind of took a step back from the intensity of, you know, of working out and working out with weights was significantly reduced and what I then started to do is more just focus on prenatal Pilates. And that's been a game changer for me, because I have just been allowing my body to still strengthen and to work on my pelvic floor muscles and to work on my overall strength through Pilates, and I use this really, really good app. It's called Move With Mama Physio. I'll link it to the show notes. It's really really great and it has like postpartum exercises as well that I'm planning to do too, and it has other exercises too, as in like, you don't have to be pregnant to do those exercises. I think Pilates is fantastic. That's something that I do.
Speaker 1:I've been meditating every day. I use the Insight Timer app, which is free. So I use the Insight Timer app, which is free, so it's a free version of that and I've been really loving this particular meditation. It's called Rise and Shine Meditation by Sari, and it's just been a really good way for me to start the day on that positive note, letting go of any anxieties or thoughts or feelings and just allowing myself to just breathe right and to come into my own body. So, in terms of like my routine yeah, I get up, I have a cup of tea, I do my meditation, I do Pilates every day, do some stretches and then I take my dog for a walk. What else I've been doing in terms of labor so lately, obviously, now that I'm getting towards the end of labor, drinking, you know, the raspberry leaf tea, having two dates a day, that kind of stuff, and I'm just more mindful of my posture and the way I'm sitting. Now it's really important for, yeah, me to be really mindful of that, to ensure that the baby is in the perfect position for him to come out and hopefully for me to have a more seamless labor and then less of a complicated labor. And, yeah, essentially that, and I've been going for, yeah, walks, yeah, with, as well, very slow walks, taking slow steps. And yeah, to be honest, I'm a very upfront kind of person.
Speaker 1:I have had moments of anxiety don't get me wrong like when you're navigating something that's new, that you've never done before. Like I have had thoughts like how's, you know, my career going to look like, how's my business going to look like, how's my business going to look like, how's my life going to look like post baby, like all of these things that we kind of get into, that wanting to control the future mode. But I've sat with those thoughts and, you know, thankfully I also have a lot of amazing friends that are incredibly supportive, that have had kids themselves, that have, yeah, just shown me time and time again that you really can be the parent that you want and you can also have the life that you want and career that you want it. Just, you know it takes some work and intention and it requires support, you know, from your partner as well. But it is all achievable and all doable.
Speaker 1:And I think what I've also like when I have had those anxieties come up, I think allowing myself to first like to feel them and not ignore them has been good, because I just let them kind of flow through me but then I don't let them control me anymore and I also just let go saying well, you know, I literally cannot control every single aspect of my life. I'm going to take it one step at a time. That's why, to be honest, I haven't set any particular you know, and specific dates in terms of when I'll be back and working in my business. I've always said to myself I'm not going to put any pressure on that, I'm just going to step into motherhood, you know, have the baby work out each other's. You know he has to work me out, I have to work him out, you know, and just enjoy that love and that newborn phase because you don't get that again and just really lean into motherhood without that guilt of always feeling like you have to be working and achieving and striving, like there's a season for everything in life.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, like if, for example, after three months, I'm ready to get back into working my business and taking on clients and that's the beauty of having your own business you can take on as many clients as you want. You can take one client if you're ready just for one client, or you can take 10 if you're ready for 10 clients. So I am just going to ease into all of that and you know, if it's after three months that I feel like, okay, I'm ready to go, like I have a really good routine. You know roughly know what my schedule looks like day to day, then I'll take, yeah, clients on board then and I'll definitely keep you all posted as well on what that looks like. But if you do have inquiries on wanting to work with me, just send me an email at hello, at Maria Duca, so M-A-R-I-J-A-D-U-K-Acom, and I'll add you to my email list and keep you posted on when I will be seeing clients again.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, whether that's three months or six months, I'm not putting any timeframe and I think that's really important, because at the start I started to do that I was like, okay, right, you know I'm going to go on mat leave, I'm going to take three months off, and I was like, oh, but I don't. I don't know how I'm going to feel, like this is the first time for me and I don't want to feel like I have be working, if you know, in that season I don't feel like doing that and all I want to do is just spend time with my baby, like that's okay too. So, yeah, essentially what is helping is not setting any timeframes, deadlines for myself, and just navigating it one step at a time. Something that is really important to me, that I'm very mindful and intentional about, is to feel supported post labor. So I've had very open, honest conversations with my husband, who is incredible and the most supportive person ever, but having just open conversations around like okay, like what duties we both have post-baby, and I said to him I'm going to be feeding the baby, obviously, only I can do that. He can't do that. I want to breastfeed and in terms of what he can do to support me and reduce my mental load is to do the housework stuff essentially. And he's like, yeah, of course, like, of course, I'm going to step up and do all of that kind of stuff. So, yeah, and I also have incredible support and family around me. My mum is, I'm sure, going to be over at my house every single day, you know, supporting me and bringing me food. I have incredible sisters-in-laws. I've got incredible friends. Like, yeah, I really am, and I do feel very supported and also, with that being said, I am very much open to that support too.
Speaker 1:And I'm not going into this thinking that I can do it alone, because we're not meant to do it too. And I'm not going into this thinking that I can do it alone because we're not meant to do it alone. And if I am struggling and need the support, I'm definitely going to reach out to my loved ones and say that I'm struggling and I need their help. You know, even if it's just for a chat or you know just like, come over, bring me coffee or something, you know, whatever it may be, like I do feel super secure in my relationships, in my life, that I'm able to just openly, yeah, reach out to my loved ones and tell them that I need the help, and for me to be receptive of that. I think that's really important.
Speaker 1:I think if we shut ourselves off and don't reach out for the support or the help when we really do need it, that's when we start to, yeah, really isolate ourselves, and other issues come up with that too. So I don't want to be in that space at all. I don't want to go through this on my own and I'm very, very intentional and open about that, because I don't want to struggle alone and parenting comes with its own challenges, and so I feel like it's better done in community than thinking that I can do it all on my own. So, yeah, they're just some thoughts, feelings and intentions that I have that I wanted to share with you. It might help you if you're currently, you know, in the same season of your life as me, or if you're thinking about having a family and what that support may look like for you. I think it's important to think about that support network before you actually have the baby.
Speaker 1:And yeah, honestly, I'm more excited than anything Like yes, of course. And yeah, honestly, I'm more excited than anything Like yes, of course, I have some nervousness around labor. I have nervousness around postpartum. That's natural. It's because I haven't experienced it before. But mostly my feeling is excitement and I just can't wait to meet my baby boy and for me to become a mom and experience this life-changing event in my life. And I literally like when I have my baby, like I'm literally going to change, you know, completely as a person, like your whole life changes, and I'm so ready and excited for that.
Speaker 1:I know that it's going to be challenging, but I'm so open to the challenges as well and I know that my husband and I will navigate it as a really strong unit, as a really strong team. And I know that my husband and I will navigate it as a really strong unit, as a really strong team, and I know that I have the support around me. And I'm also excited for what my business will look like post baby too. I feel like it will give me even more greater perspective and having this time now, before he comes, and even when he comes too, like having some space in between, I feel like it's just going to bring on this newfound inspiration and ideas flowing through me and I'm really excited to welcome all of that, and I do believe that you can have both. You can be an incredible mother and you can also be ambitious, you know, and chase your goals and be a career woman. And it just takes being intentional and having that support around you and being open to receive that support. And, yeah, I just I'm excited to see what's awaiting me on the other side of becoming a mother.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I thought that I would share all of this with you guys because I just I haven't done one of these wrap-up episodes in a while and I thought you know what. This is the perfect time to do one. You know, as I'm heading into this new season of my life, this is the last episode for a while. You probably won't hear from me for a while. I'm not putting again any timeline or pressure on myself as to when I will record my next episode. It could be in three months time or it could be in six months time.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to really enjoy this next season of my life being a mother, being in the newborn bubble, being there for my son, without any restrictions or limitations on that. And, yeah, otherwise, you can follow me on Instagram, unless you already do. But yeah, if you do follow me on Instagram, you'll see behind the scenes and I'll share cute photos and videos of my son once he's born and other mother things and business things as well, and just keep up to date with where I'm at. If you don't follow me on Instagram, it's at mariaduca, so M-A-R-I-J-A dot D-U-K-A. Otherwise, if you want to be added to my email list to find out essentially when I'll be taking on new clients, you can just email me at hello at mariadukacom and let me know that you'd like to be added to my email list. I'll add you and I'll keep you posted on when I have the capacity to take on new clients, which I also can't wait to get back into doing that type of work.
Speaker 1:But for now, I am deeply embedded in the mother season and I'm excited for that journey ahead. But yes, I'll chat to you all very soon. I hope you're all doing well, sending you lots of love and blessings and, yeah, chat to you soon. Bye. Thanks for tuning into the Career Confidence Podcast. Like what you learned today. Why not share this episode with your work, bestie, and leave us a five-star review on? Wherever you listen to your podcasts on, we'd absolutely love to get into more ears and help more women, just like you build fulfilling and thriving careers. Until next time.
