Level Up Leadership

Leadership is Lonely

May 27, 2022 Kate Peardon Episode 5
Level Up Leadership
Leadership is Lonely
Show Notes Transcript

In today's episode, I'm going to share with you the number one thing people talk to me about in their one-on-one coaching. This is leaders, this is small business owners this is people that are CEOs of big businesses.  When you get to this point of leadership, when you were in charge of your business and people - It's lonely. 

Leadership is lonely. When you're responsible for people and business you lose that feeling of having peers it's people that you can talk to. That help you realize that you're not alone and remind you that what you're going through is normal. I find that people are so caught up in their business and how things are working, they forget that human connection part, because it's no longer okay to just have a conversation with someone and share what's going on. Because they could be relying on you for the security of their job or the psychological safety or when your boss tells you what's going on, you might not feel so comfortable. 

So how do you overcome that as a leader of a business?

In this episode I talk about two ways to get a community around you, by joining a mastermind or by getting a coach.

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 In today's episode, I'm going to share with you the number one thing people talk to me about in their one-on-one coaching. This is leaders, this is small business owners this is people that are CEOs of big businesses. You know they have so many different things that are going on and different challenges and different things they are excited about. But there is one common theme that keeps coming up over and over. I think it's kind of surprising when you haven't been in this position. The common thing that comes up throughout this for everybody. Is that when you get to this point of leadership, when you were in charge of your business and people. 

It's lonely. 

Leadership is lonely. When you're responsible for people and business you lose that feeling of having peers it's people that you can talk to. That help you realize that you're not alone and remind you that what you're going through is normal. I find that people are so caught up in their business and how things are working, they forget that human connection part, because it's no longer okay to just have a conversation with someone and share what's going on. Because they could be relying on you for the security of their job or the psychological safety or when your boss tells you what's going on, you might not feel so comfortable. 

So how do you overcome that as a leader of a business? 

And it's something that I think everybody needs to learn some point of their career. Is that you don't have to do it by yourself. You do not have to do things solo. Sometimes it's hard to think other people might be able to understand. . But the best thing is, is to find yourself a community. Or a place where you can talk to people that do understand. 

So a couple of options as a leader that you. You can look at to not feel as lonely. Are these two that I suggest the first one is find a community, whether that's a community of business owners or other leaders, which could be in your industry or completely different industries. And the reason I say completely different is it might surprise you that leadership is the same no matter what industry you work in. And I can tell you that because I have worked across all industries. It's always coming back to people. People have a certain way of working, in thinking, it's human nature. So leadership has a similarity in all industries. 

So have a look at finding yourself a community. It could be something that you find online. It could be something that is already organized or you might pull together a few people that, you know, maybe it's on LinkedIn. To say, "Hey, let's catch up for dinner once a month or get a coffee and let's have a chat about what's going on in our businesses". 

You can also ask for an, agreement of confidentiality to be signed if that's something that you think would help you feel comfortable to talk to these people. The second way is to find yourself a coach. Some people prefer more one-on-one conversations. Others prefer a group of people. 

So the thing about having a coach is you have that opportunity to talk about what's going on for you in business. And that coach is likely to have worked with a number of other people in similar situations and can help sort of keep you on track of what's going on, if that happens with other people and sort of normalizing a little bit. And when you normalize things, it makes you feel more comfortable and confident to step forward in the direction that you're wanting to head. As opposed to making some decisions out of fear. 

 I have both of these things. I have a community that I meet with regularly. And I also have a coach. I get different things out of these two areas, but they're both equally important. To me. Um, the decision of joining a group was one of my favorites, particularly when you work mostly by yourself. 

Just having that comradery and understanding of what you're going through is really important. I didn't find it as much when I worked within a business as a leader. So something to keep in mind there too. 

When leaders, CEOs or small business owners have worked with me on a one-on-one basis. We look at okay, where are you at? At where do you want to go? We do leadership profiling and we look at accountability on helping you get to your goals. One. One of the great things about this leadership profiling is it helps to give you a vision of actually what your behaviors are and how they playing out. The great thing about this is sometimes we have these blind spots that we can't see. And particularly if we don't have peers or people around us that might give us the truth. Particularly when you are the leader of the business. You find people are less and less likely to tell you the truth. 

Uh, it can help give you some context of where you are in your leadership and where could be some opportunities for growth. So in these one-on-one settings, we talk about strategy education and accountability. And these three really help with your leadership. Because often with leadership people don't know what to do. No one teaches leadership. So there's an education piece of, Hey, this is how you can go about being a great leader. There's a strategy. Okay. This is where you are. This is where you want to go. How can we help you move towards that? And the third piece is accountability. The other thing is when you're the leader, or you have your own business. Often you are in that position because there is the faith that you will follow through and everything that you need to do. But sometimes having a bit of accountability to make sure that you do, is helpful. So they're the three areas that I would work with someone on one-on-one coaching. 

What can you take from this episode -one, get a community of people around you. Whether that is creating your own with some people that you've reached out to on LinkedIn or some friends or some people you might've known from a university days. And catch up, whether that's once a month, once every two months and build that network of people around you that you can feel that you can be supported. If you are the leader, this is even more important because it's a very lonely job. Uh, you can also look at a formal community group to be able to build those connections for you. As you can imagine for me I outsourced that, and I got community that was already created. And the other thing you can take from this session is, uh, whether. That's getting yourself a coach or a mentor, but someone perhaps you can have those one-on-one conversations with. 

I always recommend that a mentor is a great idea. And from my experience, when you ask someone it's most likely, they'll say yes. And with a mentor, make sure you're clear on what you want to get from that mentoring relationship. It's a little bit different than a coach. A coach is there to help you move forward and help get blocks out of the way. A mentor can be talking more about from their own experience. With a mentor be clear on what you want from them in a time sense and also from their knowledge. So in a time, whether that's meeting monthly or fortnightly, whether it's a coffee or online. And what sort of information that you would like to have from them, whether it's you want to talk through what you're doing, whether you want some ideas on where you can get further in your career. 

So there you go there's a tips for today. Leadership is lonely. So make sure you have a community or a coach or mentor that can help you realize that what you're going through is really normal because at the end of the day, we're all people and we're all working with people. 

If you enjoy today's episode and I thinking about getting a coach, I always recommend speaking to a few different people to make sure you find the right fit for you. It's important to get a fit that you have a connection with your coach, but also that they have some skills and experience that align for you. 

This is not necessarily the technical skills in your industry. It is a skills of a coach that is certified, a lot of people could call themselves coaches, but that doesn't mean that they have the ethical or certifications that come with being a coach. If you were interested in working with me, I do offer three month one-on-one coaching agreements and we meet once a fortnight. We start with understanding your goals. We look at the strategy, education and accountability, which section of there you might want more support in. 

We do your leadership profile and then we map out a plan for those three months working on your specific goals. If it is something that interests you, you can jump on the show notes to find the link, and that will send you straight to the website. I hope you enjoyed today's episode.