Diaries of a Domme + Questions Answered, by Chastity Queen
Unlocking Erotic Horizons - The Journey of Sexual Self-Discovery and Acceptance
Feb 05, 2024Season 3Episode 7
Chastity Queen
When I first penned my candid reflections of men and kink on FetLife back in 2016, it was as if I'd unlocked a secret—a place where the complexities of fetish exploration and the thrill of BDSM dynamics accelerate and are illuminated. Throughout this episode, I peel back the layers of joining kink communities, from those initial tentative steps to finding joy and acceptance in one's own unique predilections. Whether you've felt the transformative power of embracing your kinks or grappled with the double life that erotic desires can sometimes impose, our conversation is set to resonate deeply with your own experiences.
At the end of the day, we're all just seeking to add a little extra sparkle to our own personal diamond.
When I first penned my candid reflections of men and kink on FetLife back in 2016, it was as if I'd unlocked a secret—a place where the complexities of fetish exploration and the thrill of BDSM dynamics accelerate and are illuminated. Throughout this episode, I peel back the layers of joining kink communities, from those initial tentative steps to finding joy and acceptance in one's own unique predilections. Whether you've felt the transformative power of embracing your kinks or grappled with the double life that erotic desires can sometimes impose, our conversation is set to resonate deeply with your own experiences.
At the end of the day, we're all just seeking to add a little extra sparkle to our own personal diamond.
Thank you for tuning in to Diaries of a Dom, plus questions answered with me, chastity Queen. Before I begin, be sure to look on my podcast for my social media links and affiliate discounts. By all means take full advantage of those discounts Locked in. Lust has a site-wide discount using my promo code, chastity Queen, so definitely enjoy that discount and get your kinks on.
Speaker 1:
Today I want to talk about something that I actually discussed in 2016 in a writing on FetLife, and if you don't know what FetLife is, fetlife is a community where you can join. It's free to join and you can go on there and join the different groups and meet new people, check out people's profiles and read some kinky writings. It's very informative and enjoyable and quite anonymous. If you want to remain as such, you don't need to post a photo, and that's beautiful. If you want to just sort of dive in and look and see what it's all about, and then, once you become more comfortable or go to a local munch, maybe even branching out, it's always nerve-wracking going to your first munch. It was for me because I didn't know what to expect and if you don't know what a munch is, it's basically an event, a meeting, like a meetup group where you go in regular street clothes and you say, go to a restaurant or a pub and you go over to that table grouping and you sit down and you introduce yourself. It's a networking for kinky people and nothing's expected. You can go in, you don't have to give your name if you don't feel comfortable, but you can get to know your local kinky group, people who are into fetishes, people who just want to maybe find a partner or partners or they want to add to their poly-partner situation or dynamic, and otherwise you can just go there and enjoy a beer or something to eat and just have a nice little chat with some different folks. And you can have a nice little chat with a group of people in your community and it's very private, so give that a shot. But in FetLife you can do writings, you can journal, you can discuss topics and I wrote something in 2016.
Speaker 1:
It was December 5th and I don't know if all of you know this yet and you probably do, but some of you may not yet that not only am I a chastity queen, I enjoy chastity fetish and being a femme-dame, I enjoy having slaves and all of the like, but I'm also a mummy-dome and so if you're on FetLife, you can go to my mummy profile. I decided to do a separate profile for my mummy FetLife profile because it is definitely separate from my chastity side and that doesn't mean that the two cannot intermingle. I've got lots of friends on my mummy account that are also on my chastity queen account. So if you go to FetLife, I'm under mummy underscore Celeste C E L E S T E and If you go to my Chastity account, it's Chastity-Queen. So by all means, send me a friend request. Let's be friends. I'm not on there regularly. Maybe, you know, a couple times a week. I'll check in. So if you respond to a photo, you make a comment on a photo, you send me an email and I don't reply quickly. Please don't feel as if I'm ignoring you, because I'm probably just not online at that point.
Speaker 1:
I am really focused on different areas as well in my life, so I'm spread kind of thin at the moment, but I will definitely check my fat life. I enjoy it. It's where the community really comes together and it makes me happy. So I wanted to read you one of my writings from 2016. It is quite interesting. It had been a while since I went back and reviewed this, but I've gotten a few comments on it recently and I think it's something that's very important to share, not only with ABs, because it is a writing on my adult baby diaper loving account, my mommy Celeste account, but it does relate to anybody within the exploration process, the kink process, the realization that you might have a fetish process and how to handle that. So I want to read that to you now.
Speaker 1:
The title is curiosity, obsession, craving guilt, diapers, panties and mummy mistress. Your eyes and your curiosity were what opened that drawer or cabinet or bought that package of diapers without realizing it was to become a pivotal moment and a part of your inner being. When you built up the courage to remove that pair of satin or lace panties or that fresh diaper from its place and you pull it up your legs and over your genitals, it would instantly become your private obsession. It was born and, like any growth, there would be a joy and also growing pains. You remember that moment and if you haven't considered when that obsession began, I ask that you do. That moment is what would create that obsession that began with a simple object and an explosive moment in time. That object, when it touched your skin, turned you on so intensely that you had to release yourself sexually. It became irresistible and finding the private moments to indulge was like a fever. Mummy mistress knows because she can see those moments with each person she talks to. She realizes the taboo nature of what you did, but the electricity that you felt when you allowed yourself to do it. You ignored your fears for that moment and it not only exhilarated you but the cry of fear sang out too.
Speaker 1:
Being open-minded is what brings us closer to our erotic self. I truly believe this. It can also scare the shit out of us If we are a man in putting on panties or nylons or dressing completely, as something that society does not recognize in us becomes a vehicle of our pleasure. It can be something we want to push away. Our vanilla persona defiantly resists. Many of the men I meet are alpha males, people-pleasers and carry on as providers and the strong man that nobody would expect would wear panties or diapers. There are two opposite spectrums that collide and clash and cause multiple binging and purging events all of the fetish items destroyed or thrown away for it, only to eventually come back stronger and harder. More money spent to relive that lust, repeating and repeating and causing extreme confusion and angst.
Speaker 1:
Look at things through a mummy mistress's eyes. What I see is a person who carries a higher intelligence. I see a man who can tap into the recesses of femininity or baby or little space and grab tight and hit the highest peaks of passion. It does not mean that other man does not exist. It does not mean you are still not strong. It means this you are stronger Because you allow yourself the time and space to travel and explore a new side of your mind. You reject the atypical norms and fears because you have the realization that it is only one facet. We are all diamonds with many facets. To throw out one facet means you throw out the whole diamond. I beg you to hold on to what makes you whole. So that is what I wrote in 2016, and I feel very strongly still about that now in 2024.
Speaker 1:
It's not changed and I've met so many men since that moment when I wrote that in the same exact position. You know they lead a life of strength and courage and they are providers. Maybe they are the alpha man in a relationship, and yet they cannot understand why putting on a pair of panties or wearing a chastity cage or putting on a diaper opens them up, excites them. And with diapers, of course, you know there's a stigma. There's definitely a stigma. But I just wanted to say to all of you, because I've dealt with a lot of men that have felt ashamed of this particular fetish you are a sensation player.
Speaker 1:
The sensation of the diaper, the sensation of letting go say, for example, you urinate in the diaper it's not about something that is inappropriate. You're in your private space, you're an adult and you are experiencing the feeling of letting go of your bodily function, for example, and it goes into the diaper, so you're not gonna make a mess anywhere. You put on a diaper. That's logic. That's complete and utter logic. And if you like to play in diapers, for example, maybe the vibrator on the diaper creates a sensation it's a sensation play. And when it comes to role play, if you're an AB and you enjoy that side of diapers and you like to role play, it's about giving in, it is about feeling submissive, it's about tapping into innocence and a place where there is nothing to worry about. There are no big decisions that have to be made. With a mother figure, a mummy dom like me, I can pull that, I can draw that out of you and I can take charge and for some wearing a diaper is humiliating, but that is part of the fetish.
Speaker 1:
It's a fetish, it's a kink, humiliation, kink. Maybe if you pee in your diaper it's embarrassing and that turns you on. So there are many. As I talked about a diamond, there are many facets to any kink and each one of us as individuals are not singular. We have different sides, 100%. We have our side when we are going to work, our serious side, our technical side Maybe we are in charge our managerial side. And when we want to relax, we have our recreational side. And then, going further, when we're relaxing, we have our sexual side. We are all sexual beings and different things turn different people on. For some it might be straight penetrative sex. They enjoy it, it makes them feel comfortable and that's their thing and that is a wonderful thing. For others, there can be many dimensions to how they play and it's an evolution.
Speaker 1:
As we grow into ourselves, from adulthood into our later years, we begin to realize that certain things turn us on and certain things turn us off. And for some people a diaper would turn them off. They don't want to be humiliated. They don't really give a crap about sensation play. They're more into role play and maybe they enjoy being the patient of a nurse, or they enjoy being the nurse who has a patient. Maybe one is a cop and one is the perpetrator All sorts of different scenarios and that's something that we play within our bedrooms, in privacy, wherever that might be, and it's exciting, it's fun. It's not something we need to share with the world. Hey, by the way, I might be a physician, but I like to go home and pretend I'm an adult baby, or I like wearing women's clothing because it turns me on. I mean, it's not something we broadcast on the six o'clock news, it's just not. So why be ashamed of something that's private? And I think that the minute you find a partner that accepts you, who respects your hard limits but who accepts your kinks, you have found absolute gold. Really you have.
Speaker 1:
And unfortunately, some of us get married and we join in matrimony to a vanilla situation and as time goes forward, we realize that our partner is not open-minded and they are not willing to do certain things and they have hard limits and they don't match up with your kink, and that makes life very difficult for those who have certain things that turn them on, and so there are many men on this planet that are in a very vanilla situation and in their private time, in their solo private time, they're putting on their partner's lingerie or clothing or whatever the case might be, and they're playing alone and they're feeling alone in their kink. And I just want to tell all of you who might be in that situation right now Because I know there are many you're not alone. First of all, you're not the only one. There's probably Thousands that are just like you, that are Getting their fix, getting their fetish fix on their own. I want to tell you that, from the perspective of a female dominant who Knows about pretty much every kink in the book, I Accept you and no, you're not strange, you're not weird, you're not a freak, you know. Unless you think those things are kind of kinky and you like to be called a freak, then great. But in general, no, you are quite Exceptional in that you will go to those places in your mind and you can, when you're finished, and you, you get your fix, you have your orgasm. Whatever the case might be, I don't want you to fall into the shame space Immediately after and that happens to a lot of men Right, they engage in their kink.
Speaker 1:
Or, for example, they would come see me, they would engage in their kink and I always said to them you know, I'm not gonna let you come until the very end of the session. And the reason I said that is first of all because I know that it just stops that kink that they have whipped up in their mind, where their pupils are dilated and they feel like they're on a high because they're chasing after that kink. Fix, that fetish fix. Once they come. Then mr man comes back, you know, and he's like what the fuck did you just do? You fucking Freak right? You say it to yourself. It's like oh my god, I can't believe I just did this by mistress. I think I need to go now.
Speaker 1:
And so I Tried to instill in these men that you know the first step is You're coming to decompress, and there's no shame in how you you did it, how you achieve that orgasm. There's not. It's quite simple. You need to decompress and this is how you like to decompress, and everybody's style, everybody's taste is different and One taste isn't weirder than the other. I'm just gonna tell you that right now you can have a, I guess, general kink, maybe A DS kind of situation where for a few minutes or for an hour you are controlled by a woman and You'll do it because you think that's just basic BDSM, so you don't feel too much shame. But it can go crazy. It doesn't matter if you're into diapers or or you're a submissive. It Can get just as freaky if you need it to be. I Don't know if I'm explaining this correctly, but one kink isn't worse than the other. You can't sit there and kink, shame somebody else and yet have your own kink Right. Oh well, I'll do this, but I won't do that. You just don't know.
Speaker 1:
When you're in a situation where you are ramped up sexually, maybe your hard limit starts to become a soft limit. You test out that kink in particular, maybe sock sniffing. You know, and you realize holy crap, I like this. And you always thought people that sniff socks were freaks, right, weird. And now you're doing it and you're like oh my god, I can't believe I'm doing this, this isn't me. Well, what makes it so bad? Honestly, it's just a sock, it's just a smelly sock, that's all it is. It's not gonna kill you, certainly not.
Speaker 1:
So you know from a Dom who sees many men in different scenarios, shame is about the worst thing you can adopt as an individual, because the minute you start to feel ashamed of what you just did, it ruins the fun completely. So I just say you know what? Go into it step by step. Find somebody who's open-minded and you can trust, and Then you will be able to open up. And when you open up and you realize this is just a method to achieve ecstasy, how is that bad? It's not bad, it's fantastic.
Speaker 1:
So keep that kinky side alive, whether you do it alone or with a partner, or you broach the subject with your partner. If they come to you and say that's a little freaky, then you can just say look, I just want to experiment. Might be a little bit of fun. Let's give it a whirl. If it's not fun, it's not fun, we won't do it. Broach the subject because there are so many marriages that are currently stale and both partners are unhappy and many don't have sex for months, if not years, and that's just not a way to live.
Speaker 1:
And if you fell in love with that person from the outset and you married them or you became partners with them, or you moved in with them and everything was great for a period of time, but it's lagging. Now go back to the drawing table and say let's excite this, let's make this better. What can we do? What can we throw into the mix to just ramp it up, and you might be surprised at the result. So that's my advice for you today. I hope you enjoyed my writing. I still feel the same way. All of us are diamonds with many different facets, and we should never throw out one piece of that beautiful hole which is us. And you can add extra facets too, oh yes. So thank you for listening. Have a wonderful day. Bye for now.
