Diaries of a Domme + Questions Answered, by Chastity Queen
Strap yourself in for lots of kinky and open dialogue from a Woman who has experience with Pro-Domming and the BDSM Lifestyle. Her live-in chaste sissy sub joins in on some of the open discussions involving kink, chastity, BDSM and what it means to be a good Domme and sub.
Are you are drawn to BDSM & wondered why? Do the dynamics in a D/s relationship, intrigue you? Do you feel the submissive cravings, but cannot express that in your current relationship, or as a single person? Or, are you a female dominant and want to explore that powerful side of yourself? Does the concept of control & mental power exchange, wet your intellectual interest? Maybe you are currently in the BDSM scene and fighting to find joy. Do you have a D/s relationship but need to understand how to successfully satisfy your partner? I have the answers and many stories to share.
It is high time that I share My enriching journey, as a proud Female Dominant. I have been a Lifestyle Domme, for 10+ years & have met 100s of submissives. These, have served Me, looked up to Me & TAUGHT ME so many things about the human mind & its willingness to obey. In those thrilling years, I have learnt the delicate balance between a submissive mind and his/her body and the role I play. My knowledge + personal stories are rich with secrets, for submissives & Dommes.
I specialize in chastity, Femdom, crossdressers, humiliation play, emasculation and have experience in ABDL/DL, E-stimulation, urethral sounds, the mind games that make a Sadist so powerful and the vast Dungeon tools + tricks, that make up a High Protocol, BDSM Dungeon. Consent & physical safety will be discussed. The psychological and mental health aspects of BDSM will be discussed.
BDSM scratches so many mental itches & there are always reasons for those cravings. There will be cautionary tales, that you can learn from. There will also be much to realize, from the beauty that overflows, within the BDSM Community.
I will take your hand in Mine & we will navigate through the problems, questions & curiosities. Even if your day-to-day is vanilla, you deserve to explore your desires.
Maybe you want to understand someone who lives in the BDSM world or unearth your own curiosity? When you harness your creativity & mental release in the bedroom, you will succeed in many other areas of your life. This is discussed, in Napoleon Hill’s book “Think and Grow Rich”. In Chapter 11, “The Mystery of Sex Transmutation” he says, “The road to genius consists of the development, control, and use of sex, love, and romance. “ Yes, this info-gem, is in a “get rich” book!
If you do not have a Mentor, Goddess, Domme or Queen, you have found One now! Let Me be your Teacher, disciplinarian, mentor and queen! If you learn anything from My stories and knowledge, know that what I say, is about loving yourself and that you can do anything. My purpose is to take the misunderstanding OUT of BDSM and those who enjoy fetishes that others may not understand. I want submissives and Dommes, to succeed with ease and pleasure.
BDSM is becoming more mainstream. People are realizing their sexual potential, beyond simple sex. Power Exchange in relationships is such a satisfying way to engage. Any variety of D/s relationships can provide stimulation that surpasses Society's idea of how it should look or be. You will learn with Me, as I take you through the journeys of the mind and soul of the submissives that I control/led and what methods I use, to become the best Domme, that I can be.
There is no limit, to success. As I said, in the beginning, if you can harness your creativity and mental release in the bedroom, you will succeed in many other areas of your life. Enjoy and rate the episodes, if you have a moment. Sincerely, Chastity Queen "Chastity is freedom!"
Chastity Queen xoxo
Diaries of a Domme + Questions Answered, by Chastity Queen
Beyond the Dungeon: How Your Lifestyle Choices Impact Your D/s Relationship
The most profound power exchange doesn't happen during scenes—it unfolds in daily life choices. Chastity Queen delivers a thought-provoking exploration of what separates casual play partners from truly dedicated submissives: the willingness to transform your lifestyle for service.
Drawing from Her experience managing slaves both long-distance and in-person, she reveals how the management of diet, exercise, substance use, and mental health forms the foundation of meaningful D/s relationships. Rather than viewing these expectations as restrictive, She frames lifestyle management as the ultimate expression of devotion. After all, "you don't bring roadkill to an altar to burn"—you bring your very best self.
The episode tackles controversial topics head-on, particularly the dangers of combining substances with play. With unflinching clarity, Chastity Queen explains why She monitors Her slaves' alcohol consumption and prohibits substances during sessions. Safety concerns aside, She argues that a submissive who requires "medication" to enjoy service fundamentally misunderstands the nature of submission.
What makes this perspective so compelling is Her balanced approach. While She holds submissives to high standards, She equally demands excellence from Herself and other dominants. This reciprocal commitment to growth creates relationships where both parties continuously elevate each other. For those currently seeking a dominant, Her advice is transformative: begin the work of self-improvement now, as it will make you infinitely more attractive to potential dominants.
Ready to transform your approach to submission? Listen now to discover how becoming your best self creates the foundation for profound power exchange.
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Thank you so much for tuning in to Diaries of a Dom, plus questions answered with me. Chastity Queen, I'd like to think you're having a wonderful day, and even more so now that you're listening. I want to talk about something that I think is very important in a DS and before I do, of course, look at my links here on my podcast for all of my affiliate discounts. One in particular, locked in Lust, has many options for chastity. Linkedin Lust has many options for chastity, sissy undergarments and lots of fun sex toys. So go on there. Use promo code CHASTITYQUEEN, which is all caps, all one word, for your 15% off stackable discount. You can also look at my link tree backward slash chastityqueen. You can also look at my link tree backward slash chastityqueen. So today I'd like to talk about something that I think is very integral to a healthy DS.
Speaker 1:You know I have a lot of different fetishists who serve me, who follow me, who are fans, and there's something that's very instrumental in your success as a submissive or a slave to not only me, but to any other dom that you may be interested in partnering up with in your own environment, your own community. In your own environment, your own community. I know everybody can't be my slave, depending on the location that you're in. I know I do have many long distance slaves and it works out beautifully. We have a great interaction and we are able to visually see each other, so you can still have a lot of fun doing that. But what I want to really talk about in particular is how I interact with my slaves in regards to lifestyle and behaviors in your day to day. I like to do a lot of different things when it comes to controlling a slave, a submissive do a lot of different things when it comes to controlling a slave, a submissive, but something that I find extremely important is to manage your health, your habits, what you do on your spare time, how much you drink, for example, how often you exercise, the things that you put into your body. You know food wise. Do you do drugs? I know some of my slaves enjoy marijuana and many do not. It's something that is quite common, of course, but you know, as a dom, I think it's something that is quite common, of course, but you know, as a dom, I think it's very, very important to not only engage in the fetish portion of that ds, but it's also important to evaluate the overall well-being of your slave, and that is something that I find very crucial in my management of a slave or sub, and I do this quite often in various ways.
Speaker 1:I manage people physically. I will tell them that they have to go to the gym. You know a certain number of days or how many miles to run, or you know, on the treadmill how often you should go to the gym I to live my lifestyle in a healthy manner. So you know, these things are very important to me. These things are very important to me, and it's not just about the control Really it's not. It's about making you the best slave, sub man that you can be.
Speaker 1:Now, you know, I do have some slaves that are trans. So, woman, you know, the best woman that you can be, or they them. You know, that's really sort of not even part of this conversation. It's more so about if you're my slave. I want you to be the best that you can be for yourself and that will roll over into your servitude to me. And ultimately, you want to be the best slave or sub for me, don't you, of course? Who wouldn't?
Speaker 1:So I can talk about some of the things that I manage in some of my slaves' lives and I can talk also about your search, your own personal search for a dom. Okay, you might be listening and you might be thinking, you know, I wish I could be Chastity Queen's slave and, hey, by all means reach out, we can chat. But in general you may be having challenges in finding somebody and maybe I'm not in particular. You know the specific dom that you have eyes for, or maybe you want somebody that lives a little closer to you. Totally respect that. Maybe you want somebody that lives a little closer to you, totally respect that.
Speaker 1:I want to say that if you better yourself as a man, as an individual okay, you better yourself physically, mentally, recreationally you will see how you can find Doms a lot quicker. You know, as a Dom and knowing other Doms, we have very high standards, expectations for those who serve us and for me in particular. I can say this when I see somebody who's willing to alter their lifestyle, for me that is impressive, that makes me want to focus in on them a little bit. And maybe you come to me or you come to a dom in good health, in a good headspace, etc. And that's wonderful. But in my experience I find that there are many men who approach me, slaves, individuals who approach me who are finding that they are falling into certain habits because of loneliness, because of a feeling of emptiness, depression, a hole inside of them that exists because they don't have that DS that they dream of. And you know, I really want all of you and all that listen to know that it is possible to find somebody. It can happen, it will happen.
Speaker 1:But you must first look within yourself. And when you start to look within and make some alterations, some adjustments, and hey, looking within can be a real slap in the face. Sometimes you don't want to, many times you don't want to assess your drinking habits, your smoking habits, your eating habits, your exercise habits if they are not good. It's hard to look in that mirror. But I guarantee you, when you go and you approach a dom, she is going to hold that mirror up in front of your face. If she's a good dom, she will hold that mirror up in front of your face. If she's a good dom, she will hold the mirror up in front of your face and make you look and make you assess. So why not do it before you have that opportunity? You know, start the process and, honestly, how can it hurt you Really? How can it hurt your life? It absolutely cannot and will not hurt you to improve upon the things that you maybe are lacking or need to adjust within your own day-to-day routine.
Speaker 1:So let me talk a little bit about what I expect from some of my slaves in particular. As a dom, when I meet somebody, I do a lot of things regarding, you know, assessment, and a lot of the assessment is in listening and observation. So I will listen to an individual talking, I will ask specific questions. I don't fool around, I don't beat around the bush. There's no point. I express how I live my life and I will share that with you too here in this episode. Share that with you too, here in this episode. But I observe, not just on the first interaction, introduction, every single time, and any woman, any femdom who is like me or is intent on a purpose of having top-of-the-line slaves will do the same thing, exactly so.
Speaker 1:For example, I have one slave in particular who enjoys alcohol, and I've had a few like that who have enjoyed alcohol, maybe too much so. And with alcohol it can be cultural, you know. It can be habitual, habitual, it can be an expectation of, maybe your job. Maybe there's a lot of you know dinners and expectations and toasts, and maybe you have a job where your colleagues will go out after work and drinking is just part of the package. You go to a bar and you drink together and you carry on. That is something that I will take note of. Not only that, but I will take note of, when I go out to dinner with somebody, how much they're drinking and I always say before I meet with somebody that I'm not a drinker and I'm not a smoker and I don't do drugs. That's just right off the bat, and I often get a response saying you know, I drink a bit, I don't smoke and I don't do drugs. Usually that's the common response. Usually that's the common response.
Speaker 1:But the reality is some people do not understand what excessive drinking means in a DS and for me it's something that says to me they are not at the top of their potential for servitude. There are a lot of reasons. I mean the logical reason is, when you are inebriated or you are somewhat dumped down with alcohol, you're slower, you're not as equipped to make wise decisions and in a dungeon setting there are many dungeons where you know and I'm talking about event dungeons where you have big parties and you have a lot of people there, and you walk into that dungeon, there's usually a dungeon master, dungeon monitors, and they will tell you you know that certain things are not allowed, tell you you know that certain things are not allowed Even before you come to the party. No-transcript. And why is that? Well, I mean, obviously it's safety.
Speaker 1:If your dom gets into the dungeon setting, whether it be private or at an event, and she was drunk or she was smoking pot, or if she was on a drug of some sort, whether it be an upper or a downer, how can you fully trust the safety involved in that interaction? You can't. She can't control how she swings to the maximum ability of a person who is sober, who is unimpeded by alcohol or drugs. You know, being in a dungeon setting is much like driving. You need to have your wits about you and as a dom, I take that very seriously. I expect a lot of myself. I would never go and begin an impact session or any kind of DS session under the influence. It's just a big red flag. No-no, I'm going to explain why. You might think, well, maybe a little pot would be good because it would relax a person and they wouldn't be so nervous. Or some other drug or a glass of wine or you know a shot of vodka or something, they'd be more relaxed.
Speaker 1:The biggest problem is that when you you are working on a person under you that really doesn't gather the depth of how something feels, because they're intoxicated, they could take hits that really they shouldn't be taking on impact. They won't stop Adam because they're not really all there, are they? They're not fully present in the moment. And how can you present yourself as a slave to Adam if you are not fully present and open to her and giving your all to her? That's what I expect of my slaves. That's what I expect of my slaves. That's what I want. Now, does that always happen?
Speaker 1:I can honestly say that in the past I've had some slaves that maybe are chronic masturbators. In the past I've had some slaves come to my dungeon that are chronic pot smokers and I can have them stop smoking in the house when I do a session. But it's very hard to navigate or monitor what they're doing before they get there. I've had some slaves come in asking if they could do poppers during the session, asking if they could do poppers during the session and I would say, no, of course I can't be present or I can't have respect for a slave who needs to be medicated to enjoy a session with me. Medicated to enjoy a session with me? It's illogical, really it's illogical. I've had others that just do not have any concept of control when it comes to alcohol. I know it's a problem in general, you know, whether it be in vanilla life or in swinger life or in BDSM, some people just do not know how to manage their alcohol and for me it's a problem. I would stop a session like that if they couldn't manage themselves. Ideally, I would rather them not drink because if anything happens, you know their blood is thinner and I cut them. Or they pass out on the cross, or they pass out in a rope scene, or they pass out when I have them mummified, or they don't know when to say stop when I'm doing urethral sounding because they're too relaxed. They think they can take it. That puts me in a very bad position. It puts the queen in a bad position. Your dom, whoever's in charge, she is responsible for your body.
Speaker 1:It's very important that not only in the dungeon environment, this is monitored and managed and addressed. But you have to prove yourself outside of that environment Every single day, and this is what I expect from my slaves. I want them healthy. I want them eating well. I have changed people's diets based upon their health. Maybe their cholesterol is higher. I research and I tell them get to the doctor, get it checked. You're going to start to exercise? You're going to start to cut out all of that red meat? Switch it for chicken. Eat more vegetables, stop with the sugar, and a slave who wants to serve me will make the adjustments accordingly.
Speaker 1:And that is proof. That is proof that a slave wants to serve me and they want to become a better person, not just in the dungeon, not just in the dungeon, not just in a scene, but in life for me, you see, that's the ultimate control for me Is knowing that I have slaves that care about their day to day, and when they come to see me, we get together. They give me their best, they are their best. If not better, they become better. That's how a good femdom leads. My purpose is to make you a better person. I want you to be happy, I want you to be healthy and I want you to serve for a very long time If you're not healthy or happy. How can that happen? It can't, and I cannot accept a long-term slave who does not make adjustments to their life.
Speaker 1:You know, I have one right now and I've had some concerns and maybe I am a little strict, I will admit, but I am monitoring and managing his daily intake of alcohol. I need to know how many drinks, what events are coming up, where drinking might happen, and then I put my foot down and I say this is what you're allowed. You know, it's a very hard change for somebody who is in a habitual state of drinking, especially when it's cultural. When you've got a family that just drinks all the time, it's not even looked upon as unusual, it's just normal for them. But it's not normal for me and it's not good for a body to be taking in a lot of alcohol all of the time. Same goes for drugs, right, even including marijuana. I find that marijuana turns a person into half a tank instead of a full tank of gas. They're kind of zoned out, you know.
Speaker 1:And what I think is when I'm observing a person over a period of time and I've noticed a pattern or habits creeping in, I look at them and in my mind. I think why do I want to keep them on as my slave? Do I respect them as my slave? Do they represent me as a good slave? Do they even love themselves? You see, that's a big one. Hey, you might love to be degraded, put down. Maybe you feel insecure or you want to be called a loser, but this is a separate issue. Okay, your fetish is separate from this. I don't care what you identify as in your fetish, but if you're going to be a human toilet, a foot lover, a cuckold, a loser, you love humiliation, that's great, that's not a problem. But I want you to be the best person you can be outside of that, because you're going to bring your best.
Speaker 1:When you decide it's time to play, or you want to play or I want to play, and I make that decision, it's like bringing a sacrifice to the altar. You don't bring roadkill to an altar to burn, to an altar to burn. You bring the best of the best to the altar to burn. You know, in ancient days, when they used to burn offerings to gods. Well, I'm a goddess and I need the best of you to serve me, and this is why I have to put my foot down on certain things. You know, and I do, I put my foot down a lot, but the ones that really appreciate it are the ones that remain under my direction, and that is the key element here.
Speaker 1:If you want to serve me, be prepared to become the best version of yourself you have ever even thought of or dreamt of before. You didn't even know this existed. That's my role. When you become my property, you essentially are being controlled by me. Your body is mine, and if it is not at the maximum level that I need it to be, then I will get you there.
Speaker 1:But it takes a lot of hard work on your part, a lot of tasks, a lot of proof, you know, and with alcohol that's difficult. I mean, that could be a lifelong habit that is so challenging to adjust. But any slave that has wanted to serve me desperately has happily made the adjustments to please me, and ultimately that is what a good slave does. So you know, if you don't have a dom right now and you want a dom be the best version of yourself you can be in your search for her. I want you to start working on you. I want you to start reading up on the things that you could alter. I want you to start looking within yourself to see hmm, am I making excuses for myself so that I can enjoy maybe too much pot, too much drinking shitty food? No, you have to get yourself to the top-notch level so that you can go to her altar, lay yourself down there and she will accept you with gladness. And you might have some little bumps that need to get you know, sanded out by your dom, but it's all about the willingness to change, to improve.
Speaker 1:I'm not talking about changing your personality Not at all. That's what makes you unique but maybe there are certain aspects of your personality that need to be rectified. Are you short tempered? Are you impatient? Even depression? Are you feeling depressed? These things are important to address. So I just want to let you all know that I do a lot of things with slaves. I even look through cameras at some of my slaves. They have them set up in their homes so that I can monitor them, I can check on them. That's the level of control that I enjoy and that slaves are willing to give to me, and that's the ultimate sacrifice sacrificing your privacy, even for me. So you know, just as I with my habits, and that's something I need to talk about too quickly.
Speaker 1:I take care of my body. I've had some health challenges throughout my life, but there were ways to resolve that. You know my throat issue. I had to have surgery and that was pretty serious. And as far as drinking, I've never been a drinker. I will have a drink here and there, but not if I'm doing a session or, you know, if I think it's unsafe I will really reduce down to maybe a couple sips, but even that bothers me, so I do try to avoid that and in general I don't drink. Maybe every month I have two drinks maximum in one month.
Speaker 1:As far as eating healthy, I do eat healthy and I exercise and I think that as a dom, you need to set a good example for your slaves, and inspiration is quite crucial in that relationship. And if you can inspire your slaves to better themselves because you are slaves, to better themselves because you are, if you're always working to improve upon your behavior. You know I am constantly looking at ways to improve different things about me. As far as mentally, you know, being a sadist, you have to be very cautious.
Speaker 1:I am extremely empathetic and I believe that really does have a hand in the ethics that I feel are very, very important in the way that I manage my interactions with my slaves, actions with my slaves. But if you don't have that empathy, it's very easy to fall into a pattern of enjoying that rage, enjoying the pain play and not having a management over that. And so I do recommend, for some of the women who are maybe not, as you know, soft and plushy as I am and I'm not talking about my body is soft and plushy, but emotionally, you know, maybe they're more masculine I mean, I can connect with that a little bit. I do feel sometimes a little more masculine than feminine, feel sometimes a little more masculine than feminine, but I do have a deep seated empathy that runs through and that does give me that moment where I question okay, was that behavior good? Did I treat that slave right? Did I?
Speaker 1:Questions are so important. Ask yourself questions, you know. Hold the mirror up to yourself. I do that all the time. It's not an easy thing to do, but the more you do it, the more you get comfortable with looking in that mirror and saying, hey, what do I need to fix today? Or what do I need to alter today? How can I improve upon that scene. How can I improve on the interaction with my slave?
Speaker 1:You know, whatever the case may be, but if you're going to be in charge of somebody, you need to be respected, and when you respect yourself, it's easy for others to respect you too, and same goes for you, same goes for slaves. Respect your body. If you can, respect goes for slaves. Respect your body. If you can respect yourself, you can respect your dom and she will see that and you will be that diamond for her. And if you know you need to alter something, you need to adjust, you need to change a facet, and you do, wow, you can expect that your relationship will be long-term.
Speaker 1:I'm serious. If you are constantly looking to her for suggestions, constantly looking to her for suggestions, advice to improve upon something, she will see that humility, she will see that desire to be the best and, my God, she will give you all of the tools and options that you need and options that you need, and you can rise like a star in the sky, like a star in her eyes, and make her shine with your servitude, make her smile with your submission. What could be better? Nothing, nothing could be better. So thank you for listening. I hope that you take some advice and you maybe assess and address some things and be the best you can be. If for nobody, do it for me. Thank you so much for listening. Bye for now, thank you.