She On One Knee? My Knees Said No

Start with a laugh, stay for the sparks. We kick things off by celebrating simple wins—breathing, waking up, choosing gratitude—then carve into a sharper edge: the art of minding your business. Is it a discipline that protects your peace or a wall that blocks connection? Delena owns her curiosity without the gossip. CJ defends boundaries like a craft. That tension—knowing versus nosiness—sets the table for a bigger conversation about how we show up for ourselves and each other.

From there we pull back the curtain on CJ’s hospitality program, the culture that’s kept a barbershop beating like a second home. Hospitality is the glue: the way a room feels when people are truly welcomed, the rituals that turn strangers into regulars. We extend that vibe into the Thursday Night Society Raffle Exchange—yes, there are prizes, but the real win is access. Even a “losing” ticket becomes a key to a private mixer where ideas and people meet. It’s community by design, not accident.

Then comes the flashpoint: women proposing to men. Delena plants her flag—old-school on this one. CJ asks why equality shouldn’t include the proposal. We trade views on tradition, timing, and the quiet agreements couples make long before a public moment. That spirals into a deeper debate: do men benefit more from marriage? We weigh reported gains in health and stability against the cost of provision and the often-invisible load women carry at home and at work. Protection, provision, support, care, logistics—who holds what, and how do we call it fair?

No easy answers, just real ones. We poke holes in clichés, question our defaults, and invite you to test your own. If hospitality builds spaces people want to reenter, honesty builds unions people want to sustain. Listen, reflect, and tell us where you land: Should women propose? Are roles equal in serious relationships, or only equitable when defined by the people in them?

Enjoy the conversation? Follow, share with a friend who loves a good debate, and leave a quick review so more curious minds can find us. Then jump into the comments and make your case. We’re listening.

Transcript

Welcome Back And Vibes

SPEAKER_02 0:15

Okay. The fun the fun is about to has just begun. Welcome back to another episode of Let Us Become Sharper slash Thursday Night Society Podcast. I am here with the wonderful Delena.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Hello, hello.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

She's the best in the business. My name is CJ Let Us Become Sharper. So we want to we welcome you back to check us out again. We're we're very, very pleased to see that you've been watching us and paying attention to the show. Last podcast we did, we were talking about up front. Delena has some very, very insightful and stand by all of opinions about dating. She said that she's single. She says, I'm single. It does not matter. You don't need to know any details about who I'm dating or what I'm doing. I'm dating. I'm single. She put a lot of emphasis on that, and we we really been we really been getting a lot, even myself, we've been getting a lot of entertainment based on her opinions. She's just a wonderful person, a very, very strong, opinionated person. So we're coming back in with a with a new episode today. Getting into uh a fresh season, a new a new um set of podcasts to bring us up to the next level of where we're going with the show. I'm glad to uh have Delena here with me. How you doing, sweet?

SPEAKER_00 1:49

I'm doing fantastic today.

Gratitude And Mindset Check

The Art Of Minding Your Business

SPEAKER_02 1:52

You're doing fantastic today. I am why so? Why are you doing fantastic today? I'm breathing. Ah we need to look at it that way. I know sometimes I need to look at it that way. Like, you know, you went you breathing, you woke up this morning. These are the old things that people say that you tend to take for granted. Not uh not take for granted, but just not pay attention to. Like things can happen in your day, and then you you'll forget, like, you know, you woke up this morning, so that's you're my you you you become sharper, you made me become sharper with that, and I thank you for that. Yeah, so we're talking about we were talking about being up front, and then we came with another podcast, which is another beautiful show that we came, well-being or or romance. So we have we we've been rolling right along, as you can see, the intensity of the show has been building. I got an understanding. So I was coming into the show this evening. We have another topic that we're gonna cover, something very, very important to me. But I wanted to just let you know that I've become an artist, I've mastered the art form. And they say, well, CJ, you know, I got understanding as far as the show is concerned, as far as life is concerned, I got a little bit of understanding about the art form. It's a it's an art. If you even if you go down to the DIA and look at the art, look at the the pictures, you will understand that there are several art forms in life. And one of those art forms is the art of minding your business. Yes, it's a distinct skill and art form. Now, I didn't believe this when I was younger that it was actually an art form, but there's an art to it. You simply just mind your business and stay out of other people's business, stay out of other people's lives, stay out of, get your own business because a lot of the mishaps and a lot of the pitfalls that come in life come from people not minding their own business. It's an art form, it's a it's a mastery. I have mastered the art, the skill of minding my own business, and I'm very, very proud to have done so. I suggest that everybody out there studies and practices and works hard at mastering minding your own business. Do you not want to do you not want to mind your own business? Because I see no, you think I don't see you. I see that you do you want to mind your own business?

SPEAKER_00 4:51

You don't want to mind your business. So, this is the thing with me, and people have and people who know me know this. So, I am a nosy person, and I just like to know information. I don't need it to go telling this person and this person, this person. I just like to know stuff, but why? I don't know. I just like to know.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

You know, the people who know got to go.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

I know, and I know so much stuff, and people didn't trust me with telling me things, then I wouldn't know the stuff I know now. But why do you and they ain't never heard it repeat it if they told me? What is the desire of knowing? I don't know. I just I just like knowing, but why? I don't I have no idea. I don't I can't explain it to you. It's just like a like you know, they say curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Curiosity did a little bit more than that to the to the cat, torture, tortured the cat, tortured the cat, but satisfaction brought him back.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Yeah, but the cat got tortured. Why why would you go through that?

SPEAKER_00 5:55

It's just satisfying, just to know. That's it. Is that a but at the same time? I kind of do my my business at the I know it don't make it possible.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

It's possible if you might have been using other people and knowing other people's business, knowing other people, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

I don't go looking for it, but sometimes it comes looking for me, and I just don't shoo it away. It is an art form. I am not, I have not mastered it, and I doubt if I ever will.

Audience Growth And Community

CJ’s Hospitality Program Explained

SPEAKER_02 6:27

So today becoming sharper. I want to say this. The brutal honesty that we just heard from Delena actually deserves, you know, she deserves uh kudos for keeping it real, not just a grin or not just riding with going with the flow, right? She says she might not never matter. I've mastered the art form of minding my own business. I don't have to, I don't have to know. I really don't, I really don't care. I have enough, it takes it's it takes enough energy and time for me to to keep my own affairs in order. So I have mastered the art of minding my own business. It's an art form, it's a skill, and more people should try it. Mastering, don't be me. Yeah, no, minding your own business. So, man, we've been having a lot of fun on the show. We've been getting a ton of comments. Everybody's been chiming in. More people is beginning to grow, and I'm I'm definitely excited about that. I want to talk about the um the program. I always got to get with the program. The program is CJ's hospitality program. People are getting acclimated to the program Union Meets Beautiful Unison. It's definitely the going thing, the hottest thing. It's a new revolutionary business entity that I have put in place for people to have to take parts, to indulge in the hospitality aspect of said self-employment, the barbershop, my career. A lot of people, you know, you can't cut the world, right? But everybody can enjoy the hospitality program. The hospitality is the glue that has that has held my business together for years. You know, it's like home for so many, so many testimonies of people who have come in and just say, you know, this, I just love this place. I just love the energy. So I try to take it and put it into a format where everybody can enjoy. And that is CJ's hospitality program. We're also talking about Thursday Night Society, the Raffle Exchange. Thursday Night Society Raffle Exchange is the raffle that we put. The reason why it goes from Raffle, because it has the prizes, right? It has the we got the this week we have the Rose Vouve Clico champagne. I we already got that set. We got it, we got a giphy, and we got some cash too for the prizes for the uh the uh raffle exchange. But the exchange aspect of it is we have in a mixer. So if you don't win the big prizes, you you keep on you have you hold on to that ticket, and that ticket qualifies you for the Thursday Night Society mixer that we're doing at an uh undisclosed location. But the people who got the tickets will know, and it's it's gonna be it's gonna be fire. So we uh we have that all set up for you, and we also have this moving on with the show. We got our topic. So Delana, I thought about you earlier today, that's why I called. The topic is a little different tonight, a little unique, but I thought about you, and I was looking and I said, Yeah. Good or bad, we don't know. No, so that's well, yes, good. Okay, so we're gonna go for a two-part opinionated topic today. There has been there have been studies, case studies, on the fact of more women proposing to men, and they're saying that it's not a trend, it's a revolution. They're saying that it's a new world of women that are proposing to men versus the traditional format where a man proposes to a woman. Now the women are proposing on bended knee to the men. Now, Delena, what you think about that?

SPEAKER_00 10:33

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

What's crazy about it? I would never slow slow never slow slow slow.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

I don't say never.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

We got listeners, we got supporters, slow, slow, slow.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

Slow, slow.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

I would never do that.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Why not? I would never do that.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Why not? There are still parts of me that you know may be progressive, but that ain't part of me. That's the progressive part. That part of me is still the old-fashioned girl.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

So you're saying that you're old school?

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

So when some when some things absolutely so I guess in my mind, I'm thinking we live in a we live in a day and time where gender is kind of like not a big deal as it used to be. So I don't see the big deal of you dropping down on one knee and taking a ring and saying to a man, Will you marry me? I don't see, I guess I'm watching you cringe as I as we talk about this. She's actually sitting in front of me cringing. I can see you probably can't see it. She's cringing as I say this. This is really that unorthodox real.

Thursday Night Society Raffle Exchange

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Yes. So there have been studies on this also, that marriage actually benefits the man more than it does the woman. Statistics, these are statistics. You can you you you can you can look it up. Oh you can look it up. Y'all come out better. Why would I be the one to initiate that relationship?

SPEAKER_02 12:27

First of all, let's go.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

Not saying that I wouldn't like most of the time when people are before the proposal even happens, they've already had discussion about this.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

I see right now that this is this is going to be this this is gonna be a long night. This is not gonna go well. Delaney, what you talking about that we benefit more out of a marriage. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Men tend to be happier, men tend to advance in their careers more, men are taken care of more in the marriage, so you benefit more than I do.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

And what do you get out of marriage? Based on your statistics, based on your statistics. What does a woman get out of a marriage if we sit in there? What are you talking about? No one, no one listening has ever heard this. You have you have never heard this. I'm telling you, I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

I promise you, I'm telling you, look it up. Look it up. I'm not this is not something I just like heard out of left field.

Women Proposing To Men Debate

SPEAKER_01 13:26

Ever heard this? Wow, this does not that does not you have never heard this.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

No one has heard this.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

You have never heard this.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

No one has heard this, that a man benefits more out of a marriage than the woman does.

unknown 13:42

Look, I got my glasses on, I can't see.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

Conveniently, conveniently, trust me, conveniently. You ain't got your glasses, so you can't see. No way does a man benefit more out of a marriage than a woman.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

Please explain to me how a woman benefits more than what's a man's role in a marriage.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

I'm not even going to go there. I'm gonna I'm gonna define for you the roles. Okay, what is a man's role in a marriage slash very serious committed relationship? What's his role in your eyes?

SPEAKER_00 14:19

No, you said you were gonna define it.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

No, no, no, no. I'm defining, I'm asking you a question, a simple question. What's a man's role?

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Protect, provide, support.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

So, how could he possibly get more out of the marriage than than than you? Because in order you're getting protected, you're getting provided for, and in order for him to do all that, we do everything else. So you putting your so you're protecting yourself and you're providing for yourself. You're saying that you're the real power behind the protection and the provision and the providing. Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_00 14:53

Behind every good man is a what?

SPEAKER_02 14:55

Behind every good man is a I woman, behind every great man is a great woman. If you want to talk about the old soliloquies, no, we're not no, a man does not benefit more. There's no way, and it's no, it's not possible for a man to benefit more if he's protecting, providing, and what else you say, supporting, supporting, there's no way that you come out getting more when you're the protector, you're the provider, and you're the supporter.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

There's no way because you go out into the world and you do those things, right? But when you come out, and that's where you're and that's where and that's where the and that's a traditional marriage, and that's where a man's life ends.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

His life ends out there, he ain't never coming back home. Once you get out there and start protecting, providing, and supporting, you're gonna be doing that to the end of your life, and that's it. Ain't no ain't no sunny days for you no more.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

You think it's not really when you come home, and this is in a I will say a traditional, but there's no really traditional sense because everybody marriages are different because it depends on depends on what works for everybody, of course. But in a traditional sense, you're doing all that out in the world, you come home, and everything is at home is taken care of, including you when you get home.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

I'm not talking about today, yesterday, I'm talking about the end game at the end of the day. He's gonna be the one gone, he's gonna be the one tired, he's gonna be the one whole hair white, whole hair gray, hunched over to the side like this, because of providing there's no way that you can provide, protect, and support without laboring yourself.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

And what do you think the woman is doing at the same time? What is she doing at the same time? So what she's laboring too. That's the thing.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

So, what's the purpose of me doing it if we both are doing the same thing? Why would I tell you we go into the potload? I'm bringing the two, I'm doing it. I'm bringing the two in the casserole.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

It's different, it's different because you playing your role and I'm playing my. And what's a woman's role? Because the roles are different, don't mean that one is more important. You just benefit Delena.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

What's a woman's role in a marriage?

SPEAKER_00 17:15

The traditional traditional, you see me. My air quotes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

Come on, air quote. What's the traditional? What's a what's a woman's role?

SPEAKER_00 17:22

You take care of home, and what that means is, and I'm not saying dinner on the table every night.

SPEAKER_02 17:28

Just go ruffle feathers.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Oh, I know, I don't care. Dinner on the table every night. No, but you will make sure that he is taken care of. Like he has clean clothes, he has food to eat. When he's home, he is comfortable, and it's not a these things that you name it don't mean nothing. Ain't uh these things ain't chaotic, these things that you name it, peaceful when they're there.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

These things that you name it don't mean nothing. To you maybe they don't mean nothing, they don't mean nothing to nobody. If I was to give, if I was to give the world an option and say, listen, I'm gonna protect, provide, and support, and in return, you're gonna wash some clothes and slang a m- and slang a uh a mop, what do they call it, uh a Swiffer, and and fold some clothes, ain't nobody about to choose that. Nobody's about to sign up for that. Not nobody in their right mind.

Do Men Benefit More From Marriage?

SPEAKER_00 18:24

They do in their right minds because it's just it's more than just that. Y'all think, oh so I'm asking you to tell me what it is, and she supports you, she makes sure you're well. I thought I was important. It's a two that's a two-way street. I mean, come on now. Who who wouldn't be supportive of their mate? Okay, okay, so the support thing, what about the providing? I may be a part of the providing also, because hey, this may be this is a two-income household. Okay, so what about the what so we got providing just makes sense in this day and age to have a two-income household.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

I mean, I understand, but at the end of the day, what I'm saying to you is so you totally you totally abolishing the concept of a woman proposing to a man.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Yeah, I don't I don't agree with that, and that's my personal opinion. Yeah, no, that's what I want. I want your proof. I I I do not, I I would not.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

I agree with it. I agree with it. I don't mind seeing a woman drop down on one knee with a ring and saying to a man, Will you marry me? I don't mind seeing, I don't mind that, and I'm gonna tell you why I don't mind that. Please do because I feel I'm worth that. I'm feel I feel that men are not allowed to be above. Men are not allowed, we definitely not below. So we play the game for years, the same thing that a man can do, a woman can do. The equal, we play the equality game. So why can't we be equal on this? If we play the equality game, how can why can't we be equal on this?

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Every we can be equal, we cannot be equal on everything. That's that's just I'll I'll I'll I'll put it in a real real simple format when I say we can't be equal on everything.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

But who are you to pick it? But who are you to run through your filter what we can be equal on and what we cannot be equal over? See, it still has to go through your filtration.

SPEAKER_00 20:24

If we are doing performing the same job, I'm just saying this is workforce. If we are performing the same job, why do you deserve to get paid more than I do?

SPEAKER_02 20:33

Because I'm a man, that's the problem.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

So that's a that that right there is the equality part that we fight for.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

So, see how you just took it to finance in your example of something that would be significant. See how you just took it to finance because you're talking about something important, simple, but we talk, but okay, so we were talking about in the marriage, but now you're talking about some washing some clothes and a swiffer. No, let's talk about the finance aspect of it. Okay, if we're gonna be equal, then that means you should be dropping down on one knee with a ring asking me to marry you. All right, so so so therefore, so that so therefore we go therefore, hold on, no, we're not we're not equal there.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

I'm sorry. This is what we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

This is we're gonna do. This we're gonna do. This is what we're gonna do. We're gonna put a pin in this right here. We're gonna give, we're gonna give, we're gonna give our people that have been supporting us some time to chime in. We're gonna give y'all some chime in time.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

Please do.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

We're gonna give you some chime in because this this is not gonna get covered right here tonight. We have podcasts where we don't, we can't get it covered in one night. This is one of those nights. It won't, we won't cover this tonight. Please chime in, comment in on what you think about this. One, our our roles equal in union, marriages, seriously committed relationships. And should a woman drop down on bended knee. And propose to a man. What are your thoughts on this? We're going to talk to our supporters briefly. All casts is verified, our supporters. We thank you for anything coming in and coming out. We're very gracious for the help that we've been receiving. We're going to do, we're going to get this podcast up and running in the new season. We're going to be more interactive with you. We see that your comments have been coming in. We see that your support has been coming in, and we would love for that to continue and even improve. We thank you. Tonight we ask about women proposing to men. Tonight we also ask about equality and very, very serious, committed relationships and marriages. These are our two topics for the evening. We done breezed up in here. We ain't gonna do y'all been normally seeing us doing a little cat fight. We ain't doing that tonight. We're gonna let the people sort this out and we're gonna come back and we're gonna meet you back here. Same back time, same back channel. I'm not about to go through this with the light of the night. So we done put it on the floor for y'all. All right, y'all be smooth out there, y'all be safe out there until the next time. Let us become sharper.