More Than a Body

Episode 10: Broccoli, Pizza, & Boogers: A Four-Year-Old’s Take on Food

McKenna Green Episode 10

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 28:37

Send us Fan Mail

Remember when you ate when you were hungry, stopped when you were full, and didn’t feel morally ruined by a scoop of ice cream? Me neither. But 4-year-old Lauren does.

In this episode (recorded in July 2023, because ADHD & grad school are a hell of a combo), I sit down with Lauren to talk about her relationship with food before the world has had the chance to completely botch it. Her favorite food? Her perfect day? Her "I'm hungry, so I eat," worldview? Revolutionary stuff if you ask me. You’ll also hear from Lauren’s mom in the background (hi, Rach). 

In between booger jokes, an intense Labradoodle identity crises, and the war on toy-unboxing YouTube, we dive into:

  • How kids naturally gravitate towards balance despite adults swearing they’ll only ever choose ice cream 
  • How children are born with an innate ability to trust their bodies, listen to hunger/fullness cues, and choose foods that make them feel good
  • How kids seek variety long before adults shape their eating with external rules
  • The difference between teaching kids about their bodies vs. controlling their food
  • Why making comments about your own body (or anyone else’s) in front of kids is monumental for them
  • How childhood food rules can shape eating patterns and lead to a loss of body awareness
  • Why kids value the people they love for how they make them feel— not their body size or weight— until society teaches them otherwise

If you’re a parent, a caregiver, in ED recovery, or just stumbled in here by accident, this one’s for you. It’s a love letter to the younger you who heard “metabolism” and assumed it was a spell from Harry Potter (me). 

Also: happy birthday, Lauren :) Never lose your spunk, kiddo. I hope I’m still your favorite gay aunt and we will need an updated episode before diet culture even thinks about touching that little brain. 

Instagram: @morethanabodypod

SPEAKER_02

Why does your bugger keep running because that could you pick it? I am here with can you tell me your name?

SPEAKER_00

Lauren. I'm here with Lauren. And how old are you, Lauren? Four. Four. For episode number 10. Yo, is this thing on? What's going on, everybody? This interview was done in July of 2023, which is an absolute nightmare. Please know, because Lauren wants me to let you know, that her answers probably have changed over the course of the years. I essentially did this interview with Lauren when she was four because I feel like there's a lot of misconceptions about how to raise children around food. A lot of people think that if they trust their children to feed themselves or choose what they want for dinner, that every single night is gonna end up being ice cream sundaes, that kids are never gonna want to eat their vegetables. And I just think, no, I don't think science tells me that our bodies are born with this innate sense of trust. We know what makes our bodies feel good, the things like antioxidants that we get from vegetables or fruits. And we know the things that also make our body feel good in a pleasurable way, like, yes, ice cream sundaes, but we also have natural hunger and fullness cues as well. I just wanted to show what a child's perception and beliefs around food might look like before they grow up and they are distorted by the media, by their family, by friends, by all different influences in their life. I'm trying to essentially capture what a child's relationship with food looks like before it gets fucked up. A couple things to note before I get back into the interview. I was not as well-versed in podcasting equipment as I am now. So unfortunately, the audio is gonna be weird. It's going to go back and forth between where I'm trying to like expand maybe on answers that Lauren gave to my questions and then my interview with Lauren. You will hear a background voice that is gonna be Lauren's mom. Uh, again, she's four years old, so having a little guidance here and there isn't always a bad thing per se. The next episode actually will be an interview with Lauren's mom as well, talking about how she parents around food having had her own struggles. Lastly, Lauren is four years old, and while that does not entirely have to do with the fact that it's really hard to stay on topic, it is really hard to stay on topic. And as an adult diagnosed with ADHD in early 2023, that was like that was a long time coming. I get it. The questions might not be super lengthy, the content might not be super lengthy, but she's four years old and really all she wants to do is watch TV with me. And who could blame her? I'm a really cool person to watch TV with. Anyways, that being said, let's get into the interview. Are you excited to be on a podcast? Yes. Can I ask you, what is your favorite color? Rainbow. I also love rainbow for a completely separate reason. But good color. Tell me, what's your favorite thing to do? Tell me a little bit about you.

SPEAKER_02

I like I like to do um, I like to play games, I like to paint, I I like to dance, I like to do ballerina dances.

SPEAKER_00

For anybody that's gonna be listening to you on the podcast, what would you want them to know about you the most?

SPEAKER_02

Uh um doing ballerina stuff.

SPEAKER_00

Who doesn't love to do ballerina stuff? Are you ready to get into it?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So I wanna know what is your favorite food in the whole wide world?

SPEAKER_02

Broccoli.

SPEAKER_00

Broccoli. Do you think everybody should be able to eat broccoli?

SPEAKER_02

Y yes, because it's healthy.

SPEAKER_00

It is healthy. How do you like it cooked? Or just like plain broccoli, just raw dogging it?

SPEAKER_02

I just like it with pizza.

SPEAKER_00

With pizza? Who doesn't? You know, it's a good little balance there. Do you think everybody would you tell everybody that they should try broccoli, they should eat broccoli? With pizza. With pizza specifically? What kind of pizza?

SPEAKER_02

Um, pepperoni with nothing else on it. No cheese. Sus pepperoni and cheese.

SPEAKER_00

And some sauce. Yeah. You know, I actually thought, I really did think, it might be hard to ask questions that could kind of prove the points that maybe I'm trying to prove or debunk the myths that I'm trying to debunk. But Lauren really hit the jackpot for me with this first answer. The idea that kids won't eat their vegetables if they don't like their vegetables could go completely out the window. I mean, that's not entirely true for all children, right? Of course, but asking this question just goes to show that Lauren actually does like her vegetables. And I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it. Parents have influence, right? So they can guide their children to make nutritional choices. I just want to point out, however, that at this time Lauren is four years old. So, yes, while she can realistically be guided to make healthy choices, and maybe that could be reflected in her answer. It's super important to note how young she is when she says this. She says it's healthy, and there's a connotation there with healthy. And I wish I would have explored what do you mean by it's healthy? I wish I would have asked her like how it makes her body feel, but I didn't. It was my first ever interview with a four-year-old. I'm trying to get better at it. Before we're really even told what's healthy or unhealthy, a lot of us already know how to listen to our bodies. It's just this innate, super cool thing that they're wired to do. Kids like Lauren remind us that our bodies are wired for balance. When you think about it, her love for broccoli with pizza perfectly captures what intuitive eating is all about, which is variety, flexibility, and just freaking joy, dude. She doesn't label foods good or bad, don't get me wrong, she does say that it's healthy, but she simply knows what feels good together for her. Her answer here is a really powerful reminder that children don't naturally just reject foods that are nutritious or good for their bodies. When they're able to explore or eat intuitively and they can experience food without that pressure or that attachment of labels, they tend to enjoy variety on their own and discover what variety looks like for them. But it's only when adults start labeling foods as good or bad that that natural curiosity and that natural trust starts to fade. Where do you like to get pizza from? This is very important. Pizza pizza.

SPEAKER_02

So we always go to pizza pizza. No, you call everything pizza pizza.

SPEAKER_00

Do you think anybody shouldn't eat broccoli? No, because it's healthy. What are some foods that you think everybody should try? Like if you could list five foods that you think everybody should try in their lifetime, what would those be? We already got broccoli. Chicken, pizza. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02

And peppers.

SPEAKER_00

Red and green. On a perfect day. First off, what does your perfect day look like? What are you doing on your perfect day?

SPEAKER_02

Um, do birthday stuff and have a cake.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, what kind of cake? Chocolate. Can you tell everybody when your birthday is? Um, December 4th. And you will be five. And not just show, because the people can't see you. Five. Got you. Okay. Can we can I hear that? You can, of course, hear that. I like this part too. She's talking about how chicken, high in protein, is on her top list of favorite foods. Same with red and green peppers. She loves pizza. Kids, they don't come into the world being afraid of food. That's something that later is taught. I wish I would have asked Lauren about, I kind of do, but I think I'd have to make it a little bit more descriptive. But what are some foods you think everyone should try? I guarantee you that in her mind, when it came to pizza, Lauren was not thinking, oh, people in bigger bodies shouldn't eat pizza because they need to lose weight. No. Children are not thinking that about who should and shouldn't be eating these foods because they're not putting any type of restrictive label on them. Children are just freaking excited because food is a really, really cool thing and they want to be able to share it with everybody that they care about. Or if you're like Lauren, everybody that you meet in the grocery store, because Lauren is just literally friends with everybody. My point is we do that. Society does that. As we age, we attach labels to food. We believe that some people shouldn't eat certain foods based on what they look like because we equate a certain number on the scale with health, which don't even get me started on that because I'm not trying to flip a tit today. Yes, in part it's because they're innocent, but also it's because they just don't care. They do not care. They are not looking at people for their physical attributes and tying that to food in the way that modern society now does. And don't get me wrong, children definitely say exactly what they are thinking. I can think of a time my brother in a grocery store, there was a lady that her teeth were brown. And my brother said, You did not brush your teeth as a kid. Don't get me wrong, yes, children do make overt judgments, maybe about physical appearance, but then they're looking at them as facts. They're not approaching it with a judgment.

SPEAKER_02

Do we do that? Because balance? Is that we talk about balance? I can bounce on my balance beam downstairs. I have a balance beam.

SPEAKER_00

You have a balance beam? What? Is that part of ballerina stuff? Yes. Your dog is next to us. What's his name? Ollie. What kind of dog is Ollie?

SPEAKER_02

Um, he the color Izzy, his he's gold.

SPEAKER_00

He's a pretty boy.

SPEAKER_02

He's a labradoodle.

SPEAKER_00

Ooh, that's a fun word, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02

I'm a I'm a fun one too, but because I'm a labradoodle, but I'm not the exact same color. I'm a different labradoodle color. Because mine is bright labradoodle. What color is bright labradoodle? Um, it's this kind of like a peach?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like a peach color. I didn't know you were a labradoodle, actually. So on your perfect day, you're doing birthday stuff, like eating cake. Now, on your perfect day, what would you have for breakfast?

SPEAKER_02

Um, what do you like to have for breakfast? Um, eggs and bacon.

SPEAKER_00

And what would you have for lunch?

SPEAKER_02

Um, um, taco salad.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. And then what would you have for a snack?

SPEAKER_02

Um, a bar.

SPEAKER_00

What kind of bar?

SPEAKER_02

Protein bar. And have three different flavors.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, tell me the flavors. This is important.

SPEAKER_02

Chocolate and birthday cake and strawberry.

SPEAKER_00

Ooh. Oh, the Power Crunch. Those are so good.

SPEAKER_01

Can I have a potum? Not while you're talking on the podcast because it'll be crunchy, but you did eat taco salad right before.

SPEAKER_00

Ooh, how was your taco salad? Good. What on your perfect day would you have for dinner?

SPEAKER_02

Um, pizza.

SPEAKER_00

Pizza? Was it with broccoli?

SPEAKER_02

Uh no, it's just normal pizza sponge.

SPEAKER_00

Gotcha, okay. And then for dessert, what would be dessert on a perfect day? Ice cream! Ice cream. And what kind of ice cream? Chocolate and vanilla. Chocolate and vanilla? Sprinkles in it. Chocolate and vanilla with what?

SPEAKER_02

Sprinkles in it.

SPEAKER_00

Mmm, because rainbow is your favorite color. It has eyeballs. Eyeballs are the best part.

SPEAKER_02

Well, they're not real eyeballs, they're candy eyeballs.

SPEAKER_00

I thought they were real. That's good to know. When we listen to Lauren's perfect day, notice how that perfect day includes a mix of pretty much everything. We've got protein, we've got veggies, we've got desserts, we've got snacks. Kids naturally will gravitate towards variety when they're given the freedom to do so. They don't restrict, they don't moralize food, and I know you're probably really tired of me saying that, but her choices really show balance between eggs and bacon, taco salad, a protein bar, power crunch, they do slap. Oh, I ain't gonna lie. Anyways, she's excited about protein bars and sprinkles. The exact same amount of enthusiasm. She'd tell you everything. There's not guilt, there's not hesitation, there's no sense of morality attached to any of the choices that she's making. And her choices are based on what tastes good to her, what's fun, what's comforting, and she's not making any justifications as to why she needs to eat it. She's also not running a marathon to eat her damn sprinkles. In the mind of a child, dessert is not something that needs to be earned. It's literally just a part of the day. It's my favorite part of the day. None of the responses about her perfect day are influenced by like body image, fear of waking, diet culture. She doesn't believe that certain foods only belong to certain bodies. I guarantee you, if I asked her if everybody that shows up to her birthday party deserves to eat her birthday cake, she would say yes. She's not gonna give a shit, dude. She just wants to share that cake. And her answers reflect what food looks like before the world attempts to complicate those things. She is a protein bar lineup like a mini bodybuilder, but she still doesn't see food as a moral issue. What are your favorite kind of snacks besides Power Crunch bars?

SPEAKER_02

Um, cereal. Ooh, what kind of cereal? Um, cinnamon crunch area.

SPEAKER_00

That's one of my favorites too. If you're eating dinner with mom and dad and John and you feel full, what do you do?

SPEAKER_02

Eat ice cream.

SPEAKER_00

Chocolate and vanilla with sprinkles and eyes?

SPEAKER_02

Well, not kind of that because we have normal ice cream. I'm saying that um frosty treats.

SPEAKER_00

Ooh, frosty treats is my favorite too.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. But what what she means then is like what's when your tummy is full from dinner, what do you do? I eat ice cream. No, no. She means like what you usually do is you say, Did I eat enough dinner? To have a d dessert. Yeah, that's usually what's in mind. You ac will ask if you ate enough to have a treat.

SPEAKER_00

If you've eaten some of your ice cream and you feel full, what do you do?

SPEAKER_02

I wash my hands because some of it's melted. And you stop eating though, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. Like last night you had ice cream and you left the container three-quarters full because your belly was full.

SPEAKER_02

And my dad used it with a s caramel apple sucker and put on.

SPEAKER_00

I think it's important to point out here that there's already an early learning of food rules. And this is not a diss. It's not saying rules around food are bad, and I'm not saying you shouldn't have rules around food with your children, but I just think it's important to highlight it because look at how early on Lawrence picked up that in order to eat dessert, she has to eat enough of her dinner. Even underneath that, with some guidance from mom, her instincts are still pretty on par. She stops when she's full, even if it means that she's leaving most of the ice cream behind, which could be a sad day if you're like me and you often eat the pint. This moment shows how early kids start asking permission for the simple pleasures.

SPEAKER_01

I'm hungry. We you can't eat while you're recording. Listen to me though. You did just eat a huge cocoa salad, so do you just think you're hungry because we're talking about ice cream or is your belly really hungry? I'm just not hungry. Can you drink some water first? You don't have very much water today. And sometimes your body thinks that you're hungry when you really need to drink water. I'm not gonna not feed you. I just want to make sure that that's what you need because you know that you only get to have one protein bar per day. Because with protein like that, too much of it'll make your belly sick when you're a kid. It's got whey protein in it. You can't have two of those in a day. Because that has protein in it. Yeah, and like lots of protein's good for you, but when the type of protein that's in it can make it where it's hard for you to cool when you're a kid, and then your belly will hurt all day tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, I very much love this moment. Just because unintentionally, it's a phenomenal example of the difference between policing food and actually teaching a child about their body. I love that Lauren puts the word small to her description of how hungry she is. Like, I'm a small hungry, which is indicative of the fact that maybe she wants a snack. She's not trying to eat a whole nother taco salad. And instead of just dismissing her, her mom helps her sort out okay, are you hungry? Are you just thirsty? Because sometimes, and this is true, if we feel thirsty, our body will convince us that instead we're actually hungry. And so we might eat when in reality what we actually need is water. She also is explaining how certain foods might affect her body, like having too much whey protein could make her stomach feel upset, which is totally ungodly relatable. I carry lactate on me, like I have my conceal carry or something like that. Giving a child an explanation rather than just laying down the log without offering them any insight to me breeds roles that feel ungrounded or that can later, I don't know, just become super complicated. I think it's so important to educate children. And with Rachel doing this, I don't think I ever said her name's Rachel, but it's not going to be a secret because again, she'll be on the next episode. I like how she's offering Lauren a little bit of education, both on food and on her body, making Lauren get curious, but also making her feel heard rather than just shutting her down and saying, No, you just ate a taco salad, you're not hungry. It's like, all right, well, maybe we shouldn't tell children how they feel because again, later in life, those things really can impact attunement. She's slowing things down and helping her check in with her body while also providing a little bit of education, which loves some psychoeducation. Love to psychoeducate. I'm gonna ask you a couple more questions.

SPEAKER_02

And then after that, we can go play in my room again. Um, yeah. Wait, can we watch TV together?

SPEAKER_00

We can. Alright. Okay. What foods don't you like to eat?

SPEAKER_02

Um, I don't like to eat is nothing. It says like everything. You like to eat everything? But not potatoes. But but but not to fate.

SPEAKER_00

You only come back so you can just put your you can just talk right from there.

SPEAKER_02

What I don't like is potatoes. What about French fries? I like French fries, but not normal potatoes, but normal potatoes, okay Would you rather for breakfast?

SPEAKER_00

Would you rather have pancakes and waffles, or would you rather have eggs and toast? Eggs and bacon. And would you rather eat pizza every night for dinner, or would you rather have chicken every night for dinner?

SPEAKER_02

I might rather have chicken every night for dinner, but no, but not every single night.

SPEAKER_00

Would you rather eat potato chips every day, or would you rather eat broccoli every day? Um, potato chips. I just uh this, oh my god. This only cracks me up because broccoli, the very first question I ever ask is what her favorite food is, and it's broccoli. And the only food that she really doesn't like is gonna be uncooked potatoes. However, she will eat potato chips any day of her life. What's your favorite thing about yourself?

SPEAKER_02

My my favorite thing about myself is um playing games with my brother.

SPEAKER_00

Heck yeah. When you look at mom or when you look at dad, what's the first thing that you think about? What's your favorite thing about them?

SPEAKER_02

I like hugging them. What is your favorite thing about John? My favorite thing about John is hugging them too. Hugging John too.

SPEAKER_00

If I was gonna show you a picture of mom right now, what is the first thing about her that you would think? Here, let me pull, let me pull up a photo of mom. Okay. Alright. When you see mom and dad here, what's the first thing that you think about?

SPEAKER_02

I'm thinking about coloring them. One time I I wear that shirt before. You wore mom's shirt before? Yeah, they even fit me. Yeah, I'm sure it look really good.

SPEAKER_00

Alright, this moment's really freaking pure. I tell Rach all the time, if I could, I would love one day when I have kids to have carbon copies of her children because they are just precious. But what I love the most about Lauren's answer to this question is that when she thinks about the people in her life that she loves, she's not thinking about how John has the cutest cheeks in the entire world, or how dad's biceps are absolutely massive, or how mom's shoulders are the size of Donkey Kong. You're welcome, Rage. It's true. She's talking about how she loves them. She wants to cuddle them. She's not noticing their physical attributes. She sees them for probably the way that they make her feel, the way that they treat her. So her brain goes straight to hugging, cuddling, being close to the people that she loves, which is a beautiful reminder that kids don't learn to evaluate people's bodies or judge people's bodies until the world teaches them to. To children, the most important feature of a person is probably how safe and loved they make them feel, which is why kids see the world before appearance.

SPEAKER_02

Can we do that next podcast off?

SPEAKER_00

The next question.

SPEAKER_02

So when we're done, I'm gonna watch TV with you. Mm-hmm. We gotta make sure we watch out for kids playing with toys. That's bad shows. I can't even watch it on bad because it's weird. Yeah. So we have to watch normal stuff.

SPEAKER_00

I have one more question for you. When you're hungry, what do you do? We eat food. She didn't take a second to overthink that thought. Kids don't overthink hunger. This entire interview, I just feel like shows how kids approach food with curiosity. They don't approach food with fear or look at food as though it should have rules attached. Their relationship with food is flexible. They like foods because in part texture. They like sprinkles, maybe because their rainbow, they like ice cream because it's sweet and it's smooth and it's creamy, but then they like broccoli because it's crunchy and it makes their body feel good. Her response to what do you do when you're hungry? We eat food is just a reminder of how intuitive things are before diet culture complicates them. This interview is a small testament to how human beings are born with the ability to know when we're hungry, to know when we're full, to be curious with food, to be exploratory, to seek variety. We are not meant to eat one food all of our lives because a nutrition label on the back of packaging, how I perceive it, is if the world did not influence people's relationship with food and body in the way that it does, we would have both a lot more physically healthy people and a lot more mentally and emotionally healthy people. And I think a lot of people are under the impression that if they don't try to control their child's food choices, that maybe their child will end up physically unhealthy. I'm not going to be somebody that says 100% you're wrong, but I do think it's important to trust your children, basically, and offer gentle guidance and kind of like Rach did there, offer that education aspect of things. I hope that if you yourself are listening and you are a parent, that this kind of teaches you to trust your child, but also shows you how impressionable children are. And I can promise you, as somebody that has recovered from an eating disorder, your words around not only food, but around other people, how you speak about other people, whether you make judgments about people because of their appearance, whether you look at yourself in the mirror and say, oh my gosh, I feel like I've gained 50 pounds in front of your five-year-old child, all of those things matter. Point blank, period. All of those things matter what you say around food. If you eat a cookie in front of them and you're like, well, that's all gonna go right to my waist, or you eat a large dinner and it's like we need to go walk this off, or you have graham crackers and peanut butter and it's like, oh, I just ate a bunch of fat. All of those comments, kids absorb like a sponge. And whether you directly say to them peanut butter is bad or you don't, or whether you directly say to them being in a bigger body is bad or not, they will pick it up and they will associate those things, food and body, with self-worth. When in reality, people are good because of who they are intrinsically, not because of any external feature. And children know that. But the only thing that changes that for them is the world. Compliment your children. Sure, tell your daughter that she's beautiful, but also tell her how funny she is and how intelligent she is and how you love her creativity and do the same thing when you talk about people that you love in your life. Don't make comments about people's bodies in front of your children. If your child wants to have pancakes with syrup every day for breakfast before just saying no, explain to them why it might be important to include things like eggs or bacon. If I'm thinking about food rules in my house, which this was a much earlier episode, but I am an insanely fast eater. It has taken me a very long time, and I'm still working on it, to actually taste and enjoy the food. So when I had binge eating disorder, I was like, well, it kind of makes sense because this has kind of been innate to me. When I was eight or nine, one of the rules at my house was you eat everything that's on your plate, or you have to eat it for breakfast. And who in the heck wants to eat leftover meatloaf for breakfast? Nobody does. So even after I got full, what I started to do was I'd chew up some meatloaf and I'd swallow it with water. And I would do that for every single bite. And I remember it started becoming a joke. Like to my brother, it's like, uh, your sister's got it down to a science. And it's like, in hindsight, no shame on my parents, they had absolutely no idea. But when you think about it, all that taught me was that in order to be done eating something, I had to be uncomfortably full. I lost the ability to determine when I was full. Because water and food coupled together are gonna fill you up twice as fast if they're going down together at the same time. There are so many people I love in my life that still actively make comments about other people's bodies. And to me, it's just like, but why? Like, why are we doing this? I understand it's because you have now grown up with the association that someone is worth more or worth less, maybe based on their body size, but those are all things that I internalized as a child that I later equated to my self-worth. Which is also why I say it's really important not to make those judgments in front of children, whether they're about another individual or whether they're about yourself. Because we don't want children growing up as though people in this world are only unproblematic if they're taking up as little space as possible. Happy birthday, Lauren. I'm sorry this took two and a half years. I hope I'm still your favorite gay aunt. And your birthday present will be on its way to you soon. Thanks for all your patience and for not disowning me in all the time that it took. And if anything, it just means that we're probably gonna have to do an updated version at some point soon. I love you, kiddo. Owen Rage. John Boy's next. Is there anything else that you would like to say to anybody that listens to this before you log off here?

SPEAKER_02

Uh, no thanks. That's my whole podcast. What if my mom hears my podcast?

SPEAKER_00

I think she will hear your podcast.

SPEAKER_02

Well, I hear it too.

SPEAKER_00

I think so.

SPEAKER_02

Let's go sound uh how shall I see we know.

SPEAKER_00

But we can't watch kids playing with toys, it creeps me out.

SPEAKER_02

Don't forget to like and subscribe. Can I hear that?