Breaking Free From What Isn't Working

After facing a tough situation in a relationship, I had a powerful realization that identifying what isn't working is the first step towards finding what will work. This led me to explore the importance of recognizing unproductive patterns in our lives and breaking free from them, especially when it comes to the scarcity mindset that can keep us stuck in unhealthy cycles. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey, my friend, really quick, i just want to tell you about something really exciting. If you've ever wanted to be a guest on the show, now's your chance. If you visit wwwpodinboxcom that's P-O-D-I-N-B-O-Xcom slash donations You can record and send me a voice message giving me some feedback, asking a question or just giving your point of view on the kind of things we discuss here at donations. So make sure you go check that out The link is also listed in my Instagram bio and keep an eye out for your feature in future episodes. Thank you for your support. Alright on with the show.

Speaker 1: 0:42

I feel like everything in my life so far has led me to this exact place in time, to this exact moment, and I wouldn't change where I am for anything. What's up everybody, it is a great day to be back at donations. I'm your host, donovan Baeza, and today we're definitely feeling that right place, right time, energy. Whenever the age old question if you could go back and change anything, what would it be? comes up, i typically don't have an answer. I feel like everything in my life so far has led me to this exact place in time, to this exact moment, and I wouldn't change where I am for anything, even in the times that I find myself kicking and screaming and crying and praying to find myself in a brighter place as soon as possible. I still know in those dark moments that I'm being granted a special space in my journey to grow and to become a better version of myself. Everywhere I am good, bad, happy or sad is exactly where I'm meant to be and is the only place and time in which I can learn the lessons needed for where I'm going. I truly believe that, And it's so mind-boggling to me how things we experienced in the past, in our younger years, don't fully become the lessons we learned until our older, more wiser selves step in and take a look at all the things going on in life right now and is then able to make those connections.

Speaker 1: 3:04

I remember talking to a friend some years back about the trouble I was facing in a relationship that I was in, and, after listening to me ramble on for a bit, she finally asked me what kind of outcome I was looking for. What did I think needed to happen in order to see the relationship through, in order to get out from under the weight that I had fallen under, under the weight of these issues? And my response came pretty easily. I really didn't have to think much on it. It kind of just appeared in front of me And I said all I know is that what we're doing right now isn't working. And I know that doesn't really seem like an answer that lends itself to a solution. But what my response did allow me was the realization that sometimes recognizing the things that aren't working is, in a sense, the first step towards realizing what will work. It brought to light all of the actions I was and wasn't taking and the results I was and wasn't seeing.

Speaker 1: 4:14

Sometimes the approach we take in life can lead us into patterns, patterns that might not be easily recognized all the time but that are very easily repeated and that unfortunately bring about undesirable results. And so I think it takes being discerning about what we're doing now that isn't leading us to where we want to be As human beings. It can be so easy to lean into comfort. It can be so easy to repeat patterns, even with the chance of those undesirable results, because then we know what to expect and we can avoid the scariness that is uncertainty. If my younger self had realized that the problems I was facing in that relationship were the results of Unproductive patterns. I would have removed myself from the situation a lot sooner, but it was the comfort of those patterns aka the knowing what to expect, even with all the unfavorable moments, that kept me leaning into it.

Speaker 1: 5:24

I Was in what's called the scarcity mindset. It's this idea that we convince ourselves that there is no better situation, that there's no better relationship, there's no better job, there's no brighter day than now, even with all the troubles I'm facing, and so we keep repeating unhealthy cycles, all for the sake of knowing what to expect and Staying in our comfort zones. Essentially, there was a time, even more recently, that I was talking to one of my best friends discussing this low feeling we felt hanging over our heads, a Feeling that had allowed us to come face-to-face with the fact that we weren't where we wanted to be in life, that we weren't doing the things we thought we'd be doing at this point. That may be. We were further from the best version of ourselves than we ever imagined we would be, and As we discussed this feeling, what we started to do was peel back the layers. The layers that were the approach we were taking, the routine we had fallen into, the comfort and the expectations we felt were the safest option. The unhealthy patterns that we had accepted, all the things bringing about the unwanted weight and unfavorable results.

Speaker 1: 6:56

If you find yourself in a position, environment, career or relationship Feeling like you're walking on eggshells, feeling like there's still a part of you that's not fulfilled and, and especially, feeling like the amount of effort you've invested into this thing hasn't been matched, then it's time to face the fact that that's not your home. Don't convince yourself. There's no way, there's anything better and let that keep you stuck and A part of you feeling a little bit miserable, let it go and go find your home. Don't invest in something you feel is lacking. Invest in something that does give you fulfillment, something that does make you feel like your home. Invest in yourself.

Speaker 1: 7:47

Be discerning about what is working and what isn't. It's important to know that it's always going to be an ongoing process. I'm proof of that. But in order to rid yourself of the weight You might have fallen under out of fear and comfort, you have to be willing to break apart the patterns that are no longer serving you. You have to be fearless and stepping into new approaches to getting the benefits out of life that you're looking for. You have to be willing to do away With the scarcity mindset, and you have to trust and believe that there is always better than just accepting The weight of what isn't yours to carry, regardless of any temporary comfort it might bring. I Hope this message finds you exactly where you're meant to be, and I hope you aren't taking on any weight that isn't yours Until the next one. Be careful.