Let's Redefine Status: Exploring Intrinsic Worth vs External Value

Buckle up as I take you through my teenage years, where I navigated the high school landscape in my trusty Honda Accord, and started to unearth the pivotal realization that our worth is not determined by material possessions, but rather, who we are as people... and that true status is built from within. Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay

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Materialism vs. Values and Morals

Speaker 1 0:00

Sure , we all have preferences in what we're initially attracted to in a partner and , yeah , someone that dresses nice and has nice things and takes care of them is attractive and says something to us , right . But how much of what we prefer is materialistic versus the morals and values a person holds ? What is up ? Beautiful people of the interweb , thank you so much for joining me today . Welcome back to donations . I'm your host , donovan , and today my friends . I just hope that you're focusing on all the things within your control and once again pushing aside the things that aren't .

Speaker 1 1:14

I think it can sometimes be so easy to get caught up in the what ifs that we forget to focus on the what is , especially with how things are in the world today . I think that's such a grown up thing to say . With how things are in the world today , maybe it's because we've been around long enough to see just how often things change and we have a much wider grasp now on the kinds of things that happen outside of our childhood home or bedroom , when we're not playing with toys or childhood stuff and we're really out here living now in the real world . Oh , we out here . So , with that in mind , if you do anything today . Just remember to take a deep breath and remind yourself that we're all on this journey together , because without that reminder we can sometimes forget that we're all trying to look like we have everything figured out but honestly we don't . I think it'd be impossible to say anyone has absolutely everything figured out , but I do think it's possible that we're all facing the same kind of worries and stresses .

Speaker 1 2:30

And in speaking of how the world is today , I think it's safe to say most of us have an online presence right . We're all posting photos and videos and reels and TikToks and just trying to get a like right and maybe a couple of followers or find some friends that share the same outlook on life . And I'm not going to lie , it's really discouraging to see posts or videos with so much intrinsic value be pushed aside because the one who posted it maybe doesn't have the huge following , or maybe because the post itself doesn't have the high number of likes that we're used to seeing when we scroll through these videos , the high number of likes that we associate with the sexy or funny videos that we think are worth liking and saving . So please don't hesitate to spread some kindness when you see someone putting themselves out there , cheer whoever it is on and don't think it's too cool or beneath you to share some love with them . And I do not say that because I'm posting all those things on social media too , but because really we're all just trying to leave something lasting behind and we're all just trying to do our best and find purpose in each day . And even if you're not posting on social media , then you're at least trying to do a good job right and you're giving honest , intentional effort in whatever it is you're doing and you want to be appreciated for that and that is so commendable , if you ask me , I think nowadays we can get so caught up looking at follower count or how many likes someone has , or the way someone dresses , the kind of house they live in or what they drive , all these status things . And we can look at all those things and say , oh , maybe I don't measure up like I thought I did , maybe my honest , intentional effort isn't enough because I don't have those things . Or , on the opposite end , we could have all those things and maybe find that we lean on them a little too much because society says those are the things that matter and those are the things that heighten our status .

Material Things and Self-Worth

Speaker 1 4:53

When I was growing up , my grandparents had this little 1992 Honda Accord and it wasn't the flashiest of cars but it was clean and well taken care of and it got them from point A to point B . It had these blue corduroy like seats and this blue carpet , and the exterior was blue too , and it was exactly what you'd expect a car from the early 90s to look like . It was a Honda and I don't care what you say . That automatically means it's a classic and it's extremely dependable . They had it the entire time I was growing up and it served them incredibly well . But eventually they set it aside for a newer car and I'm not really sure how the conversation started , but my grandpa and my dad and I started talking about maybe me taking the Honda on as my own , since I was about to be a senior in high school and would definitely need a way to get around . So eventually I became the Honda's new owner and when I tell you I wasn't even thinking about how old the car was or whether it was outdated or not . When I say that , I mean it . I don't know if that's the case for everybody at that age , but honestly , I had my license and I had my keys and the stereo system still worked . So , as far as I was concerned , I was set to conquer senior year .

Speaker 1 6:23

And speaking of senior year , I feel like high school is , in a sense , one of the first proving grounds we're exposed to when it comes to status . It seems like it was all about what you had or didn't have and how . On the first day of school it was all about who is or isn't wearing the newest trends , who's got the widest , cleanest new shoes and the biggest designer bag , because we all know the bigger the designer bag , the more space you took up , physically and figuratively . It's no wonder it's become almost ingrained in us that material things hold more value , that they mean we as people hold more value because we not only have material things but because we have the best kind of material things . But when it came to all of that , or whether my car was new or old , or whether it was cool or wasn't cool , I honestly did not care . All I cared about was that Blueberry was mine , and mine only , and how it felt like the whole world opened up because I had a car .

Speaker 1 7:34

Now , blueberry , by the way , is the name my friend and I gave my little Honda and it just stuck and pretty soon everyone was referring to it as Blueberry , and I'm not kidding . Just the other day I was catching up with an old friend from high school and one of the first things he asked me about was good old Blueberry and to be honest , it made me melt a little bit to hear that someone else remembered it as much as I do . The same friend who helped me name the car was the same friend that took a shoe polish marker to the back window and In every inch of space possible she wrote I do what I want , and I never washed it off . It stayed on there for months and anytime anyone would see a little blue car on the street with I do what I want Written on the back , they knew it was me . That little car was at the center of everything . For me . It was my ticket to and from Friday night hangouts after the football games . Shout out to the drumline hangouts and our special version of truth or dare . It was the reason my friends and I got to eat at the good restaurants for lunch and not at whatever was nearby , because that was our only option and it was a space for countless group selfies , late night venting sessions , sing-alongs and , like a million , sunset drives . That car was on the smaller side , to be honest , but when I think back on it it feels like it was so much bigger on the inside because , I'm telling you , it was full of life and it poured life into me .

Speaker 1 9:14

Sadly , though , my time with good ol blueberry didn't last forever and we eventually parted ways a couple of months after graduating . I Kind of feel bad saying it , but I completely , well almost completely forgot about blueberry for a second when my brand new black Mustang entered the picture . My parents and I had made a deal at some point in my high school years that if I did my best and graduated and Made them proud and all the good kids stuff , then they would maybe help me get the car of my choice . Now I was blessed enough to see all of that through . So there I went , driving my new car off the lot and almost immediately adopting this upgraded mentality . I Felt like the coolest kid on the block , and you couldn't convince me otherwise .

Speaker 1 10:02

And Because I couldn't be convinced otherwise , I naturally started to lean on that upgraded mentality a little too much . I Was riding around town more concerned with what myself and this car appeared to be , rather than where it was taking me or who I was riding with or what kind of memories we were making . Of course , because of how life works , we don't really notice things like that right away until we're forced to take a step back and Take a look in the mirror right , and I wasn't able to see or maybe just wasn't as self-aware or concerned with how much of a contrast it had become between Driving this Mustang and driving blueberry . If blueberry was all about throwing up a middle finger and I do what I want and Ignoring what anyone else thinks , then my black Mustang was really just about looking cool , which doesn't hold much , if any , weight . It was like I expected my value to immediately increase in whatever room or party or hangout I walked into because I was driving this car .

Speaker 1 11:16

But , in all honesty , there were plenty of instances where I was met with a feeling of rejection and indifference , when I was expecting to be met with acceptance and excitement because of what I was riding in and what it must mean for my status . I even remember this one time there was this one specific person I was trying to impress and romance around this time , and I remember walking out of the movies on a date we were on when he ran into his uncle in the parking lot and this uncle had just bought a brand new black Challenger and my date could not have been more excited about it and he rushed to take a look inside of it and he turned to me and he was like it's nice , right . And I agreed because hell yeah , that car was nice . But really all I was focused on was making sure my excitement matched his on the outside , because on the inside , boy , there was a war going on . I Was like why haven't you been this excited about what kind of car I have and why do you see so much value in his car and not in mine and All that stuff ? Because we're human , right , and sometimes we can do that .

Speaker 1 12:31

I Think it's easy to sometimes to see materialistic things and what they must mean for someone's status , as as Indicators for someone's ability to love and care and respect us and to essentially provide for us . Sure , we all have preferences in what we're initially attracted to in a partner and , yeah , someone that dresses nice and has nice things and takes care of them is attractive and says something to us , right . But how much of what we prefer is materialistic , versus the morals and values a person holds and whether or not they'll still choose us and the relationship at the end of the day . And Sometimes we might even go as far as Hesitating to mention someone we're talking to to our friends , or we might not bring them around our hangouts just yet because we're afraid or we assume our friends might Prejudge this person for something that lies in materialism , like what they do or don't drive or what they do or don't have , when in reality we're just stifling the relationship ourselves because we're allowing those things to matter so much instead of focusing on the person they are and how they make us feel and treat us , and allowing morals and principles to determine whether we introduce them to our circle or see the relationship through to the next step . And Honestly , and being prone to that kind of mindset , back at the time I had gone my mustang , I Assumed my date would surely see plenty of value in me I .

Speaker 1 14:11

But honestly , looking back , I'm glad he never said anything or brought any attention to my car . Don't get me wrong , I absolutely love the car , but obviously I went about it all wrong . I tried to turn it into something . It wasn't and I tried to let it speak for me . I let it speak to my value rather than the other way around , and I should have never gone about it that way . I essentially minimized all that .

Speaker 1 14:41

I was into this two-door car during a time especially that time that it was so imperative for me to know that there was so much more to me as a person than what material things I did or didn't have . I mean , don't get me wrong . There's nothing wrong with having nice things A car , a home , clothes , jewelry , bags , whatever it is but to think that having anything materialistic or external of us automatically levels up our status is basically attaching our value to whatever that thing is , and those things can break or bend or tear , and those are things we should never let happen to our value as people . Is a new car or a new home or any of those material things something to be proud of , absolutely ? But to lean on them like they're the foundation of who you are is absolutely the wrong way to go about it . But I get it .

Speaker 1 15:40

I know what it feels like when we see people close to us or someone we know , or even strangers , celebrating or showing off their new home or new car or any of those things that society says raises our status and we all of a sudden question if we're doing enough in our life . Right , because maybe we don't have something new to celebrate or show off . And sometimes maybe we even question whether someone would even bother to look our way because maybe we don't have those things yet . But trust me when I say our ability to love and cherish someone does not come from the material things we have or don't have . And , honestly , if someone isn't looking our way because of that reason , then good , let them keep looking somewhere else . Because having to show someone I have nice things or I have quote unquote status , just so that I exist to them , is not a service I want to subscribe to anyway . And look sure , health and vitality is important . That is a mentality I 100% subscribe to . But a mentality I am not here for is the idea that someone being ripped and full of muscle and little to no fact guarantees that they'll love you better than someone who isn't in the same shape .

Building Worth and Value From Within

Speaker 1 17:00

Luckily , I started to untie myself worth and value from my Mustang and started to build it within myself because of who I am and not because of what I have and because of what I , as a person , bring to the table and not because of what I drove to get to the restaurant , and that , in turn , has allowed me to not get caught up in any of the other things society says I need to have or need to be to have status , and it's allowed me to check myself when I do get caught up in those things , because I'm human and I slip up sometimes , but that's okay , because without the slip ups or reality checks we wouldn't be able to really take a step back or look up and see what direction we're headed .

Speaker 1 17:50

I think we all have our black Mustangs in our lives the materialistic or external things we think give us value or worth or that we think are a sign of status or a sign of living an upgraded , better life . But I think it should be less about allowing external or material things to speak to the person we are or who we love or who we let love us , and more about allowing our authenticity and our internal self awareness and self value dictate what table we sit at and who we're with or who recognizes us when we walk through the door , or what party we attend , and whether we're having fun or not , or essentially , the kind of life we're living . True worth and value is built on the inside . Remember that Until the next one , my friends , be careful .