Personal Renovation: Tearing Down The Facade

This episode is a candid revelation that peels back the layers of societal pressures and the facades we construct, urging us to forgive who we’ve been and embrace the person we genuinely are. Music by 23843807 from Pixabay

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Staying True Amid Societal Pressure

Speaker 1 0:00

We no longer have to be someone that does things that don't truly align with the morals we carry , because the world says we're way more cool if we do . We get to be the kind of person that acts authentically and who cares if that's the cool thing to do or not . What's up , guys ? Welcome back to your favorite podcast . I wish it's your boy , donovan . Welcome back to donations . Just a quick reminder , if you didn't know already you are stronger than you think , more capable than you believe and more powerful than you could have ever imagined . I think sometimes we give other people more of the benefit of the doubt than we give ourselves . I think we give ourselves about half , if not less , of the benefit of the doubt , and so you have to believe that you are more powerful than you've ever imagined before .

Speaker 1 1:28

Diy has officially taken over , and when I say DIY I mean the home improvement kind . I've had paint on my fingers and nails and clothes for the past couple of days and I go to bed thinking about all the possible renovations and updates I can do to my house and each room , and I wake up ready to break out even more paint and paint rollers or the hammer and level and get to it . I've already tackled parts of the kitchen and the bathroom and the living room and I still have even more plans for them and have a whole list of things I want to do to the home office and to the podcast studio , and it's crazy to see parts of these rooms in my house that I was once so excited about . Fade and change into these new things that I either didn't find appealing before or just didn't think were actually possible . It blows my mind and has become like my new favorite thing . My house has seen plenty of changes like this before . I'll paint and remove and fix and update and decorate and redecorate all that I can , and the house will get increasingly cluttered because I'm moving everything out of the way and into the hallway and there's just tools everywhere and it gets messy and dirty . But once all those changes are made and the residue and all the cleanup has all been thrown out , everything feels fresh and new and like a totally new space , and it's a new space that allows me to not just grow into it but grow around it too . It gives me a new perspective and if you've ever done any renovation or just simply moved your room around , you know what I'm talking about , and it gives you a recharge , sense of creativity and kind of like a new sense of self . And then , soon enough , all the newness becomes the new normal and provides a warm feeling that you love to sink into after a long day at work or after a grueling day at the gym or after a late night out . So all that messiness and clutter and elbow grease that comes from starting the change becomes worth it when we see it all come together .

Speaker 1 3:53

After being in my house for the past couple of years , I've come to learn that sometimes it's really easy to forget what your house or room or space is supposed to feel like , and it really takes a refresh or a change like that to feel at home again and to really feel like yourself again . And speaking of feeling like yourself , I think the world tries to convince us that in order to look strong or in order to look capable , that we need to act a certain way , that we need to not smile too much , that we can't ask for help and that we definitely cannot cry or show emotion , because those things are taken as signs of weakness and put us into a position to be taken advantage of . So all of those are a no-go . I think about how many times I've let what society says make the decisions in my life for me , and how it's made me create this persona when I'm in public that fits in but that sometimes feels so far , like miles far away from who I really am deep down . It makes me question how many times I , or maybe we , have disregarded what's near and dear to our hearts and passions , personality , traits , sometimes even people for the sake of looking cool or coming off some certain way or to be accepted by others or whoever's around us . And I wonder how many times I or again , maybe we have done things that are so far out of character , maybe said things we didn't mean , reacted in a way that doesn't align with our values , all because society says it's how we should act .

Embracing Authenticity and Change

Speaker 1 5:55

But then , after the fact , when we're back to a space where we feel like we can take that mask off and be our true selves , we end up beating ourselves up for those actions that are so far gone from who we really are , when we had every opportunity in those moments to have just been our authentic selves and not end up in bed at night unable to sleep because we find ourselves , fighting to get rid of that guilt that's so heavy , and I'm at an age slash space in my life where sleep is finally what it needs to be , and I'm not gonna be giving that up to fight with the kind of guilt that comes from acting out of character for the sake of being accepted , or fighting with anything for that matter . So , from here on out , I'm choosing to forgive who I was and embracing who I'm meant to be . I'm choosing to forgive myself for the mistakes I made in the past that don't align with who I am now or who I'm working to become . Not only do I not have to put on a mask or persona for the sake of being liked and accepted by everyone I meet , but I choose not to . And not only do I not have to hide my emotions or not smile too much because it makes me look weak , but I choose to just be me .

Speaker 1 7:20

Embracing ourselves in all that we are grants us the ability to see all the value we bring to any potential relationship or situation , and choosing to show that value to ourselves first , so that there's no longer this feeling of a void that needs to be filled or standard to live up to for society's sake , and no longer a desire to choose anything that doesn't choose us . We no longer have to be someone that does things that don't truly align with the morals we carry , because the world says we're way more cool if we do . We get to be the kind of person that acts authentically and who cares if that's the cool thing to do or not . We can be patient and caring without caring if someone thinks that's weak . It's not only who we get to be now , it's who we choose to be . And , trust me , I understand how big of a change that can feel like if you're not the kind of person who finds putting your foot down as second nature , and I understand how big of a change it is to see some people stick around and some people not stick around when we stop being who people want us to be .

Speaker 1 8:32

But I think the only way to embrace those kinds of changes , or change of any kind , is to throw yourself into them headfirst . Whether putting your foot down is bringing about change that adds to your life or change that takes away from your life , it's never really until we're forced into that that we realize how necessary it is . Change can pull the curtain back on how complacent we might have become , how much we might have put up with , how much we might have settled for and how much weight we might be carrying unnecessarily , and how far behind we may or may not have left ourselves to be seen as tough or beautiful to whoever , or to be accepted or liked . You are all those things because of who you've always been , not because someone else says so , and so much more still . Yes , change is scary , and we can end up convincing ourselves that we're not settling or that we haven't become complacent and that everything is perfect when it's not , and that we haven't acted out of character or aligned ourselves with things we don't truly agree with . And snow doubt that change taken away from our lives can feel heavy and like an ending , versus when change adds to our lives and it feels like a fresh beginning .

Speaker 1 9:54

But without the current of change being as strong as it is , I don't think it'd be as clear of all the things in our lives that we have to be grateful for . Even when life takes things from our grasp . It's because of change again , that we're granted new things to hold on to and , with it being as inevitable as it is , we can't allow ourselves to cling onto things when it becomes clear that they're exiting our life , even through the pain that that can bring . We have to embrace the things that walk in to replace what's left . And so I say embrace yourself for all that you are , regardless of the kind of change it brings . Tell whoever it is that says you have to be something . You're not to kick rocks . And if you have been embracing yourself , keep doing it in all areas of your life , relentlessly .

Discovering Personal Growth and Renovation

Speaker 1 10:49

And I don't know , maybe this resonates with you or maybe it's something you've known all along as how things should be . But what I do know is that the moment I walked into my house , I saw all that it was , yes , how outdated it had become over the years , but even still , how much it could be updated and all that the space was meant to be . So that's what all this DIY I've been doing has started to challenge . And so I'm seeing the same in me . I'm seeing who I've been and what parts of him don't align with who I've grown to be now , and even still , all that I can still grow to be . And I hope you're doing the same , and not for society's sake , but only for yours . Until the next one , be careful .