Patience, Trust, & Aging With Grace

Unraveling the threads of perseverance and patience & discussing how they, along with trust, allow us to age with grace. Join me as I discuss how we can learn to see our own narratives in a new light. Music by DayFox

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

And I'm telling you this from personal experience. We're not gonna age gracefully if, when we're facing challenges, we continue to consider everyone else's opinion Worrying if we'll look dumb if we fail, much less try, or if caring too much isn't cool. It's high time we turn all that noise off and tune into whatever feels right for just us. What's up guys? Welcome to Donations. I'm your host, donovan.

Speaker 1: 0:52

The sun is out and it's been hanging around a lot longer these days. The birds are chirping, things are blooming it's safe to say it's a new season here at Donations. There's nothing like the ushering end of a new season or another trip around the sun to really put into perspective where exactly you are in life, and I'm lucky enough to be in that place right now. I feel like I'm stepping into this new age with a newfound patience, which is huge for me, because I've never really known patience before, or I guess, as well as I should. But I guess, after going through plenty of ups and downs and knowing how good of a teacher the waiting for the best kind of fruit to sprout from the seeds of intention is, I guess you eventually start to not only learn what patience is, but you learn how to treasure it. And that realization could not have come at a better time, because I feel like I'm in a very transitional period in my life, and when I say transitional I mean you know, like when you're just in between things. It could be that you're striving to land a new promotion at work, or striving to graduate or reach a goal or just move forward in general right, but you kind of understand that there's still things that you need to learn before you can get to where you want to go, or that the resources you need to be where you want to be haven't made their way to you yet, but that they're on their way.

Speaker 1: 2:27

Those transitional periods can really look like a whole lot of things. I mean it could be you're working to become a fitter, healthier version of yourself and it's only been a couple of weeks and you're feeling great. But you fully understand that things don't happen overnight and there's still some consistency to see to to really reap the benefits of what you're working towards. Or the kind of transition that comes with heartbreak or grief, where it's your past, the initial hurt, your past, the initial heartbreak, but you know there's still some hurt there to deal with and things to process through. Or just the kind of transitional period where you realize not a lot is going on in life and that's okay, but it might feel a little boring, but you know things will pick up again in no time.

Speaker 1: 3:15

That's the kind of in between I'm talking about. I feel like I'm in an in between season and that's okay. It's part of the process. I'm feeling no impatience about it. I know that I'll get where I'm going in my own time and when I'm meant to.

Speaker 1: 3:32

But just because I realize that that's what's happening or that's what's going on in my life right now, it doesn't mean that it's always been easy to accept it or lean into those kind of quiet times in life. But what I found out is that it really takes finding what you consider one win in each day, whether big or small, and applauding yourself for it. Just keep hyping yourself up like crazy because you deserve it. And soon enough you'll find that you're racking up win after win after win and you'll turn that in between season until one of the best things that ever happened to you, because you'll know what it feels like to have gained and benefited, regardless of what the season looked like, and just because it feels like a time where not a lot is going on. It doesn't really mean that that's going to be the case when it comes to that heavy emotional stuff, because I think when things are quietest that's when we're able to feel the most or pay attention to what's been going on that we've maybe been neglecting. And some of those feelings roll off your back with no problem, and some are a little heavier, but, as always, those are opportunities, right to use them as a push forward.

Speaker 1: 4:53

What's been really helping me through this time in my life is these peaceful spring mornings that we've been granted lately, where I'll sit on the front porch and really take the time to ease into the day. I mean, I don't have all the time in the world because responsibilities, but I'll take some time to sit on the porch and do some reflecting, really taking stock of what got me here, and then some visualization, imagining what I want, where I go from here to look and feel like. And of course, I'll have my C4 because I'm taking those into whatever season I'm in, and I'll have deeper well playing in my AirPods because I'm obsessed. But just having mornings like that, enjoying something as simple as the cool new season breeze and all that it has to offer and then using all of that the reflection and the visualization as tools to dictate the steps that I take here in the present, and it's really helped me feel like I'm using my time wisely. And it was sitting on the front porch one day, in that reflection and visualization last week, that I realized something.

Speaker 1: 6:10

My dad just retired and even though it's something that didn't happen to me directly, it's still been a very eye-opening experience. Whenever he had told us he would be retiring for sure, for sure, come springtime, it seemed like that was months and months away and yet it went by so fast. But I didn't think that it would, because my mom is a warrior and that's where I get it from. But her biggest worry, echoed a little bit by my dad, was that something would happen God forbid or that something would get in the way of it being a quiet and peaceful first step into retirement. I mean, I get it when I think about retirement, or at least what it should or might be like, because I'm years and years away from retirement and that's not an age thing, that's a growing up thing. I think of it being like letting out this giant sigh or this breath that you've been holding in for years and just the stiffness in your shoulders melting away. That's what I imagine it being like.

Speaker 1: 7:26

But life is unpredictable, right, and my dad, setting that concrete date in the spring, felt like we were sending out this giant invitation that none of us put an address on but that still got sent out for something to go wrong and get in the way of it being that huge sigh of relief. Thank God we're all past that. Now the date has come and gone and he seems to be settling into his retirement quite nicely. I mean, there's an ease to his walk and presence that feels like he's got his whole life in front of him, and seeing that gets me really excited about continuing to work hard in my career and building something that will grant me a feeling like that, cause it's so easy right to get caught up in feeling like we have to go to work until we can retire, and work just gets in the way of everything sometimes and is some days the worst thing in the world. But work really grants us something, and not only has this whole my dad retiring granted me a visualization of that, but it almost feels like this very tangible thing.

Speaker 1: 8:35

On the other side, though, it has also shown me how easy it is to let worry get in the way. Do I blame my mom for worrying so much about it being this easy and rewarding thing for my dad to experience? Absolutely not. Do I wish worry was easier to let go of? Yes, and not just in cases like this, but in all places that worry seeps into. I mean, life didn't stop, but in between, the time he told us he had made that decision and then the date actually coming to pass, it felt like that worry was a very tangible thing. It felt like we had this list of things we could possibly do in those months in between, but half of that list was crossed out or labeled restricted, because that worry was in the way and it showed me, made me realize, that if a train is meant for you, it won't leave the station, kind of like what's meant to happen will happen regardless of worry, and I get it.

Speaker 1: 9:41

We could argue that it's not worry, it's being cautious, because no one ever wants or hopes for anything bad to happen. But that's life right. Just because we don't want something to happen doesn't mean that the possibility isn't there. But we can't let that stop us, and this whole experience painted this picture of just how much we let worry contribute to the stagnancy we feel in our life sometimes when it doesn't feel like an in between but more like a frozen or a stuck and how that can keep us from moving forward and, to be honest, if that train indeed does leave the station, even if it seems like your only way forward.

Speaker 1: 10:23

Life has always tried to teach us to remember to open our eyes and look around, because there really is another way onward, a path. We might need to push aside some bushes or carve out some debris to see, but it's still there Because, like I said, bad things happening are always a possibility. I mean, we all know that we never know when or if we'll come face to face with the kinds of things we feel like we're right to worry about, or when we'll be tested, but that isn't to say that we won't be prepared. I've always talked about all the things life has to offer and teach us and how much the worst parts of life suck so much, but how resilient we have the opportunity to become when we show up on the other side of that wave. Having held on as tightly as we can. The waves come and go, and it really takes trusting that, because we've gotten through them before, that we'll get through them again. And all of that is definitely contributing to this newfound patience too, because when I was younger I used to be like, alright, let's hurry up and paddle to the next wave so that we can get through it and get over with. But it doesn't really work that way, and I understand that now and I trust in myself more.

Speaker 1: 11:51

A couple of weeks ago marked the start of the CrossFit season, and with it comes a couple of online competitions, and it's really hard for me sometimes because I love it and I get so excited about it. But I also get really worked up about it, questioning whether I'm as ready as I should be and if I'll find myself moving forward through the competition phases like I have before. And it always comes at a time that I'm turning a new age and that plays into it too. I mean, getting older is great. I've always leaned into it. There's always something new that you get to do that you haven't got to do before, but that doesn't mean that it's always easy. Sometimes you find yourself hurting in weird places that you've never hurt in before. You sometimes find yourself not as willing to pull an all nighter like you used to do, and soon enough you find yourself using the word old a lot more than the year before, and it's all weird and fun and crazy and eye-opening all at the same time.

Speaker 1: 12:55

And so when the season started, my head was just turning over all these what-ifs over and over. What if I'm moving a little slower and don't get through the first phase, like I'm used to doing? What if nothing plays out in my favor and I have to tell the people that are used to hearing about my successes that I was met with failure this time? And what if this thing that I've always been and am still so passionate about isn't for me anymore? And just many other things that just kept contributing to the size of this wave I saw coming on the horizon.

Speaker 1: 13:31

I think we all do that Get so deep in our heads about things making them seem like these huge problems that are impossible to get through or that we'll never solve, and just obsessively ruminating, and then we start to question our ability to overcome, jeopardizing any trust that we have in ourselves, and I think, too, that feels a little heavier the more we age. It's not just the trust thing. We also question whether we've learned enough, grown enough or have garnered enough wisdom to move forward unscathed. But we have to remember how invaluable it is to know that we become the definition of aging with grace when we instill that trust in ourselves and use it as a guiding light through life's inevitable trials and tribulations. So I had to talk with myself and realize that I had to really lean on the strongest parts of myself that I'd built up until that questioning moment to remember that, whatever the writing of this wave turns out to be, I'll be better because I faced the challenge and didn't run away from it.

Speaker 1: 14:43

And I had to remind myself that, whether I come out on the other end with a success story or a lesson learned because I failed, that knowing and following the places in which will be challenged is probably the best place to be. It's the best place to know ourselves, it's one of the best places where we can grow and evolve and become better and fail better. And it's one of the best places to experience all that life has to offer and learn the lessons that allow us to do that aging with grace thing. And I'm telling you this from personal experience we're not going to age gracefully. If, when we're facing challenges, we continue to consider everyone else's opinion, worrying if we'll look dumb if we fail, much less try, or if caring too much isn't cool. It's high time we turn all that noise off and tune into whatever feels right for just us.

Speaker 1: 15:37

I think by facing challenges head on, we expand what our comfort zone looks and feels like and we stretch them out further and further, little by little each time, and we build the kind of resilience that everyone is trying so hard to muster up on a day to day basis just to get out of bed and face the day. And we really empower ourselves when we face these challenges. And, honestly, none of that can be done without trusting that we're capable of doing it, of overcoming. It really takes facing adversity to really find the kind of fulfillment in life that we're all searching for. And there's no feeling quite like the one we get when we realize our capacity to overcome and in turn to achieve, and whether all that living life and facing challenges and chasing fulfillment keeps taking you further and further in one direction, or whether it redirects you, keeps seeking and facing and living even still. I hope you're trusting yourself, be friending patients and aging with grace. I have no doubt that if you aren't, you will be soon. Until the next one, be careful.