Cherishing Through Each Season

As the pages turn, the bonds we form evolve — This episode is a homage to the relationships that weather life's varied seasons. 
Music by DayFox on Pixaby

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Growth is painful, change is painful and still welcome. Back to Donations. It's your favorite host, donovan, and I'm so grateful that you're here with me today. You know, I was laying in bed the other night, deep into one of those doom scrolls, if you know. You know as one does before going to sleep which, by the way, I know it's horrible to do blue light before bed and all of that.

Speaker 1: 0:59

But the more I talk to people, the more I realize that it's something almost everyone does and it makes me wonder what part of watching other people's lives intrigues us so much. Is it because it takes us out of our own lives and allows us to be flies on the wall to experiences we haven't experienced yet, to experiences we haven't experienced yet? It's crazy to me the more I dive into it. But there I was, just falling deeper and deeper into the depths of TikTok and then switching over to Instagram and then on over to YouTube, which was where I came across this Apple commercial slash ad, and in this ad they focused on a couple of different individuals from different parts of the world, all turning different ages. It was each of their birthdays and they were celebrating and being celebrated, and it was very cinematic and appeasing to the eye and very, very touching. There was this story playing out that you didn't need any words for you, just you knew what was happening and you felt it too. And, as Apple does so that they can advertise their products and the impact that they have, they started to show how, basically, these people were alive, able to blow out the candles on their birthday cakes because of a near-death situation that they were in that an Apple product saved them from or alerted them of, and they were able to find safety or seek help before any dire situation or before things got worse.

Speaker 1: 2:48

There's no doubt that it's messy being human and that the heartbreak and the disappointment and the sadness and the abandonment and the frustrations and all the hurt and the pain that we feel and that are inevitable for us humans really contribute to that messiness and makes us feel like we've got the worst card in the deck, which, trust me, I'm right there with you. I've felt that before too. But being human is also really effing beautiful and it really takes a shuffle in perspective to see that, to be alive and to be able to experience such a giant spectrum of feelings and emotions, because we can't forget the good ones that we get to have too. Have too, and this commercial really made me feel like damn. You thought you were living the worst existence possible when you got your heart broken for whatever reason, and I thought growth is painful, change is painful, and still we have to continue to show up for it. We have to continue to show up for it, and because of the love and goodness and hope that I felt again after healing from whatever bad feeling or emotion, I would be willing to experience the bad stuff as many times as I had to, over and over again, and I would do all of that for the chance to be surrounded by the people that always helped me to believe in that love and goodness and hope again. For the chance to blow out the candles on my birthday cake another year and I'm so grateful to have gotten to do just that the other day, surrounded by the best people in the world. Surrounded by the best people in the world.

Speaker 1: 4:35

As we get further and further into our adult years, it feels like celebrations are few and far between and as an adult man yearning to feel the feeling he got on his fifth birthday party at Peter Piper's Pizza again, I fully understand that life gets busy and everyone is focusing on navigating their journeys and doing the best they can, and sometimes people forget what day it is. So to have had people my people make another day in the month feel so special, felt like I was at five-year-old again and thank God I didn't find myself in a dire situation before getting to experience that it really is the people and families and tribes around us, whether born into or chosen, that lift us up. So don't forget the people that have always been there for you. Life will take us so many different places and it's so unfortunate that the trajectory of it will find us growing and evolving into lives that are very much separate from some of those people that have always been there for us, that we've always been close to. But the truth is we can't all be walking the same path or be on the same journey at the same time, and because of that, we do see some of the closest people to us become seasonal.

Speaker 1: 6:00

And but I think the beauty in that, which I've said time and time again, is that in a season that you needed someone with certain types of strengths, they were there, and in times that your strengths were needed the most, you were very much an impactful chapter in their story. And then seasons change, as they inevitably do, and that's what life was always going to do. You were always meant to travel down different paths, but that doesn't mean forget completely, right, and there's an importance in not forgetting, not just to who those people were, but also the things they taught you and helped you through All the wisdom you've carried throughout your life that they contributed to. That's what it's for. All the things that you experienced and learned from that allowed you to give them the kind of guidance or insight that they needed. Remember all of that and cherish it.

Speaker 1: 7:04

I've been remembering so many people lately in what feels like one of the most transitional, transformational times in my life. I've been remembering the one or two times I drank a little too much and ugly cried in the club or in the car, and all the friends that were there to witness and rub my back and tell me it was all going to be okay. Thank you, I'll never forget you and I'll always carry that sincerity and kindness with me. And for the friends that I made in college, that I not only shared lecture notes with, but who I shared stresses about passing exams with, thank you too, and thanks for showing up in that experience with me. There's a part of those people that will always be honored, on whatever path I find myself on, and your special people, present and past, are always honored too. Right when you remember good times and bad times, when you look back at photos in your phone's camera roll and when you laugh to yourself because of whatever joke was told or because whoever tripped and fell or whatever. That friend that lets you talk about the same situation 3,000 times and never grew tired of it and supported you every time your decision about it was different than the advice that they gave you, supported you every time your decision about it was different than the advice that they gave you. And yeah, sometimes in some friendships and relationships we're met with disappointment, but I think those too come with an opportunity to learn more about what you should and shouldn't allow in your life, and putting that into practice creates this yearning for a deeper place, and when you seek that out, you establish more enriched relationships along the way and you realize how all those things and all those people shaped who you were then and how all that grew and evolved into who you are now.

Speaker 1: 9:05

I swear I don't mean for this to sound like some kind of eulogy. I only share all this to say and pretty much reiterate don't forget the people that were always, are always and have always been there for you, whether seasonal or lifelong. I know life can get so busy and it's so easy to get caught up only seeing life through our lenses and only having the capacity to experience our lives and not always being able to keep up or carry someone else's experience. But I do believe, and have so intensely learned, that there should always be a space saved there for anyone that has been there for us, that has allowed us to lean on them.

Speaker 1: 9:53

Maybe this is a bit dramatic, but I think about back in tribal days, if there was a tribe and someone decided they wanted to leave or go out on their own. They had a lower rate of survival being on their own, but when you traveled in a pack and you had each other to lean on and each other's strengths to leverage, you ate more, you were warmer and you were safer. So have a space reserved for checking in, for being willing to listen, for just being present, a space reserved for your tribe, for the people in your tribe. It's important not to forget who your tribe is and to not take for granted who's always been there, because you never know, it may be a season that changes everything. The truest of friends, whether seasonal or long-lasting, can teach us how to be better people if we let them. Until the next one, be careful.