Don-ations
Don-ations is the place you come to when you want to slow down and make sense of it all. It’s for the overthinkers, the feel-everythings, and anyone trying to grow without losing who they are. Some weeks it’s just me, other times I’m joined by friends who bring their own stories and perspectives. Together, we dive into the moments of love, healing, friendship, identity, and the messy middle of growing, and turn them into reminders that you’re not behind, you’re just becoming. I’m not here to fix you. I’m here to think it through with you.
Don-ations
Don-Sessions: The Space Between Fate & Choice w/ Gloria & Clipper
Sometimes life gives you a fight you didn’t sign up for. Gloria and Clipper know that better than anyone. In this episode, we talk about waiting, strength, and what it means to keep living even when you don’t know what’s next.
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If there's anything that I've that I've learned through this this journey so far is patience, humility. I didn't have very much patience and I still I'm still working on it. But you know, that's something that you have to to endure every day.
SPEAKER_00:It's your host, Donovan. And it was finally under 60 degrees this morning. I don't know what it is, but something about that first bit of cold air just hits different every year. It makes everything feel a little bit slower. And maybe it's just the weather, but I don't think it is. I think things are starting to shift again in a good way. And I've been noticing these small changes more and more lately. Little things I probably would have ignored before, but now I'm just feeling them heavier. And I guess that's what makes this episode feel so ripe for today. It's the start of season five, and we've got Gloria and Clipper joining us. And their story really sits in that space where life starts to change before you even realize it. Somewhere on the highway, heading north, and the whole world stretched out in front of me. I was on my way to college in Denton, Texas. And it's crazy to think back on because I'm an overthinker by nature. But for whatever reason, at that time in my life, I was just stepping forward. It was just the next thing to do. There was a quiet go in my head that carried a lot more weight than I initially realized. And I remember having that mixture of excitement and nervousness sitting heavy in my chest because I was leaving home for the first time. I was stepping away from my childhood, my structure, and the little world I grew up in. It was just me and my clothes and a couple of necessities that I'd packed into the backseat. And I had zero idea of what living on my own would be like, or what loneliness would feel like once my family headed back home without me. Or what kind of a person I'd have to become to keep myself afloat. I just knew I was ready to step out into the real world and try. I had given myself a couple of weeks to get situated before diving into my school schedule, and those weeks felt bright and a little unshaped, like I had all the freedom in the world, but that very quickly turned into something bigger and louder and more complex. Once school started, it was very obvious that the guardrails were gone, and it was just me. Every choice, every mistake, every unfinished assignment, every late alarm all belonged to me. And I had never been called to hold myself accountable in that way. And it was so eye-opening, and it caused so many new questions to start echoing in my head. Questions that a syllabus or a to-do list really couldn't answer. I remember parking in the only open parking lot on campus and locking my car, putting my headphones in, hitting shuffle on my iPod Nano, and setting out to walk. To the complete other end of campus to get to my afternoon class. And it was on that very long walk that I started wondering, what am I even doing here? What's the point of all of this? Is this all for my well-being? And who am I becoming because of this? You know, as introspective as I can get, and as I've kind of always been, those just weren't questions I ever thought about before then. Maybe it was the environment. Maybe it was being on my own for the first time. Or more likely, maybe it was me really experiencing life for the first time. Unfiltered, unrefined, real adult life. And these questions were like this new weight I was getting acquainted with. And strangely enough, the class that I was walking to every other afternoon is where I found a sense of comfort. It was introduction to philosophy. And I say it gave me a sense of comfort, but not in the sense that it quieted those questions. It more so fed them and helped me make friends with them. I honestly signed up for the class on a whim, just trying to pick electives and fill up my schedule. And I thought this could be fun. Hopefully, maybe even easy. But from the very first day, I knew it was gonna be a whole other level. Because from the get-go, my professor was magnetic, more so than any of my others. He didn't just lecture like all the other professors, he asked us questions, and he challenged us. And somewhere in the middle of my first semester, I started to realize that I wasn't just learning about philosophy, I was being asked to look directly at myself and my life. I remember this one conversation in particular. He asked the class, Do you believe in accidents? And it sounded simple enough at first, but the more we discussed it, I swear, the more complex it got. One by one, a student would raise their hand and offer up an example of an accident. And within seconds, he had an opposing argument. And pretty soon it was just the students debating other students, giving examples of accidents, giving defense to the point of why it was a real qualified accident, or opposing it. And our professor just kind of pushing each debate as far as it could go. It was spilling coffee, missing an exit, or stepping on someone's toe. Were they really accidents? Or could it have been avoided? Could you have paid more attention, been more careful, slowed down just enough to keep it from happening? And you know, I understand the argument that accidents have to exist, that randomness is part of being human. But I also understand that accidents could just be the name we give to the outcomes we didn't plan for. There are endless opportunities to be prepared and to anticipate and to try and keep the world from catching you off guard. But actually being prepared all the time, I don't think that's living. I think that's trying to survive. And it robs us of the unexpected lessons that only come from falling down, or from failing, or from being forced to adapt. And suddenly, we weren't talking about accidents or clumsiness anymore. We were talking about control. How much of life is ours to steer? How much is already set in motion long before we get the chance to touch the wheel. We were talking about fate and whether life is pre-written or if we write it as we go. And I still remember, to this day, leaving that class, both restless and lit up after that conversation. And after years of turning it over, I think I finally landed somewhere in the middle. I think certain moments, people, and intersections are faded. We're meant to meet them. We're meant to learn something there. But I think the path we take to reach them is our choice. And I don't think any choice is inherently good or bad. It just leads somewhere new. It takes us a different way around. Each decision opens another door, asks another question, or demands another lesson. Every path carries its own curriculum. And those lessons don't always come beautifully wrapped. Some arrive as loss, and some as waiting, and some others as pain. Because there are times when the map disappears, and the only power left is deciding how to keep moving through what we've been handed. And I think that's the part that humbles us. I think that's the part that breaks us open enough to really learn. And that's where today's story lives. It lives in that space between what's faded and what's chosen. It lives in the waiting. It lives in the not knowing. And in the quiet work of perseverance. It's where Gloria and Clipper live. And it's where so many of us have lived too, even if our stories and our paths look nothing alike. And just like you and me and everybody else are doing in our own lives, they're navigating what it means to keep moving forward when the outcome isn't promised. When we were initially talking about the episode, Gloria mentioned the song Por el Resto de tu vida by Christian Nodal. She said it reminded her of her and Clippers beginning together, and that immediately hit me, because that's probably one of my most favorite songs, and not only that, it speaks to inevitability and fate as well. And that's what their story feels like to me. It feels like two lives that were always meant to meet each other, shaped by everything they've had to walk through, both alone and together, to remain standing. It's not a story of perfection or certainty, or even of control, but about what it means to wait for something that you can't force or rush, or that you can't immediately fix, and still finding a reason to keep showing up anyway. It really is the kind of thing we all strive to do on a daily basis. Clippers waiting for a transplant. But beneath that there's another kind of waiting. It's the kind of waiting that makes you question where the line is between destiny and decision. And between what you choose and what simply arrives. And I think that's what makes their story hit so hard. It's not just about what they're going through, it's about what it reveals about all of us. And how we make meaning out of the uncontrollable. And how we love when we don't know what's next. And how we live when the story won't tell us how it ends. Tell me a little bit about how you two met.
SPEAKER_02:A little over 30 years ago, Gloria and I met uh working together at Albertsons, and uh we started out as friends, you know, just hanging out on the weekends, going to dances. You know, I could probably say a few different things that she might not agree with, but our friendship turned into more than just being friends. Uh me having trust in her and her doing things for me that that nobody had ever done for me before. That was that was a lot for me, you know. Growing up in different households, I wanted something stable, and you know, I I at that time I thought, man, this is gonna this will be something that's stable.
SPEAKER_01:What he's not saying is he thought I asked him out. But I didn't. You know, um me and my friends would go out on the weekends to dances, and I never wanted to like really dance with a stranger, right? So that one day turned around and there was Clipper, and I said, Hey, you want to go to a dance, you know? I said, and he's like, Well, yeah. So I picked him up, okay? So I didn't see it as a date. I picked him up, I dropped him off, but you know what happened that that evening was this guy really blew me away. He opened doors, he uh pulled out chairs, he even I mean who does this, right? He got my drink and put a napkin and then put my drink on the table. And even my friends turned around like, whoa. And yes, I kissed him, you know, that day, but I didn't think of it as a date. And he swears it was a date. But here we are, 30 plus years later. It hasn't been perfect, nothing's ever perfect, right? But you stick it out, you know, whatever comes, you you stay.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, absolutely, you stay no matter what. I've kind of been thinking about that lately, and I think the way dating has changed over time and the way it is now has some people thinking that some better person or some better option is always waiting around the corner, and so a lot of people don't make the decision to stay and find out what a true partnership or marriage is.
SPEAKER_01:Marriage is marriage is forever, and you only marry that one person, you know. I I that's I strongly believe in that.
SPEAKER_02:And um it's a full-time job in itself.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you don't give up. So we started there and we had a family, three boys, three blessings, uh, while still doing a full-time job, both of us. Thanks be to God that we had my mom, she helped raise my boys, and through those times, you know, not taking care of ourselves, living living life, and you know, all of a sudden it's like he's diabetic. He's gotta do this, gotta do that, and you know, he's gotta eat right.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I think for me, you know, knowing that I had a family history of of diabetes and the stories that you know that I would hear from my mom and my grandfather and my aunt, you know, about certain things to eat, certain things to drink, how to take care of yourself. I thought, well, I'm young enough where it's not gonna it's not gonna bother me. So, you know, the lifestyle that I lived, the foods that I ate, the things that I drank, uh, they weren't good. You know, they weren't good for my body.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, absolutely. I think we all think we're invincible a lot of the time, or that nothing will ever happen to us, right? I get that.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. And, you know, I don't want to say that if I could do it all over again, I would do it any different, because I don't know. I just know now that, you know, making those kinds of choices, you know, it it did affect, you know, my health and the situation that I'm in now.
SPEAKER_00:When you say that, the the situation you're in now, I know that carries a lot of weight. What did the beginning of that look like for you? When did you first realize something was changing or shifting?
SPEAKER_02:Like right around March of 2024, I was going to work and I started feeling sluggish. I started feeling bloated. I started gaining weight. And by the end of the day, I was so, so fatigued, and I couldn't wait to get home and get under the covers. I was thinking, well, maybe I'm just coming down with a cold or some type of virus. It just kept happening every day. So two, three weeks pass, and finally I can't take it anymore. And I told Gloria that I I think there's something wrong. And I went to see my doctor. He did some blood work, and he said that I needed to uh to go to the hospital. That the the blood work uh had a lot of anomalies. So I went to the hospital and uh they immediately uh uh admitted me in the hospital saying that uh that my kidneys were failing me. I was at uh at uh at a stage five, which is the end stage of renal failure, and uh that I needed uh to do some type of uh dialysis in order for the the fluids that are in my body, because they were they were filled with toxins, they needed to be removed. And within two months, I went from weighing 246 pounds to weighing 190 pounds. Most of that was fluid that was uh in my body.
SPEAKER_00:Wow. That's a big change. It probably felt like your body just kind of changed on its own and you didn't really have a decision or a choice in it. That's that's gotta be hard. That sounds really tough.
SPEAKER_02:It's uh it's a tough procedure. I've I've been through two types of dialysis hemodialysis, which is daily dialysis every day from your home, which is very tough. Uh nine hours a night, seven days a week, where's a little wears you out a lot, lots of fatigue. And uh at that point, uh for a couple of months, I decided I wanted to do uh do the dialysis in center, and I go three days a week, four hours every day. Uh it does drain me, but uh, you know, it's a little bit uh better because I only have to go three days instead of having to do it every single day. So I have a little bit of more uh days to myself. And uh, you know, yeah, the fatigue is there, sometimes the pain, um, different things going on. But the one thing is that I have a great support system here the to encourage me, even when I'm feeling down, whether it's my wife, my kids, my granddaughter, they all encourage me to to get better.
SPEAKER_00:How would you describe what this season of life has looked like?
SPEAKER_02:You know, I I I don't work right now, and it's it's been very tough in going through the through the everyday everyday struggles of my my kidney failure. I want to be able to work, I want to be able to provide for my family, and and I'm at a point in my life where I can't, you know, I have to work hard on this project, which which is getting my body to be to be right in order for me to get a transplant. And there's a lot that goes into getting the transplant. It's a process. In August of 24, the first time we went to Las Palmas Kidney Transplant Center, and they did they took about 30 vials of blood, they do uh stress tests, they do CAT scans, they do uh ultrasounds, they do EKGs, ECGs. It's a long process.
SPEAKER_01:It's tough because this whole thing has has been a big long process just to get on the list. Which we are not on the list yet, you know, and it is um test after test after test, review and findings, and that's scary. But you don't get discouraged, you have to keep keep going, you know. It's kind of like okay, you know, we're finding these things that are going on in your body, let's take care of it, let's fix it, and then let's move on.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. I think uh I think you're hard you hit it right on the head about staying positive and just completing all these things. It's like it's like okay, you know, maybe I can't go do a regular job, but this job that I'm doing now is is a job that's probably a lot harder uh from the simple point of okay, I gotta complete this task, now I gotta do this task in order for the bigger picture to be filled, which is to get a new kidney and and and uh resume my life in a in a healthy way. And you know, I'm gonna fight.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah, it's amazing how that decision to fight can really bring clarity, right? I think that kind of clarity shows you what really matters, like what you still want to live for and who shows up for you.
SPEAKER_02:And it's amazing that you know there's there's a lot of people out there that that are supporting us and encouraging us and praying for us. And I uh I don't want to let anybody any of these people down. It's not just them, but myself. I want I want to I want to live. There's there's still things that I want to do. There's things that that I want to do with my granddaughter and take her's places. And there's a lot of other people that that I see when I go to dialysis that uh are younger than me, but have it worse than me, can't walk, can't see, don't have legs. And and I'm thankful that you know that I have that I have what I have. And you know, is it easy to get discouraged? Yeah, sure it is. But that's that's part of part of life, and uh, you know, through the grace of God, you know, I'm gonna win this battle.
SPEAKER_00:What's been one of the hardest parts of all of this to sit with lately?
SPEAKER_02:When I first got diagnosed with uh kidney disease, I was scared, confused, I was angry, and I was thinking, man, what could I have done differently to to not be in this situation or the stage that I'm in? Could I have eaten better? Could I have done things a lot differently? Probably so. But uh I don't think it was an accident. I think that there's a reason for for things to happen. You have to learn to to accept things and and fight. And every day is uh is a is a struggle, every day is uh is a is somewhat of a battle.
SPEAKER_00:But um I just have to fight through it. Absolutely. I think that's a really important part. I think we spend so much time wondering if something could have gone differently or if we could have changed some sort of outcome. But sometimes I think it's not really about that, and it's more about what we make of the moments we have, even though they're not perfect, and the moments that we're in, and that we keep living and keep fighting, even in the hardest season that life throws at us. What has not only that, but this whole process taught you about yourself?
SPEAKER_02:Well, when I first went into it, I didn't know anything about what kind of processes that I would have to face. But once I learned that a kidney transplant would be the best way to probably live a longer life, have a little bit better quality of life, I thought, well, okay, you know, I still there's still things that I want to do. There's still things that I want to to share with my family. And and uh if there's anything that I've that I've learned through this this journey so far is patience, humility. I didn't have very much patience, and I still were I'm still working on it. But, you know, that's something that you have to to endure every day, especially with dialysis sitting there for four hours and not being able to move. But even when I'm feeling down, my family and my wife, they pick me up.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. You know, I can absolutely rely. To that patience part. I've never been good at waiting, especially when there's something important on the line or something special to me. And I think life has been trying to teach me to slow down enough to let things unfold how they're meant to, but it's hard. Do you feel like that patience has allowed you to shift your definition of strength?
SPEAKER_02:Uh yeah, I think that uh through the course of time, the faith that my wife has, and it passes on to me that much more. And I feel like we're stronger now than we were at the beginning of this journey. So uh to answer this question, yeah, I think my strength has gotten a lot better.
SPEAKER_00:That's really special. Thank you for sharing that. Um how about you, Gloria? How has standing next to Clipper in all of this changed your idea of strength?
SPEAKER_01:I think standing beside someone going through this is really tough, really hard. Um I would say if I didn't know my God, then I would be a wreck. My strength comes from him. And you know, for me, I can't I'm human and I can't I can't let him see me um like hurt or feel bad or down because of what he's going through. When you're married, you become one. If he hurts, I hurt. What he's going through, I go through. But I have to be the stronger one because if I let him see that, you know, this this is either getting me down or I feel bad, or I you know, then he goes down. So you have to have that faith, you have to get through it, and because I know my Jesus, you know, and he knows me, that's where I get my strength. Life isn't promised, really, right? Like tomorrow's not promised, and he never said that this life was gonna be easy, but with what comes, as long as you you're holding his hand, you can get through it. Because with him, all things are possible.
SPEAKER_00:Like, it's all I thought about, and in whatever capacity, I wanted to be somewhere on a stage. And obviously, that didn't pan out so well for me. But looking back on my life, I think about all the moments that wanting to become something made me fight so hard for. And I think about the moments that found me even when I wasn't driven by something or when I wasn't chasing anything. And I've said goodbye to that dream a long, long time ago. And fortunately, other dreams have taken its place. But even through those initial plans and whether they panned out or not, it makes me think about all the people in places that I wasn't looking for, but that showed up along the way when they were most needed, when they were supposed to. And I think about everything I've had to endure and learn because of the choices that I made and the path that I took. And it makes me wonder how much of life we actually choose and how much was always going to find us, no matter what plans we had. Do you believe your story is guided by fate, or do you see it as shaped by your decisions?
SPEAKER_02:I think that for me, this is one of life's lessons. You go through things and and things are put in your path, you know, whether it's it's fate or it's something that uh that you did yourself, I think we learn from it, and that'll help us in the future to make better decisions on things and maybe, you know, share some of my choices that I made, you know, not to to preach to anybody, but maybe I can shed a little bit of light on that and hopefully, you know, maybe have somebody live a little bit better life.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Absolutely. That's what makes it all mean something, I think. Every lesson we earn always has the potential to be recycled into somebody else's healing. So I love that. How about you, Gloria? When you look back on life, how do you make sense of what you had planned versus how things have unfolded?
SPEAKER_01:I always have said we all think we have a plan, you know, like I'm never gonna get married. Oh, I'm not gonna have kids, I'm gonna become this, I'm gonna become that, and we have this plan for ourselves, but in reality, God has your story, you know, and and he has the plan for you. Just like with me and Clipper, I said those things to myself before I met him, and I thought I had a plan. Then when we got married, and it and you say till death do us part, or all those things, and we're one. And because we're one, we pray, we we hope, and however this this turns out, it it's all in God's plan. I truly believe that. I think both of us, we understand that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I love the way you talk about acceptance like that. I really do. It reminds me that we were promised peace, but we were never promised having all the answers, right? I love that. If someone listening is stuck trying to make a decision in their own life, whether that be medical or about love or their career or anything, what would you want them to know about facing that?
SPEAKER_01:He asked me to marry him twice. Okay. Uh the second time, I'd I was like, yes, you know, and and I felt good about it, you know. Um, you do have to think about these things before you act on it, but don't let fear keep you back. With love, take that chance. Don't be afraid to get hurt. That next job, you know, that there's a job that you're wanting, uh, and you feel like that's your calling, take that leap of faith and do it. Also, don't ever, ever not forgive because your life it's not gonna be that great if you don't forgive. Because you're gonna be holding on to that. Forgiveness is is more for you, you know. Once once that is there, you know, life life is better, I think. And you just always have to take that chance. If I wouldn't have taken that chance, I wouldn't be I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have my my babies, I wouldn't have my beautiful granddaughter, you know. Um because if I would have said no, I mean I can't even imagine.
SPEAKER_00:Yep, I agree with you 100%. I think when we say yes, it doesn't just affect us, like it ripples out to the people closest to us and and the ones we love. Um, Clipper, how does that look for you? How do you think this experience has affected the ones closest to you?
SPEAKER_02:Well, it's not just a story about me. It's a story about my family and the things that they're also going through in order for me to get through this. I think that if they love you or you love them, you're gonna fight. When I found out I wasn't gonna be able to go back to work, it was a burden on me because I was always there to provide for my family. And now that I can't do that, it's a big burden on my wife. And, you know, she's she's uh she's a very strong person and and I'm encouraged by her, even though there's days when I'm down. Uh she encourages me to pick myself up and you know, let's get better. And uh I'm not mad, you know, a little upset sometimes, but you know what, that's part of this journey that we're on right now. And hopefully I can I can be an example to other people that that uh that even though you're going through the struggle that you can get you can get through it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think you are that representation that you can get through it. And that's an important part for sure, is getting through that struggle and still finding purpose in it. Um when you look ahead, how do you imagine life will feel different when this season passes?
SPEAKER_02:You know, the the journey is I think is gonna it's still gonna be a long journey. But for me and Gloria, we've been married for almost 30 years now. And I'm glad that I'm on this journey with her. I'm glad that we have the life that we have, even even though we've had ups and downs. I know that together that we will get through this, and you know, I look forward to getting a new kidney, and I look forward to doing a lot of things with my my my family and being able to share and being able to love them.
SPEAKER_01:Well, you know, every every season does pass, and we have hope, we have our faith, and as long as we have each other and hold on to the hope of his kidney transplant and the hope that it takes, like he said, it's it's gonna still be a journey, you know, and I feel hopeful. And every time that I feel that I have that sense of of that it's gonna it's gonna happen. Come what may, you know, uh we're gonna take it because from the beginning God had a plan and God gave me him.
SPEAKER_00:For me, this isn't just the story about a diagnosis or it needing a transplant, though that is a very important piece of the story. I think it's more so about being able to lean on each other. I think Clipper and Gloria really do have the kind of partnership that shows us that it's about being with someone that lets you become whoever you need to become, just so that you can keep moving through life. And it's pretty crazy when you think about it. It all started with him opening doors for her, and now she's opening them for him. Like that is That's love. That's simply being there. That's staying, like Gloria said. That's what it looks like to stand in that space that I was talking about in the beginning, between what's fate and what's choice, and to stand there and still keep showing up, no matter where life takes you. And it's about not trying to fight anything or push and pull at whatever has already happened, or trying to change something when you can't. It's about learning how to live in that, in that season. And I was thinking back to that question from the philosophy class of whether there are accidents and then whether life is predestined or if we choose what happens. And as fun as a memory as it is for me, and as much as I return to it from time to time, after talking with Clipper and Gloria, I don't think the answer really matters anymore, to be honest. I think what matters is who's with you through all of it. Whether it's choice or fate or whatever. It matters who's with you, and who you can lean on, and who lifts you up, and who you get to lift up. Because that's what Gloria and Clipper really showed me. They helped me realize that strength doesn't always look like standing tall and everything being okay. Sometimes it takes more strength to sit quietly beside someone when you don't know what's to come. Sometimes it's simply opening the door for someone when they can. And I've been sitting with a lot of what our conversation was, and I really feel like they're anchors for each other. Gloria anchors him in faith and presence, and Clipper anchors her in purpose and acceptance. And it's one of the most beautiful things I've seen in a very long time, and I'm so grateful to them for coming to the show and talking with me. They really do remind us that real love doesn't ask for things to be easy or perfect, but more so that you'll have someone there no matter what the day looks like. And I think that's the kind of peace that people talk about having when you find your person. Nobody promises that there's gonna be no pain and that you won't hurt through it, or that you won't find yourself in a season of waiting or uncertainty. What is promised is that there will always be a presence of something steady inside of that. And I was thinking about the journal prompt for this episode, and what I ended up landing on was who or what helps you stay grounded when life feels out of control. And what has it or they taught you about patience? And my friend, one last thing. This coming weekend, Saturday, October 25th, 2025, there's gonna be a farmers market with vendors and live music and a 5k being held for Clipper's benefit and all that he's going through. I'll be running, and if you're local to the Midland Odessa area and you want to join, or even if you just want to donate to help out, just message me on Instagram and I'll get all the information for you. Believe me, your support really means the world. It means more than you know. Thank you for listening today, and until the next one, be careful.