Don-ations
Don-ations is the place you come to when you want to slow down and make sense of it all. It’s for the overthinkers, the feel-everythings, and anyone trying to grow without losing who they are. Some weeks it’s just me, other times I’m joined by friends who bring their own stories and perspectives. Together, we dive into the moments of love, healing, friendship, identity, and the messy middle of growing, and turn them into reminders that you’re not behind, you’re just becoming. I’m not here to fix you. I’m here to think it through with you.
Don-ations
The Story You Tell Yourself In The New Year
Donavon dives into a freezing garage gym, a chaotic treadmill fall, and the split-second moment where he realizes he has a choice: let one mistake define him, or let it refine him. In this episode, he unpacks how the stories you tell yourself after a “fall”... in love, work, goals, or everyday life... quietly shape who you become in the new year. Through honest reflection, practical examples, and a journal prompt, he invites you to notice when your inner narrative is shrinking you, return to what you know is true about you, and choose a story that actually supports the version of yourself you’re trying to grow into. Music by DayFox.
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I have had a good laugh about it now, but right then, in that moment, I had options. I could turn it into proof that I'm the kind of person who doesn't have common sense enough to not attempt a wardrobe change while on a treadmill and carry that around like it says something about who I am. Or I could decide to turn it into something that actually helps me instead of belittles me and that lines up with my truth. It's a beautiful day here at the place where we learn to live with care, to move through the myths and the meaning, and to see ourselves a little clearer every time. It's your host, Donovan, and I'm so grateful that you're here with me today. I hope you're having the best day so far. And before we start, just a quick little reminder donations is a space for reflection and perspective. I'm not a therapist, I'm just sharing what's helped me heal and grow. So take what serves you and leave what doesn't. With that being said, I hope you're experiencing all good things, and I hope this finds you exactly when you needed it most. Any excuse to put on a quarterzip is a reason I can get behind. But when it comes to working out, that's when I start beefing with winter because I work out of my garage gym and it is absolutely not insulated. So the cold, especially the 30s and below, golly, it makes it hard to both get and stay warm. Plus, the equipment hurts to hold, like the barbell feels like a metal popsicle. It's ridiculous. My friends and I have been out there in it, like idiots, with our hoodies strung tied around our heads, trying to face away from the wind. Like, just unsure if it's the cold or the workout taking our breath away. Just seeing how many reps we can squeeze in before our hands tap out. 10 out of 10, do not recommend. So, naturally, I started getting innovative with indoor workouts. I'll drag my fan bike inside, maybe a couple of dumbbells or kettlebells, and even my plyo box sometimes, and I make it happen. It sounds crowded, but it's actually pretty fun. I'll even blast music on the surround sound, filling the whole house with it, and I'll do my little one-two-one-two, and like I said, I make it happen. We even purchased a treadmill recently, and it's been a godsend for improving my 5k time and for working on my long zone two runs. The other day I had a 50-minute zone two run programmed, and look, I've always loved running. Running has always been a thing for me, but I've always aimed for speed. I've always fluctuated between probably three and four miles, trying to increase my speed over the span of it. So sinking into a lower pace for 40, 45, 50 minutes, whatever it is, has never been my strong suit. But I'm working on it. So with that being programmed, I hopped on the treadmill and decided the best thing to sink into, if you know what I mean, was my heated rivalry audiobook. I'm trying to work my way through the book before the TV show ends. And the more I got lost in it on my run, envisioning the characters from the show as the narrator told the story, the more I was thinking, I'm definitely doing some squats or hip thrusts after this. I mean, right? Next thing you know, I checked the time, and it's nearing minute 40 on my run, and it's really starting to get hot. Me, not the book. I was wearing a hoodie and it was just about drenched by that time. So I made the genius decision to rid myself of it super fast while I was still on the treadmill. And lucky me, it got stuck on my big head when I was trying to pull it over, and my equilibrium was immediately shot. I was flailing all over the place, unable to see a damn thing, just trying to brace myself for impact. One foot eventually hit the ground, but the other just bent, and my knee hit the tread. And to instinctively catch myself, I just threw my hand down without even knowing what it was aiming for. And wouldn't you know it? My hand landed on the tread too. Only the tread took my hand with it and ran it under the side railing. Thank God I still have my fingers, but it cut them up pretty good. My adrenaline was running like crazy, and I just stood up really quick, all flustered, and just yanked my stupid damn hoodie off and hopped back on the treadmill to finish. But then the pain in my hand started and the bleeding got pretty bad, so I had to stop. I have had a good laugh about it now, but right then, in that moment, I had options. I could turn it into proof that I'm the kind of person who doesn't have common sense enough to not attempt a wardrobe change while on a treadmill and carry that around like it says something about who I am. Or I could decide to turn it into something that actually helps me instead of belittles me and that lines up with my truth. Same fall, same treadmill, completely different meaning. And that's really what I've been thinking about heading into 2026. How the stories I tell myself either pull me closer to who I'm trying to become next year or keep me stuck as the person I'm done being. Not the story other people tell about me. The one I start telling myself the second something happens. Because the fall is one thing. The story I attach to it is where it actually starts to shape me and the steps I take going forward. Now, I could have told this story in a way that makes it sound less like my own fault, less clumsy, and less Donovan, what were you thinking? But I didn't. I told it how it happened. And then I paid attention to what I wanted it to mean for me. On paper, yeah, it's just a little slip-up on a treadmill. Thank God it wasn't worse. It's not that deep. Except when you stand up after falling, whether physically or metaphorically, and your first instinct is to decide what this says about you, that's when it gets deep. Because this doesn't just happen on treadmills. It happens in relationships, at work, with friends, and when you're alone just minding your business. Something happens, big or small, and before you even come back to what you know is true about you, your brain has already decided what it proves. You trade who you are, the intentions you hold, and your whole heart for a story that's just a panicked interpretation of who you're not. When a relationship ends, maybe the first story you tell yourself is, see, I'm too much. Or I'm not enough. I'm hard to love. I'll be alone forever. Girl, no. Take a breather. You know your truth is more than that. You know you cared. You showed up. You tried. That's in you, whether it worked out or not. When you miss a deadline at work, the first story might be I'm not cut out for this. I'm behind everyone else. I'm a fraud. I am the definitive example of imposter syndrome. But your actual truth is that you're human. You're learning. And you've handled plenty more before this. One moment doesn't erase your whole track record. When you fail at a goal or fall short, the story might be, I never follow through. This is just who I am. But if you're honest, your truth is that you want better for yourself. Or you wouldn't even care that you missed it. Moments like these always sneak up on me when I'm trying to shower or make my bed, and it feels like they're happening in real time. But I've said a thousand times to myself and to you don't become your worst enemy and convince yourself that you are your mistakes. Don't be the person who contradicts and threatens to erase your truth. That snowball gets too big too quick. Shit like this always happens to me. And if I had let that run the show, that would have been the lens I saw the rest of my life through. Whatever happens to us in life, good, bad, painful, exciting, easy, or hard, it's our interpretation that decides whether we move forward or stay stuck suffering. That's why I stress just how important the story you tell yourself is.
SPEAKER_00:It shapes everything from here on out.
SPEAKER_01:And the closer 2026 gets, the more it feels like an opportunity to become who I've always wanted to be. How many times have we said this is gonna be our year? Only to find ourselves somewhere in June or July, wondering how it got to be such a shit show. I'm not trying to call you out either. This has been me plenty of times, plenty of years. But I'm tired of wondering when it's gonna be my time. I'm tired of it being a year I'm barely holding on to instead of one that I'm commanding and owning. 2026 is when I start drawing the boundaries I've been avoiding. It's when I cultivate and own my story and my truth. And that starts with catching on to when I'm overexplaining myself. All over explaining does is teach me to doubt myself. So I'm gonna say it once, clearly, and let that be enough. Like I said, our interpretation decides whether something is good or bad in life. And we can only control ours. Energy spent trying to control what someone else's perception might be is a complete waste of time. Life is too short for that shit. Either people trust your intentions and your heart, or they don't. There's space to meet in the middle, right? Not a demand to over-explain until the story appeases someone else. And just to be clear, when I say your truth, I don't mean doubling down on being toxic and calling it honesty. If the story you're telling yourself keeps giving you permission to hurt people or never change, that's not truth. That's just self-justification in a cute outfit. The kind of truth I'm talking about is one that holds you accountable and still helps you grow. The story that challenges you and supports you in who you're becoming, not the one that keeps you stuck. And speaking of stuck, we're not choosing unhealthy environments in the new year. Staying in draining rooms slowly lowers your standards for your whole life. And I don't want that for you as much as I don't want it for me. Start spending more time in spaces and with people that actually support who you're trying to become. Give yourself the permission to cultivate those spaces too. Your spaces should be contributing just as much as you are. I'm literally planning a revamp of my home office and my bedroom and my garage gym as we speak. Is it in the budget? Maybe not, but that's not the point. The point is that it feels like I have all the space needed to be who I want to be in them, physically and metaphorically, even if said budget only has enough room to just rearrange. We don't need all new things. We're not trying to impress anyone, we're not living for other people's opinions in 2026. That keeps us playing small. Let's start choosing what feels true to us, even if no one else gets it.
SPEAKER_00:Deal? Deal pickle. It might all sound a little cliche, I know, but I'm a sucker for a fresh start.
SPEAKER_01:In reality, though, that fresh start can always be right here, right now. You can always ask yourself if the story you're telling yourself actually lines up with your truth and with who you are and who you're trying to become. Or if it's just the loudest, harshest voice in the room. I honestly kind of wish I would have taken a picture of my hands when I fell on the treadmill, but I honestly didn't even think about it. I was just trying not to bleed out or faint. I don't know how some people's first thought is to take out their phone and hit record when something like that happens. If that's your first instinct, make sure you're recording a story you can look back on and actually make something good out of. At the end of the day, it really is just a fall on a treadmill. The bruises are practically faded by now, and my hands healed. And the hoodie is probably still where I finally threw it off once I stood back up. But the story I decided to attach to it is what I'm taking with me into 2026. Same fall, same treadmill, completely different meaning.
SPEAKER_00:And that meaning is what decides who I get to become next. Alright, friend, grab your journal and write this one out with me.
SPEAKER_01:What's one fall from this past year? Big or small? Physically or metaphorically? And what story did you tell yourself about what it meant about you? If you were being honest about your truth and who you're trying to become in the new year, what story would you choose instead?
SPEAKER_00:That's it for today's episode.
SPEAKER_01:If this landed for you, share it with someone who might be stuck in a rough story about themselves, or tag me and tell me what part hit hardest for you. Also, taking the time to leave a review on the show's page wherever you're listening means the world to me and helps the show out more than you know. Take care of yourself, take care of your people, and remember, the fall is one thing, but the story you tell yourself about it, that's where your next version lives.
SPEAKER_00:Until the next one.