You are not late. You are on a different road.

When was the last time you felt quietly embarrassed about where you are?

Not out loud. Just a scroll through Instagram. Someone asking what's next for you. A moment where your stomach dropped and you thought, I know I should be further than this.

This episode is an honest conversation about what that feeling actually is, what it does to your decisions, and why the timeline you are measuring yourself against might not even be yours.

You are not late. You are on a different road.

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Transcript

Hey, can I ask you something? Honestly, like me and you, let's have an honest conversation. When was the last time you said to yourself, I feel embarrassed? And it's not like you said it in public, maybe you thought to yourself it was just an internal statement. Or maybe you were on your bed and you're thinking, you're scrolling through Instagram or scrolling through the internet one evening, and after that scroll you're like, I know I should be further than this.

Right? And maybe it could have happened when you had a conversation with someone or when somebody asked you, so what's next for you?

And then maybe your stomach dropped or your chest tightened a bit. Now let's pause here and I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to notice how that makes you feel, right?

What's next for you? What are the plans you have, for yourself? Now, how did that make you feel? Did your stomach tighten? Did your stomach drop? Did your chest tighten a bit? , Did you get tense? Did you clench your jaw? That is comparison entering your nervous system. Right? And here's something I want you to know. That doesn't mean that you're lazy. It doesn't mean that you are unmotivated.

It actually means that you're carrying pressure. Now I'm sharing this because I remember sitting down one evening after coming back to Canada. The house was quiet and I thought, how am I here again? And it wasn't in a dramatic way, but it was in a close to tears way, because from the math in my head, if you know me, I can be very analytical.

I like my data, I like my docs in a row. In that moment, I was looking at my life based on my age, based on timeline, based on expectations. People my age, are established, they have children, they have thriving businesses, they have careers, they have things going on well for them, seemingly, but I'm here and I'm rebuilding again.

Ooh. I didn't feel empowered. I felt late, and that was the word that was with me that day. It's like, Keren, you are behind. You are late, right? I didn't feel incapable. I felt. Late and late feels heavy because it implies that you've missed something. There was a door that closed or you weren't fast enough, but here's what I had to confront that day.

After sitting with that emotion for a bit and I asked myself, okay, I'm late, but according to who? Is it the version of me that I was before I was sick, or the version of me that never got sick, or the version of me before my life changed,

or is it the version of me that had to relearn basic things like learning how to stand, learning how to walk, learning how to be independent again. By myself in a new country away from my support system. And the truth is that version of me doesn't exist anymore. Let me tell you, when I came to Canada, came back, last year, late summer, I had to realize that so many things that I'd gotten used to over 10 years had changed and it took.

I grieved the life that I lost because that version of me doesn't exist anymore. So why am I measuring myself against her? Because she doesn't exist anymore. I don't even know who she's anymore. I can't comprehend how amazing she used to be, but now I am. Me and I have new constraints, so. When I feel like I'm behind, something happens physically.

You feel rushed internally. Your thoughts speed up. You start calculating, how can I catch up? What move do I have to make to prove that I'm not stuck in one place?

What decisions do I have to make to make me look like, I'm making it in life to make it look like I'm moving ahead. Right? And that is urgency and it's not ambition. It is fear, it is anxiety, and fear makes people make decisions that are costly. So those decisions could cost you financially, emotionally, energetically, even psychologically, because being behind feels intolerable.

But so what if you're behind? So what if you have a few roadblocks on your way?. Like illnesses, like caregiving, like immigration, like grief, like recovery, starting over quietly while pretending you are fine. Sorry. Um, those things that don't show up on LinkedIn. But here's the thing. All these things that I mentioned, caregiving, grief, recovery, career setbacks. They cost time and time is not wasted just because it wasn't visible. The time you take to take care of family, the time you take to, work out your immigration things, the time that you took to, do the things in a meanwhile while everybody's life was going ahead, doesn't mean that you're behind it just.

Means that you are on a different path, and if you are listening to this and you're thinking, I know I'm capable, I just feel late, let's ground that, you know? So here's what I want you to do. Put your feet on the floor.

All right, take a breath.

You are not competing with who you used to be or the life you used to live. You are not running against somebody else's , expectations. Nobody has lived your life for you. You're the only one living your life.

So why are you borrowing other people's timelines? That's the question I'm asking you today. Why are you borrowing other people's timelines, why are you taking on other people's idea of progress and owning it as your own? Now, ask yourself something simple. If no one else's life was visible for a year, you couldn't see anybody else's life and you're just doing life by yourself.

What would progress look like for you? , It doesn't have to be impressive. It doesn't have to be loud. It doesn't have to be up to anybody else's standard. Just what would progress look like for you? And I want you to answer that honestly between yourself and God.

Sit with that for a moment.

And here's the thing. I can tell you all these things, but sometimes what you need is not more advice. It is space. It is space long enough to hear yourself thinking without comparison, screaming over it, right? And if you've ever felt that you need that the link is there for you whenever you're ready.

Now in the next time you see me here, we'll be talking about what happens after this realization. , Once you admit that you are not behind and you have to decide what to do next, and when that feels scary, when it feels risky, when it feels like some things are at stake. That's what we're gonna be talking about in the next episode.

And just a reminder, you are not late. You just have a different path, a different road that you're working on, and different roads must move at different speeds.

When you think like that, you understand that you truly are not behind. You are just traveling down a different road. So I'll see you the next episode.