Do you remember the first time you asked yourself if you were old? I was in 4th grade. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought— wow, look how much has changed. And in a year, I’ll be off to middle school. Where is the time going??
By 12 I was already contemplating mortality and the meaning of life, unsure but determined to make my one life count. With each passing year, I would bemoan the past and hang on to the good times, crafting scrapbooks and three-ring binders full of pictures taken of my friends, adding graphics and quotes clipped from my favorite magazines. I was too young for nostalgia yet knew the feeling deeply.
Not much has changed. In my twenties, I was desperately aware the expiration date on my carefree lifestyle was coming to a close and was about to really understand what a privilege it was to have that my free meal ticket and college tuition provided by my parents. Real life hit hard, as it is designed to, and my relationship with time soured. Time was a resource that was finite, much like my access to cash at 22, and while I could work my way out the building credit card debt, there was nothing I could do to regain the time slipping through my fingers.
Selfishly, this is why I wanted to tackle the topic of Age this month. I spent so much of my 34th year around the sun mentally preparing myself for turning 35, last year feels fuzzy and sadly, a bit unfulfilling if I’m being honest. So much of my dialogue was negative and self-pity. Things will never get easier with the kids. I’m too old to wear that. I’m too fat for this. I’ll never look as good as I did before kids. I’m invisible. My opinion doesn’t matter.
MY ADVICE ON TACKLING YOUR OWN AGEISM IS THIS:
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