Biz Shiz with Shani Timms
Biz Shiz is the podcast for open & honest chats about the REAL SHIZ that goes on in biz.
This is THE business podcast for Soul-Led entrepreneurs who are ready to do business differently. I am here to help you bridge the gap between old school business & modern day spirituality, where we weave the WooWoo, ToDo & the delulu.
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Biz Shiz with Shani Timms
Baby Proof Biz feat. Katee Gray on Systemising & Streamlining Parenthood & Business
Welcome to our last episode in the Baby Proof Biz podcast mini series...
We have my friend and client, Katee Gray on the show as she shares her journey balancing motherhood and business as a solopreneur, offering insights and practical tips for women navigating both worlds simultaneously.
• Find what works for you rather than following others' approaches
• Look at both personal resources (postpartum doulas, meal trains) and professional support (VAs, business managers)
• Be a "calendar ninja" by shifting from 90% scheduled/10% flexible to 50/50 in early parenthood
• Automate business processes so you're "easy to buy" even when less accessible
• Create a personal "playbook" outlining how people can best support you, especially your team
• Essentials for feeding sessions and being "nap trapped"
• Your nervous system directly impacts your child's wellbeing - how to prioritise your emotional regulation
• Have multiple backup plans (A, B, C, D) rather than one rigid approach
• Set firm boundaries around working hours based on your wellbeing
• The biggest lesson of motherhood is surrender - both in parenting and business
We hope you LOVE the episode...
Love Shani x
About Katee:
Katee is a coach and facilitator who supports expert-led businesses to create sustainable growth by aligning people, processes, and communication (without the burnout factor). Drawing from her background in health science and psychology, plus her experience as Head of Operations at Thought Leaders Business School, she transforms overwhelming operations into intelligent systems that reduce complexity and enhance client experience.
Her clients gain more mental space, clearer decision-making processes, and renewed energy to focus on what matters most - their client impact and wellbeing.
FREEBIES : https://kateegray.com/freebies
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Katie Gray, welcome to the Biz Shiz podcast. Thanks.
Speaker 2:This is pretty cool. I haven't done a podcast in a long time because motherhood and business, yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1:That's right, and that is exactly what we're here to talk about motherhood business. As you know, this segment of the podcast is called Baby Proof Biz and, as we were talking about before, it's I it's a bit of a tongue in cheek thing, right, I don't think you can ever fully baby proof your business, but speaking to so many women, um, like they want to know how it's, like we can still have a successful business and, you know, be an amazing mom and, like, try as best as we can to to balance all the things. So I just thought why not bring in the big guns, you know, get you in here and just learn from the best in the biz about how we can really balance babies and business. So if you're right with that, let's get into it.
Speaker 2:Totally Off the bat, though. I don't have all the answers, because every baby's different, every mom is different, every business is different, and I think we probably don't even need to listen to the whole episode. If you could just take away this one message would be find what works for you, don't worry about what everyone else is doing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's such a good note to preface and like I don't think these are going to be gospel episodes that it's like you have to follow this by the book. But I do want it to be super expansive and just give you know women ideas about different things and hacks that they could try and do and kind of dispel a few of the myths of like oh, I thought it was going to be like this, but it was actually like this. So I thought a really good place to start. Why don't we dive into what is it you do and your beautiful probably not so baby now, but Bodhi, and just a little almost like getting everyone up to speed on like where you're at.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so Bodhi is five. I've mostly been a solopreneur business owner for 15 odd years doing multiple different things. So early career I specialized in health professionals and their business systems and supporting them. I've got a background in health science and psychology and then I went and worked for Thought Leaders Business School and became head of operations. So after five years there I've been out on my own again in business land.
Speaker 2:So I've experienced both worlds in terms of the juggle, and I currently support expert-led businesses or solopreneurs in optimizing their systems and just taking away complexity, bringing simplicity, as that applies to how you run things, how you reach your audience and how you market yourself and position yourself in a way that suits one your nervous system to your life, whether you've got kids or not, and so for me I have to be a calendar ninja. My husband is a firefighter, so that's eight day roster. I can't do the same thing every Monday, I can't do the same thing every Friday, and so that's another place where I bring a bit of a unique lens to this is I've had to try lots of different things to see what works.
Speaker 1:I love that and I'm so a calendar ninja as well. I think that it's such a good tool. So can you tell us a bit about like your expectations kind of moving into, you know, motherhood and like what we kind of setting up on that side of having a baby? Yeah, I know this is five years ago so I'm stretching your mind, but I would love to know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I've supported a number of people in doing this in terms of transitioning to parenthood as a business owner. So it's not just from my perspective, but ultimately it's leaning on support and it's getting help and it's not trying to do it all yourself. And I would look at whether you need to resource yourself personally, professionally or both. So, personally, that might be looking at having a postpartum doula. So that is something I would absolutely do differently. I had a birth doula and that was exceptional and I wouldn't change that. But I would extend that into the postpartum period. Mine was in the pandemic, so birth just before and became a mum through that whole thing. So also unique in that respect. And then looking at so, if that's the personal side um, a postpartum doula or meal trains and all those things in your personal world, and get that nice and tight. And then professionally, is it a virtual assistant or a business manager or contractors and people that you can lean on, or is it a fellow business owner that you can lean on so that either your clients aren't having a huge break in service and they can continue and someone that you trust in that respect? So yeah, looking at what's the ratio of personal support versus professional support that I need to make this happen and, knowing that every birth is different and every baby is different, you can have a plan and it will change.
Speaker 2:I don't know anyone's plan that hasn't changed and it's. There's a lot of fluidity. So I definitely I was someone that was very structured, very planned. I'm a project planner and exceptional calendar skills and organization skills, but what I hadn't had a lot of practice in was what that looks like when it all gets thrown out so sick kids, shift changes, pandemics, all the things and so it was much more about learning to be far more adaptable and fluid. And so I think if I had more practice in that, it wouldn't matter what the plan was or the tools or the systems, just that attitude of being agile to whatever's getting thrown at you and settling my nervous system into that. I hadn't had a lot of practice. Settling my nervous system into that. I hadn't had a lot of practice and I think it would have been easier if I had more tools around.
Speaker 2:Natalie, yeah, I worked it out and it was fine. But well, was it fine?
Speaker 1:probably not but you made it work regardless.
Speaker 2:I made it work, but it did take a toll. Like there's that postnatal depletion that's, um, really prevalent and I think it work, but it did take a toll, like there's that postnatal depletion that's really prevalent, and I think it's a question of yes, I think, as a female business owner, we can choose to get shit done and we will, but at what cost? So is it a cost to our nervous system? Is it a cost to, like, our hormonal depletion and our sleep? Is it a cost to our relationships? Is it a cost to our child as well, um, if we're disconnected or checked out?
Speaker 1:so that would be what I would have liked, more in my mind yeah, I think, um, letting go of control I know personally is a is a big part is a big part for me that I'm moving through Like I love you know, I love my schedule and I love my plan and I know that letting go of that is going to be a huge part of motherhood, because there's so many things you can't control. It's like you can't control a screaming baby when you've got a podcast or you know there's so much that we can't control. So you spoke about tools right, having tools to be able to be agile. What do those look like? Do you feel that you've adapted to these tools now and like, maybe like some practical takeaways for the listeners.
Speaker 2:For me, that's more inner work and tools, so it's more sitting in the meditation and the mindfulness of what is this here to teach me.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I love that Doing that work from a tools perspective, um, but then on a practical level it's um. Let's say, previously I could schedule 90 of my week with 10 flexibility. It's more like 50, 50 in those early days and then you gradually creep up but would never be more than 80. There's definitely got to be 20 flex um and space. So where previously um buffer time was in there but it wasn't the highest priority we're scheduling, whereas now buffer time is everything and fluidity and flexibility is everything, um, and then also the permission to let people down and the permission to say no yeah, that's huge and the permission to pause.
Speaker 2:So they are lessons I would have loved to learn earlier on in my motherhood journey. Um, the permission to say no and not do so much. I definitely had the mindset of here to prove something to myself and others, and it would have been much easier on my psyche to not have such high expectations of myself. It's not helpful for the child, like from a nervous system point of view. I didn't appreciate, and what I didn't know going into motherhood was how much they would feed off how I was feeling, or he would feed off that, and so my energy and my nervous system become number one because that's then going to flow onto him.
Speaker 1:Can you? It sounds like you learned this the hard way Can you? Can you give us maybe some examples of like, of maybe how Bodhi was feeling when you were in the height of work stress, or how did that sort of unfold that you learned that lesson?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was further down the track, so that was probably when he was one and I transitioned to more consistent work. So for me I actually found the earlier days easier. So the newborn pandemic not going out and doing anything, and I was working sort of 10 to 15 hours a week. From the three month mark my initial plan was to wait to four to five. The pandemic changed that because everything that was happening meant that there was lots of flex and change going on and I needed to jump in earlier. I wouldn't change that.
Speaker 2:That was fine, it was just yeah, once he was one and I was back to say 25 hours a week, I'll never work full timetime. I haven't worked full-time for a really long time, even before motherhood. Um, it's just not my jam and uh, back to 25. And so what I noticed was he was grumpy, he was grouchy, he was, he had a lot of anger and then. So we fed off that with each other and he was really frustrated and I initially was like, oh, this is about him not being able to communicate effectively or he's learning new things, and I made it about his growth and what he was going through.
Speaker 1:But in hindsight I feel like it was so much more than that yeah yeah, and they're so they're so intuitive and they're so attuned to how you're feeling and it's like they really are. You know and I'm not a mum, but I had a lot of younger siblings but they are a mirror of what you're experiencing. You are a mum. By the way, I am becoming a mum. So like what were the fears that were really coming up for you pre-baby right, like you're going in? Were you thinking, no, I've got this, this is all good. Or were you like who will I become in the process of becoming a mum? What will happen to my work, my business, my career? Like what were some of those fears that you were really moving through?
Speaker 2:I was so focused on birth and proof. I ghost in hindsight and while I had the books on the postpartum period and breastfeeding, they got put to the bottom of the pile. So to the planning of the postpartum period and breastfeeding prep. Then I would birth. Well, that's a big event. The postpartum to me is much bigger and I didn't get that messaging back then. And so what was I afraid of? What was I afraid of?
Speaker 2:So I'm really taking you back there yeah, can I guess it's it goes to. Can I still be a successful business owner?
Speaker 2:and also exceptional brain as a parent and there are some days where my brain capacity has been absolutely worked out from sleep deprivation and my clients have not noticed.
Speaker 2:Only I notice and we're far more harder on ourselves than anyone else would be, and people get it.
Speaker 2:People are compassionate to this and what I've learned along the way is if I'm working with people who are not compassionate to a baby needing to be come in and fed or managing you know the juggle if a kid runs in the office or whatever, then they're not the right client for me and so I stopped worrying about the expectation of that and I think what's a little bit unique about what I do from what I've seen and I don't take my laptop to, say, indoor play centers well, or you would go and play and try and punch out work in that way. That's not the way I enmesh baby in business or child in business for me. I'm very. I block out time. I'm in here and this is focused and centered and this is where I am and I don't have both going concurrently. So that's the way I've always done it. It does mean, yes, I have less work capacity, but that means that I structure my business and my pricing and my offering and my clients around that and our financial goals yeah, talk me through.
Speaker 1:Just talk me through the benefits of that. Like I know that there's obvious ones, right, but like from an emotional availability, you know standpoint and like you know the connection that you're building standpoint and like you know the connection that you're building with Bodhi, talk me through the benefits of how that's really like shifted things for you guys. Got some chills.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's really big. So I'm deeply inspired and informed by the work of Marianne Rose and Lay of Stone, with Conscious and Awareness, and I wasn't aware of that in pregnancy or prior. It was a natural evolution that happened and I like full-time daycare just was never for us. I didn't want to go down that path and I want to, and it's not about having it all, but I did want a way that I could utilise my expertise and have an impact on the world and people and raise this human in a really conscious way. And I'm not professing to have done that perfectly or brilliantly, but I'm really happy with what we've done and the difference that that's made is. His emotional intelligence is just gorgeous. He's very energetically connected and in tune and intuitive and caring and loving.
Speaker 2:We had his fifth birthday last week and for the party favors we did like sustainable and recyclable etc. And we grew some sunflowers so that sort of took three weeks before. And then he wanted to go to crystal world and he chose an individual crystal for each person. He didn't want the same and he was so intentional with which crystal was for which person and when he ended up giving them to him, the kids they were like oh, that's my favorite color, or there was something about them that he knew that I didn't.
Speaker 2:So there's those impacts, there's the fact that this is what I found the most challenging is that I wasn't the primary caregiver, but neither was my husband. We were both there, so his shifts do enable him to be home a lot. So once we were past that year of breastfeeding, then it became much more, pretty much 50-50. In terms of care, and I've seen that have a tremendous impact on him, especially as a little boy with his dad and the security and sense that that gives him as he gets older. It means that I get left behind. Like that's just part of the natural relationship. Boy. I wish I knew more about that before. Yeah, like raising a boy, god, that's another one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a whole other episode.
Speaker 2:Yeah, gradual letting go. Yeah, sorry, went on a tangent, lost, myself there.
Speaker 1:No, that's so fine. No, so fine. I would love to like. I'm so one for a hack, an efficiency hack. What would you recommend for you know, say, women who are pregnant now and they know they're going to be giving birth in you know three to six months, or whatever it might be? What are some like practical hacks they can maybe implement in their schedule or their calendars or their business that are really going to be beneficial as they transition into that next chapter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you need to be easy to buy, and so that means breaking down barriers to book you or purchase you and making it a really clean experience. And that's you. That's why I engaged you for Branded and Say because you were super easy to buy. But by the time people got back to me, you and I were booked in, love it. So that would be yeah, being that you can still be accessible, while you're not as accessible as a parent in the way that you set up system.
Speaker 2:So the hack would be automate, which I know you've spoken about before. Automate where possible. So online calendar bookings, auto responses, um, auto confirmations, and you can embed personality into that. Don't use the standard templates like bring your essence into that so it's impactful. Um, bring your motherhood experience into those communications. It's like, um, you might hear a baby, um in the background. That's so and so, um, and just yeah, bring the acknowledgement and ownership to that. Other hacks for preparation is so, if you do have a support team, so a virtual assistant or a business manager or anyone supporting you, a password manager.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, that's so good. It's not like 20 million passwords for 20 million different things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I see this create a lot of havoc and time wasting and energy wasting for a lot of business owners when they're suddenly needing support and they're needing to be available for two-factor authentication and all this hoo-ha that you just want to be present with your baby. But if you can yeah, if you're in that matricence transition and pregnant I'd be cleaning up those sorts of things so that everything's really accessible and they don't need to ask you questions. Something I do with business owners is called a playbook, so it's like a user guide to working with you and understanding how you receive help and how you ask for help and, if you're not aware, then being able to bring that out of you so you can communicate it more effectively. And so what that looks like in the playbook is we work through like how do you build trust? What erodes your trust? What builds your energy? How can someone help you when you're just floundering and not feeling yourself?
Speaker 2:What are your like guilty pleasures and favourite food? What are your meeting preferences? What are your communication preferences Like for me from a work level? I don't like my team messaging me, I just like to keep it in my work platforms and speaking of with phones if they are going to be contacting you on the phone using the feature you know how you've got do not disturb on an iPhone and setting up the profiles for work or home and they can automatically switch, and so that way any notification for either clients or team members don't get pushed through when I'm in home mode.
Speaker 1:That's so good, so it's almost just like it's just that filtration system to like. What am I available for right now? Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2:The luxury of being able to have set days and times that that happens. It's really easy because it can automatically switch on. My life doesn't work like that, so it does take me switching it to that mode and being accountable to that. Yeah, that helps a lot.
Speaker 1:I love this idea of a playbook and I've heard Ramit Sethi talk about this. I don't know if you know him as an amazing finance expert in America somewhere. Have you ever done one with you and your hubby to like a playbook for how we parent, Like it's like? These are the day like. I'm assuming that you guys have a lot of, like you know, standards and things that kind of make life a bit easier. Can you talk us through some of those things that might be in the playbook with you guys?
Speaker 2:Yeah, look, I have the dream. I don't want to tell too many people about this, but he's an exceptional artist. He does a lot and so, honestly, if I look at how I've been able to do what I do in terms of growing and running a business and doing all the things, it's largely because of him and that's where the exceptional support comes in. So, for me, when I am supported and have scaffolding, personally, professionally, I fly that's so good.
Speaker 2:I don't need much professionally in the way of support too, so that's how I work. But, yeah, a parenting playbook would be gold, like if you could have that discussion of and you won't know this before getting into it. But maybe there's a check-in process. You know month one, six um month four. By the way, no one warned me about one month four. Yeah, it's not about like, just you wait, it's more about I didn't appreciate how much things would change so rapidly. Um, and there was a lot of talk about the first six weeks, the newborn phase, but not much after that from my experience. And so when you're setting up work structures, like I was like, oh, from month three I'll work 10 hours and from this month I'll go to this, and it was all very structured and I was like, no, it didn't work that way. It didn't work that way at all. Um, sorry, what was the question you asked?
Speaker 1:no well, I was just wondering what happens in month four, like what's? What? Is it a developmental leap or something like that that occurs?
Speaker 2:And look, I'm not saying this is for everyone, but it just seems to be a significant point. I think it's also because the primary support start to drop away. Usually, the doulas and the midwives and all those roles have started to fall away and you're on as parents, you're on your own feet and you're being left to your own devices a bit and you're starting to go back to work. And um my husband, unfortunately, the only downfall of his job is there isn't um paternity leave like it's. I think it's 10 days or something silly crazy. I could change that if I could.
Speaker 2:Definitely yeah talk to someone about that. Um, yeah, but a playbook for parenting on your preferences, like um little hacks. That did help me, actually, and I do this for new mums now. I love doing um this. I don't know if you've got got it in New South Wales, but there's a team of um seven sisters here in Victoria, so it's a a voluntary thing that I've done twice. I didn't know about it when I was a new mum, but you get seven people, so one person per day that rocks up and does something for you in the way of support, so it could be putting a load of washing on stacking the dishwasher like the simplest things.
Speaker 1:Oh, they make the world of difference difference.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so good. Um, so, yeah, creating the preferences around what makes a difference to you, like rubbing my feet or unstacking the dishwasher, like what really settles your nervous system and helps you and what are the signs of that. You're, you know, teetering on the edge, because everyone's got different signs for that, and so what I was going there with was a trolley. I usually do for new mums, so like a three-tier trolley that has everything you need on it, from your pump to lip balm, to nipple stuff, to water bottle maybe your laptop or an ipad, yep, snacks, books, just every nappies wipes the whole thing, so it just moves around the house wherever you are.
Speaker 2:So if you end up feeding, that can get wheeled to you and you've just got everything you need and you're not yet. Or you get nap trapped and you're needing to sleep in one spot for, or sit there for three hours. Um, I chose not to work in those situations when I was not trapped. Um, and it's not trapped, it's a terrible word actually um, I, I did choose to just rest. Do recall some shopping um purchases. Just arriving at some point, I was like I don't remember doing that.
Speaker 2:It was like 2am under a sleep of newborn, um, yeah. So that's what I would recommend is just being fluid, having the resources there, but that communication piece with partner, yes, and team, it goes both ways um and it seems like you've got a system for most things, which I love, and I love how your brain works.
Speaker 1:It almost feels like how you operated, you know, in business. It's like you took a lot of these principles and it's like, okay, well, we can apply this to you know motherhood and parenthood as well, which I think is so good, and what Blake and I are doing now. It's like we're obviously making a plan but, as you said, the plan never eventuates. But what I fall back on is I would much prefer to have a plan than no plan and it go to shit and then then not have anything and just sort of be flying by the seat of my pants. Um, so I've so loved all these hacks. Is there anything you feel that we haven't covered for? You know, um, mums to be, or mums who are in that first sort of newborn phase? Um, and they're trying to work like, think about going back into business so what you touched on there with plans brings up something.
Speaker 2:So I used to specialize in hormone health for athletes and so when we were doing race planning and prep we would always have a plan that went from A, B, C and D. So in your plan it's like, okay, this is the A plan and if we go off tangent, then we jump to the B plan.
Speaker 1:So, yes, be planned, but have variations, and I think, post pandemic, we're all better at that, definitely, yeah, and and I kind of like that you just said it's like, okay, you can have like the best case scenario. And then it's like it kind of comes down from there. I remember listening to a podcast and you know this lady was like you know, you plan for the perfect week. It's like I actually plan for the imperfect week, cause I know that anything that happens, you know I've I've got a plan for it and I kind of thought that's like an interesting way, especially moving into motherhood, when there's so many unknowns. It's like how can you still have a plan when shit hits the fan, which I kind of? I kind of love the idea of.
Speaker 2:Anyway, you might be nodding, being like you're so naive, just you, just you wait. But and I hate that, no, there's no naivety, it's just also, um, I mean, the biggest lesson of motherhood for me was surrender. Yeah, there is that in business too, and in terms of like, surrendering to it's let's say, you, um, you put out a new launch or you send out a proposal, it's like it's surrendering that you've given your best and communicated your message and your impact effectively and the energy will take care of the rest. And surrendering to that and you can't control what comes back or what you put out on socials, et cetera. And motherhood is similar.
Speaker 2:My other advice or thoughts is I really I think more of us, the world would be a better place if we can do parenting and business with that consciousness in mind, consciousness for ourselves too. Like my heart really hurts when mums are having to work from, say, 8 pm to 2 am to make it work. Um, I went through significant burnout twice before the age of 30 and I was not going to let that happen again. There was a big, significant part of choosing to get pregnant was having that bolstered vitality and being really robust, and so I I hate like that was a really hard thing to go through, but it means that I've got very firm boundaries on what.
Speaker 2:I won't put my body through, and working at night is one of them. Having a background in hormone health means that I just know too much about the vaccine and poor nutrition and all those things, um, yeah, so I think if things are going astray and difficult for a new bub, um, and you're in problem solving mode, I would, I would look to you first as mum and go what do you you need for your nervous system and for your vitality and for your health, and that will transfer and carry through for your child as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's such a beautiful reminder and, as you said before, it's like you are the emotional anchor for your kids, right? So it's like if we can be okay, it's like they've got a better chance of being okay. It starts with us. I feel like there's been so many permission slips in this, I think. I think my favorite is just like permission slip for it to kind of be messy and be be okay with that. So I am so grateful for your time and I know that so many you know whether they're planning for a baby or having a baby or have had a baby and you know thinking ahead for second babes or third or whatever. I know they're going to be so grateful for your time and your insights. Tell us how we can kind of get in your world and anything's coming up for you that we can get a part of.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I primarily play over in LinkedIn from a professional space. So if you're looking for operations tips and getting support tips, I mentor business managers and I do client experience design workshops primarily, and then my personal life's mostly over on Instagram and my website's katiegreycom Katie with a double e yes, amazing.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you so much for your time and for everyone who's tuned in. We will see you on the next episode. Thanks, honey.
