Parshas Vayigash: Spoiled Rotten Brat

Discover the profound spiritual lessons within Parshas Vayigash as we navigate Yehuda's earnest plea and Yosef's poignant revelation. What if the actual value of mitzvot could transform your spiritual journey, awakening your heart amidst life's challenges? This episode promises to uncover the wisdom of Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzatto, guiding you towards a vibrant spiritual existence even in the face of modern-day struggles, from marital strife to emotional suffering. Join us as we explore how these ancient teachings can light a path through today's tumultuous world, offering solace and inspiration.

In the second half, we delve into the essence of gratitude through the teachings of the Ramchal, shedding light on appreciating life's most miniature miracles. By challenging the mindset of entitlement and embracing gratitude, even amidst adversity, we find the inspiration to cherish each moment as an undeserved gift. Learn to see the intricacies of life and health with fresh eyes, fueled by the mindset of "ketointi mikol achasodim." Together, let's embark on this journey of gratitude, recognizing our wealth in health, love, and existence and igniting a new sense of purpose every day.

Chapters

• 0:00 Weekly Parsha Podcast Discussion
• 6:20 Debt of Gratitude
• 26:48 Embracing Gratitude for Life

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Parshas Vayigash pretty much goes like this Yehuda appeals to Yosef for Binyamin's release. Yosef totally moved by his brother's loyalty. Yosef is overcome with emotion and reveals his identity, saying, quote I am Yosef, is my father still alive? The brothers hurry back to Canaan to tell Yaakov about what had happened, brings down his family along with 70 people to Mitzrayim. He is reunited with Yosef after 22 painful years. 22 painful years. God promises and reassures Yaakov that fear not to go down to Egypt, for I will make you great among the nations, a great nation there. Paro grants Yaakov's family a small little lakewood-type suburb of Egypt named Goshen for them to go about their practices in solitude and privacy, which in turn allows the Jewish children of Yaakov to prosper in Egypt, which leads us straight into Sefer Shemos or Parsha Vayichi, before it turns into Sefer Shemos. That's the Parsha in short. In incredibly short and for an unpacking and explaining of many of the concepts that are featured in Parshas Vayichash, scroll back up to other talks of the weekly Parsha podcast or the Motivation Congregation podcast, because in this episode there's a very pressing matter to discuss, something that's been irking me for a little bit of time and something that is quite timely and really must be discussed and it cannot wait until next week. You know there are a lot of people suffering in the world. It's been that way for a long time. A lot of people stuck in bad marriages, childless, moneyless, emotional pain, physical pain, tsaris, agmas nefesh, emotional turmoil. There's really no end to it. A nebuch, it's rampant Tsaris, a rampant bezman hazeh. And if you were tasked with the job of gathering up all the people that are suffering in life, putting them into one room, writing a speech and delivering it to them to try to cheer them up, I ask you, on the spot, right here and now, what would you say If you asked me? I would have no idea. It's a tough spot to be in. Hard to even convince happy people and prosperous, progressive, ever-vescently advancing people to be happy, let alone those that are suffering, those that feel bound by the pain in their heart, those that feel bound by the pain in their heart. But when put on the spot, the great Rav Moshe Chaim Lutzato delivers in his Muslim classic Masih al-Shasharm, in chapter 8, a paragraph that really is addressed to a group of struggling people.

Speaker 1: 3:47

Messias of Sharon was actually author to the common folk, those around the 1700s going through Tsarist, trying to just get the basics of Judaism. Reminding those that are succeeding, but reminding those that, in the middle of Gullahies in the diaspora, what their obligations are and how to come to terms with it and be inspired, live even an enthusiastic celebration inside of their life, no matter what was going on. His words, rabbi Moshe Chaim Lutzato they echo through time. I'd like to deliver it to you today. It's a hard message, it's a powerful message. It's not always made to rub everyone the right way, definitely if it was from my esophagus, but remember it's a powerful idea and Ramchal says it. Rub everyone the right way, definitely if it was from my esophagus, but remember it's a powerful idea and Ramchal says it, so you can blame him If you're not a suffering person. Well then, I propose to you today the weekly Parsha podcast and outlook on life that will teach you how to live an enthusiastic, service-filled life directed towards serving the Almighty.

Speaker 1: 5:15

Chapter 8, messiah Shasharim says that when a man comes to realize as the truth the great value of the mitzvot and the greatness of his obligation in them, his heart will indeed be awakened. You will not be lax in it. So what are we to do to intensify this rousing and inspiring, to bring us to serving Hashem, running to davening, saying to heal him, with serving Hashem, running to davening, saying Tehillim with his la'avos, crying during Rashmona Estreis and shaking our lulav as if we had just won the World Series after a hundred years of failure, says Ramchal. The answer is la'hagber. His oras hazeh. The answer is One answer.

Speaker 1: 6:20

Just look into the many benefits that the Holy One, blessed be he, does with man. Just look into the many benefits that the Holy One, blessed be he, does with man, every single second. Just look at how much you are given, the miracles that are done for you from the very day of your birth until your very last day. Ki kol ma she yarbe lestake l'uzbonim, bedvarim ma'ela, every single piece of depth that you unfold, uncover and unearth to be able to see deeper into how much you have received from God. L'uzbonim, and pondered it, bedvarim eila, each little step forward, every baby step deeper. Hi ne yarbe l'hakir l'atzmo. Step forward, every baby step deeper.

Speaker 1: 7:06

It will, in turn, that recognition inspire and arouse a person, his great obligation and his enormous debt to God, who bestows good on him. Incredible words, in short, recognition of the good that you have. It shows you wow, I better get to work because I owe a lot. But you may ask now. You may ask. But I've heard this speech a million times and I don't have the ability to be thankful when I have what I have on my desk. I don't have the ability to feel happy and content if I haven't had the opportunity to meet a proper shidduch or even get past one date in a year. I haven't had the ability to feel good, to not be just wracked with pain and anxiety. I haven't had the ability to actually have excess money to take my family out to eat. It's paycheck to paycheck.

Speaker 1: 8:39

The Rimchal tells that person whether you are a rich man, whether you are a healthy man or whether you are a poor man, whether you are a healthy man or whether you're a poor man or an ill man. No person is exempt, no person fails to see wonders and benefit great benefits. In his particular situation, the ramchal is taken center stage, put in the microphone to his mouth and in front of a crowd of suffering people, in front of a crowd of paupers and handicapped, physically ill suffering folks. The sufferer, the pauper, the impoverished fellow. He's obligated to God and he should recognize the debt that he owes God. How, says Ramchal, not me.

Speaker 1: 9:43

Even in your suffering, even in your suffering, even in your poor health, god has saved you. God has provided for you. In incredible ways, you somehow have managed to get to this day alive. You have not succumbed to your poverty or poor health, but, miraculously, god did not leave you to die of hunger. And the sufferer to die of hunger Ha'chola sh'machziko bekovid chelyo makoivo ve'enu ma'nicha loredes l'shachas. And the sufferer, one who has illness and is wracked by injuries and disease. God hasn't let you leave to descend to the grave, and likewise for all other similar conditions. So, therefore, there is not a single person who will not find himself indebted to his creator. End quote.

Speaker 1: 10:55

Before the Ramchal continues on his powerful rant, ramchal stood up in front of a group of sufferers and said you still owe everything to God, and not only that. It should inspire you, create enthusiasm in your heart, give you light-footedness to run to Shachars, because, yes, yes, yes, you do have diseases, you do have credit card debt and you haven't had a good meal in months, but hey, you haven't died. Hey, did you figure out that you, with your $50,000 credit card debt, you still found a way to make one monthly payment. You still found a way to somehow get your hands on a bowl of cereal. Let that hang there. Let those words touch you, let those words irk you. Ponder those words, brood over them, feel them, folks.

Speaker 1: 12:12

What the Ramchal is telling us is that we have the wrong outlook on life, we have the backwards outlook on life. The way I'd like to explain it, and what it means to me, and what I think the Ramchal honestly is saying, is that we live a life of entitlement. We live a life told that we deserve this, deserve that. There are some basics that everyone deserves, but that's false. You don't deserve jack diddly squat. Did you create the world? No. Did you decide that you should have breath in your lungs? No. Do you have any real reason to justify why it is that you should receive anything? Well, I have done, mitzvos. I have done a fair amount, trying to build up my davening and learning.

Speaker 1: 13:23

It's interesting, yaakov Avinu said. Yaakov Avinu felt totally indebted to God, as if he owed the whole world to God and reserved absolutely nothing. Because he felt so indebted to God, as if he owed the whole world to God and reserved absolutely nothing. Because he felt so indebted to God and therefore was fearful of his own life and overjoyed when he was saved. So yet you really believe that you have done enough to suffice it to say that you have paid back God for all he's given you.

Speaker 1: 13:57

I hope you're not saying that Even the breath in your lungs, life do you have. Maybe you don't have 10 fingers, but do you have at least nine? Well, you're entitled to zero. So the fact that you have one, two, maybe even nine and hopefully ten, should make you dance for joy, because you deserve nothing. That's the harsh reality that Ramchal says you should have beaten dead an Ani or a Chola, but you're not. You may be sick, you may still be poor, but hey, you could be six feet under. So now, enthusiastically, dance and sing your way to do mitzvos and eat a keziah of matzah. It's such a hard idea for us, sayasav Matzah. It's such a hard idea for us Because we have been infected by the entitlement, take it for granted mentality.

Speaker 1: 15:09

Just listen to what Rabbi Lozevnik, the great Rav of the Presidential Estate Synagogue, said over just two weeks ago at Avad, ten minutes before Marav. It probably was about 5.30. Marav was 5.40 around that time two Saturdays ago. Rabbi Lezevnik is the straight tradition of Jewish fear of heaven. Authentic Ruchnius. His father died at a ripe old age of over 100 years old was the Mechavrusa of the Stipler Gon and one of the last living Talmidim of the Nevardic Musser Institute in the Academy of Torah Study. And this son of that deceased 100 plus year old fellow, his name is Rabbi Lezevnik. He's a Rav now and, in in all of his humility, he delivers these talks weekly. And he said something, a muscle last week that changed my entire life and I think it hopefully will change yours and show you what Ramchal really means and was really getting at.

Speaker 1: 16:16

There's a Kolo guy, a fellow who's struggling with his bills. He rents a home. His rent is $2,500. Grocery bills, car payment, insurance, tuition, tens of thousands monthly. It all adds up to Plus. After making one hasana he was behind $10,000. Debts got bigger and bigger. He had to take off of his work, even though he was a hardworking Rebbe, and in extra time he was trying to drive for Lakeway Taxi, while also waking up early in the morning to tutor, to try to make ends meet, going around delivering products, anything to try try to be able to pay off his bills, but having to take time off for simchas and take time off to take care of some relative who was sick. He just simply didn't have enough.

Speaker 1: 17:11

Davening, a loud and strong Shemoyna Esrei, a wealthy fellow, noticed that he must have been going through some tsaris and he said you know what's on your mind. The fellow told him I'm a rabbi. I'm a rabbi, I try, I work, I just don't have enough. The wealthy man said it's your lucky day, I've done well in business, I'm feeling good today. Tell me your address and I'll send you a check every single month for $10,000, so you will have more than enough with your own salary. Now you'll also have this gift.

Speaker 1: 17:43

Months go by. He keeps cashing the checks, delivering them to all of his expenses, making sure that everyone has what they need before he purchases his Sienna, his Odyssey. Life is cruising and life is good. Siena, his odyssey life is cruising and life is good. This goes on for eight to nine months. Before the Passover season is upon him, the wealthy man says you know, this month I really think that the Rebbe that I'm sending money to may need an extra couple thousand because. But the Rebbe that I'm sending money to may need an extra couple thousand because he's got all the family coming to him, all the kiddish wine, the Dalet Kosos, the matzah Matzah is more expensive than literally liquid gold these days. For Shmura matzah it's almost $40 a pound. I got to send him some more. Let me write him a check for an extra 5k, but I'll send the regular check the same way, but I'm going to go and deliver this one myself.

Speaker 1: 18:44

The wealthy man knocks on the Rebbe's door, gives him the check. One of his children answers the door says thank you. Gives it to his father. The father says who gave you this? He said oh, that was the man that sends us the checks, like you always tell us about. Here's an extra 5,000 for Pesach.

Speaker 1: 19:01

The rabbi says what? Runs out the door, chases the fellow down, the wealthy man, and says I can't believe you did this for me. I can't believe you gave me an extra 5K. Wealthy man says of course. Wealthy man says of course, I'd love to take care of you and give you what you need. And the Rebbe says I cannot thank you enough. You're incredible.

Speaker 1: 19:24

The rich man exclaims and can't hold himself back Whoa, a thank you. I've never received that from you. Where's that been? What about all the $5,000, $10,000 checks I send you every single month? I've never gotten a thank you from you, not even an email back of Hakara Satov. And the Rebbe says to the rich man, looks him dead in the eye and says, well, the $10,000? You send that every month. That's old news, it's regular. Comes every month. This, this is new, this is special. I got to say thank you.

Speaker 1: 20:08

You hear the madness, folks, the madness of saying thank you for extras while taking the regular paychecks for granted. The madness of taking the basic necessities for granted. The madness of taking eyesight, bowels that work and the dexterity of your fingers for granted. It's astonishing when you hear it about somebody else, but who can honestly say that they are innocent and not guilty of acting somewhat like this Rebbe who failed to acknowledge the donor for his monthly extraordinary generosity. What an incredible perspective. What an incredible new, profound understanding Rabbi Lezevnik and the Ramchal are showing us.

Speaker 1: 21:10

We are entitled to jack squat and any sort of entitlement, any sort of I deserve. It comes from a total taking for granted of your basic necessities and maybe even feeling a bit entitled because you have done so much for God and you have failed to recognize how much you actually owe to God. No-transcript, all of it is in such good taste, times for parties and celebration. And really the worst thing that bothers me out of all this is the time that people buy presents and then the advertisements from different companies to promote why it is that you should buy their present. I don't see many advertisements. I'm not a moviegoer, tv show watcher or Gentile music streamer, but I do see billboards for car advertisements without them being brutally assaulted by some sort of changing of it, some perspective that I'd rather not have, or a liberal mindset Just trying to get the basic facts.

Speaker 1: 22:58

But there's always a hey this December to remember. Be sure to purchase this luxury car, for, after such a long year, it's the car you deserve. This is what you've worked for, it's your right, you are entitled, it's your privilege, your special right, your advantage. It's what you've worked for. Buy this Lexus, buy this Mercedes, buy this Lexus, buy this Mercedes, buy this BMW, because it's the car you deserve, the luxury that you've worked for. That's the total opposite, as we spin the globe here to the other hemisphere, of what we are trying to drill at here, and I feel this brings it out what we are trying to drill at here. And I feel this brings it out because what the marketers are doing is trying to show well, yes, you do deserve this.

Speaker 1: 23:59

And what have you worked for? What are you entitled to? By creating a sense of urgency and appealing to your emotions, they put in front of you what it is that you, by way of whatever it is that you feel you have accomplished in life, are now entitled to more. But folks, they are brutally mistaken. They probably even know it. You're entitled to nothing. The even fact that you have breath in your lungs to listen to the advertisement is a total gift. A matanas chinam. That's what it means.

Speaker 1: 24:45

My Moshe Rabbeinu prayed for a gift from God, v'eschanan el Hashem, not wanting to even rest his own merits on it. And if Moshe Rabbeinu can't feel even the slightest bit of a sense of entitlement, and how can you possibly, in good taste, feel like you've earned the Lexus or earned the Mercedes-Benz? I don't mean to say this to depress you. I mean to say this to promote this idea from Ramchal, to inspire you, because you probably do receive plenty. Do receive plenty, and living with a sense of unentitlement, a sense of I deserve nothing the opposite of a self-centered narcissist makes you live happy, it makes you live cheerfully, it makes you live like a kid who's just been given everything in life From some stranger, although totally feeling unworthy, unrecognized. Just think about what that little newspaper boy feels when someone gives him a big check. That's how we should feel when we bench, when we dive in, when we learn, when we perform mitzvahs. God, I can't pay you enough. If I had all the time in the world to try to be honest and give back to you, I could not In a nachnum aspikim l'hodos l'cha. But instead we only say thank you for the extra $5,000 and take the monthly paycheck that arrives in the mail of $10,000 totally for granted.

Speaker 1: 26:48

I saw an excavator the other day scooping out the field to be able to pour in the very cornerstone of the new expansion of the yeshiva-based Mejish Torah's chesed, and a friend remarked to me when he was watching the excavator that, wow, that would be really annoying if we had to function with excavators as hands. But you know, that's the best that machinery and human minds could come up with. And now think about their dexterity in your hands, think about how swiftly they move, get down and dirty with every detail of how your body functions and how much you, if you spend time recognizing the good even amidst the suffering, you may have a different outlook, maybe even one that the Ramchal is preaching. We live like this. If we live like this that ketointi mikol achasodim, like Yaakov, I deserve nothing and yet still, somehow I have life. Although my roof is leaking, at least I have some roof. If we live like that, taking nothing for granted, feeling no sense of entitlement, no sense of I deserve Alexis, I deserve this, but rather and a total maydim and a karas atov ha'ayini v'tzad echad, v'ha'asher v'tzad echad, to recognize the good. Just imagine how Ramchal's words would land on us, that we really would.

Speaker 1: 28:22

Hestaklus b'rov hatovu sh'akad b'ruchu osa ma'adam v'chol eis v'chol sh. You may be 90 and on your deathbed, but you still have life in your 90th year, when many die at 70. That is the. That's how you inspire yourself, that's how you choose to. Is the emtso emsh l'shalo yisotso v'yisrap me'avodaso. That's how you inspire yourself.

Speaker 1: 28:49

That's how you choose to feel happy, even if these are Ramchal's words, even if you are suffering, because even the ability to live, to live while suffering, is still receiving so much good, because you could be dead and you don't even deserve to be alive. But life is a gift from God Life itself, breath itself, lungs itself, heart itself, blood, all a gift. That's what Ramchal tells us. Be grateful that you've made it out alive, be grateful that you've made even one percent of your ends meet of your large loan payment. It's a sharp idea.

Speaker 1: 29:52

Hopefully you see that it needed to be said, because this mindset must be internalized. If you're an usher, if you have health, well, nothing needs to be said because hopefully you recognize your obligation. And if you are a suffering, impoverished person, god forbid, god forbid. Well, try to remember what Ramchal says. Try to remember that at least you have breath and at least you are alive.

Speaker 1: 30:28

If you're in the middle, the more you can remember this is the more you can run to davening and the more you can seek to pay back all of the debt that you have from God's unbelievable, kind, undeserved benevolence to you. The more you think about it, the more you realize that many of us are so, so, so rich. Rich with health, rich with even a basic, small, meager, modest salary, but rich, rich with life and love. Don't take that for granted, otherwise that can look like a terrible, rotten, spoiled brat. God forbid. Take the Yaakov approach, take the Ramchal approach and take everything in stride that has been given to you and you owe so much to Hashem. With this mahalich, this outlook, you run to fulfill your obligations and you wake up every morning, moida ani, overjoyed that you get another day of life. That is the perspective that you should live with every single day of your life.