Parshas Balak: Do You Know What Color Your Friend's Kitchen Cabinets Are?

What inspires an enemy to offer praise? Bilaam, the infamous non-Jewish prophet whose prophetic abilities rivaled those of Moshe, was hired to curse the Jewish people. Yet, instead of curses, he delivered words so powerful that they became part of our daily prayers: “How goodly are your tents, O Jacob.”

As he gazed upon the Israelite encampment, Bilaam observed something extraordinary—something that speaks to us profoundly even today. The entrances to the Jewish homes were intentionally misaligned, ensuring they did not face one another. This subtle architectural detail reflected profound wisdom about safeguarding privacy, dignity, and sanctity within each household. By design, every family’s inner world was protected, creating sacred spaces where spirituality could flourish free from outside intrusion.

In today’s hyper-connected world, where boundaries are increasingly blurred and privacy is eroded, this lesson is more relevant than ever. A true Jewish home isn’t defined merely by religious symbols adorning its walls. It’s a sanctuary—a fortress of faith that shields its inhabitants from harmful influences while nurturing internal spiritual growth. It’s the place where Torah learning is a daily rhythm, where children witness their parents’ commitment to spirituality, and where the air resonates with uplifting Jewish music rather than negative distractions. Most importantly, it’s where we carefully filter what enters through our doorways—both physical and digital—creating an environment where our families can thrive spiritually and emotionally.

Our sages teach that when we strengthen the “bars of our gates”—the protective boundaries of our homes—we bring blessings to our children within. This isn’t mystical thinking; it’s practical wisdom. A home infused with kedusha (holiness) becomes fertile ground for growth. By dedicating spaces for prayer, setting boundaries around technology, and realigning our priorities to focus on what truly matters, we build homes that can inspire the same awe that Bilaam felt when he exclaimed, “How goodly are your dwellings, O Israel!”

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Chapters

• 0:00 Bilaam's Prophetic Power
• 5:14 Bilaam's First Blessing: Ma Tovu
• 9:02 The Asymmetrical Doorways of Purity
• 15:26 Building a Jewish Home Base
• 19:58 Protecting Home from Outside Influences
• 26:07 Strengthening Gates, Blessing Children

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Only one woman-born human being has ever prophesied at the same level of that of Moshe Rabbeinu, and he was lame I don't mean nerdy, but I mean wounded and he was blind. And the custom is to add an appellation to his name called the Wicked One. The prophet's name was Bilaam. Bilaam HaRashah is probably how you know him. He was an evil sorcerer that, in our parasha, was hired by Balak to try to use Bilaam's mystical, mysterious and evil powers to curse the Jewish people so that Balaam could remain in charge of a prospering nation. He was nervous of the big, bad Jews, so he went to play dirty, to hurt the Jewish people in a way that they would become vulnerable. So he went and hired Bilaam.

Speaker 1: 1:12

This Bilaam Arasha attempts in our parasha countless times to do some ill-advised activities, but Hashem intervenes, and what we are privy to we I mean that excluding others will be privy to in this parasha. Excluding others because it doesn't seem like the Jewish people are aware of the entire parasha's bollock until later, when the Torah is published by the publishing house of HaKadosh Baruch Hu and Moshe Rabbeinu. Only then is it all revealed. Because it doesn't seem apparent that the Jewish people know of the attempted curses and how they were saved. They're just going about their business, driving their children to and from preschool, going to kol el and picking up the manna, the manna from heaven, at the supermarket. But we, and all of us now we get to lend our ear to the attempted curses and the kindness of God. But he protects us from things that we don't even know about, even somebody that has free will to hurt you while you are sleeping and you'll never know about it. Free will to curse the Jewish people and we would never know about it. God intervenes, ein Oud Milvado intervenes. It intervenes at times, we see here, even against freedom of choice, it would seem, because God stepped in front. He took the charge and slammed the door on Balaam to protect the Jewish people. That should speak volumes. Calm, you quell your fears at a time, a wartime like this, that, even when you are turned away from your enemy, god, ein Oed Melvado Ein Sof, still protects and terminates attempted assassinations and destructions.

Speaker 1: 3:33

Bilamah Rasha, the sinful sorcerer, when he finally grabbed the microphone and Hashem allowed him to speak his peace, to rhyme his rap. He teaches us a great deal about what makes a Jew special, what makes a Jew unique, and sometimes it's from our very worst enemies, that we need to listen, because somehow they they in their animosity or if they just happen to be blessed by prophecy at that moment know how to remind us of what we truly are and what we truly need to do and what we truly need to do. And I'd like to direct your attention to the very first Pesach of Bilaam's public oration. The Torah gives a large run-up for what's about to transpire, and the first Pesach is what I want you to pay attention to, because it's a concept that is so good I say a simple description there so good to emphasize the word good, specifically the word good. As you will soon see, listen to the run-up, before he finally drops the bomb, of just how special this asset that you have can really be and how special it is, especially in 2025, the following Yisroel must be maximized if we are to be Matzliach Maximized if we are to be matzliach.

Speaker 1: 5:37

He did not travel this time in the same deceitful way as he had before, but Bilaam now turns his head to the Israelite camp and as Bilaam looked up and saw the Israels in camp, tribe by tribe, the spirit of God now rests upon him and now kind of being elevated into this state of higher awareness, a state of mystical prophecy, a certain level of peace, serenity and bliss, that he opens his mouth and begins to preach his rhyme and preach his poem, somebody who's A man with a word of one, who hears God's speech, it's the one who beholds the visions of the Almighty. What does he say? What does he notice about the uniqueness, about the Jewish people as he sees them in camp down below? After this incredible setup, bila Maharsha hits the microphone and says Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to have your attention. It's Bila Maharsha here and I begin by noticing wow, how goodly, how goodly, how tov are your houses, jacob, and your dwellings, your mishkan osecha, your residences, o Israel. He jumps into this rhetorical question that depicts a Jewish camp and how good it is A Jewish camp, and how good it is. Doesn't see how they are in cul-de-sacs, divided by tribes, with flags and a mishkan in the middle. That's not what he picks up on. What catches his eye down below is Matuvu, ohalecha, yaakov, mishkan, osecha, yisrael. And Rashi explains what it is that he saw.

Speaker 1: 7:49

The Poshep Shad is that he saw, says Rashi. He saw that the entrances of the homes of the Israelites were not exactly facing each other, bava, basra 60a. He saw the asymmetrical entranceways of the Jewish homes and that is what caught his eye and sent him into this rhetorical exclamation about how goodly the Jewish people are living. When we look up the Gemara above Abbasra even though there is no Rashi there, because Rashi died before he got to that part of Shas 60a we do have Rashi's grandson who comments upon that Gemara there and further elucidates what it is that is unique about the Jewish dwellings, of that they have asymmetrical entranceways.

Speaker 1: 8:48

It is clear that Bilaam noticed the purity, the kedushah, the taharas ha-meshpacha, the privacy, the measure of privacy ensured in the Jewish camp, that what is yours is yours and what is mine is mine. In the realms of my inner life, pliny's spouse is Pliny's spouse. Purity, keeping things holy, v'hoyamachanecha kadosh, keeping things holy, the solidarity-ness, the tznias, that I can't exactly have a moment where we both open our entranceways and I can see in and maybe see one of your family members not dressed properly or what color your kitchen cabinets are. That's not my business. And to make sure that that doesn't happen, that I don't see something or get involved in something that I shouldn't, because it's yours and not mine and what's mine in the realms of kedusha and my inner life and my house is mine and not yours. I make sure that we have asymmetrical doorways, asymmetrical entranceways, to ensure this. Tzinias, what I would like to show you from here is that the goodliness of the tents of Jacob, the goodliness of the Jewish people, the very first thing that he notices is proper Jewish living and a proper Jewish household and how we protect our Kedusha.

Speaker 1: 10:33

The uniqueness and the definition of a Jewish home is today's podcast. You are home, you're oy ha-lecha. We hope should still be at a level that Bila Malrasha would see our communities and say Ma Tovu Ohalecha Yaakov, and not just a big, sprawling, gargantuan mansion type of home. While that is goodly and I would enjoy one of those that's not what we're talking about here, because that has very little significance about the holiness that resides inside of the home, the avir, the atmosphere of growth and stegging and happiness that makes a house truly goodly. So what is a Jewish home and, from A to Z, what makes it special and how do we make it goodly?

Speaker 1: 11:32

Well, your home, to start, is a place that you call home base. You call the place that you return to after every traveling out. God doesn't want the Jewish people, or any people for that matter, to live amongst the wilderness. We don't flock or hibernate or have a certain habitat. But no, build a house, build bedrooms, build bathrooms, build a backyard and set yourself up a place where you can call it home. It's here where whatever Torah and mitzvos and fear of heaven that you will have amassed, you will bequeath it to your children to build upon it. Your home is yours, the home base for all the good that you do. It's here that you should build a safe zone, the Hayim Ahanecha Kaddosh of impregnable fortress of faith, like a little nursery of happiness.

Speaker 1: 12:45

God commands when you build a house, put a micah on top, which is a roof with fences to prevent any mishap of someone slipping and falling off of the roof. You're to put mezuzahs on the sound architectural structure, to have sort of a quasi-mission statement on every entranceway of your house, any place that is dwellable to remind yourself of Shema Yisrael, hashem Elokeinu, hashem Echad tilted a bit to the side, not too much to the left, not too much to the right, to show that houses need to be built upon shalom and upon peace and vatronus. And then you're to acquire for yourself, after you've acquired your house, a manager of that house, and they come in female form, acquire somebody that's going to see to it that all of your life's wishes actually get done. God commands that it takes two to tango and someone needs to ensure that everyone else is matzliach and doing what they need to be doing. You're to have an eish eschayil and you're to have somebody that's called debishu, who is the president and CEO of this house that's supposed to manage all of your affairs. To see the hatzlocha. You're to be a dad and a leader in your affairs. To see the Hatzlocha. You're to be a dad and a leader in your home to have a goodly home. You're to put clothes on your children's backs, to put clothes on your spouse's back to provide for them all of their physical needs and necessities. But if we're honest here, that's the easy part of being a dad and a leader. If you can't financially do it, it the government will help you do it. But the spiritual growth, the spiritual clothing on the children's backs and on your wife's back, who's to be in charge of that? And how much energy have you allocated to that? To be the Jewish leader of your stoking their fires of Yiddishkeit allocated to that? To be the Jewish leader of your Matovu Ohalecha Yaakov, stoking their fires of Yiddishkeit, showing them the way, being the role model in this humble and holy Jewish residence. To protect this house, to make sure that you aren't only learning Torah outside of the home.

Speaker 1: 15:17

I heard from Reb Yitzchak Steinberg that there should be one time a week that, in this goodly structure of yours, you two open up your books and zokr the gemara. Let your wife sit on the couch enjoying a chamomile tea, enjoying the sound of your Torah learning, hopping some nachas. Let your children, while they're falling asleep in their cribs, open their doors and begin to study at the Shabbos table or at the weekday night kitchen table. Zak the gemara, omer Rava Rava says this is the halacha. Abay says like this let's see, rashi, what's Tosfos' question? Let that niggun, let that hum, let that rhythm fill the air of your goodly Jewish house so that everybody can feel that helpable purity, helpful purity.

Speaker 1: 16:19

Make sure your home is sun-drenched, inviting and cozy, that people should want to mimic the house that you have. Your Jewish house should be one that is spurring on growth, where kids want to run home and show you their grades and sing about the Parsha and play with different toys and save technology and things that a Jewish child should be engaged in. In this Jewish home, in your Matuvu Halacha, yaakov, have you marked a makum kavua for your tefillah Halacha and sholchan arch? If you should have to daven at home, have a nice shtender where you can find some peace and quiet and you can pray In this humble or not so humble, holy Jewish abode that Balaam saw were so goodly about us, so pure To set up a man cave.

Speaker 1: 17:26

Do you know what a man cave is? It's a place for a dad to engage in his dadly types of habits and hobbies. Normally they are bedecked in beer drafts, flat screen TVs, sports, memorable beer, leah and maybe even some fancy Cuban cigars. But that's not the type of man cave that I am trying to refer to. I'm trying to refer to the one that Rabshak tells a man to build, and I saw this in A Peaceful Home by Rab Sifse Chayim, rab Chayim Friedlander. In the back of that book that he authored when he came to America for his cancer treatments, he lists 10 things that a new Hassan should encourage, promote and activate in his new home out to think, to learn. It's there that there's no inappropriate conversation or technology allowed. It's there where I can learn in peace, kind of like a little private base, ha-moser. So your home will have an avir of kedusha and rohnias.

Speaker 1: 18:54

Is your home one of contentment and joy, spiritually and physically? And architecturally sound? Is your home homey? Have you ensured, have you ensured, that your doorways are truly asymmetrical and that you don't know the cabinet colors in your friend's house or their inner, inner private affairs? Are you going out of your way to make sure that the smart speakers in your home play uplifting Jewish music, play the Motivation Congregation podcast, and they do not play rock and roll, Gentile, depressing music that do nothing but promote excessive indulgence?

Speaker 1: 19:44

Homes become more and more advanced in their technological connections and are you on the lookout to ensure that it's the doorways of your home are truly asymmetrical and that your children, you and your spouse are living in a pure Jewish home? Have you insured, by significantly investing in happy Jewish mutter outlets Instead of buying them an unfiltered iPhone? Have you ensured that they are every possible normal Jewish toy, every toy? But you've given them something that they don't exactly need to always look for what else I could get, I could need. Have you given them your attention? Have you built them a jungle gym? Have you given them toys and games within your financial means so they don't always feel like they're going to be able to do it, just shackled to the immoral technology?

Speaker 1: 20:51

Have you put sufficient filters upon all of the open faucets of sewage that come piping in via the internet? Have you ensured that they are not mindlessly scrolling through the unfiltered internet and upon addictive applications that merely teach obsession and lawlessness? Have you ensured that you have a proper Jewish home, jewish home, and that what stands in the middle of your living room, upon the wall between the curtains above the fireplace, is not a fat, time and energy wasting television, but instead a picture of your role model, a holy rabbi or a sepharim shrunk that, even pristine and barely used, is still a big, fat set of shots that shows that this is what I want to champion in the very center of my house. Have you gone out of your way to wash down the feet of the angels traveling in the wilderness before you invite them into your holy, humble abode? Aren't just traipsing in with muddy shoes, with deceit and with gossip, well-meaning friends, but involved in things that you'd rather not be involved in, or, for that matter, here let your children be involved in. Have you ensured that the Shabbos guests have the same goals and even if they don't, they're there as guests and you're the one preaching about the beauty of Judaism and how special things are, and not vice versa? It may not need to be said, but have you refrained from at least in your Jewish youth? We have a large youth audience, baruch Hashem. Have you ensured that you aren't just going on couple dates on Friday night, when you have multiple young couples that run into problems because they eat meals together and one man is now questioning why it is that his wife doesn't make as good food as his friend's wife, or why the wife is left to compare notes that her husband doesn't make as much money or learn nearly the same amount of Torah as her friend's husband? But when people live in close proximity like this, and when you can look inside of the entranceway and the doorway of your friend so easily, so accessibly, and your doorways and your purity and your privacy and your solidarity and your sneers and your purity is not up to snuff, is not up to par, well then, god forbid you go down terrible roads and end up in funny places that you never imagined. You go down terrible roads and end up in funny places that you never imagined.

Speaker 1: 24:14

It's up to every single one of us to ensure that our Jewish holy homes are truly Jewish holy homes. They're to be Fort Knox, with big walls that protect the outside world and all of its terrible influences, and a place that creates steiging and happiness. Get a cleaning lady if you must, so that everyone can be involved in the steiging Everyone, man, woman and child, because if you steig and leave your family in the dust, well then you've hardly steiged. The Jewish people are defined as God wants you to live in your house, be with your house, take care of your house and steig as a house. Come to Egypt as a house. We remind ourselves of this concept, of the necessity and the vitality and the crucial kite of having a kosher kite in your home. Every day we say, when we say that God has made the bars of our gates strong and has blessed our children within you.

Speaker 1: 25:39

The way the Baalei Musser and the way the very simple reading of the Pasek reads, is that when you strengthen your fortress of faith, when you build large protecting walls of China as your walls to keep out all of the outer gross influences, when you strengthen the walls. Well then, your children steig. Your children are happy and blessed, and I would argue that this isn't some sort of red-bendel shtick, going-to-teveria-omen type of shtick, but a basic and direct, simple outcome of building a happy Jewish home and protecting it. Protecting the house building a happy Jewish home and protecting it, protecting the house and the classic development from this fortress of holiness is that your children grow and they steig. They see that you care, they see your example.

Speaker 1: 26:43

This is what Balaam saw about the Jewish people. This is what he noticed right away is what makes us different the way we live, not at shul, not at basemadrash, but the way we live at home and the way we function in our homes and the way that we interplay with other homes and the way that we keep what's ours, ours and private and in the home, and the way that we act with tzinias and with dignity. This praise of the Jewish domicile by Bilaam is so classic, so important, that it's actually the very only posseg inside of the entire Siddur, front to back, that was included, even though it was authored by a Gentile. But it isn't the slightest wonder, because just listen to all of the gloriousness that Balaam noticed about the Jewish home and how important it is. And, of course, it made it into the Siddur, the praise of our kosherkeit. It is the highest calling of the highest creation to build a proper Jewish home.

Speaker 1: 28:05

Everyone is now flying around in modern society, different places open to different content, open to different interests, and the importance of the Jewish home has never been more important. It's time that we ensure that we give our children, our spouses, ourselves, the best chance to steig. It starts at home. Fortify your home base, ensure that if Bilam Ar-Rosha saw your home, he would still exclaim the very same thing that he exclaimed as he took the microphone and preached his rhyme Avma tovu ohalecha Yaakov mishken o'secha Yisrael. Build a peaceful, blissful, happy, dignified, simcha-filled Jewish home. Avma tovu o'alecha Yaakov mishken o'secha Yisrael. How goodly are your tents, o Yaakov, how goodly are your dwellings, o Israel?