Parshas Vaera: How Hashem Taught Moshe the Secret to Getting Anyone to Listen

Fire and ice fall from the sky, frogs flood the palace, and yet the most surprising instruction isn’t a plague—it’s a posture: speak to Pharaoh as Melech Mitzrayim. We dig into Vaera’s high drama and ask the hard question: why would Moshe be told to honor a tyrant? Drawing on Rashi’s breakdown of Moshe’s three objections, a striking Zohar about illegitimate kings, and Rav Moshe Sternbuch’s powerful thesis, we explore how public honor reframes Pharaoh’s downfall as an unmistakable act of God rather than a political stumble.

From there, we pivot to a pragmatic read with everyday stakes. What if that instruction also models a timeless persuasion principle—treat people with dignity and they will hear you? The Ramban’s guidance on humility and gentle speech becomes a blueprint for conversations that land. Avraham’s hospitality shows how influence is built not with pressure but with honor. And when we bring it home, Rambam’s insights on marriage and mutual respect, plus a clear approach to parenting and professional negotiations, turn a biblical moment into a usable playbook: lead with respect, ask with clarity, and watch defenses drop.

Expect a fast path from text to life: why honoring the other person doesn’t excuse wrong, how to pair conviction with courtesy, and where this approach helps—at home, with kids, at work, and in heated debates. If you’re ready to trade volume for influence and friction for traction, press play, subscribe for more source-driven takeaways, and tell us where you’ll try this first.

Transcript

Setting The Stage: Vaera’s Drama

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Ooh, Parsha's V'era is the best. It begins with drama and ends with drama. It's like the middle section of a play, the middle section of a book, the middle section of a flick, a movie, in which all the drama, all of the rising action is building and building, and all of a sudden, before you reach the climax and understand what happens in the end before the falling drama concludes, where everything is revealed, and you understand what happens or Parsha ends, and you have to live until next week to figure out what happens between the standoff between Paro and Hashem.

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And Moshe Rabinu, who's representing Hashem, standing there before Par. Parsha's vo'ira begins.

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You have to know how it begins before how we discuss the following idea for this week's Parsha. It begins how Hashem reveals himself to Moshe and says, I promised the forefathers,

Mission Reaffirmed And Seven Plagues

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I promised them things.

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But now I'm about to follow through on my promises. I'm about to keep my promises. Hashem reaffirms Moshe's mission. Even though Moshe hesitates because of his uncircumcised lips, Hashem says, Go and tell Paro that let thy people go. Paro says no. And he'll say no seven times in our parsha. And you'll witness seven makos in our parsha. You'll witness that all the water in Egypt turns to blood. The fish die. It's not inconspicuous, unsuspecting detail that the fish die.

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Because it's not just white turning to red water, but it's actual real blood. Fish die in real blood. We hear about Sephardia and this tremendous alligator-like Godzilla creature that comes out and the Egyptians hit him until multiple Tsephardia frogs are crawling around Eretz Mitzrayim and leaping inside of Paro's bed. Think of it in the story as an adult, not as a child. We hear about the lice, in which the magicians admit that this is the finger of Hashem. We can't recreate this. We don't know how this was done. This isn't some sort of magic trick. The Arov, the dangerous suaves of animals invade Egypt. Except Goshen. Goshen, that small little neighborhood inside of Mitsraim Lake Lakewood, where the Kolel rabbis and Kalaligasarl live.

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There's no wild animals there. The plagues continue, Devur, an animal epidemic. Unrelatable, but definitely sounds treacherous. Shhtin boils! The pain of the skin.

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Even sorcerers can't stand before Moshe Rabeno. Everyone in unbearable pain with these boils. Shhtin moves into Barad, fire and ice together falling from the heavens, smashing anything and everything in their sights.

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Paro relent. Paro give up. He won't. He says no.

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And sometimes he even pretends to say yes before he switches his mind and says no.

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But don't make fun of Paro. Many of us have also committed to things. But then as soon as the pain that was the impetus for the commitment subsided, we too relinquished and revoked our commitments. But today for today's podcast, I'd like to point out to you an interesting TOSUC that holds with it an interesting Rashi.

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Followed by an interesting question from the Gyvid of Yisrael of Yushalayim.

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To suggest a new answer that was put forth by Rib Vulva, Rib Yakovolva of Houston, Texas. And then drill home a makabi patish on the idea that will help us in our lives. Help you tomorrow. It should help us follow Hashem's Torah better and close more deals. How does that sound? Parsha? Right at the beginning is where we'll begin.

Moshe’s Three Objections Explained

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I don't want to go to Paro. It's not gonna work. Moshra Bainu says to Hashem, Hey M Bene isro Shamweli.

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The Jewish people, they're not gonna listen to me. How could Pyro listen to me?

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I'm tongue-tied. Moshe Rabinu has some sort of speech hindrance. But Hashem responds, you have nothing to worry about, Moshe.

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So Hashem spaketh. He spoke to Moshe and to Aaron in regard to the Israelites in power, the king of Egypt, instruction, instructing them to deliver the Israelites from the land of Egypt. Kind of unclear how Hashem responded to Moshe's complaint of that no one's gonna listen to me. Rashi explains that Moshe had three questions. What an incredible example of how the Torah is a closed book to us without the guiding pen of Rabbi Ushlomo Yitzhaki Rashi. When Hashem answered Vayidaber Hashem el Moshev El Aron, that was the answer to Moshe's first question, which was then how can I talk in front of Paro if I have uncircumcised lips? Rashi says Lavisha Omar Moshe Anya Ral Savosaim, Saraf Lovakhers Bark as Aron Liyos Lo Lepet Ulamelits. The beginning of the Pussik is Hashem's first answer to Moshe's first question. I'm going to join in the club, Aron, so you won't have to speak. That's why it says, if you miss that word, that's the answer to Moshe's first problem, that he can't talk the way that he believes people will listen to him. The puzzle continues. Or command that the Israelite nation that they should go. Rashi says, This is answer number two to Moshera Banu's problem. That Klaisrael's not going to listen to me. What does Hashem say? Deal with them in a gentle manner. Be patient with them. Tolerate them. Even though they maybe will harass you. A Jewish leader needs to know that he has to endure the harassing and he needs to do what needs to be done, even if it means that his congregation will verbally abuse him. Some real positive affirmation and a real clarifying of a Jewish leader's role. And lastly, Rashi says, The El Paro Melech Mitzraim, go and tell Paro the king of Egypt. What does that mean? What was Hashem's answer to Moshe's third problem? Says Rashi.

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Give him covet.

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Treat the king of Egypt with honor. That's why the Pusak says to Paro Melech Mitzraim, the king of Egypt, the Dugish, the the impressing upon of the Pasuk, the Dugish, the emphasis, that's the word, that the Pasuk is making is treat him like a king.

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Ramoshe Sternbach. He asks the question that you should be asking yourself. He also asks it when again the topic comes up in the future. And Parsha's Bo.

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When again Moshe is told to speak to Paro as the Melech Mitzraim and Lachalok, Lachalok Lokovit, to speak to Paro as a king, give him honor. The incredible Venaker Ben of the Vilna Gone. Somebody who's written Sephim upon Sefarim. Most notably, the Mo'adem Usmanim Utchuvos van Hagos. Mosha Sternbach, born in 1926, the prominent British-born Israeli Kharedi Raven Posik. I have a say for Tom Vidas here. Gadalad Dar. Shaenkedugmasai Ariamai Shuabinona, a holy, holy stage that still lives in this generation? He asked the question that you need to be asking. How could it be that Moshe Rabbeinu was commanded to show honor to a king who is wicked? A king who's a Russia? How can it be that Moshe Rabbeinu, the answer to his problems,

The Paradox Of Honoring Pharaoh

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or to show honor to an individual who committed infanticide? Wait, infanticide, neonauticide. That means killing babies. How can it be that Moshe Rabbeinu is told to act benevolently, kindly, positively, courteously, honorably to an individual who threw living, healthy, happy, Jewish babies before and after their briths younger than a year old into the Nile. He wrecked the bodies of the Israelites with grueling and illegal labor.

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This person should be treated like the man whose name should be erased and should burn in hell.

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Hitler, Yamachemo.

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And yet here we're told to walk in and treat him with honor. Eich Yen. How can this be? And to answer it, we dive into the deep waters of Torah. He brings a Zohar. A fascinating Zohar.

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Rabyosi and Ribyahuda were sitting in learning Torah in front of Reb Shimon.

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Riby Huda said by Yaqam Melech. That a new king arose over Egypt. That's at the very beginning. Of the story of the Exodus.

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The sages they point out, and Rabbi Huda said, that let me explain to you what it means a new king arose over Egypt. It means that he arose by Yocham, he got up and arose on his own accord. He was lowly, and he arose. He was not fitting for kingship, but he arose. How?

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The Zawar teaches, Reb Yehuda continues, but through wealth he arose. With power, with money.

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Like a politician who became the leading politician because of the wealth that he had to buy his way to power. Rib Shimon says, Ah, I have a good connection, a Tsushtal. It is just like the same manner of Ahashvarosh, who was not fitting for kingship, but he arose on his own accord.

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And thus we see that Paro, just like Ahashvarosh, was not worthy of reigning.

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But through his own power, of his own wealth, did he establish himself as king over Egypt of Ayuakam Melech Chadash. Ramosha Sternbach therefore advances the idea to answer the problem as to how could it be that they were commanded to honor this person? Rab Stirmbach says a chidash a novel idea. He says it's

Zohar On Illegitimate Kingship

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because to make a statement. The Holy One, blessed be he, commanded Moshe and Aron to show him kingly honor. Why? To emphasize that Pauro's downfall would not be because he was subject to his inferiority or lack of royal legitimacy. It wasn't that he wasn't a good king or that he was not a rightful king, but no, he was a legitimate heir to the throne.

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How? How? Mokshin Aaron, they recognized him as the king.

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They treat him as the ruler. Why? Because if God were to destroy a king who was illegitimate, a lowly king, would that be much of a statement by Akadeshbaru? Observers might attribute his fault to his weakness or his lack of political stability. So we have a solution. Moshe and Aram are told to treat Paro with a full royal protocol. Treat him as a melech, elevate his status, validate his kingship, do it publicly. This way, eventually when Paro should fall defeated, it would be clear that it wasn't because he was the king usurper who bought his way to power, but rather, and specifically, because this person messed with the Jewish people with the Amashem. Hence, the Posak says, says Ramoshe Sternbach, that they were told to go and give honor to the Melech Paro so that it will be clear when his downfall happens that it was Hashem who took him out and took out the king of Egypt.

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Really an incredible Kiddish. I'd like to turn the swivel chair to a different teleprompter. A different camera, if you will.

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To think not in the shallow waters of Torah, but just if this is the deep waters of Torah, I'd like to swim back into the calm and more understandable and simple waters of the Torah, to try to extat extract a plain point but a powerful point to answer this question. I'd like to advance Ribshlomav's sorry Rabyakov's answer to the way he understands this Rashi and then try to sprinkle it with some you know Torah Shaim.

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Some Torah that may be helpful for us in our daily lives that helps us to live better. And I'd like to present the following.

Sternbuch’s Thesis: Public Honor

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Maybe that's not for installing him as the king. Maybe it's simply advice for how to get people to listen to you.

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Maybe it's Moshe Rabinu is being given the key to how finally Moshe will be listened to by Pyro. He says, I'm tongue-tied. He says no one's gonna listen to me. He says Paro's not gonna listen to me. And you know what Hashem says? Treat him with dignity. Treat him like a melech because you know what, people? When you treat people like a king, they listen to you. That's the secret. If you want to get people to listen to you, treat them with honor. When you try to force your way and try to barrel down, bang down the doors of people's beliefs and try to convince them of how you're proper and how they need to sell their house and how your political belief is the truth, and how your way of learning the Gemarva is the proper way. They just build up walls and want nothing to do with you. But when you call them a melech, when you give them the honor that they may deserve, or maybe they don't deserve, you are so much more likely to get an understanding, open-minded response from the seller or from your cavrusa.

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You're not sugarcoating it.

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Don't think of it as a bad thing that you're buttering people up to just simply try to get them to listen to you. But you're simply treating them with covada brios. You want people to listen to you? Treat them with covada brios because now they feel listened to. Maybe they even feel represented. They feel like a mensch in front of you. So they now want to deal with you in a way that's menschluch.

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The same way you would want to be treated. You kind of simply, when confronted with someone that treats you dignified, you kind of simply open up and relent and like them.

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And maybe even want to listen to them and follow them and be loyal to them. Because they treated you like a melech. They treated you properly. The Ramban says like this. The Igerasar Ramban, it says, I took the English translation to make it more direct, even though the Hebrew is otherworldly. But therefore, the Ramban says to his son, I'll now explain to you how you always behave humbly, speak gently at all times, with your head bowed, your eyes. Looking down to the ground and your heart focusing on God. That's what we always say here. Head down, heart up. That's the way to live. But don't look at the face of the person to who you're speaking. Consider everyone as a greater than you.

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Everyone as greater than you. If he is wise or wealthy, you give him respect.

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If he's poor, or you're wealthier, smarter,

A Practical Read: Win Hearts First

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wiser, more courageous and more creative than he, well then consider yourself to be more guilty than he is. And that he is more worthy than you, since when he sins, it's by accident. But now that I'm smarter, I do it knowingly. So therefore, turn the tables and imagine that your friend is now smarter or more righteous than you. The Rambana's telling us that you deal with everybody in this most focused, pleasant, gentle, honor-giving way.

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That's the way you deal with people. Maybe that's also what we see here is the way that people actually listen to you.

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You see over and over that the most influential figure in the history of the world was Abraham Avram Avenu I of the trifecta of our Avos Avram, Abraham, our forefather. Over and over, we're told how he was Mekarev, Jew upon Jew, built legions, built bastions, built hotels built on Torah and Ruchnias, motels, Achels, helping people, teaching people, getting them to say Brachos. Look at it between Posak Bayes and Posakches. We get a clear description how Avram lavishly honors his guests. He runs, he serves, he bows, he offers comfort. His Derech Eretz, his coverabrios, is what created his influence.

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And maybe the way he treated people, as the Melech Mitzraim, shall we say, is what very much attributed to his influential and charismatic being Makarov of people and persuading them to the path of good.

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How powerful would it be for us to adopt an interpersonal relationship type of motto and method like this? How powerful would it be if we treated our spouses like kings?

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You wouldn't just get them to listen to you, which would be great. But you'd also live in a life that's filled with Shalom bias. You know it. You know it. You know it.

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The Rambam says. If he has financial resources, then you should offer her benefits in accordance with his resources. Buy her a designer coat if you can.

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Take her out for a fancy dinner if you can. Don't put superfluous measure of fear over her. Talk to her gently.

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Be neither sad nor be angry. Treat her with honor. That's what it says. That's how you treat your wife. And then also maybe she'll listen to you. And it goes the other way.

Ramban’s Blueprint For Humility

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The words of Maimonides, a woman's commanded to honor her husband exceedingly and to be in awe of him. How many women can say that they're in awe of their husband? And don't say that, oh, it's because he is the one who acts lowly, so I treat him that way. It's not an excuse. If someone acts a way that they're not supposed to, it doesn't validate you to act in a way that violates the Torah. She should carry out all of her deeds according to his directives, considering him to be an officer or a king.

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Hear that? Viyeh beineha kimosar omelech.

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She should follow his desires in his heart and shun everything that he disdains. That's the custom of holy, pure Jewish women and men in their marriages. And these are the ways that will make their marriage pleasant and praiseworthy. When you treat people with honor, things work out. And maybe that was Hashem's advice. It was some communication, advantages, and advice to Moshe Rabbeinu. Go and talk to Paro and talk to who? Melech Mitzrayim. Give him honor. Because when you give people honor, maybe they open up to you and want to let the people go. When you give him honor and say, wow, Paro, what an amazing melech. Look at what you've built here. And now I have an honest question. There's someone named Makadesh Baru who created the whole world and he'd like his blessed and precious nation to be let out of bondage now. Would you mind to allow them to go out?

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There's a chance that that happens if you treat someone in a dignified, honorable way. There are times in our lives that this will help us.

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Even when you meet strangers, treat them in a dignified, melech-like way because the Rimban says that's the way that we deal with people. If you can't, just remember that their sins are accidents and my own sins are on purpose because I know better and I know better than him. In your marriages, the way you deal with your children. We don't have time to go on the rant of how we must treat our kids like they're not just kids, they're adults. They pick up on things and we need to treat them as such. Talk to them in a mature way and don't keep pushing off the khenok until they get older. They see what's going on, and you can treat them in an honorable way. They understand things. Of course, the way we treat our wives, our spouses, our husbands, the way you treat your parents, the way you treat anybody, even a prospective seller on the phone. You want somebody to listen to you? Hashem told Moshe, go and speak to the Melech Mitzraim. Because when you give people honor, there's a serious chance that they'll actually listen to you.