I bet you can't guess what a self-served gin station, a donut van, a wine barrel at the end of a ceremony aisle, and a wedding party who sat down have in common. These are four of the eight decisions that made a couple's wedding one of the most fun, most joyful, most talked-about celebrations I have personally witnessed in over a thousand ceremonies. And not one of them cost a fortune or required a wedding planner to pull it off. In today's episode, I'm going to share exactly what this couple did differently. And more importantly, I'm going to show you how to steal every single one of their ideas for your own day. Because here's what I want you to understand before we dive in. The weddings that guests remember for years are almost never the most expensive ones. They're the ones where someone stopped and asked a different question. And it wasn't what are we supposed to do? But what would make this feel really, really good for everyone in that room. By the end of this episode, you'll have eight specific actionable ideas that if you happen to love them too, you could add them straight to your own day. They are tweaks, timeline shifts, and focuses that will change how present you feel on your own wedding day and how looked after your guests feel from the moment they arrive. And I promise you, tweak number four is the one that's going to make you go, why does nobody else do this? Let's get stuck into it. Unbridly is a community of pro-wedding vendors who believe in freedom and integrity in weddings, giving you options, solutions, tips, and tricks to create the experience and memories that you and your fiance really want and deserve. Because we believe that weddings are a team sport with how-to's, stories and interviews with recently married couples. We find out what went right and what they'd changed if they could go back and do it all over again. I'm Camille and welcome to the Unbridly Podcast. Only a couple of weeks ago now, I had the absolute privilege of being the celebrant or officiant for my US friends for Tessa Michael's wedding. And I'm going to be completely honest with you, it was one of the most genuinely well-thought-through weddings I've ever had the pleasure of being a part of. And I've done a lot of these. Now, nothing about their wedding was over the top or wildly expensive. They didn't have a fireworks display or, I don't know, a roaming alpaca, a live band flown in from interstate. What they had was something pretty rare. A wedding day that felt completely intentional. Like every single decision had been made with their guests and themselves front of mind. An Instagram reel I filmed of their cocktail hour entry has hit 15,000 views. And the DMs I've been getting have all said the same thing. They look like the most in love, happiest couple ever, and how brilliant is their vibe. So today I'm breaking it all down. I did ask Michael and Tess if it was okay. They said yes. They're still on Cloud Nine. So maybe in the future I'll get them on the podcast and we can talk to them about it personally. I would love to do that. So here they are eight specific things that Tess and Michael did differently. None of them complicated, all of them completely stealable, and exactly how you can apply each one of them to your own wedding day. So let's start with their big idea. And that was what Michael and Tess understood that most couples don't. I want to give you the mind shift behind this because once you understand what my bride and groom were actually trying to achieve, every decision they made makes complete sense. So most couples plan their wedding day around what is a typical timeline. They plan it around traditions, they plan it around generally other people's expectations or what they've seen in movies, what other family and friends have done in the past. So the schedule, the formalities, the list of things to get through. And that's understandable. There is a fuck ton of things to coordinate, and it can feel really overwhelming. So having an outline to work with and work to can help most couples stay on track with everything. But Michael and Tess planned their wedding around how they wanted it to feel. And specifically, they asked two questions that I think every couple should ask much earlier in their planning process. And they are firstly, how do we make sure we actually get to be present at our own wedding? And secondly, how do we make sure our guests feel genuinely looked after at every single moment? Those two questions drove every one of the decisions I'm going to share with you. And the result was a day that felt effortless for them and for every single person at that wedding. So tweak number one was private vows exchange before the ceremony. So the first thing Tess and Michael did after they got ready, dressed up, makeup, hair, etc., was exchange private vows before their ceremony even started. Just the two of them, no audience. Well, they did have their media team there too, which was their choice. So it was a quiet moment together before the day really kicked off. Now I know what you might be thinking, and that is, isn't the ceremony the place for the vows? And yes, they absolutely still had their full ceremony with vows or promises to each other in front of their people. But they chose to keep the super intimate, personal, and vulnerable things to themselves. So they had the best of both worlds. They had a private and emotional moment together to take the pressure off and still shared their other wedding vows in front of all their guests during the ceremony. So by the time they walked in, they had already said the things that were just for each other. The things that were too personal, too raw, too intimate to say in front of 90 odd people. They'd already had that moment. So when they stood up there in front of their guests, they could actually be present. They could look around at all their friends and family, they could laugh, they could breathe. So here's how to steal this. You don't need to write a whole second set of vows, although you absolutely can if that's your vibe. Even just carving out 15 or 20 minutes before your ceremony, just the two of you, to say something privately like off the cuff to each other, just seeing each other, saying hi, having a chat, checking in. It changes the energy you walk in with. And if this is making you feel either relieved or excited, I would suggest talk to your celebrant or officiant about how to build this into your morning timeline. Tweak number two, pre-ceremony champagne before I even turn my microphone on. Okay, not for me, but for the guests. So before the ceremony even kicked off, as guests arrived at Tessa Michael's wedding, they were offered a glass of champagne and or water. So not at the reception, not at cocktail hour, but before the ceremony. So while they were assembling and mingling and finding their seats and catching up with people they hadn't seen in years. This might sound simple, but think about what it actually does. Offering that champagne andor a water, it immediately signals to your guests that you are welcome here. We are so glad you came and we have thought about you. It also gives people something to hold. Don't underestimate that. It gives them a reason to relax into the space rather than just sitting or standing there waiting, being a bit uncomfortable. It turns the pre-ceremony period, which can be a slightly awkward limbo time, into the beginning of the celebration. And practically, it pairs beautifully with the next decision they made, which I'll get to in a moment, because having a drink in your hand means your guests feel completely settled and completely present. So, how to steal this? Have another chat. Have a chat with your venue or caterer about offering a welcome drink on arrival at the ceremony, not just the reception. And it doesn't have to be champagne, it could be sparkling water with citrus, a light spritz, or even just beautifully presented still in sparkling water. It makes the same statement. And if you are able to brief your staff to offer it proactively as your guests walk in and not just leave it sitting on a station, it's that extra elevation of welcome. We're thrilled you're here. Twee is their wedding party got to actually enjoy their ceremony. This one made me so happy, and I honestly cannot believe that most couples don't do it. After Michael and Tess's wedding party entered and was welcomed and introduced at the start of the ceremony, they sat down. They took their seats in the second row amongst the rest of the guests, and they actually got to watch and enjoy the ceremony like human beings, instead of standing up the front doing their best impression of the garden ornament for 25 odd minutes. So think about what it's like to be an attendant, a bridesmaid, agreements, a member of a wedding party. You've been up since the crack of dawn, you're in heels, a suit, you've been running around all morning, and then you stand up there in front of all the guests, everyone's looking at you, and you have to hold your expression and not cry and not fidget and generally look serene and supportive, even though from where you're standing, you can't see properly. It's exhausting. And it means that as a couple getting married, your closest people, your chosen people, miss out on actually experiencing the ceremony because they're in it. What Michael and Tess chose to do instead meant that their wedding party were relaxed, emotional in the right ways, and genuinely present. And you could feel it. So how to steal this? You talk to your celebrant or your efficient about structuring your processional and the start of your ceremony so that your wedding party does their walk, they are welcomed, perhaps introduced andor roasted, and then they take their seats before you say your vows. It's a simple logistical change with a huge emotional impact. Twee, the card box at the ceremony. Okay. I promised you tweak four was genius, and I meant it. Tess and Michael had their wishing well, their card box, you know, where the guests drop in envelopes with cards and cash gifts in lieu of a wedding registry. They had that positioned at the entrance to their ceremony aisle on a wine barrel with a little sign. So as their guests arrived and walked to the ceremony space, which was outdoors under trees in a grassed area at a winery, they could drop their card off as soon as they rocked up. This again, it sounds simple and it is, but the impact was enormous. Because here's what usually happens guests arrive at a ceremony holding the envelope. You know, card in there, money in there, and they've taken it from their car or they've come on a bus or other transport. They're holding it because there's cash in there. You don't want to let it go. They hold it through the whole ceremony. They hold it through cocktail hour. It's in their hand in every photo. They're trying to keep track of it, they're trying to keep it safe, they're trying to not lose it before they reach the reception, where nine times out of ten, the card box or wishing well is. So they can, you know, finally, safely put it in there, breathe a sigh of relief, and go about celebrating your wedding. And all of that mental load is sitting in the background of their experience of your wedding day. By putting the card box at the ceremony, Tess and Michael did two things. They literally freed their guests' hands for pre-ceremony champagne and water, as I said, that was being offered as they arrived. And they freed their guests' minds because the small task, but annoying, of where do I put this gift envelope was resolved before the celebrations had even properly begun. Now, this shift in how to do things depends on a few different factors of your wedding. Security can be an issue if you're holding your ceremony in a public place or at a venue where other celebrations or weddings are taking place. And if you don't have a coordinator who can take care of the card box and move it to the reception space like just before the ceremony begins or, you know, thereafter, then you could delegate the responsibility to one of your close family members, you know, someone you'd really trust. But that would also mean they might miss part of your ceremony or maybe some photos afterwards. But I'm sure with a bit of forethought and coordination, this approach could be possible for most couples. And it's as simple as positioning your wishing well or card box at the entrance to your ceremony space. Brief your venue or coordinator and have it put there from the moment your guests start arriving. Put a small sign there so it's obvious and make sure someone is responsible for it afterwards to transport it, if need be, to your reception location. Done. Do you know what one of the biggest regrets of newly married couples is? They'll say, I wish I had more memories from my wedding day. It was my favorite day. And one of the smartest ways I've seen couples do this is by making sure that they arrange a quick, foolproof and really simple way to collect and share their guests' wedding photos. Because if you think about it, with an average wedding of, say, a hundred guests, with every one of them taking five photos or videos. I mean, they'll take much more, of course, but I'm talking about the good ones. That's an opportunity for you to collect and download 500 extra photos and videos of their perspective on your wedding day. The stuff that happened that you didn't even get to see. But your barriers are overly complicated instructions or processes. Let's face it, if it takes too long, forces your guest into registering, if you've got to use a certain social media platform, or it's just a pain in the ass. And I'm looking at you, Dropbox and Google Drive. Your family and friends just won't do it. And the tech fear and privacy concerns too, because no one wants to download yet another app that has a data breach. Never miss moments is an essential resource for busy soon-to-beweds just like you. Your unlimited photo and video gallery is held in a secure server for 12 months, and for your guests, it's a one-click QR code solution. There's no app to download, no need to register, and it's quick. Win-win. Your guests will be able to look back on and reminisce about your wedding, and your fam and friends' different perspectives of your wedding day is such an incredible lifelong gift for you too. The team at Never Miss Moments are obsessed with giving you the very best customer service, and I'm stoked to be able to pass on their special 10% off discount offer on their galleries when you go to never missmoments.com forward slash unbridly. So that's never missmoments, all one word, dot com forward slash unbridly, which in case you don't already know, U N B R I D E L Y. The discount will show up in your cart automatically. And of course, I'll pop the link in the show notes for you as well. Tweak number five, the shortest family photo list I reckon I've ever seen. Okay, I need to talk about family photos because this is where so many couples can lose a lot of time and be standing around doing forced smiles while they wait for the seemingly endless combinations of family members in different groups to create photos that they will rarely look at. Tessa Michael had what I suspect was the shortest family photo list ever for a full-scale wedding, because elopements and micro weddings don't count. We're talking a tight, curated, non-negotiable list of the specific groupings that actually mattered to them. And there was no, and then one with the cousins on his side that have the same last name Smith. And then one with the cousins on his side that have the last name Jones. Now one with the cousins' partners who are brunette, you know, like you get the picture. Literally. They had done the work beforehand, they knew exactly what they wanted, and they got through their entire family photo session in 20 minutes flat. 20 minutes. And then they made a brilliant and energetic entrance into their own cocktail hour with their guests, drinking champagne and gin, more on that in a sec, making memories instead of standing in the sun, rearranging or trying to locate their relatives. This is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself on your wedding day. And almost nobody does it intentionally. Most couples either don't think about it until the day or they're too afraid of upsetting someone to cut the list down. But here's the truth. Your guests did not come to your wedding to be in a photo. They came to celebrate with you. And the sooner you're back with them, the better the day feels for everyone. So how to steal this? You need to start early, you sit down well before your wedding, and you write your family photo list. You be brutal and specific. And then you talk to your photographer about how long each grouping will realistically take. Most will tell you to allow two, maybe three minutes per shot, do the maths, then assign a family wrangler, a photo captain. I will also link the episode I did with Valentina about photo captains. You need to know about that. You need someone who knows everyone and can herd people efficiently so your photographer isn't losing time, hunting for Uncle Dave, who is always at the bar, by the way. And then brief your MC or coordinator on the list so it runs like clockwork. Now, tweak six. The cocktail hour entrance that had their guests screaming. I have to tell you about this entrance because the reel I posted of it already has 15,000 views and climbing. And when you hear what they did, you will completely understand why. One of the reasons that Michael and Tess cut down their group photo time so much is because they wanted to attend their own cocktail hour. And they did not walk in to polite applause, they did not do a gentle stroll through a guard of honor while a slow song played. They burst in with full energy. Their wedding party, the music, the momentum, and it was the kind of entrance where you could feel the energy shift. Guests who had been sitting down were suddenly on their feet, people were cheering, they were dancing, the whole terrace caught their vibe like a wave, and it just kept building. And from what I heard, that energy didn't drop for the rest of the night either. Here's what I think couples underestimate about their wedding. Number one, you set the tone. So how you show up is reflected back to you by your guests. And number two, the more time you spend with your guests, the more engaged they'll be in whatever is happening. Also, whether you choose to join your people for cocktail hour or whether your entrance is later on during the reception, it's not just a formality. It can be the emotional reset of the entire evening. It's a moment, the night goes from gathering to celebration. And how you arrive in that room or in that space, it sets the temperature for everything that follows. So how to steal this? You need to start with the music, I think. Start with the song or songs. Michael and Tessa's bridesmaid had one song, the groomsman another. And then Tess and Michael did their own thing too with a little pre choreographed dance. I'll share that link, that real link in the show notes so you can have a look. But these songs that you choose for your entrance, they need to be ones that you all love and can really get behind. Ones that make you move. Talk to your DJ or your band about the build-up, the timing, your MC about how to announce you, and that moment when the doors open or you stride in. Choreograph it loosely with your wedding party so at least everyone knows the energy that you're going for, and then commit to it completely. Your guests will absolutely follow your lead. And if you come in like you're having the best day of your life, they will respond likewise. So tweak number seven: a self-serve gin station at cocktail hour. So back to this gin. Tess and Michael had a self-serve gin station during cocktail hour, and it was an absolute hit. We're talking a beautiful setup, bottles of different gin with mixes, big tub of ice, and a gorgeous spread of fresh fruit and herb garnishes. So if you think cucumber slices, um pink grapefruit, orange wheels, fresh rosemary mint, lemon, lime, um, edible flowers, you know, the works. And here's the thing about a self-serve station: it's not just about the drink, it's about the experience of making it. It's the personalization aspect. The guests gathered around it, chatted about what combinations they were trying and made each other's drinks, compared garnishes, you know, it became a social hub. It was an activity, like a talking point. For about 45 minutes, that gin station was the most popular one by three meters at the whole venue. It can also take the pressure off your bar staff during cocktail hour, which means faster service for everyone else. And it gives non-drinkers or low drinkers something interactive to engage with, especially if you put out a non-alcoholic gin, a nice tonic water or sparkling water as an option, so they can make a beautiful alcohol-free version too. So, how to steal this? Have a chat with your caterer or bar team about a self-serve station concept. Uh, it depends on where you are. Some venues might not be able to put the alcohol itself there, but they can always pre-pour the gin and then just let you go crazy on the mixes and the garnish and things like that. You don't have to do gin either. So it could be a spritz station, a mimosa bar at a brunch wedding, or even a build-your-own mocktail setup. You know, have a listen to episode 177, all about mocktails. So the key elements are a beautiful visual presentation, generous selection of garnishes, clear labels or signage, and enough space for guests to gather around it comfortably. Simple as that. And tweak number eight was a donut van for late-night snacks. So by the time late night hits at a wedding, so we're talking post-9-ish, your guests have been there for hours. They've had dinner, yes, but they've also been dancing and drinking and generally expending a lot of energy. And so, what happens at most weddings at this point? People start to fade. They start to drift, the energy drops. Tess and Michael solved this with a donut van, a literal van parked up, serving fresh hot cinnamon donuts to order. And from the moment it opened, the energy at that wedding was completely revitalized. And the guests who had been thinking about leaving suddenly had another reason to stay. The line for the donut van, it became a whole new social moment. More conversations, more laughter, more connection. And then everyone was back on the dance floor with a sugary boost and a second wind. Late night food is got to be one of the most underused tools in the wedding planning toolkit. And it doesn't have to be a van. It could be, it could be as simple as a pizza delivery, it might be a grazing board that comes out. Um, I've seen toasted cheese sandwiches, God, they were good, uh, ice creams or a loaded fries set up. The point is that food at that moment in the night is not just fuel, it's an event. And it's another reason to gather. And it's one of the most cost-effective ways to extend the energy and enjoy of your reception by a solid hour or even two. So, how to steal this? Have a chat to your venue or you cater about what's possible for late-night food, whether that's something they can provide or whether outside vendors are permitted. Think about what would feel fun and on brand for you as a couple. You know, what do you really love? What do you crave when it gets late? And plan for it to open around 9, 9.30 when the energy naturally dips. So bringing this all together, what do these eight tweaks have in common? Let's zoom out for a second because I want to name the thread that runs through all of these little decisions. As I said, none of them cost a fortune. None of them like required a wedding planner or a massive budget. What they required was intention. Michael and Tess sat down and they thought about their day from the perspective of their guests and from their own perspective as a couple who actually wanted to be present at their own wedding. Private vows, so they could be emotionally present at their ceremony, pre-ceremony champagne, so their guests arrived relaxed and welcomed, their wedding party seated, so their closest people could experience their ceremony, the card box at the entrance, so their friends and family could have free hands as quick as possible, free minds, a very short photo list so Tess and Michael could get back to their people in 20 minutes flat. A legendary cocktail hour entrance. The whole place caught fire from the moment they walked in. Their self-served gin station, their cocktail hour had energy and a social heart, and the donut van, their night had a delicious second act. Every one of these is available to you. You don't have to do all late. I would suggest maybe pick one or two that sound really good to you and make them yours. Adapt them, personalize them, make them fit your venue and your vibe and your people. But I hope what Tessa Michael's wedding shows you is that the most memorable weddings are rarely the ones where you have to drop the most cash. They're the ones where someone stopped and asked, what would make this feel really, really good, and then actually did it. So I'd love to know which of these eight ideas are you planning on stealing? Or have you already done something like this at your own wedding or seen it at one you've attended? Come over to Instagram, let me know at Unbridly, or you can send me a 90-second voice message on SpeakPipe. The link is always in the show notes. And until next time, celebrate your people. That about wraps it up for this episode of the Umbradly Podcast. For the links and resources we mentioned, please head to the show notes. And if you love the show, please review and subscribe on the podcast platform you're on now so you don't miss out on a single episode. Thanks so much for listening, and remember, weddings are a team sport. Catch you soon.