Have you ever handed over an important project or responsibility to someone you trust just before you go and leave, only to come back to find out that your colleagues spent the whole time desperately holding the pieces together behind the scenes so you wouldn't find out? In the wedding industry, there is an unspoken code. What happens on a wedding day stays on a wedding day. So we fix the problems, cover the gaps, smile, and for the most part, we try to make it look effortless. Because the couple getting married aren't just our clients or the ones who booked us for the job, they are also the guests of honor. And so protecting their experience and memories is the whole fucking point. But that code of silence has a very real cost because when couples hand important vendor roles to friends or family members who aren't experienced, or book someone so new that they're practically working for free, it creates a ripple effect that runs right through the whole day. And most couples never know it happened. Now I want to be up front about something. A conversation like this one can sound self-serving, like vendors recommending their mates for jobs, or that I'm trying to talk you out of saving money. I get that. But also, after nearly four years of the Umbradly Podcast, I hope you know that I wouldn't be bringing this to you if I didn't believe the topic matters. So here's my promise to you this is going to be the first episode of a three-part series. Today and next week in parts one and two, Teresa and Tony from Wilson and Lewis Photography are going to share their perspective and experiences of love hires. And in the episode after that, in part three, I'm giving you something practical. What to do instead of a love hire. Plus, if you've listened to all of the advice and you're still going ahead with one, the planning tweaks you can use to genuinely reduce the risk. No judgment, just information. Teresa and Tony are two of the most trusted names in the South Australian wedding industry. And for more than 10 years, they've worked in photo and video on wedding days from first light to last song. They're here to say the things that most vendors won't say out loud. Not to complain, but because they believe you deserve to know what's actually at stake. In part one, you're going to hear what a love hire actually is and why couples are turning to the more than ever, what it really costs the couple, and what happens to that friend or family member who says yes without truly understanding the size of the job they've just taken on. This is the kind of discussion the wedding industry doesn't usually have in public. And that's exactly why we're having it. Let's get stuck into it. Unbridly is a community of pro-wedding vendors who believe in freedom and integrity in weddings, giving you options, solutions, tips and tricks to create the experience and memories that you and your fiance really want and deserve. Because we believe that weddings are a team sport with how-to's, stories and interviews with recently married couples. We find out what went right and what they've changed if they could go back and do it all over again. I'm Camille and welcome to the Unbridly Podcast. Hi Tony, hi Teresa, welcome. Thanks. Hi Pamus. Thanks for thanks for coming over. Yes, well, we we've got to tell everyone, you're sitting in your beautiful lounge space, and I've been relegated to a corner of the kitchen, which I think is a bit rude.
SPEAKER_02Hey.
SPEAKER_01We're having problems with Echo, and so you know, here we are.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but thanks for coming down to our part of town.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, a little corner in South Australia. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Down to rural South Australia.
SPEAKER_01It is a bit, isn't it?
SPEAKER_02I mean, technically we are.
SPEAKER_01Feeling the country vibes.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we're definitely feeling country vibes. I mean, technically that we are in like a rural part of South Australia, but what? It's still only 45 minutes to town, so it's not that yeah, but mate, you got good internet, so got good internet, got a vineyard out the back? What do you need?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we've kind of got the best of both worlds here. Oh the town with all of its fun little shops and restaurants and everything, and then you've got the vineyard just out of the back.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, in our little town of Walunga.
SPEAKER_01Beautiful, gorgeous area. But your puppies, where have the dogs gone?
SPEAKER_02Okay. Starbuck, Ripley, come in.
SPEAKER_00They're just kind of like sleeping by our feet at the moment.
SPEAKER_02We've got one mascot. One mascot there who might snort. Like a very fluffy mobile carpet. Yes. And we've got another sleeping one, and I think she's just gonna sleep the rest of the time, and now I think she's a bit tired. So gorgeous.
SPEAKER_01We'll have to show you, like, yeah, uh, the visuals on Instagram because people have to appreciate how gorgeous your puppies are.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I feel like maybe halfway through we'll need to get one up on the couch with her sitting in the middle to so you know she can also put her two cents in as well.
SPEAKER_01Mate, when you start getting excited, I know they're gonna react, and we've got a lot to talk about today. Okay. But firstly, um, if you want to introduce who you are, what you do, where you've come from.
SPEAKER_02Sure. So we are Teresa and Tony, but our business is our last names, Wilfin and Lewis Photography. So we do photos and we do videos purely for for weddings and engagements.
SPEAKER_00It started a very long time ago, like not to show too much of our age, but yeah, we've been a bit. But we've been at in Adelaide now since for 10 years. Uh we moved from overseas, we moved from London. Um Teresa's originally from Sydney.
SPEAKER_02I can really show how old we are if you want, but like I do feel like we run the risk of just like starting to become those real old folks because we'd shot our first wedding in 2012. So that feels like a long time ago. But we've been doing this full-time for 10 years. So we shot in 2012, but then we weren't full-time until 2016.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we sort of come to with a game plan of uh book as many weddings as you can as quickly as you can, or you've got to get day jobs. And it's amazing how much fear is a motivator.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, wanting to eat is a really good motivator. It really is, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Totally. Adelaide's been very welcome to us, and we've been pretty successful here. Uh yeah, we're 10 years deep in Adelaide now and 10 years strong and still loving every minute of it.
SPEAKER_02Yep, every weekend you can just find us on someone else's dance floor dancing with their grandma. And it's bizarre and beautiful and wonderful, and it's a strange job to have when you really consider what we do, is we attend people's weddings with their family who we've never met before, and then we kind of lurk around taking photos of videos of them kissing in a non-creepy way. And like when you think about that, that we're able to make a living out of this, it's it's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_01It's bloody brilliant, guys. And you're one of a group of very trusted vendors, like here locally in Adelaide, South Australia, because of not just the photos and the videos that you take, but your relationships with other vendors. And I know that's very important to you too. And we were talking earlier today just about, you know, you've got these standard lunch dates with some vendors, and you're at a party a couple of nights ago with other vendors. And this is one of the massive reasons why we wanted to talk about this topic today, about love hires. Because I know like you feel strongly, right?
SPEAKER_02Yes. I think as well, like we really come from a point of view where we believe that if you put the right people in the right places and you put the right suppliers into any wedding or any event, those people become a team. And we've always said to each other, we said to other people as well, that you know, you you have all these suppliers from all these different categories, and you know, the the couple booking each one of us books us once, you know, and then for a lot of those suppliers they never see them again. But the suppliers themselves, what a lot of couples don't really take into consideration is that actually we're seeing those same suppliers year in, year out. So we become each other's colleagues, we become the team. So we are really the colleagues of everybody else, even though we're not in the same category as them, but we are constantly working with each other. And I think it's so important. And I think also to be able to be successful within the wedding industry, I think fostering those relationships is really key and really important. So we've always tried to do that.
SPEAKER_00I think probably coming from two big cities. You know, each business they very rarely interact with each other except for on a wedding day. Yeah, but then they never speak to each other. And and London life is often like that as well, where people don't speak to each other, too afraid, too busy, too whatever. When we got here, it sounds like such a cliche, but community over competition was our mantra. And it's continued to be that all the way through. And we've we found by putting ourselves out there, connecting with as many vendors that we could, that's how we sort of paved the way to where we are now.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And there is a community out there. For anyone like trying to get into the wedding industry as well. Um, I think when you start, you don't realize that that community does exist. Especially like I think we're very lucky here in Adelaide, in our little corner of the world, that it is so supportive. And I think part of that is also what you do. And I think what you've always done is create that community and you've always been passionate about that. So I do remember 10 years ago when we first came to Adelaide seeing the unbridly name out there already, already building this network and this community of very like-minded suppliers who come to this uh, you know, from the same point of view where we all just want to do the best for the couples, but also the best for each other as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you're so right. You know, while we might be completely immersed in a particular wedding with a particular couple, we've still got to look like at each other in the face the day after and not piss people off and not um, you know, stample over people's creativity and uh their ability to be able to do their jobs really well, that dance between vendors becomes so, so important, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I think that's right. That's a perfect way to describe it is as a dance. Because just like a dance as well, once you become more experienced, once you've worked with the same people a few times, that dance becomes almost more well-rehearsed and more choreographed, and you naturally then know each other's styles, you know who's leading, you know who's following, or you know when that switches as well. And there's throughout a wedding day, it's really interesting because I do feel like there is this natural handover that happens, particularly for weddings. And I know the majority of weddings that don't have a planner or a coordinator dedicated to the couple on board that day, and the majority of weddings don't. So the way this the flow goes on weddings is the kind of control of the wedding day gets passed from one supplier to the next, to the next. And we kind of have these moments where you you hand over to the next person and then it smooths.
SPEAKER_00It's kind of like a relay race. Yeah, and yeah, if you've watched that in the Olympics, they pass the baton. Yeah, and it just looks so effortless. You know, when a team is on fire, it just literally, you know, the responsibility of who's in control right now, who's doing what gets passed from one to another to another, and it's super seamless. And yet again, like at the Olympics, you only notice that it goes wrong is when they drop the bat. Yeah, yeah. And it's that same thing at a wedding, too. Sometimes goes majority of the time where there's those little fumbles that go unnoticed by couples. And that's how it should be. That's how it should be. The ideal is, you know, uh the analogy of a duck. You know, a duck is calm and serene above water, but you know, below the water, their legs are frantically kicking around. Yeah, you know, that is kind of analogous for a wedding. There's lots of little little bumps along the road, but it's up to the team to kind of smooth that out and ensure that guests aren't seeing that. To be sure that the couple definitely aren't seeing that as well. And yeah, it should be this smooth handoff between suppliers, one to another to another. So there's this sort of overlap of each service, how they rub up gets other services and how they can help each other out and how they can sometimes there can be some pressure.
SPEAKER_02And in a way, just to expand on what you said about that, you know, the guests and the couple, they should never know those little things, those problem solvings that happen behind the scenes. And that's great. And when no one knows, that's when everybody's doing their job properly. But in a way, I also do feel like because we all, as suppliers, we all hide that stuff, we keep that hidden, we keep that secret. In a way, I do feel like sometimes part of that is a bit of a disservice to the client because then no one fully, truly understands how much is actually happening behind the scenes and the interplay between different suppliers and how we do come together and we work things out and we are this team that makes these events happen. People don't realize all those little things that people do, which is actually a lot more than you'll ever see on the surface, like that duck analogy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and that's exactly why we wanted to have a chat about this topic, guys, wasn't it? Because we can't choose uh who else a particular couple book for vendors, you know. We we see each other at a wedding, guys, and we're like, oh, it's you, oh my god, thank God, excellent, you know. Should we do this? Should we do that? And we have this great, you know, rapport, but that's not always a given. But what we're finding is that there's this new player in the game, and it's not the new vendor, and it's not the old vendor, it's the love hire, which is a whole new game all together that um well, sometimes it's a bit of oil in the mix. Do you want to explain what a love hire is for those who aren't familiar?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Do you want to go?
SPEAKER_01You go ahead.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so what we're deeming a love hire is kind of like I suppose the DIY version, instead of getting, you know, a professional supplier, the DIY version is getting your friend or family member to fill that role instead. And I think I want to preface this by saying that we can never tell anybody how a wedding should be because every single one is unique and special and great. And you know what? Sometimes that love hire can do an amazing job. And sometimes it can work smoothly and seamlessly, but I think that's probably in the minority, and the majority of the time that love hire is if it's maybe I'm gonna use an MC because I think to us that's a big one as a big example. I think sometimes the person who is being that love hire and fulfilling that role of an MC, it might be a friend or a family member, then they often don't fully understand how big that task is. And I think sometimes the couple don't understand how big that role is because of all those behind-the-scenes things that that role entails. And they don't realize until they get to that night and they go, Oh shit, this is actually really big.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then that's when the penny drops. So I think that love hire, yes, it's it can be any role within that event space, within that wedding space, um, that you are putting the pressure onto someone that you know to fulfill that instead. And look, there are pros and cons with that. There, I think with it less than anything.
SPEAKER_00Using the MC analogy, there is that comfort, there is that instant connection with that you know who sex the best man or the bridesmaid that gets up, someone you know, standing there in front of you and talking to you. And I appreciate that, I love that. And sometimes these people are comedians or they are you know public speakers, so they have that in their wheelhouse and they have the skill set to do it. But it does then also mean that they are limited to their one or two drinks because they know deep down that they're working. Or we go the other way where they switch off and think, We're not working right now. I'm at a wedding and let's get on the beers, and you know, they just start hitting the alcohol, and we've seen it go that way too.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, and the ad living starts, and you know, I mean you don't know what's gonna happen.
SPEAKER_00It's hilarious to watch. But at the same time, at the same time, you know, they are there to kind of help fulfill a role, and there's that other side to it where there is that they need to be maintaining on the other side to ensure that meals are being served online, to ensure that you know they don't just randomly start speech shoots when uh the video crew or the photographers are out having their dinner or it's also that thing of just ensuring that everybody truly knows.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes. So this is our dog Ripley.
SPEAKER_01Hello Ripley. Can you come up here, baby girl?
SPEAKER_02I've always wondered if we can maybe just mount camera to her and bring her to a wedding day. See if anybody would like dog cam at their wedding. I'm not sure. You would definitely love it. You'd be a you'd be a love hire, but um the you know, you might have a lot of hair on a bride's dress.
SPEAKER_01She's beautiful.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so we will have mascots throughout this. Um but I do also think that with this whole love hire discussion, I think what's important to educate people on is the role of which you know each supplier um fulfills. And it's absolutely fine to have a love hire, but you have to have the expectation of what that's gonna be when you just get a friend doing something versus when you have a professional doing something. And I think the pitfall is when people just go, Oh, well, that's easy, I'll just get my friend to do it. But they have this expectation because they've seen what a professional can do. And then on the day, it's a lot of work, and then potentially the couple are also disappointed because you know it's not really fulfilling their dreams of what they expected it to be.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I think also where I can come off the rails at that point, is as I alluded to before about you know people not being in the right place when speeches happen or that type of thing, is that it does then put an extra pressure on the venue staff or it puts an extra pressure on the video team and the photo team to coordinate. Basically, time where we should be taking candid photos of guests and videos of guests, interacting with one another, we're no longer doing that. We're actually spending time walking up to the MC saying, Hey, species are about to start in five minutes. Could you please make an announcement that species would be happy and get everyone to top up the drink? So that we end up we don't mind doing this because we you know we want everything to run smoothly and we want to help, but at the same time, it does take our mind away from our job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which primarily is taking photographs and videos.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think no matter where it is, um, and whether it's a love pie or not, to be honest, but if anything is lacking from a certain supplier, there will always be someone else that's picking up the flack. And if you can avoid that and just make sure that that other person can just really focus on their job rather than fixing on someone else's job, because to be honest with you, if your you know, a friend or something has done the flowers when a bouquet is falling apart, a celebrant, you know, is going to step in and go, Oh, well, I'm gonna try to tidy that up for you. But then that might take them away from maybe speaking to someone else, getting prepared for a ceremony. So you're taking that person's focus away to help with someone else's job.
SPEAKER_01It's about that interplay, isn't it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it is.
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SPEAKER_02I think budget is a big thing to be honest. I think it is, and the pro of it is it is it's money saving. If you can get someone to do it for you, you don't have to pay that professional. So it is a really good way to Keep the cost down. And I totally appreciate that that's hard. You know, cost of living is high, you know, petrol prices are high.
SPEAKER_00While we're on that note, it affects everybody. Across the board, that is why vendors do charge what they charge fundamentally. Like, you know, that is a huge part of it. And we're all in the same bubble together. So if you're feeling the pinch, we also feel the pinch. So costs in order to facilitate our service, they must go up to key the lights. Yeah, fundamentally.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, totally. Totally. So you can understand the motivation. You guys, photograph and video, weddings from the start of the day to the finish of the day. What do you think love hires are actually costing the couple? If it's not costing them in money, what do you think it is costing them, even if they never find out?
SPEAKER_00I think very much what we touched on before. I mean moments are often lost to time, just where our attention is diverted elsewhere. I hate to use the term babysitting, but sometimes it it is babysitting, it's holding someone's hand and helping them through the process of what happens next or what we require them to do for us to facilitate our job. And that's something that if you have an amazing team with vendors around you, they just do that anyway. They overlap their services, they hand off that batten, as I was saying earlier, and basically we can just sort of smoothly perform our job, which for us is deserving and capturing the events as they unfold. Whereas there will often be moments throughout the day where we are then sort of taking our attention away from it. Even in strange currencies, the amount of times that I've found Teresa in a corridor fixing a dress where it's been you know fixed for I've had my head up many a bride's dress. Um I've seen it very often. I've around and then suddenly Theresa's got a hand up a dress somewhere where she's literally helping to fix somebody's dress. Very trusting partner tiny. They've got a very nice dress, but then at the end realize they needed alterations that they just did alterations through or mum used to make my clothes or something along those lines before. And then it's sort of you know, time is being taken away from from the bride at that point. The bride is standing there, having to have her dress fixed rather than enjoying her wedding. And I'm not saying that that goes on to become the lasting memory of the day. Yeah, far from it. Yeah. But at the same time, that could have been time spent having an interaction with a family member or a friend, but they haven't seen it.
SPEAKER_02That's true. And I know that at that time it's interesting because I'm gonna use that dress example that you know, um having me sewing a part of a dress back on that's come apart, it's usually like the clasp that at the top of the zipper, there's a little clasp, usually it's that bit. But if you know someone hasn't done that properly, that's what I'm sewing back on. And I know a lot of people will listen and think, well, for yeah, my mum's there, they'll do it. But here's the thing at that time in a reception at a wedding, we're probably the only sober ones. So who do you want with a sharp needle behind you? Do you want someone that's been drinking or do you want the sober professional that's seen a lot of wedding dresses before? I'm gonna choose the sober person to not stab me with a needle. So that's why then you know that's that person that picks up the slack. Because I know mum's there and mum could probably, auntie or whoever can probably, you know, give it a go, but are you gonna trust them after they're a few glasses deep?
SPEAKER_01And that's something that I wanted to ask you as well, because I'm guessing one of the most common love hires is MC, and they do their best, and sometimes it's great to have that person that knows you, knows the people in the room, and you've discussed and talked about the sort of things that they miss because they just don't know. They don't do this every weekend. But is this Ripley? This is Ripley, okay. Ripley. Duh. She wants to be famous. I get it. She does. She does. Just the butt. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I worry that she's getting picked up on her microphones, or you can hear us this choo-choo train.
SPEAKER_01There is a bit of panting, but I think we'll be okay. Um, but yeah, that this MC who, you know, uh can do their job in inverted commas well enough to the outside, but it's the suppliers who might be scrambling to pull things together behind the scenes. That's one thing. But can you talk to me about that person? Let's say it's an uncle. Let's say uncle's up there, he's being the MC. Talk to me a bit about his experience in the lead up to the wedding and on the night.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, absolutely. So it's gonna be different every wedding, but I think, you know, generally, let's call I'm gonna call him Uncle John. Uncle John, our MC. So, Uncle John, I think before the day, he's probably been given the job by the couple. Great, he says, absolutely, what an honor. And not realizing how much there is to do. The venue will then say, All right, here's our housekeeping rules that will usually include where the toilets are, where the bar is, where the smoking area is, emergency exits, what to do in case of fire, especially when we're working or like around here in wine regions and regional areas, there'll be uh, you know, evacuation point. So there's a couple of those health and safety things that the venue will say, you need to say this. But then on top of that, the DJ will say, All right, well, you also have to go up there before every speech, five or ten minutes before the speeches happen, and say, Yo, speeches are about to happen, um, go grab a drink, last chance to go to the toilet, come back, and we'll be back with you in a moment. Then before the speech, you have to introduce that person after that person's finished speaking. It's amazing how unless you tell a crowd what to do, they don't do it. So you have to get back on that microphone and say, keep that applause going for such and such. Wasn't that a lovely mother of the bride speech? And without that, it doesn't feel like there's a celebration with that atmosphere. There are so many touch points that an MC has to do. So already they're then being given this enormous script that they have to follow. And normally that script might be given to them ahead of time by a DJ. We actually do give our couples uh a script for MCs as well when they're choosing a friend to do that. I know a lot of other photographers and videographers don't. We just find it helpful and to give all that information up front, or they're finding that out on the day and feeling overwhelmed. They've got to do a lot of learning, um, you know, revising over this, maybe a bit of rehearsing if they are feeling nervous about it. But then on the day itself, there comes a whole lot of other things because an MC almost becomes like a behind-the-scenes on-the-day coordinator. And a lot of people don't realize that that is also the role of an MC is to coordinate the reception. So that person does become in charge of talking to the venue to see when the kitchen's ready, when plates of food are coming and going, when staff are about to begin or finish service.
SPEAKER_00And it sounds like, you know, some people will be questioning what why? Why why do they need to do that? And it is something that people have to think about that fundamentally that Turkens are trying to produce food for a hundred, a hundred and fifty, you know, some weddings are smaller, thirty, forty people. But still, trying to get a food on table for seven or eight people when people come over for dinner is hard enough, but trying to for that many people and get it out while the food's still hot and still tasty, and you've still got a pink steak rather than a well-done steak. That's some tough going. So then if suddenly speeches are overrunning by 15, 20 minutes, all your food's sat underneath a heat man. So then all this food that you've planned for ages to have for your guests all comes out not ruined, but not in its trial. So there's that sort of knock-on effect in that way. And there's a sense of responsibility that most MCs then realize that they're part of. Yeah. And I think that's a huge asking.
SPEAKER_02And I think on that note, for that example, I think when you get someone who's maybe experienced professional MC, they might make the call to go, all right, these speeches are overrunning. There's the you know, plates of food in the kitchen ready to go. We're gonna pause speeches and we're gonna start this again afterwards because I know that that needs to happen now. So they're helping out the kitchen by going, no, we're gonna pause this, let's bring out the food, and then we'll wait or we'll finish the speeches afterwards. And to be able to make that call on the day, you need to have an understanding of all the elements of the wedding and how everything's going and the timeline. And if you don't know that, you know, if you don't look to see, okay, the kitchen are really stressed out right now because they need to start bringing food out, those speeches are just going to carry on happening. And then you've really pissed off the chef.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's such a great point because we do have, you know, scripts and we have timelines and we have plans and we have plans on plans on plans. And um, you know, maybe you can share, guys, how often those plans actually run to plan. Never.
SPEAKER_00In terms of timing? Yeah, no.
SPEAKER_02Never. Especially when it gets to reception. And a reception is fluid. We can plan till the cows come home. For once you get to a wedding reception, it just becomes the ideal is to have a smooth reception. It doesn't have to run like clockwork on time as what the plan is. But if it can be smooth, that's what we want. And the MC kind of becomes in charge of that.
SPEAKER_00I mean, a a small peek behind the curtain, one of the ways that we got a really good reputation with venues was our timekeeping. So more often than not, if on the timeline it said that the couple were entering at 6 p.m. sharp, we would have them back from their portraits and they were walking through the door at 6 p.m. sharp. It was just something that we always aim to do and always manage to do it. But unfortunately, that then does mean everything earlier needs to run on time. Otherwise, what is stolen from the couple is their portrait time somewhere. It's got to come from somewhere. Because if they provide us a list of family photos, say ceremony overruns by 20 minutes, we've got to make up 20 minutes somewhere. And usually there's a little bit of congratulation time. We don't want to completely take that away from our couples. We want to celebrate with their guests. Then there may be a list of 15, 20 family photos that we can't deviate from. And you know, Auntie may want her one, and somebody else might want to add another photo on there without without approaching. Don't you love them?
SPEAKER_01Could I just get a photo with cousin Jimmy? He's come all the way from Townsville. Of course.
SPEAKER_02And and you know what? Of course, of course you can. Absolutely. The answer is always going to be yes, yes, of course you can do that. But it comes at a cost of time. Yeah. And we always tell our couples that anything's possible, as long as we've got the time to do it. Anything is possible. But I think the timekeeping is a big thing. And I think as well, where stuff kind of falls apart, and the only time when a couple will notice something is if they are feeling rushed or stressed because something the timing hasn't worked somewhere. And that's when the only time a couple will start noticing something, and that might be a bit of a downfall of a love hire situation.
SPEAKER_01You're spot on Teresa. Um, just that it doesn't sound too bad from like talking about it and describing it, but it's um almost intangible, especially to the couple in the lead up, until they're there on the day and they just feel like they're being pulled from pillar to post really quickly, and they don't have the chance to actually enjoy their own wedding because of this knock-on effect that we're talking about, this domino effect of you know, this extra minute and a half pushing into this extra minute and a half, and then someone's gone to the toilet when they should have been at the speeches, but the Love Hire MC didn't check. And it just compounds into a bit of a pressure cooker environment. On any day of the week, we all do this no matter where you work, if you're in an office, everyone's you know, under pressure. This is your wedding day. Do you want to feel that under pressure on your wedding day, or do you want the space and time to actually enjoy it?
SPEAKER_02We spoke about this earlier today, actually, before you arrived, and I want to mention this again that we were having a chat, and we said to each other, you know what? A couple can never be the host of their own wedding. They are always a guest, they are the guest of honor, but they can never be a host. And you need to rely on the other people that you put in place to be that host at different times of the day, because otherwise you are being pulled from pillar to post and everybody wants something of you, everybody's asking you a question, everybody's asking you to organize something, and the couple shouldn't be in that position because if you are trying to be that, if you are trying to organize and coordinate and host this day, you're not enjoying it because you don't have space and time and just the mental headspace to be a guest.
SPEAKER_01Really good point. The other thing that I wanted to, you know, touch on was so Uncle John, you know, he's done this great job. Bravo, Uncle John, seriously. But we're talking about Uncle John as an MC. What what about the fact that he's the bride's uncle, the groom's uncle, the couple's uncle? I mean, is that what he really thought he was getting into? Sure, he might be gregarious, he might be hilarious with a couple of beers under his belt, but did he really expect to be working a 10 to 12 hour day with no downtime, you know?
SPEAKER_02Probably not at all. He probably expected to be able to have a few beers, you know, catch up with his family, have a nice meal, you know, pull out some of those dance moves later on. Yeah. Um, I I honestly, when people do have friends and family being the MCs, I get very concerned that that person doesn't have time to really enjoy it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And I can kind of see it sometimes. Sometimes look, I will say that sometimes a love hire can work when it's someone who already has the experience and loves it and is actually a bit of a passion of theirs and loves being on the microphone. Great. But when someone doesn't who maybe has never even handled a microphone before to get up and speak in front of that many people and coordinate a wedding in that way, I look at them and I just go, they're so stressed. They're so stressed out, and they can't just relax and enjoy.
SPEAKER_00At the same time, we can create the rot for our own back in some ways because we're service providers, we're in a service role, we're there to facilitate people having a good time. So we're there to encourage people, tell people you're doing such an amazing job. So Uncle John, I could be having a stinker of a night. Yes. Here we are.
SPEAKER_02We're rubbing his back and being like, You've got this. Yeah, we believe in you.
SPEAKER_01We can't tell the truth, can we? Like, honestly, can you imagine if you actually, you know, if Uncle John is dropping the ball all over the place, the last thing you're gonna do is, you know, say, for fuck's sake, man, get your act together. You know, like we're never gonna say that to him. So he might think he's an absolute superstar. That's the other danger. Uncle John could completely cock it up. And then, you know, cousin Jenny goes, Oh, Uncle John, could you do it for me as well? And next thing you know, he thinks he's he's actually okay. Absolutely. We've facilitated that.
SPEAKER_02Like we can't win, we can't win. No, that's so true because we are there to pump people up, and we are there to be party starters and to encourage everyone. And our job is not only and for everybody at a wedding, uh the job isn't only just the job that you're hired to do and all that other behind the scenes stuff, it's also to be the energy and to be the support and to be the cheerleaders and to say, Yeah, you got this, what a great day. This is amazing, you've done a wonderful job, and that's how we ensure that everybody does have a great time. And the last thing you ever want to do is put anyone down or make them doubt themselves in any way, shape, or form. Because then even if Uncle John isn't doing a great job, always say, Come on, mate, I could have been a bit better. He's gonna go, he might have gone over cry in the corner at the end of the night. I don't want that.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. That's not the name of the game, but um, yeah, man, what a fine line. It's crazy. So, of course, the other side, guys, is when you've got the love hire, and you mentioned it before, Tony, they're maybe not doing everything that a professional would do, which means there's a gap between, you know, what you need to do your job and what's actually being delivered from that particular vendor, let's say it's Uncle John again. Poor guy.
SPEAKER_02We're really picking on Uncle John's.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I feel bad. Uncle John, look, we love you. We love you. But yeah, what what does it mean for you guys if you're having to, I don't know, check in on him, make sure that he's okay, make sure he's prepared for the next bit, you know, that's got to be taking away from what you do too. Totally. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, it can it can be quantified. We've seen it just in sheer amount of photo numbers. We know uh roughly how many photos we take per hour and how long our videos are. And if we are then babysitting and kind of hand-holding and you know, really starting to help people through. Um, I'll get onto a bit of a disaster case in a moment. Teresa's smiling because she knows what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_01Oh, come on. Well, no, no, don't make us wait, Tony. Tell us. That about wraps it up for this episode of the Umbradly Podcast. For the links and resources we mentioned, please head to the show notes. And if you love the show, please review and subscribe on the podcast platform you're on now so you don't miss out on a single episode. Thanks so much for listening, and remember, weddings are a team sport. Catch you soon.