12oz of Sobriety

Sober Talk FriYay!!!!

July 08, 2022 Pat, Robbie, and Carson Season 1 Episode 6
Sober Talk FriYay!!!!
12oz of Sobriety
More Info
12oz of Sobriety
Sober Talk FriYay!!!!
Jul 08, 2022 Season 1 Episode 6
Pat, Robbie, and Carson

After two-weeks off, we are back. This conversation-driven episode covers multiple facets of our daily lives that we have switched-up to help maintain our sobriety.

Show Notes Transcript

After two-weeks off, we are back. This conversation-driven episode covers multiple facets of our daily lives that we have switched-up to help maintain our sobriety.

Welcome everybody to the 12 ounces of sobriety podcast. My name is pat sharp here with my fabulous co-host Robbie Carson. Welcome guys. Uh, one to apologize. It's been, I don't know, probably 10, 12 days since we last released an episode, I had went outta town and then when I got back, I. It got COVID. And so here we are.

I'll talk about that a little bit. I know I'd mentioned in my, in the last episode, I was going to New Hampshire for a buddy's wedding. Um, I'd left on Wednesday, the 22nd got back on Monday, the 27th.  when I got back, it was, it was a fun trip and I'll get into it more. The day I got back, we were gonna record that day and I was driving back from the airport and I had a tire go out on me on the interstate, and that was kind of a fiasco to get the spare cha spare tire put on and then take it, get a new tire.

And it took, I don't know, four hours. And so I texted Robbie and Carson said, It's kind of what's going on. Don't know if we're gonna be able to record. And as I sit there, like my throat started hurting, started feeling a little worse and worse. By the time I got home, I felt, you know, like shit and just passed out, woke up the next day.

Didn't feel any better. Took a co took COVID test and I was, um, positive, but feeling better now. , I'm Matt. Day 117. So I'm coming up on four months. Four months will be on the 10th. Where are you guys at? I, uh, just said 86 days. So I'm very excited about that. It's been 86 days since I, 86, the alcohol. Ooh, Ooh.

Hey yo. Good stuff. And I just hit day 1 52. Nice. Congrats. Well, thank you very much for that big one 50, right? You're getting close to the six month mark mm-hmm  um, I'm getting the four months and Carson. You're almost to 90 days knocking on the door. You're gonna go pick up a chip anywhere.  we'll see. Yeah, I should probably should I, should I need to start collecting those?

I need to get better. Don't don't uh, follow my example. If you look over on my desk right there, there's three chips I have. Yeah, you can play a poker game with those chips. So, uh, in the last episode, I I'd mentioned about my trip and little worried about going away, you know, kind of leaving the safety of my bubble.

I've created in sobriety. Had a good time though, played a ton of golf and. Uh, went to a wedding. Uh, the wedding was on a lake and it was in the middle of the afternoon. And of course everybody was sitting around drinking. So that was really the only time I had some cravings, just cuz we were sitting at the lake and, and so we dipped out. it was interesting though. I'd always said I'd miss living in New Hampshire and going back there and spending six days there. I don't miss living there anymore. I miss my friends of course, but they all live the lifestyle that we used to. They all drink all day, every day. Most of 'em, that's all they do, you know, they work and stuff, of course, but they're always drinking and looking back.

You know, that used to be my lifestyle and it isn't anymore. And I couldn't be around that day in and day out. It was fine while I was on vacation, I was able to get through it, but I was happy to get back here and kind of get back up to a normal routine. And that's what kind of sucked about getting back and then getting COVID because I wasn't able to, you know, get back in routine, but this week's been nice.

Getting back to work, getting back to meetings. Um, getting back to going to op and getting back on that routine and continuing on, because, you know, I think you guys would agree that a routine is vitally important, especially early on, in sobriety to maintaining, right? .

Yeah. It's funny. You bring that up last night, we were in group and we were just going over triggers and we were kind of evaluating how everybody's weekend was going or it went. And, um, we kind of created a list of, you know, things that we, you know, kind of go through on the day to day and what triggers us and, uh, schedules.

That was one of the things that we were discussing and, you know, having too much free time on your hands is obviously a big thing. And if you don't have really something that is pressing, if you don't have work, if you're sitting around, you know, a lot of times, you know, that's a, that's a bigger trigger to drink.

So I'm glad you brought that up because having that and having things to do is, is necessary to instill in your day, , so that you can, you know, not be as triggered quite as. Well, and I brought this up in previous episodes. That's one of the reasons I go to meetings. Yeah. It helps fill that void of some time where you don't have anything to do.

That's why I go after work. Yeah. It, you know, it's a transition from being outta work for the day, you know? And like I chair at my home group, I chair our Saturday night meetings at 7:00 PM because that makes sure I have something to do at on Saturday evenings where, you know, typically in the past that was a big drinking night now.

No, I go and I chair. 12 step meeting and I have a lot of fun doing it. And then we have a, there's an eight 30 bonfire meeting where I go to. And so I usually stick around for that. And sometimes, uh, the first and third Saturdays of the month, we do a potluck too. So, you know, I just try to stay as involved, kind of as I can.

And this podcast obviously is helping the three of us.  because that's fill in time  as well. It is, you know, slightly time consuming to do this and it's something fun to do. And it gives us more accountability because the last thing we wanna do is be hypocrites. Yeah. Sit here and talk to you about, you know, our sobriety and then go back out there and start drinking.

So, yeah. And we have a freaking fun time. No, I know we've said this a lot, but we have so much fun. You, you guys should see us in between recording and whatnot. It's uh, It's a, it's a hoot, but, um, we do have a blooper track that will come out. I don't know. We'll probably do that. Maybe like episode 50 or something.

, that will be fun. Where, when I'm editing these down, I always take some of our, our side conversations or where, you know, Robbie screws up and we gotta start over. I screw when, when Robbie gets the giggles, mainly when I get nervous. Yeah. Or when pat, I know we intimidate you a lot. When pat, uh, puts his little polar pop down on the table, sometimes I can be a little, little noisy when these days I, we get diet Pepsi to sponsor us, or they should for the amount of fucking diet Pepsi I drink.

Uh, it's quite a lot. That's quite a lot, you know, I will say that though. It, it does help keep me sober. You know, I was a beer drinker and I drank, you know, anywhere from, and I've said this before 15 to 35 years a day. So having, like, I think there's something comforting into always having a drink by me.

I've just switched that to water and diet Pepsi. I do drink a lot of water too, but I'm constantly drinking liquids and I think that's just part of it. It soothes me a little bit and makes. You know, I don't know. I guess I just got used to pouring that much liquid into my body every single day that I can no longer have it be boo.

So I have it now be water and diet soda. And so if you're out there and you know, you have that same problem, find something you do enjoy drinking. That's not alcohol. God forbid there'd be a Pepsi shortage. Just like everything else. Cuz we might be in trouble. Don't joke around about that. It's the it's it's the, the oral fixation.

Oh, the bubbles, the carbonation. Yeah, it it's that too. And, um, I just like the taste of it as well. Yeah. You know, it's funny. Cause I didn't drink caffeine really at all. When I drank, , alcohol, I would drink water and beer. Or, um, alcoholic seltzers, and that was about it. And so once I quit drinking, the first time I had just started drinking water and I was like, well, this is gonna get real boring quickly.

So then I picked up a soda and here I am, but. It helps keep me sober. So I guess kind of whatever works for you and, you know, trying to find those little things like that, that throughout the day, if you are having a craving or something like that, you can go and have something to go to that it kind of fixes that or gives you a fix of some sort.

And for me, that is, uh, diet soda. I can't remember. Are you a coffee guy? No, I do not drink coffee. Oh, that was my substitute. I was drinking probably eight cups of coffee a day, which was not good, but I've, I've gotten that down to about two or three. So it's, it's a lot. Yeah, manageable. Uh, and I don't need that much anymore.

It was just a nice transition for me. A cup of coffee has about tripled the amount of caffeine that like a, a diet soda does. And for me, just like an eight ounce cup of coffee is just way too much caffeine and it gets me going, do you drink coffee, Robbie? I occasionally drink coffee. You know, I should do a detox of that, honestly, cuz it doesn't affect me anymore.

I, I used to get wired. When you consume so much, your tolerance gets up just like alcohol and then it doesn't even affect it. It becomes a necessity. So it's, it's, it's good to not, you know, substitute it to its fullest and, uh, completely depend on something else, such as coffee. Yeah. It, to be honest with you the last couple weeks, I haven't had hardly any cravings at all for alcohol and.

And even before then for the last, I don't know, a month or two, the ones I do have, they're not super stronger, anything just certain situations. You'll just be like, oh, it'd be really nice to drink right now, but it's getting easier and easier as kind of time goes on. And I think part of that though goes back to, I've been filling my time with one, this podcast with work, with playing a lot of golf.

, I'm gonna try to start working out. I really need to start doing that. And then come on. I know, join the club. Let's go, go into meetings and. You know, yeah. You guys go to the gym all the time. I need to start, we try and, you know, editing the podcast and trying to promote it and things like that. And so, you know, just by staying super busy, it it's very helpful and I'm not missing it at all.

And it truly is. I brought this up in our group last night and Robbie was there. Every night, like when I go to bed, it, it still kind of amazes me that I'm doing it sober and how just wonderful. It does feel to go to bed and you're like, ah, I'm sober again. And it's just nice. I don't know what amazes me is like little task and like errands and stuff used to be like the biggest chore ever.

And now I just do 'em and it's like, doesn't really, if anything, it gives me some energy. Like it's like motivating. It's like, all right, I got this done. I feel a little bit better about myself. And, you know, the, when I look at people that I know of with like long term sobriety, it seems like all of them have like their schedule.

Are pretty much full, I mean, in the sense that like, they do have some openings, but like they're always doing something or they have time when they do have free time. It's like used in a way of like either like used productively, it's used productively, like going in, getting into their hobbies or, , spending time with their family.

And, and that's pretty much what I see. Yeah. I'm, I'm a master procrastinator. I should probably write a book on it. Um, It's it is funny. You say that because there are so many things I've been pushing off that it's kind of ridiculous. I mean, I, you know, I'm in sales and, and what I do is, you know, it includes a lot of dinners, lunches, et cetera.

And, , I get reimbursed for it, but. The task of reimbursing is, is it seems so huge to me. And so I have stack of receipts on my desk, hundreds of dollars and that's money in my pocket. All I have to do is submit it and I just I've let it go for months. And that's something that is such a, it is so easy and it'll take me, you know, 20 minutes maybe just to get a few hundred dollars, but those are some things that you gotta kind of relearn.

And, , I mean, even today, I, I have a, I have an old Roth 401k that I was, you know, it's been dormant and the market's dropped and I'm like, I gotta invest this. You know, you gotta, you gotta get it in the market and start riding those upswings. And I kept putting it off cuz I didn't wanna start my brokerage account.

And uh, I made a call today and it was like three clicks and I, and I opened it up and it was that simple. And I was like, oh, I could have done this a year ago. Yeah. And a lot of things are that simple, especially when it comes to like running errands and things like that. I've noticed. And we brought the, we were talking about this last night in group, too, , about laundry and we all discussed how shitty we were at doing laundry.

Oh my God. We drink about how, you know, you would throw stuff in the washer and you'd have to rewash it four different times. Yeah. Because you would never throw it in the dryer. And then once you threw it in the dryer, you just lived out of your dryer. You don't put the stuff away. Still do. And I've gotten better at actually putting my clothes away and things like that.

But everybody last night was in agreement cuz we all did the same thing. And you know, when you are constantly revolving your life around a substance RS being alcohol, that's all you care about. You don't care about anything else and a mundane task such as taking out the trash or something seems impossible to.

and because your, your brain is just fucked. Yeah. And, and mm-hmm, , you know, we've kind of learned that too, about how it just completely dis diminishes your frontal lobe. And, you know, it takes time for that to regrow. And so it's like, you're kind of almost relearning doing things that adults should do on a normal basis, such as cleaning or doing chores or paying bills.

And, you know, you said something about like with your expense reports, all you need to do is just getting a routine of doing 'em, you know, once a month or once every other week, or find a time, be like, all right, the first Monday of each. This is when by dedicated time, I take 30 minutes to my expense reports and get it into your routine because once it gets into your routine, it'll be something that just comes naturally to do.

It'll be a habit. Yeah, no, back to the laundry thing. I think that that's its own animal. That's something that we all have to conquer. I, you know, if there is a hell, it's gonna be a laundry mat and it's gonna be on fire. And we're gonna just be sitting there doing laundry all day, every day. That's what I envision.

So that's something that I'm gonna have to just buck up and do, and the it's gonna be that length, that kinda lingers in the air. Oh yeah. And kind of gets in your eyes, gonna run outta quarters. Find it's so much, much nicer though. To have always just fold it and put it away. Cause it really only takes five minutes.

It just makes life so much easier. We were talking about that too last night about making your bed first thing in the morning, I've gotten in that habit and it takes 30 seconds. Yeah. And it's something that drastically changes your life. It will make your life better. So if you're listening out there and you're early in sobriety or something like start doing like some self-care, stuff like that, where, you know, make sure you fold and put away your laundry or hang it up.

Put it in the closet, make your bed at the each morning when you wake up, take that extra 30 seconds here and there to do those things and make it part of your routine.  of sobriety. Yeah. And, and tidiness is a huge thing. I'm gonna start dropping books. I'd, I'd love to read. And that's something that I've picked up a lot more, uh, since I quit drinking and I just finished the compound effect, phenomenal book, I highly recommend to anybody.

It, it talks about, you know, just the small things you do every single day. ,  it could complete large and unseemingly possible tasks, uh, just by doing small things. So it mentions keeping things tidy and how your environment that you live in, you spend most of your time in affects your mental clarity and affects your anxiety.

And it truly is a thing. Um, you know, I came home from a pretty tough day yesterday and my wife actually cleaned up our room, which was a total disaster. And that was huge for me. You know, just being able to lay down in a bed that's fresh, there's not clothes on the floor, you know, there's not a. Cat shit in our litter box, you know, stuff like that.

It seems small, but doing your dishes, keeping your house clean, that is going to, you're gonna be more productive. You're gonna have be less anxious and you're, it's not gonna be less of a trigger to be quite honest. And I, I, a lot of times I would drink because I was so inundated with work and with a dirty house and I fell overwhelmed.

And so I would drink, but coming home, it's a lot easier to say, Hey, I'm in this nice environment. And. I can just chill. I would drink to get chores done. Oh, at all the time it would motivate me and it would give me energy. Yeah. You know, I would believe it or not. I did that all the time. Well, I drink to do anything, but I would be like, all right, let's have some beers and do the dishes.

And I would drink a beer and then do like one thing, you know, some dishes or something, or, or choose like a small project. And then I'd be like, all.  did 15 minutes worth of work. I'm gonna have another beer and then I'll have that. And then I'd be sitting there and be like, all right, let's get up. You know what?

I'll have one more and then I'll get back up and then I would never get back up. I would just end up drinking 20 beers. Yeah. And then nothing got done, except for, I just got the place dirtier, cuz then I just toss my cans everywhere and you know, it just compounded the problem. Yeah. Nothing got me going like, uh, open up a fresh bottle of wine.

Playing some Frank Sinatra on the record player. And, uh, I'd just get cleaning. I'd feel super classy, maybe light some candles. I don't know. It depends on how crazy I'm feeling that day. Yeah. But you can do that without alcohol and it's, uh, it's actually pretty cool. Yeah. I mean, you can do anything without alcohol and honestly, the world is your oyster.

It is, you know, I've discovered some things I enjoy doing, , without, or maybe that I didn't enjoy before. Um, without, because I was always drinking and, and that's the thing kind of explore who you are and what you like to do and, and find those new hobbies. And, you know, you can kind of re getting sober your rediscovering, how to live life, especially with us, you know, I started drinking.

you know, really as in, as a teenager, but not heavily until I was about 20. And then from like 20 to, you know, 35, that's illegal, you know? Yeah. Well, I got a couple, uh, underage drinking tickets too back in the day, but Pat's a, that was it. He's a bad boy. Well, you gotta figure for never did that. 15 years of everyday drinking.

You don't even know how to live as an adult without alcohol. So, you know, it, it truly is kind of just relearning. 

 It is, it's very, , It's almost like you start to see the world through a different lens, to a certain extent. , you know, some I've heard, some people say, you know, like, oh, like now you actually hear the birds chirping, like that sort of thing. And, uh, I get that. I get that, cuz I start to appreciate, at least I have been starting to appreciate a lot of the smaller things, way more, , and the ability to do those things, you know,  shit just taking the dog around the apartment complex, you know, like for me,  it used to be like a daunting task and now I actually like sit there and enjoy it. , I mean, I like legitimately. I feel like a little kid to a certain extent again.

And, and for me that is like, the goal of sobriety is, is for me, is to be at that place of peace and interest in not like allowing all these preconceived notions that have created over the years, like overtake me. Yeah. And especially when you start seeing results, that's a huge indicator. One you're doing the right thing, but you also feel good and you, and you see that progress.

I remember, I mean, this is idiotic, but sometimes I would even drink before going to the gym. Talk about counterproductive. Mm-hmm  I mean, I used to work at a kickboxing gym and I'd, you know, have a, probably like a bottle of wine before, and I was gased and just, you know, it's a shocker that I never puked up wine, but.

I mean, it sounds so stupid. And then I would wonder why I wasn't getting the results that I was getting. Well, no shit, Carson, cuz you're putting this into your body. You're not your body's not working the way that it should be. You're you're offsetting the calories that you're burning, you know, with calories from alcohol and it was just stupid and, and it's stuff like that, that I used to do all the time.

And now that I'm doing it sober, I'm seeing incredibly higher results and, and better results. And, and the progress that I've seen even over the past three months is night and. When it comes to work productivity, when it comes to physically, uh, you know, getting fitter, uh, when it comes to reading, you know, drinking while reading.

I wasn't retaining anything and going back and, and I'm, I'm rereading books that I quote unquote read and I'm like, oh, I don't remember that. Well, duh, I didn't remember it, but now I'm getting all of this and I'm seeing things in a lot different light and it's, it's phenomenal. Yeah. You're a attention span.

Definitely. , gets a boost from sobriety. And, you know, I remember like talking to people, one of the things I used to do is I would tell the exact same story over and over again, because I never remembered saying it the first time. And you know, or when you're sitting there, you're like, fuck, did I already tell this person this.

And not remembering what the hell you're even talking about half the time, because you're, you don't ever remember anything. You know, you just live life in a blur, basically, you know, work and drink, work and drink. That's all I did work and drink. And I mean, of course I do other things or say I was doing other things, but I was drinking and just kind of going through the motions of other stuff, even hanging out with friends and things like that, that drinking always took a, a priority to any of that canceling plans, things like that.

.  just to drink more and it's nice to feel, you know, hold yourself accountable when you do make plans and things like that, though. Where's, you know,  where people can, you know, count on you to show up when you're supposed to. When you know, they can give, you know, talk to you if they have any issues and you can give them advice.

And I've really. One thing that really changed for me lately too, is I just, I don't, I was never a, I, I was never a huge really judgemental person, but I would still judge others as, as people do when than creep in your mind. And I became a lot more open, um, because I know everybody goes through hardships.

And when I hear, you know, I used to think about, you hear a lot of things. People will say, well, just, you know, strap up the bootstraps and, and get it going. Like any problems in life it's that person's fault. And it's, that's not always the case. And I've become a lot more sympathetic to, to others going through this journey.

, that I've been through because you don't know what somebody else is ever going through. And I had, I was, you know, alcohol had controlled me so damn much and ruined basically was in the process of ruining my life to where if I didn't get off of it and, and make a change, my life would probably be over.

And it is hard to do. I mean, it is hard work. And so just to sit there and be like, oh, I don't know why they don't quit drinking or quit doing drugs. It's it's a tough thing to do. You gotta have the support, you gotta be in the right mindset. It's you have to be willing to do it for yourself. And for some people it's tough to get to that point.

Absolutely. I think most humans, if not all, we are inherent in our nature to be not only selfish people, but we do feel some sort of superior. Over others, whether we want to admit it or not. And that can really mean a lot of different things, but we, we do tend to see ourselves as better than others and, and look down on people that we don't even know.

We don't know what they're going through. We have no. Clue whatsoever. And, and drinking takes that, like you mentioned earlier, it takes that empathy away and it doesn't allow us to really feel and, and to care and to show other love to other people and to really empathize and, and again, you know, stopping that and cutting that out has really opened my eyes and.

It's the person that I've always been, but that person was not there while I was drinking and I was a Dick. And that's why so many issues had arise between my wife and I and my family, my friends. I mean, it was just chaos. And, uh, and so it's, you know, I just highly recommend, you know, if you are listening to this and.

Or thinking about cutting out drinking, just, you know, whether it doesn't matter what it is, it could be a pros and cons list, but really figure out what the pros are and then look at what it's affecting and, and in order to make a decision for yourself. Yeah. One thing I did wanna say, and this is kind of just more on a macro level and this isn't being political whatsoever and, and we're never gonna talk politics is I just don't really care about 'em however, One thing.

I just want to mention that kind of where, like I'm getting more sympathetic. I used to always think, like you think of, uh, legal immigrants and coming across in this country, , illegally. And I used to be so against that, and now I look at it and be like, well, I don't know what those people are going through.

It's a tough life. Like, I, I can't judge them for doing what they're doing anymore. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's something as simple as that, like, I, I, I don't know what they're going through. I have, I'm not there. I don't walk in their shoes. So how is it for me to judge what they're going through and what they're escaping and things like that.

So you, you know what I mean? Like I'm just kinda looking at things completely in a, on a different level now. And.  I think it's just because of what I've been through and, and, and seen other people and what other people have been through. And we, whether it's in a 12 step meeting or in our rehab programs that we've been in, we have met people.

And I know people that I do consider friends now from all walks of life, from all backgrounds, you know, , all ethnicities. , and you know, you, you really become more open as a person, to those people around you and you know, all of society because substance abuse doesn't come in one color or one shape or one size or one background.

It literally can affect anybody. And I'm here to tell you it does affect anybody because of all the people I've met. I've met people that are very, very successful, rich, and cause brought them down. I've know people that are homeless and have brought themselves out of being homeless.  by being sober, you know, you just, you meet, you get just everything with it and it it's cool to see, and it really does open your views on the world a little bit more.

We've heard a lot of wild stories, uh, being around the folks that we have, and it's, it's very eye opening and it's, and it's touching honestly, and I'm, I'm very proud of. A handful of people for what they've come through for what they've been dealt. Um, cause we're all dealt different cards and it's, it's amazing to see a group of people all getting together, supporting each other and defeating the.

In this case, the same animal, the same enemy, and that is addiction. Well, and, and I've said this before, if, if you're thinking about getting sober or you are sober or you're newly sober and you're not going to meetings or anything or discussing it because you feel ashamed or something about anything you done, I assure you, you're not gonna shock anybody because.

I, I mean, I could write a book on things that I've heard, um, that people have been through and obviously I'm not going to, but, and I'm not gonna share specific stories of people, however, they I've heard it all. And you know, I haven't even been sober that long. I've I've heard it all. I mean, And I'm not even shocked when I hear it anymore.

, you know, I just, I'm glad that person has taken that step forward to better their lives and better themselves by getting sober and, and working on it. It's just, you know, you just gotta be prepared for the hard work, but it's rewarding work. You know, you can see it in your day to day lives. That life is better when you remove that substance that just is kicking your ass every single day and that you have to depend on to live.

Recovery has been a very humbling experience for me. , you know, and what I find is that in the past, like that, that humiliation, it can either come in the form of like positive, , you know, a PO it can act a positive effect. Or, um, if I'm in some sort of denial, what happens is I get back into self pity and, uh, Over time.

I start to feel entitled to a drink again. Um, I mean, just for me, like all the stuff that I did, like the situations I put myself in, , and things that I've said in my addiction, you know, when you, when I came to, you know, it was just horrifying, you know, embarrassing, uh, In very, you know, I, I carried on so much shame.

I mean, how many times have you gotten your ass kicked when you were drunk? , then I remember, ,  that? I remember two, we'll call it four. I, I won one. , and then I headbutted someone, knocked myself out, so that. You beat my ass. You beat yourself on that one. I didn't get my ass kicked. I kicked my ass ass kicked.

I knew there was a story there and I couldn't remember exactly what it was. That's why I had to ask it was the head buddys thing. I was there. That's impressive. Honestly, you won and lost the fight. There were times where I woke up with like bruised face or like cuts on my face and, , you know, I don't know when, if there was a fight, if I fell.

you know, probably both . Yeah, very possibly both. Uh, but yeah, given the way that I drank, like I was in no shape to, to fight. I used to hate waking up in the morning and looking at. My cell phone and looking at the text I'd sent the night before, when I was drunk. I mean, it's just embarrassing when you're here.

It's like, oh God. Oh God, what was I thinking? And had some terrible ones. Why am I, why am I like this? Yeah. Why are you the way that you are? Well, And the further along you are in your substance abuse and your addiction, the, the more it deteriorates your brain. And when you're, you know, fucked up, basically you have no ability to make rational decisions whatsoever and level.

And it's just, it's Embarras. It's an embarrassing way to live life. You look at some of your actions and you just shake your head a little bit. And you're just like the hell's wrong with me. And luckily though I can look back on that stuff now and laugh because I'm a better person and I'm not doing those things any longer.

 I see a lot of like, you know, just looking back these things mean like, all right, like that's part of the human humbling experience. Like, and that's why.  I judge people less because one, that could be an addict, you know? But there's like the positive aspect of being an addict. That way I can say like, yeah, this is like my problem.

Now I just have to work on Merck on myself. There are also people that don't have an addiction. , they don't really have that like obvious problem of drinking, you know, that causes someone causes 'em to act certain ways, you know? So it leads me to a place of like having empathy for, for really anyone.

Well, yeah. And that's like, you know, we've talked about the 12 steps before, and I think everybody. Be taught the 12 steps at some point in life. Cause at least it would teach you whether you, if you're not an act, they will at least teach you not to be an asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Rational thinking is, is not in our vocabulary when we're drinking.

I mean, I can think of thousands of times that I've made dumb decisions, but you know, one of the worst I think I've ever made is I was at a concert with some friends and I got lost, , you know, because of alcohol and my phone died and, um, So I fell asleep in the bushes and I woke up and everyone was gone.

So I started walking home and that would've taken me about three days. And this woman, uh, she pulled aside and asked if I needed a ride. I'm like, yeah. You know, I probably wouldn't have said that.  if I was sober, but long story short, I didn't have cash on me. Um, cause I, you know, she asked for payment and I was like, this is weird, but I'm drunk.

And you know, she's taking me home. So whatever. So you wanna know how I compensated her that, uh, that sounds really weird. Do you know what wanna know what I bought her?  what I bought her a vacuum cleaner. We went into Walmart and I bought her a $50 vacuum cleaner. And that's all I got home that night.

That is about as dumb as it gets right there. And you can think Mr. Jack Daniels for  that's I remember that's slightly awesome.  is a story. It's it's not my best moment, but it's not my worst. I remember we were in Atlanta one time. This was, this was probably 10 years ago. Well, Nine 10 years ago for sweet water, which is a brewery out Atlanta for four 20 Fest.

The flag champ beer is four 20. Oh. And it was the night before the festival. And we were down there for work. Cause it was back when I worked for a beer distributor and you know, we were, we went to some tequila bar and we were just drinking tequila and drinking tequila and drinking tequila. And, , me and my ex-wife were together at the time.

And. I remember going back to the hotel room and I remember laying down and just thinking I am hammer. The next thing I know, it's like, I just blinked my eyes. I am standing outside the hotel room door in my underwear, just banging on it.  no idea what happened. So I go down the front desk and I'm like, yeah, I got locked down in my room again.

I am just in my underwear and they're like, yes, sir. Do you have your ID? And I was like, no. So of course they're or do you want me to pull it out of my, yeah, my boss. They're not gonna just give me a key. And so I went up and just pounded on the door eventually. I guess I got noise complaints for knocking on the door so loudly and they came and opened the door and it was a whole fiasco.

So, uh, yeah, things like that. I, I'm not proud of, you know, I'm glad I did. 'em I'm glad I experienced 'em but I'm glad I'm where I am now. Cause you learn from 'em a hundred percent. They gotta see a side of pat that not many people have seen. Yeah, absolutely. And. Now I feel a stronger person for going through.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is, you know, it sit there and you look at, you know, all the faults I feel like of being an addict. However, when you get sober, you become a better person than you ever were. Before the addiction, because you learn so much about yourself when getting sober. And like I said, it almost feels like it's a new start on life that you have a new lease on life because you live so long one way and  became a nonfunctional human and it doesn't take very long.

Once you get sober, you know, you get 20, 30, 40 days in. And you already are seeing improvements. You know, I'm at 117 days, I see a vast improvement in my life and I look forward to what's to come, you know, to actually have goals that I think are actually obtainable now to where they, when I was in active addiction.

They were 100% not at all. And, you know, just to see a better life out there for me and for everybody around me. And I enjoy, that's why I enjoy doing this podcast because I want people to realize that a better life is out there. That's why I enjoy going to meetings and listening to others and, and telling my story and my experiences in hopes that it helps somebody else.

Because even if we just help one person, fantastic is worth it. That's how valuable I think, uh, life's a sobriety is to an addict. Small disclaimer, here we are in no way, shape or form advocating for you to go through a period of time in addiction in order to see the other side or have a new, fresh start.

We got that covered. We did that for you. So, uh, just make sure you listen to this podcast and we will certainly share those experiences and what we've learned from that. Uh, and we will, we will share that with you. Yeah. But even if you are not an. Go look at the 12 steps apply 'em to your life, that you, you will become a better person.

100% without question. Yeah. It's morality based and there is some, you know, there's plenty of religious context. And if you don't agree with that, that is completely fine. Uh, but it, the, the, the principles that are ingrained in that text, uh, can apply to really anything. It is, does have a focus on addiction, but it can apply really to anything in life.

And so it's, it's, it's a great, it's a great read and there's a lot of knowledge to be found in.

all right. Well with that, Robbie, anything else from you? I know this episode was just kind of random. Um, we'll have some topics coming up. We'll have interviews starting next week or the week after. It'll be soon. We have some good ones lined. And we're very excited about. Yeah. Uh, again, always feel free to email us.

If you have questions, I'm more than happy to answer questions at the end of each show, , you know, find us on social media, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. We don't really do much with our Facebook account. , but we're fairly active on Twitter and Instagram. , our email is 12 ounces, sobriety, pod, Gmail dot.

We are at 12 ounces of sobriety, both on Twitter and Instagram, find us on there at us. , won't possibly be posting stuff, posting updates, and, and since I am over, COVID, hopefully we'll get back to releasing one to two episodes a week, just kind of depending on how things go. And, , with that everybody have a wonderful day wonderful week.

If you're sober now. Keep staying sober. , you know, give us a review as well on whatever platform you're listening to. And in the review, just put how many days sober you are. Love to see it. Thanks again, Bon for ho go Panthers.