Courage Under the Stars with Michael Vieyra

“Bottom is where you turn up” with Cara Pifko

October 05, 2022 Michael Vieyra Season 1 Episode 7
Courage Under the Stars with Michael Vieyra
“Bottom is where you turn up” with Cara Pifko
Show Notes Transcript

Mom of two. Actor, creator, and many other hats. She is a warm hearted soul who finds the joy in the now. She has always been very close to my heart. Sit with us as we discuss:
Scuba diving
“Restart Your Art”
Trying to find your balance
Flintstone vitamins 
Fighting the brothers for food
‘Squish squish’
Deciding to have children
Being happy with what you have and who you are
Human connection
Creating classes off of ideas
Being open to receive
Being in dialogue with a higher power

So put on your chill and come listen in. 

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Welcome to courage under the stars with Michael Vieyra. That's me, I am Michael Vieyra. Here I speak off the cuff with people that I find interesting, where you're going to sit in a darkened room and just allowing you to eavesdrop.I tell my guests, no politics,no religion, but otherwise, I don't care what we talk about as long as it comes from the heart.I hope even just a small part of it resonates with you. Some of it will, some of it won't. And that's okay. But I'm just glad you're here. I really do love all of you. And thanks for coming. Let's get this thing started. Oh.This is me yapping into that Welcome to the beach.And then when I Appiah, people have to kind of consider who has the better voice because they both have pretty decent voices.Well, doesn't that make it kind of like a voice off? And we could like, take votes at the end and see who wins. I'm not quite sure what the prize is.Well, I know what the prize is.That's for sure. But I think people are going to handily vote for myself. You disagree? I do.Can you control the situation?No. Can we can we move on? Yes.Check check. Check check. I sound cool. I sound cool.I sound cooler. I sound cooler.On what about music you is that?How important is music in your life?You know what's weird is when I was growing up, pretty much the only music I listened to was Billy Joel.I'm already done talking to horrible and cut. Well, I don't know.Okay, BareNaked. Ladies, there was a Barenaked Ladies should I can I stay now? Are you okay?Sure. Okay, probationary. I'll continue that. Okay. So my brother took me out to learn how to drive when I was 15. And we listened to that Billy Joel.What's it called? Heart attack?EQ EQ. Yeah.No, no. Yeah, I just did.Jimmy was done with both boats.But yeah, you're right. You mean give you a heart attack. I can do what I know by now.And like, my brother would pump the brakes on heart attack. This is somehow the beginning of a driving lesson. Oh, my God. I don't know. There was something I don't know. It was because secular Jewish. I don't know.But like, music wasn't really a part of my life. Yeah. Except like playing saxophone in the band and that you played the saxophone, alto saxophone. Get out of here and flute. I might.Should I leave?Does that mean you can still play today?I have a flute. And the saxophone is like basically the same thing. Just the B and the C is different fingering but yeah,I could probably get by on a saxophone. But it's been a while. Flute I could I could pull out right now and just jam.I've always wanted to do the saxophone. Really? Yeah. What did you play? I played the drums.That's nothing like a saxophone?No, that's why I say I've always wanted to play the saxophone.Did you play No, just just seriously? Just drums?Yeah, yeah, I tried to guitar didn't take well,and you've got some learning curve. But But you did play and let me let me switch the music store. story then what is was playing music ever important to you in the sense of who you were?Yeah. There was. There was a Christmas concert. And I had like a, I had a solo. And something came over me when the solo started. And I stood up in front of like, the whole, like,it's the theater, right? Like the theater is church. Yeah. And so like, standing up and having those whatever it was 16 bars of fleet no saxophone, excuse me.By that point. It was saxophone.I don't know. There's just bats that like, you know, when you're in that performance zone and like it's like scuba diving.It's it's it's like flying. It's like dreaming. There's some sort of other switch that comes over you It's like a It's being transported to another realm.And that in that that that performance did its performance.It's not like the music in particular.So you were the playing music is important to your soul.Yeah. And now I'm able to, like,take music into my being and absorb it the same way as a good friendship or conversation or good food sits. It's all just sort of the same thing with a different texture,if you will. How often do you pick it up now? The two of us apps?Sacks? I don't have the flute Oh, pick up like, I don't know,once a month.That is awesome. And you sit and play for a while? Yeah, you're okay. I just expressed through it. No,that's not true. Usually warm up with Scarborough Fair.Right after Billy Joel, you listen to some Billy Joel and and you play Scarborough.And then and then for some reason, it's a Jewish thing again, whatever I sing whenever I play always comes out sounding somehow Jewish.Don't know why are you Jewish?We are raised so secular. Yeah. Okay. I don't identify that way necessarily.But it's definitely a piece of who I am. Yeah, history. Yeah.Like there's traditions that you grow up in. Did you what kind of traditions Did you grew up in?You know what we were solid Catholics. And it served its purpose. But at the at the point I became an adult, I was like,Okay, I'm moving on. But the one thing I will tell you that is neat is finding out things like this about somebody you had no idea. Really, you didn't know that. Not at all. And you were in band. You were saying not in a band, but in band high school band. Yeah. Because that does make you a dork. But it's still cool that you know, you were doing that. You said something that made me kind of excited,because you said something about scuba diving. And I've been scuba diving a few times and in the Caribbean. And I'm not a scuba diver as a matter of fact,I I lied to the to the guy on the dock renting every certified. Yeah. Because, you know, I told him because the like in St. Thomas, the island before we had taken a class. So we scuba dived, like the resort dive class. That was me. Yeah. But I mean, still, we were in the ocean, and it was big time. But could I did I know what I was doing by myself?Nope. And I told him I did and he gave me gave me the stuff.And when I was by the dock, I noticed the sign that said we were like 75 feet down. And I was like, holy shit. I'm scared.shitless like, all of the things to lie.About. Like that is your life.I was a kid. I didn't know. At that time. I don't know. 14.Jesus. Yeah, I don't think you're even supposed to be diving at that age.Oh, really? No, no, you can dive at any age. No, actually,I'm looking into this right now.Because there's the age limit of12. My son is about to turn 12Yeah. And we've been waiting for years because he wants to dice Good for him. Yeah. And I got certified in high school. We did like a biology. Third grade.Okay, so growing up in Canada,there's like a grade 13 I know we're aliens, but that's okay.And we went on this like trip to Jamaica, for a biology study trip, marine biology. And it was super cool. But you had to get the certification first. And Toronto has like, no open water like there's a lake. So it was they called it wreck diving,which was the best way to put it pretty much. Great. Throw some stuff out into the pool there. It's a wreck dive go get the toy.wasn't quite that bad. But the Ville visibility was terrible.And it was freezing cold. But eventually we got to Jamaica and got to like collect specimens from the ocean and bring them back and study them. So your son has dived? No, no, that was from when I was in great news. Sorry.Yeah. And no, he's he's going to train this summer, though. I am really excited for him. It's awesome.Yeah, it's brilliant. It's a great thing to do. Everybody should do it at least once.Oh, my God. Do you know the movie? The Abyss? Yeah. That's like that's, that's the movie that will make anybody wants to dive except that other bits.It's a one way ticket. And hopefully,yeah, I'm not sure why that's the one you want them to watch.Good Lord. That woman came up.Did you guys make any way?Have you really never dove since you were 14?I have it as an adult. I have not. I've done it three times.And I think they were all within the same year. Wow. But they were it was brilliant. I don't care that I was a kid. It was awesome. And tell you the truth.Even though I shouldn't have been diving when I lied. It was brilliant. It was I wouldn't take it back for anything. If I was down there by myself. Which you're not supposed to. We went together they were getting they said oh well you and your brother go together then Okay,great. But next thing I knew it was like Joey was off somewhere else. And so it was scary as it should have been but all I have No regrets doing it, of course,because I live. That's why I have no regrets. But it was awesome. Say your motto. I live,because I have no regrets because I lived.Sounds official motto in there somewhere.Sounds like you have a model of shiny on the inside.That was forced.That was an inside joke. Well,good for you. I'm glad that this has all happened and for your kid, and I'm glad you're making it happen for him. Yeah, one of the things for me, Kara is with my mom, she made so many things happen, that there's no way I can look back and say I'm not a product of who she helped round me out to be. And so I'm glad to hear that you're doing things that that you want him to do,but that he wants to do?Yeah, I guess I sort of feel like that's part of my job as a parent is to pay attention to what they're interested in and open the doors to let them continue doing those things.Yeah. It's a fine line there between becoming like a helicopter parent and opening doors for them.It's tough as you know, I am not a parent, but man, I got to assume it's hard to want to protect them from every every little thing.parenthood is a bramble bush.I don't know what that is,like, a mixed like a ball of winding sticks that binds into itself. Like a like a like a like a tumbleweed. Okay. It's like it. There is no straight line. There is no path through there is no tunnel of light.It's just a day by day figuring out and hoping to God doing something, some combination of the right things. But anyway,the started with a compliment.So could have just gone with that.Well, no, but you know what your point is there? Because it's like, when I think of it, it's like, you know what, just 10seconds ago, you were a kid yourself? Yeah. And now you get you're supposed to figure out oh, here's how you're supposed to do this thing. Yep. I don't know, man. I mean, it's a great thing, parenting and it's hard and all those things.Well, there's this whole like transition that occurs. Sure,I'm not alone in it. But like,when, okay, so, boom, you're pregnant, you know, your babies come in a baby's going. And you've got all these ideas of like, what kind of parent you're going to be, and then baby comes, and then everything shifts. And then you sort of realize, no structure is actually important. I might not be able to pull off being the hippie mom that I was hoping to be because Oh, wow, that structure is important. And then you go, you take your kid to school for the first time, or preschool or whatever. And just like the separation anxiety,it's massive. And then they start growing up, and you can see their own personality and just that balancing act. My daughter the other day said something about like, I'm glad we have a fun family. Okay, I'm like a fun family. So yeah,we're not You're not a strict family. We're a fun family.Like, yes.That's awesome. She's four or five?No, she's eight. Wow. Yeah.How old is the older kid?11. Just about that's I don't know what happened. I know. I'm sorry. Wow. It's like you've never called me in eight years? Well,that's not entirely true.Well, congratulations on that.That's not that's not an easy task, I would assume. No.But you know, when I'm sort of helping people through different parts of their lives, coming into parenthood, it's like,whatever your top priorities aren't, I think this would probably translate to other life transitions. But I'll just stick to the thought that when you're moving into parenthood, it's like, whatever your top priorities are in life, those will stick around. But whatever was priority number five or six,there ain't gonna be room for that.Yeah, I can see your priorities slipping through considerably.Some, by us still play the flute. And I'm always writing and I'm always dancing, and I still have an acting career. And I'm a creative soul. So you're busy. Oh, yes. And you've mentioned earlier, I don't know this is what you were referring to. But you have what I don't even a mindfulness workshop.What would you call it? You do?I put it under the umbrella of creativity coaching. Okay, okay.But it's life coaching and acting coaching and voiceover coaching. And then there's my favorite clients are the ones that are looking for that combination of their spiritual life and their creative life.Yeah, I can see that. Yeah, I took your course and that is a good point to have. It's, they do coincide.Yeah. It's that that chord I'm so thank you for coming to that that means the world to me.Yeah, it was nice. It was really cool.That was special. I consider that like my signature program.But because that like, right like it went through all of the chakras and power centers or whatever you want to call it to empower who you are as a creative being, and it was fun,it was fun watching you grow inside of it, like find your,your writing voice again, that was really amazing. It was neat, because that was at a time when I was pretty down and out.And so to be able to find that sort of fulfillment, it was genuinely helpful to be a jumping off point to becoming better.Yeah, that was a nice group. I appreciate that.Well, you know, staying on that kind of point. How are you in general? Oh, geez, I when I see you, man, you always have a brilliant smile. And your eyes are always they look happy? Is that where you are? Are you legitimately happy all the time?Always happy all the time,of course. But I think you see my point, are you most of the time you feel good?We are a mosaic of polar opposites. Are we not?I think so. I think so too.So I think in my real life and in my creative life, I embrace the pendulum swings, shifts.Yeah, I'm I'm a big feeler. So I feel everything big. Yeah. So I swing swing back. And I had a case, for a long time, I've expressed myself in like, Song hooks. And when I was feeling like I was being too pendulum swinging? I don't know. Okay,can I sing a little song hook,of course, coming to balance is inviting the arms of the pendulum swaying in. So coming to balance is inviting the arms of the pendulum swing in, just like making less out of the swings. And to me, that's what a mindfulness practice is, is finding that central point, and being able to come to that regularly, but I don't believe in balance anymore. So I changed it to coming to harmony, but it doesn't fit the shape of the song very well anymore.So I stuck with ballads, because lyrically, it makes sense. Yeah.But you know what I mean? Like,balance isn't really attainable,because we're always shifting.But you've got a mindfulness practice, how would you describe it? I'm just, I'm just struggling.I think it takes took me a long time. I don't know how long it would take a lot of people but I had a lot of anger and negativity in my life, prior to self care. So at the point of doing it, it's taken me many years to kind of get to the point of okay, let's, let's fix it by this doing this, or let's just put ourselves in this mood.But as I tell my therapist, it's a it's a it's a chore.chore. Yeah. Which part?Maintaining can't think of the word but being in a being in a good mood, and being in a bad mood, take work either way. And so I think it's easier. Some people will say the work as even either way, I think being in a bad mood is easier in this world we live in, I think it's much harder to be in a good mood,because of all the obstacles this world has presented us. And so and that's for me,personally, as I always like to say, I'm just a schmo. I don't,don't listen to me, I'm just telling you how I feel. And but for me, it's definitely a chore.It's hard. Now, I don't mind that chore. And maybe some people don't want to use chores and negative word, but it just,I gotta put in the work, man.And I am. I'm thankful that I do because I am in a good place,but it's work. As it is your names mean that it's comes easier to you.I think the homes are pondering what you've just shared and that relationship to being in a good mood as we're I went through a period of what you would certainly call depression and So I was listening to you talk about it, I was thinking about how, how those steps really occurred to move to something beyond it. And I don't know, one of the things that I did was I started doing conversations interviews rather on, like Instagram, okay, different people who are artists that I respect. And basically, the fundamental question underneath all of those interviews was, is art valuable. And it helps to interview other people about it.Because, you know, you can get over yourself and move to a place of at least, you know,well, isn't in service of somebody else, and listening to other people talk about their work and how they do it, and why and all of those things really helped make the shift. And I think that was part of the root of the depression was that because I am a creative being like that's is fundamental to who I am. So if I was out of touch with that as being of value or important or and I'll just stick with a value then what else is there I mean,there's been but then there's just there's being an experience. And then I found A Course in Miracles and conversations with God and Eckhart Tolle and before that,the artists way and the Four Agreements and these guidebooks to help along the way and I guess I found that they helped offer quicker ways in shorter paths around the chaos of the mind into we're here to have an experience we're here in this like, meat sack of a human body.We're talking about me you and not all of us, but you know, we're, we're that's that's sort of my spiritual point of view, if you will, is is that we're, we're souls having a human experience.Do you get stuck in depression?Are you there for days? Or are you Is it easy for you to come out?Not now, because I just don't sink as low as there was, you know, some chemical aspects of it. I found a supplement. And I take them twice a day. Oh, get out of here. Oh, for sure. I'll send you a picture of them. It's awesome. There's like it's naturally said or just like, I mean, I do order it online, but it's basically over the counter stuff. It's not right. Those kinds of, you know, whatever pharmaceuticals or whatever, but that it helps like they're they're aspects of it that are chemical and not Flintstone vitamins are there.You still love those?I was candy for this fat boy.Which color was your favorite?What? Two Three say Orange.Orange is always the favorite.And tick Tex. Orange, orange tick checks. Yeah, don't give me a green tic tac. No, no, no,thank you,orange Flintstones. Oh my God.Now I want one. Orange stone.We were me and my brother have always been big boys. And there was a time when we got scolded,yelled at by my mom to stop eating the damn, please don't vitamins. Well, you should to complain when? One a day. Okay.We used to have fights in the house over Nutella.Yeah, no, may I just interrupt you? I was not aware of Nutella until I don't know. 10 years ago.Really? Oh, no. That was a thing. That was that. That that's that's a tub worth fighting. Oh my god. food in my house was ridiculous thing.Okay, so I've got two older brothers. One is six years older than me. One is nine years older than me. I'm the baby Shaka. Are you shocked?No. Why do you say that?I think it's probably obvious that okay, maybe but anyway,whatever. And so when the teller was in the house, I would like have to grab it and run like straight out of the sure bag.And then grab a spoon or just my finger and run and whatever I could manage to get while running into my mouth was all I would get because they're chasing you. That's right. Yeah,same with pizza. Okay, this is perhaps inappropriate or gross,but I'll share it anyway, that I did learn how to roll an entire piece of pizza up and eat it in one bite. Because otherwise I wouldn't get it because they would come after my food. What the heck that happened many times. I'm what I need to see films of your family. What went so horribly wrong?Like this little girl?The fact that you knew you had to do it that way quickly or wasn't going to happen?Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Quickly.Holy cow.I don't that all the time. Oh,yeah. Don't get me started about brother torture story. How What's your family dynamic now?My eldest brother lives in San Francisco. And he's got two kids and a wife. And then I've got Yeah, but what's your dynamic? How do you get along with these people? These people?Yeah, well, you know, we've grown up and there was a lot of bonding that's happened over the last, I don't know, three, four years because my dad's gotten older as parents do. And a lot of just physical ailments and close to death last December.Anyway, want to hear spiritual story? I'll tell you that one,maybe. But that whole taking care of our dad has brought you closer. Yeah. Yeah, in a big way. It's kind of credible.We've like become this like, I don't know. Powerful. Almost businessy dynamic. Yeah. In a way, like there's just, you know, like, but then we try to keep it fun with like, instead of Do you agree to that? Yeah, I agree to that. Yeah. Now we've got squish, squish. So if we all agree on something, because in text threads or whatever, or even in like, Zoom meetings, or whatever will be like squish,squish. Yeah. Okay. Everybody agrees.Squish. Squish. Is something inside joke with you guys. Yeah,it gets it doesn't make sense.No, but I like it. There's a thing to be said. When you look we all agree. Squish, squish.Right? Exactly. I'm in on this point. So at some point, I'm going to tell you squish,squish. And it'll mean exactly that it won't have an ulterior meaning. But you know, when it's weird when things when tragedy happens, that's when you find out the character of people. And it's one of the things I've always missed. And you'll know you'll recognize it as soon as I say it, but who we were as a country right after 911Regardless of your politics,it's like we were all as one we all loved each other. It was the world was great for the country was great for six months, and then it was like, Okay, let's go back to hating each other. I don't know. Anyway, I don't want to go too far off on that but but I do I did love that moment.Yeah, yeah.Cara,Michael cara cara, Cara? And the mocha.Cara, when it's weird when I was talking to you earlier about scuba diving and all that. You know, what's weird to me is the as kids and even young adults, we can't wait to go lay out the ocean swim in the ocean. And then I feel personally like a lot of us we just don't end up swimming in the ocean anymore. When's the last time you swam in the ocean?Thinking long time, right. Well,no, probably not. Because I take my kids. Oh, yeah. That's a good point. So I can't remember exactly. But it wasn't that long ago. Well, and that's a good point, too,because you got kids so you don't necessarily have the freedom to just if you want to go to the ocean to go unless you're taking your kids and it's become a day.Well, right. But on the other hand, because I'm the bear and I get to choose which activities we do so sometimes I What's the word like relent or plan things around things? They like that just they like that? I don't you know, yeah, certain games or places or what have you that aren't my thing like Dave and Busters or something like do you know that place? Yeah, yeah,there's one right here. Okay, so I would be happy to never go to a David Buss. I like pinball don't get me wrong. Okay.Totally pin but you can add it to my dork list. Okay. You feel it's a big list it is and but sometimes I get to, you know,pick the fun thing to do. So if I need some beach time, we go to a beach day and then I get to frolic in the waves with my job.Nice. So when was the last time you went? You swim in the ocean?Why is that so hard to answer?Not specifically,but within the last three years?Oh, yes.Many times within the last Goddess. I mean, I even went scuba diving like two years ago,just before December before the pandemic. Did I tell you that I went scuba diving? Yeah. When you were 14. Paying attention. I was just getting flan.Yeah, the beach is important. I love it. I'm just really surprised that I haven't been in so long.Well, can you fix?I can, but I'm not driving.These days and I could find a way out there. And, and I'm going to because I know it's been on my mind lately, but I just wish sometimes you just wish things were a little easier just with the nature of what's going on in my life. That's all.How do you get access to? I don't know, nature it's hard you know, I essentially take the metro places or, or access as a hub of an offshoot of the metro. It helps take you places, but it's tough.Even just like go hug a tree.Wow.I don't know what's worse, the thing that laughing the hardest it's weird, you know, because I am not a camper. But I do. I do love nature. And I do love the ocean. If somebody said, Where would you Why don't you know that people will say you live in the ocean or the mountains. I read live at the ocean. I lived in Redondo Beach for a long time, many years ago. And it was I don't know, one block away from the ocean. Oh my god, I would go out there. And I don't know if you've been but the there's the ocean. And then it's like a wall that raises up.Okay. And so if you're up on the street, you're looking down at the ocean. It's not a cliff, but it's just an embankment, if you will, but but large. And so there's always be benches out there on the sidewalk. And you can just go and watch the waves.I can hear the waves in my home with the windows open that night. And I'll be able to tell you there was no better thing than that. That was brilliant.I once filmed a TV movie or mini series in South Africa and outside my window. I could hear horses just like you just live in. Yeah, winning and puffing or whatever the what's it called nailing No.Oh, that. I think that's called motive. Here's something though that you won't. He won't understand. I can't imagine. I live in the city as you well know. Yeah, I love it. I sleep with my windows open. And it's safe. I'm on the third floor and nobody can get to me. But I know you didn't ask but I thought well, maybe she cares.I care. I just don't know where you're going with it. So I don't know.Well, here's where I'm going.Which is you know, we talked about hearing the waves and hearing the horses do the rope and who Bobo? I love hearing the people outside screaming at three o'clock in the morning.And the sirens and they helicopters and you know the couple next door Megan sweet love are yelling at each other.Not all the time. I don't want to hear her yelling at each other all the time. But every once in a while. It's like oh,how interesting. It's I don't know why I've always been that city guy. And I don't know where that came from. I didn't grow up in the city. I was just gonna ask. Yeah, where were you born? Where did you what kind of I grew up in LA County but not LA. And then I spent most of my life most of my upbringing was in the suburbs out in West Covina.West Covina.There's not a song. It's a whole series.Anyway, sorry. Go on. So anyway,you were born in West Covina or grew up there.Yeah. But that's neither here nor there. The point is, is that somehow or another I've you know, I've moved all over this county of ours, LA. And somehow I've just kind of grown to really enjoy the sounds of a city. If there's life to it. My brother says, like, How can you live out here? And I'm like, you know, I can totally understand where you say that. Especially because he's from Orange County.And it just, it's the life. It's alive. And it's just, it's weird. And yeah, it doesn't smell good. And but I don't know, there's just life here and I dig it. No, I get that. Because it like, just how you're describing it to that, that it's alive.Yes. It's what's happening.There's a pulse. There's a heartbeat. There's an organic, I don't know. It's almost like going kind of back to the mindfulness approach to life.Like if you take a bigger enough perspective, then you can get outside of yourself and see where we're connected or where we're all part of something. And when you look at it that way,then yeah, the whole city I mean, shoot when you get up in an aeroplane and you look down you see like the whole frickin planet below ese, right? Yeah.So you know, that kind of perspective. Like, yeah, you can kind of you know, you're flying back into LA and there's that urban sprawl and you're just like, Whoa, that's a whole lot.A lot of people.When you see it from in the air,it's like, what are we doing?Oh, totally. Yeah.But I don't know. It's it's coming to harmony.And it's neat, because that harmony is a great thing. And we all need it, and I want it. But if I go out to I don't know,wherever that harmony is, New Hampshire, whatever. I don't know, wherever it's country. And I can only take that for so long before I'm like, Okay.New Hampshire.I don't know stuff.Is that the epitome of something for you? I don't have much of a reference point.Here it is. I was thinking of one of those. One of those North South Carolina, I have a friend that just moved to South Carolina and North one of the Carolinas, and she showed me a video and pictures of her place.And it's just country and and she's not rich. She's just got a nice little modest home. But she's got land all the way around her. And it's just like,Oh my God, that's brilliant.What a great getaway. That would be. But I wouldn't want to live there.Yeah. Yeah.I don't know. That's just me. I totally get why somebody would want to live there.I think that's one of the things I like about LA though, like when I said born and raised in Toronto School in Montreal, came down here whatever 18 years ago or so. Yeah. And I remember one of the days that I fell in love with California was hiking in Topanga mountains. Oh, sure. And then driving straight to the beach, or on swimming in the ocean for sure. And then walking up to I don't know one of those beach your doggies. Yeah,Moonshadow anyway one of those Dukes for sure. Right. And like they're walking up to Dukes and having some like you know, see foodie type meal and I feel like hey, look at me Yeah, yeah,hiking it Oh, come on, and then the sunset like it you know what struck me when I first came to LA Tom here there is a sense of dreams becoming reality of of people committing to a vision of taking something that the whole nature of this town is all about taking something from an idea into a real I mean, like it's built into the ground here it's you know, you go back to the Gold Rush or what have you. It's like it's there's just the I don't know what the energetic power lines of this area of the world but there's just something vibrant and I remember smelling it and feeling it when I first came here have that sense of like, follow through? And is that more of a testament to LA? Or is it show that where you came from? What was it Montreal,Toronto? That maybe that was just like not a very fulfilling place for you?I can't say that either. It's you know, it's kind of like I was saying about you know, being raised Jewish it's like it's who I am like I am that so I could never turn my back on it there's so much there that isn't here in terms of like the theater culture and and the the community that the world of theater performers and it's just sure coming from Montreal and theater school there and then in Toronto, like the culture of theatre in Toronto is so rich and that was my tribe and I miss it. Nice. I'm going back for part of the summer for like a month. I'd be really nice to invest back into that try for you. You'll see old faces or no Yeah, okay. Yeah. I want to ask you something. And you know,I'm no I don't have any kids as you know and I guess my question to you is, are you happy slash content with where your life came to where it is now? Having kids and being married is it everything you thought it would be in? Yeah, did it was like nah, Michael is as tough as anything else in life that's a long breath.Yeah, I think a wonder number two.Okay, that's, I can take that doesn't seem like an easy task.Can I just take a minute?Yeah. You okay?Yeah, yeah, no, I'm not like emotional. I'm okay. Pondering while you're doing that I'll sing the song that you sang earlier. You're gonna sing my song I was going to and then I remembered, I don't know the words coming to balancing get back to thinking about what you're thinking,Okay, fine. Okay, look, I grew up as a person who never planned on having children. Like I was pretty dead set against it. Wow.But I'm trying to remember when I had I did like a past life regression. And it was in that past life regression that I came to understand why I didn't want to have children in this lifetime. Because I was aware I've people have reflected me,for me to meet back at me my whole life that I carry, kind of like a mother archetype or a mother. way of being I generally, it's easy for me to nurture and to call together and to hold people and encourage people and some of the things that we associate with, with with a mother archetype, if you will. But in the past life regression, I got flashes and,and, and physical memory, I want to describe it as have numerous,very tragic experiences as mother deaths, children being taken from me, me not surviving,sick children. You know, and just getting those flashes of memory memory of an uncaught imagination, whatever, I don't care, but it is, I believed it.And the memory of like sitting at the bedside of my dying small child, like it's just, I get it,I suddenly got it. Like, why didn't want to do it. And then what? The shift came around my parents, and realizing that they weren't getting any younger. And if I was going to that, it was time and it was later for me, I had my first child at 34. But it's just I don't know how to describe it, something shifted.It just shifted. And then suddenly, I was on the other side of it. And I was ready and willing and wanting. And it's,it's I'm trying to get around the cliches. What are the cliches? There's the it's the kind of love that doesn't exist,aside from with your child. Oh,sure. That kind of cliche, of course. So I'm trying to expand on that somehow of like, how it has helped me see a greater picture of life and getting outside of myself and caring for someone and all those things,which all still seem like cliches. I'm wondering why I'm having such a hard time kind of getting to the root of it. But it's fun, and it's playful, and it's difficult, and it's challenging, and all of those things. And of course, I wouldn't I wouldn't change it for the world. I don't know. Not happy with not being able to get past the cliches.Well, I don't know if this helps you at all, but I know for me,I'm unhappy with where I am. And believe it or not, I really truly am. And I think that's because I'm happy inside my soul. But what I've, what I have expected to be here when I was younger, hell no. Are you kidding? No way. I had much better things planned. And, but the reality of it is, okay,well, what would you have done different? As well as specifically? I don't know, but but I would have chosen, I would have taken the same path. I would have still gone for the same things. Yeah. Okay. I would have done it differently in a way that made me make the outcome better. But but it's weird, because I mean, I feel like where I am now would make me think, oh, yeah, I should.Yeah. I should have done this or should have done that. But in my mind, I'm just like, No, I did what I wanted to do. It's just here's where we are. And I'm cool.It kind of associates back into the conversation about regrets.And I think that with a sense of acceptance with a sense of Be here now with a sense of this is where I am. Yeah. And any thing other than being where you are now is an incredible waste of energy. Oh, for sure. And then,I don't know just that.But you know what I would say that's where the chore comes in that I mentioned earlier. Okay.Yeah, go out. Why? Because I don't think people get easily stuck in this is what it is where they don't understand know, you can rise above it, just by becoming happy with who you are. Which because I didn't know it. And it's so helpful to just to hold on my throat is doing this thing.And so ultimately, once people realize, oh, look, if you could just be happy. You could just sit right here in your little home and not do a goddamn thing if you wanted to, and be happy.Because you're allowing yourself to be, but people don't understand that they want to lament or they don't have, and thus making themselves unhappy.She likes to take long breaths.It's a byproduct of actually listening. That's very true. And not just you know, yeah. Waiting for you to stop talking. So I can say what I've already been pre conceiving for the last six minutes of you talking.Listen, to understand not to reply.Right? Yeah. Yeah. So I do find that there are elements that I like, when you talk about, like,you know, be happy. That was that was a big part of my exploration for me for a long time, too. I interviewed people about it and asked people about it, like, what does happy mean?What does that feel like? Yes.And I think some of the results of my research, if you will, is really the power of choice. And it's difficult for me to say that because I know that when I was in my depression, that that would have made me punch you in the teeth. Yep. For sure. If you'd said that to me. And, and I kind of resent the whole pull yourself up by your bootstraps kind of attitude. Yeah, yeah.I was gonna sock someone in the face because I was suicidal. And they said, hey, everything's gonna be alright. And I was like, I'll bring your face over here real quick, so I can punch you.Uh huh. Man, it's, it's wild to reflect. Isn't it? Like to those?Okay, I don't even know who that guy was. Yeah. Me,Adams. I have another song about that.Oh, you're gonna sing another song?Okay, very now. I'm not anyway.Is it? Is it another disco original? Yes, I'll hear it.bottom is where you turn up.Bottom, his where you turn.bottom is where you turn up.It's was part of a whole play good out of context.I mean, that you can just do that. If somebody, anybody who needs to hear that gets it.Right. Like it's, it's the place where you find yourself. And it's also the turning point.Yep. And that's when you know,you're really at bottom.Yeah. And you know what, I think you'll agree with me, and I always feel bad because I never know how to say these things or how to articulate them, as well as you might. But I think we realize there's way at the bottom of you we need these travesties or the tragedies and whatnot to happen in our lives to make us realize, Okay, how are we going to make ourselves better? Yeah, because this sucks whatever we did up to this point, this blows, we need to do something to rise above it. And which is why I love to say, I feel like I'm talking about myself a lot right now, but I'm gonna do it anyway. But that's why I like to say I'm a much happier better person today than I was that I have been in my whole life. And that's amazing even for me to hear myself say that. And it's because of the work I put in the self care and,and understanding that okay, I can either sit here and lament that I don't have fuck, and I may as well kill myself, too. I have nothing and I couldn't be happier.Well, you know I've known you for enough years to be able to be witness to that journey and I will second it. Nice thanks.It's beautiful what I'm seeing now Merce there's there's a there's a light in you. There's a love, there's a presence,there's an ease. There's like a lack of fighting against the world. Sure. I want to say,Yeah, there's definitely my negative sarcastic self was enjoyable to me only. But I enjoyed it. And I didn't realize oh, yeah, not everything was hip to it. It's kind of places got its place. Yeah.But it's nice, because now that it's gone. People do say that,Oh, they see you seem happier and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, Yeah, but but the funny. I don't want the funny to go away.Because funny comes from that sarcastic,you know, what's different about it, too, I observe is that I feel like when you and I first started to get to know each other, that there was the sense of like, I felt like I had to like, dig through the presentation of I totally get you, right. So you through of digging through the presentation of the facade. And like, I remember trying to,like, convince you or show you that I could see your soft heart. You remember that stage?I don't recall you doing that. I felt like we had made that connection. Right away. I didn't know. Like, there was like, like, I see you. I see you. You can't hide from me,because I see you.I think as I was telling somebody recently that I think it was always with this gruff demeanor. Yeah, that, but anybody who knew me or that I would allow you to know me, saw that it was really a teddy bear inside.Exactly. And I remember you did used to use that phrase. It's just the difference is a hidden teddy bear under rubble.Yeah, who wants to dig through all the rubble? Yeah, totally sounds like wearing the teddy bear costume on the outside, which I will tell you at the time when you're simple. That's the word you're more accessible.And because as to what I was just gonna say the nobody. When you're when you aren't Mr.gruff, I think it's Mr. Griffin steam, technically. But you don't realize that you're the only one digging it or that you could be happier. And I did have people at the time that were close to me, that would explain to me, Hey, you, you know, you can you could be happier. You just have to work at it. And I was just like, Nope, no, thanks.And, and so now that I did work at it, it's like, oh, yeah, you know, people talk about regrets is like, it's not a huge regret.But I guess if anything, if I had one regret in my life, it would be that I didn't strive to be happier earlier on.As sort of my thing recently is realizing some of those things,those things that are like an albatross around your neck and probably have been for years.And then, and then the work or situation or revelation, or that kind of hit bottom and turn up place where you realize I need to do things differently. Yeah,I need to do things differently.Now, right? I am done. I refuse that that turning point, right,that after that, you know, you actually do make some shifts,you actually do do something something differently, right?And the like, just blinding epiphany of like, Whoa, this is so much easier on the other side of that giant thing that I've been carrying for, like how many years and it's like, Why did I wait, but I don't know if for you, but if the thing was, I think is when you are in that position, you all of a sudden say okay, what and your body almost naturally opens itself up to opportunity,have fun. And for me, and I say again, I talk freely about my suicidal thoughts at the time.So when I had that, all of a sudden one day, I look at this meme by Maya Angelou and, and then later on, I saw variants of that from Will Smith, which I loved his variants as well.Which said, Okay, I get it. It's not your fault. So now what are you going to do about it? And I was like, holy shit. Okay. Damn,that one floored me.Okay, it's not your fault. Now,what are you going to do about it? Yeah. like you being you in that sentence now, what am I going to do about it?No, what is Will Smith gonna do for me? Just kidding. Yeah, what am I gonna do about it? It's like for so for me, it's like,yeah, I've got all these things and I'm these burdens in my mind that I'm carrying. And this sucks. My life sucks, and I'll kill myself the fucking sucks.And then, you know, here's somebody say, Hey, I get it. I hear you. And this stuff happened to you, and it's not your fault. But what are you going to do about it?I heard one recently that I've been puzzling around. That said something about forgiveness is a solo act.I love it. I love it.I do do. But it takes dirt. It's huge. I told you one years ago, which I still embrace, which is oftentimes you have to accept the apology that never came. And it's just, it's so true. I mean, God, we can beat ourselves up all day. Or we can say, You know what? I'm okay. That person wronged me,but I'm okay. Yeah. Doesn't mean you have to go and be nice and let them borrow your car. But it does say there's no reason to turn your nose up at them when they pass by. Because you're only hurting yourself. They don't care.Yeah. Or, like, block the whole relationship because of an apology that you're never gonna get right. That's not to say that you can't set boundaries, but to does say, or stop beating yourself up. You can say, Oh,they mentioned that person's name. Now my mad boy is like,Oh, okay. Well, you're only hurting yourself, brother.Yeah, chill. Adam, nice were you doing now? I remember the second part. God has stepped aside and let the Muse through. You.bottom is where you turn or wish you Googe he wishes I would shut up a gonna sing his wishes I mentioned before, didn't mean for later. Or wish you would get eaten up by a NAND gate. Right?Your face doesn't rhyme.Phase is not designed to match anything. Of course it doesn't rhyme.I don't even think you know what you're saying anymore. That's fine. You ready? Yeah.I give you a fat fabulous musical intro. Do you mean I've been ready? I don't know. But one of the things I always think is most important for us as a people is human connection. And and then. So I think it's tough when people don't have a nice source. Friends, whether it's a group of friends or one friend.Do you feel like you have that in your life?Yes. But yeah, I've, I've something about the way my life has evolved is I have not that many people. Not what not that many people. Okay, that I keep close by choice?I guess. So.What do you mean? Why do you guess? It seems like such a strong decision on your part?Well, the answer is yes. By choice just because I do believe that we all co create our life.So what we have in front of us is what we've created, or is the lesson that needs to come up or is the lesson that is coming up and it's awkward to say that to you know, not knowing all of the details of the hardships that you face or someone else faces but it's dumb. I'll just go with it anyway. And well wait, what do you mean the it's those hardships that we all try to figure out together that helped create that need together? We're helping each other I don't disagree. What's the what's the but at the end of that sentence, though,everybody I know has a big butt.Michaels is everyone's God vague, but I don't know how often your mom told you you were a good singer never doing that. Never. That's why I do it. Now it's my act of rebellion.It's been a long time, Kara.Well, you know, rebellion can go on for a while. It's true,especially as you uncover aspects of your young self that need nurturing and so then it comes out in abundance inappropriately.That was a long, long sentence.So, yes, I do have a small handful. Of Okay, two, three.Okay. That I keep close. I don't know why I don't I don't know.It's something I'm looking at. I feel like I don't do friendship very well, in the long term. I don't know. I you know what, you know, what's the truth? I do so much better in presence in person. And I am a I'm a triple Pisces, and so like, if something isn't right in front of me. Yeah. It's like it doesn't exist.Are you that type of friend who doesn't want to make plans?That's probably pretty true.Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. plans,plans, plans. Plans is a commitment. Ha man, a commitment is an expectation. Dictation is like an anchor.Yeah, that in what your private time? Yeah. If you make plans,you're the one that's like getting ready to go. And you're like, Am I really going?Oh, yeah, that's totally me.It's a shame. I mean, it's such a shame. It's just so far different from my thoughts. Really?Okay, so enlightened me. What would it What else could it look like? What are your thoughts?I don't mean, I don't have thoughts on how you're approaching No, no.In your world. Yeah.What is just a my life option. I want friends. I want to be able to communicate and see people and hey, you want to go to a movie? Yeah. Let's go grab lunch. I want those things. And there, yes. I won't deny that.Sometimes. There'll be a peripheral friend that I've made plans with that. I'm like, do I really want to go? I think that's true of all of us. But I want I want to go hang out with people I give a shit about.I do too. I don't know what that is. A fierce protection of wine downtime, or maybe because my life is so busy.That's a good point. You are so busy with family. I've got like four careers and two kids.Like,last thing I have is time for you and coffee.I guess. Yeah.I think that's valid.Okay, have a good night.I'm done talking to you.Well, you can't be done talking to me because of them didn't talk to me. You quit. You're fired. Got to accept the apology that never came?Yeah. Yeah. No, that's a good one.It is. But it doesn't relate here.No, it doesn't.I was just circling back. I like it. I don't know, I think I perhaps put a buffer up against friendships because I had an idea that I only wanted to spend time in valuable friendships. But that doesn't really track because I have a lot of valuable friends valuable friendships that I just don't maintain. Well.You mean that have failed on your level because of your allowance?Because of my time management?Okay. When did this become a therapy session?I think two seconds ago when I said Cara it doesn't have to be you can talk about whatever you want to talk about. I don't care.No, but I think you're right,that connection is hugely important. And, you know, I find I find weird things I find like an open mic or a creative circle or I'll build a group that has you do open mic somewhere. Well,it's not caught. It's not comedian open mic. It's like poetry in creative expression and characters. Yeah.Okay. So let me ask you this. I did not know that. No big deal.But is that would you at some point, say, Oh, hey, Vieyra. At some point, I'm doing this open mic on my poetry even if you'd like to come by. Yeah. All right. I mean, but no, but would you say that without me prompting you right now?Yes, the only but at the end of that sentence is sometimes they're women's groups understood. And so they're like,I'm not the one doing it.However, what I am doing more of is creating the kinds of environments that I want to have and that does include multi gender. Because I appreciate the value of women's groups deeply and also in the groups that I'm creating. Yeah, I for me, for me, I want to make it open.Yeah,I can see we're both worries. I don't. But as you know, I do like to write poetry. But it's one of those things that I'm not necessarily secure. And I just do it, because I like to.Well, one of the groups that I'm starting soon is called the creative soul workshop. Yeah.And part of the design of that is for people who wouldn't just like, hey, I've got four slots open, what a great idea, come and do it. It's more of a nurturing, and helping craft the writing and helping rehearse and practicing and facing whatever is coming up and then moving to a kind of, like the word showcase, but like a share.Like, this is what I'm doing recently. It's like, I'll find one person who's into something,and then I'll build a whole program for them.Okay.Somebody who's fresh.Yeah. Huh. Like this acting for directors thing that I'm doing right now. Yeah, that came from one conversation with one dad,who is a director and our kids were in the pool. And we were like, throwing rocks into basically playing fetch with our daughters. Okay. And he was like, Have you ever taught an acting class for directors? And I'm like, No, I'm as I'm gonna like receiving all this like,information about how the course would work. I like I can create courses all the time. It's like,a weird obsession. I was having lunch today. And somehow it came up that I would be a good mme for actors who need to be prostitutes on the side is was that the title of the course. This is not a real course. But today, I don't have a title for it yet.So I'm open and you've got one.But I literally started like imagining how it would work like the health care benefits and the monthly check ins and retreats.But the John's so there's like this healthy environment, like I have a weird, a weird obsession,ability lean toward creating programs for like, practically anything.But anyway, the acting for directors came from this like one person. And same with this other course I did a while back called act now. And that was also like, there was one actor who needed this whole program that just also this is it's this mother thing I birth, I birth things. Well, it's good, because what I hear is that you just leave yourself open to opportunity.Yeah. Picasso at the LePen Gilles? It's a play by Steve Martin. Do you know? Yeah, one of the lines that really struck me was he was open to receive it. Yeah. Right. Right. Did that resonate for you too? For real?No, at the time, no. But now my life 100% Yeah.That, that live living with the intention, and flexibility and space, to be able to be open to receive it, it being inspiration or space holding for other people.Anything, just general knowledge? Yeah, stop thinking you know everything and just open yourself up to what you don't know.That's one of the big takeaways Do you know A Course in Miracles? No. So I won't go into all backstory about it. But one of the big takeaways from it is that for me is that questions are life and answers or death?Because Oh, because death answers are closed, they're finished. It's done. I know what that is checkmark done underline bold period. Whereas a question,a question is the opposite of question is open. It's curious.It's seeking it's available.It's it's it's it hopeful, it's it's open.And that's part of what I'm enjoying about these conversations that I'm having with different people is I know how I, I know the course I take as far as how I want to maintain happiness and evolve into a better person. But at the same time, the reason I want to do this is because I want to see how you guys do it. And it may be simpler, it may be much more difficult, but I want to see how it's done. I don't want to be locked into what I think is right.Can you see that again? Or clarify? Like you want to see how other people what,how other people find their happiness and maintain their happiness and evolve into a better version of who they are.Well, you're very gentle leader then because I didn't realize that was the premise and that's exactly what we've been doing.So good job. Yeah. Yeah,no, I'm really smart.I'm really good.I don't even smoke pot. Now, I mean, yeah, that is ultimately why why I'm doing this. And I'm glad you didn't know if you didn't know, maybe that would have changed the tone of our conversation. But, but, but the fact of the matter is, here we are, here we are, and, and if somebody happens to eavesdrop on our conversation, I want them to be able to either just enjoy it,because we're stupid idiots, or harder to get something from it,you know? And if they do, that's great. And if they don't cool,I'm sure they'll they'll let me know that as well.Conversations with God was another one that was revolutionary for that kind of shift. Yeah. The whole concept of of writing a dialogue between you and God or your higher self,or the universe or spirit, or just that which is greater or a bigger point of view is a simplest way, or more atheist way of describing it would be just like, speaking to the part of you that has greater vision,like, remember, we were talking about being in an aeroplane and seeing the whole planet? Oh,yeah. So even just that, that different perspective, that bigger perspective. So being in dialogue with that Universal Spirit, or God or that greater perspective, and then writing and writing back and forth?Dang, I mean, the books are mind blowing. But I also took from it the practice of doing that, and having dialogues back and forth.And similarly, it's probably not as good it's definitely not as good but whatever it was cathartic to write back and forth with different aspects of self in different aspects of what I perceived the voices of spirit or different spirits or guides to be and then from then I then had guides in my own language, that's language I like that I call on for support. Or when I go into meditation, that I think my guides after and I'm going into a moment that's potentially full of conflict,and I call on my guides beforehand, and then I just don't feel alone, which is kind of another version of what you were saying about community,except minus imaginary.Highly Evolved imaginary friends.I mean, it's tough for me to go there with you on that, but, but I liked it. It works for you.And I'm not being sarcastic at all. I know you're laughing but I really mean that does come off as a little like pity.Oh, God, no. I will if it does come across that way. I can only apologize. Yeah. My my tone is just that.I'm self conscious.I might be more of that. I don't know. But for me, it's like no,if they're imaginary, then I just sets a weird odd tone for me but maybe that's just because my misunderstanding. But while the truth is I don't think they're imaginary well, doesn't that now who's taking a long pause? Yeah, it was a sarcastic lung buzz I think I've ever heard of a sarcastic long here it was Yeah, for sure.Replaying those five seconds in my head that was a long pause. It was a sarcastic long pause they laugh at me. Why do I feel high? I am not high. I don't know. Got this like,do you get that feeling often?Yeah, I guess I do.Do you smoke often or do you smoke at all?I have a close relationship with marijuana Yes. Gotcha. Not much these days no. Okay. No it's I'm there's no residue in my body at this moment.And that's and that you know, I have no I'm totally ignored on marijuana. So as if you do smoke a lot of marijuana. Is it possible to kind of get the marijuana giggles when you're not even smoking?Maybe there. You could argue there's trace amounts or something the next day but not really. Okay, now Really no If anything, it's like when when we go to a place of expansion when we allow ourselves to. Okay,tangent, kind of, yeah. One of the, a new program I'm evolving is an advanced Acting Program having to do with blurring the lines at the edges of reality essentially. Okay. Essentially spatial awareness and connecting so much to the space around you that you feel less attached to the edges of your form. Do you know Have I lost you already know? Great. And I did find when I started delving into this and researching it and talking to quantum physician physicists was that word quantum smart people.So quantum smart people if I'm not mistaken.Thanks for the fact check. That Steve is it quantum smart people?Why did you see Steve?Wow.I don't know what's going on here.No, I'm serious.I guess because subliminally I knew what you were thinking of some guy named Steve.Did I tell you that before? No.Dude. In the course of two weeks, I met three Steve's All right, just so you know Nostradamus my my go to guys name when I'm calling out somebody in a gag is Steve collar what you will but I've been freaking out about my three Steve's recently who are all quantum mathematicians one sort or another one is an acting professor. One is actual scientist and the other one is a Yale graduate who's like super creative and I literally had a meeting with three Steve's in a24 hour period where they all dressed in black on the Eagles Hotel California album cover Okay, that was a sarcastic sign. No, I heard it.I actually heard the dragon ready to spew some flames1976 I am a dragon. Anyway,seriously? What a validation.All right, I do feel high. So anyway, when I started delving into this playground of playing with the losing the edges of my form. Yeah. I sound so totally crazy.Yeah I started to feel this sense of expansion to the point of feeling high when I'm not I'm not the first person to experience this. I have a mentor in my life and she says that she does not do any plant medicines.But she meditates for so long.That she goes to the kinds of states that having done plant medicine just once or twice she can compare and that it's very similar. Oh, by that I Okay, I'm gonna bite my tongue now. Oh,come because I'm feeling shy.Okay you're too shy shy? That'll be cut because that's Oh sure.registered trademarks on that I Okay, fine. See, you need you need my my handwritten songs. I like to turn up shut up song.It's not turn up. Shut up. How's it go? bottom is where your turn. Right?I sure wish that you would shut up. Oh, I see you like your version of my song. Oh,I thought that was the next line. No, it's not. Right. I don't like it so much anymore.Okay,I'm not gonna bite my tongue. I do believe and there is science to back this that we have more control over our mind there is more access to the relationship between mind and body and spirit not as separate entities with mind as the solo primary leader.But that when we can drop into a heart or body or spirit and allow those to be primary, even for a short period of time, that it realigns our system and how we relate to the world and how we relate to others, how we communicate how we create how we channel how we flow through life, how we create life because thought creates manifestation it's how things actually work.I've become far less mazed When weird things happen like you saying Steve and I know you're like that's just my go to name but I've got my three Steve's that I've been freaking out about for like three months.Okay. So the fact that you would say that aim is just like, see,that's how the universe actually works. But maybe I'm misunderstanding. I felt like you just said you're becoming far less amazed at those revelations because I'm not amazed, like,Oh my God, that's totally crazy.I can't believe you said Steve,but I don't think said validation of that's how things actually. But you were just amazed a second ago, Kara when it happened.Can't find now I'm really showing up again.No.Yes, you're right. I was amazed.I'm not trying to play devil's advocate. I'm just trying to figure out.Okay, I was amazed, but it's also just a validation.A Gotcha. I'm with you. It was both amazing, but still yet a validation? Yes. And you're actually being amazed at the validation of it. Yes.Okay. I'm with you.I'm talking about things I don't normally talk about and I feel like I will be perceived as crazy. Do you think I'm crazy?Nevermind. I don't care. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.Now, I'm going to tell you,you're crazy. For sure. Just based on the last three sentences.Can you edit those out? Quick Oh, I'm gonna stick a Beatles song.To it right over it together.It's like when the celebrities flip off the paparazzi so they can't publish the shots.Right now.Shut up.I got nothing.You got nothing.Have you ever had a bundle of fun tonight?I have had a bundle of fun tonight.Yeah, this was pretty cool. I'm really glad you came. And I've really had a fortunate experience with this project.And, yeah, I really have and everybody's different. And it's just it's a different path, man.It's like you just mentioned earlier, it's like I'm opening myself up to this. And learning.And it's kind of cool.I am really excited for you. And I love you dearly. And I'm really happy that you're finding this like outlet and method of like, you've talked good. And you listen good. And you're a good person and a good friend and a good leader. And this is a really great avenue to explore all of those pieces. And I'm really excited to see it all come through like this and honored to be in the first bundle of fun people. And yeah,this has been a very unique experience I think this has been the you've been the most hive guests that I've had so far.I am not Hi.Hi No, wink wink, wink there is there are no chemical alterations anyway because I know you're not sound like I'm high because I'm not I just said I'm gonna cut it out, Kika you don't have to end with a fight.When that'd be awesome though.Like, I'd love to hear you throw the headphones off and say I'm out here Raya, and then use both water out of here.While a lot all this is bullshit. What? What's that bit about? Famous, okay,we're going to play a game right now I'm going to try to explain what I'm thinking of, and you're going to try to figure it out who who I'm talking about. All right, okay. He's a famous writer. Sure. From I think the50s. And he was brought into a sound studio and he was given a script. And he thought that the script was badly written. Don't know. Nevermind, but he had the best of you know the answer I do in this somewhere in the depths of my mind that I can't find right.And it was an author. Yes. Who came into a studio? Yes. To read a script of his of his book.No, it was a script that was given to him or just a script.This is I can almost hear the words. I'm gonna have to circle back to this. It's not going to come right now. Did he say call me Ishmael? No. Raya, let's go.Oh, he said, This sickens me.You sicken me. No, really.That's you know what? When game night rolls around, I don't want you on my team. Wow.You better hope to God that we're not playing Scattegories I just I you know, we work really, really well together. In a lot of ways, I don't know, the fact that you can't call up this name for me right now. It's not giving me hope for I don't want to make you feel dumb by telling you that it's Kurt Vonnegut.Okay. It's not Kurt Vonnegut.Well, it's got elven wrath.Let's go. Okay, raised stayin here.You're keeping my daughter.Yeah.She's good dog. Oh, my goodness.I apologize for all the meandering, but that's also part of what this is right?Uh, yeah, but we're done right now. We're just goofing.Well, it's been a real treat.And thank you for having me.I like it. I've really enjoyed having you as I've always, you know, I'm a big fan of you and always have been and so I was really happy that you were not just wanting to come but you were eager to come and that was that made me feel good. That's definitely. All right. Well, I think we decided that I had the better voice, right.Like and Subscribe my friends and subscribe, put it in the comments of whose voice is better. We'll leave it to the people.That's fair enough democracy.I'm alright with that. Kara, can you tell Andrew to take us out?Andrew, take us out. Who is Andrew? Does that mean he plays the music Alright, you guys, thanks for coming out. That was awesome.We're going to be back in a couple of weeks. So hopefully you'll join us then. And if you feel so inclined, please leave a positive review on any of your favorite platforms. And if you didn't like us, of course, this is Xavier McGillicuddy signing out for today. It's Michael Vieyra. You knucklehead See you later