“The tension made it sexy” with Jennifer Capriccio

I shot a few times with Jennifer Capriccio. She has wonderful energy. Very intelligent. Fun to talk to. 
So put on your chill and come listen in.  
She talks about:
Passionate anger
Voice overs
Moving to Madrid
Making new friends there
Burning Man
Will she ever get married
Seeking out her father
Crying is healthy
Ghosting
Comedy
Allowing herself to be free

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michaelvieyraphotography

Transcript

Unknown: 0:08

Welcome to courage under the stars with Michael Vieyra. That's me, I am Michael Vieyra. Here I speak off the cuff with people that I find interesting, where you're going to sit in a darkened room and just allowing you to eavesdrop. I tell my guests, no politics, no religion, but otherwise, I don't care what we talk about, as long as it comes from the heart. I hope even just a small part of it resonates with you. Some of it will, some of it won't. And that's okay. But I'm just glad you're here. I really do love all of you. And thanks for coming. Let's get this thing started here. And you're not wanting to have your your wings clipped? That's exactly right. Don't fuck with you. If you know something about me that I will tell you this, that I would not want to make you mad. I wouldn't think that would be wise. And why? How does somebody you know, I know you threw out the Latina thing a second ago. But how does somebody get so angry, but yet so loving? Most of the time? You know, it's it's funny that you start with this part of the conversation because I think it's because and forgive me for saying this. But I find that in American society, we have like a little bit of trouble with emotions, particularly the emotion around anger or frustration. Like we think it's bad. Okay. But I think in other cultures, like, Latin culture, some European countries, Israelis like that kind of fiery people, we don't see it as a problem. So we're very comfortable with it. So when we're mad, we're mad for real, we don't gloss it over. We don't make it politically correct. If we're mad, you'll know about it. And it's okay. And then you're done with it. But here, it's like it's a problem. You know what it is? It's not the problem itself. It's the fact that nobody wants confrontation. And you guys Latina, and we don't problem with but I'm Latino. So yeah, until I know what you mean. It's like, I don't have the problem with the confrontation. Because I'm not really mad at you. Yeah. I'm just passionate about what I'm talking about. Correct? Yeah. Or, you know, when, in certain instances, it could be that I'm mad at you. But it's okay. I don't want to kill you. But we got to talk about it directly. And I don't want to pretend that I'm not mad at you, or that I'm not passionate about something. Why do I have to tone it down so you can feel comfortable? That really, I started really having a problem. And one of the reasons why I decided to move to Spain. Believe it or not, because I got tired of just people saying, Oh, you're so confrontational or you're angry? And it's like, no, man, this is the way we heard. You felt like you were being accused a lot in America. Yeah, by your good friends or people. Um, some good friends. Not not so much my good friends, but like my ex boyfriend had a problem with it. Some some people like it just happened to me, on my way back from Burning Man. Which was really interesting, because here's this guy. Oh, Jen, your tone just went from conversational to aggressive. And I'm like, really? How so? And he's like, because suddenly and then he like suddenly, like, looks me in the eyes directly. And I'm like, Oh, is it because I'm looking directly at you. But in the meantime, he's like, accusing me of all sorts of things. And then he proceeds to be like, What nationality are you again? And I'm like, I see where you're going with it. You're gonna you're gonna tell me that because I'm Cuban, Spanish, Italian. I'm aggressive. And I'm firing. I'm like, Don't fuck with me. They know what you're trying to say that? Because it makes me afraid to be so close to you right now. Hear me say what? You're like, Bitch Don't fuck with me right now. Yeah. And that was I was like, wow, that's why I'm not here anymore. It is funny because I was seeing a woman who was Sri Lankan. And I don't know what I don't know if that dictates anything. But she was passionate, as well. And we all we found ourselves arguing considerably. And at the end of the day, nothing but love. Yeah, correct. Yeah. But my roommate at the time, who was Anglo, and his Anglo girlfriend, Barry's, like, why are you guys fighting all the time? Like, why do you guys never fight? It's just weird. It is weird. i It almost makes me nervous. Because it's like, what are you hiding there? Like, why are you and I find that here we end up trying to be so it's like a psychology session all the time. Every time people tried to talk to each other. Everything's so politically correct or so. You know, everybody's trying to give each other the thing therapy, that nobody's really saying what they really want to say. It's tough that bothers me. Because in this new age that we live in which I don't mind, I'm a big fan of this new age that we live in. We want to be careful. I want to be thoughtful of your feelings. Yes. 100%. I'm not saying we should throw that away. But I think we're going overboard where people are just not really seeing. And I don't mean, really say what you want to say, like Trump's style. That's inconsiderate. Do you see what I'm saying? No, they're strict ways of saying, yeah. What you want to say without being offensive or ridiculous. But, but I find that people are not even addressing what they really should be addressing. They're just not talking about the pink elephant in the room. It's like, no, it's gray. It's just sitting there. What is what's sitting there? Let's let's talk about it. Yeah, this is an that bothers me. Here's the thing. In my opinion, I think oftentimes, we think, Well, I'm ready to talk about it. Why can't you Why or why can't we talk about it? And I think we as people who are passionate, don't recognize that, oh, maybe just because I'm ready to talk. Maybe they are not. That's true, too. Some people are not ready to help talk about it, or they have an inability to talk about certain things. Yeah. Some people are passive aggressive. People like that tend to not want to ever address anything directly. And they want to find ways around it. And they want to get you to that boiling point. Yeah. And then they want it but see, even talking about it gets me going because I feel it's like whether they intend to or not, it ends up being really manipulative. And I'm like, what a waste of fucking time, bro. Like, you're spent. you're expending all this energy trying to go around shit, and denying and deflecting. And then rather than just like, address it directly be done with it. I don't know if you're getting there as well as I did now that I'm getting older, and we're all getting older. So I'm not saying you're old by any stretch. But as you as you rise in age, don't you kind of just like, Okay, I don't need that energy in my life anymore. I'm going to let you go. Totally. And I've I've realized that because I'm my style is direct the amount of passive aggressive people as much as I may love them, they may be great people that I can have around, it needs to be zero to minimal. Because they really fuck with me. They just really bad for my health. They're bad for my house. It's so weird, and I can't stress this enough. You're such a sweet woman. I am a big fan of you. But God damn if I wouldn't be afraid if you were mad at me. You know, I'm both and I have my limits. And I want that and I actually put up with a lot like I observe I give people a lot of rope. Okay. And you know, inevitably they either take the rope to come along with you or or they hang themselves with the rope. We are not great, great friends, but we're friends. Yeah. Have you ever given me that rope? I think I give everybody the rope. But it's differently because we see each other in such small spurts and it tends to be professional. So I think it's kind of the rope isn't necessary we have it's not necessary. Like we have a very good rapport. I find that I that happens more with definitely with boyfriends, business relationships, or close friends, you know. And I like to observe a lot while I give them rope because that's how I learned about them and ask you a dumb question. Have you ever been in a fistfight? No, not really. But I would have loved to have made a fist fist right now. There's been instances where? Oh man, I want to just punch your face. Are you a Scorpio? I'm not my mother is and my grandfather who raised me is a Scorpio and not my ex boyfriend. The one prior to that one was a Scorpio. So it's an energy that I know well what's your sign? Leo Virgo. I gotta go listen audiobooks. I just started to do audiobooks. I just started listening to audiobooks. And I used to hate them. I was like, No, I want to read I want my imagination to flare. And because my vision has gone bad old man, that now I'm listening to audiobooks and I love it. Do you? Are you doing anything? I would be interested in listening to well, who knows? You know who Alexandria Ocasio Cortez is worse. Okay. So they just came out with a book on her life like her beginnings. She got to where she is. Yeah. And they did in both English and Spanish. She did the Spanish book, dude. See the queen of the resistance? And do you read it? So you read it in Spanish? We didn't Spanish and there's some little pieces in English, but I read it in Spanish and then there was another Alba did the English that may only assist in sample. Now what I just pretended to say in Spanish was let me hear a little sample although I just said gobbly gook about it. I'm here. I want to kick it escape. Michael Kay get the liberal experience. Yeah. I'm not even joking. But in the in the last into Castilian Don't stop me. I'm in charge here. That's awesome. I love it. Now I'm learning the Castilian. Oh, definitely. Yeah. which I like better. Because sexy. It's cool. I like it. It's fun. So I just love languages and accent here's the difference. And you'll understand because your Spanish and, and understand. But like, if I learned to speak Spanish, which I was trying for the longest time, I want to learn to speak like Antonio Banderas, you know, have you ever heard them? And invariably, it comes out like my deal, Joey. Michael, like my tea, smoked a joint with Cheech and Chong is still about public peace law. It's like God. Okay, thanks. But no, I like I like the sound of that. That's good. Yeah. Because, you know, moving to Madrid. I know, we're gonna talk about that. Shut up, I got a question for you. Don't be don't be jelly. Dude, you're doing everything you do so much. And there's every reason for any individual to be jealous of you. Why and how you're I know, you move to Madrid or you are moving to Madrid in the process. I know you're going back and forth to America, you're going to Italy, you're on all sorts of places. How are you doing this? Well, I gotta tell you, it's a dream that I've had for a long time. Europe has always called on me. And I knew in some way, I was always going to end up in Europe, for personal and professional reasons. And when COVID came, and everything started going, at home, record at home, everything at home, everything went very digital, like we didn't really need to be in person with each other anymore, which I thought was horrible. But I said to myself, Oh, this is also good, this is going to have its perks. And there was a lot of remote work from home in any industry. So I said, You know what, I don't really need to be in La 24/7. And particularly as a voiceover artist, so why not expand? Keep so I started kind of nurturing my voiceover career even more. I had a few years where I was like, kinda like, on the fritz and you know, sort of really down and out and my, my entire career was kind of like a little bit of a pause, and I said, I'm gonna fire this shit up again. And I started with my voiceover career, which is the easiest one to tackle. And so I just started coaching a little bit with a friend who's an angel who coached me and just cleaned me up, because he's like, Jen, you know what you're doing, we just need to clean you up a little bit. And I started booking again. And the minute I broke up with my boyfriend, too, and bought my ticket to Spain, I started booking even more that makes sense. And I said, my, I said to myself, Okay, remote work. Many people do it graphic designers do it, crypto, people do it. Voiceover artists can do it. There's no reason why cannot be in Spain, and work all my American jobs. And I remember I told my agent at TSD. I'm like, This is what I'm doing. And she's, how's that gonna work out and the time difference? And I'm like, don't worry about it. Let me deal with that with the time difference. And you went into that, that male voice? Let me deal with the time difference. Yeah. And so I did it. I went to Madrid. And the bookings just kept coming. And so immediately, I already knew this was going to happen. I made connections with two people, one who had a private studio and one production house that their bread and butter is actually dubbing because, you know, in Spain, they dub all the movies into Spanish. Oh, sure. Very few theaters show the original versions. So their bread and butter is dubbing and then they do video games as well and audiobooks and all that. And so a friend of mine from here and engineer friend of mine had connected me with that production house a place called perfect sound. And I went I auditioned for them. Now I'm in their voice bank. And they said, By the way, if you ever need to use the studios and rent the studios are at your disposal. So I was like, great. So I had places to record right away. And when the bookings came, I had places to record and everything was seamless. But tell me about the hows and the whys. Like at some point when you realize to yourself, I'm moving to Spain. Where was your heart? Where you're afraid to go? What about your friends that you are leaving behind? You know what, Michael? It was very sad. I realized that in LA I knew many people, but I had very few friends. Sure. So in that way, it wasn't hard, it was sad. But I was like, I'm ready to leave, I really was really sad and depressed in LA. The energy at the city has changed as well. The energy is very low vibration, and I was just really unhappy. And I was really unhappy in my relationship as well. So and going back to what I said earlier, I already knew I had one I had wanted to go to Europe for a long time. So I just did it. I just I said now now's the time when the pandemic came, I said the moment the pandemic eases. I'm out here. Was I scared? Yeah, a little bit, because I was like, Oh, my fucking god, am I like, right to do this? Like, am I gonna be able to keep my jobs? Am I just crazy in the head? But I said, I don't you know, when I came to LA, I knew one person. What about moving to Madrid? What? You didn't know anybody out there? How would you know? I had a couple of friends. Okay, actually. So you had help finding a place? Are you still looking for a place? No, I what I did is I saved some money. And I said, I'm gonna go, my first trip is going to be two months to three months. And I'm just going to rent like a really nice Airbnb, I'm going to spend the money in a nice part of town. And I'm going to enjoy. And that's exactly what I did. And I found the place that I had envisioned, I said, I want a place with a lot of light. And those floor to ceiling Spanish doors. Yeah, that's exactly what I found. And it's not like it was super pricey. It wasn't cheap. It wasn't price. It was like, right on. And I had the money I had saved it. Because I said, I want to be in a place of beauty where I feel good. Because after you know, living in front of a fucking homeless encampment on Martel street, I was like, I need beauty. Yeah. And that's exactly what it was. It was great. And it was a great part of town. Do you know, are you going to be able to afford that for some time? Well, I'll tell you what the the host of the apartment, and I ended up ended up becoming really good friends. And so when I had to stay a few extra weeks, she brought down the price for me. And so now I have the ability to go back. Yeah. And she'll give me a better rate. But this time around, when I go back, I'll have my visa permit. So I'll probably maybe stay there for a month until I find a place that I'm going to rent now for like a year at least. And I saw pictures on your social media when you went back out there maybe in July. And it seemed like it was within three days, you were already hanging out with a group of people. Because I speak the language so I can integrate in society real quick. And you know me I have a good personality like I'm out there. Here's something that's a little weird. Not weird is not the word. Here's something that's a little I remember, you texted me you're like, how do you have that already? And okay, so here's my question. Unfiltered. Is it have anything to do with the fact that you're kind of a good? Kind of a good looking? You're a good looking woman? Does that have anything to do with that? Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, yeah, it's a tool. Okay. Not that a tool that I use manipulatively. But I think people are drawn to what they find attractive or beautiful. It opens a door for sure. And if on top of that, your cool peeps, then you know, it's awesome. It's awesome. Yeah, no, I agree. Good. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. Like I'm very attractive. So a lot of people will call me over to their table all the time. That's not true. Why are you looking at me like that? Good, Lord. You're like, oh my god, what am I supposed to say to this guy? Are we going back to that thing where you're like, This is what you should say. It's your cute. Wow. I'm kidding. Oh, yeah. It's really funny. I love you, Michael. Yeah, I love you back. I think the other reason why I think it was easy to make friends out there is because like, LA, I'm sorry to say I found that people over there are people. There's some soul in there. There's like some life. Yeah. They don't forget to be human beings. And they're open to meeting people. They're open. They're just open. And you gotta remember Madrid is like a very Cosmo city. In fact, it reminds me a lot of New York. Yeah. They're almost like Sister cities. And they're welcoming a lot of immigration. So you have a lot of Ukrainians now that have come over, who are getting their papers done real quick and really easy. And you have tons of Latin people now. I mean, I went to spin Spain 10 years ago, and I've seen the difference. The amount of Latin people I saw this time around was unbelievable. Yeah. You know, they're going back to the motherland. Right. So there's so a lot of English spoken over there. Not really. It's funny. For some reason, Spanish people don't like to speak English. Yeah. Yeah. But at the same time, they're kind of fascinated by it. And they think it's really cool. Like the comment I got all the time, which was really, really cute. They were like, We're just so impressed. Have you had your ability to speak English so well in Spanish and how you can switch back and forth from one to the other? They think that's very cool. But on the general, they don't necessarily, which is why they dub all their movies. They don't really, it's like, they're not that interested in speaking English. I'm not sure why that is. And I always tell them, I'm like, Look, it's only to your advantage, like, Forget whatever you may think of Americans, if it's like, if it's a sentiment and you don't want to speak English, but certain men sentiments about Americans, whatever, forget that, put that aside. Just think about it. Like, hey, the more languages you know, the more doors will open. True. I know. As a voiceover artist, I do English and Spanish. It's open doors. Yeah. And they're like, Yeah, you're right. But it's funny, they speak a ton of other languages, like a lot of French are the actors, that you're meeting actors, regular people, musicians, but I do want to meet more actors, like this time around, when I go back, I feel like I'm gonna meet more people in the business. This first time was just like, I'm open to meeting anybody. Have you connected with a love interest at this point? I connected with this French guy that actually stayed at the same Airbnb where I stayed for four days, and I thought he was insufferable. And that's kind of when I knew I was like, Oh, this is gonna end up in something. And the, the host is of the, they call it B. So in Spanish, they call apartments B. So the host who became a really good friend of mine, she's like, you know, you should call him up. He's, he's got a good head on his shoulders. And she somehow kind of made it set it up. And we ended up going out on two dates. And it was fucking awesome. Okay, because we had a lot of conversation, and we didn't necessarily agree on everything. So it was, you know, fiery, but then, at the end, I realized I was like, we actually have more things in common than I thought, and we agree and more points than I actually thought we would. And then it got really sexy. You know, of course, tell us about the sexual because the conversation got sexy, and the energy got sexy. And you know, the, the tension made it sexy. And that's the thing with the tension. The tension can't cross that line to like, dude, now you're just bugging me. Yeah. Now you're just annoying. Yeah, it's got to have that right kind of tension where it creates sexiness, but not like, Oh, you're I can't wait to get out of here. Yeah, you're a hateful, awful person. And he just was like, right. And then you know, of course, the accent Come on now dared to accent I love accents. And I think for me, even on a dude, wouldn't it straight and I'm like, do that sexy max. And they do it. Yeah. And for me, I was coming from a relationship where I was with a guy who was not decisive who you know, I'm not the kind of girl where like, you got to pay for everything. Oh, sure, girl. But when you go too much in the other direction is like, well. And so here comes this French guy. And he prides himself in being very much like, this is the way you treat a woman and, and whether I agree completely or not, it was just so fucking nice to be taken out to be taken out to quality places. Yeah, and not have a fucking dude complain about it. I was like, ah, and then you're hot, and you got the accent and we have good conversation. It was great. And he's probably dressed well, he was dressed, you know, simple, like he dressed a lot in black. But well, yeah, it looked good on him. And then, you know, on our second date, we ended up going out real late in the streets of Madrid can be very sexy, and bohemian. So we're walking around the Bohemian neighborhoods and like people are playing guitar and shit. And some of the alleys are a little you're holding T. And we're like kissing on the street and stuff. I was like, Ah, this is fun. Like a movie. Awesome. It was great. It was awesome. But so only the two dates. Well, because it was towards the tail end of my stay. But he's gonna stay in Madrid. So you can find him. You guys have been on the phone texting him. Yeah. Okay. Good for you. So he's staying in Madrid. And I'm going back there. There's a lot of people moving to Madrid really is incredible. All right, so I'm moving to Madrid. You gotta come to Madrid at least to visit. How long can I stay with you if I'm just visiting? Sorry, I really had to burp. Wow. Yeah, really seemed like that was a response to my question. As you can stay as long as I burp for the length of my book. I feel like that could be 30 seconds or less. You can stay as long as you want for you to fall in love with Madrid. I totally would. It's a place I want to visit. So that's on the what what You're top of the list Greek Greece, Greece, I've been to Greece, you have been, yeah, Athens for a length of time. You know, it was a real interesting way that I got there. I got hired. It was kind of like an educational project. Okay, and I got hired with two other guys. Ian's eons ago to play high school students. You know how you know people in their 20s and 30s getting hired to play pie so you don't have to explain I get it and it was all about these three students traveling through certain places in Europe and as we traveled we educated people on the places. So that took us through Italy, and then Greece and we ended up in Patras which is a little town that I did not know about that you can take a ferry from Brindisi in Italy, Tabata, and when we got there was fucking carnival. I was like, oh, man, this is amazing. And then we went up to Greece, to Greece to Athens. And that was pretty fucking cool. How long were you up there? In Greece itself? We might have been a week no more than a week, between the two places. I thought you were gonna say a couple of days a week is awesome. Yeah. I think just just little short of a week. Because you know, we were on a schedule, we were shooting. So we were like, boom, boom, boom, on a schedule. And you're getting paid to be out there. We were getting paid to be out what a life. That's bullshit. You know, act. Our sense is paid to hotels pay. Yeah, I remember this one night. I don't remember all the details. But I remember when in Italy. We were not supposed to be going out late. And me and these two other guys knock out? Sure. While the producer slept. And we snuck out for a night on the town. It was great and got away with it. You know, and that's Europe has that magic? I don't know how to explain it. It has that fucking magic. You've been to Burning Man for as long as I can remember. I've always seen the pictures in social media. And you've always told me about it. Yeah. And the one thing I love about your pictures there is that you are involved. You're always wearing the cool costumes. And you look like oh, wow, you look like a barrier, a brochure of what Burning Man should be. So I'm wondering as much fun as I see you having? What's the amount of fun you're not having? Do you have any regrets or embarrassments from being out there? No regrets. Okay, but it's harsh environment. In what way? Dude, first of all, you're in a desert where nothing lives. It's like inhabitable? Surely, yeah. And it's characterized by this dusty powder we call Playa dust. That's very soft, but it's very alkaline. And that starts kind of corroding, it thinks it is very, it dries things from your skin to the bikes to everything gets in your lungs, I would imagine your lungs, so you have to wear a mask. Wow. So sometimes we have these things called wideouts, which is like a dust storm. It's like a snow almost. And when it gets really bad, you can't see past your hand. And that's when you go What the fuck am I doing here? Why do I do this? Because it's miserable at that moment. It's miserable. And it's difficult. And it's a little scary, but it's part of the fun. And it really kind of makes you stronger mentally because now you're like, Well, I got to survive. Yeah. So what do you mean? You mean, there is a sense that I'm in trouble here? If you're not prepared? You could be in trouble. And how are you? How could you not be prepared? What can you do to prepare for you? If you're you're not prepared? If you don't have LED lights on your body, and people can't see you can get run over? Oh, wow. You're not prepared if you don't have goggles, if you don't have a mask, if you don't have a camo pack with water. So you're constantly carrying some shoes. You've got a backpack of all this stuff. For the just in case. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Do you think most people are prepared like that? Yeah. Very few people I've seen and yeah, most people are because they know, it's, it's not. It's no joke. So those are the not fun moments that you're like, Oh, wow. Okay. All right, I forgot. And there's not enough of those moments that you would think I don't want to come back here again. No. I think there's more of the amazing moments that you're like, This is why I put up with the shit. This is why I do this and end up with a tank full of dust. Take a moment to think about this just for a second. But what are some of those amazing moments that you can share with me? From conversations with people, it's the people once they walk in through those gates, it's like they change for the better. Yeah, that's why they call Bernie man, a social experiment. And it really is it's not like a festival. Okay? It's not like a Like coachhouse Music Festival, no, police No, not even close. It really is a social experiment. So some of those rewarding moments are the people you meet the encounters and interactions you have with those people, some being conversations, some been just moments in time or having a drink with them or doing something crazy with them. Getting on the art cars is always like a great experience. Because here are these like moving pieces of art that usually have a DJ. And you're just riding around this playa. And when you look out, it's like imagine the Disney light parade. Yeah, on steroids, mushrooms, and cocaine. Like, times 1000. And it's an ocean of lights and people. And you're like, Wow, this is fucking amazing. How are you moving about the Burning Man festival moving bikes. And you're going with by yourself? Are you walking around with other friends? You can do either. I mean, like, once you're there, you can either take off and ride solo, or you can go with friends or with a small group of friends. And there's establishing points that you're able to find your way back to wherever you're camping. You always know where your campus because the city, it's built like a city with addresses, like like streets and avenues. So you always know where your camp is, unless you have a really bad sense of direction. But you know, it's not also that kind of place where you can be on your way to see a friend and get sidetracked and a day later you show up. Or you went out in a group and some people kind of got lost. And that's okay, too. Do you think most people conduct themselves in a way that they would at home? Or do people drink too much and do too many drugs? I don't think anybody that goes to Burning Man conducts themselves the way they would at home. And what do I mean by that? And I mentioned a party way. Okay. I mean, in a party way, but also beyond that, meaning, yes. or so people who have super fucking blasted, you don't necessarily have to be blasted to have a great time at burning. But what I mean by them not acting like the way they act at home is whether they're blasted on drugs or not. I find that they become who they really want to be. Sure. It's like they have, you know, it's like studio 54 was like that. Studio 54 was known for that, which is why I'm always so fascinated by him. Like, I wish I would have been there. It was known to be this place where people felt very free. And you saw everything in anything. And it was so colorful and unique. Nobody looked the same. And Burning Man is a little like that. Where people really become they give themselves license to be who they really want to be. How many years have you gone? This was my fifth. And are you going to go again? I'm always gonna go unless there's something professional keeping me or some heavy reason to not make it that's how much I love it. Do you see your starts at Burning Man? Because my birthday is just a few days before. So that's to me. That's where my year starts. Good. Do you prepare for it before you go? Because you always have a bunch of different costumes. I do. I get my costumes online. And you know, I'm like, What am I gonna wear this year? Some are old costumes that I you know, refurbished refurbish or put on in a different way. Yeah, add or subtract. They're nice. They're always fun to look at. And I mean, you're equipped like my tent I've had already for this year's tent is done already. I gotta I gotta upgrade. But like your equipment, your you have had it now. So nobody's gonna see your tent because you're never gonna be in it. Oh, no, not true. Okay, not true. You know, you need rest, even if it's in the middle of the day. Well, you know what's funny is in any social media picture I see of Burning Man from anybody. Yeah. I never recall seeing where they live. I just thought nobody takes a picture. Right? Why not? If that's where they're at a lot. Yeah, right. It's just like home. It's not that you're there a lot. Yeah. But you do need a place to change into your fabulous outfits. You do need to sleep otherwise you won't last. There is a lot of nudity out there. Are you part of that? Sometimes? Yeah. Yeah. I don't necessarily like to walk around the in deep Playa with no bottoms. Some people do that. But a lot of topless or just pasties. And within my camp, we are campus like an acro yoga dancers kind of camp. So within our camp, there's definitely a lot of nudity and we feel very comfortable. We had open communal showers, and nobody's staring at you in the wrong way or in the wrong place. So yeah, within our camp, there's a lot of what an amazing sense of freedom for that. That's good for you. It's great. Yeah, it's great to be able to see people behave themselves. All around fucking nudity. It's like, Oh, my God, Jesus, Lord, different world, though it's hard to get I appreciate what you're saying. But at the same time, it's like we're so used to having been embarrassed by nudity. Yeah. That anyway, as you see somebody nude, it's like, Oh, look. I mean, I wouldn't do a walking down Hollywood Boulevard correct granted, of course, which is why it makes this place so special to it's like, oh, we can go to a place where it's okay. Right. And people don't have to be weird about it. Good. It's wonderful. It's very good. You Were you always this free? Or did that come at a certain point in your adulthood? No, I think that came a little later. I think the seeds of that were always there. But maybe I didn't have the right context. And Burning Man definitely provided that context. It just like lit the fire. It turned on that Jean. Nice. Did you feel it when it happened? Totally. Yeah. What a great feeling. Yeah. And when I got there, I was like, Oh, I'm home. I always call it home. It's like, we're home. So it costs a lot of money, Bertie, man, it can I mean, the ticket is like something like 400 something dollars, then they also have low income tickets, where you can apply and explain, explain your financial situation, whatever, whatever. And you may be awarded a lower income ticket. And then there's the situation of the camps, like you can either camp with a camp be affiliated with a camp that could have anything from a decent camp fee to what we call the turnkey camps for bougie people who want to walk into a camp where everything's set and ready to go, and they pay something like 10,000 Yeah, sounds awesome. You know, everything's fair. Yeah. And you have people who go totally rogue. Yeah. And then there's an area for them. For people who want to camp rug. Is there do either like an RV? That's what I was gonna say. Or just a tent? Or you know, because I don't camp I, Irv RVs are great for burning them. In fact, I think next year, I'm gonna do an RV. Which I can park within my camp. Do you can do a tent, you can do an RV. Or you can do a Europe that would seem like a tissue to really add up. You know, it's a pain in the butt to build it. Yeah, I'm not into that. I just want to, I can be a little bougie. If you do build a riot, if you build it, they will come. Nevermind, people will come to your tent. Do you? Do you ever wonder, I think I think some of all all of us do as we get older and we're not married. Do you ever wonder? Damn, am I ever gonna get married? Yeah, and I still want to get married. I just don't know if it's going to be like a traditional marriage on paper or if it's going to be more of like a spiritual marriage where we just have like a spiritual ceremony, but there is not the legality of it. Meaning at some point you do if you did get married, there would seem to be some sort of entailment to it. You're not just going to be Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell living together? Yeah, no, I would like it to have some kind of presentation in society where we acknowledge Oh, wow, yeah. Why would you like that? Think there's something romantic about it. Fairy Tale ish about it. But I think there's also something if you think going back to Burning Man, again, which is a very tribal type of event. If you think about tribe and society, it is really nice to cement that commitment or that love in public and say I love this person, and I want to be with this person. That's why it doesn't have to be like an expensive wedding. But to to if I mean, if you want to go that route, that's fine, too. I'm not putting it just because it's expensive doesn't mean it doesn't have soul. That's the person's choice. But to declare that in front of a group of friends is kind of nice. And to have them celebrate with you. That joy is kind of nice. It is nice. Only thing I would say to what you were saying about the cost is for me, whenever I see somebody going above and beyond on their wedding, and knowing that their finances don't fit that sort of thing. I just it's just like, I feel so bad because I'm like you could be doing so much more free to benefit your future than having this over the top wedding. Sure. That probably isn't even yours. You're probably their parents are probably paying for it. Yeah. Anyway, that's just my nonsense. That's to say, I mean, like if if you can afford it, or then by all means, you know, it's like some of those weddings are a lot of fun and they make for great pictures. One of the things I feel like I got from your answer is you don't need that. Yeah, you're you're not married but I don't need to be married yet. I don't need to but I feel like I'm ready for I feel like I'm after a few failed relationships that kind of wasted my time. Because of course you always learn something but like, I mean, it's okay to say that was a fucking waste of time. Yeah. Especially the last one. I feel like I'm ready for. I'm ready for like that guy who's gonna be like my he's going to be power couple with me. Or who's going to be like that is gonna be my I don't know my partner in crime my main my a lot of things. I don't need him to be everything for me, but who's gonna be that person? I'm like, Yeah, it's so weird, Jen, because I don't know if you feel the same way. But what you just said, I've met so many women that I thought, yeah, I'm digging you. I get this. We are clicking. And then it's like, oh, no, you weren't it. Now you're gone? I don't know. I just feel like we never really know until the end of the day. And even that end of the day, you don't know when that day is going to come? I hopefully that makes sense. Because it makes sense in my head. But I realized that it may be confusing. I'm just saying sometimes you just we think we found that person and realize that's not that person. Yeah, and the unfortunate part is that, as you just said, you don't really know until you go through it. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, that kind of happened in my last relationship. I'm like, Ah, this is it. And then I was like, No, that is not it at all. How long did that take? I want to say for me to really realize this is not it. It took a minute. It took like, two and a half years. Yeah. Because even though I saw certain signs at the beginning, I'm the kind of person that always wants to give the person an opportunity and give myself an opportunity within that circumstance. I want to maybe be like, I was wrong, or I wasn't so asserted, or there was room for improvement, or growth or difference or whatever. Yeah. But sometimes you go, Oh, wow, those signs that I saw at the beginning, actually, were right, or they didn't really change or they became an issue later. There were those little flags that you're like, oh, that that ended up becoming a real issue. It's one of those things that for me, as I've gotten older and started delved more into my self care, those red flags that we always I used to think the same as yours, like, Ah, let me let's just keep going. And we'll see what happens with that. It's like now those red flags are. Yeah, they're there for a reason. Yeah. Boo. Yeah. Boohoo? It sucks. But yeah, we can and then cuz also, you're like, Well, nobody's perfect. So it's like, the moment you see a flag, you're like, What do I do? I cut it off, I run away. You know, like, you can't do that either. Because then you're never giving yourself an opportunity. If I were to do that, every time I see a sign of something, I wouldn't even date anybody. That's very, it's a very good point. It's a fucking mindfuck. Yeah. So I don't know. I don't have it, figure it out. But figure it out. We're all waiting for the answer. He says, Good, Lord. We're all waiting for the wedding right now. I haven't figured it out. But in in the meantime, can you say I do like like, you're getting married, but in Espanol, please. Ooh, that would? How would I say that in Spanish? To say, if someone were to propose to me, no, no. Do you take so and so to be your lawfully wedded husband? See the demo? I take I take it. Good. All right. But we'll see. We'll see what's been brings. I don't know what's behind that little eye that mischievous eye you dismayed? You've got something up your sleeve and Spain. I do wonder if I'm like, I need to stop dating American men. Maybe I need to try something else. I could see you with more international flair. Yeah, I do. So two dozen. A Spanish guy but some international person. Somebody that matches you. Someone that has travelled a lot. Someone that has an international feel and understanding. You've been dating the gringos thus far in America. My last two my last three relationships were American. Yeah. And American Americans who had not traveled much. They're not a department. The last one. I mean, my last boyfriend was from Hawaii. Yeah. And had only been in Hawaii, California, I think New Orleans shortly and New York when he was 19 for like a few days. I mean, this guy had not traveled at all. That was hard. I think that eventually we came not because it's a problem for me that you haven't seen the world but then that international field is not there and I there is a way of looking at The world in a way of maneuvering yourself in the world that when you have that kind of worldly experience or whatever you've seen, you just see things differently. When you have that. I do, I was lucky enough to have traveled a lot when I was little with my grandparents took me many places. Then I also went to Boston University, which is a very well known University for his international crowd. Okay. So all my friends were International, a lot of I had a lot of Arab friends, Turkish, Japanese, Lebanese, Lebanese, Saudi friends, plus Americans, some Latin, so I was around a lot of international people all the time and love to that. I'd love to see your parents stay together. Now my parents divorced bear when I was barely a year old that should did not last. Did you have a relationship with your parents once they separated? Not with my father, my father kind of went MIA. That's a sad story. He's gone and gone. Never saw him after. I saw him for the first time late, much later, as an adult as a young adult. And that didn't really go anywhere. And it's like, I guess he never really wanted a relationship with me. And that fucked with me for a long time, because I didn't know why I was like, What's wrong with me? Sure. Of course. Well, how old? Were you at the reunion there? I must have been like 2425. And he who put that together? I sought him out? And he said, No. He said, sure. I'll meet with you. And when you guys met, did he seem to be receptive to Was he happy to see you? I'll tell you how it happened. It I found he's a dentist. And I found I because when I was little, they always told me we, you know, your father kind of went MIA and we tried to track him down until we just got tired of tracking him down. There was this theory that he had left to Europe kind of running away from his responsibilities for a while, but because my grandfather was very well off at the time. He's like, we don't need him, fuck him, whatever. Later, when I got the bug of like, I need to meet my father. I just went to the fucking Yellow Pages. Simple. None of this deep registry.com D registry and eventually I found him. And long story short, I showed up at his practice. Wow, New York. And I knocked on the door. And the student opened the door. And I recognized him from pictures. And he said, Hi. And I said, I'm looking for John Capriccio. And he said, That would be me and who may you be? And I said I'm your daughter. It was like a fucking movie. And he just like, you know, he was like, taken aback. But at the same time, this dude is a very sort of cold, non emotion do even though he's Italian does not show emotion. So for something like that to happen and not be totally like, losing it or like off your rocker. He kept it cool and scientific and collected and cold. Like, wow, I am not your offspring. But he was at work. He was at work, but it was I caught I seem to have caught him at the end of the day. From what I remember. Because there was not there was nobody there anymore. It's almost like I caught him almost Oh, on the way out. Not a patient not a nurse's. No, no. Okay, so he should have been able to react. Yeah, he should have been free to react. Yeah. Which was really strange. So we had a conversation. And, you know, I don't want to get into all the details. But it's almost like he acted like he hadn't. He hadn't seen me in three years. I was like, You're so fucking weird. Like I had just gone off to college, and came and come back. But he hadn't seen us and he had never said I was maybe 20. Yeah. Did you leave that meeting? feeling empty. I left that meeting feeling a little confused, but victorious that I had found him. Sure. And then he did take me to dinner to meet some of the family members shortly after, okay. And then after that is when he said he was going to come pick me up again and seek me out and he just never showed again. It's like he abandoned me again. Did that hurt? Yeah, of course. Because I again, I couldn't understand why. You know, Psych. Was my audition mad, Lucky. Like that. Everything's in Audition. Do you? You make you make me think a question I always like to ask people is Do you cry? How often and when was the last time you cried? Oh, yeah, I cry often. I feel like you have to if you want to be seen, and if you don't want your body to get go haywire. Yeah. Because the Body Keeps the Score if there's actually a book called The Body Keeps the Score, you know? Yeah, I like the body will remember like, it'll if you don't get that shit out, like you will have health issues. Do you cry? No, then over the simplest things are now it's got to be sizable. I think it's got to be sizable, unless I'm super stressed than any little thing could make me you know, a little ungrounded. But that would be if I'm going through something already. Or when I'm super stressed about something. It's weird because I rarely cry over something sizable. But if something the truth hits me, if somebody if I'm watching America's Got Talent, which I do, and they tell me some inspiring story about this, and that and the other, I'll be out. Or if somebody gives a great performance, and I see the truth in it, I don't care if it's sucks, or if it's great. I'll be balling. That's interesting. That's the bigger things you kind of keep it together more. Yeah, I think there's a lot of things were I always I come from a sense of a place of jobs, where I was always doing some sort of security work. Sure. And so I'm always prepared. Right? And so that's why I think sometimes the big things, I'm more in control, but those little things that touched my heart. What do you think is the the one emotion or concept that hits you? The hardest? Where you like, lose it? Like, truth? Truth? Interesting. Like, for example, for me, it's abandonment, obviously. Oh, wow. Any kind of that's why I've always had a dream of adopting and I pick up stray dogs all the time. Because I abandonment for me, it's like a no, no. Yeah. And it hurts me. Nobody should be abandoned. Is there any protective Source within you to thwart against that? Are you do you have a wall up? To protect me from the pain of abandonment, not from the pain of abandonment from I'm not going to put myself in a position to be abandoned? I mean, sure, I'm sure. Yeah. Because in a way, why would I want to put myself in a position to be? Well, nobody would and I don't mean to don't want to break it down. If but if it's not necessary, but I'm just saying, because you because it affected you so bad about being abandoned? You're in a position now is like, Wow, that guy seems like he may abandon me. So I'm not gonna give him the time. I'm done with that guy. Even though he was doing nothing about abandoning you. I think, yeah, there might be a little bit of that. Or I'm always my radar might be up as in like, are they going to leave or, but I'm cured. I feel like I've gotten to a point where it's not like a big fear, in the sense where I'm not chronically being like, Oh, my God, I have abandonment issues. And I'm gonna manifest this all over the place, right. But, and maybe that's why I because I'm so independent. Like, if shit happens, I have myself. If people leave, I have myself. You know, all you need, which is all you need. And I think that's a healthy way of handling, find your happiness, you're going to be fine no matter what. But I do feel that if they're seeing if there's, I feel like I've I've gotten to know people, both from my acting training and my job as a personal trainer, I've had to observe people a lot. And I do feel that, you know, loyalty is hard to come. So in some way, people are always going to abandon ship in some way for some reason. Yeah. So even though I don't try to be fearful about that, or manifested, I am aware that human beings can be like that. Yeah, they'll even abandon themselves. What do you mean by that? They will betray themselves, they will abandon themselves by not whether it's not caring for themselves enough or being dishonest with themselves or giving up on themselves? Yeah. I can see that, you know? Yeah. It's weird, because there's so many times for yourself, I can see where it's difficult. There comes a time when anybody gets close to say, the sense of suicide or just deep depression. It's easier at that point, to kind of abandon yourself whether you want to or not, yeah, the part that always kills me, is when it's a friend of any sense that abandons you without and I'm talking. I've talked about this before, so but whatever. Ghosting, you know, yeah, I hate the ghosting thing. And I don't mean relationships. I mean, simple like, you've got a friend if you had me, and you kept calling me and I didn't call you back. Yeah, what the fuck Michael, I think that's bullshit. I hate ghosting. I mean, one thing is, hey, this situation has gotten to a point where I have to maybe pull away and not engage for safety reasons. That's different. But fucking ghosting. What the fuck is that? I mean, it's hateful. It is, really is it's bullshit. It's really a bad habit. And people are doing it in business. They're doing it in friendships, they're doing it in relationships, it's become we've accepted it like it's something good and normal. And it's not people. It's not. It's fucking bullshit. Yeah, I feel very passionate about Yeah, it's unnecessary. It's unnecessary. It's such a cowardly way of living. It is. It's a very, it's a very passive, aggressive, cowardly way of living. But because now we can swipe this way, or whatever, or just shut it off or not. And it's like, wow, less and less. People are really going to lose all ability to confront life. They have and confrontation for some reason has such a bad connotation. It's like no, con front front means front, giving it the front, right, like, giving face looking forward to address something. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. People think confrontation is war. No, that's a misconception. And especially since there's so much that can be done before you actually ghost I think in most people's scenarios, people ghost before they realize no if you just had this confrontation, told them why you're thinking about ghosting them. You probably would still be friends. Yeah. Just so they chickenshit immediately, which I find so weak. And so pathetic. Yeah, I don't like it. But yeah, do you want to put on a cape and you me will be like they're super twins will be this will go around combating ghosting. Ghosting people. And it will go will be the Ghostbusters there. Oh my god. So you do voiceovers on and you don't do comedy? I definitely not comedy. I admire those people that do comedy. Oh my god. Why? Because that's fucking rough to stand there. Yeah. And try to make people laugh, which I know is not what they're thinking about. They're thinking about it. Which is even more scary, because they're thinking about truth and sharing their truth and sharing who they really are. Which is even more scary in that kind of scenario. Oh, my God, I have so much respect for standard. Comedians, can I ask you we ever considered give it a shot? Yeah. You don't thought about it? And I feel like I would love to, but I don't know that I would have the balls. Okay. So I will quickly share with myself because I want to put this back on you. I did it. I took the class really went up at the improv. And it was awesome. It was awesome. Now, it's something I'd always wanted to do. I wasn't necessarily afraid of it. But it's always takes a lot of nerves to get up on stage like that. But I would tell you that if it's ever something you wanted to do, you should do it. And it's going to help you immensely as an actor as any sort of performance. Art. I have done improv, which I really like right, love that. I did Groundlings Yeah. Oh, my God, I found very hard, but I had a blast. And I did UCB which I really love. Yeah. And then, you know, at the end of at the end of the course, it always ends with the performance. Right. And that was awesome. That's awesome. That's the same thing that's kind of like in that world. But to stand solo in front of a mic and ooh, here's my thoughts. Yeah, rough. I have a lot of admiration for stand up comedians, and I had a handful of friends here who were great stand up comedians who now have left la that I really always admired. I'm like, Wow, you guys. Am I one of those great stand up. Comedians. I didn't know you were a stand up comedian. Yeah, but now that you know when you say yeah, it's been a great friend and I admire you. Yes. I don't think that's the same. You're not saying the same thing. Nevermind. Now that I know you do stand up. Yeah, I respect you even more. Now like, Oh, shit. I'm not buying it. Yeah, I'm not buying it. I'm not crying right now. You're not making me cry. Don't cry. All right. I won't cry. No, but I didn't know you do that. I would love it. Don't do it. Oh, I did it. The one time when I did this school. Then I did it three more times. So four times total. And all the cool places Comedy Store and blah, blah, blah. You're brave. I am brave man. But at the end of the day, I was like, Yeah, I don't want to keep putting myself through this. Now, did you did you? How do you feel when you were up there? Like did you were you nervous? Was your mind ever like oh my god and make people laugh or like, you know, that's great question out loud. Laughing enough there. Here's the thing, because even the most experienced comedians have confessed to me. They're like, you know, today people were doing what Howard crowd they were not laughing. It's different to them. Yeah. Well, we do know that I do know from following comedians that nowadays, the audience is different. It's so PC, that it's tough. Yeah. So I get that. But back when I did it back in like 2008 was pre PC two. Yes. It was pre PG 13. I was talking about sacks and Baba Baba. Yeah. And but at the time I was doing, you know, it was right in the heart of doing commercial casting. And so as you well know, whenever you guys would come in for the audition, I would bring you in the room. Yeah. And I'd give this big old explanation. Yeah. And I'd always try to be funny while I'm doing it. Yeah. So it was easy. It was the same thing. It was a transference of that to go up. So that first thing I did at the, with the school was great. I did that at the improv. The fucking house went nuts. I was brilliant. Then the next one was a comedy store. And by the nature of how it works, which I won't bore you with. I didn't go up. I was told to be there at 730. I went up at like, 215. Wow. And you know, I could literally count how many people were in there. And while I was on stage, I was like, now I'm done. I'm ready to just go home. I don't even want to finish the set. And I don't think I did. I think I just truncated it and got the hell out of there. Wow. So there's all those variables that come into play, but but as far as being nervous and whatnot, never nervous, but definitely that sense of, Well, this is no fun. If there's only gonna if I had to wait this long, and there's nobody here. Yeah. Wow, you, I commend you. I don't think I have the balls you did. You did? Improv. I did improv. But I still I'm telling you stand up comedy is different. Well, it wasn't. Maybe I'm thinking about it differently. Maybe I shouldn't be thinking about it differently. I will say this, it is different. It's two different beasts. You got a bunch of people around you when you're doing improv you're working off of people. Yeah. So you definitely have more of a secure cord solo up there. Like you're telling your shit. There's, it's a different beast to do. different beast. Yep. You and I had met back in the day we were doing we were doing a photo session. Yeah. And I remember thinking at the time, you know, I'm impressed. There's not too often that I'm kind of intimidated by somebody. And I remember feeling intimidated. And I don't know if at the time that was a facade of who you were trying to present yourself to be okay. Or who that's exactly who you were, I don't know. But you seem softer, in the best way. Not like in a woman female, right, just as a human being now. Now you do. And I'm wondering, is that something that you see to be true? Is there been? Have you transformed in any way to something softer? Or is that I might just seen something different? Are you looking to transform? Interesting. So I think maybe what you mean by softer is, I think before because I've always had to survive in some way. I had more of a tough persona all the time. And now it's not that that person has gone away at all, but now I'm not as afraid to be just chill sometimes are more vulnerable, or softer, in a way, like more, less intimidating. But I also don't want to have to worry about not intimidating people. Say that again. I also don't have to, I don't want to have to worry about not intimidating people. Like if they're intimidated by me. That's their problem. Got it. But I did feel like I was like Maybe is there a reason why I'm being tough woman all the time, and I wasn't doing it on purpose necessarily. But I think it was my fighter. You know, I just felt like I had to fight everything or I had to, you know, fend for myself. Now, I feel because I feel that people perceive that maybe there's something a little soft drapey is because I feel more taken care of by the universe. As in like ooh, now the stars are aligned there's something actually carrying me through which in a way will allow me to fully transform into who I've always wanted to be like, who I already have been being but full on with no reservations, no hesitation, more into that more into my artist self more into my freaky self or like, you know, some people feel I'm like such a nice person, which I am, but there's a edgier side of me as well. That doesn't always come out. And some people catch it. Some people don't not be afraid to explore all those personal honors and put them out there. You know, and I would contend that you said the universe but I see it's you that's the self care that you do. You've become happier in your heart and soul that has allowed you to, to just open yourself up to say, hey, you know what? I don't need to put on this wall anymore of intimidating you. You're either gonna get me or you don't. I'm cool. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Find me intimidating, which is funny, because you're a badass bitch. That's why, even though I'm softer, some people still find me intimidating for different reasons. Yeah. Some people when they see the more glamorous part of me that intimidates them. Some people are more intimidated by the tough girl. It's depends who they are. They're intimidated by different things. Does that make you feel any way when they feel that way? About you? Yeah, that's a great question. It makes me feel. I think there's a part of me that feels kind of good about it. But there's a part of me that also feel sad, because it makes me feel lonely. And I'm like, Oh, you're not getting me or you get part of me or or, or I'm sad that this part of me intimidates you some way but I can't do anything about that. Because it's whatever is going on with you or or nothing's going on with you. It is just the chemistry. It is who I am. And maybe that has a certain kind of reaction in you or not, or whatever. So there's sometimes nothing to do about it. There's nothing that you not nobody needs to do about it's unfortunately true because you hit the nail on the head. It really is more about them. And at the same time, it's like well, can I be doing anything different? Yeah, I guess I could be a little bit here but within reason because you don't want to change your you could tweak here and we're talking over me by the way. I'm sorry. I'm just kidding. Look, if you guys missed it, she just threw out one of those great big Capriccio smiles. It was awesome. She I'm sorry. Oh, raise my hand. No, no, she's soft into submissive? Yes, lady, lady in the black. She raised her hand. No, that's the thing is we cannot change who we are. Listen, I always say listen, if you're a jerk, please try to recognize it take accountability for it. And and correct that because nobody wants that. Sure. But if you're like, look, this is who I am. I'm not meaning to come across. Here's the thing. We cannot just say like a lot of people will be fond of saying, I'm just keeping it real. No, you're not. You're just being a jerk. But if you want to speak honestly and forthrightly and constructively, and people are still being put off by that. Well, okay. That's kind of on them. Yeah. Yeah. Because to, to, again, going back to the PC thing, how much do you censor yourself or manipulate yourself to to try to accommodate other people Hence, what we started some of this conversation with of like, oh, some people have an issue with they perceive me as aggressive when I'm too direct, or my fiery Latina is like, okay, look, I can be aware of that I can tone it, I can see if there's something happening within me that's making it too much. Or am I I'm going overboard. But there's gonna be a limit to how much I tailor that because this is who I am. And if you also have a problem with that, then we're not a good match. Right? You know, I cannot change myself completely to make you feel comfortable. And I go where people get me. You have to, there's only so much we can do. Yeah, yeah. Before you actually betray yourself and become someone you're not well and then you kind of seem like you are giving me a sense of are you looking to transform even further who you are now? Are you happy with no, I think I want to go even further. I feel like there's more to explore and more that can be out there. With less reservation. You think you still have reservation and you're in who you are? Maybe about certain things or or more like certain things about me that I'm just discovering that I'm like, why want to put that out there? I think you're very free spirited. I think you have a lot of love to share. I do. That's true. I think you're faced here then you need to be and I wish you would shut the fuck up as far as that goes. Just kidding. The look she just gave me like she just gave it don't go there. Fine, I'm afraid. Can't you see I'm not looking at you anymore. He's looking off to the side now guys should have not said that. No, you have everything. You have a lot of great things about you and and I do wish the best for you because you give that back out. You give that hope back out to other people. And I like that about you. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah, if there's one thing I want to do is inspire people. Whether it's directly or just by being and living my dreams and hopefully be an inspiration to someone who might be trying to do the same, dude. However, I can be an inspiration And I would love that. That's awesome. Yeah, that's the best we can do for each other, we inspire each other and elevate each other. And sometimes you don't have to do it by saving people. Like, that's not my thing. You don't save anybody. Or, but you can just do it by being living your truth. And then you'll inspire people. That's one of my things is I always try to as much as I've improved or transformed in the last few years. And somebody will ask, you know, when people ask for advice, they don't really want the advice. They just want to talk. Yeah. And that's taken me a long time to learn as I'm trying to shove down their their heads. Here's this advice, take it. And it's like, oh, no, they just want to talk Shut up. They just want to vent. They want to be heard. So understandable. Anyway, I will be at your place in Madrid, probably in say, November battery. Well, let me arrive first. Let's see when I get there. It's all going to depend on my visa. All right, so then depend on that consulate. When I come though, I'm gonna be there for probably four months minimum. Yeah, yeah. It's gonna be tough. No, I think I'm gonna kick you out. Before that. I thought I said, you said I had as much time as whatever it took. I'm kidding. Oh, wow. I don't know what to do with this now. How much time do I have to stay with you? You better make it a good number because I'm not coming for two weeks. Just get there. Stop busting my balls. Just get there. All right. Do me a favor. Tell Andrew to take us out to Andrew. Who's Andrew? Just say Andrew, take us out. Andrew, take us out. All right, you guys. Thanks for coming out. That was awesome. We're going to be back in a couple of weeks. So hopefully you'll join us then. And if you feel so inclined, please leave a positive review on any of your favorite platforms. And if you didn't like us, of course, this is Xavier McGillicuddy signing out for today. It's Michael Vieyra. You knucklehead See you later