Your Body Chooses Safety Before Pregnancy And Here Is How To Help It a Great Discussion with Tammy Shemesh

We talk with fertility nutritionist Tammy Shemesh about why disordered eating and food anxiety are far more common in fertility treatment than most people realize, and how that hidden stress can disrupt hormones and cycle health. We share a more compassionate path that blends evidence-based fertility nutrition with nervous system safety, cycle awareness, and real pleasure in eating.
• the research on disordered eating in fertility treatment and why it often goes unspoken
• what disordered eating can look like beyond clinical diagnoses, including restriction, orthorexia, binge cycles and rigid rules
• how chronic stress shifts the body into survival mode and disrupts ovulation, progesterone and thyroid function
• the link between gut health, inflammation, estrogen clearance and common fertility conditions like PCOS, endometriosis and fibroids
• feminine energy as receptivity, rest and embodiment, and how diet culture pushes control and distrust
• the four menstrual cycle phases and how energy, mood and nutrition needs can change across the month
• three practical steps to rebuild trust with food and your body, starting today
• resources mentioned, including Brene Brown’s Atlas Of The Heart

Food can look “perfect” on paper and still feel like a war in your head. If you have ever followed fertility diets, tracked every bite, or swung between restriction and emotional eating while trying to conceive, you are not alone and you are not broken. Liz sits down with clinical nutritionist and certified fertility nutritionist Tammy Shemesh to talk about the quiet reality that many people bring disordered eating patterns into fertility treatment and often never mention it to their doctor, even though it can meaningfully impact hormones, cycle regularity, and stress levels.

We unpack what disordered eating can look like beyond a formal diagnosis: chronic dieting, orthorexia and clean eating fixation, rigid food rules, binge cycles, and using food for control when fertility feels out of control. Tammy explains how chronic stress and food anxiety keep the nervous system in fight or flight, pulling resources away from reproduction. We connect the dots between cortisol, progesterone, ovulation signaling, thyroid function, estrogen clearance, inflammation, and gut microbiome health, and why “more willpower” is not the solution.

You will also hear a powerful reframe around feminine energy as receptivity, intuition, rest, and cyclical living, plus a simple guide to the four phases of the menstrual cycle and what each phase tends to need. Tammy shares three practical steps you can start now: add one act of genuine nourishment and pleasure daily, track your cycle as body reconnection, and honor what your current phase asks for, especially rest. If you want a calmer, more sustainable approach to fertility nutrition that supports both body and mind, this conversation is for you.

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And if you'd like to connect or share your story, find us on Instagram and Facebook at Australian Fertility Summit.

Tammy Shemesh details;

website - http://www.tammyshemesh.com

email - http://www.tammyshemesh.com

socials;

https://www.instagram.com/tammyshemesh.nutritionist
 https://www.facebook.com/tammy.shemesh

Transcript

Welcome To Home Of Fertility

SPEAKER_02 0:58

Welcome to the Home of Fertility, a space for real conversations and expert insights about fertility, healing, and creating family. I'm Liz Walton.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

And I'm Helen Z. We are two mums who've walked this path and are passionate about supporting you on your journey, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

We talk about it all. Fertility treatment, holistic support, relationship, mindset, and the emotional hide.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Because sometimes the missing piece lies in someone else's story, in the quiet wisdom of the body, or in a breakthrough that's finally made for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

We are so glad you are here. Let's dive in.

Meet Tammy And Her Work

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Hello, hello. Beautiful listeners out there and a wonderful hello to this next episode where I'm talking to a lovely lady called Tammy. Tammy, how are you?

SPEAKER_04 2:04

I'm very well, thank you. How are you doing, Liz?

SPEAKER_01 2:06

I am also good and I love it. I hear another British accent out there.

SPEAKER_04 2:12

That's right, that's right.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Whereabouts in Australia are you?

SPEAKER_04 2:16

I'm based in Sydney.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

In the eastern suburbs, yeah. Ah, lovely. That sounds very nice, Sydney. And how long have you been in Australia?

SPEAKER_04 2:26

About 12 years now.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Oh, now a good time.

SPEAKER_04 2:29

Yes, one time I've just gotten my citizenship.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Oh welcome to Australia.

SPEAKER_04 2:35

I'm Aussie now.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Yeah. So let me introduce you, Tammy, and um then we've got some rather yummy, meaty questions that we're going to chat about. And um I'm really looking forward to our podcast. So Tammy Shemesh, is that how you say your last name, Shamesh? Shemesh. Shamesh is a clinical nutritionist, certified fertility nutritionist, and eating psychology coach who supports women and couples through every stage of the reproductive journey from preconception to pregnancy and postpartum. With a deep focus on fertility, hormonal balance, microbiome health, Tammy combines evidence-based nutrition with holistic root cause approach to help her clients optimize their health and improve their chances of conception. She's known for her warm, compassionate, non-judgmental style, integrating clinical nutrition, lifestyle, medicine, and eating psychology to create personalized plans that address the underlying drivers of health challenges. Her work goes beyond symptom management, focusing on instead on identifying imbalances in areas such as hormones, gut health, inflammation, stress, nutrient status to restore the body and its natural balance to thrive. As a mother of two, Pammy brings both professional experience, lived experience to her practice, offering grounded practical support for the realities of pregnancy, postpartum recovery, and early motherhood. She's deeply passionate about empowering women with this knowledge, with tools and confidence to understand their body, their bodies, and take control of their fertility journey. I love this. Tammy's approach is rooted in the belief that fertility is not just about biology, but the interplay between nutrition, hormones, environment, and emotional well-being. So true. Through one-to-one consultations, functional testing, education, she brings her clients, move, she helps her clients to move from confusion overwhelm to clarity, confidence, and lasting health. Oh, Tammy, I love you. You are amazing. Thank you. And so, how long have you been doing the fertility nutrition?

SPEAKER_04 5:05

So I've actually been working um with women um since 2015, and more so in the fertility space within the last um four years. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Yeah. Ah, well, awesome. I'm I'm really excited for our conversation. And with this, um, we've got some a wonderful thing

The Hidden Eating Disorder Link

SPEAKER_01 5:27

to talk about. Because I know research papers have recently showed that nearly one in five women, they begin their fertility treatment um and they have a past, maybe they have a past current eating disorder, but none tell their doctors. So when you first come across this week research, I mean, what does what does this mean to you? What does it tell you? Um, I suppose, about what's really happening between the surface or underneath that surface of what so many women are going on on their fertility journey.

SPEAKER_04 5:59

Yeah, it's really interesting because as I just mentioned, before I started working in the fertility space, I was working with women who had disordered eating and body image challenges. Um and I also taught yoga in an inpatient um eating disorder clinic um for quite a few years.

SPEAKER_03 6:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:18

And I was drawn into that work after healing my own relationship with food and body. So hearing that statistic wasn't that surprising to me because I actually haven't met many women who don't have any challenges around food, for example, they haven't dieted. And all the women that I've worked with in the fertility space, um some kind of disordered pattern usually comes up. Um, but what is surprising to me is that it's still not something that doctors really ask about. Um there was a there was another study in 2022 that found that disordered eating pathology is found in up to 48% of women seeking fertility treatment. That's that's a pretty significant number. And another study found that 58% of women with irregular or absent periods were found to have some form of disordered eating.

SPEAKER_03 7:12

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 7:13

And in those cases, um, women with unexplained infertility, when they stopped restricting their food intake, when they started nourishing their bodies, their periods came back. And so that allowed for conception to happen naturally. Um, so really that's what this conversation is about. Um, when women are able to heal their relationship with food, when they restore genuine nourishment, listen to their bodies, begin to shift out of fear and control and shame, their hormones start to respond, the nervous system settles, the body begins to feel safe in a way that creates the right internal conditions for reproduction.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

And you know, I hear this, Tammy, because I had maybe not the most healthiest relationship with food. I had a, you know, experience in the past with sexual abuse, and so I ate to um I ate my emotions. And um it's something that really I had to look at, you know, before, you know, before, because I um and so I understand about when we nourish our body properly, it changes so much. So eating disorders, and I never really thought I had an eating disorder. I mean, I you know, but I I knew that my relationship with food wasn't healthy, if you see what I mean. Yes. So when we talk about eating disorders, you know, I suppose for us, it's like within the fertility space, we're not just talking about clinical eating disorders, are we? Because we um we're talking about something broader, maybe more common. Just if you could paint this picture of what eating disorders really look like for those people that may be on a fertility journey.

Disordered Eating Beyond Diagnoses

SPEAKER_04 8:55

Yeah, absolutely. It's it's really important to clarify um what I mean by disordered eating, because um, you know, clinical conditions like anorexia, bulimia, those patients would need to be under care of a doctor and a psychologist. Um, but disordered eating exists on a broader spectrum. So I'm talking about um chronic restrictive dieting and calorie counting, orthorexia, which is an obsessive focus on eating only clean or correct foods, and that includes fertility superfoods, which are you know all over Instagram, um, emotional eating, as you just mentioned, um, using food to manage those difficult emotions, grief, anxiety, or even the fertility journey itself, binge eating, um, large amounts of food in response to emotional triggers, yo-yo dieting, rigid food rules, a chronic inability to eat intuitively or knowing when to respond to hunger and fullness signals, and using food either through restriction or overconsumption as a way to feel in control when your life feels out of control. Um, so many women in the facility space all recognize themselves somewhere on um on that spectrum. And whether we're talking about restriction or emotional eating or anxiety, um, all these patterns have one thing in common. So they create a chronic stress picture in the body. And chronic stress is one of the most significant and underappreciated disruptors of reproductive health.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

Yeah, it creates such inflammation, doesn't it? And just, oh my goodness, this is a really interesting talk. Um, so as you describe like you know, disordered eating as a symptom for something deeper, um, it's a disconnection. I work a lot with the feminine and the masculine with a lot of my clients. So I I'm really intrigued in these questions. It's a disconnection from the feminine because the feminine the feminine is about us feeling good, you know, it's the more the being the doing, isn't it? That's right. So this is quite a profound reframe. So take us through this idea. What really does that mean to be disconnected from the feminine, like in a nutrition food

Feminine Energy And Food Control

SPEAKER_01 11:13

way? Yeah. And how does this disconnection find its way onto the plate? Yeah. And when we're on that fertility path, it's so important to nourish the self, love the self, feed the self. Why does that matter?

SPEAKER_04 11:30

Yeah. So I want to start um by saying that when we're using this term feminine energy, I'm not talking about being soft or passive or fitting into any cultural stereotype of what a woman should look or feel like. And I'm also not talking about something abstract or spiritual that only certain people feel they have access to.

SPEAKER_03 11:49

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:50

Feminine energy is something that lives in all of us, right? It's an innate quality.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:54

Um, and for women, it's the energetic and biological foundation of reproductive health. So um feminine energy is receptive, it's cyclical, it's embodied, and it means living in the body, not just the mind. So it's that part of us the intuitive um part that knows how to rest without guilt, it knows how to receive nourishment without conditions, how to feel and process emotions rather than suppress and override it. So it's the part of us that moves with the natural rhythms of life, the seasons, the cycles, the ebbs and flows. Um and knowing really in the fertility context, it's knowing how to be truly nourished. So when we talk about nourishment, not just physically, but emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. Um and there are two things that I see consistently driving this disconnection, this disconnection from the feminine. So the first is a lifetime of being rewarded for doing and achieving rather than resting and receiving. So we live in a world that's been built almost entirely around masculine energy. So linear productivity, constant output, logical thinking, that goal oriented orientation, um, you know, to be consistent, to be productive, to keep pushing through. And the qualities that are most fundamentally feminine are um rest, receptivity, emotional achievement, as I've said, intuition. Um, and these are usually undervalued, right? So um sometimes even penalized for being being that way. So women learn often from a really young age to suppress them, to override their emotions. Just recently I went to a talk for International Women's Day, and the speaker was sharing how you know it's just not appropriate to show vulnerability at work, and you know, something happens in the work that is emotional. She the women will all go to the toilet and cry. And I just felt, well, we've still got a really long way to go then for women to show up as women because we are more emotional.

SPEAKER_01 14:12

We are.

SPEAKER_04 14:13

And so, you know, in real life, this disconnect shows us the woman who can't sit still, the woman that um feels fills up every moment, feels guilty when she rests, um, that constant strive to do more, achieve more, be more. Um, and then the second part is that disconnection is really that diet culture, um, which is maybe more significant in the context of fertility, because diet culture is the most fundamental um feminine act there is, right? Nourish eating, nourishing the body. Um and diet culture turns that into a masculine exercise. So that's control, it's measurements, it's rules, it's performance. So that in itself is moving into masculine energy. And that diet culture teaches women from really young ages to distrust their bodies, to treat their appetite as a problem, um, to view the body as unintelligent, not trustworthy, um, something that needs to be corrected or kept in line. And so when a woman, when women are disconnected from their feminine, um, from that ability to receive, to trust, to be nourished, food stops being nourishment, right? It starts being something else entirely. Um, so for example, the woman who is rigidly following a fertility diet and wants to eat all the right things and is taking all the right supplements, um, she may have lost trust in her body.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:45

Um, she may be using control food as a way to control to feel safe. Um, and control is a masculine, masculine energy. Or, for example, the woman who sadly at the end of a two-week wait um finds out she hasn't conceived and then um uses food as an outlet um for those emotions and starts to overeat or binge, for example. Um, or the woman who has lost touch with hunger and fullness, and I see this really often, this is probably what I see the most, that's someone that just genuinely doesn't know when they're hungry, um and they've learned to override the body's wisdom. Yeah, yeah. My my teacher, my eating psychology teacher would always say that our relationship with food is often a reflection of our relationship to life, which is why I feel this work is um really, really profound. Um, because when we start to look at how our relationship with food mirrors other places, um that's where the healing work changes, that's where the deep work happens, changes happen.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

Wow, I feel like this is blowing my mind. Um I love how you have bought brought in the masculine, the feminine, masculine and feminine in with eating. And you're right, it should actually say apples and pears, you know, and it it's I don't mean it in any other way, but it is an energy, you know, like the doing and the being energy, isn't it? So um, and yeah, because I work a lot with the relationship with the body, because that was also part of my journey. So I'm I hear that, and I love the fact that we're bringing that into food and understanding, you know, when we are just doing, I've got to eat this and I've got to eat that, and and also, you know, wanting to do everything right, we do. It becomes not feminine, not the doing and the enjoying. It becomes it becomes too, you know, like you say, masculine, just just just too hard work, and it's so true. And we do or can do within this journey, which overtakes our body being and total, you know, we we override our own natural wisdom. So this is so true. I'm I'm just enjoying your words so much. So talking about the rhythm of life, you know, our cycle living.

Cycle Phases And What They Need

SPEAKER_01 18:22

Um what talk us through the four phrases of the cycle for you, um, what each one needs. Um, they're living with alignment and those rhythms where um how we can move with them instead of against them with our fertility.

SPEAKER_04 18:42

Yeah. So every woman who menstruates lives in a cycle. So not just the monthly rhythm of a period, but a rich, intelligent, four phase in a landscape. Um, that shifts her energy, her emotional world, her nutritional needs, and her hormonal environment from week to week. Really, that's the feminine energy. We're not linear like men. You know, it our hormones change every single week. And unfortunately, most women view their um menstrual cycle as an inconvenience. You know, it's like, I oh God, I've got my period again. Um, and it's not until they start thinking about fertility or having fertility struggles that they actually start thinking about it and looking a little deeper and then try and understand it. Um, but really our menstrual cycle is kind of like the fifth um vital sign. It's it's it's more, it's much more than just about conception. It really is about women's health. So I'll go through the four phases. So the first phase um is menstruation. So this is where estrogen and progesterone are at their lowest. And energy naturally turns inwards. So the body is asking for rest, for warmth, stillness, nourishment. And um, yeah, many women just push through this phase. You know, they'll feel some pain, they'll take some painkillers, they'll still maintain their full schedule, they'll still work out in the same way. Um, but it's really an invitation to um look within to create space for release, reflection, renewal. And from a fertility perspective, it's one of the most important times to listen. Um, it can be um, you know, for a woman on a fertility journey, it can be a really hard time of the month when they get the bleed. It's it can be the time where they actually allow themselves to grieve instead of pushing through and just continuing on. Um, if we think of the idea that emotions get stored in the body. So um it's a it can be a really beautiful time just to allow yourself to stop and grieve the fact that you're bleeding, if if um that's what's coming up for you. Um, the second phase is the follicular phase. Um, so estrogen begins to rise, follicles develop, and this is where energy, creativity, and optimism naturally increase. So it's the time for new beginnings. Um, you may eat a little bit lighter at this time, you might exercise a little bit harder at this time because energy has started to increase.

SPEAKER_03 21:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:20

The third phase is ovulation, and this is where oestrogen peaks and the LH surge triggers a release of an egg. And so energy and connection are at the highest. Um, so this is the most hormonally complex and sensitive phase of the cycle. And it's also um the one that's most vulnerable to disruption, bichronic stress, over exercise, and nutritional depletion.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 21:47

The fourth phase is the luteal phase, um, where progesterone rises to prepare the uterine lining for potential implantation. Energy begins to slow and turn inwards. So again, Um, you know, this like the week before the menstrual cycle, people say they feel more emotional and more tired. Yes, that is true. The body needs more warmth, it needs more rest, it needs more complex carbohydrates, nourishing foods, more emotional support. And so when we start to recognize these four phases, it becomes a monthly opportunity to actually understand what's happening within within your body and just to reconnect with yourself a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

Gosh, these things I knew when I was young and growing up, which is just so beautiful and powerful to have now. Um I love this, and it allows people to work with their body instead of against their body. You know, and I was one of those hated, hated when I'm menstruated, you know. I can get so I got so angry with myself, and a big turnaround for me was learning to love my body, love my system, love my it changed everything. So this is really powerful. Thank you so so much for bringing this out to this podcast.

SPEAKER_04 23:09

You're welcome. You know, we're talking about it in terms in the context of fertility, but I'd love this work to be taught in in schools with girls, you know, that's so that they don't get to the fertility stage and have to learn it then. They already know this stuff. And um, you know, the first period being a rite of passage and a celebration, and so it's not something that's feared and not something that's um, you know, unwanted, but actually it's it's a sign of um healthy womanhood.

SPEAKER_01 23:41

Absolutely, absolutely. If I had known this, um how it would have changed so much of my younger years. And I know my my daughter's only 10, and so that it will be coming up soon. And my my my passion is that she has a different understanding, yes, is which is more informed than I did myself. So, yes, bring it on in schools. I'm I'm I absolutely agree.

Stress Hormones And Fertility Shutdown

SPEAKER_01 24:06

So let's go now more into the science, um, because I think understanding what is actually happening to the body is very important to everyone. Can you walk us through what chronic stress, uh, maybe having a difficult relationship with food is is actually doing to our hormones? Um, the cortisol with stress, you know, the progesterone, the thyroid, that's another big area is the thyroid. Well, and then why the body in that state essentially says no to conception.

SPEAKER_04 24:41

Yeah. Yeah. So the nervous system has two primary states. Um, I'm sure many people know or have heard about them. So the sympathetic, the flight fight, which is the body's survival response, right? And then the parasympathetic, um, which is the rest of digest, which is where healing, restoration, and reproduction happen. And the thing to remember is that these two states can't be fully active at the same time. And so when the body perceives chronic threat, so whether that's emotional overwhelm, the stress of fertility, chronic food restriction, or just food anxiety or body shame, right? It doesn't differentiate. Um, it will always choose survival, it will always activate the sympathetic flight-fight response. Because the body has one primary job, it's to keep you alive. Um, and bringing in life into the world um is only possible once survival is uh safe, right? It's the the body's not prioritizing that. And so let's look at what this means hormonally. So the hypothalamus, which is the control center of the entire reproductive system, it begins directing its resources away from reproduction when that um sympathetic nervous system is dominated. So it reduces the hormonal signal that drives follicle development and triggers ovulation. And without that adequate signaling, that process becomes disrupted, irregular, or in significant cases stops altogether. Um, that's known as hypothalmic ammonrrhea. And that's really the body's way of saying, I don't have enough safety or resources to support a pregnancy right now. Okay. And cortisol doesn't just affect ovulation. Cortisol, um, when it's chronically elevated, it directly suppresses progesterone. And what happens is the body diverts the raw materials needed to make progesterone towards making cortisol instead. Because in survival mode, cortisol takes priority. And progesterone deficiency is a very common contributor to implantation failure and early pregnancy loss.

SPEAKER_03 26:56

Right.

SPEAKER_04 26:57

And it is frequently rooted in chronic stress. Um, so the thyroid, um, that's also deeply sensitive to both stress and nutritional restriction. It plays a role in every stage of um the reproductive process from follicle development through to embryo implantation. Um, and the chronic stress suppresses thyroid, it actually suppresses the thyroid function. And subclinical thyroid function, the kind that just sits below the threshold, can quietly and significantly undermine fertility in ways that are really easily missed. Um, and so when disordered eating patterns disrupt um any of those um hormones or even the gut microbiome or place strain on the liver function, then estrogen is not cleared efficiently. It starts to accumulate, and then estrogen imbalance is closely associated with endometriosis, fibroids, picos, which are um three of the most significant contributors to fertility challenges.

SPEAKER_03 28:05

Yeah, indeed.

SPEAKER_01 28:07

Yeah. Wow, that that's that's very interesting because I know, and I do say to my clients, you know, the body can either produce stress or it can produce the hormones for you know helping us to make the baby the baby. It can't do both. And so what I like about that is that's actually made that even more um understanding. And I'll I will use that actually within within explaining it to my clients in a deeper level. So I I love that, you know, the body can't do both, and it will always choose survival, you know. Um, which is really powerful. So learning to understand our body again is is key, absolutely key. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Three Steps To Reconnect With Food

SPEAKER_01 28:56

So, for for the women listening um right now, and they may recognize themselves in everything that we've talked about today, um, the control around food, um, the emotional eating, which I you know I remember having in the past, exhaustion, and you know, the fertility journey as well as life can do that to us, exhaustion, absolutely the disconnection from um our bodies and our cycles. Um what are some of the practical tips, yeah, steps maybe that we can take right now to begin healing this relationship with food? And also, I think the biggest thing when we heal our relationship with our food, we can come back to who we are as the feminine being, the goddess, the mother in waiting, you know.

SPEAKER_04 29:49

That's right. Well, first I want to say that if you are listening to this and you are recognizing yourself in what I've shared, that recognition in itself is significant because it takes courage to hear something and let it land. Um so that's actually really important.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

Yeah, honoring.

SPEAKER_04 30:09

But healing a complicated relationship with food is not something that's gonna change overnight. Because for many of us, this has been years in the making. Um, things we've taken on from, you know, perhaps generationally from our mothers, our grandmothers, from society, from magazines, social media. Um, but so what it requires is small, consistent, compassionate steps in the direction of reconnection. Um so I'm gonna offer three um uh tips that you can you can try. Um, and the first is to introduce one active genuine nourishment and pleasure into your eating every single day. So, for example, that might look like setting, setting the scene of where you're gonna eat, um making that in itself into a ritual. So you could um put on music, um, you could set nice lighting, taking away your phones and screens so you're eating distraction free. And then asking yourself, what do I genuinely want right now? What would feel nourishing? What would feel pleasurable? Not what should I eat, but not what's on the fertility approved list. Um, but what does my body actually want? What would feel good? What would I genuinely enjoy? And then you can begin using all of your senses so you can look at the food, you can smell the food, you can touch the food, and then really taste the food. Because I think for a lot of us, we we eat on autopilot, we just go through the motion without actually being present to the food, to the taste. So that can be a really enjoyable making eating into a more enjoyable experience.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

I love it.

SPEAKER_04 32:01

Um, the second step is to start tracking your menstrual cycle. Um, and I'm not talking about tracking only for ovulation, which is part of it, but tracking as an active body recog reconnection. So you're learning the language of your body throughout the month. So you can use an app to track, you can use a chart, but it's also about noticing, right? So what day of your cycle are you on? What does your energy look like today? How does your body feel? What does it seem to need? Just noticing, paying attention, getting curious. Because that attention is one of the most powerful things you can offer your body. It says to your body, I'm here, I'm listening, and you matter to me. And the third step, which kind of flows on from the second, is once you identify which phase of your cycle you're in right now, you give yourself the permission to honor what that phase needs. Okay, particularly around rest. Um it's like every people are always good at um, you know, yes, I could do the nutrition, yes, I can do the exercise, yes, I can do the supplements, rest. That one's a little bit more tricky. So if you're in your luteal phase or your menstrual phase and your body is asking you to slow down, then let yourself slow down. Um, not because you've earned it, but just because that's what your body's asking for. That's what your hormones are asking for. Progesterone is asking for it. It might look like going to bed 30 minutes earlier, right? It doesn't have to be this grand change. Just, you know, 30 minutes earlier. Maybe saying no to one commitment that feels a little bit too much that day, maybe choosing a walk over a high-intensity workout, or having something warm and nourishing instead of something cold and quick. Um, so not being dramatic about it, but just being intentional.

SPEAKER_01 33:59

Yeah, I like that. Not being dramatic, but being intentional. Yeah, I like those three steps very, very much. And I think they're good for everyone to be aware of. In fact, no matter what part of our stage in life as women that we are. And um, I uh um it reminded me earlier you talked about, you know, doing something for pleasure, for food. And I used to listen to a gentleman called Wayne Dyer um when I was years younger, you know, really working on who I who I was and healing, healing were all the things I needed to heal. And he talks about um a story of you know, two women have a cookie, one eats the cookie and feels guilty, the other eats the cookie and feels so like, oh, that was so yummy, I really enjoyed it. And he was like, Well, which one has the best experience? And which one do you think the cookie was really good for? And for me, that was massive about how I felt about food. Yes, and eat it, enjoy it instead of feeling guilty about it. And it was something that really changed my mindset, just a you know, silly little story. But it uh for me, that was really profound, and that's that thing of that actual general nourishment and pleasure. That's that's what reminded me of that.

SPEAKER_04 35:18

Well, that's really interesting because you know, from a weight loss point of view, the the woman that's stressed is actually gonna have a harder time losing the weight because of the cortisol and insulin production over the stress of eating the cookie rather than the cookie itself. And that's that's why that story is so important.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

I mean, it's it's it's yeah, it's really good. So it it stopped me from wanting the for whenever I did have one, it was yummy, you know. Yes, so it just changed so much for me.

SPEAKER_04 35:49

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 35:50

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So um, so I really want to reflect on this conversation we've had about understanding our body and being aware of what it's trying to tell us and to listen and and rest, I think. I've really enjoyed our conversation today and just the very different way that you work with food. Um, I think that's really fantastic. So thank you, Tammy.

SPEAKER_04 36:20

You're very welcome. I enjoyed the conversation

Tammy’s Story And How To Find Her

SPEAKER_04 36:22

too.

SPEAKER_01 36:22

And what what is it for you that brings in the eating and the femininity and the connection with the body? What was it that took you in that direction?

SPEAKER_04 36:35

My own experience. Um, I was completely disconnected to my body, my emotions. Um, I remember having a uh breakup. Um, this is when I was living in London, and I went to see a therapist and she said to me, How are you feeling? And I said, Fine. And she said, That's not a feeling, and I didn't understand what she meant. Um, I didn't know that there were other feelings. Um, and I had a completely um messy, disordered relationship with food, that food was a control pattern I would restrict. Um, and that was hand in hand, right? If I wasn't allowing myself to feel, if I wasn't allowing myself to eat, it is all tied together. So this is really what I'm sharing, a lived experience. Um, you know, at the same time, I didn't have, I didn't have periods, my periods stopped. Um so this is coming from a place that's lived. Um and then I learned really what it means to nourish my body and also develop the language around emotions. Um, and actually Brene Brown has a beautiful book.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

Oh, we do love that.

SPEAKER_04 37:57

I can't remember the name of her book, but she actually provides more language around emotions. And I often use that with clients because sometimes it's helpful to have um more words to describe things.

SPEAKER_01 38:09

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:10

Is it Atlas of the Heart? Atlas of the Heart, that's right. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

Yes, yes, okay. I'll make sure I put that in the show notes. It is a great atmosphere. Tell me, hearing your story just at the very end is um really very powerful because it is why we do the work we do. And so I honor your journey that's taken you on this amazing work that you do. So, how do people find you? How can we find you to work with you?

SPEAKER_04 38:37

Yes, so my website is um www.tami shemesh.com. So that's tami t-a-l-m-y shemesh s-h-e-m-es-h dot com. Um, and I'm also on Instagram, um Tammy Shemesh.nutritionist.

SPEAKER_01 38:56

Okay, excellent, excellent. Follow her, ladies. So, ladies and gentlemen, if you're both out there, do follow beautiful Tammy. And do you work like online, in person? How do people connect with you?

SPEAKER_04 39:11

I'm fully online through telehealth. So I work with um women and couples all over all over the world.

SPEAKER_01 39:17

Global. You're a global lady. Well, I I love this. Thank you so much, Tammy. And as we part today, what would be some parting advice or words that you would like to share with everybody?

SPEAKER_04 39:31

Really, the the body is always working for you. Um it's never um going against you against you, and really that's an invitation to invite trust, yeah, to trust the body, to trust the process, to trust the journey.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

It really is, yes. The body is actually working for us, and I think that was a big thing for me is if I stopped arguing with it and hating it and turning it around, then we could work together. And it's so true, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Well, Tammy, I'm so glad that you're on this journey supporting all of these people um on a fertility path because it's it's so needed.

SPEAKER_04 40:15

Oh, it's such an honor, it's such a joy um when I see women make those changes and and get the results that they want.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

Oh, it really is. It really is. Tammy, thank you for spending a bit of Saturday with me out of your busy life and family. So thank you for sharing all of your knowledge and your expertise with us.

SPEAKER_04 40:34

Thank you, Liz. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_01 40:37

Pleasure, honor, absolute honor. And with that, beautiful beings, connect with your body. What is your body telling you? And if you need to um find some more understandings of connection and food and creating the right um cyclical, uh, what am I trying to say? The right cycle, please contact Tammy. And with that, lots of love. Blessings to everybody, and take care.

Final Trust Reminder And Farewell

SPEAKER_00 41:07

Thanks for joining us at the Homer Fertility. We hope today's episode brought you clarity, comfort, and connection.

SPEAKER_02 41:17

If this podcast resonated, please share it, leave a review or subscribe. This helps us support more people that are on this path.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

And if you'd like to connect or share your story, find us on Instagram and Facebook at Australian Fertility Summit.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

Remember the missing piece might be waiting in a story, your body's wisdom, or something new, just made for you. Take care, and we'll see you next time.