FATAL ATTRACTION

This episode is about how your attraction is messing you up, and how your attraction is keep you from finding a great fit.  

Transcript

Health Wake-Up: Go To The Doctor

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hey everyone, thank y'all for coming back to my podcast, The Truth About It All, with your boy Ken Johnson. Okay, before we get started, I would just like to mention something. What's wrong with us, especially African Americans? What's wrong with us that we hate to go to the doctors? We all need to go to the doctor, especially once we get up in this age and we need to get our prostate checked, our gut checked. You know, you don't want nothing to sneak up on you. So you need to go to the doctor. And this is not just for African Americans, it's all people. And look, even the young. When we're young, we think that we're invincible, that we don't need to go to the doctor and don't need to get checked out, you know. And maybe so, maybe so. Because, you know, we all our shit is strong. Our metabolism is good, you know, our heart rate is good. But, you know, but sometimes your ass needs to get checked out too. Just for a precaution. Don't go two, three, four, five years without talking to a doctor. So what I'm trying to say is, even when you're young, let's get familiar with one doctor. Maybe he don't, you know, last your whole life and he, you know, that doctor might be older and pass on. But whoever he passes practice to, well, get familiar with that person too. At least your files will be there. See me, I deal with one hospital and it's called auctional, right? No matter where I go, if I go to see an ENT, if I go to see my gastologist, if I go and see my primary doctor, well, they all all my shit is in one folder. So I don't have to remember the medicine. I don't have to remember what prescription I'm taking from each doctor. What they do is just go straight to the computer, pull up my damn file, my picture showing up there, and guess what? They got everything right down that I won't even have to open my mouth. Okay. So the reason why I'm basically saying it is that I went to the doctor, and it's maybe about three years ago, and they said that I was pre-diabetic. My A1C was like a 6.2. Now, ain't diabetic, but I'm pre-I took that shit serious. Like, what the why is my body going towards to be a diabetic? And I don't want that, and that's especially in African-American. We we we we got a high rate from type 2 diabetes. So I'm like, oh no, oh no, I'm not gonna go through this shit, right? So what I started to do is I got on this diet called the keto diet. That's when you cut out all carbs and sugars. I got on that so hard that I got obsessed with it. Because the next time I go to my doctor, which is every six months, and I got to do the blood work, and then two days later, I got to go and see the doctor. And she goes over my blood work. Well, with my app that I have, well, I see my blood work way before I even go to the doctor. My shit just popped through the damn app. I get to see my A1C before I even go to the doctor, and man, my A1C went from a 6.2 to a 5.5. Knocked myself straight out of straight out of it, straight out of being pre-diabetic. I felt so fucking good, and I was just, you know, wanted to stick with it. Until my doctor said, Ken, you can enjoy yourself sometimes. Well, I did. I got me some Pope Pies every once in a while, went, got me some

Pre-Diabetes, Keto, And A1C Lessons

SPEAKER_02 3:40

cheese balls, ate some, you know, so it's pretty bad. Well, the last visit was about a week ago, my A1C just jumped right back up to like a 6.2. So guess what? I'm back only strictly. But I wouldn't know all of this unless I went to the doctor. You know, I know my body is trying to get to to be a diabetic. But I'm just going to try hard for it not to get there. But the only way I know that is because I visit the doctors. So all I'm saying, old and young, woman or man, just see your doctor. Especially when women, I I just had a friend of mine that just passed from breast cancer. And I truly fully really believe is that she could have caught it faster before it got to a bad stage. You know? So, women, get your breast checked. I don't know how old you're supposed to do when you get started, but as soon as I get eight, you know, if I was a woman, I get 18, 19, and I could get my shit checked, I just get it checked out. Ain't nothing hurt or none of this shit. Because once you've you don't want to wait till it's too late, okay? We're not gonna waste our whole time on it. I just wanted to speak out to people to come on and see your position. And the faster you can find something, guess what? The quicker they can hear you. Because if you wait on it, it might be too late. Okay? All right, let's get this shit started. I left off by telling y'all about the girl that I met at the club and her ex that lived across the street, where he tried to sabotage our relationship. Well, I really didn't give a damn, okay? I I talked to her other day, she said I could say her name. Her name is Nicole. Well, I didn't give a damn about him trying to sabotage, because like I say, she she she wasn't my standard at the time. She wasn't the one that I wanted to, you know, ride off in the sunset with, if you like to say. Because she wasn't tens, because I was hitting tens. If it wasn't tens, it was no less than eight. You know what I'm saying? And she might have been a good five. I mean, body was nice, like I say, but when it came to the appearance, what and you know, the appearance, I don't want to be mean, but it wasn't what I'm used of. So I really didn't give a damn, you know, what he was throwing. So I never went back at him. Now, I shoulda, because first of all, I mean, man, the shit that you're doing, it's some man shit, and there's some bitch shit. I think it was kind of like bitch shit what he was doing, okay? But it really didn't bother me. If you got to go that far to do that, I mean, shit. If it works, it works. So I kept on doing me, doing things, but like I said, I had wrecked my car. She had a car. I started to use the car. I started to, you know, drop off of work and using her car, and me and my boys would ride around in her car, and like nothing never missed. Now, don't get me wrong, the more and more we hung out, man, she was pretty cool to hang out with. But at this time, it might have been a useful thing to do is just to keep her around because of her car. And I mean, she had a job too, you know. Like, you know, she never, like, if we went out, you sometimes she paid. You know what I mean? So it was it was beneficial to me. That's what I'm saying. I started you know, to deal with her, hang with her, you know, far more than I thought I was, okay? As things start to evolve in my life, I had to start realizing that change needs to be done. You know, she the one made me felt like change need to be done. Meaning that, yes, I understand it's called misusing someone for what they got. Yes, I know. I'm not here to disguise that any other way. But she was good for me because of her for what she had. Yeah, that's how it started, and we we we we we got along pretty well. She never knew it. You gotta make it, you gotta think a good con artist is gonna make you feel special no matter what. And I made her feel special. I never mistreated her. Think about what I'm saying. The reason why I got the things that I got from her, that you know, it was because I treated her nicely. I mean, I'm not gonna say that's was a con thing because I think I'm a very nice person. You know what I'm saying? You know, being nice is just who I am. All right, but did I show her a little more attention because of her stuff at the time? Yes. I kind of started using for what

A Past Relationship And Self-Reflection

SPEAKER_02 8:35

I needed. And I'm sorry that a fucking 10 is not gonna pee against her when she had more than them. You see what I'm saying? She had a car, she had a job, she was self-sufficient and independent. God damn it. I was like, this shit is easy. But did I stop fucking the 10s? Nah, nah. I kept, I kept, I kept on. I'm not like I said, I'm trying to keep it real, okay? As time went on with me and her, we just kept just hanging, having sex. All of a sudden, man, two years pass, three years pass. I mean, just having fun. Her mom has stayed in this apartment building, rest in peace today. She's passed away doing the COVID um stuff. Well, her mom had moved into her house, which her mom was living in an apartment, and she left that apartment to her. One day she kept saying, I wanted you to come move with me. And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will, I will. But at this time, I'm living with my mom. I'm comfortable. I'm getting fucking three course meals a day. I'm eating good. My mama a great cook. Sometimes she goes in there and see what clothes need to be washed, and she washes, you know, makes my bed. Nigga, I was happy. I was happy. So I didn't want to hear that bullshit about moving in with her. I just thought it was good like it was. She'll go and talk to my mom, and my mom would agree with her that, yeah, it's time for me to grow up. Nigga, I wasn't ready to grow up. What happened if I wasn't ready to grow up? I still didn't want to leave. But it wasn't a point of growing up. I just knew that me and her, it was for the all the wrong reasons. I didn't know. See, in my head, I imagine perfection. Perfection. I I mean body, face, you know, common shit that that that for other people could even look at and go, ooh, wee, you know what I mean. That's what I was looking at. She wasn't at. She was, she, she wasn't there. Okay? Yeah, she had shit more than them other ones. She had it. And I used it for it, but at the same time, goddammit, it wasn't what I was accustomed to. It wasn't that I couldn't go back and talk to my boys about. My boys ain't really give a damn about me hitting that. Only thing they cared about is using her car. That's all that was. I even had family members that would call me up and say, Ken, I need to go make groceries. Do you do is is is Nicole around so you could use her car to bring us to me to the grocery store? I yeah, I was I was doing it. She, well, when I tell you, yes, I know how it sounds today. But back then, I just didn't think about that, y'all. I didn't. I didn't think about how she was my rock. I didn't think about how how much she had my back and would have done anything for me. All I cared about was the appearance. All I cared about was like no way, no how I could be with this person. And it wasn't because of the inside. Most of that shit came from the outside. No, y'all. I was too young to think about an 80-20 rule. I was too young to think about what these things, what she could do for me in the long run, then think about it. Top 10 had to knock him down. She never got a fair shake. She never did. And by her boyfriend, her ex, I mean, boyfriend across the street from me. So when she used to get out the car and they he saw us together, I held her hand tightly. I I made sure I kissed her in front of him. Yeah, I pissed that motherfucker off. I'll tell you more about him later. That's enough about my journey. Let's go ahead and get to the podcast on which topic is today. Okay, let's go.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

They told you love the fairy tale. A dream you got to chase. A night that you got it on the ride to save the day. The real love ain't no rescue. It ain't a perfect seat. It's fine if someone's falling. I don't think. I don't think so much.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

The reason I brought up that story to tell you about my life is because of that one simple thing, y'all. The one thing that we keep messing up every time, and I mean that one word that's called attraction. I'm not attracted to him, and I'm not attracted to her. Don't you know that that hormone in your body that lets you know that you're attracted to somebody is the worst enemy you got inside yourself? That shit is bad because attraction made you look for one particular person, one type, one thing that set your bell off. And guess what? That person would never, never be the right one for you, nine times out of ten. That attraction that we figure that that's what we need is totally opposite, y'all. It really is. Now, I got this one little thing that I downloaded for y'all. It's Shannon Sharp. I think y'all might know him and Ocho. If you don't, I'm sorry. But uh he had a viral clip that went kind of viral with him and um Cat Williams. If you didn't see that, go ahead and check that out. It was a pretty good one. But I think most of the world saw that. All right. I'm gonna go ahead and get this clip together and let you hear this. Well, he talked about this one particular time with him and Ocho, okay?

SPEAKER_01 14:52

Yes, sir. Yeah, man, it's a thing was you know my problem with Ocho? Oh, excuse me. Looking for perfect

Attraction Myths And The Perfection Trap

SPEAKER_01 15:00

action. Ooh, take your time. It ain't out one. Well, she the perfect height. Uh-huh. She was the perfect complexion. Come on now. She had the perfect build. She had the perfect uh-huh. Bro, you're not gonna find all that. Uh uh. In one, you just listen. I've come to the realization I've got to I've got to find a woman that have enough of the qualities that I'm looking for that I'm willing to overlook the ones that she don't have. Woo! It took me 57 years to realize that there is no such thing as perfection, although we constantly try to achieve it. Talk to me. So now I'm like, okay, that's enough. Right. You're enough. Yeah, you're tall enough, you're fine enough, the complexion is enough. Everything is enough. Come on now. And it took me a while to realize that because I'm like, I'm trying to be perfect. Hell, I want the perfect person.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

Did y'all understand what he was saying? It took him 57 years to realize that there's nothing as a perfect relationship. That he was looking for all that in one girl, that's not gonna happen. That's why I played that clip so you could hear it. That's not gonna happen. And I'm so sorry, ladies, that he was your soulmate. He he was he fit me like a glove. No, he did not. He played on your emotions, which he got to know you, and next thing you know, he started doing the things that you like to impress you until he gets tied in enough of you. That's it. That attraction, man, that shit will fuck you up. And we have to start learning today. We gotta give people a shot that we might not be attracted to. But you cannot start with that. I promise you, if you could start with loving a person, and I ain't gonna say loving, I'm sorry, let's let's take that back, to get to know a person inside, you're gonna find something else you're gonna be attracted to. I mean, it's certain things that when in the past that uh you couldn't have ugly feet. If if a girl had claw feet like a like an eagle feet, I wouldn't mess with them. I don't give a damn. Today, I can see I got partners today. Oh man, they in their 50s. Oh man, she this she got a little belly, she got two kids. What the hell you think you gonna find at 50 if she 52? You know what I'm saying? If she is laying around here and is of age, she done went through life too. And you're not gonna find no no 50-year-old lady with a with a size two gene, big old breast, and and and and beautiful face with no pimples, no makeup, no, you're not gonna do it. So what I'm saying is sometimes we got to understand some shit. And you know where we need to start at? Us. Looking inside us. Because goddamn, if you look at us and you dig long enough and you look in that goddamn mirror, guess what? We ain't perfect. Why we expect somebody else to be perfect when we not perfect? Ain't that some fucked up scenario? But see, the number one thing you need to do is needing to say to yourself is come on now. You gotta stop looking at yourself like you something on a pedestal. You can't you gotta stop looking at yourself like your shit don't stink when you sit on that toilet and you flustered. You think your when it goes down, it goes to a different spot. It goes to the same spot that other shit go to. Same one. Down that goddamn drain to the goddamn ditch and flow out to the goddamn lakes and rivers. Your shit go there too. So, first of all, we need to start checking ourselves, okay? Stop looking at people with your nose up, thinking that you better. Because as long as you keep doing that, you're gonna be in a heap of goddamn trouble. You never gonna find happiness over attraction. Just because you see somebody that you think you attracted to because he looked, his muscles, his chest, whatever you look at that you find attractive is fucking you up. And I can't help but to keep on cursing because I want to drill this shit in like a nail. Take that fucking hammer, strike it and go in deep with that nail to let you dig in that you could be driving home today and look in that rear view mirror and just say, I ain't shit either. Yeah, I understand you got a motherfucking job, you make 200,000. He make he make 50,000. That make you better. That make you to a point where you could do you could you deserve better? Baby, baby, you deserve your fit.

Shannon Sharpe Clip: Enough Is Enough

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Listen what I'm saying. You deserve your fit. All that other shit that you talk about, about his muscles, that ain't gonna help you. His pretty eyes ain't gonna help you. Her big ass ain't gonna help you. Her double D's is not gonna help you. Thank you. That shit is to play with. That shit ain't for real. It's for you to play with. Half of you go get fake ones so you can play with them. Then the next person play with them, then the next person play with them and don't do shit for you. Listen. Especially you young people, listen. I understand y'all coming up in this world today that goddamn Instagram is taking over, and you got Facebook and you got your girls, you know, her man might look a certain way, and you want to top her man. You let me tell you something. Let me tell you something, young ladies and young man's. That shit don't help you in the long run. I might have said this before, and I don't I'm sorry if I got to keep repeating myself with this shit, but I want you to realize that your main objective is to find someone that fits me. Okay, and that one is perfect. That's perfect. Even though it got flosses, it's perfect. Okay? I learned to look at any woman and find something attractive about it. And now it might not be the same shit you might think is attractive, but in my mind, my head, I got a numerous things that I feel like that is sexy. I could go to any woman and find the cutest, sweetest thing about her, and I could find attraction in it. I can. Because attraction ain't just lust. Attraction is something that you learn to love in the long run. And and and yes, you get this with experience, young lady. I'm just trying to tell y'all now, so you don't have to wait until you're 50 to learn some shit. Like Ocho say 57 to learn some shit. I'm trying to let you know now that if you got the book, why make a mistake if you could read the book? You know how y'all go on YouTube to find out how to fix the sink or the toilet, whatever. Well, right now, he goes a book. I'm throwing you the book. Let you know that you don't have to make those same mistakes that we did. You know, you don't have to wait till you're in your 50s to learn this shit. You got it in your hand. You listen to it right now. All you got to do is adjust your outcome, adjust what you've been thinking all this time in your head. Adjust that shit, tweak that shit a little bit. You know what I'm saying? And watch. You'll see how happy you are in the long run. Okay? You got the power, you know. Listen to it. You got wisdom. Listen to it. Stop be acting like you know more than everybody because think about what I'm saying. There's certain topics that I've talked about. When I started this podcast, I wanted to know what I wanted to talk about. I got to talk about what I know. I got to talk about what my life experience done been. I can't, I don't know it all. I I mean, come on. I don't know the Bible left and right. I don't know that. You know, I can't, I don't know every scripture in that Bible. I don't. But what I do know is that I could use some of the shit that I don't went through to help people. And I'm taking my time out. I'm not even getting paid, not yet. I'm not getting paid at all. I'm just taking my little free time and and then I'm coming out and trying to help people. That's all I've been doing. And this is what this podcast is for. So do I know everything? No, I don't know everything. Could I be wrong? Hell yeah. But I tell you this, I done went through some shit, and I'm just, I'm just, I'm just want to share a little of it. And remember, if you don't trust what I'm saying, I ain't shit. Think about it. I ain't shit. You ain't got to listen to shit. Because I ain't shit. Okay. I got you. You know more than me, or you know more than the next man. Hey man, good luck. Good luck.

Redefining Sexy: Character Over Looks

SPEAKER_02 24:30

I'm just want to speak to the people that want to listen. I just want to speak to the ones that say, you know, that have some issues. Some of you ain't got issues. But the ones that listening, maybe they do. Okay. And if you don't got to season two this far in my podcast, it's something that you enjoying. I'm hoping that I'm showing and I'm trying to give you a different output on stuff and you looking at things a little different. But at the same time, I mean, if you don't got this far, I hope you're getting something out of this podcast. I really do. But if you just enjoy it, I don't I don't mind that either. I I mean, I'd love to have you. But in the meantime, you know, this podcast is meant to help you. And like I said, maybe you could take some of what I'm saying and maybe change it up a little bit if you don't want to do it all. I got it. I got it. But I still appreciate every single one of you. I really do. I know some of y'all are gonna take this wrong and be like, how am I supposed to talk to someone if I'm not attracted? What I'm trying to say, I know attraction is important. I'm just saying, find something that you're attracted that's different than the normal attraction. I mean, come on. What about the communication? When you communicate with someone that that makes you laugh. Isn't that attractive? I remember I liked it a girl that she laughed funny and it was sexy. And the way she laughed turned me on. It had nothing to do with the, you know, the beautiful, how beautiful she is, or the big ass she had. It was just her laugh. You know, sometimes communication could just be enough, y'all. I mean, think about what I'm saying. If this person you thinking that you he's the potential to live your rest of your life with, ain't the communication should be more important than the looks? I'm just asking. Just think about what I'm saying. Someone that could make you laugh that could hold a stimulant conversation, someone on the same level as you, and when he's talking, he looks at you. He looks at you in your mouth. He don't keep looking at the TV. I'm talking about when you talk, he looks straight at you. He'll turn the TV down to listen to you. Ain't that attractive? That that ain't that sexy. Like he cares enough or she cares enough to forget whatever she's doing because even if after you interrupt that person, they still take out the time to cut the TV down and say, Let's talk. That ain't attractive, y'all. Think about what I'm saying. What about mutual respect? Someone that just definitely respects you. See, well, a person that respects you and respect the values and respect who you are, that's not sexy. That's really sexy, y'all. Ain't that sexy? Think about what I'm saying, okay, fellas, fellas. If you got this beautiful girl, big ass, big titty, red bone, whatever you want to call your attraction to, think about if I come around here with this ungirl that you're not attracted to, you goes, baby, can I shoot poo? And she's so attractive. No, I don't want you to shoot poo. I want you to do this, I want you to do that, yeah, yeah. And I go to my unattracted girl because whatever I feel like she's sexy about, you might not see it the same way as I see it. So I go to mine's and say, hey, baby, I go shoot poo. Baby, yeah, go shoot poo. If you come home early enough, can you bring me something to eat? If not, it's all about you having a good time, sweetie. Have a great time. See you when you make it home. What do you ready to? I fuck that all day. Fuck that. I will take that and fuck all day. When I make it home, I'm gonna give it to her. Because that's sexy to me. It took me a while to get there, though, y'all. It did. It took me a while to get there. Yeah, his girl pretty. I ain't gonna say she not. Oh, she's sexy. But her attitude is shitty. Shitty. And to me, that's a turn off. Now look, another thing that turns me off. Even if I think that you that top 10 and you pull out a fucking cigarette, I'm turned off. I don't want a woman that smokes. I'm not saying that for everybody. I'm saying me. When when when a beautiful woman pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking, I get unattracted to her. That's why my wife don't smoke. I didn't choose a wife that smokes. Not saying that it might be sexy to you that both of y'all smoke. I don't know. Whatever you find in your head and your brain that turns you on, go for it. Do it. But do not take the outside and say that's it, and that's it, and you marry that just because of the outside attraction, you're gonna have a miserable, miserable life. You're heading into divorce. That's why divorce in America is so goddamn high than any other country. Because we go in with attraction. We go in with attraction. That's what we go in at. And that's what we fucks up at, y'all. Now, ladies, why do y'all go and get dressed? You're talking on the phone with your girl, you're putting on your makeup, you put your high heels on, you put your party dress on, and you're just ready to hit the town. You go to the bar with your friends and you get to the bar and a man walks up and you go, not interested. Right away, not interested. The man never said nothing. I'm just not interested. You know why you do that? Because he the fairy tale look that you have in your head, how your man's supposed to be, big dimples, big blue eyes, long hair, you know, you looking for that right away. And now you don't shoot away somebody that you haven't even said one word to to have a conversation with. I know you hear me saying it. And at the same time, does that make sense to you? And at the same time, is that fair to him? He's just working what God gave him. That's all he's doing. He's working what God gave him. And you trying to tell me that you so much into your attraction in your head, your fairy tale man in your head, that this guy that could be a good guy. We don't know. He could be, he could not, but we'll never know because you don't shoot him away. Because that fairy tale guy that you interested in, that wouldn't him. Ain't that fucked

Lowering Standards, Raising Relationship Odds

SPEAKER_02 31:20

up? Think about it. Ain't that fucked up? I used to do it. I used to see this beautiful girl with this guy that was less attractive, and I be like, I look better than him. What the fuck he's doing that he pulls off a girl like this. I think we all done did that, right? And I think we all should know the answer now, too. It ain't about what this guy looked like on the outside. True statement. Do not judge a book by its cover. True statement. That guy could be the greatest guy in the world. The last guy that she might have had might have been that Prince Charles mother, you know what I'm saying. And treated her bad, beat on her, hit on her, spit on her. Well, here come this guy. Less attractive, but Teresa good. Which would you rather have? But we would never get there if you if a person don't have a chance. We got to start letting the guards down. We need to start doing everything. Fellas, I get it. Here come this heavy set girl walking in and she's bumping you on the dance floor, and you like, ugh, you know, that big bump, you know, the thing needs to lose 30, 40, 50 pounds. I can't do it, y'all. I just can't do it. You too might have just lost someone that could have been your perfect fit. We gotta just start talking, y'all. I understand that that that, you know, nobody should be obese. I get it. I understand that they can't look like the beast imbued in the beast. Okay, okay, I get it. But this is what I'm saying. Most people is just working with the gift God gave them. Nobody could go, you know, out there and just change their appearance just to change it. I mean, working with God's gift, that's different. Other than someone that just let them self go, someone that just don't give a damn how they smell. Okay, that's a difference, okay? I'm not speaking about that. I'm speaking to ones that do take care of themselves, but it just might not be your fit because God gave them what they needed to work with, and that's what they got. I don't care. God gave them the size of their penis, God gave them the looks that they got. It ain't we should if you believe in God and you believe in Christianity, some of you may or may not, I don't know. But you got to work with the stuff that he gave people. Okay? He gave water. So if a motherfucker is funky and stinky, I get it. I get it. Because we got water and soap. We got that. Now, if they're sitting around here not caring about the hygiene, that's totally different. Okay? If that mug's sitting there and got long toenails and can't clip them and don't have no paint on them, I I I get it. I get it. Now, I'm not speaking about them. Because if they don't care about themselves, they ain't gonna care about you. Okay? If they don't care the way they smell, they ain't gonna care about you. Because they don't give a damn about themselves. And like they say, you got to love yourself first before you can love anybody else. And if they don't love themselves, to take a damn bath or a shower and just straight up funky and can't, hey, hey, you gotta keep walking, yo. You can't be attracted to funk. No. Ladies, I understand if a guy don't groom themselves, okay? They got hair growing out the ears and nose. Look, that that's a turn off. That's a guy that's not taking the time to prep himself. That's different than the way they was born. The look they was given. That's different than someone that don't go out and get a haircut. You know, some girls, I understand if you're not attracted to the type of hair that they got because they got dread locks in their head. You know, and and that stuff might have a certain scent that you might can't stand. I I got I mean, I'm with you on that one, okay? If a guy can't cut his hair and takes and get proper grooming and then don't give a care how he looked to walk out the door and got gray hair and black hair growing out their nose, I look, I can't help that. You walk away. I got it. But but let me explain something, okay? Let's just say if you lower your standards. Not by a lot, just by a little. That means you done accept almost 5% more people that could be improved in your life. You see what I'm saying? And look, in some cases, let's just say this. I saw it, but I saw it both ways. I can't lie about that. I saw shit both ways. But I just say, you're a man or a girl and you date someone under your standard, which you considered. This person might not be a 10, this person might be a five or a six. Okay. And I'm talking about both sides, okay? Now, it might not help you in the way you might think. You know, no, your friends and all that shit might not be, you know, girl, he's gorgeous. Boy, he's she's a 10, she's fine, got all that. Maybe, maybe that won't happen to you. But if you look as good as you think you look, and that person done landed you that's lower than your standards, follow me, follow me, okay? Well, they friends is gonna be like, wait a minute, how do you land her? Wait a minute, man, that guy is so fine. How did you do that? You know what I mean? And guess what happened? Well, that mate that getting all that credit and all that who why because of the way you look, become the best person in your life. The one that's showing more effort to hold you, the showing the effort to keep you around. When you say something, maybe that person will pay so much attention and give you what you need. You see what I'm saying? Are you following me? The person you lowered your standard to. Guess what? You have less competition by other women that looking for those type 10s. See, because you go out there and you get you a 10 girl or 10 guy, guess what's gonna happen? They're gonna have at least about another 50 to 60 people trying to get at them too. You see, you will always be threatened every time he wakes up and leaves out the house or she does. Like, like, you know, you you will have to be on edge all the goddamn time. Who would the hell want to live like that? Who in the hell wanna live like that?

Respect, Grooming, And Real Compatibility

SPEAKER_02 38:20

Let me explain something. When I met my wife, okay, I'm I'm kind of, you know, different. I don't like all that makeup shit, whatever. I chose my wife on terms like when I say, hey, let's go to Walmart. Well, she don't jump up and put on no makeup. She put her hair in the bun, she got a motherfucking um giant pants on, uh, sweatsuit on, and and put her slippers on. We out the door five minutes top. Okay, that's me. But I know, you know, I didn't like that you when I say, hey, let's go to the store, vice versa, and it takes her two hours to leave out because you got to put your makeup on. But I didn't want that. Some of you do. I didn't want that. Remember, she was my perfect fit. That's what I wanted and went out for. Okay? All right, fellas, talking to you. Look, let's say if you lower your standards, you saw a five or six, she got a nice little body, nice feet. Everything working, maybe not her face ain't what you like. Okay. Well, there is an enhancement with some makeup that maybe that six may be a seven or eight. I don't know. But at the same time, you don't have people trying to beat down her door to get at her all the goddamn time. But we fellas, you probably look, guys, we'll fucking fuck anything. I get it. But the thing is, is that that person is gonna cherish you so much because she knows that you might be the best looking guy she had. So you ain't got shit to worry about if you do the right goddamn thing. If you stay being a man, doing the stuff, taking care, buying flowers like you started in the beginning, then doing all the stuff that she likes and pay so much attention to her. Believe me, you got the best thing. You got the best thing. Okay, ladies, now you, okay. All right, you like the muscles, huh? You like that, huh? You like the the six-pack um all over, you know. So the six-pack so nice and and moist and and and and the preparation in the gym, sweating. He looked like Fabio. Y'all might not even know who Fabio is. But anyway, he look he looked like Sean Penn. You know what I'm saying? Oh yeah, yeah, that's what you like, huh? Man, fuck that. Think about what I'm trying to tell you, okay? How about you go get you a five or a six, right? You know, when you take his ass shopping, guess what? Pick some of that shit you like. You see the you like a certain type of haircut, bring him to the barber and and then rub his finger in the hair. Have a couple of people compliment him, you know. Oh, you look, you know, how to go. Look, all I'm saying, people, is that all these beautiful relationships y'all see, Kim Kardashian and on, all this beautiful people. Come on, man, that shit don't last. That's why she's single. I'm not telling you you can't find a top 10 girl and be happy. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying if you lower your standard some, you open up more people to be invited. Let me tell you how the shit gets fucked up. I'm gonna tell you what happens when someone lowers their standard for a person. And I'm only gonna go over this with you because I don't want you to fuck up, right? The thing most people do when they think they the shit, right? And they lowered their standard for the person, they start to try to misuse that person. They try to, you know, show that they could be an asshole to that person because I mean, nah, I mean, she ain't she ain't all that. He ain't all that. And so we started be demanding shit. Go get this, you know, wear my goddamn shoe. We start to mistreat a motherfucker, right? That's not gonna work. It's not gonna work. We have to stay like that five and six is a ten. We have to put in more work. Think about it, you know, those people that you might choose might have a low self-esteem, and you choosing in it like they already to a point, all right, what this motherfucker up to? Why he why he into me when Cindy over there that's a 10 won't him, but he's all under me. What's going on with this motherfucker's intention? That's that that's what they already gonna have their guards up, but you don't give them that. You treat them like them motherfuckers top ten. You know, and and and and boost that confidence up, and I promise you, I promise you, you're gonna have a great time, great life, and you're gonna this person is gonna appreciate you way more. Okay? I promise that. Okay, so I'm gonna go ahead and end that one there. And in the previous, you know, future podcasts, you know, we get back to the attraction, and a lot of stuff would in would interlock with each other as I talk. So if I go in and I just started talking again about attraction on a whole nother episode, just remember all this shit is intertwined. I can't put all this shit in on one chapter, so I have to

Closing Thoughts And What’s Next

SPEAKER_02 43:50

break it up. And sometimes, you know, like I say, I don't do a strip and I don't go back and hear myself speak either. I'm only gonna speak at the time of what I'm saying without a script, okay? So it might intertwine with each other again. You might hear me repeat something, and sorry for that if it gets aggravated to you, but you know, not trying to aggravate you. All right, let's go ahead and finish that. Come back for the next episode, okay, y'all, and be safe out there, y'all. Things are crazy out there. Be safe, okay? All right, God bless.

SPEAKER_00 44:34

They told you love's a fairy tale, a dream you gotta chase, a night and shiny on the riding in to save the day. The real love ain't no rescue, it ain't a perfect scene. It's finding someone's spot who don't make you feel a seat. I don't wait, on the wake, out of open for a stick. Ain't nobody spotted, someone's got a fix.