love vs fit pt 2

Love can feel like the whole point until real life shows up and asks harder questions. I’m Ken Johnson, and I’m putting a spotlight on the difference between chasing a spark and building something that actually fits your life. Attraction can light the match, but compatibility, shared values, and emotional safety are what keep the house standing when the excitement fades. If you’ve ever wondered why two people can “love each other” and still fall apart, this conversation is for you.

I also get personal with the Nicole story, including what happened when I took pride in doing a great job at work and then got let go right after my girlfriend showed up. The lesson is raw, and it’s bigger than one workplace. It’s about outside pressure, interracial dating realities, and how fast other people’s bias can touch your money, your confidence, and your relationship.

Then we go deep on practical relationship advice: how to choose five real nonnegotiables, why you shouldn’t try to change the main parts of a person, and what “fit” looks like in a real marriage with real responsibilities. I talk about family values, co-parenting dynamics, and the 80/20 mindset that helps you stop letting small pet peeves sabotage something good. If you want better communication, less defensiveness, and a healthier long-term partnership, this one will challenge you in a good way.

Subscribe for more real talk, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review if it hits home. What’s on your five-item list for a partner who truly fits you?

Transcript

Posting More And Sound Quality

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey everyone. Thank y'all for coming back to my podcast, The Truth About It All with your boy Ken Johnson. Man, I truly, truly blessed that everyone that comes and give me the output about the podcast. I I really do love it. I love criticism because it teaches me what I need to do. If I think something, you know, is wrong and some people that just been telling me what I should do. You know, some of it is so far-fetched that I can't do, but at the same time, I'm so happy that people are so engaged in the podcast. Thank y'all. I really do. Thank y'all. And I know I need to start putting out more content faster, quicker for the listeners, the ones that's right on top of it, you know. And I am preparing myself to try to do that. See, I could put out content that when I'm on that road, like I say, I'm a truck driver, but I hate when it don't sound good. You know, I I guess I could get it where, you know, the sound quality is okay, but I want it good, great. I want one when you're listening that you have a great experience. And see, part of that is that I could put out there the content and I could say some stuff, and when I listen back, it ain't the greatest. And I want it great. I I mean, I I guess what I need to do is not stop worrying about, you know, the sound or quality and just start worrying about the message. Forgive me if I start putting out stuff that might, the sound quality might not be as great. Because I love getting back to the house and go into my little private little room. It's quiet, kids gone, wife at work, and and I just put out my content with the best quality. So I I like those people I was saying that give me the input, you know, they want stuff faster other than quality of the sound. And I understand that. So for those that that love that quality sound and and they get a little disturbed or not the greatest, you know, I'm just trying to push stuff out because I'm I'm working on talking while I'm in my truck, you know, while I'm at work. You know, I do a thing called Hotshot, where, you know, a lot of people, you know, they they watch the show but don't really know what it is. But down here in Louisiana, Texas, the Gulf Coast, we do a lot of stuff with the oil field. And I haul stuff for them. And so it could be a demanding job, you know, a lot of time to do things because you got to do it right. Once you lock down that load, you just can't be going fast and and trying to be irresponsible because anything they put on your back, they they expect it to come the way they put it on there. So you gotta secure your loads down, you know, for the people that don't know. That takes a lot of my time, people, and I'm running my own business in it. You know, I work for myself. I don't want to keep giving excuses, but just letting you in a little bit, okay? All right, but I'm gonna start trying to put little things out, you know, and I don't want to put out garbage either. I don't want to just come up with something that just I want to, you know, I I listen to the people that listen to this podcast. I also listen to the people that having trouble, and I read my messages. Like I say, uh in any platform, y'all could leave me a message,

The Nicole Story And A Hard Lesson

SPEAKER_01 3:28

okay? Let's jump back in to the me and Nicole story. All right, me and Nicole probably been living together now, maybe about a year now. I always went back to my street, never, you know, always, you know, and we had some OGs on there, you know, original gangsters over there. And them OGs used to always tell me, man, King, what you doing over here, man? I'd be like, man, this is my hood, man. I ain't gonna never, you know, stop from coming over here. And them people started to set me down and talk to me. At first, it was going out of one ear, out the other. You know, they would say stuff like, Hey man, look, it's time for you to, you know, to start selling down, man. Get your family, man. Start, you know, taking care of your home over where you're at. Man, you got to stop coming over here, man, hanging with them knuckleheads, man. You got a beautiful girl over there, and you need to lay around there, man, and start being a real man before somebody else would. And, you know, and stuff like that, man. They just kept telling me this all the time. And man, and and on the way back one day, I was just driving, and I was like, man, do I need to make that change? Do I really need, you know, is what I'm doing right now is just so bad? And man, yes, it was. I had to answer that one myself. Yes, it was. I was still sleeping with girls, I was still going out making money, things that could get me locked behind bars. I was still doing dumb stuff. And it just wouldn't be in a man. It just was, you know, not locking down my house and making sure that I was living for her too. So, man, I, you know, make a long story short, I decided to go ahead and get me a job. I went to my uncle, you know, I could say his name, my uncle Wayne. That's my uncle Dan brother. He he was working at this car lot. And what he was doing, like eyes at end stuff, like eyes and end jobs over there. I asked him, I said, Man, y'all ain't hiring over there. He said, bro, let me let me get back with you. Maybe they are. So he did. He got back with me and he said, Yeah, man, they need somebody to wash some cars and work in the body shop. I get over there. I I this is gonna be a made-up name because I don't want to let this guy, even though I should blast his ass, I don't want to let this guy, you know, name out and he come back lawsuit. You know how I mean, you know how it is. Anyway, they had this guy over there, Paul. And Paul was my boss. I mean, I'm washing cars, I'm doing everything, man. I was, I was, I was cleaning them cars so good, man, that I was spit shine them. They came out glistening. Everything I just put my all in it. It's time to start being a man. That's that's all that's all I was thinking about. I'd get to work early, ask Paul does he need me to do something at the body shop, bind this down, go pick up some customers, and bring them back to get their car. I was doing, man, I was I was a champion. Real champion. I would get my paycheck, I would bring it home to Nicole, and Nicole would pay some bills. Man, I'm finally feeling like a man, right? I'm finally feeling like that man. Going home, kicking up, and all I think I was just tell Nicole, look, I just want me a six-pack of bills, some cigarettes, and pay and just the rest, put some money in my pocket and pay the bills. Man, I mean, I made that change. I started to really feel good about myself. I I I did. Okay. Now, one day I go out there to work. I ain't gonna say the car lot name because it's still relevant. You know, it's still out there, you know. I'm not gonna tell you the car lot name. You know what? Yes, I am. I was working in Metter at a car lot called Paretti's, okay. The Paretti, Mr. Paretti, I never really kind of met him, sat down, talked to him, none of that, but his son worked that area. And we we decided that that we was gonna go and I was gonna just take everything to the next level to show that I'm really want. And I didn't want to let my uncle down either because my uncle done gave me the job, so I don't want them to go back talking about your nephew, this, nephew, that. The day Paul pulled me in and said, Man, you're doing a great job. Man, you're doing an A100. Keep up that work, okay? Just keep that work up. So the next day, y'all, listen what I'm saying. The next day, I call Nicole and I say, Hey, Nicole, I'm kind of hungry. Can you go and pick me up a pole board sandwich or something and bring it to work? So he called Nicole. Nicole comes and she gets out of the car. The boss's son was asking, Who is that? Who is that? He was interested in Nicole. Nicole went up to this little boot that we had there, like a little service boot that you know when people bring people, it don't matter. Anyway, she went and asked for me by name. The son said, Wait, hold up, hold up. You mean Kendrick Johnson? He's like, Yeah, Kendrick Johnson. He said, Okay, all right, let me go call him. And I get this call. Paul, Paul picked up the phone. Paul said, Hey, somebody here for you. I'm like, oh yeah, that must be my food. That must be my food, right? I get out there, I grab my food, you know, I got a couple of wandering eyes, but I mean, okay, cool. You know, it's always been a little busy area, you know, people dropping off calls. So Nicole, like, here go your food, gave me a kiss and got back in the car. I got me another kiss before she left off. Bam, went back to work. Next day, follow me, people. Next day, I get back to my job. And I get a call from Paul, hey man, come on in, let me talk to you. I'm like, all right, what's up, Paul? Now remember, a day ago they were telling me about my great job that I was doing there. So now this time I get the call to come and sit down. Well, they doing cutbacks, and you know, they were gonna let me go since I was the last one hired. I say, okay, Paul, I thought I was doing, he's like, you all ain't got nothing to do with you. But the thing of it is, is that we we we got too many people on the books, we're gonna have to let you go. And I'm like, all right. I just say, okay, man, it's been a pleasure working for you, man. Kind of hurt my feelings because, you know, I thought I was doing such a great job that that what man, you can't let me go. And I mean, it just it was hurt, it hurting me. I went home that day. I get a phone call from my Uncle Wayne. My Uncle Wayne said, Man, I heard it let you go. I say, Yeah, man, they say they had to do some cut. I'm all guttable. I don't know no, you know, I'm not really thinking. And my Uncle Wayne, the one that says, hey, hey, hey, man, listen, they ain't let you go because of your job performance. They let you go because of Nicole. I say, What Nicole did hear some what he said, come on, man. He said, think about it. He said, when Nicole got there, the son was very interested in who that is. He went back and told the daddy that I was you was dating a white girl. And the daddy said, What? He's like, so that's why they let you go, because of Nicole. I say, man, you serious? You know, it had to be like the year 2000, 2001, 2, you know, during that time, bro. We still on this on this stuff like that, you know, and it's always brought me back, like, man, no matter how much we think that we done came, interracial still was killing me at the time. I didn't even tell Nicole, man, that that happened. I I was a little distraught with that one, because man, I I really I I was kind of mad at my uncle too, because I felt like, man, why you didn't quit? Why you didn't have my back? Why you just sitting there telling me what but you know, different generation too, you know. But it kind of hurt me because he should have, he should, I think he should have. Well, you know, being a man now and no, no, he shouldn't have. He should have kept his job to pay, you know, he had a family too. All right, but that's that that's that that that killed me though. All right, let's get to this podcast, yo.

Love Versus Fit Part Two

SPEAKER_00 12:00

They told you love the fairy tale, a dream you gotta chase, and I didn't allow riding in to save the day.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

In the previous episode, I was telling you about love versus fit, and I left off not telling y'all about the fit because it just got too long. So, this is that part two of that episode.

Pick Five Nonnegotiables For Fit

SPEAKER_01 13:06

So, you remember I was saying that I believe fit is better than love. Now, look, attraction, I get it. Attraction is the spark, but the fit is the foundation. Sparks start fire, but a solid a solid fun foundation keeps things standing for a long run. See, when you chase love, it's like squeezing into a glass shoe. But finding the right fit is like having comfortable gears to work with. See, to find a fit, it starts with you. You have to find out what's more important to you, all right? It shouldn't be a hundred things. You need to just choose five things that's so important, and I could deal with the rest. And once you do that, then you can start working on the fit. For example, like me and my wife. Me and my wife is not compatible. What I mean about that is we fit stuff that in our life that we like to do, and it just is just that way. I know it's hard for me to explain it, but I'm gonna try. Okay. Like, for instance, we love our mother. I'm a mama's boy, she's a mama's girl. I know that I don't come before her mama. She don't come before my mama, okay? So from that fact, just think about it on her side. Just think that I don't come between them two. I know my role. And I don't try to proceed more than that. Like I'm better and I need I'm a man. You're gonna put me before your mama, your family. No, no, no, because I don't want her to do the same to me. We we commend each other that way. Now, what I need my wife for is totally different what she needs me for. So, whatever she needs me for, I'm giving it to her. I'm not gonna say it, that's for me and her. But there's people that walks up to me and say, Man, you only with your wife because she allowed you to do such and such and such and such. Uh yeah. I mean, should I marry someone that that's gonna argue for stuff that I love to do? That don't make sense, right? But that's where the stuff started. See, a lot of people want to get into these relationships and think they could change a person once they with them. Well, and folks say you can. Don't get me wrong, but not the main things. There's certain things you could change in a person, but don't try to change the main things. And you have to know what the main thing is. And you might can't ask what it is. You just have to know about a man. You just have to know about a woman. You got to know about how close she is with her family. You you just can't change those things. Now, the rest of it, you can. You can. But it takes work, and we're gonna get into that part later.

Blended Family Standards And Values

SPEAKER_01 16:01

But that takes work and commitment. Now, how did I get to where I'm at right now about what is important to me? Well, I've been in relationships before. I got older relationships that I've been in that I say, look, man, I can't keep repeating this. I can't become, you know, the problem because I keep finding people that they the same and they not commending who I am and what I really want. I build from that. I build from that. So when I got with my wife, y'all, I wound up just saying, okay, she allowed me to do this. I was able to visit her family. I I I got the notion of opening my eyes and seeing who she was. And it started with being around her family. And then it was certain things that she showed me that my last relationship didn't have. And because it was things I decided, I'll be honest with you. I I was through with certain types of girls. I was through. I hate to say, I don't even want to talk about it, I don't even want to say it for right now, but I will let y'all know. But I was fed up with it because I'm I'm just live. So I found something totally different that allowed me to know what to look for. And y'all the same way. You y'all know that if y'all keep attracting the same person, it has to change. And you ask yourself sometimes, why is I keep falling in this hole? You got to go for something different. The only way I could even try to explain the fit, I have to talk about myself because you're gonna pick up what I'm saying when I tell you about myself. Now, with my wife, my wife didn't have no kids. Okay, I chose that I didn't want no one with kids at the time because I had three kids already. But I I'm a truck driver. I needed someone to come help me while I'm gone to be my part too. And by her not having no kids, and I know by spending time with her how good her heart is, how how good that she is with older individuals, I know for a fact that she was going to be good to my kids. So it was a slow introduction to them. But she, when she came in and moved in with me, she brought them to the movie, she went and picked them up. She did, you know, you got to figure that part out by spending time with people. I'm just telling you the fast version of this, but you have to spend time with the person you chose. And that's how you get to know their quality. And first of all, I had a friend. Let me just just stop and just change. I had a partner of mine that went out to go eat with somebody, and the girl said, I want to pay half of the tax, uh half of the um bill. Well, he that did it for him because he felt like she was a type of girl that he might like that would pay her way. Just that's up to you. That's up to you. If that's your five main important, look for it. Go get it, okay? Back to me. Now, I also had three baby mamas, and I couldn't just bring anybody in this dynamic in this circle that's gonna try to destroy that because we all was getting alone. I mean, my three baby mamas also was still friends with each other. They would go out together, they did stuff together, they went shopping together, you know, groceries, clothes, whatever. I couldn't bring someone in that was gonna mess that up. So I had to be really careful. You understand what the fit is? I had to be real careful with who I brought in. And by spending time with my wife, knowing who she is and what kind of person she is, and what kind of generosity and good-hearted girl she was, I know she wasn't gonna mess it up. All right? I know that she was gonna come in and see the deal. She knew we wouldn't sleep in together. They was married. Some of, you know, they husband, they chose their husband on the dynamic of my relationship because we were still talking. We couldn't bring enemy into our circle. So we I we have to find the right person to come in and understand that we were raising my kids all together. All right. So my wife had to be that person. So, you know, everybody's situation is gonna be different. How many women y'all know would have come in with my three baby mamas and would have been happy go lucky? You know, it's not many. So you had to find it. You know, whatever your situation is, find it. That was important to me. That was one of those things that was on my list of if I had to bring somebody in, damn it, they're gonna have to get along with the baby mamas. And I know that's tough. I get it. Another one of mine was family values. That was important too. I mean, my old relationship, you know, the family, the family value wasn't there. Not for me. I'm not gonna say it wasn't there, it just wasn't there for me. So I decided, you know, that wasn't gonna happen again. You see what I'm saying? We all been in situations that we know that we could kind of change the outcome of the next one. And for my young listeners, I know you don't have a lot of experience like the older people may have, but if you could just listen to this podcast and try to get a concept of what I'm trying, maybe you don't have to go through all that turmoil that we did to learn. See, I already went through it. I'm an open book, so I'm telling you that maybe this could work for you. So all you gotta do is just keep listening and start, you know, billing, you know, a concept. If if if you get stuck, message me. I message you back, and we could talk about it if they agree. Like I say, if you agree, uh do it. If you don't, okay. But anyway, all I'm saying is why go out there and search for something. Someone that's totally not for you and don't amend nothing in your life. I know how hard it is to date. I know how hard it is, you know, to start over, but you have to. You got to keep on moving. That's the circle of life. That's the way it's supposed to go on. The thing of it is, is that when you're gonna decide that you're tired of the crap, and see, that's why I chose fit over

Dropping The Fairy Tale Pedestal

SPEAKER_01 22:26

love. And guess what? I know some of you might be saying you really don't love your wife. No, that's not true. I think this is real love, other than that fiction love y'all keep talking about. Let me tell you the difference, okay? My wife, my kids, my house, everything involving my life is together, is a package. That's where the love starts, right? Now, when my daughter or my son go off to college, a piece of that goes with it, right? Like my wife holds a certain percentage of me. Now, first of all, I'm gonna know, I'm not gonna delusion myself to know that this woman is flawless. This woman is not gonna go out and do anything to hurt me. No, no, no. I'm gonna stay visual. I'm not gonna go look for nothing, but I know what's was capable. I'm not gonna sell no dream. I'm not gonna go out there and think see some superwoman. I'm not. Because that's the part that that love stuff that gets you when you find out that that person is just human, that that person did some stuff that that you thought in your mind that it would never happen. You have to prepare yourself, okay, for that outcome. The reason why you sat there crying and can't move on with your life and blame everybody but yourself is because you put this person on a pedestal. I didn't do that. Now, like I said, when my daughter, my son, goes to college, is that percentage goes with them. My wife percentage stays the same, but it goes with them. It's stronger together. As long as they're in their house, my love for my wife, guess what? It's about the strongest thing ever. But once they leave, pieces go with that. Okay? If my wife comes up to me and say, hey, you did your job, I did my job. I took care of the kids, I did this, you helped me with my mom, you you did this for my family, yada, yada, yada, yada, whatever it is, and say, look, we had a good run at it. Let's go. You could go ahead and live yours. I could go live my life. Guess what? I'ma sit down normal and we're gonna hash that shit out. I'm gonna give her what she deserves, or she, you know, we're gonna talk it out. That's between us. And we'll be okay. But a lot of you is gonna jump off a bridge, a lot of you gonna take some pills, a lot of you is gonna wreck your life because you were stuck in that little fairy tale land and still steady learning how to separate that. Look, I'm not saying I wouldn't be disappointed if I found my wife cheating. I would be more mad with myself because we done been together for what, 18 years now. Meaning that I done put in the work to build myself up, meaning I had 18 years to make myself look more than anybody else. And it ain't with money or nothing like that. I build myself up to her, and I got an 18-year advantage over the next person. So I I'm gonna go through all that, you know, in in in in future podcast episodes, because it's a lot. It really is. And I'm I don't know if everybody's hanging on what I'm trying to say, but after you land all this important stuff that you think is important to you, and you you find this person you might might might want make it work, and you just keep going. The only thing is that once that person does something totally that's on your list that just not gonna work, you gotta let it go quick. Don't waste your time. There's a lot of people right now in relationships that they're just wasting their time. They just know that they ain't good, they ain't perfect for each other at all, and they just setting there and just day-to-day, and that's when fidelity starts. That's when people start to cheat. That's when, because, because the fit ain't there. You know, you only hung in because of the kids. You only hung in because of the money. You only hung in because everybody thinks that y'all should just be together. So you didn't want to disappoint them. Right now, you probably listening to this podcast knowing that you with the wrong person. And this person just don't fit you at all. But you hate to go out and start over. You know how long it took me, Ken, to find someone that I could leave the door open while I sat on the toilet? Yeah, I know. And then I'm gonna have to retrain all that again. You know how long it's been, Ken, since I could pass gas and think it's funny with my mate. It's hard to start. I get it. I get it. I get it. But if I tell you to stay in it just because of that, would you look at me right? Would you look look at me side eye like how could you tell me that? So I'm not gonna tell you that. All right? I know what some of you might be saying. Like, if you're not totally, truly, like deep in love with your wife, what keep you from cheating? Well, I tell you what. Because it's a rarity. It's not, it's not when you find someone that's perfectly fit you, you don't want to lose that because it's hard to find that again. It's hard. You don't put in this much work to mess it up. Do some people might go out there and cheat? Yeah, I can't do 100% with it. But what I'm telling you, I don't want to because I know what's out there. I know that sex is just sex. I understand that there's good sex and there's bad sex, but if you don't been with someone, let's just say two, three years, you know each other. Meaning that you could go to your mate and tell them what you piqued your interest and that'll help. You don't it's not big asses and big titties, pretty faces, and all that. That's all in your mind. Being my age at this point in time, I wish I knew what I know now that I know back then. Because all I did was chase big asses, pretty faces, and none of that shit don't at this point don't I don't care. If people out here, the younger kids is out here listening to this, it's gonna make sense. Part of your attraction that you tell yourself is because you attracted to somebody looks, but I tell you what, when you find somebody that fits you, and that person there give you what you earn in life that that you've been looking for, best sex in the world. And guess what? If it's too big, too small, if it's it's not enough time, not you know, 15 minutes, you want an hour. Guess what? Guess what? There's things today out there today to help all of that. Nobody got to know what's going on in your bedroom. Nobody got to know how kinky you are. Nobody has to know. The most important thing, I'm just trying to tell you, and I know a lot of you would disagree, that sex is not the most important thing. Meaning that you find your fit and you work with the rest. If you got to take her hand or his hand and you go to a one of them stores or shit, I think they're doing online now. You just get some some help. I'm no back in my days they used to have fantasy parties. I don't know if that goes on no more. I don't know. You know, like I said, I I ain't getting charity horses at this age. Now, if you want something a turn where you could you could also teach your mate how you like it. Okay, I don't want to make this all about sex. I just want to know that it's not that important as you think it is. Let me tell you else where the fit actually helps you.

The 80 20 Rule For Peace

SPEAKER_01 30:43

Let me tell you that. Would you believe if I tell you it makes you a better person? Would you believe that? Would you believe if I tell you the thing that I'm talking about, the subject that I own, the what I'm trying to teach, would make you a better person too? Let me explain. All right. And we're gonna dive deeper into it in in future podcasts, but I just want to give you a little zip of what I'm trying to say, and I have to use myself because I believe that you know, using me as an example with my relationship with my wife shows you a better view of what I'm trying to say. Even though my wife, that 80% that I keep mentioning, that's the most important thing to me, that 20%, that 20%, I'm gonna tell you like this. If you don't fix yourself, that 20% will still drive you crazy to affect that 80%. And I'm gonna tell you this. I'm gonna for example, my wife, and I might have mentioned this before, have a thing of forgetting a lot. I will tell you this. My wife will call you at the grocery store, ask you what you want, and still won't even come home with it. Now, that's the kick part of it that I learned that the 80% are so strong that I'm not gonna even worry about the 20. I'm not gonna make her feel bad about the 20. I'm not gonna ravel her about the 20. Because what that do, if that, for example, if she forgets something and come home and I say, Well, my stuff at and she says, dog, baby, I forgot it again. I blow up, oh man, I told you, I called you, I dad. You know what that does? That belittle a person to make that person be too doggone afraid to make more mistakes, and so they shut down. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go and I'm gonna say, baby, that's okay. I will get up and go to the store and grab it. Now, she might feel bad and say, no, no, no, no, I forgot, I go get it. Look, we'll both go get it. I am not gonna belittle her, call her out her name and all that, because that does not help anything. Now, when I'm saying it make you a better person because I used to do it to my relationships in the past. I used to lash out, and that lash out to what I'm thinking and made me grow, that made me grow is that it never helps. It never do nothing but belittle a person and make them feel shitty, make you make them make you feel inferior to yourself and make them just feel bad. And guess what you're gonna get? Poor performance. You're gonna get poor performance. You are. You don't want poor performance, you want to keep people up and and their spirits up and letting them know that you are in their corner. Now, see, me and my wife have been doing it for so long, and I never lashed out on her, and I let her know it's okay to make those mistakes. And guess what? It comes back to help me too. We laugh about it, we joke about it. You know, my wife might make little comments. Well, you know who, you know me. I got to live with me too, baby. All we do is laugh. And she's not afraid to make keep making those mistakes because her relationship is not in jeopardy because of it. And it also boosts up her morale to be better for you. All I'm saying is that if you continue to be that way, that you continue to be forgiveness, you for, you know, you don't lash out, you become that person. You know how they say if you something for over so long, you become that? Well, guess what? Even though I had bad relationships in the past and I did exactly what I say, I lash out, I cursed, I call them the B word, I called out all kind of stuff. And guess what? It didn't help. They became defensive. So anytime that I say something out of my mouth, they got defensive. Think about what I'm saying. Every time you go to your wife or your mate or whatever, and you say something that trigger them, they're gonna try to defend it right quick. They might say something real quick, might say something like you two, you did the same thing. They're looking for something to validate they mess up because you done jumped on them too much. Too much. Let it go. It's not the 80% you should be, you know, worrying about. That 20%, throw it away. Clap on it, be happy about it, kiss them after they do that 20%. All them little pet peeves you got, throw it out the door. Throw it out the door, find a way to love it. And guess what? I promise you, because I'm the testimony of it, I promise you that you will forget about it and you become the person that you are gonna think is cute. You are gonna kiss her on the head when she does it. You you're gonna be that happy go lucky person. I promise you that. Promise. My wife is a beautiful person. Not because of looks, not because of her size. It's because she's a beautiful person to me because she fits me well. Fits me. I'm not going nowhere. I'm not gonna do anything because I'm happy to be around.

COVID Divorces And Relationship Fit

SPEAKER_01 36:24

You know, because like I say, I'm a truck driver, I'll be gone a lot. But during COVID, I was home. And my when people in COVID, you know how many people divorced during COVID? You know how many people that got broken home because they had to stay home and be with each other? I love my wife. When I was home, we had fun. We did goofy stuff, me, her, and the kids. It even got me even stronger with her because she didn't get on my nerves like that. You know how many athletes out there that be on that road, basketball player, football player, be gone half of the year, and when they retire, they go home and they home all the time, and then you hear about a year or two later that they getting divorced. I don't have to say it. You know what's happening. Those persons was not a perfect fit for each other. Them people got used to you going and spending your money. It ain't about that. I'm not gonna go no deeper into that, but y'all know what I'm saying. If you to ask any one of those people that when they separated, that they was love with each other, they'll tell you, I love him, I love her. But it was not a perfect fit because they would still be together. That person finally found out who they was married to once they made it home. They they found out the real person and found out that they don't like that person. That's what happened. They found out, well, man, what did I do? How did I fall in love with him? Look at him picking in his nose and look at the hair growing out of his ears. They didn't care. They thought that they were head over heels about something other than being the perfect fit. And guess what? They did it backwards. They took the 20% and didn't worry about the 80%. And we probably all know what that 20% was. It probably with the looks, the money, something that that destroys relationship if you ain't got the fit. And it shows. Just look it up. It shows. Finding a mate is like a puzzle. The pieces got to fit in there. And you know what happens once you try to jam a piece that don't fit. It bends and it breaks. It don't go in correctly. That's the same thing in a relationship. Just think about what I'm saying before you start planning your life with someone and wasting your time. You only got one life to live, and you better live it with the person that commends you the most. Think about what I'm saying, y'all. Think about it. I'm gonna go ahead and let it

Closing Thanks And Message Invite

SPEAKER_01 39:25

go now. Put this episode out. I know it's been a while. I'm sorry. Things been going on. I'm not gonna keep making excuses, but I will try to put things out a little faster. All right. And I don't know what's the next episode gonna be right now, because you know, I'm gonna listen to this one back. There's some key points that I do want to hit on a little more. So I will find out, you know, when I know you know, and I would put it out there, okay? Thank y'all. Once again, y'all are very, very how do I want to put it? Y'all are appreciated. I really do. My listeners, I love y'all. Keep on listening, okay? And I'll be back, and God bless. God bless.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

They told you love's a fairy tale, a dream you gotta chase, a night and shiny on the ride to save the day. The real love ain't gonna rescue. It ain't a perfect scene. It's fine, it's almost all it'll make you feel seat. I don't wait, all the way, I don't think so.