Building Core Relationships: Lessons from 43 Years of Marriage

What's the secret to 43 years of marriage? It's a question I found myself reflecting on this week as Linda and I celebrated another year together. Time seems to accelerate with each passing anniversary, prompting me to revisit a story I wrote for my StoryWorth collection about relationship advice.

The foundation of our enduring marriage isn't just mutual attraction – though I'm still drawn to Linda's beauty just as I was at 17. What's sustained us through four decades is our commitment to shared experiences. From teaching Sunday school together in our early years to leading marriage events and eventually finding common purpose through our work in Haiti, these joint ventures have strengthened our bond in profound ways. We've mastered the art of supporting each other's passions – I embrace her love of dancing, she accompanies me to auto races. We've learned to gauge the importance of requests with a simple 1-10 scale, ensuring we prioritize what truly matters to each other.

Beyond marriage, I've discovered the value of carefully selecting who enters your core circle. The most enriching relationships come from people who make deposits into your life account – individuals who share common interests, hold you accountable, speak truth, respond in times of need, and listen without judgment. They encourage your dreams and make you better just by being present. As you consider your own relationships, seek those who fill your life bucket rather than depleting it, recognizing that some connections are seasonal while others last a lifetime. Connect with me at dantheroadtripguy.com to share your own relationship insights or adventures – I'd love to hear how you're building meaningful connections in your life journey.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Dan the Road Trip Guy
• 0:24 43 Years of Marriage Reflections
• 1:07 Secrets to a Lasting Relationship
• 2:42 Finding Your Core Circle
• 4:35 Episode Closing and Contact Info

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Welcome to Dan the Road Trip Guy. I'm your host, dan, and each week we'll embark on a new adventure, discovering memories and life lessons of our incredible guests, from everyday travelers to thrill seekers and everyone in between. This podcast is your front row seat to inspiring stories of passion, resilience and the pursuit of happiness. So buckle up and enjoy the ride. This past week, linda and I celebrated our 43rd wedding anniversary. Always seems a little crazy as the years go by, and they seem to go by a little bit quicker. That took me down a path of looking back at mystoryworthcom. As you know, if you've listened before, lauren gave me this gift for Christmas in 2023. 53 questions. She prompted me with one each week and one additional one at the end. I dug through and I found one what is your best relationship advice? And here's how the story went.

Speaker 1: 1:02

When I read this question, my first thought was my relationship with Linda. I'll get to other relationships in a moment. I am sure I was drawn to Linda's beauty when we were 17 years old. What 17-year-old boy isn't drawn to the beauty of a girl? After when I wrote this, it was 42 and a half years of marriage. Now it's 43 years. I am still drawn to her beauty, but our relationship goes much deeper. It has become about how we compliment, encourage and love one another. We were once asked how we have sustained our marriage, and the one thing I could come up with is the common things we do together. Early on, we taught Sunday school together. Later, we led marriage events and finally Haiti became something that pulled us together. Later, we led marriage events and finally Haiti became something that pulled us together.

Speaker 1: 1:47

We both have our own interest, but we sport each other's interest by participating. I love auto racing and Linda does too, though not as much as I do. She is willing to ride along with my passion. We take dance lessons and Linda drove that new activity. I've always wanted to learn and I'm happy to join her in that, but probably not something I would have done on my own. We have both introduced each other to new things. We continually have encouraged each other to be better. We once read in a marriage book that if one person wants to do something and the other does not, then score it. The one who doesn't want to go along should ask the other person. On a scale of one to ten, how important is this to you? Relationships are about give and take. Sometimes we do things we don't enjoy and sometimes we do. We both love to travel and to hike. We both love movies. We love to spend time with friends. We walk together. We still dream together. The bottom line for the endurance of our relationship has been shared experience.

Speaker 1: 2:46

I once heard you only need a few people in your core circle. My advice, when you're looking for other relationships other than that important one to your spouse, is to look for people who are going to make deposits into your life account. These will be people with common interests. These will be people who hold you accountable for your goals and dreams. These are people who you can trust with confidentiality. These are people who will speak truth into your life. These are people who, if you're in trouble, they will respond. These are people who you can pick up right where you left off, even though it may have only been hours or maybe years. These are the people who reach out from time to time to simply check in. These are the people who are great listeners and who can give advice based on their experiences and not their opinions. These are the people who will do things you enjoy when maybe they don't. These are the people who will listen to your crazy dreams and encourage you to dream more. These are the people who make you better.

Speaker 1: 3:46

As I write about the qualities I look for in a relationship, I check myself to ensure I am the type of friend and worthy to be in someone else's core circle. I must remember that some relationships are for a season and some are for a lifetime, and both are important. The best relationship advice I could give to anyone is find people with common interests. Find people who are open to new ideas and ways of viewing things. Find people who don't change your core beliefs. Find people who know how to dream. Find people who are positive. Find people who will fill your life bucket. It can be easy to have relationship with lots of people. It is harder to have core relationships with only a few people.

Speaker 1: 4:27

I hope you enjoyed this. I hope you have these type of people in your life If you're married. I hope you have shared experiences with your spouse. Until we catch up again, have a great day. Thank you for tuning in to Dan the Road Trip Guy. I hope you enjoyed our journey today and the stories that were shared. If you have any thoughts or questions or stories of your own, I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to reach out to me anytime. Don't forget to share this podcast with your friends and family and help us to spread the joy of road trips and great conversations. Until next time, keep driving, keep exploring and keep having those amazing conversations. Safe travels, and remember you can find me on the internet at dantheroadtripguycom.