Childfree Life by Design

The Myth of the Maternal Instinct | Dr. Jay Zigmont, CFP® & Dr. Amy Blackstone

Childfree Insights Episode 204

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0:00 | 37:34

There's a particular kind of quiet worry that comes with being Childfree, the suspicion that everyone else received some piece of wiring you're missing. Dr. Amy Blackstone spent her mid-30s certain she was broken as a woman, and she went looking for the research to explain what had gone wrong with her. What she found became her life's work. There is no maternal instinct waiting to switch on, and the majority of Childfree people she interviewed had opted out for a reason that genuinely surprised her: they watched their parents do it well, understood exactly what good parenting asks of a person, and chose to put their energy somewhere else. She joins Dr. Jay Zigmont, CFP® for a conversation that runs from the political noise around falling birth rates to what the research actually says about regret, and lands on the thing that reframes everything. If you feel wrong, it may be because you've been measuring yourself against the wrong population.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

  • Why there is no scientific basis for the maternal instinct, and how the absence of that supposed pull leaves so many people convinced something is wrong with them
  • The biggest surprise in Dr. Amy Blackstone's research, that most Childfree people she interviewed had good childhoods and opted out precisely because they saw how much good parenting requires
  • What the research actually shows about regret, why the distinction between Childfree and Childless matters so much, which group does report unhappiness later in life, and how that compares to the share of parents who regret having kids
  • Why measuring your life against the standard life script guarantees you'll feel like you're doing it wrong, and how comparing yourself to the right population changes the entire picture
  • How stigma around the Childfree choice has shifted over the decades, what today's pronatalist politics and policy fights look like, and why roughly a quarter of the country remains almost entirely underserved

Resources Mentioned: 

Laura Carroll, Childfree author and advocate who revitalized International Childfree Day: https://childfreeinsights.com/resources/podcast/episode-74/ 

Marcia Drut-Davis, author of Confessions of a Childfree Woman:
https://www.amazon.com/stores/Marcia-Drut-Davis/author/B08429L4CL 

The Childfree Path to a Healthier Planet | Jay Zigmont, PhD, MBA, CFP® | TEDxWilsonPark: https://youtu.be/ltZpfHCpHPg?si=38LrZlkf4oMGWyE8 

Episode Guest:

Dr. Amy Blackstone is a public sociologist who studies and writes about reproductive justice, population trends, workplace sexual harassment, activism and other forms of civic engagement, power and politics, and any other topic that strikes her fancy, hits the news, or gets myopic dingdongs with too much power riled up. In recent years, much of her focus has been dedicated to the COVID-19 pandemic and what's been left in its wake: a silent but no less crushing aftershock, an illness known as Long COVID, that has claimed millions, snatching her from public life, while the world carries on as if nothing has happened. Her book, CHILDFREE BY CHOICE (Penguin Random House) enraged pronatalists the world over, a career highlight. Dr. Blackstone worked as a professor of sociology at the University of Maine for a quarter century and she now looks forward to a future of retirement and troublemaking.

Connect with Dr. Amy Blackstone:

Website: amyblackstonephd.com
Instagram: instagram.com/a.maria.blackstone/
Childfree by Choice by Dr. Amy Blackstone
https://www.amazon.com/stores/Amy-Blackstone/author/B07T7TM4DT 

Episode Host:

Dr. Jay Zigmont, CFP® (he/him) is the Founder of Childfree Wealth, a life and financial planning firm dedicated to helping people simplify their finances so they can live an amazing Childfree life. Dr. Jay is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER®, Childfree Wealth Specialist, and author of the book "The Childfree Guide to Life and Money."

About Childfree Insights:

Childfree Insights focuses on planning for solo aging and later life without children. It offers trusted education on financial planning, estate planning, and building support systems for people aging independently. Home of Childfree Wealth® and Childfree Trust®.

Connect with Us:

Ready to work on building better financial habits? Connect with our financial planning team at childfreewealth.com or learn more about estate planning at childfreetrust.com.

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Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational & entertainment purposes. Please consult your advisor before implementing any ideas heard on this podcast.