Previa Alliance Podcast
There are few experiences as universal to human existence as pregnancy and childbirth, and yet its most difficult parts — perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) — are still dealt with in the shadows, shrouded in stigma. The fact is 1 in 5 new and expecting birthing people will experience a PMAD, yet among those who do many are afraid to talk about it, some are not even aware they’re experiencing one, and others don’t know where to turn for help. The fact is, when someone suffers from a maternal mental health disorder it affects not only them, their babies, partners, and families - it impacts our communities.
In the Previa Alliance Podcast series, Sarah Parkhurst and Whitney Gay are giving air to a vastly untapped topic by creating a space for their guests — including survivors of PMADs and healthcare professionals in maternal mental health — to share their experiences and expertise openly. And in doing so, Sarah and Whitney make it easy to dig deep and get real about the facts of perinatal mental health, fostering discussions about the raw realities of motherhood. Not only will Previa Alliance Podcast listeners walk away from each episode with a sense of belonging, they’ll also be armed with evidence-based tools for healing, coping mechanisms, and the language to identify the signs and symptoms of PMADs — the necessary first steps in a path to treatment. The Previa Alliance Podcast series is intended for anyone considering pregnancy, currently pregnant, and postpartum as well as the families and communities who support them.
Sarah Parkhurst
Previa Alliance Podcast Co-host; Founder & CEO of Previa Alliance
A postpartum depression survivor and mom to two boys, Sarah is on a mission to destigmatize the experiences of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), and to educate the world on the complex reality of being a mom. Sarah has been working tirelessly to bring to light the experiences of women who have not only suffered a maternal mental health crisis but who have survived it and rebuilt their lives. By empowering women to share their own experiences, by sharing expert advice and trusted resources, and by advocating for health care providers and employers to provide support for these women and their families, Sarah believes as a society we can minimize the impact of the current maternal mental health crisis, while staving off future ones.
Whitney Gay
Previa Alliance Podcast Co-host; licensed clinician and therapist
For the past ten years, Whitney has been committed to helping women heal from the trauma of a postpartum mental health crisis as well as process the grief of a miscarriage or the loss of a baby. She believes that the power of compassion paired with developing critical coping skills helps moms to heal, rebuild, and eventually thrive. In the Previa Alliance Podcast series, Whitney not only shares her professional expertise, but also her own personal experiences of motherhood and recovery from grief.
Follow us on Instagram @Previa.Alliance
Previa Alliance Podcast
Why are you really posting that?
The holidays fill our feeds with matching pajamas and picture-perfect trees—but what’s really behind the post? In this episode, Sarah and Whitney unpack why we really post on Instagram, how scrolling impacts mental health, and the pressure moms feel to curate perfection. Plus, a simple reflection tool to help you check in after scrolling and protect your peace this season. Because the most important moments may never make it to Instagram—and that’s okay.
Happy holidays, guys. Welcome to Preview Lions Podcast. This is Sarah, and I have our almost Santa here, Whitney, who is basically the gift of mental health to us all. We are in the week of you celebrate Christmas. We are of the week of Christmas. And we thought we'd step on your toes a little bit. I'm gonna be a Grinch. Am I the Grinch now? Okay, I'm the Grinch. You can be, but the Grinch doesn't the movie comes back and it's you know, redemption. So we'll let you be a little bit Grinch and then pull you out of it.
SPEAKER_02:But the title would be growing this.
SPEAKER_01:It will. We should we should paddle that with a Grinch. But our title currently is why are you really posting that on Instagram?
SPEAKER_02:Or socials.
SPEAKER_01:We can fill that or socials or you know, what the young kids are doing these days is like threads or you know, those like things I'm not aware of because I'm not right a young child.
SPEAKER_02:I wonder how many social media apps I'm gonna be on.
SPEAKER_01:So essentially, though, right, it is the season. You've seen it, you've seen the matching outfits, you've seen the created photo tree picture, you've seen the family fall photos, you've seen the Instagram stories or the Facebook stories, the cookies or the hot chocolate, and you're going, you're seeing it, right? And then you're probably raising our hands guilty of sharing those moments too. Yeah, absolutely. I've done it. Well, but why are we doing it?
SPEAKER_02:Right. So there's a lot of different reasons for it. So I know for me personally, not all of my family is local. They don't always get to see us at the holidays. And so for me to be able to post some of those family updates, you know, that's a good way for them to see it and for them to stay connected with us. I don't always do professional pictures each year. So when we do get them done, it is special to me. I do kind of want to show them off a little bit because it makes me happy that we were able to do it that year. So some of it is honestly just that genuine you want to share your life, you want to be able to connect. Sometimes you're excited about how maybe the Santa pictures turned out, things of that nature. That being said, sometimes it there's that twinge of, well, I have to compete too. Yeah. You know, especially, and this is my own personal little soapbox and has been for many years. The, you know, the pictures where people have their living rooms just packed wall to wall with toys. And I mean, we're talking like 50 plus toys for their kids. And they're like big toys, expensive toys, things like that. And you know what? They very well may have the same intentions of we're excited we were able to do this for our kids. They very well could be thinking that, but a lot of people are like, oh, Mary Sue posted that. You know what? I need to do it too. Yeah. And it can turn into a competition thing. But you know what? Mary Sue doesn't know that I feel like I'm in competition with her. Right. She probably has not a clue in the world. Therefore, I'm actually hurting myself when I do it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, a hundred percent. And something that I was seeing here, and it doesn't tell me who wrote this, but it says social media is the ultimate highlight reel. Don't compare it to your behind the scenes, right? And it's like, are you posting to connect? Are you posting to be seen?
SPEAKER_02:Correct.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. It's like, are you posting to percent, you know, a certain way? Like I'm gonna have mom, I'm doing it. And even if we get into the brain aspect of it, the dopamine loop, the likes, so social media notifications, like it activates the brain's reward system. Like it's kind of like a dopamine release, right? So the likes, the comments, the you know, it happens. You post something and you almost wait a few minutes, or you'll get the notification, especially if it's you know, of your kids, or it's a funny, or it's a good thing. Your mind gets trained for that quick reward of, oh, well, Whitney liked it, or so-and-so commented it, and you look, right? And you kind of get stuck in this scroll of absolutely approval. And let's be honest, you love it when your friends compliment it, or you love it when the person's like, that's the cutest, right? That's not a negative, but when we live in this alternate universe of social media, and we're maybe not getting the connection with our family, or you're leaving you're feeling isolated, or you're you're doing the am I doing good enough in your head? It's a quick kind of way to get validation that people don't realize.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, absolutely. Well, and it kind of lends itself to that dopamine chasing.
SPEAKER_01:You are, yeah. No, you're chasing it because we have lost the dopamine of just going outside and looking at the sky and saying that's a beautiful sunset.
SPEAKER_02:Right. Or just, you know, smelling the flowers. Yeah, we've lost the symbol of it. Right. It's that constant chasing where the phone or the tablet or laptop is the only way that you're getting that. And so you have to be very mindful that that's not the healthiest way to get your dopamine up.
SPEAKER_01:No, and people maybe even realize they go, well, dopamine. I didn't even realize that was a thing. I didn't think that's happening, but it does. And especially, okay, especially in this time of season, some of the statistics I think important to like talk about is the comparison trap, like, right? So 60% of people report feeling inadequate after comparing themselves to another person on social media. So say I looked at Whitney's thing, I'm like, gosh, Whitney's an amazing mom. I know Whitney's amazing mom, but I see it on Instagram. I'm like, whoa, she's a super amazing mom today. And then I compared that to maybe I just lost my, you know, lost my patience with my child, right? And so then I don't have to do that. Never, we'd ever. And then we go through this loop of inadequacy of feeling guilty, I'm feeling not good about myself. And then I post something and I'm like, like, like, like, oh, she's a great mom. And then it's it's this weird cycle.
SPEAKER_02:It is. It is a very weird cycle because again, it's this comparison trap, and social media is literally designed to make us do that. 100% the algorithm. And I think it's you know not coincidental at all that we see obviously this increased usage of cell phones and social media and all of this, and we start to see that increase of depression and anxiety and OCD. Come on now. Like there is an absolute direct connection and correlation with that.
SPEAKER_01:Well, the anxious generation that book, which is great. And there has been studies, and one showed, you know, specifically with moms, that frequent social media usage, which is in social comparison, is linked to higher depressive symptoms and lower self-esteem. And they said nearly 71% of users admit they only post the best part of their life. Okay, I'm not posting every time I have an issue. You know, you you don't, and that's reality. But it's very hard if that's all you're saying, is a very created highlight reel to check in and go, that's not their life. That's two minutes of their life today.
SPEAKER_02:I saw correct. And that's where we have to be very careful and mindful about influencers. Yep. Because quite literally, their job is to influence you to be like them. They are going to curate this perfection that one is not real.
SPEAKER_01:And they want you to buy what they're wearing, right?
SPEAKER_02:And it's not attainable. Their job is to influence you to buy these organizers, buy this cleaner, buy this clothing that I've got, buy this makeup, buy these super greens, you know, buy whatever it is under the sun that I'm trying to promote to you because that's my job.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. But we get lost that that's their job, and that's how they're feeding their family, and this is where they're in position. And we always get this unhealthy of like, they're a real friend, they're not a real friend, but like we're going, you know, you're just going to you get lost as a job. Like you forget that that that's happening. Right. Absolutely. So I think that's huge. And then holiday pressure adds in. And they've also studied this, it was in the motherly state of motherhood report. Nearly three in five moms say social media increases the pressure to do it all during the holiday. So if we didn't have enough, you log out, you scroll, and then that pressure spikes again. Or, you know, you see the homemade cookies when you're like, I bought the take home bake. Your kids don't know any different. There's no there's no difference in joy or experience there. You're putting that on yourself. Correct. So that goes back down to are we validating and seeking care whitney on a deeper issue, or do you think it's just we're getting kind of lost in the noise?
SPEAKER_02:I think we're getting lost in the noise, and it's very easy for that to happen because the noise is constant.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Now, if we want to take it at a deeper level, you know, maybe the attention that you're seeking from social media posts is because you weren't given a ton of quality attention from your parents or caregivers growing up. Absolutely that could be the case. I'm not gonna say that it's not, but I do think we get so lost in the noise, and the noise is constant, and the noise is always accessible. Yeah, always our phones are there 24-7.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:You know, and I'm just as guilty as anybody else, but like when is the last time we actually turned our phone off?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Intentionally and said it away. When is the last time we did that?
SPEAKER_01:I do yearly with our church a uh 21 days of prayer, and I love that they start it in January, and I intentionally get off social media. And I would challenge everybody if you haven't done, and it doesn't have to be for 21 days, it doesn't have to be extensive period of time, even a weekend of just present with your family or your own thoughts, which I think we are struggling to be present with our own thoughts and be okay, and it's okay to not have constant stimulation, it's okay for our kids to be bored, it's okay for us to be bored, right?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it's a problem when we don't know how to handle boredom boredom.
SPEAKER_01:Or if you have seen yourself bring your phone in the bathroom when it's time to shower or you're using the restroom. Yeah, that's a we can't take that break, which we're all guilty of wanting to be connected to. That's a thing. But one thing, if you guys are more interested in it, is that you can kind of do this reflection of what your mood is or how you're feeling prior to opening up whatever social media app and then after. And you can kind of ask yourself, you know, what's my move right now? Do I feel energized? Do I feel drained? Do I inspired, disconnected, numb? Did it make me feel more connected, less connected? Did it make me feel better about myself or less? Right. Do I feel pressure after this to change something about me? Right. Or if I'm going to post this, like why? Is it to share the joy, to share it to the family members, like you were saying, to prove something, to get approval, to save a memory? You know, and what could I do now in this moment instead of scrolling again?
SPEAKER_02:Right. Well, and I will also say this, and this is just a me personal thing, I tend to step back from social medias during political campaign time because and and this is just me, like both sides tend to mudsling. And honestly, it's just not positive, it's not building anybody up, and I don't really want that influx and that constant stream of negativity. So that's where I do minimal social media kind of thing. Like, and I try not to follow political influencers or you know, things of that nature. That way I'm keeping that as at bay as possible. It's I mean, we can't eliminate all of it because bots, ads, all the things, the algorithm, like it's there.
SPEAKER_00:It's there.
SPEAKER_02:So we can't fully avoid it unless we just get off social media, which is also an option. But know what things could kind of trigger you, know what time of year things might be triggering for you and realize okay, is that a time of year where I need to just lay off the socials?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. And there are times if you're a new mom, I sometimes I don't think that's the best time to be on social media. If your child's going through a hard time, that may not be. If this is their first holiday without a loved one and seeing everybody's families, it's gonna be really triggering. So just really doing that check, but but try a day pause, try 48 hours and give yourself that opportunity, and you will figure out other ways to have that dopamine, that good exercise, going outside, you know, smelling flowers, having a great conversation. It can be that warm cup of coffee in the morning. But hopefully, this challenged you guys to kind of look at social media in a different level of if this is it healthy, is it benefiting me? Is this making me feel worse about myself, or are you totally okay with it? That could be some of our listeners too. Absolutely. But it's a great episode. I think in the new year we'll dive deeper into some of these issues. But for now, have a happy holidays and we'll be back.
SPEAKER_00:Thanks. Maternal mental health is as important as physical health. The Preview Alliance podcast was created for and by moms dealing with postpartum depression and all its variables like anxiety, anger, and even apathy. Hosted by CEO, founder Sarah Parkers, and licensed clinical social worker Whitney Gay, each episode focuses on specific issues relevant to pregnancy and postpartum. Join us and hear how other moms have overcome mental health challenges as well as access tips and suggestions on dealing with your own challenges as moms. You can also browse our podcast library and listen to previous episodes at any time. Please know you're not alone on this journey. We're here to help.