D.K. And Tree Podcast
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D.K. And Tree Podcast
Dating Disasters: Heightened Expectations, Chaotic Encounters, and Wild Tales of Modern Romance
Ever found yourself wondering if modern dating really is "trash" or just misunderstood? We dive headfirst into the wild world of dating mishaps, starting with our own cringe-worthy stories and those of our listeners. From my entanglement with an older woman in Baltimore to Tree's chaotic seven-year dating spree, we pull no punches in sharing the bizarre and the bewildering. Our audience joins the fun, sharing tales that prove love can be as unpredictable as it is amusing.
But it’s not all about the drama; we also tackle the lighter side of dating dilemmas, like navigating the tricky terrain of height preferences. Inspired by an encounter with someone who didn’t quite measure up to their claims, we ponder the importance of comfort and chemistry over societal expectations. With plenty of laughter and playful banter, we question whether divine matchmaking is at play when choosing partners based on height—or if it's all just a cosmic joke.
Finally, strap in for some unbelievable adventures featuring unexpected twists, from a so-called kidnapping in Memphis to a visit to a peculiar Philly house with more wildlife than you'd find in a zoo. Through these nostalgic narratives, we reflect on the life lessons these experiences have offered. It's an episode filled with humor, a touch of absurdity, and the unpredictable nature of opening oneself up to the dating world. Plus, there's a hint at what Tree might be up to after the episode wraps up—stay tuned!
The Power of the Power, of the Power of the Power of All. Right, good evening, good evening. Where is everybody at when y'all been? We've been waiting for y'all on Wednesday. Well, it's Tree's fault. Tonight it's her fault. So hey, it's your dynamic dude. We're here, dk and Tree Podcast on the air full effect. You know we're here with this beautiful, beautiful Wednesday. You know we love to come talk and we love to hear from you.
D.K.:So, our topic tonight is your worst dating experiences and relationships. Tish hello, that is our topic tonight your worst dating experiences and dating and relationships experiences, because I'm pretty sure we got a whole bunch of them. I thought about it all week and I said, man, I really had two bad ones, but they weren't actually dating, they were actually in relationships. I was like, oh yeah, A little spicy Top it. Good evening to you, how are you?
TREE :I had a headache.
D.K.:Always liars. You had a headache. Those are the biggest ones Always liars, lying about everything. I get you. Uh-oh, did you freeze on me? At what age do we start playing games? That's a good question. That's a good question. I think I lost Tree here for a second, but yeah, we actually have an open forum here because we want to talk about what was your worst dating experience in your relationship experience. Like I said, I have two and I actually sat down and I talked about it or whatever. I think I lost tree for a second. I'll wait till she comes back, but yeah, I tell you, it just amazes me on. You know what you go through in a date when you date someone, and what you go through. Let's see, apt dating is dead.
TREE :You think?
D.K.:so you think so. I mean, we've talked about the modern dating of today. As far as the modern dating, how, that's trash. The modern dating is trash. No, there's no Anthrobus. The modern dating is trash, you know, because how can you properly court someone or be with someone or just like this, simple things, just for dating. Like you know, we talk about just something as simple as, hey, opening the car door or opening a door period, just simple stuff with dating. Or you just meeting up, just saying everything, you saying all of it, I get it, I get it.
D.K.:So it's like I said, we want to hear what was your dating experience? Hey, hey, hey, tawanda, how are you? Tria will be back in a second. I think she was having some connection issues, so I'm just waiting for her to get back, then we'll start the stories off. I'll probably start off first with my worst dating. Well, relationship experience, because I would say they were relationship experiences two of them back in my past and I was like it was pretty bad. I was like it was, it was pretty bad. I was like but when you have somebody from the outside that can see what goes on on the inside, I'm like man, I didn't see this, oh Lord. Yeah, like I said, if anybody's tuning in, I'm just waiting for tree to get back on. But hey, hit the share button. Hey, share it off to your page. Here she is. I was waiting for you to come back.
D.K.:You made me restart my Wi-Fi and oh, it wasn't ready, but you said you were ready. I thought it was ready.
TREE :Oh, okay, I had technical difficulties all night.
D.K.:Yeah, operator.
TREE :What is that Leticia?
D.K.:Yeah. So my thing with this is again when what's happening, sir? Yeah, so Kimberly, hello. So again, we want to hear about your dating experiences. Again, we want you to come on. Hey, we've sent you a link, but hey, if you're camera shy, I got a phone number. You can call the phone number too. Just let us know the option and I'll put the phone number up on the screen. If you want to call in, you want to be on video, but we want to hear about your dating experience. Like I said, I have two, but I had the floor while you were gone.
TREE :Go ahead, I'll give you the floor. I didn't hear you, so you got to re-say it all.
D.K.:Oh Lord, have mercy. I was telling them about you know, what's your worst dating experiences? What's your worstial experiences? Also, because I would say mine was more relationship experience versus dating, so I'm going to talk about those two that I have. That was for me.
TREE :Well, I haven't been in a relationship in seven years, so I guess all mine is dating experience.
D.K.:Oh, dating Okay.
TREE :All right, the little bit of dating that I've been trying to do A crazy mofo.
D.K.:Hey, what's wrong with the crazy mofo? I want to hear this one. What's wrong with the crazy?
TREE :There's a lot of crazy people around here. There's a lot of crazy people out here now.
D.K.:It's just what level of crazy are you willing to deal with?
TREE :none of it, none of it bros bro selfishness selfishness.
D.K.:yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So I think I'll start off with one of mine. I start off with one of mine. This is back when I lived in Baltimore, so this was an older lady that I met. We were talking this was an old lady, older, older.
D.K.:She was older than me, older than me, so I met her. I forgot how we met. I really do. But I forgot how we met. I do. I forgot how we met. So we get to talking and we're you know, in our relationships, stuff like that. Now, when you feel as though that you really feeling somebody, you know you do things for them and with them, and stuff like that.
D.K.:Now I do remember where I was working. I was working at my diamond mall, right, lynn Lynn has made it so back then I'll never forget this I was making probably like $8 an hour, something like that. This was back in the 90s. So you know, you're dating this older lady, I'm dating this older lady. She was a nurse at the time and I was like, all right, cool. Now, if you're a nurse, I'm pretty sure you're making a lot more money than me, right? So you know, we she was pretty much manipulating me. I mean, she was she, she was the puppet master, she had the strings and she was pulling all the strings with me. Now, like I said, I'm only making about eight bucks an hour. Right, I was just forking up my whole paycheck back. I hear you, you need it.
TREE :I hear you want some money?
D.K.:Yeah, you can have it, you can have everything. And I'm getting to thinking like, well, damn, I don't have nothing for myself here or whatever. So, like I said, she was the puppet master, right.
TREE :So she was immersed and she was taking your $8 an hour. Yes, you was a fool.
D.K.:Yeah, I was a fool. Yeah, I was a fool, I had to agree with you. Like I said, you learn from your experiences. So you know going through and you know. Then you feel as though, hey, you know, this is my person, this is. You know, I'm doing everything I can for my person and then come to find out that this really wasn't my person Because, like I said, with the string she was pulling with me, she had five, six other dudes too, but I didn't really realize what this girl was into until we actually started splitting and we started, you know, getting into it, arguing and stuff like that. And I never forget. She left me a message one day on my phone I never forget this and she said if you keep fucking with me, you ain't going to be here much longer. I didn't give a fuck back then.
D.K.:I was like whatever, no big deal. So come to find out. When you start researching someone's history and everything because Merlin K Search is a mother, right, so I'm starting to research the history Come to found out. This girl was into some stuff. When I mean into some stuff, I'm talking kingpin charges, I'm talking gun charges.
D.K.:I'm like, oh my God, she could have took me. I was like, ooh, it just baffled me. I was like, oh, my goodness, I'm like this is the person that I was like, ooh, and I was. It, just it baffled me. I was like, oh, my goodness, I'm like this is the person that I was messing with and she was about to unalign my ass. Allegedly yeah, allegedly, I'm just saying she left a message on my phone. So I was like, oh, wow, so I really did care for that girl. So what was funny is when my mom was still here, she said, oh, I didn't think you had a heart. She said because this person really took you to town.
D.K.:And when I mean took me to town, took me to town, it was like I said she was the puppet master over me and, like I said, this was back in the 90s. So, yeah, I really learned from that situation. I was like, oh, I would never put myself in that kind of predicament again, that someone was pulling strings with me. But it gets me to my second story, which I'll dive on that one a little bit later. But it's like I said, she. It gets me to my second story, which I'll dive on that one a little bit later.
D.K.:But it's like I said, she really manipulated me. She did. I was putting in her hands. I was like, oh my God, but this girl was into some stuff that I didn't know about. And like I said now, you see what I do in my lifetime? I can't be around, no shit like that. So, yeah, she really took me to town. I do in my lifetime, I can't be around, no shit like that. So she really took me to town. I mean, took me to town. She gave me false hope, false promise. Right, it's like whatever, bye, see you later. I ain't have a K in the world. I said, damn, now I know how some of these women feel From this. Back then, tam hello.
D.K.:Hey Fitz, how you doing so it just showed me really the true person that she was back then. And then when you look back all these years later and I'm like, damn, I was really messed up over that. I was, I was messed up over that. She had me messed up because she manipulated me so bad. So that that was just bad. That was bad. Hey, marshae, hello, yeah. So I was like this. I was like this is bad for me. It was bad and like I said, you live and you learn. And that was like I said. That was back in the nineties and she was taking my little $8 an hour and I was giving it to her too, like here, here you go. Yeah, here you can have all of it. My $8.25 an hour, you can have all of it he wasn't stingy with the $8.
D.K.:I was not stingy with the $8.25 an hour.
TREE :You can have all of it you with the eight dollars I was not stingy with.
D.K.:But, like I said, she was definitely a puppet master and she manipulated me every which way she wanted to, to control me, to get what she wanted you. Then the crocodile tears. I'll never forget this one. I think she was in a car accident one day. I showed her at the hospital. There was another dude there. What the fuck is this? Like I said, she was a puppet master. Puppet master, I had to give it to her. She was great at her craft. Great at her craft. Like I said, my mom loved that one. She was like I didn't think you had a heart. She's like. This one got you Balling out of control. Yeah, so that was that's one of my stories.
D.K.:The second one. The second one was lovely, but I give you the floor. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Anyone that's in here. You want the floor Because, again, we want to hear from you. Also, if you don't want to come on video, we have a phone number where you can call into the show. You just let us know which one you prefer, because we can send you a link or I put a phone number on the screen. You call in and just give us your experience of what happened in, like I say a dating experience or a relationship experience, because again, we've all had them right. It is what it is. That's our past, but guess what? It doesn't define the person that you are today. Probably made you a better person than what you are today. Where's Angela at?
TREE :It don't matter. We're worried about the people that's here and in present.
D.K.:Yep, you want to go with a story? Come on. You always have good stories. You always have great dating stories.
TREE :I don't know. I don't want to talk too much because a lot of them are on my Facebook oh they are, yes, pick one Pick one, pick one. I have to deal with the consequences later. Y'all got to deal with consequences, mm-hmm, I don't want to put nobody in the street, just know they was not great.
D.K.:They wasn't great. Okay, give me a scenario.
TREE :What did I just say? Hey, listen, are you people on my Facebook page? Give me a scenario. What'd?
D.K.:I just say hey, listen.
TREE :People is on my Facebook page, hey wait a minute, block their asses. Welcome in. He trying to get me to tell my business On this app. And people know me. Okay, well, you can't deny the truth. This one not on my. And people know me Okay, well, I have one. You can't deny the truth. This one's not on my, okay, shelly. Shelly said she got a story.
D.K.:Shelly, do you want to call in or do you want me sending you a link for a video?
TREE :Hey sis, how y'all doing PJ.
D.K.:Wait a minute, pj. I know PJ got some good stories, because we talk a lot too. Pj got some good stories.
TREE :So I have a slight story. This is like two weeks ago, okay, and I met him off of. I don't know if this can be considered a dating story, because this wasn't a dating. This is like a meet and greet story. Is that same thing?
D.K.:hey, yay, share it okay.
TREE :So he already told me he was short, so I'm 5'10. So he was like I'm 5'3. So I was like, okay, I'm not be shallow, I'm listening to everybody. Everybody always tell me you're gonna miss out on a good man because you stuck on height, you stuck on this stuff, like that. So I talked to the little guy. He was cool, though. He was really really cool, really really cool. So I'll stop. When dating, if a man says, if a man tells me he's a certain height, I automatically take two to three inches off top. Hey brother, so if you know, if you six feet, you're about 5'9" or 5'10". So he's about 5'3". I said, lord, this man five feet tall. So I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him.
D.K.:The little guy.
TREE :He was cool, his personality was amazing. Like, okay, his personality so good, I'm going to go. I'm going to meet him because he was just that cool. I had a nerve to have on some of them, converse with the thick soul on them too. So maybe like 5'11 now. So I told him to meet me at the gas station around the corner. So I just wanted to meet him to see if I could go on a date with him, because I didn't want to be in public and be like folks looking at us, you know, and I'm embarrassed. So I go around to the gas station, y'all. This man was a little person, this man was lit, tall.
D.K.:I mean like Not average height, not average height Little.
TREE :Like he literally came up below my boobs.
D.K.:Below, not below the boobs Not below the boobs.
TREE :He was so short I had to stoop down to hug him. So at this point I'm thinking now my shallow girl kicking in. I'm like I can't do this shit at all Like, no, like, no. He literally would have to stand on his car to come in eye contact with me. Was I wrong Because I stopped talking to him? Was I wrong, chet? He was 5'10". I'm 5'10".
D.K.:Oh my God, dude. As a tall girl, I need him tall too, okay, he was little.
TREE :He was like my kid Walking with your child. He was little. He was like a little man with a beard. I was like was I shallow y'all for not calling that man back?
D.K.:I go. You weren't wrong at all.
TREE :Cause I don't want to be that girl. I don't want to be that girl to to the fact of not giving people a chance from simple things. But for me, if I'm five, 10, the least you can be is about five, seven, five. But for me, if I'm 5'10" the least you can be is about 5'7", 5'8", for real, like he really was.
D.K.:Not a little man with a beard.
TREE :He was literally a leprechaun. He told me he was 5'3". He was lying his ass off. That man was every bit of 4'9", 5' tall. That man was a little person. He didn't have a little person butt I was like, okay, maybe he just barely made it. He was tiny. I've never seen a man that short in my entire life, other than being a little person.
D.K.:I just don't want to be that girl People be calling me shallow, because just don't want to be that girl.
TREE :Everyone has their own interest. Like people be calling me shallow because I don't like short guys or whatever, but it's not that I would date short guys. This man was a baby. This was an infant, a toddler.
D.K.:And that's okay and that's okay.
TREE :Everything about me was bigger than him. My feet was he tried to hold my hand. My hands was I was Everything. Come on, imagine 4'11". And everybody wants to talk about y'all the same height when you lay down Bullshit. No, we wasn't. I'm still taller than him. How you supposed to spoon me? How we supposed to spoon you 4'11"? You 4'3, and I'm 5'10?
D.K.:You're 4'3T.
TREE :Stop playing. How are you supposed to spoon me and you 4'9 and I'm 5'10? How is that supposed to work? Oh my God, I am not supposed to be the big spoon, okay, I'm supposed to be the little spoon. You're supposed to be the little spoon. You supposed to be the little spoon? No, so this was like. I ghosted him. Yeah, I felt so. He was trying to climb the tree. He really was, and I was not going. You wasn't for it. No, you wasn't for it Because he kept freaking me out, because it felt like a leprechaun. I got scared a little bit. We was at night too.
D.K.:Not spoon you, though. Not spoon you. No, he can't spoon me. Baby gap wearing dude. Oh my God.
TREE :And y'all my feet was bigger than he. I said what size shoe you wear? Keep in mind, I wear an eight in men. Don't judge my feet. I wear an eight in men. Don't judge my feet, I wear an eight in men. This man told me he wore a seven and a half. I can't how my feet big enough.
TREE :He was on the hood. He was a leprechaun. Yeah, he was cute, though he was just little. He was little. He was little, oh my God. And I couldn't bring him around None of my friends, because all they was, yeah, seven and a half in women's. Yes, he wore like a five in women. Oh my God, terrible. Negro was little y'all. And it was so funny because I was over at my friend's house so he stayed not far from them. So I told him to meet me at the gas station around the corner from their house. So I told my friend that I was bringing him back to the. I told her they were waiting patiently for me to bring her back to. They were ready to get they clown on. I didn't show up with shit nope, nope.
D.K.:You can't even sit on his lap, you have to sit on his head, damn.
TREE :He was literally. This is a visual. I'm going to give y'all an online visual. He was at camel toe height. Damn, damn. He was little Damn. He was at camel toe height.
D.K.:That's all he could have did damn, that might not be too bad, pj. Oh lord, y'all are on one tonight. Hell, just right y'all.
TREE :Ain't no way in the world I could have gave a little person some head, ain't no way? Nope, oh my goodness, that's hilarious In these days, don't wait, I just dumped it out, I was gone y'all, I was gone and I know he knew I felt some type of way because he kept talking about you so beautiful and tall, and I'm looking like you.
D.K.:Oh my God Hilarious.
TREE :Uh-oh, did I lose her again.
D.K.:Did I lose her again? Uh-oh, did I lose her again? Did I lose her again? Uh-oh, let's see, you don't have a tic-tac before, tic-tac man the little person. So wait a minute. The little people just not getting love around here again. Oh, she done froze again. She'll be back in a second. The little people is just. I guess the little people are. Yeah, yeah, I lost her for a second, but that's okay. Her weefie's acting up, so the little people don't get no love around here. Huh, okay, all right, chat.
D.K.:So y'all need somebody? What level? Mid level, what? Just definitely not for 11 level. Huh, he was fun size, a fun size pack. Okay, I get it. I get it. I get it For me.
D.K.:I like them tall or short, it doesn't, it doesn't matter either way, I like them tall or short. Let me see Same height or above. Okay, okay, but all right, if you're looking for someone taller than you. I mean, would that be your preference all the time, just looking for somebody taller than you, or just definitely your eye level minimum? Okay, I got you. I sent you a link also. But if you want to call, you know you can call. It's perfectly fine and we can share your experience over the phone. So, but again, what? What is it? I mean, let's see, yes, okay, yeah, Like I said, you call, I can see it right here. I definitely want to hear your experience and anyone else's experience. We want to hear your experiences of your dating or your relationship Because, like I said, I got another one.
D.K.:I'll share that one in a few. I'm already short, so you don't want nobody shorter than you, I get it, I get it. You want somebody to maybe look up to a little bit. She has to be shorter than me. Okay, bro, I got you. Like I said, I even like them short or tall, it doesn't make a difference. I can look up at you or look down at you, it don't make me a difference, you know. So you know, tallest person I've dated was 6'5", so I didn't have a problem with it. Hey, like Tree said climbing tree, right, that's the tallest person I've dated. The shortest I've dated was 4'11". So there she goes, she's back. All right, what is going on with your weefie over there, man? You made me restart it.
TREE :So it's been giving me headache.
D.K.:I didn't make you do anything but yeah, so yeah so I ghosted the little guy, so you ghosted that, so we was just going by. They got at least be eye level, minimum height or anything like that. So, yeah, that's that's what they all going through. So, all right, come on, come on chat, don't be scared, we want to hear your stories. I hate, like that, that's what they're all going through. All right, come on, come on chat, don't be scared, we want to hear your stories.
TREE :I hate ghosting people though.
D.K.:We want to hear your stories. Who wants to be the brave soul to come on the show Again? Open form. We want to hear your stories.
TREE :I had to ghost him.
D.K.:I really didn't want to, but I had to him I really didn't want to, but I had to. I get it. I get it. So, other than his height, was there anything else?
TREE :no, I liked him. He was just too short, he should have. He need to go have knee surgery or some leg surgery. He needs some more height. He too short, like if he had a at least 5'5", 5'6". I would have let him climb this tree because he was cute. He was just little, he was not a bad looking dude. He was just somebody's child.
D.K.:Okay, ghosting is tough, but sometimes necessary yeah.
TREE :I agree. I felt bad for ghosting him though, but he wouldn't have wanted to just be my friend. So, yes, knee surgery. He was short, not knee surgery. If he needs to be stretched out a little bit, if he stretch out to at least about 5'6" I'll get him. But he was little, him little, and y'all wasn't going to talk about me. I posted a picture on Facebook. Y'all wasn't going to talk about me. I posted a picture on Facebook. Y'all wasn't going to roast me.
TREE :Oh my goodness, nah, he would have been about. Even if he stretched out some tiny legs, he would have still been a smooth one. Nah, he was about five feet. If he got knee surgery he'd be about five, three, but he still would have been too short. He need to be at least five, seven at least.
D.K.:I see, even if you stretch out those tiny legs, it would be smoother than four, nine. Now I ain't I had a pending kidnapping I don't relate to y'all Just tell me, man Damn. Pj. If that number doesn't work, just call my regular number. It'll come through. No, we're not going to put it on my hip. That's too funny.
TREE :You're going to break my hip. You know them. Little people be heavy. He said the little people be heavy. Yeah, they be heavy. He looked heavy. He was just compact. He was just like a brick, like solid. He was cute, though he was a mini. Everything I liked, but he was mini, he was mini.
D.K.:Just mini, a bite size, huh.
TREE :A bite size man. Do y'all think he? I think the Lord gonna send me what I'll ask for. I ain't ask God for no mini bite. I ask for a king size snicker. I did not ask for the Halloween size. I'm serious. If I ask the Lord, will the Lord send me a bite size man. If I ask for a king-sized, Will he do that?
D.K.:Yeah, he might send you what you need at the time, not what you prefer. It's an appetizer. What's done, come yet.
TREE :Because I cheat all on him. God ain't going to send me nobody I'm going to cheat on. I don't think when the church folk at Help me out.
D.K.:Oh Lord, oh my God, you really trying to get us struck down.
TREE :Huh the church folks, help me out, church folk. I need to know if the Lord ain't going to send me nobody else, because he sent me a fun-sized bar and I asked for a king-sized. I asked for a king-sized, I asked for a king-sized snicker and I got a Halloween. You just got a little Halloween bike.
D.K.:Hey, here you go, only take one, take one.
TREE :I just want to know God ain't going to send me nothing I ain't asked for. I don't think. Am I wrong? Tell me if I'm wrong. I'm not going to get mad if y'all said I'm wrong.
D.K.:I would say that it was harsh. Trial size Trial size I would say that was harsh. He goes to the guy.
TREE :Yeah, let me see he on my Facebook too. I almost told something. Never mind, no, come on, people that know me know the story. So, uh-uh, nope, I ain't going to do it. I ain't trying to hurt nobody's feelings. Oh, my God, I was specific, I was Pacific, I was. I said, lord, I need a king-sized chocolate bar.
D.K.:A king-sized chocolate bar. Bj you must have been muster seed. Not a muster seed, though.
TREE :He was smaller than a sunflower seed, so he got to be a muster seed, not a mustard seed, though. He was smaller than a sunflower seed, so he got to be a mustard seed.
D.K.:Anyway, we're going to leave.
TREE :Mr man alone. He was sweet, though. He really was everything I wanted in a man, but he was tiny as hell. I was sitting there picturing myself. I'm like Lord, I ain't going to be able to do it.
D.K.:Why.
TREE :I just know that Thay was little. I know it was he was little.
D.K.:Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
TREE :For real, if you 4'9", how you packing.
D.K.:I have no comment on the issue. None, I have no comment on the issue.
TREE :Has anybody ever seen a packing man that was 4'9"? That's all I want to know.
D.K.:You could have had a dropout.
TREE :You might have been, it might have been. I didn't get a chance, I didn't stick around long enough to tell that story. I don't know, but he was so little. If he was little I know it was little so it can't be big. And he ain't big, so they both gotta be little, his hands was little.
D.K.:That's a stereotype. That's a stereotype. You know how you hold a toddler's hand.
TREE :You know how you hold a toddler's maybe a seven or eight-year-old hand. That's how little his hands was. Little hands mean little.
D.K.:No, that's not always true. That ain't always true. Now, like PJ said, you'd be surprised.
TREE :No, if a 4'9 man is packing, show me today.
D.K.:He could have had a third leg. Yeah, he could have. Means nothing, I'm just saying it's just like the old cliche what they say back in the day if he had a big foot, he had a big. You know what that's?
TREE :not always true. That's your lie.
D.K.:Okay. So just because he has small hands doesn't mean he has a small trap line.
TREE :He had a small everything. It wasn't nothing big on him.
D.K.:Again, but you didn't.
TREE :Everything smiled and bless him big down there.
D.K.:You never know. So I met a guy who was short and that thing was like a horse Damn.
TREE :I didn't stick around to find out, so I don't know.
D.K.:Listen, you just never, never know I miss out on my blessing. Nobody wants to be the brave soul to come on in and tell us your stories, man, I mean y'all gonna listen to all my stories tonight. Y'all gonna listen to all our stories, right?
TREE :Christina. Hello, hey, Chris.
D.K.:Yeah, it is halftime Lovely. Can I tell them my story? You're 34 minutes late lovely chick.
TREE :I tell them about my infamous story. If you know me, you know what I'm talking about.
D.K.:I can't breathe over here. I'm laughing so hard. Yeah, I want to hear this one Hell, no too embarrassing. I want to yeah, listen, it was our past right, everything's our past. Want to yeah, listen, listen, listen, it was our past right, everything's our past.
TREE :You learn from it, you move on right. I still live in Houston with these people. Nope, nope, Nope. I'm already hollering.
D.K.:No, ma'am, yeah, all right, she said go ahead, we want to hear the story. We want to hear the story.
TREE :We want to hear the story. Hey, listen what story I'm talking about. Wait, wait, wait. If she can name the right story, I'll tell it.
D.K.:Here's the thing. Here's the thing. We're not a biased show Just like you have your story. They have open free form to come on here and share their story too. Me Bob, me people Whoa Wait a minute. I want to hear this one.
TREE :No, I can't do it.
D.K.:Oh no, Don't back off now.
TREE :That's a move.
D.K.:I'm just saying Don't back off now. I want to hear this shit, nope.
TREE :She told too much anyway.
D.K.:Thank you, I'm here for all the tea.
TREE :I need to get paid for my story. That's one of them stories you get paid for. You don't get that story away from people, why?
D.K.:Please, yeah, oh man, yeah, that's it, I'm about to All right, no.
TREE :I will not. Why not? Because you ain't finna get me killed. Hand me on a new lady, tell story on podcast Dead. No, no, ain't going to happen how you know.
D.K.:You way over there, I know about Texas laws.
TREE :What the law going to do for him to stop killing me? Huh, what the law going to do for stop that stop from killing me? What the law going to do for him to stop that man from killing me for telling his story?
D.K.:Hey, hey, hey, I'm going to get you before you get me, blame the simple. I got you. I'm strapped. See, there you go. That's it, damon. Just know it's a lie, okay.
TREE :I got to get paid for my good stories. I can get you out of here now you want to get paid.
D.K.:We got to go to Insider Edition. That's where you hear TMZ I just sit down with Barbara Walters. Barbara Walters for my story. Is she even still doing that damn shit?
TREE :that's what I'm saying. You better go dig her ass up.
D.K.:Lord, I'd have killed that lady.
TREE :Is she dead Lord? Forgive me that damn shit. That's what I'm saying. You better go dig her ass up, lord. I'd have killed that lady. If she dead Lord forgive me.
D.K.:I don't know if she dead or not. Listen, I think Regis Philman said he off with the smoke too.
TREE :Like Lovely said, just know it's hilarious.
D.K.:I'm just saying.
TREE :I'll tell you the story off camera. You're going to be.
D.K.:Wait a minute, got a phone call, hold on, hold on. All right, pj, can you hear me? Yes, yes, go ahead and share your story.
TREE :We can't hear.
D.K.:You can't.
TREE :No.
D.K.:She should be coming through. No, they say they can't hear you. I'm going to send you a video link. You don't have to put your camera on. Okay'm going to send you a video link. You don't have to put your camera on. Okay, I'll send you a video link. All right, yeah, so you couldn't hear at all, because I can hear on my end. It should have been coming through because he went to pins. That's funny. All right, nope.
TREE :I ain't going to do it, all right?
D.K.:Nope, I ain't going to do it All right, okay, so I'm going to just wait for PJ to come.
TREE :She said she'll come share her story.
D.K.:I want to hear this one.
TREE :Oh, she went to glory, so she can't even do my interview. See, y'all can't even get it. Oh no, we're going to get it, I can't even get it.
D.K.:Oh no, we gonna get it. I didn't hear anything either. Okay, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, she's gonna come in the video.
TREE :Lovely do. I got another story. I don't want to tell that one why your story wasn't juicy. You just said you gave the lady $8. So you won't get my story off, your little $8 story. That story was weak, hey, you not going to get no juicy story from no $8-ass story you came up with.
D.K.:Hey, I don't make $8, no more.
TREE :I'm just saying that's the story that you gave us and he want me to give him all my juicy tea and he gave us an $8.25 story.
D.K.:You ain't gave me nothing.
TREE :yet Come up with a better story that I made. This man told us this lady milked him out $8. We don't want to hear that. We need some juice and tea.
D.K.:Yeah, yeah, then I was almost wasn't here for that $8. You going to send me the glory Allegedly? Hey, listen, I heard that message loud and clear. It's just I wasn't listening to it.
TREE :Ain't nothing wrong with you tricking your little $8 out, hey listen, it was the first trick.
D.K.:Wait a minute $8.25. I was probably at $8.25. It was the first trick. Wait a minute $8.25. I was proud of that $8.25.
TREE :That's a good trick. You was a good trick.
D.K.:I was proud of that $8.25. I was Very proud of it.
TREE :That's a first. What I ain't never heard a man trick $8.
D.K.:Hey, listen, inflation wasn't bad back then. That shit's horrible now.
TREE :Let me see if I got another story to tell, because Damon and his little $8 story wasn't it. Come up with another one.
D.K.:What you mean come up with another one. I tell you what I experienced.
TREE :I'm saying you want me to give you my good tea, and you ain't gave us no good tea.
D.K.:Listen, that's all the tea I had, okay. If it was regular Lipton, it was Lipton Okay. It wasn't that good herbal stuff. If it was Lipton, it was Lipton okay. But I it wasn't that good herbal stuff If it was Lipton.
TREE :It was Lipton, okay, Mm-hmm.
D.K.:But I'll wait for this.
TREE :Damon, do I got another story I be telling you so much.
D.K.:You do.
TREE :What which one?
D.K.:Hmm.
TREE :Hmm.
D.K.:Which one? Well, we already talked about wheelchair guys, so we ain't got to talk about him, no more. Who else did we talk about? We talked about little short man. I don't know about this other one, because you ain't tell me about that one. You ain't tell me about the one that lovely knows.
TREE :You ain't tell me about that one?
D.K.:I don't know that one.
TREE :I was trying to keep that on the wraps. That kind of ruined my reputation a little bit.
D.K.:Reputation yeah, listen, we all make mistakes, okay.
TREE :It wasn't no mistake, it wasn't my mistake.
D.K.:We all make mistakes, it happens.
TREE :It wasn't my mistake, it was his mistake, it wasn't it was his mistake.
D.K.:Okay, I'm just saying we all make bad choices, we do.
TREE :It wasn't my choice. It wasn't my choice, it was forced. It was forced, not choice.
D.K.:It was forced, not choice. Okay, all right, it was forced. They buying four for fours.
TREE :I know I be having a lot of stories.
D.K.:You do, you do, and I be all here for it.
TREE :I be all here for it. I be trying to forget them. That be the thing, like when it happened. I be trying to erase them from my memory bank. I don't be wanting to remember them.
D.K.:I don't blame you, I wouldn't want to remember it. I don't blame you, I wouldn't want to remember it either.
TREE :I have a kidnapping story. Oh damn, I've been kidnapped before.
D.K.:Oh damn, On a date.
TREE :Dang. This was in my early 20s. This was Memphis days. These are my Memphis days. My cousin can vouch for these stories.
D.K.:Oh, we're going back to Tennessee. Oh, memphis days, my cousin can vouch for these stories.
TREE :Oh, we going back to Tennessee, oh, okay, my cousin can vouch for these stories. So my cousin was going on a date with a guy and she asked me and my other cousin to ride with her and so I was just like, nah, I'm good, because I already know what kind of stuff that she be on. So I was like, nah, I'm good, because I already know what kind of stuff that she be on. So I was like, nah, I'm good. My cousin Gwen was like, nah, come on, let's go. So I went.
TREE :So we get in the car. So it's me and my two of us was in the back and one was in the front. So we drive. We're like we were so young and stupid Now that I think back on it I just be like we was some stupid stupids back there.
TREE :So we riding in the car, all of a sudden the dude jumps out the car and we looking at each other, like, okay, and the dude just pulls out a gun and points it at us and we like, oh shit. We like, oh shit, the dude pulled out a gun on us. So he get in the car. So we looking at each other like trying to figure out what we finna do. So this dude gets in the car and he just starts driving us someplace. We don't know where we going, we just riding and scared, riding and scared, riding and scared. So all of a sudden he pull up at this house and he tell us to get out the car. But we like we finna die, we finna die, lord, we finna die.
TREE :So we go in the house and it was an old lady. It was an old lady, him and us was at the house. So they done start rolling up weed and smoking and I'm looking around like this, I'm dreaming I got this has got to be a dream. Like I couldn't believe it. So I'm asking my cousin, I'm like, well, what are we going to do? Like we finna all jump him and the grandma, like we need to figure out how to get up at this house. So all of a sudden they smoking and getting high or whatever. And then all of a sudden he said come on, let me take y'all home. And the dude took us home like he ain't pulling a gun on us, kidnap us or nothing. That was the weirdest ever.
D.K.:So he just took you over to grandma just to smoke some weed and then take you back home, huh.
TREE :It wasn't nothing Like he didn't Imagine that fast forward to this day, we would have been dead.
D.K.:Okay, let me bring PJ in here. Hi PJ, how are you? I'm good, all right. Can you hear her now?
TREE :Yeah, I can hear you.
D.K.:Alright.
TREE :What's happening? Sorry, this is how I look right now. Okay.
D.K.:It's all good.
TREE :It's all good Sorry y'all, it get better, but not tonight, hey, y'all, hey. So you know, some time ago, you know, when internet dating was like the actual thing, you know, pre-covid, pre-all that good stuff I met this guy from Philly, right, mm-hmm, he seemed like he was real cool. He was, you know, former military, all that good stuff. And this is when Philly wasn't Killadelphia like it is now. Oh Lord, yeah, it's crazy. Now you can't even go over there in the daytime. So I was like, oh all right, you know, I'm going to go meet him. I ain't scared of nothing. I shoot just as well as anybody else. I'm good, you know, I go over there to meet this guy, I go over there to meet this guy.
D.K.:And.
TREE :I did the ultimate no-no. I went to his house. You never meet nobody at their crib. You don't do that. You know young and dumb, you know how that go. So, boom, I pull up to the house. It was a nice big house. It was a row house but it's Philly, but it was a big house, big front porch. He's sitting outside, he chilling with a beer.
TREE :That's a no-no for me. You're not going to be just sitting on the porch being hood because you live in the hood. That's not what we do, you know. But I was like all right, you know. But I was like all right, stop acting funky, like don't be all bougie, you know. Boom, you know he comes to the steps or whatever. I walk up the steps, we meet, we shake hands, whatever we sit down on the porch. So it was a little brisk that night and I'm like I'm looking at him, this joker look drunk already. That's number one. Damn. Here I go again, setting myself up for failure because it was a little brisk outside. He said do you want to come in? I said, sure, I'll come in. I walked in the house and I don't judge nobody house people live like you, do stuff every day. People work people, you know I mean. Long as it ain't no creepy critters running around, I'm cool right so this joker had like four cats.
TREE :He live alone. He had like four cats. That's a no-no for me. I ain't no cat person, but long as they ain't jumping up on me on the furniture hair all over the place I'm cool. Hair was all over the place, so I wasn't cool. So I'm sitting there like I ain't really want to touch nothing and stuff, right. And I got a really good look at him. He was drunk, okay, and I'm looking up half the ceiling missing. I'm like I'ma die. I'ma die right here. I'ma die. This ain't nobody gonna know where I'm at. I'ma die right here. This is it, this man.
TREE :I still gave him the benefit of the doubt. He talking, talking, talking, talking, talking. How he was talking didn't match his circumstances. He sounded like a really good dude but he had a problem. He was a drunk or something.
TREE :Because there's no way you can explain that you invited me into this house with this ceiling missing, that I can see straight upstairs. Like that's a room right there. Like what are we doing here? What is this? Then this joker proceeds to tell me how he got three pet squirrels. It was a lot of pets. Let's just go there and not like regular. The cats was the most regular thing that he had. So I said, oh, you know it's stuffy in here, can we go back on the porch? So he grabbed another couple of beers out the refrigerator.
TREE :It came back on the porch, this clown, telling me what trees his squirrels live in. Telling me what trees his squirrels live in. I'm sitting there looking at him. I'm like, yeah, this is Now, this is all in a matter of 15 minutes. All this thing happened. I'm on that porch. I'm looking like all right, how do I make my great escape? Because he's actually blocking the stairs where he's sitting. How do I make my great escape? And I was blocking the stairs where he's sitting. Where. How do I make my great escape? Like? And I was just like, oh you know what, I gotta go see my cousin real quick. My cousin lived right in the same neighborhood, like right around the corner. I didn't even know what part of philly I was in. I had no clue where I was and I'm like, girl, you might make it just make a mad dash to the car.
TREE :This cat went on talking about these squirrels probably 8 out of 15 minutes. I was there. I didn't know what to like. I was so confused like I don't know. I don't know what that was about, but I'll never do that shit again. I'm never going to the Philly more or less someone's house for real. I don't know, I don't know what that was about, but I'll never do that shit again.
TREE :I'm never going to the Philly In someone's house For real With a missing ceiling, that I can see the room and he has cats and squirrels and like I was like, who is this man? Dr Doolittle, like what? The Dr Doolittle? I'm just just yo. That was terrible. Yeah, that was pretty bad. Damn, I'll take that short man any day, sis, you have, I can get in there. Then the short man from Houston you can have, cause I'm only, listen, I'm only 5'5. Oh, I see, there you go. You know what I mean. But every time I wear heels and I'm like another full 5 inches taller, she say he ate them pets. That's exactly, that's a squirrel. He probably ate them for real. Listen, I ain't never seen nothing like that in my life. I was so afraid.
D.K.:He was playing with food.
TREE :This was years ago and I'm like. I know people raise their cattle and stuff. They raise their food, but this is squirrels and cats.
D.K.:You got me. With the hole in the ceiling, you can see the bedroom.
TREE :It was a bedroom. I was like, so how he get up there, did he take the stairs or he just take?
D.K.:a ladder and go right up there.
TREE :How we doing this. I don't know.
D.K.:He got too late.
TREE :I told him. I said listen, I'm going to run around the corner, I'll be right back. I said my cousin live like two streets over. He was like you want me to ride with you? I said no, just like that. No, I was like I'll be right back. I'll be right back. That's what I said. I'll be right back. No, sooner.
TREE :I wasn't even from in front of his house and I had blocked his number. I was back 195, north. Coming home. I was like I'm never leaving New Jersey, never, not, never, no, that jaded me for a long time. That was the end of my internet day and after that I was like nah, nah, I was crazy, I was fearless. Then I was young. Hell, no, that humbled you, humbled me wasn't even the word. All I can say is thank god that at that time I carried and thank god that I could shoot the broad side of the barn from 100 yards out, because I would have had to kill him because he was. I knew he was crazy and I just kept. I'm going in the house and I'm doing what? Mm-mm, mm-mm, crazy, crazy, crazy.
D.K.:Oh, that's wild.
TREE :I kept hearing I don't know if y'all seen Ghosts with Whoopi Goldberg and what's her name and remember she was like Molly, you in danger girl that's. Oh my God, y'all don't even know, y'all don't even know. Y'all don't even know. I fear for my life.
D.K.:I would have after that damn story yeah.
TREE :Yeah, back then though I ain't gonna lie, lie, he was the last one I was glutton for punishment. Back then, I was always going somewhere and meeting somebody wow, that was a movie script yeah, that I'm telling you, I probably listen. I done used up all my lives. I ain't got no extra mans. I ain't got no extra lives. That was almost Grand Theft Auto right there, because I'm trying to told y'all something this was terrible.
D.K.:Wait a minute, but the pets you getting the gun pulled on. You Damn For real the squirrels though the kidnapping is real around here For real the squirrels though.
TREE :It was a long time ago though it was. But yeah, that's when people were doing that type of thing. You would meet people from the internet. Catfishing wasn't even big yet like you. Well, no, they are. The catfishing was before that, because I was always video chatting with somebody, always video chatting. I didn't go nowhere and not do with someone looking like unless that wasn't them on camera, you know. But man, philly dude, that was it. For me that was. I looked at Philly in a whole new light. Man, whole new light, a whole new light. Oh my God. He wasn't even like Looks lovely in the building. He wasn't even like one of the average Philly dudes how the Philly dudes look now. Everybody got a beard and all that. He wasn't one of them. He looked like he had been through something.
D.K.:Well, he drinking all that alcohol he probably had.
TREE :Yeah, for real, that was scary man. Y'all got me reflecting. I'm going to have to call my shrink tomorrow cause I'm itching and shit, that's PTSD. Yeah, for real, give me a check, cause I'm starting. I'm starting to itch. Bobby said I love Philadelphia. Well, itch.
D.K.:Bobby said I love Philadelphia. Well, it wasn't good for PJ.
TREE :Okay, no, that was bad, that was bad. I used to love Philly too, man, but I can't even man. Look man, philly's something else now. Mm-mm, no, no more. That's my little small sad story now, mm-mm, no.
D.K.:That's my little small sad story oh my God. Oh, my God.
TREE :What if he had to bird you one of them squirrels for dinner? Listen, I don't even look at squirrels the same, no more. I swear. I don't even like I swear. I see them running across the street. That's 50 points. I'm going to get you. That's how I'm coming, like I swear. I see him running across the street. That's 50 points. I'm going to get you. That's how I'm coming. I'm going to get you.
D.K.:You got a lot of fans up there in Philly. Well, guess what?
TREE :he ain't one of them no, that dude, that dude, oh god, I mean, and I can't say Philly all bad, because I met some really great people from Philly and you know, one happened to be short and, nah, he had a whole baby arm. So I mean that was scary too.
D.K.:Okay, he had a whole baby arm. So I mean, that was scary too. Okay, you had a whole baby arm, Mm-hmm.
TREE :You had a whole baby arm, huh.
D.K.:Oh, nah, I ain't talking about that.
TREE :No, oh, you were like oh okay, yeah, yeah, that thing was like almost to his kneecap. That was all right, that was scary, but that was all right, you know.
D.K.:I was young.
TREE :Yeah, I was young. No, no, no, that's a whole other one. That was like a horse. That was another one, that was another one. That's when I was in my days of you know, when you're young, you say anything out your mouth and then people match your energy. You're young, you say anything out your mouth and then people match your energy. And that's how I knew I never did nothing with the man, but I was like, yeah, you're talking all that stuff with your little self. Sit on down somewhere. I ain't little everywhere. I said what your wallet fat? Go ahead, stand on your wallet. He said nah, it ain't like that. I said then, let me see it, whip it out, let me see it. He did real quick Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yep, that was it for me. I left them a little bit alone because of that, because they mm-mm, mm-mm.
D.K.:Like I may be little, but I'm packing a surprise.
TREE :See, that's the thing. I ain't never met a little one with a pinky. I'm sorry. I learned to keep my distance. No, you're not going to be little like me, mm-mm, mm-mm. I already know what that's hitting for.
D.K.:Mm-mm.
TREE :Mm-mm.
D.K.:Oh my God, I ain't messing with y'all. You're running from the little people because of what you experienced and you're like, no, I'm just not accepting the little people because of what you experienced, and you're like, no, I'm just not accepting the little people right she football punting their asses out her life.
TREE :She's like nah get out of here flag on the play. I'm not telling you now 15 yard penalty. I had tears in my eyes. You talking about I was bigger than him. My feet was talking about I was bigger than him. My feet was bigger than him, everything was bigger than him. You was wrong for that, okay, I want you to know I had real tears. I was being for real, no exaggeration.
D.K.:My hand was bigger. When you say he came through your breast, that's where he came to.
TREE :No she said to the camel toe, to the camel toe. That's a big difference. Camel toe, like, no, like Marsha. Do you call him Marsha? Yeah, it's Marsha, marsha. Do you call her Marsha?
D.K.:Yeah, it's.
TREE :Marsha, yeah, he was little Steve.
D.K.:He was tiny.
TREE :Oh my.
D.K.:God, oh my.
TREE :God, he was fine to be little, but he was little, him, and little he, little, little he was a little terrible.
D.K.:Oh my god, oh my god.
TREE :I saw Angela come in here.
D.K.:You still in here, angela he was a little tight.
TREE :He can drive one of them little bit. You know them little tights, them little kids be riding in. Yes, stop it, big wheel, wait a minute big wheel he was cute, though you finna kill me. Oh sorry, I did. I hit something sorry no, you're good oh Jesus, there you go.
D.K.:Angela, I know you got one. You want to come in here too alright, I see y'all, I'm getting off.
TREE :I'll be listening still, okay.
D.K.:All right, I see y'all, I'm getting off.
TREE :I'll be listening still, okay.
D.K.:Oh my God, you want to come share one. Angela, you and Tree be having the tea. Y'all be having some good ones, Because you chowed and had none. Hey listen.
TREE :I told you mine was lifting, okay, well, don't be trying to listen to our team.
D.K.:You ain't have none, yo worst dating experience or relationship experience. So, man, oh my God, not the squirrels, though Not the squirrels, not the ceiling you can see upstairs.
D.K.:Who lives like that. Wait a minute, the cats, y'all was like as soon as you can see upstairs who lives like that, wait a minute, wait a minute. But the cats, y'all was like. As soon as he said cats, y'all was like oh, hell, no, hell, no, no cats. Now my thing with this is what's wrong with the cats? Cats are self-sufficient. What's wrong with cats? Let me say it, I'm a bingo. I can't tell self-sufficient. What's wrong with cats? I'm a bingo. I can't tell you mine, that's okay.
TREE :We're going to catch up with you though.
D.K.:I'm going to call the police.
TREE :You're going to call the police why? I don't want to listen to shit.
D.K.:Oh my God, he did. Let me see. My worst dating experience was a thug that fell. Too many white people were in the venue. Wait, what Are you serious? Eating the cats and dogs? Hey, didn't somebody just glorify that. They said it was going on in Ohio. I'm just saying, I'm just saying Did somebody just glorify that? That they were eating cats and dogs? I'm just saying, oh my God, that's hilarious. Oh my God, that was pretty bad. Now don't tip the fact of the alcohol. That was bad, I can't.
D.K.:And he ate half of my wings at the sports bar. He wanted to split them because he felt $5.99 was too much. Stop playing, stop playing, stop playing, stop playing. He felt that that was too much. $5.99 for paying for some wings oh my goodness, what is wings? Oh my goodness, what is? Oh my God. So too many white people at the venue and I have to pay. He wanted to split the bill because $5.99 was too much. Oh my God, that's terrible. Stood up three times. Okay, yeah, let's see, that's too much, right, $5.99 is too much. And too many white people at the venue that's crazy. That's crazy. I wouldn't care who's at the venue, I'm just here to have a good time, that's it. I am too. I'm about to lose my voice over here Fooling around with y'all. Just wait, just wait for, oh my God, I'm in tears. I'm in tears. This has been some experiences, let's see. My ex-husband had to slide him my card under the table because he couldn't afford. All right, that's a mic drop on that one.
TREE :Where are?
D.K.:these dudes coming from? Let's see, my worst dating experience was when I met this woman off the site, calling her crush or flush. What, oh my God, oh Lord, my God, oh Lord, have mercy. The whole online dating thing is crazy.
TREE :Auntie, hey, how are you?
D.K.:The whole online dating thing is crazy, you know about. Let's see, let me see. This is what I. This is why I'm single and haven't dated since 2019. I see, because it seems like the dating pool is trash and we talked about that. How the dating pool is, you know, you think you might find somebody or you just don't. I agree with you. I agree with you with the comment, but it's crazy. Of everything that we go through, it is, you know, just meeting somebody and all the experiences that you go through and then everything else that you go through. But, like I said, the ceiling, the squirrels, the cats and all the lions, tigers and bears is next right. Oh yeah, I got a whole bunch of snakes that live in here also. That's what's called crush or flush. Wow, that's crazy.
D.K.:Angela cursed I should have flushed her ass. I guess you should have flushed her. You should have flushed her ass. I guess you should have flushed her. You should have flushed her. That's crazy. That is crazy. Oh my goodness. Yeah, that's crazy. Oh my goodness. I have no words for some of these stories that we heard tonight. It's just crazy. Like I said, you know, mine ain't nowhere near yours, and then that's crazy, but I think Tree may have some little business. She didn't care over there. I'm a whine to show one down and then we will come back to you next week. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you've been saying that all night. Be right back, check on tree. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm at the check on her, so I'm gonna wind the show on down and we're just going to go ahead and just end it. Hey, listen, we got a lot more to talk about with this. But thank y'all for tuning in. We appreciate each and every last one of y'all. Let me go check on Tree. Make sure everything's okay.
