D.K. And Tree Podcast
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D.K. And Tree Podcast
Pushing Through Life's Challenges: A Conversation on Wellness and Self-Advocacy
What if the most important investment you'll ever make isn't in stocks or property—but in yourself? That's the powerful revelation at the heart of this candid conversation between host Damon and educator-entrepreneur Rian Reed.
Through raw personal stories, Damon reveals how ignoring persistent headaches nearly cost him his life when doctors initially dismissed his symptoms. His eventual meningitis diagnosis became a wake-up call that transformed his relationship with his body. "Your body tells you things," he emphasizes, "and if we ignore it, we're gonna end up broke down." This theme of self-advocacy echoes throughout the episode as both speakers share their journeys toward holistic wellness.
The dialogue weaves seamlessly between physical health practices—Damon's passion for roller skating, Rian's commitment to 5am workouts—and the mental disciplines that sustain them through life's challenges. Their approaches demonstrate that successful wellness routines aren't about punishment but finding genuine joy in movement and nutrition. Ryan notes how cooking at home serves both physical health and financial wellness, a particularly relevant insight during times of economic uncertainty.
What distinguishes this conversation is its expansion beyond individual wellness to explore generational and community healing. Both speakers candidly discuss breaking unhealthy family patterns and the importance of passing down positive health practices to children. This concept of "wellness wealth" as family legacy offers a fresh perspective on why self-care matters beyond personal benefit.
The episode culminates with reflections on how individual wellness connects to broader community healing, particularly through compassionate approaches to policing and conflict resolution. Their vulnerability in sharing personal struggles—from homelessness to depression—creates an authentic roadmap for listeners facing their own wellness challenges.
Ready to transform your approach to health? Listen now, then share your own journey by emailing DKandtreepodcast@yahoo.com or visiting Rian's professional services at bossbetty.co. Your body is speaking—are you ready to listen?
Free audio post-production BioPhoniccom.
Speaker 2:Good afternoon, good afternoon, uh-oh, let me see, Good afternoon everyone. Good afternoon, Uh-oh, let me see, Good afternoon everyone. Good afternoon.
Speaker 2:I hope everybody's doing a great, great Sunday, even though the weather is kind of crappy around here, but it's all good. It's all good. It's your boy, Damon. I am here with the DK and Tree podcast. Remember? I told you we had a show about fitness and health and trying to keep yourself together, and I brought someone special on today to talk about their journey in this whole thing. And even I'm going to talk about mine too, because, again, health and fitness and even your mental being is always important and you just got to take better care of yourself these days. I'm going to let her introduce herself and tell her a little bit about you, because y'all know about me.
Speaker 1:Hello everyone, my name is Ryan Reed and I am a educator by trade and also a business owner, author and speaker. I'm excited to be on the podcast today to talk about my health and wellness journey. I think it's really important, when you wear many hats, to make sure that you're investing in yourself, so that's why I'm here today to talk about this topic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and again, it's very important because some people just don't take their health seriously. And if you look at when our parents grew up and everything all they did was really work, work, work, work, work, you never really saw them, you know, taking care of their health. You know they wouldn't say if they were sick, they wouldn't say anything. If they was going through something, they kept it to themselves. And now it's just you have to make sure that you take care of yourself so you can live a lot longer. You know modern medicine today has made it better for us than what it did back in the day. So you know, like I said, with my journey, I'll start off with my journey. You know, just especially being in the careers that I'm in, you know stressful job, unhealthy eating. You know back and forth time changes. You know you up at this time you're going to sleep. At this time you've eaten late. It's just not good for your system overall. So you just have to change that pattern. So I went to the doctors and I don't mind sharing this and my A1C was up and I explained that like, hey, this is not good. I got to get this A1C down because being diabetic is really not good these days and a lot of people just they're scared to go to the doctors, they're scared to want to know what's going on with them. One thing about me is that if something's going on with the body, I'm going to go figure it out, because you have to understand that, hey, something's going on. I need to figure it out because I've not felt like this before.
Speaker 2:So in this journey, I started working out, I started changing my eating and started eating a lot more vegetables. You know, jump rope is one of my biggest things I love to do, but I'm also a big roller skater. So anybody out there knows that I'm a big, big roller skater. So I try to keep the cardio up, I try to keep myself as active as possible because, again, you know, in everyday life we just go through life and we don't be thinking about ourselves sometimes. And stress of the job, you know, stress of everything else, stress coming home, it all wears the body down and we just have to find an outlet to fix that. And that's one of the things that I did was started working out, started skating more, started changing the diet, more jump rope. You know I'm not a runner, definitely not a runner, but I will take a nice walk.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that's just a little about me yeah, so, um, I I'm about 38 years old right now and I thought about you know my youth and how I used to play softball. I was on a travel team, all-star team, so I was very active in sports when I was younger and I just remember the joy and excitement I had playing sports when I was younger. So, you know, reflecting on again my job as well as an educator, being a business owner, being involved in the community, managing all those different tasks it makes you not focus on self, like you were saying before. So now I'm more focused on that. So I go to the gym every morning at 5 am for about an hour, about an hour.
Speaker 1:I also started cooking more now, so if you go on my Instagram page, boss Betty, you can see all the foods that I'm cooking. Last night, I cooked some marinated chicken. I marinated the chicken for 24 hours before cooking it and I had some 24 hours before cooking it and I had some corn. So I'm making sure that I'm eating well and not going out to eat too, because I think it's important to cook for yourself instead of going out and eating, and that's not just for your physical health, but also for your pocket as well, if we are going to the grocery store and cooking our own food, then we are also making sure that our financial health is well, just as we are invested in our physical self, which can also help with stress If you're not overwhelmed by your lack of income and lack of money and just before we came on air, we were just talking about that.
Speaker 2:I just went to the store and I'm looking at the shelves and they like bare bone empty. I'm like, oh, my goodness, is the apocalypse coming? Let me, let me slow down. You know the bread was mostly gone. You know, just, shelves are just empty and I'm like you know it's really sad. Gone, shelves are just empty. I'm like it's really sad the time that we're going through because of the simple fact that remember back when we were younger and growing up, you had to never worry about anything like that. Now, in today's society, you're like, oh my God, am I going to have a meal? Can I afford a meal? We can even talk about gas and electric. Can I afford that? Can I afford the place to live? What gas and electric? Can I afford that? Can I afford the place to live? You know I'm choosing between food or medicine and that's.
Speaker 1:That's really really sad. That is that is really sad. And I also think about to, you know, intermittent fasting as an option to make sure that you're investing in your health, and then, if you don't have the money, um, you don't have to eat as much as anymore if you're using intermittent fasting. So it's kind of like a win-win situation and you just don't have the income so um really really good make it work hey, listen, and you gotta do what you gotta do.
Speaker 2:You do, you have to do what you have to do. You look at an refrigerator and be like this is a sad situation looking ahead, tumbleweed, going across or whatever, but you just have to find ways. Again, if you cook for yourself like what you're doing, right, you make, you make these preparations for yourself to say, hey, okay, I got this, this, this, this, it's planned out for the next two weeks, this will hold me over till I get paid, and bam, and then I just go plan it out for the next two weeks and just plan everything out and you should be good to go. But, like I said, I'll share another thing with me. As far as health, this is back around maybe 2012, 2011. And again, you got to pay attention to your body, because your body tells you things. And one day went out to eat right, we all went out to eat, sat down, and after that I got a headache. I was like I don't feel good, I got a headache. So I got rid of that headache. Well, I was trying to get rid of it. So I talked to the super and I said, hey, no, I don't feel good, can I go home. He was like, yeah, go ahead. He said you all right. No, I said I really don't feel good. That was day one. Day two, right, I still have this headache. Now I'm taking everything Tylenol I'm taking. It's not working. All right, no, no big deal Now. So I go back to work the next day and I'm still going through this headache and I'm like something ain't right. So I go to the hospital, right, and I kept telling them what was wrong. What was wrong and give me a CAT scan. They said we don't see anything. That's wrong. I said, well, something's wrong, cause I don't suffer from headaches. I said, so, something's wrong, can you please check again, or whatever. So they sent me home, they discharged me, so I'm home.
Speaker 2:We're on day three. I got this headache, headache and it's getting worse and I'm like I don't know what's wrong. So I went to CVS and I got some BC powder. I said BC. I said, all right, let's get this done. That didn't work. I said BC. I said all right, let's get this done. That didn't work. I said, okay, something's wrong. When BC power don't work, something's wrong. I went to another hospital.
Speaker 2:By this time my eyes were sensitive to light, my fingers was tingling, my ears were getting sensitive to sound and I couldn't bend my neck and I said ugh. So I said okay. I said I kept telling her something is wrong. They said, mr Davis, we got to spend your spinal tap. Okay, fine, give me a spinal tap. Just before they were finished, they hit a place. I was like I feel that they said don't move, don't move. So they come back in the hour later and said Mr Davis, you have meningitis, we admit you.
Speaker 2:You have to pay attention to your body and if I wouldn't, I wouldn't be here today and I don't mind sharing that. It's because the simple fact that a lot of us out here we will ignore signs from our body and that's why I said it made me change my aspect of working out fitness. What's the difference between something's wrong and pain? So, and then, being in the military 21 years, I noted I knew the difference, but my body just wasn't accustomed to them anymore. But if you don't pay attention to it, we're gonna end up broke down, we're gonna end up hunched over, we're gonna end up losing a limb or something like that because we didn't listen to our bodies. So I'm really big on, just like I said, listening to yourself, because your body will tell you something's wrong and if we ignore it. It's a machine, it will break down and some people don't recover from the breakdowns. So I'm just like you really need to just focus on health yourself, listen to yourself, go to the doctors hey, you paying these guys a lot of money.
Speaker 1:You brought up a really important point about advocacy in your health as well, because a lot of times you know, people don't go to the doctors because of historical fears or they're not listened to when they go to the doctors. So you know you didn't stop when they were saying like you're fine and you're like, no, I'm really not. So you kept going and finding the right place for you, and that's something that people don't often do. So that's really important that you, you know, share that about your story, I can say like I've had similar situations as well.
Speaker 1:I experienced a depression before when I was going through breaking up in my marriage. Thank God that is over. So I had to realize that the marriage was making me depressed, the stress in the marriage was causing me more negative than good, and I had to realize that it was that thing to get out of it. And then it also pushed me to focus more on my health as well, going through that experience, more on my health as well, going through that experience. But even with that, talking with the doctors, they initially don't. It doesn't always feel like they're taking your voice seriously, so you have to continue to find another person to go to or just keep on talking. So this is just an overall message to say do not give up on your investment into your health and you do know your own body and continue to advocate for that, especially as black and brown people and advocating for what our health needs are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because, again, like it's just like you said, if I would have just been like it'll go away, I wouldn't be here, and I knew that can kill you. So you know, they sent me to a room for isolation for three days and you know, it was the worst thing ever because when the medicine, the virus was clashing, it felt like it was a war going on in my head. I was like, oh my God, I really didn't sleep and you know you don't sleep in the hospitals, no way. So and then you know the doctor's coming to talk to you and I'm sitting here like, oh my God, is this my last leg? Because this guy looks like Dr Kabuki? So I'm just like, oh yeah, no, all right, when can I get out of here? So at the third day they test me again. Ok, you get to go home. Thank you, jesus.
Speaker 2:And from that point on I said I will always, always make sure that I took care of my health. Or if I could help someone, do them, help them work out. You know it's sad. Like I said, we walk down the street or we drive and we see somebody hunched over or they're walking on canes or anything like this. Could that have prevented. Maybe, maybe not, I don't know, I'm not the one to say. But if we take our life and our health very, very seriously, we can prevent anything that comes out Now. Time catches all of us, that's perfectly fine. But before that time does, at least we can do something about slowing it down.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, what I'm focusing on right now is like how can I have whole life integration between my career and my health and wellness? So one of the reasons and solutions that I think is, you know, going into policing. So I'm preparing for my police exam and I'm making sure that I'm doing my pushups every day to get to 15, or actually I want to get more than 15. I don't like doing minimum. Minimum to me sounds basic, so I have to go above and beyond whatever expectation it is. So that gives me another push in my health and wellness by looking into the police field. You know I love education. That is definitely a part of my heart. But moving forward, I want to have whole life integration yeah, and and that's fine.
Speaker 2:Hey, come on over, we need the people. But um, like you said, we're integrated. But, like I said, even when you come into that type of career field, it doesn't stop. You just got to keep going, you got to find a way, because again, the schedules change. You know I'm saying you go from days to evenings to midnights and you know the schedule changes. And that's where the unhealthy eating comes in, because I'm not supposed to be eating at three o'clock in the morning, put them up all night and then next day you know I'm getting home and I'm going right to sleep. So it's just a balance that we have to find out with trying to work this all in. If I'm on evening shift, I work out during the day. If I'm on day work, I work out during the evenings. So you just make sure that you're balancing everything out. And then, if I'm traveling, what I do is I take some workout clothes with me because I'm going to do something. I take my jump rope with me as long as I'm doing something, to make sure I'm keeping myself active, or just go for a walk. If they got a nice little lake someplace, go for a walk around the lake. Just do something and keep yourself active Because, again, when you come into a career like that, it's a lot of stress, because now we're dealing with everybody else's problems and then some people it just may weigh on them for what you may see, what you may go through or what you know what the next call could be.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, you just got to. Always your mind has to be strong and the body has to be stronger. So you're just getting through. You know, like I said, it's just one after the other, after the other, after the other, and a lot of people say, oh, you're desens. I said it's just one after the other, after the other, after the other, and a lot of people say, oh, you're desensitized. It's never like, no, I'm not desensitized, it's just the simple fact that, hey, I have. Every situation is different and you got to deal with it differently. Every situation that you go through is different. So you have to keep yourself strong and then, once, once it's finally, the day is finally over. You just got to have that mental reset. But okay, let me go to my happy place. If it's working out, it's fine. If it's roller skating, it's fine. If it's whatever your outlet is, it's fine, but have an outlet, because if you don't have an outlet, that becomes the biggest problem, because then they go to the bottle and that's a problem in itself, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you brought up a good point of like a part of your physical and mental health is having an outlet and not using negative vices to address those needs. So when you are eating healthy, when you are going to the park and walking around, you are actually like filling your life with positivity instead of picking something that is actually going to kill you faster. I know a lot of people in my family, you know, suffer from alcoholism, or especially my family members who've been in the military. That is something that I've seen them experience. So I also know that that's not something that I want for my life because I've seen what happens to other people. So that's not something that I do often at all because I know it's harmful.
Speaker 1:So, you know, some tips are what, if you are experiencing those things like, get a sheet of paper out and write down like what brings you joy, what are the things that you do that brings you joy, and when you're going through these stressful situations, pick out that list and just pick something Like even think about like what happened when you were a child and it caused you to laugh, or even go into a comedy show or things like that to fill your life with positivity and joy instead of the negative. I know today I also went to church and I was supporting a five-year-old girl in her recital and I brought her flowers. So she got to see the flowers after the end of her recital and you know, that also brings me joy to invest in the youth and making sure that they feel filled and loved in whatever spaces they show up. So those are other things that you can do as well to make sure that you're investing in your own health and wellness while also investing in the community at the same time.
Speaker 2:Amen, because those young ones are our future and right now they're very misguided and if we can turn the table with them, they'll be fine, it's just okay. I'll use roller skating, for example. That's a big outlet. So my daughters, you know, hey, they have to roller skate. And tell them this is something I do, y'all gonna do it. So putting them on them skates because it gets them off the street. Number one, number two, it's an outlet, it's something they can learn, enjoy, and then when they see that you enjoy it, they'll start enjoying it too. And then it just gets passed down and passed down, and passed down and passed down. So see my grandchild on some roller skates. It's just an amazing thing because the simple fact that you know they're fearless when they're kids because they don't have a fear of falling. You start getting older, oh man, if I fall it's over, you know. So you know it's just watching the elevation. Then they want to learn the tricks, just like you do. They want to learn the steps, they want to learn to move, they want to learn how to go backwards. Well, just turn around. I got you. Turn around, turn around.
Speaker 2:So that's why I'm a big advocate of roller skating. I've been doing it for almost 30 years and I travel to skate. I go all over the place to roller skate and when we finish up here, I'm going skating tonight too skate. And when we finish up here, I'm going skating tonight too. So that's just a big thing. That I love to do is skating. But again, it's a part of that fitness for yourself. You're going to work up a sweat, you're going to keep rolling, you feel the music and the music is just you. You and the music are one. When you're going around that ring and there was a guy last week he was actually recording a whole bunch of us going around and I'm trying to wait to get the videos because I want to post them. So me and one of my buddies, we were just doing what we do and he was like, is that a camera? I said yeah, he's recording us. It was just fun. But that's just one of the loves that I have.
Speaker 2:It keeps the stress down Because, guess what, I'm hyped up to know that I'm getting ready to go hit this rink, I'm getting ready to go roller skating, and you know, it's just fun. Then come home, take that shower, get that rest, get up. Guess what? The hustle, don't stop. First thing go hit those weights. You know what I'm saying? Thing Go hit those weights. You know what I'm saying. Go do that jump rope. Even if I ain't got time to do all of it, at least do the jump rope. It's something, because that stress that you about to endure your body, the more strong your body is, the more stress your body can take. If your body's broke down, it's not going to be able to take that stress. I've been doing it for 19 years, I know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what's so powerful, too, about what you shared is generational wealth of fitness and that passing down the legacy of health and wellness in your family, which is something that we also struggle with in the black and brown community that we haven't had access sometimes to joy and we haven't had access to healthy options.
Speaker 1:So the fact that you're passing down wealth through fitness in your family is really powerful. So that's an example for us all. Like, I started off talking about me playing sports when I was little and playing baseball, and that is something that is a legacy in my family. I actually have a family member who was in the first Negro baseball league. So you know we have that legacy of sports in our family and I'm excited that. You know I had an opportunity to even play and I hope that one day, if I have any children, they would love to play baseball as well, and I don't know if I'm going to be as hard as my dad was on me, because he kind of raised me like I was a guy and not a girl when I was playing. It's a funny story. I remember it was my 16th birthday was coming up and he told me if you don't hit this home run.
Speaker 1:Your birthday party is just canceled, like don't even worry about it oh, wow of course, I hit the home run, though, because you know, as I said, I like to exceed expectations, so I didn't even have, I don't think I even had to run around the ball was gone. So just keep on putting that love of sports into your family so you have something to hold on to and we can get away from this stress and anxiety and just focus on joy in the work that we do.
Speaker 2:That's it.
Speaker 2:That's it. It's all about happiness. It's all about, hey, what can I do to keep being happy? Keep being happy, because there's negative things that be in our life and I'm not harping on your situation, but your husband your husband was a negative situation in your life. Right, it could be relationships, it could be the job, it could be anything. And especially when you have what's going on with the federal government right now and people stressed out you know, I'm saying that I had a job yesterday, now I have a job today, so that's, that's a whole bunch of stress.
Speaker 2:So you have to find some way to turn that around. Hey, what's my outlet? I understand that I'm going through this over this, but I can't let that consume me. I have to get myself out of that and figure this out. But I can't let that consume me. I have to get myself out of that and figure this out. But, hey, I need some type of positivity in my life to offset all this negativity that I got going on, and that's the biggest goal that you have to have. And if you're not strong enough to do it, that's the problem. Look at the simple fact that you were already defeated here, so it's breaking down everything else. If you keep this strong and this strong, you ain't got to worry about it. You just keep pushing through it. You keep pushing through it. You keep getting strong. It's like okay, I understand this door is closed, but I'm about to kick it down, I'm going to make it through here, I'll be fine, but I just have to turn this around. As long as you don't give up, you'll turn it around, no matter how long it takes.
Speaker 2:I did a podcast on this. I said no storm lasts forever. No storm lasts forever. At the end of the storm, where is that Sunshine? It's always a light at the end of the tunnel. We may not see it when we're in it at the time, but guess what, once we get out of there and you look back, you're like I never thought I could make it out of that. And you make it out of it.
Speaker 2:You just can't give up. You can't quit, and giving up on your body is quitting on yourself. And that's why, like I said, I'm an advocate for working out, I'm an advocate for staying strong, I'm an advocate for just passing knowledge, more than anything. You know, when somebody told me they can't, I said why can't you ask Well, why can't you? Well, why can't you do this? Oh, because of this, this and this. Ok, well, that door may be closed, there's always another door that opens. You can't give up. You can't give up on yourself.
Speaker 2:The biggest problem is, sometimes we just give up on ourselves. We can't give up on ourselves, even when we down, we could be defeated. You know, it seems like nothing's going right, but guess what? There's a light at the end of the tunnel. So you always, always bet on yourself. And that's what I do. I bet on myself every day, and it's just like with you. You bet on yourself every day, especially playing softball. I just find it funny that your dad motivated you for that home run. It was the motivation. He said it to motivate you. I get it.
Speaker 1:So you know what I learned is sometimes negative is a motivation for me and for other people.
Speaker 1:So you know, whatever is thrown at you just like a ball coming at you when I used to play how fast or slow the ball is coming I'm going to hit that ball, regardless of if it's a negative or a positive coming at me. I'm going to make sure that ball goes in the direction for my good. That's a part of the reason why I even started my business, because if I'm winning, I want other people to win too. So I want people to be successful in their careers and have access to resume writing cover letters. So I make sure that I do that for people. I can build websites as well, so I make sure that if you have a dream and a goal and you want to achieve it, then I'm going to give you the resources, the encouragement, the love to get you where you want to go, and that's really why I started my business, in addition to the other work that I do. So it seems like we're very similar in um. You know we can show up anywhere we want to show up.
Speaker 2:That's it. And we're going to and your website is right there, um next to your name, right?
Speaker 1:Yes, uh-huh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so if anybody's watching, you know, please write the website down. I actually went and looked at the website and I was like, oh my God, she does all these services and it's just so funny when you find out what someone do, what they do to help you, to help you grow, to invest in you, because that's the biggest thing you need to invest in you. If you don't invest in you, how's somebody else going to try to invest in you? You got to invest in you first and then you go out. But there's plenty of resources. Please, please, check out her website. It is very, very amazing, very helpful. And she said she hasn't done her podcast because she got a podcast on there also. She hasn't done that, so she hasn't done it in a while, but she's going to get back to it because she's been focused on other things.
Speaker 2:So, and I would love to be a guest on your show also because the simple fact that, again, you giving people the ability to try to help them to be successful and that's the one thing we don't have out here is support we get a lot of people that's just so worried about their selves. It's all about me, self, self, self, and we don't have a lot of people that's just so worried about their selves it's all about me, self, self, self and we don't have a lot of people trying to help each other or try to help push each other. I'm the type of guy hey, if I made it, I want you to make it too. You don't have to stay down. You don't have to do this. You don't have to just feel as though you have to settle. Someone can help elevate you, and if you take the time and all, of it takes time.
Speaker 2:It takes time. I didn't get to the point where I am in my life overnight. It took years and decades. It took years and decades and I'm still growing, I'm still evolving and I want to give as much knowledge or as much power to someone as possible to help them succeed, to help them be better than what they was yesterday. And that's what we don't have the encouragement of someone to try to help someone else do better. Because everybody feels though, oh, I have all this knowledge, I'm going to keep it to myself and no one else is going to benefit from it. And that's not right. I will help anybody, the next person, the next man, the next woman, I don't care who you are. I'll give you the shirt off my back if I think it'll help benefit you better, because the simple fact that someone gave me a chance when I was at the lowest point in my life, I want to return that favor. I want to give someone else a chance, if they're at lowest, to get them to the highest point in their life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when I earned my MBA, one of the parts of the story of being a business owner was it's important to have the generosity gene as part of your culture, of your business.
Speaker 1:So continue to give freely, because even if you feel like you invested in someone and they might've mistreated you or took advantage of your giving, it'll come back to you. I believe that it all comes back to you. Nothing you put out that's good is going to come back to you bad. So I make sure that that is a value that I live with and it also helps with my mental health as well, because I don't judge people based on their negativity right, because they could be hurting and you don't know what fears that they might have. So just give compassion and love to that individual that did not treat you well when you were giving, and good is going to just always be in your heart. So that means that you are less stressed and you're not overwhelmed. You're not going to be worrying about what somebody thinks about you as another thing that sometimes keeps people down. So just be authentically yourself in love and the generosity gene to keep on giving to people.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely. And, like I said, it's just you if you are that person that struggled or something. And now you to the point. I don't forget, I don't forget, I don't forget the people that helped me get to where I am today, from homeless to where I am now and I'm not scared to show it, I was homeless at one time in my lifetime To where I am now. It's a true testament and a true story and I said I would share my story one day. I would just probably write a book about it.
Speaker 2:But of everything know everything that what I went through in my lifetime and I know I overcome a lot of odds, a lot of odds growing up in Baltimore City, you know back in the 80s and the 90s you know they weren't giving someone living over 15 up there at that time. You know all of the drug trade was very heavy up there. You probably get hooked on drugs. You probably be selling drugs. You probably be locked up because you were doing things that the streets are now providing you because they close all our resources Rec centers, right. They took that away from us. When I grew up, mcgruff the crime dog was there. Where's McGruff Gone? Got to file a missing person report, right. So all that stuff again from where I came from to where I am now is a true testimony to say, hey, I survived every R they threw in front of me. And guess what? I'm going to keep pushing through it, because when someone said no, I told him I'm gonna prove you wrong. I'm gonna prove you wrong. You say I can't do something. Watch me. And now I have. And some of those same people that still living now still can't believe it like that. I beat all these odds. That's because I didn't give up on myself. And was it easy? No, wasn't easy at all, wasn't easy. But guess what? I'm here today and then just to meet you and to find out the services that you provide that will help someone like me right, that could be in the same situation to make myself grow, prosper, be better. So again it's you know, I tell you, god puts people in your lives for a reason, and you know, teaching your class that day, it was a reason why we all met.
Speaker 2:So the simple fact that I was ecstatic that when we talk, let's say hey, let's talk about something like this. I said let's talk about your business also because the simple fact that anyone that may be listening. I want them to have this information and they can reach out to you and that way that can help them. You know, one of the things is that people that listen to the show and I look at where they listen to the show from and one really amazed me was they're listening in Ukraine. I said this place is going through a war and they're listening to me. So I'm giving them some type of comfort, I'm giving them some type of joy or something like that, and I appreciate each and every listener that comes on here and listen to anything that I'm trying to get out, because all the negative stuff that's in this world, we need some positivity out there and this is why I'm here.
Speaker 2:I never say this is my show. I said this is our show. I tell them reach out to me. Hey, I want to hear from you. I want to hear how you're doing, because of the simple fact that, again, I understand people go through struggles. I understand people go through problems. I understand people go through everything in their lifetime. But guess what? The one thing we can do is we can help you get to someplace better than what you was yesterday. That's my two cents.
Speaker 1:That's powerful, that's really powerful and I think it's like you said it's a collective story. You know, sometimes when you're going through something, you don't realize that other people might be experiencing that same thing, or you know there are resources out there to help you navigate through an experience. So you know, like you were saying, even with advocating at the doctor's office, continue to be an advocate for your own health and wellness by getting access and keep on asking for hey, do you know someone who can help with this or whatever the need is? And not giving up in that process, because it might feel like a lot of doors are closing on you when you are asking for help, but there are doors that open and they're going to be the right doors for you.
Speaker 2:Amen to that and, like I said, I can always share my story because, again, I'm not ashamed of my story. And where I thought that everything was coming down on me, I didn't give up. I kept chipping away. I said, okay, this is what you're throwing at me. There's a reason. My grandmother said something to me before she passed away and you know, you never really understand things, what they say until they actually go and she said you better get yourself together before I leave this earth, because no one is going to treat you the way I did. She never lied. She's been gone since 1998. She ain't never lied, never lied. And I take that statement with me and I keep it with me. No one's going to treat you the way I did and I never look for someone to treat me the way she did.
Speaker 2:But what I'm doing is that I want to pass that to everyone else to say hey, no matter what feet or no matter how high that mountain is, you can climb it. You can get over it. Guess what, you chip it away. That's all. You know the big thing. They say how you eat elephant, one bite at a time, that's it. You just break it down. Because guess what, when one door closes, another opens. We don't know where it's coming from, but it's going to open. You just can't give up. It's just like again, you can't give up on yourself. And that's the biggest thing. I think a lot of people they give up on yourself and that's where all the stuff starts breaking down the health issues, the mental health. Again, it all starts up here. If you give up up here, everything else is going to go. Everything else is going to go and I refuse to give up and I refuse to quit. So that's why I go out here and I do what I do every day, because I refuse to quit and if I can help you, I'll help you.
Speaker 2:There's so many kids out here I give high fives to. No matter where I am, I'll give them a high five, no matter if they're Black, white, it don't matter. I give kids high fives Because one thing hate is toy. Right, hate is toy. And I always give them high fives. Hey, how you doing this and that? Give them high fives, speak to them and what's funny is like some parents love it and then you see some parents that will cut their eyes because they don't want you touching their kids, right, right and I just find it so funny because I'm watching and I'm like, yeah, you're the one that's teaching this hate.
Speaker 2:This hate is toy. Yeah, you know, I give these kids. They need a better direction, a better path. We need to teach them better and if we did, we probably wouldn't be having the problems that we're having out here today.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that's very true, where you might have two ideas that seem like they're opposite, but they might not be as opposite as we think that they are and both things could possibly be true at the same time. And, like you know, the idea of like teaching, hate, but there's also pain that goes along with those that hate. Where's the compassion on both sides of whatever idea so we can come together for balance to really have a solution to address what the need is? So, going into policing, I think about how In the Black community it's like oh, we hate police, then also police are like, oh, hey, we're scared at the same time. So like both communities are in pain in some kind of way. And how do we say yes, both things are true. And how can we heal both sides at the same time? And I think that's through that collective acknowledgement that both sides are experiencing pain and both sides need love and support and compassion so we can move forward as a community.
Speaker 1:So, when you are giving those high fives to the kids you know that is so powerful to being a part of that solution to the work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because, again, the kids have done nothing. They've done nothing, they're innocent. And you see, another thing is like I don't like kids seeing their parents impacted. I don't like seeing that, you know, their parents could be just dead to rights I mean dead wrong to rights but I just don't like the kids seeing their parents impacted because the simple fact, the only thing they see is that this officer did this to my parent. They don't understand the circumstances, they don't understand anything. It's just.
Speaker 2:I don't like the kids seeing their impact and generally I'll talk to them separate to say come in, let me talk to you this and that. And I explained to them look, because you're a child, this is not going to happen, but this is wrong. You are sharing your child, so you need to fix this. And they truly are grateful and understand it. They really are. And you know, like I said, I just don't like the kids seeing negative impacts against their parents. I don't, yeah, and I just when, and and the first thing I look at, I look at their faces and I'll be like, nah, we, we're going to change course a little bit. We're going to do this because, again, the child sees this and children are computers. They remember everything. They remember everything and, like I said, they don't understand what the circumstances are. They just see that this is the situation and this was a negative impact, and that's all they remember, regardless of the circumstances.
Speaker 1:That shows the value of community policing as well and how we can use community policing as a tool for healing our communities. So it's powerful work, yeah, and you know that, going back to the health and wellness not just of the officer but also of the people in our community that we deserve yeah, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2:or just getting out to know the community how?
Speaker 1:about that.
Speaker 2:You know it's something that we got to weigh with. You know, like going to the shopping centers, just walk to the store, say, hey, hey, how you doing? What's your name? Hey, okay, hey, I'm such such. Just walk around, make yourself known. That way they know who you are, who you are, that way, if something happens, they'll be like, well, he always comes in here. So you know, it's building that bridge back together and you know that's a hard sometimes. It's a hard thing we have to do because again, it's so much, like you said, on both sides Community's scared and the officers are scared too. Like, hey, you know, I don't know which way to go. So, but you know, we officers are scared too, I don't know which way to go. We will get better. Everything takes time. It'll get better. It will get better.
Speaker 1:I believe that it is one officer, one community member, one meeting, one experience at a time heals us all. That's the power of the human experience too.
Speaker 2:Right, absolutely being human, because some people just don't think that officers are human and we are. We go through emotions, we go through struggles, we go through pain. We go through everything you go through. It's just ours are magnetized a million times because of everything that you see, everything that you go through. Every call will weigh on you because of the simple fact that you know and we talked about this before coming on air, like I said, it's another show about domestic violence and you know that really weighs on someone, especially if you have been through something yourself and now you have to put yourself in this situation to go see it. So we're all human. We all deal with emotions too.
Speaker 2:It's just if that's a bad situation, sometimes we just got to remove ourselves and say, hey, I don't think this is a good call for me. Can you go in there? I'll get you another backup, but I don't think I can deal with this. And that's one thing that we don't do is we don't self-evaluate ourself because, again, if we've seen somebody beat somebody to a bloody pulp or something like that, the first thing we think is dude, you shouldn't be walking. But we can't do that. We got to treat them with the same respect that we're treating the victim. So, trust me, I get it, I done been on calls like that.
Speaker 2:And domestic violence is both sides. It's not just the men, it's the women too. It's the women too, and you know it's, it's. It's just sad that I don't understand why we feel as though that if this person leaves, then my life is over. No, you just have to take. If it's over, it's over. You go with your life. This person's going with their life. It is just too sad about these relationships of someone unaliving somebody because they was leaving them, or you know, oh no, you, my property or this and that, and it's just truly sad. And you know we have to change. That's a mindset we have to change. We have to change that and to get better in society because again, with me having daughters, that would affect me if I knew one of my children was getting abused. So I get it, I get it, but we have to change that whole mindset. But it starts with everybody being on the same page together, everybody being on the same page together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we really need to make sure that we're teaching restorative justice practices, we're teaching reconciliation within our communities, because I think that's not always. I don't think compassion is always innate. Like you were saying, if you're not teaching compassion, if you're not teaching these things to our children, then they're not going to have the skills in order to process how to deal with any kind of conflict. It doesn't have to be violent conflict, it's just conflict in general, conflict in general, absolutely Conflict in general. So that way we can have more healthy communities and healthy individuals. We can have more healthy communities and healthy individuals.
Speaker 2:Right, absolutely, absolutely. And, like I said, it's just a combination of just, it's just. We have to change that whole aura, and that's that's easier said than done. It is much easier because you talking about when we was talking about earlier generations, upon generations, upon generations.
Speaker 2:If I saw my father or my mom beating on someone else, then it gets, it's, it steals over to you and I can give you a point case like my grandfather, my grandfather, my grandmother, everything, oh man, they would feel like the Hatfields and McCoys, you know, and me growing up, seeing all this as a kid, I'm like this can't be right. You know, I'll never forget this. My grandmother she cracked my grandpa over the head with some glass bottom and left him in the bed. And when my mom came home she said you better go up there and check on him and make sure he's still alive. I'm like, oh, my God, you know.
Speaker 2:So the simple fact that you've seen all this as a kid and it's being this, like I said, you're a computer, so it's being programmed on you like, well, is this the right thing to do or this and that. So it goes. Like I said, it's generations of cycles that has to be broken to get better, and it's just like with us, like we said earlier, with health. It's generations of cycles that we have to break to get better, and knowledge is power and we just have to make sure we get that knowledge out there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think a constant message too is just acknowledging that there is a need. First we have to acknowledge that there is a need. We have to acknowledge that we have a health need, we have to acknowledge that we have a mental health need, we have to acknowledge that there are practices within communities that are not healthy. And once we acknowledge those things, then we can have solutions to address them, because if you're not aware, then you cannot come up with the solution afterwards.
Speaker 2:Yep, absolutely, absolutely. Well, I'm gonna go ahead and wind this one down. Oh my God, it's been a great, great conversation with you and you got to get those pushups done.
Speaker 1:This is over. I'm going to go back to my push-ups. Every 20 minutes I'm supposed to do some push-ups and add one more. So we've been on this for almost an hour, so I guess I got to make up for that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got to make up for it. But again, again, like I said, just hey, if you got a little bit bench press a little bit, put like 10 pounds on there, do five, do five Push-ups. You got this Hang off the wall a little bit. You got this. I believe in you. Thank you. Well, it's been a pleasure for you to come on. I appreciate you. I wish you good luck in your endeavor. Anybody that's looking, please write down her website. She offers a vast majority of services for us out here, and that's that's not us as anyone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's willing to do it, for it's for anyone that's listening. Please write that website down. Go to it, check out if you need help with anything, especially if it's any federal government workers that may be listening. Write that website down so we can help you, also Because the simple fact that we're in a sad time right now, but guess what? There's light at the end of the tunnel. But I'll give you some final words and some final thoughts.
Speaker 1:I think the overall message here is focus on your own wellness in order to then help and heal the community and then build legacy within your family. So wellness is not just an individual experience. It's an experience for your legacy and your families and our community. So you know, thank you for having me on here to talk about this very important topic and I hope that many people are healed by your show.
Speaker 2:No, I hope so too, and if anybody that's listening, I tell you there's always listening. I have an email DK and tree podcast at yahoocom. Send me any comments, anything you want to talk about how you feeling overall. I love to hear overall. I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to hear from you Also. It's DK and Tree Podcast on YouTube. Everybody knows pretty much how to reach me and you know football season is about to start you know, eventually we're going to talk about the schedules coming out, so we talk about schedules.
Speaker 2:We was talking a little trash about football before we came on here. It's unfortunate I'm a Ravens fan.
Speaker 1:It is unfortunate, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2:That's why my mother green TJ. If you listen, she's an Eagles fan. Hey, listen y'all the Super Bowl champs. Congratulations to y'all, and I definitely appreciate it. And Erica, I see you comment on Instagram, erica. Erica just commented she's laughing. All right, we're going to sign off. We appreciate each and every last one of you. Stay tuned in. Next show will be up. It's a domestic violence show. Any survivors, anybody that's in a domestic violence, if you don't even have to talk about it, please tune into the show. Maybe it'll help you get out of your situation. Maybe it'll give you some information to help you get past that situation. Or, if you want to come share your story, you can come share your story too. I appreciate you. We're both signing off Free audio post-production BioPhoniccom.
