D.K. And Tree Podcast
Football podcast for the fans Come Join us We live stream on @dkandtreepodcast on youtube. D.K. AND T.J we handle the football seasons.
D.K. and Tree We touch other topics on Wednesdays Please join us
You can now email me at dkandtreepodcast@yahoo.com
D.K. And Tree Podcast
The Silent Battle: Why Leaving an Abuser Is Harder Than You Think
Domestic violence through narcissistic control is a heartbreaking cycle that requires understanding and intervention. This emotional discussion explores the patterns of abuse, manipulation tactics, and the complicated reality of why victims often stay with their abusers despite having loving support systems.
• Narcissistic abusers maintain control through mental manipulation, making victims believe they are the problem
• The cycle of abuse creates a sense of helplessness where victims make excuses for their abusers' behavior
• Family members and friends often feel powerless when watching loved ones trapped in abusive relationships
• Victims typically need to recognize the problem themselves before they can successfully leave
• Children of abuse survivors develop heightened awareness of these relationship dynamics
• Football season kicks off with Ravens dominating Commanders 30-3 in preseason action
• Weekly Tuesday football discussions coming with TJ covering all NFL games
If you know someone in an abusive situation, please continue to show them love and support. They need to know there are people who care about them and will be there when they're ready to leave.
Thank you All right. Good afternoon, good afternoon, good afternoon. How is everyone doing today? What is going on? It is a beautiful day, beautiful sunny day here, and I just had to come on for a minute because, you know, I got something on my mind and when I got something on my mind I come talk about it. It's your boy, damon, and I'm here with the dk and tree podcast.
Speaker 1:Well, before I get on the soapbox, I just want to say, um, ravens commanders played the game today. Um, man, did y'all even show up today? I'm just saying, even though it's preseason, I'm just saying I mean only scored three points and the Ravens, uh, blew you out 30 points to three. Yeah, y'all need to. Uh, yeah, y'all need to get better, do better, do better Commanders, do better. Hey, one person does have their job and that is um, what's his name? That, that is what's his name. That's the kicker, tish, where you been. Yeah, whatever, grandpa Earn is not going to help you out on this one. Okay, I've been looking for you anyway. Grandpa Earn is not going to help you out with this. So it's all good. It's all good. Oh, yeah, I agree with you. F the Chiefs, I am totally with it. I am coming up there for the game on the 28th with the Chiefs. I will be up there. So I'm definitely coming up there to see that.
Speaker 1:But you know, I just wanted to come over here and talk to these Commanders fans for a little bit, just for a little bit, and say, hey, where they at, I mean it's preseason, but hey, why not Just throw some shade? Y'all took a L today, I mean a serious L, and I was there live in the color, and they asked me hey, man, can you do something about the Ravens fan? Man, I'm a Ravens fan. I can't help you with that, but it is what it is. It is what it is. So, again, I just wanted to come on just mess with that one for a little bit. But I came on here for my little soap opera today, and my soap opera is this I told you, when I run across things, or when I see things, or if anything comes up, it's really not good for me, because of the simple fact that I'm going to talk about it. Because, yeah, it's it. Yes, football season is here. They better get ready, and if they don't get ready, that's just too bad. That's just too bad. So my soap opera thing is basically this Narcissistic people, narcissistic people and I wanted to come on here and talk about that for a second, because here's the thing when you're narcissistic or whatever, it really does not work out good for you being narcissistic or anything like that.
Speaker 1:It's crazy. Oh yeah, I'm definitely ready. Yeah, so you know being narcissistic and you know just basically, like being in relationships and stuff like that being narcissistic and um, control. Remember, I've said this whole thing of domestic violence. Domestic violence is bad all the way around and when domestic violence is bad, it's really really bad.
Speaker 1:So you know, you have to take an account of what somebody may be going through, what someone has experienced, and then what control someone has over someone. And when you see it and you try to help the person get out of the situation, it's just sometimes the person is just not ready. You can kick them, you can say whatever you want and they're just not ready to get themselves out of the situation. But when narcissistic, it's like you can see it, but the person that's in the situation doesn't see it. Manipulation, absolutely. And when you go through that and you have loved ones that just try to get you out of this situation or just talk to you and say, hey, this is not good for you, this is not going to be bad for you and it's not going to work out good for you, especially if you have a good career or something like that, and you got somebody just controlling your life, just trying to control your life and get your life, and it's just a bad situation all around. And me seeing something like this and seeing how controlling someone or someone's using their self to try to intimidate someone else, like I am the alpha dog, I am this and you're not going to do anything, and in point case in point case, we see if they're out in the setting and if the partner goes and talks to someone and then the narcissistic person just coming up hey, let's go, hey, let's do this, you're controlling the whole area. Yeah, when does it stop? It doesn't stop. This cycle has to be broken and, like I said, it's just bad because not only does it mess with you mentally, it messes with you physically too.
Speaker 1:Generally, in situations like that, the person really needs some help to get out of this situation. It's not talked about enough. What does the receiver do? The receiver until something clicks that they have to get out of this situation. They have to get out of this situation until something clicks that they have to get out of this situation. They have to get out of this situation.
Speaker 1:And seeing something like that firsthand I said this is not talked about enough because, again, it goes on out here a lot and a lot of people don't do anything about it whatsoever. They just sit there, they take it or whatever, because my mental ain't all there. Yeah, I get it. And you know, that's just the thing, because if someone is not strong enough to get out of this situation, they're stuck and then they start making excuses for this person's behavior and it's really, really sad. And you see the excuses oh, it was my fault that I did this, oh, it was my fault that I did that, and it's not. It's never their fault. And I don't know why they protect the abuser. They always protect them. You can have family members that can try to step in. You can have loved ones try to step in. You can have friends that will try to step in and they'll defend the abuser versus knowing.
Speaker 1:Like I said, just seeing that you, just seeing that it, just it made me cringe because I saw it and I saw how it was and I saw the intimidation and I looked at it and I was like this is a bad situation. But, like I said, he, the abuser, is trying to intimidate other people like it's gonna be my way or no way. I will do something whenever I want and this person will not do anything about it. And what about my feelings? That's just a selfish spirit. Tish, I agree with you, it is a selfish spirit, it is. But remember, this is a nauseated person. All about themselves, right? They don't care what you think. It's all about them.
Speaker 1:So, again, you've just got to be strong enough to remove yourself from that situation. If you're not strong enough to remove yourself from that situation, it's a problem. And what it is is that they don't really see that it's a problem for them because they're so conditioned to being treated that way and it's really, really sad and it upsets me, because I have daughters and I never want any of my daughters to go through any situations like that, going through some man mentally, physically or anything abusing them, because the end result is something could happen to them where they don't come back from. So they need to walk away. They have to acknowledge that. Hey, this is not good for me and I need to step myself away from this. I need to get away from this. I need to do better for myself. I deserve better than this, instead of putting up with it.
Speaker 1:But manipulation, and it's two sides of the street. Men do it and women do it too, and when they don't get their way, they manipulate you, they use you, they prey on things that you know that's going to mess with you. Or this is how I know he's vulnerable, or this is how I know she's vulnerable. Let me do this, let me do that. And the cycle never ends because the narcissistic abuser keeps them in that web where they can't leave. And this is a cycle that really, really needs to be broken. And the simple fact that when they run across someone that's a man, they're not going to challenge them.
Speaker 1:Mental and verbal abuse is on the same level as physical. Oh, I totally agree with you, because if you get someone up here, you got them. It is with this, you get them here, you got them. It is with this you get them here. It's all over, because now they're defeated, because you defeated them here, so now everything else is just like oh, maybe it was me, oh, maybe I was wrong. Oh no, I walked into that wall. No, you didn't. And they get you to believe a false sense that you're the problem and they're the problem and it's a problem that needs to be addressed. And then when someone steps in or whatever, what's the first thing that they do? They take the side of the person. That's why I've learned to be solid. Yeah, I get sometimes being solid, but being out of that situation is much better, much, much better.
Speaker 1:And, like I said, you just can't reason with them because they feel as though it's always their way or no way. And, like I said, to see this, you know it really hurt me because I have daughters and I would never want my daughter treated in that type of manner in any way, because, again, you know it, just it just wouldn't be pretty, because of the simple fact that I'm always going to defend my children. I'm going to defend them and I'm not, you're not going to see your children hurt. I'm going to defend them and I'm not. You're not going to see your children hurt. So what's the same thing as your mom, your sister, your aunt or anyone, cousins, anybody, if you know, anybody is going through a situation. They need to get out of it.
Speaker 1:But the thing of it is is they have to acknowledge that it is a problem to get theirself out of it. And that's one of the biggest problems that we have when you're going through this with narcissistic people, because they're narcissistic, because believe it has to be their way, or no way, or you'll never be nothing without me. Oh, I'm this, I'm that, and it's a vicious, toxic atmosphere and it's bad. And, like I said, when I see stuff like that, you know I come share my opinion and, like I said, it's bad. They need to get their self out of it, they need help and if we know they need help, hey, just, we just try, but again, until they're ready, it's nothing we can do. And it's really, really sad.
Speaker 1:You know, like I said, just seeing a situation like that it it bothered me on the inside, but knowing there's nothing you can do is even worse. It's even worse because, again, I look at that as that could be my mother, my aunt, my daughters or anything like that, and they are just being just, they're beating them down and they're beating them down and they're defeating them and they feel as though that they can't get over that defeat on their own, or they're always feel as though they're the problem. No, you're not the problem, they're the problem. You need to get rid of the problem so you can do better. And I even give something past relationships I've even been in where someone was controlling me, manipulating me or whatever, and someone brought it to my attention and they got me out of it because they told me take a step back and look at it. And I did and I took a step back and when I started pushing back, that's when we started having all the problems Again.
Speaker 1:I just if anyone's out there, anyone that can hear my voice if you're in a bad situation, get yourself out of it, because I don't like seeing news stories on the news of domestic violence. I don't, because we're narcissistic people, at least in domestic violence, because they're controlling the person, whether it's physical, mental or anything. They'll beat the person down to make them feel as though they're the lowest form on earth and they don't mean anything. And I'm the only one that cares about you. And that's not true, because you have a whole bunch of family members out here that care about you, that love you, because you have a whole bunch of family members out here that care about you, that love you, that's concerned with you, that will go to back and go to war for you. Go to war for you? Yes, leslie, they will go to war for you.
Speaker 1:But until that person is ready to come out of their situation, there's nothing we can do but just stand by and just watch this mess that's just folding in front of you. Like I said, it bothered me a lot. It does Because, again, for the simple fact that I have daughters and I would never want my daughter to be treated any way of the sort, none way of the sort, none. So again, if you know somebody that's going through that, until they're ready to leave, there's nothing really we can do. But we got to tell them we still love them, we love you.
Speaker 1:That's not love. What you're being shown over there is not love, that's abuse and you need to remove yourself from it. But they just don't. And I just don't understand why. I don't understand why someone would stay in a relationship where someone's messing with your mind, someone's physically putting their hands on you. I just don't understand why you would put yourself through that. I don't understand and I don't really care to understand, because of the simple fact that I believe there's always you can get yourself out of it, there is a better way and there is someone else better than what you're going through. Or for the simple fact, take time for yourself, take a step back, say, hey, you know something, I need to relax, I need to sit back, I need to fix myself and then go back. But to keep yourself in that situation, that's going to lead to health problems, health issues and God knows what else.
Speaker 1:Because now you all stressed out because of all this other stuff and just best believe there's a lot more going on that we don't see. And that's the part, that's really the scary part. Because we don't see that. We don't see what's going on on the other side of the door or on the glass or in the vehicle or anything like that. Only thing you see is when they pull off, when they take off. If one person gets out, the other person gets out. It's a vicious cycle and it needs to stop. It does, but they have to try to remove theirself from that situation. That's my two cents on the matter.
Speaker 1:Again, I just wanted to come on here and just touch on that really, really briefly, because this is heartwarming. It's heartbreaking it is especially when you see it in person and there's nothing you can do about it, at all Nothing, and it just it broke my heart. It broke my heart to see. But you know, it's just they that the person just has to move on. They have to get theirself out of it. They have to do something. They have to know that they are family members, they are friends and everything that loves them, and I mean love them, and until they realize that, I think that's when it's going to get better for the person. But my prayers go out to them, you know.
Speaker 1:But, like I said, I just I just wanted to come on here and talk about that for a minute because, again, I'm really big on this domestic violence stuff. What up, bro, I see you up there on TikTok. Yeah, again, I it breaks my heart, especially, like I said, having daughters. It breaks my heart to see that that's going on and if any of my daughters is listening to this, you heart, especially, like I said, having daughters. It breaks my heart to see that that's going on. And if any of my daughters is listening to this, you know, again, I would never see my children hurt by a man at all at all, at all, but again until they're ready to get themselves out of this situation. It's really nothing you do. We just got to stand behind them and support them. But we just got to keep telling them that's not healthy for you, it's not good for you, especially when you have a good head on your shoulders, especially when you have a great career, especially when you have a lot going for yourself and this dirt bag is just manipulating you. And yeah, if the person hears it, I quietly don't give a damn. But what I'm saying is this it needs to stop. But that person needs to protect herself at all costs. Again, that's my two cents for coming on here.
Speaker 1:But you know other things. Like I said, I touched on football and because football is coming, football is coming, football is coming. So start of the season is what? Less than a week away. And you know, every tuesday, me and tj, we come on and we talk about a. What happened in all the games starts thursday uh, philly and uh dallas. Yeah, leslie, yeah, yeah, she eagles fan, so TJ's Eagles fan, so they repping their Eagles, but they're coming on. And then next thing, you know it come on Sunday All the games, sunday night football, we be in Buffalo. Oh, I got to give a shout out.
Speaker 1:Two ladies I met today. They were from Buffalo. They was at the game today and we said hey, hey, it's gonna be on and popping when we get up in there. So they saying they're gonna come on here if, if Buffalo beats us, if Buffalo beats us. They said they showed up. I said well, when we beat y'all, because they know if, when we beat y'all, y'all still show up. So they said they're gonna come on. I appreciate them.
Speaker 1:Another thing I ran across today. It was a couple. They were driving in the car and it was so funny. So the guy had on Commanders and the lady had on Ravens. So he rode and went and I gave the lady a high five. I said that's right, ravens all day. So it was funny. They told me she said hey, well, I got to give a shout out to him because this is our first date. Shout out to him because this is our first date. I said, wow, y'all went to a game together on the first date. I'm not even mad at y'all, I'm not even mad. So it was just pretty cool to meet a lot of cool people up there and even the guys up in the suites I was talking to some of them today and what was funny, they were saying oh man, you got to get these Ravens up out of here, man.
Speaker 1:I said wait a minute, man, I'm a Ravens fan. Nah, I'm not getting them out of here. I said we came in here to handle our business. So that's what we did. We handled our business. It is what it is, but it's preseason. You got to have fun with it. But hey, like I said, at least one person has their job and that's the kicker, because he did score the three points. Well, he does have the job.
Speaker 1:But again, came on here for that little bit. Please, if you know somebody in a bad situation, tell them to get out of it. Please get yourself out of it because, like I said, you know, witnessing something like this is really, really sad and it's just, it's not talked about enough. You know it's just sweeped under the rug. It's not talked about enough. You know it's just sweeped under the rug. People act like they don't care or whatever. But people actually do care, they do, and the person has to realize that their family cares about them. So again, that's my two cents. I came on just for that quick minute.
Speaker 1:I appreciate each and every last one of you listening all your comments. I appreciate you, even when this reaches you later. I appreciate each and every last one of you listening all your comments. I appreciate you, even when this reaches you later. I appreciate each and every last one of you that will listen to this show. Hey again, football week away. Go Ravens, where you at Tish. I know you want to throw some stealing stuff in here, but again it's Ravens. Hey, I rep my team all day. Leslie reps our Eagles, tj reps his Eagles, tree reps our Cowboys. It's all good, but I'll tell you one thing we all have in common we don't like the Chiefs. So, hey, I'm getting out of here. I appreciate you all. Hey, we will chit-chat a little bit later.
