TheCuratingCreativityPodcastEpisode10

What can I say: Covid-19 and submitting to film festivals kept me away.  But I promise to do better!  This episode:  you've got to listen.  Toxic people in your personal and professional life will attempt to derail your creative journey.  Boundaries and letting go are necessary.  It's not easy.  But you have to let go.  Hell, people and family have let me go too.  The only one you have to answer to is yourself.

Transcript

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Good morning, creatively constipated. This is Dr. Lor. Life Coach, board certified physician, filmmaker, writer, comedian, sometimes producer, director, sometimes actor, and this is the curating creativity Podcast. I'm actually going to probably rename it. This is episode 10. I realized I skipped over episode eight. But this is episode 10. And I did the last episode. About, gosh, how long ago was it about five weeks ago? And I need to, I'm like, so wanting to stop saying it is the way I think it's a pause in your synapses. I've had COVID. And that's caused me to reevaluate things again. Uh, yes, I am vaccinated and boosted, quadruple boosted. But I was around people that I didn't know I was kind of outside my bubble. Yes, I have not been wearing a mask. I don't even know if mask make a difference. Yes, I'm a doctor. And I'm saying that. Because everything is confusing, even for me as a medical person. But anyway, here I am. And my thoughts today are about toxic people in relationships, on your creative journey, and your journey of being the joyful, sexy, creative person that you are. So toxic people can be people that you work with. That's what you we usually think about as toxic people, family members, it can even be someone who you think really loves you. And when I say toxic, I mean that they don't support you on your creative journey. Because they look at it as disrupted, disrupting the status quo of their relationship with you. And they don't want you their relationship with you to change. Or they don't want you to speak your truth. Or they don't want you to ask questions. I have been since I was a little girl. I've been someone who asked questions, like lots of questions. Matter of fact, my mother used to slap me in the mouth. Because I asked questions. I always wanted to understand why people did what they did, why she did what she did. And I would get slapped for that. And it did silence me for many, many years. I think that's why I was able to do medical training, and not really question things as much as I could have. Because I knew how to hold my tongue and keep quiet. But I don't know how to do that anymore. I can't do that anymore. I cannot walk on eggshells anymore. Well, I can walk on them, but I'm going to smash them. I am going to ask questions. And I may point out things that don't jive in patterns that don't jive instead of just keeping quiet. So I did this with someone because their behavior directly affects mine. And I didn't want to be the cleanup person anymore. And this caused severe Fallout to the point where this person attacked me. They felt attacked. So they attacked me by bringing up things that happened 40 years ago, 30 years ago that I let it go in the sense that I didn't attack back because sometimes it's not helpful to do that. But I also removed myself from this situation and was respectful. So you can't let you have to have boundaries. Everybody says that. And you have to be around people that allow you to speak your mind and allow you to be who you are. Yeah, I know, you know, we have to work. And, you know, we have to try to get along with family. But you know what you don't have to try to get along with family. You don't have to walk on eggshells, you do not have to be around people that don't support you. We think we have to, but you don't. And yes, I am one of these people that has blown up my life on more than one occasion, to be able to do the things that are in my heart to do like to go to film school, to start in a master and fine arts and creative, creative writing program, to move for jobs that weren't the best. But I did that thinking that that would make my life better. And actually, what made my life better was accepting my what I think is my divine assignment to be creative, and to tell stories. But once again, not everyone will be supportive in is going to be on that journey with you. I had this one particular person asked me to tell their story. But I knew that if I asked questions, that they would not want to give me the answers, they wouldn't want to give me the truth, although, once again, what is their truth compared to my truth? Couldn't I just sit and listen? I guess I could. But I've decided that I'm not even going to entertain the possibility of telling this story. So what I'm saying is that when you're on a journey like this, when you are in constant self discovery mode, when you are trying on new skin, you're like a snake that's shed its skin, when you're you're molting, and trying on when your skin your new skin is growing, and you're a different person. Although a lot of the time, you are the same person. You come here with dreams as a kid, and you're the same person. But not everybody can go there with you. Nor should you put you put yourself in situations where you will be demeaned. And will you be you will be you will have to be defensive. It's not healthy. So you have to let those people go. And it doesn't matter how close they are family wise. You can choose to be around them at certain times. I've had people let me go that were close to me, and create boundaries. So I know how it feels it can feel very isolating. And you don't always understand why. But it's necessary. It's necessary. You just have to do it. It's not necessarily fun. And it doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you a person who is once again on this journey called life trying to figure it out. But knowing that the person that you have to answer to more than anything else is yourself. So that's all I want to say on this podcast episode. Once again, this is Dr. Lori and this is the 10th episode of the curating creativity podcast. And I hope you got something out of this. One other thing I'm just going to say before I end is I'm starting to do stand up comedy again. Like kind of where I started on this journey to comedy film school. So hopefully I'll get to be funny on this podcast, instead of talking about things that are always serious, but thank you for listening and thank you for oh, just thank you for listening And to my musings. This is Dr. Lori signing off. And one more thing before I sign off is how can you get in touch with me? Well, I'm on tic tac at as Dr. Underscore Lori Correction, Dr. Lori underscore the Ozone, and I'm on Instagram is Dr. Underscore LLori. And I'm on Facebook as myself, not just Dr. Lori but Lori-Linell Hollins MD, and I'm also on LinkedIn as Lori-Linell, Hollins, MD, so hit me up. Let me know what you think.