Mastering Human Behavior: Carly Pepin Shares Insights on Authentic Living and Purposeful Work

Join us on a transformative exploration with international speaker and consultant, Carly Pepin, as we unearth the profound connections between human behavior, spiritual journey, and life purpose. As she reflects on her personal experiences, including her bold move to another country, Carly provides a compelling reminder of how our internal state wields a significant influence over our lives. Gain insights on the balancing act of life, how to navigate through the stormy seas of challenges, and the importance of staying in tune with our own unique life purpose. 

Have you ever wondered how pride and humility can shape our perception of the world? Carly leads us through these seemingly contrasting themes, unveiling how they weave into our daily lives. Discover how being too self-assured may invite the universe's humbling lessons, inevitably bringing us face-to-face with criticism and challenging circumstances. From the surprising benefits of swearing to the pursuit of equanimity, this episode is sure to awaken your curiosity and stimulate introspection. 

Finally, brace yourselves as we plunge into the complex topic of wealth. We're pulling the curtain back on societal comparisons, fluctuations in fortunes, and the power they wield over our lives. Carly introduces our online workshops – 'Traits of the Great' and 'Relationships', designed to help you uncover your purpose and give wings to your transformation. Emphasize understanding your triggers, conflicts in relationships, and how to overcome them. Carly's wisdom and insights serve as a beacon of light inviting you to embark on an inspiring, thought-provoking journey towards a fulfilling life.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:48

Hello everyone, welcome to our Spiritual Spotlight series. Today I am joined by Carly Pepin. She's an international speaker and consultant with specialized focus on human behavior. Carly, thank you so much for being on the Spiritual Spotlight series. I'm so happy you're here. Thank you so much for having me. We're going to jump right in. Can you maybe share with us what inspired your journey into becoming a human behavior specialist and how has this influenced your approach to life and work?

Speaker 2: 1:16

It's actually a spiritual component. Yes, yes, which is funny I moved to another country. I actually am born and raised in the Los Angeles area in the United States. I fell into basically challenges internally and I thought that moving somewhere else would fix the problem. I apparently had to go as far away as possible to Australia.

Speaker 1: 1:41

Whoa, that is a jump Wow.

Speaker 2: 1:43

That is a bit of a jump. I went to Australia for a year and when I was there, what was really cool is that I realized that all the problems that I thought I could escape from they hadn't actually escaped. It was all coming from within. That was the first time that I ever realized that things come from the inside and not the outside. If we shift the inside, the outside will fall into place as well. It's a place that I found my first spiritual teacher, but, interestingly enough, even though she was a spiritual teacher, it definitely was in regards to human behavior, things that were applicable every day. It was cool. It's like you get to connect with yourself while having really solid, manageable tools.

Speaker 1: 2:22

I think that's perfect. I know one of the things you do is like to share tips on how to create internal balance when life naturally brings up some challenges. The outside world will impact you just the same. Can you maybe tell us a little bit about some of these tips that you have for us?

Speaker 2: 2:37

Yeah, the biggest tip that I could give everyone is, first things first is just to ensure that you have certainty on who you are and what your priorities are. Basically, that's what your life purpose is. Sometimes we'll sit and we'll say, well, my life purpose is this, but I'm actually not doing it, I'm procrastinating on it. That's not your life purpose. That's what you wish your life purpose is. But your actual life purpose is what you wake up every day and nobody has to remind you to do. It's what you move through challenges that you're willing to face, both pleasure and pain, in. That's the thing that, no matter what you're doing every day, you make sure that you're getting something done within your life purpose.

Speaker 2: 3:19

The reason why it's so important to understand that is because challenges only impact us and we only perceive that they're painful. Someone hurts us, something harms us. Because we perceive that there are more negatives than positives associated to our life purpose Not actually to us, but actually our purpose. This is funny because we could put this even in the sense of business, like sometimes there's and I know dynamic is switching it could be husband or wife, but there's one Whomever, whomever who works full time and is working consistently. Then there's another partner who stays at home and raises the kids.

Speaker 2: 3:57

What's really interesting is the partner who stays at home and raises the kids will get angry, upset, frustrated that they're being deserted, left behind by the one who works, while the one who works is angry and frustrated that the one who's behind is not appreciating everything they're doing to build a family. All you're seeing is a challenge based on two people with different life purposes. If that woman or man who stays at home can see how it's actually serving them to have their partner gone, what winds up happening is they see that this is a challenge that's on the way to their life purpose, not in the way of their purpose of family and that dynamic. If the husband can see, maybe, how, even spending more time or wife, it could be wife now, everything's just true.

Speaker 2: 4:39

Yeah, totally, Is how it serves him to even spend some more time with the kids and not so much time at work. Then they can actually see as well how that will impact with their true purposes, which is the career, which is the work. Neither one is right or wrong. But that perceptual shift internally to first understand who you are and then link how these things are serving each other and how the challenges are serving your true purpose. Once you get that, you realize it's fulfilling to go through the challenge, Then you don't have to get rid of it anymore. Then it's just there and you are like okay, I'm going to do this.

Speaker 1: 5:13

It's very interesting because my partner and I I'm the female, he's a male and he actually stays at home because he's retired and he cooks and he cleans and we've had a complete dynamic shift. And I will tell you, when we had the shift about a year ago, we definitely had to work through some perception changes about life purpose. It's been interesting, awesome. So, to your point, though, we've had some conversations maybe more like in the spiritual realm of okay, well, maybe you need to really tap in what fulfills you, what brings you joy, because you know he's somebody that was used to being so busy, busy, busy, and when people have that loss, it's like what do I do now? Do you coach people on like big changes like that? Yes, oh, tell me a little about that. I'm interested.

Speaker 2: 6:01

Yes, so that is a. It's a life change right where all of a sudden, we feel disconnected to something that we were doing before, and now we're trying to reconnect and sometimes people think they're repurposing. But the truth is and this is really quite fascinating is that the thing that you were doing before. The only reason you're labeling it as more purposeful is because you saw that the tasks and components that you were doing Linked up to your life purpose.

Speaker 2: 6:26

Anything that you do and this is great for entrepreneurs, business owners, anyone who's getting stuck right or procrastinating on things that they don't want to do you're not doing it not because you're lazy, not because you're stupid, like let's get rid of all the judgments.

Speaker 2: 6:41

You're not doing it because deep down inside, you don't see the greater why. But when we ask how these particular tasks serve our purpose and this is why I said the number one thing is get so clear on what that looks like, so true Then you get to actually see these tasks that I thought were like menial and not that big of a deal are actually serving me. It's funny because I was just working with a business owner and he has a few hundred employees in his company and he was working through some challenges and every day he was waking up and he was feeling overwhelmed and very stressed out. So the goal was for the package was to help him to basically start to release some of the stress so that he doesn't have to work as much. And we're continuing to work together. But it's funny, at the end of his package he said what's interesting is I'm busier than I was before, but I feel better.

Speaker 1: 7:29

I like that and he's not.

Speaker 2: 7:33

He's not waking up overwhelmed, he's not dreading everything, and that's not because we did anything different. He's doing all the same things. We just ask the quality questions of how all these things he's going through is serving his purpose. So now every challenge he faces at the office is something that lights him up instead of brings him down.

Speaker 1: 7:49

That is beautiful. So you advocate for creating a life by design rather than living a life of duty. What are some practical steps our listeners can start to take living a more authentic and purposeful life?

Speaker 2: 8:01

Yeah, that's a great question, and one amazing thing to pay attention to is your language. So there's something called imperative language, where when we say I have to do this, I should do this, I need to, I'm supposed to, I must, I've got to right, those are all according to someone else, something and someone that you've met along the way you perceived was better than you, had more than you, you know like had just further along than you, in some way, shape or form, you've put them on a pedestal, and something that you observed you now think you need to have to, should do. Now, notice, you'll start to notice. The things that you think you need to have to, should do, are the things that frustrate you the most, the things you procrastinate on the most, the things that you get the most annoyed when you're doing.

Speaker 1: 8:45

And that's just like mm.

Speaker 2: 8:46

Hmm, yeah that's because it's not in alignment with your life purpose. So, one, pay attention to that language. And two, the things to pay attention to, to carry forward with and really dedicate as much time and energy to as possible, is what you love to do. When you say I love to, I would love to do this, I want to do this, I choose to do this, I desire to do this, those are more in alignment and an integrity with your life purpose and your priorities, who you truly are.

Speaker 2: 9:12

And that's cool because once you start to pay attention, you'll see a pattern and you'll see the pattern in what you truly love and what's important to you. And it's really not that many things, only a couple things, and you're gonna be like, wow, I really am super dedicated to this one thing and you continue to dedicate yourself and all the things that go along with it that you have to do, do the best to delegate. If you can't delegate it, make sure that you're asking those questions how those things serve that thing that you love to do, and then, all of a sudden, those components can become more meaningful along the way. But if you can delegate it, delegate it, get it off your plate.

Speaker 1: 9:45

Oh, I love that. So you mentioned the importance of creating internal balance to better handle life's challenges. Maybe have like one or two key strategies for achieving this balance.

Speaker 2: 9:57

Yeah. So part of that we kind of talked about asking those quality questions, talked about like understanding your life purpose. Another really important thing to know, because a lot of times we try to see the positive and the negative right, and that's awesome and that's a normal thing. What a lot of people don't realize is it's also important to see the other side.

Speaker 2: 10:16

When we have pride or elation, when we get too puffed up, what do we know? We say the pride before the fall, right, yeah, when you get too proud and too elated, the universe comes in and humbles you. You attract criticism, you attract challenging circumstances to make sure that you get back on track and realize that you're not above anyone or below anyone. You're there, equal. So the best case scenario is also and this is a little trickier because no one ever really talks about this the same degree and teaches us how to do it. But to catch that pride and a great way to catch pride you'll kind of feel it, you'll feel elated. It won't feel balanced, like if you go in a moment when you're super elated right before you got humbled, also right before you fall. It's hysterical.

Speaker 2: 11:00

We're usually really proud about something like my favorite is working with people with gymmetries and stuff, or like sports injuries, and it's like what were you thinking right before that I was the best and then I broke my ankle and I'm like, of course you did. Yeah, it really lines up perfectly. So catch those components. And also, if you perceive there are more positives and negatives, more benefits than drawbacks, the truth is is everything on this planet is neutral until we put a label on it. So basically, what we're doing to bring equanimity in the mind is we see the equanimity in the world and when we can see the equal quantity of drawbacks to benefits, guess what happens? All of a sudden, that becomes a thing. We're not elated, we're not puffed up. We're not walking on stage, walking in front of people being like I'm the shit, like you're, like actually I have both sides and I'm still worthy of love, but I'm just human and here I am.

Speaker 1: 11:54

I mean you're bringing up a very valuable point, especially for people in the spiritual field. You know, on spiritual entrepreneurs they get too puffed up, they get in their ego and then you can see their businesses crash and burn. So it's an interesting dynamic. Oh, that's interesting. I've never heard it. Let's sound like that before. That's so interesting, yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:15

And it's really cool. You see it in the public as well, and you'll see it with individuals that we put on a pedestal. So we'll put these famous people on a pedestal, right. We've put the Bill Gates, we put Elon Musk is getting a lot of criticism right now.

Speaker 1: 12:29

So we're putting all of these.

Speaker 2: 12:31

Yeah, these are all of them. We've put them on a pedestal and we've made them into these heroes, but the truth is is they are no different than you, me, anyone else on this planet. They're human beings, and their specific set of priorities and life purpose has just taken them on the path to create what they have. And what's funny is other people are creating to the same degree, but they're just labeling that version as big and great.

Speaker 2: 12:55

Now, because of that, it's that's why these, these humbling circumstances come in to make sure that we see the other side, because if you put someone too high up on a pedestal, you'll never be able to reach it, you'll never match it, and so seeing both sides helps us to balance our perspectives on an individual, including ourselves, you know. So that's what I'm saying See both sides yourself. And for those individuals out there, like if you are planning on being a speaker or anything, love those parts of yourselves, love your crap. Because here's the thing, your crap, especially nowadays oh my gosh, with all the technology and stuff. I just look at it and I'm like well, anything that I'm ashamed of I have certainty at one point or another is going to be out in the world.

Speaker 1: 13:34

It's so true it's going to come back.

Speaker 2: 13:37

It's coming out. So if I don't learn to love it, then I'm not going to be able to talk about it, I'm not going to be able to share like why it was there. Help people to understand it. So the more that I love the parts of myself that are shamed and I clear that guilt and shame, the more that when and whenever it does come out and someone does come and attack which has happened before, you know it does come out and someone's attacked and I'm like, yeah, I am that person, what's the issue? And it's funny because it was in a workshop and I was like what's the issue? You're that person. If you don't like it, let's love it in you, let's do this. And you can't, you can't attack me with it because I've already loved it. So that's the important component as well.

Speaker 1: 14:19

Yeah, it's almost like taking away the trigger from it, Like it's like hey, I'm owning this and I'm giving it love and I'm not going to have that visceral response. So I can't believe you did this. 57 years ago I did do it.

Speaker 2: 14:34

You did great, like I did. I probably shared it before you did.

Speaker 1: 14:39

I'm giving it here. I'm thinking what did I do? I know I was just recently on a podcast. Hasn't aired yet and. I used a lot of profanity and I thought about it, but you know what I'm going to love that aspect of myself, because it's a part of me, I do that a lot. I swear a lot, yeah, same, Same. So I'm going to love myself and be like you're welcome universe.

Speaker 2: 14:58

I will get too puffed up.

Speaker 2: 15:00

No, sometimes people get very upset and stuff, but it's funny if you look at all the scientific research they've done on swearing, it actually increases dopamine in the brain. It's hysterical, yeah. So, especially if you're stressed out for all of you guys who are stressed out and then you swear and you feel bad or guilty know that you're actually doing that it's a physiological response to help you manage the inside perceptions and balance the mind because there's so much adrenaline coming on that that's actually a component of dopamine. It's actually crazy. I'm going to love the research in deep dive. This is not what I thought it was.

Speaker 1: 15:31

No, it's so true. Like they say, people who use profanity are generally more intelligent. And yeah the business driven ones.

Speaker 2: 15:40

So fuck that. And then, depending on the industry too, I used to work in the fashion industry and I got out of it at a certain point. I was like man and I've worked with someone in the fashion industry and I was like that's where I got my trash mouth from. I was like there it is.

Speaker 1: 15:56

And you know what? I'm a registered nurse, so you would think I wouldn't have a trash mouth. So looking at you this given your expertise in human behavior what are some common misconceptions people have about themselves or others, and how do you address these in your work?

Speaker 2: 16:13

Yes. So some of the biggest misperceptions is when you see something on the outside that you perceive you don't have within, right, like. You'll look at someone A great example is body dysmorphia, because everyone can relate to that and you'll look at someone. And you'll look at a supermodel and you'll be like they're gorgeous, they're the most amazing people on this planet, right. You'll look at someone with finances and you're like they're so wealthy, they're richer than me. But what's funny is and this is interesting every time you have a certain level of wealth, right. No matter who you are on this planet, you will meet someone who has less wealth, you will meet someone who has more, and this can keep going up until the whole scale of time, right, and then the wealthiest person on the planet. They may be wealthy for, like, a certain period of time, but they're not going to be always the wealthiest person on the planet. It's going to keep fluctuating, that they're rich and poor according to who, right? I have a friend who went to someone's house. It was a chic's house.

Speaker 1: 17:06

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 2: 17:07

It was like a $5 billion house and he had a laugh because he's like I'm pretty wealthy and he's like I'm pretty wealthy but I went here and he goes here I'm poor. I was like, yes, you are my friend. So it's interesting, even though he's considered one of the wealthier individuals on this planet, as soon as he goes to a $5 billion home, all of a sudden he's poor compared to that and so if he judges himself according to that individual, he's judging himself, not realizing. This person simply has a higher priority and purpose on finances. People judge themselves with finances all the time and they beat themselves up for not having as much money as other people.

Speaker 2: 17:47

But what's interesting is money is the number one thing to these people. It's so valuable, it's literally their life purpose to have money in the bank. That's their life purpose. You can't compete with that if that's not your purpose. If your life purpose, your first thing, is potentially your family, right, and sometimes it's beauty, and people spend a lot of money and time and investment and energy on beauty. You might be, as opposed to putting the money in a savings account like some people did. You're putting money into your family, into them going to a nicer school right. You're not scraping and saving, and so it's not to judge yourself for that, it's just to realize that there's nothing wrong with you. Whenever we compare ourselves to an outside source, you're not seeing where your true wealth is, your true investment, your true life purpose, because everything you see on the outside, you have within. Not just the stuff that you like, though, but also the challenging stuff. That's the stuff to love that I was talking about.

Speaker 1: 18:43

Yes, absolutely so. You have online workshops. You have the traits of the great program. These seem to offer deep insights into personal transformation. What motivated you to create this program and what has been its impact on its participants?

Speaker 2: 19:00

Yeah, well, it was funny. I was doing some workshops on my own my husband's also human behavior specialists and we sat down the process we teach in a relationships workshop. Now we sat down and we did this process where we saw how each other's life purpose, it served each other right and all of a sudden he's like let's do workshop together and so that was born out of our joint purpose and what we do is we go in and the traits of the great, basically, is you right? So we want to help every individual, like you know. I talk about understanding your purpose and what your priorities are. We want to ensure we have a series of questions that we ask. We want to ensure that you walk out of there having a much clearer vision and a much clearer view what that is.

Speaker 2: 19:43

Our repeat Participants they repeat it all the time and they just get more, more refined in what that looks like and then after that we actually take them through to ensure that they're shifting those prides and shames. Like that's a big deal. We're shifting pride, yeah, shifting shames. We teach you how to do it and we do it over the weekend. You're gonna do it while you're there. This isn't like a raw, raw jump up a down workshop. You're gonna get to work and at the end of it we want you to be grateful. We don't want you to have a hard opening. We want you to transform a big challenge in your life. Tears of gratitude is our goal.

Speaker 1: 20:16

I'm afraid, but I love it.

Speaker 2: 20:19

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone says it's really good, but it's we're like good. That's what we're going for, because we want you guys to have the transformation. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 20:27

Now, you just mentioned that you have another. Do you have a relationship program that you also do, or is that we do? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:34

So we also have the relationship program. We're again, we're gonna go through and we identify what your purpose is. If you've already done it, we refine it and then we actually help you to link it up with your partners To see how their purpose serves yours and yours serves there, because we want you guys to start to build that joint vision. We have our individual visions which we tackle and trade to the great, but then the joint vision with your partner which is sometimes your business partner, by the way, that works as well too. Yeah, business or romantic like that yeah, super cool. We do that there.

Speaker 2: 21:04

And then we also go through the process where you clear any charges, like you clear some major charges and triggers that you might have with your partner, just to create more love, gratitude and an open dialogue so we can increase that communication between the two. We go through a bunch of different processes. You understand why there's conflict, how to overcome it, but again, specifically understanding why there's conflict, which is fine there's a process that you could see when you're proud, how your partner comes right in and gives you that criticism, humble you and you're like, oh my gosh, nothing's wrong.

Speaker 2: 21:39

Yeah, it's true, I mean true in a relationship or has a relationship, which is every person on the planet knows it.

Speaker 1: 21:48

Amen. So you're someone who juggles multiple ventures. How do you maintain internal balance and integrate your principles authentic living into your entrepreneurial endeavors?

Speaker 2: 22:00

Yeah, so my entrepreneurial endeavors are my authentic living 100%. So that's another thing that you know. It's another workshop.

Speaker 1: 22:09

Listen, guys, we're gonna, she's gonna give us a minute.

Speaker 2: 22:13

Everything that we wanted to do, basically, and everything that we love this. When I say life by design, like we really want people to wake up every day doing what they love and loving what they do. You know, so when I think about my life purpose and what I love, it was how do you create a business around that? So every aspect of what I'm doing is part of my life purpose and so when I'm engaged in it, it doesn't feel like work. In fact, I don't. I don't like to take time off because I don't feel like I need a vacation For me to take a break. I actually it's hard on me. It's actually very hard of me.

Speaker 2: 22:47

The reason I started another business was coaching get slow in December. So usually people are taking a lot of time off and I'm a word, my husband, he would say my gosh, it's so like he's like you get so stressed out, like more stressed out in December because you're not working. I'm like I know. So I created another. It's hard, I love it. I love it. I don't need the break. I don't need the break. So more speaking gigs, more components like that, more studying on the back end. And then I started another business as well. That is actually a holiday business and that's busy during the holidays, so that you've been like today, like I was go taking care of some of that stuff too. But it's also in alignment with what I love the most and that's how I juggle it. I just love it, find what you love and you don't even think how do I juggle this. You're like, ah, let me get happen that is perfect.

Speaker 1: 23:33

Before I ask you your last question If anyone is interested in one of these million workshops or anything else, where is the best place for them to go to?

Speaker 2: 23:43

The best place to go is website so it's carlypeppincom and not allege you to the workshops and then any social media platform you prefer.

Speaker 1: 23:51

I have to say I was looking at all of your workshops you guys offer and I was like, oh, these are all amazing, like they're definitely very transformational workshops, like, and they seem so purposeful. I think it's so. Finally, based on your extensive experience in human design, behavior and authentic living, what is one piece of advice you can offer to our listeners for leading a more fulfilled and purposeful life? Yeah, we asked like 16 different ways and a bunch of different ways.

Speaker 2: 24:21

But I know we end with so many. But this is not something that's only available to a small group of people. Every person on this planet was born they're you're born with the unique, specific set of priorities, a unique life purpose, and every person is necessary to people that are the same. We don't need them, one will go extinct. So it's like give yourself the opportunity to actually spend the time, invest the time, energy, money, whatever's necessary, to find out what that means to you. Because the difference between waking up and dreading your day and waking up and saying I get to do this, I get to do that, like I'm looking forward to every day of my life, is a huge difference and it's accessible to everyone. No special needed, everyone, everyone, yeah.

Speaker 1: 25:09

I love. I really love how you put that. I love how you talked about how to shift, how we talk to ourselves, look at things that you know, maybe challenges and what lights you up inside and what are the things you truly love, and then build a life around that. And it may be maybe it's I'm a homemaker, or maybe it's I'm a mom, or maybe it's I'm a nurse, and I love that you put it. We don't have to put a label on why I want to be wealthy, like maybe that's not my life purpose and I love that that's that's. You really put that in a beautiful way. Well, carly, I want to thank you so much for coming on Spiritual Spotlight Series. It really has been amazing to talk to you today.

Speaker 2: 25:46

Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. It's been an inspiring conversation.