Her Body, Her Life: A Candid Conversation on Abortion, Motherhood & Gender Equality

Join Rachel Garrett for an open and courageous conversation on abortion, motherhood, and gender equality. This episode offers thoughtful insights for healing practitioners and seekers focused on awakening, spiritual growth, and soul healing practices. Discover how spiritual mentorship, inner light work, and aligning with your soul purpose can support healing and empowerment in navigating complex personal and social truths with compassion and authenticity.

In this powerful and timely episode of Spiritual Spotlight Series, we open the floor to an honest, unfiltered discussion about the complex realities women face in today’s world. 

Our guest dives deep into critical issues that shape women’s lives, including abortion rights, access to healthcare, the cost of childcare, and the ongoing struggle for equality in a patriarchal society.

This conversation shines a light on the emotional, financial, and spiritual weight women carry as they navigate decisions about their bodies, their families, and their futures—all while being held to impossible societal standards.

We explore: 

🔸 The deep misconceptions around abortion and the emotional complexity behind the decision
🔸 The overlap between miscarriage care and abortion procedures—and why understanding this matters
🔸 How the U.S. healthcare and childcare systems fail working mothers
🔸 The financial burden of motherhood and why some women leave the workforce to survive
🔸 Postpartum healing, breastfeeding struggles, and societal shame around maternal health
🔸 How gender roles in religion and politics reinforce inequality
🔸 Why being passionate as a woman is still labeled negatively in our culture
🔸 The ongoing fight for access to safe abortions and closing the gender pay gap
🔸 The emotional toll of late-term abortions and society’s misconceptions about them
🔸 Why valuing women’s unpaid labor is essential for true gender equality

This isn’t just a conversation—it’s a call to action. 

It’s about hearing women’s truths, validating their lived experiences, and advocating for change in policies, culture, and collective consciousness.

Whether you're a woman who has lived these experiences, someone seeking understanding, or a supporter of equality an

Transcript

0:50

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the recording of A Tale of Two Sisters. I am joined by my sister. Hello, Jessica. Hello. So for today's episode, we kind of wanted to talk about women's rights, as we know that there's a lot going on in the media today with women's rights, abortion rights, and Jessica kind of had the idea of taking it back to biblical days and kind of how women have always been the lesser sex and how sometimes when we've been empowered to speak our truth, speak our voices, it kind of seems like we're being smashed down. So I'm going to turn this over to Jessica because this is a topic that is near and dear to her heart. So, Jessica, please take it away. Yes, thank you very much. This is something I am really passionate about, and again, just because I like to talk about lots of tabby subjects that turn people off, like being an atheist, women's rights, and being a feminist is something that also makes people kind of roll their eyes at you. But for me, having two young daughters and the different career choices I've made in my life really has made it a poignant thing to be aware of the way that women are viewed in society. And I am specifically talking about the United States culture and the way that. Yes, we're going to specify this is only for the United States and our experiences within the United States. Absolutely. And again, everything that I say is always on the way. I've experienced things in a personal way and also observing the experiences of others that are around me or in my life circle. I will say, but for me, I definitely feel that the United States, even though that we're in 2023, I do feel like this is a very patriarchal society. And down to the way that women are treated. If they act in a passionate manner, they're called crazy or bitchy. Or they use all of these kind of hyperbolic kind of terms that make you feel like there's something wrong with the fact that you have a dominance in a subject. Or again, feel confident on something, and you speak in a passionate tone. I mean, look at Hillary Clinton. But this specific topic is something that I am passionate about with the overturning of Roe v. Wade. I am pro choice. And I think that is not saying that anyone may or may not personally feel comfortable having an abortion. Even that word I know makes people uncomfortable. But again, I think it's just about someone deciding what's best for their lives, for themselves, and not someone else deciding. And that was also best for their body. Yes, because that's a big thing. I've had friends who've had abortion and I've also had friends who've had miscarriages. And the medications and the procedures that they went through are the same. Right. And people may be misunderstanding that these medications may help them, or medication or whatever the procedure. And again, it's such a personal, heavy, emotional thing to go through. And I think it's very sad that a room full of men would decide to make a decision on what goes on for a woman. And again, that for me, comes back to my feelings of the Bible and the way you hear about the people that were next to Jesus and his confidants and the people that were important to him. And there's only one woman that at least is really mentioned a little bit. There is Mary Magdalene, and we all know how she ended up being a little bit a tainted subject. So for me, that kind of just resolidifies the idea that women aren't seen as equal in our society and back down to our religion. Yeah, I think you bring up an interesting point, and the one thing I do want to touch upon is how women who may be assertive or powerful in their careers, if they become passionate about something, they're labeled crazy or bitchy or whatnot. And it's like, no, I have a voice, and it's okay to be assertive. And then we're taught I work in an office. Everyone knows this. And it's like, you got to be taught how to take up space in the room and not apologize and not be afraid to speak your truth, but don't show your emotions because you don't want to be labeled crazy and don't really truly see talk about how you feel. And it's so sad because we have these expectations that are leveled on us no matter what we're doing. If we're a homemaker, if we're in the have a career, or like you said, maybe it's even your religious backgrounds. No, the man leads, and you should speak when spoken to. Being a priest, too. I like to bring up the two sisters, the two nuns, and the one sister, Mary Judith. She would be the most amazing priest. I've never met anyone who just cares about people. And she remembers everything about you. I mean, she's met my sister a couple of times that I can guarantee that she would remember everything that was going on in her life. And she just comes to you and makes you feel so welcome and insecure and love everything that you want to feel from religion, but she's not allowed to because she's a female. All these things in our lives tell us that we're lesser than because we are women. And going back to the labeling of, okay, I want to be a homemaker, or I want to be a career, and not even that phrasing to say that okay isn't homemaker. The amount of work that goes into making the food, taking care of the children, cleaning the house, all that stuff is more than a full time job. And we all see that as doing something that may be fun and it was a choice, or it just seems to belittle how much effort goes into it. And then to make it even more complicated with the way that wages are and the way that American society and how we pay people, the man and the woman or both roles could be same sex. Both roles have to work. But then when it gets to the home responsibilities, the majority of that still falls on the woman for some reason, just because in our society, we feel that these are women's work. I don't know why that's a thing. I mean, how many posts have you said or maybe you've seen online about, oh, my wonderful husband is taking care of the children. He's babysitting my children. No, he's taking care of his children. These are his children. And then it's like, I do still feel like the expectation is still on the women to still be the primary child caregiver and the primary person for taking care of the kids. But also we have to have a full time job because the cost of living in this area is so expensive, and there's no way I mean, people struggle on one income. I couldn't imagine if we just had one income, I wouldn't even know what we would do. No, it's very stressful, I would say. And it's just I think everything comes down to the idea of going back to our original topic about abortion. So the main thing that I think seems to be a misconception about abortion is that it's easy, that it's an easy way out, right? And it was a simple moment of pleasure, and now the woman has to deal with the consequences of that choice. And because they had that moment, that always feels so disconnected to the reality of, okay, you did this, and now there's a child, the woman is saddled with this huge decision. And I always found it really interesting when you look at the statistics of who is actually having the abortions. Majority of the people that are having it are women who already have other children. They've got two, three children, and they're like, I cannot afford financially be able to afford them or the time to be able to take care of them. And they're making a decision that's best for their family. Again, to take that point, though, you should practice safe sex. You should be on birth control or practice abstinence or speak with your partner about having a vasectomy. And I understand the statistic, but also be a grown ass adult, if that is that's kind of shocking. And I get it like, families and whatnot are expensive to take care of, but it's like you choose to lay with a partner. You should choose to understand what the consequences are of you having sex. No, that makes sense. I can see that we shall be responsible humans, right? And then to me, it seems like but it's a responsible choice to take a pill, to not have a pregnancy that you no longer want I mean, you got pregnant and at the end of the day, if you can take Mr. Cycline, whichever, it's all on the news. Being able to take a pill, that if something happened, it's not a very severe or expensive reaction to something happened. Hopefully it's just because you didn't take your birth control properly, or if there was something that happened, I don't know. Or even, again, in a chance of a case of someone was raped, or if there was something like that. Well, no, absolutely. I think if there is a rape situation, a medical condition, a reason to why you can't physically carry the child you mentioned before, people have miscarriages that the baby has passed inside of them, and yet they're still expected to carry this child. To then have to deliver a dead baby. I mean, that's very extreme. But that happens now because of people not being able to go eat abortions. And that to me is shocking and terrifying. I don't agree with using it as a birth control method. I think if you are responsible enough to understand of having a family and having a child, you should be responsible enough to understand that you need birth control. Yeah, I agree. I guess it's like I would think about when you were irresponsible young kid, you're 17, 1617 kids are having sex as young as twelve and 13 these days. Unfortunately, they don't really seem to understand the causal action of, okay, so if I have sex, this is going to result in a baby. I feel like a lot of that and again, it always comes down to the reality of, okay, so a girl has sex and she ends up with the baby and a guy has sex and then there's nothing else to it. Again, I always like the woman settled with the responsibility, and the woman's family is also settled with that responsibility. And it's a lot to take on. And I also think making the decision to have an abortion, I feel like for most people, it's not a light decision. You're questioning your values, your morals, and maybe you connect it with spirituality or religion. And then I do feel like it is a very deep decision that you make. I don't think people I would hope that people wouldn't take it lightly. Majority of the people there's always these videos or these ideas that women are having abortions at like eight months pregnant or something like that. And that's just an absurd idea. The idea that you're an entire baby from a woman, and that just seems it's just supposed to be inflammatory and hyperbolic for a reason. You're just trying to outrage people. But in general, if someone who's going to have an abortion, they're ten weeks, there's nothing really there. Plus, it's so new to them, you don't even really find out you're pregnant until you're, what, six weeks along. And if a woman has to have a late term abortion, that woman already has a nursery picked out and a baby's name, and it already has everything that's needed, and it's generally because of a complication or a birth defect in the baby. And again, like you said, that decision could not be lightly taken. No, they would for the rest of their lives. It's very traumatic. It's a very traumatic decision, and it's also very traumatic on a woman's body. Even though there are a lot of babies being born, it's still a miracle. Like, there are mortality rates for women dying while giving childbirth. There are statistics for babies dying during childbirth. And it's an alarming thing when you're like, oh, but we live in the United States, and we have the best medical care, and it's like, no, but a lot of people still have complications, and people could die. I don't know about you, but I remember when I had my I was like, I'm going to die. I remember with my first child, I was so nervous just to have a. Baby, I'm going to die. I wrote a living will when I was pregnant with my second daughter, that I have a living will that was written because I was nervous I would. Die when I yeah, it's such a scary concept. And I know another thing you want to talk about was, like, on the flip side of it, maternity, like, after you have the baby and what kind of rights as women do we have? And it's like we don't really have good maternity leave. No, especially healed. They are barely healed from what you especially if you had a vaginal birth or C section, obviously both of those things. And you're still figuring out how to breastfeed, and you're not moving at all. And I just can't imagine how it would be to have it where, like, in Canada, I believe it's six months of I could be completely wrong, but if I remember correctly, it's like six months of leave afterward. And that's for the mother and the father of the child because both of you were there to bond and be responsible for this little human. And then it's the reality of, let's say you're breastfeeding. I remember when I went back to work and I was trying to breastfeed, and it was so like, oh, she has to excuse herself for 20 minutes. And I was shoved in a little closet where everyone could hear what I was doing, and it was embarrassing and uncomfortable, and yet we're telling all these women to take care of their children. Through breastfeeding, and you ashamed them for not using formula. I remember my son. He's 14 years old. And when I had him, I was allowed four weeks maternity leave and I had two weeks of vacation. So I had to go back within six weeks, otherwise I was going to be terminated for my position. And six weeks to recover from having a child, bonding with my child, making eye breastfed, making sure he was able to eat, getting in a new routine, and then going back in six weeks. He was so tiny and so little for me, it felt shocking. It was scary to me. And then I remember pumping. I would get knocked all the time. Are you pumping? Are you pumping? You have to be relaxed to pump. I know. Come you got to be relaxed. You can't chill when people are like, Are you done yet? Yeah. And it's like, even now, there is shame for people who want to take it is a federal right to be able to take time to be able to pump. And then it's like, what do you mean you got to take time to pump? And it's like I don't know. I mean, this is an experience that I've seen people get angry about the fact that you're allowed to go and pump, and it's like, you need to provide for your child, and you have space to be able to do it right. I know. For me, the biggest shock professionally for me was I was working in, actually with my first daughter and my second daughter. I was in a full time, obviously full time job, really liking what I was doing. And then it ended up being to a point where I went down to be part time because of the cost of childcare and all of that. And it had to be the decision on, okay, well, I can't afford childcare. It's actually cheaper for me to stay home with my child, give up my career so that I can make more. You know what I mean? Like, there's so much taken away from childcare that I wasn't able to make the decision to stay at my career because of how much everything cost. It's just really sad. But I know we're getting really far away from the so the one thing. I do want to, and maybe this is what we close up with, is that you have two young daughters, and we have seen recently the abortion pill fight, roe versus Wade being overturned, people not being able to access, being able to have a safe abortion. Who knows? We also have a gender gap in equity in regards to pay. That's just a fact. It's even larger for people of minority cultures. I feel like before us, we won the right to vote, and you would think that we'd be coming more and more on an equal playing field, and it feels like we're no longer for me, I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. And I don't know about for you having two young daughters, how is it you're feeling with the future, with women's rights kind of playing out? I don't know. It's a scary word, world. I remember, again, learning it. It was only until the 1970s that women were allowed to have their own bank account. Yeah. It's like you can even get a. Credit card or then you had to have your dad's permission, right? Your father or your spouse. And that's a crazy thing. And then we did win the right to abortion, and then it went up from there, and now I just feel like it's a steady decline. And if you have a contrary opinion, then there's something wrong with you, and you should be fine with whatever's happening. It's kind of scary that we still see women as lesser than men in this culture, and we let the men decide more decisions for the women than men. Why should men be deciding what is going on with a woman's body? You have never carried a child. You do not know what it's like to be pregnant, nor to go through childbirth. No. Why are you making the child? And then what is the care? If you're going to mandate people have the child, then after the child is born, then the care should be there. So help me be able to stay home to take care of my kid for a reasonable amount of time. Then help me afford child care and then help me afford medical care so that I'm not saddled with all the debt from having the baby and now caring for the baby and all the medical debt from getting your shots and doing all the stuff you have to do and having. If I don't have time to breastfeed, I got to be able to afford formula. Again, it's a big cyclical problem. And again, it has to be more than just, you are mandated to have this child for whatever your beliefs are. You brought up a lot of good points. It's like, yeah, I'm going to force you to remain pregnant. I'm going to then how do you okay, then provide me with free health care. Provide me with free childcare. Provide me with free education. Provide me with parenting classes. Provide me with counseling because I was raped. Provide me with resources and support. No, good luck to you. Just have this child because we don't care. We just need more kids, right? I mean, don't worry about all the kids in the foster care system. I mean, they're fine. Don't adopt any of the ones that are already here. Let's just have a bunch more kids and see how that all works out for us. But it's okay. I can go get an assault rifle. Come on, take them all out. It'll all leave it out. In the end, it's a scary world. There's a right to a gun, but not a right to my yeah, that's the thing. I can go out and get an automatic rifle, but I can't go get an abortion. Right? That, to me, is terrifying. And right now, the United States of America, I hope that politicians really start getting on board with really solid core values that move us forward. And it's not big pharma. It's not the big massive corporations that are just profiting from either fear or from just fear. And really like, I mean, I'm sorry and I know this is off topic and we're going to wrap this up in a second, just locally. And we've seen this where people have gone down to the wrong house and been shot and killed. The recent girl, 20 years old, isn't in my county, lives in my county. And it's like, oh, my God, you mean to tell me if I make a wrong turn somewhere, I might be shot and killed? That, to me, is terrifying. Like, whatever happened to love thy neighbor? Yeah. What world do we live in now? And it's a paranoid old white male. Sorry, that's off topic. It's just scary. And it is scary. Broader thing about us wanting to allow everyone to control each other's things to be everyone to be scared, everyone to be so full of hate. And I don't understand it's like the. Stockpiling of the guns during COVID I mean, even our parents were like, we need more ammunition. And it's like, what? You don't even shoot a fucking gun? You don't hunt? Are you a hunter and a gatherer? We don't have a militia. What are we doing here, guys? Sorry. No, it is very scary and it's sad to think that it feels right now that we're getting attacked from all sides right now. You're banning books. You can have a gun. You can't take care of your body, but you can have a gun. Well, no, I would be terrified to be a black American right now. Am I going to get pulled over by the police? Am I going to be discriminated? And am I going to be and I can't speak to that kind of feeling. And I would imagine that it's very traumatizing and I would be afraid to be a mother of a child growing up. I don't even have the worst time. They're out of your sight. Are they going to ever come back? Right? That's terrifying. Well, that was a really inspiring listen. I think the biggest message that we want to take from this is that we need to start utilizing our voices. We need to reach out to politicians that are in charge and really start speaking our voices and stating our cases instead of just letting people sometimes I feel like we're being blindly led. We have to be able to say, no, this is what's right. This is what we need as a country. And then the other thing is that maybe we stop donating to all these politicians and we just send them thoughts and prayers. Brilliant. There you go. You know what I mean? Like, here's my thoughts and prayers. Children that are going to be born. Here's my thoughts and prayers and good luck to us. Great mind. I'm going to get a checkbook and I'm just going with thoughts and prayers. And there you go. Mail it off. Okay. I'm not trying to be a smart ass, but really, I'm so tired of seeing thoughts and prayers when right now we've had more mass shootings than we've had days of the year. That's pathetic. And it's disgusting. And that other countries have been able to lock this down and not have their citizens have to go through this. Why can't we do the same? No, I was at a birthday party yesterday, and every time someone would pop. A balloon, the party thoughts was being shot. Everyone's face was just completely panic and it was just a birthday party balloon. Well, how many times now do you go into the movie theater and you look around? Yeah. You look for the or into a restaurant or into your place of work. Right. You can't even go to a festival or a parade or I was excited for all these summer festivals, but well. I really want what's going to happen. I mean, Jesse lives in Buffalo. There was a mass shooting in Buffalo recently, so we just had somebody take a person hostage at a hospital here in Albany. On that note, thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers, everyone. And have a great day.