Untamed and Embodied with Tertia Riegler

#20: Embodiment changed my life

March 24, 2023 Tertia Riegler Episode 20
Untamed and Embodied with Tertia Riegler
#20: Embodiment changed my life
Show Notes Transcript

I really mean it when I say that embodiment changed my life. I look back at the insecure woman I used to be and she feels like a different person.   

I have deep compassion for that version of me who was so filled with self-doubt and constantly looking for external validation.

I imagine that part of my sensitive nature is what caused me to take everything personally and that certainly didn’t help with creating a healthy and confident sense of self.

This is actually what drew me to personal development work in the first place because I wanted to fix what was wrong with me! 

However, the art of embodied living has changed that perspective, there is nothing about me that needs fixing, just as there is nothing about you that needs fixing.

In this video, I talk about my journey and how embodiment helped me change from that insecure woman to believing in myself and having the confidence to be myself.

I want you to know that there is another way to live instead of feeling constantly overwhelmed, second-guessing yourself and having a low thrum of anxiety beating in your belly.  


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Many of you are new to my channel. Hi! And many of you have been following the evolution of my work for a while now. I know about you, I read your comments, I meet with you when you inquire about working with me. And I also know that not all of you know about my story and how it is that I came to do this work.  Today I want to tell you about that because I feel it'll really resonate with so many of you. So I want to share with you my journey and why I love this work, so that you can see how it can help you too. But not only that, my desire is also for you to find hope and to know that there is another way to live instead of feeling constantly overwhelmed, filled with self-doubt, always questioning yourself and feeling anxious.  So if you are curious hit the like button and we'll start at the very beginning. So ac cording to my mom, I've always been very sensitive to what I was feeling and what was going on in my body and just my whole emotional world. This also caused me to take things very personally because I had such a deep experience of this. And I feel that if you are a highly sensitive person like me, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. I grew up as a farmer's daughter. My father was the head of the home and the one who made all the decisions. And growing up, there wasn't much space for me to express my own opinions, to show anger. So I was a good little girl and I did really well at school. I always achieved good marks and I did well in all my extramural activities. But inside I was so insecure and I was always feeling anxious and always looking for external validation. I was always looking for other people to make me feel better about myself because I couldn't do that. I also felt completely different to all of my friends, and I couldn't understand why things that they would just take their stride seemed so overwhelming to me. And of course, taking everything personally as I have done up until that point, I came to the conclusion that it had to be me. There was something about me that was broken, or there was something fundamentally wrong with the way that I was put together, and there was just something about me that wasn't good enough. So I started becoming really self-critical, and I developed these perfectionist fantasies that, you know, if I had a boyfriend, then it would mean that someone loved me, I'm okay, and that I'm enough. And if I was prettier, I'd be more popular. So that would mean that I was enough. Or if I was funnier, then I would have more friends and people would want to spend time with me. If all of these external things were in place, then it meant that I was okay. And it really carried on like this through my twenties. I fell from relationship to relationship and I made friends, but I was always afraid that if they really knew who I was, if they really saw the real me, they wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore. And this was exhausting. Even though I was building my career and I was traveling and it looked like I had a really good life and I had it all sorted out because I seemed confident on the outside, inside, I was actually just a big mess. A big turning point for me then was when I discovered the concept of mindset work and the idea that we create our reality through our thoughts. The way that we interpret the situations in our lives, our brain filters that, and that becomes our experience. If you are then not happy with the experience that you have about something, then you change your thought patterns around it and so you get a better experience. So I started applying all of the techniques that I learned and all the principles, and I really noticed some amazing shifts in my life. But it seemed that some of these more stickier underlying things like my inner critic or this deeply, deeply rooted self-doubt, I was really struggling to break free of that. And of course, I just tried harder and I really applied myself to solving this problem and fixing the mindset that caused me to show up in this way. In this time, I stopped working in my corporate job and I started my own business where I focused on doing training and facilitation mostly for corporates. I got qualified in different coaching certifications. I did a consciousness coaching training, and I also did training in NLP or neurolinguistic programming. And then I moved overseas with my husband. We started a family. I became a first time mom. I became a stay-at-home mom. And suddenly all of these deeply rooted insecurities and these underlying things that I just couldn't get to with mindset work seemed to poke out their hairy heads and bite me in the backside. All of these external validating factors that I had used in the meantime to kind of build up my life and build up my self-esteem, none of those measurements were available to me anymore. So all of a sudden it felt to me like I was back at square one. And this was really difficult because I knew so much in terms of how to change your mindset and how to work with better feeling thoughts and how to begin to reprogram some of these old patterns. And yet, even though I knew all of these things, they didn't seem to work. My nervous system seemed to be in constant overdrive, and I was feeling overwhelmed and flat and numb all at the same time. I really made it my mission then to try and solve this new problem that I was facing. And in my explorations, I came across the concept of feminine power and of slowing down and living more embodied. And this was so interesting to me because I began to see that the approach that I was taking up until then in my mindset work, the approach was really one of fixing and solving. And that pretty much aligns with the hyper-masculine world that we live in, where it's about, you know, coming up with a solution and solving the problem and trying to understand what created this problem in the first place. As I began to see this correlation, I thought that there must be a link here somewhere between how we can work with our nervous system and our bodies and the mind at the same time. I did a lot of research and our worked with different teachers, and I went to therapy. And along the way, what I discovered was what I ultimately desired was to experience inner freedom. I wanted the freedom to believe in myself and to show up as who I was without fearing judgment, without trying to be perfect and without constantly looking for that validation. And I finally found a teacher then whose work I really resonated with. And through her, I then did my feminine embodiment coaching certification, which is a mouthful. Doing this work and going through all of the stuff that I teach my clients, it really has helped me feel different about myself. And I look back now at that insecure, anxious young woman, and she seems like a different person. My relationship with my family has improved, my boundaries have become stronger, and I've become so much clearer about what I'm available for and what I'm not available for. And of course, this is always a work in progress. We are never one and done, but really this approach of connecting to my feminine essence and my feminine self and working through the body on that internal landscape, this has really given me the freedom to show up as myself and to really feel free enough to be who I am. I know firsthand how transformative this work is, and this is what I teach my clients. I help sensitive driven women who seem to have it all together, but who secretly struggle with insecurity and self-doubt to develop their confidence from the inside out and really land on their self-worth so that they can flourish in all areas of their lives. If you want to go a little bit deeper to find art, how embodiment feels, or how this kind of methodology works, I've created a free self-love meditation, which you can download from the link in the description below. And this has really been designed to connect you to your heart and connect you to your worthiness. And if you are looking for just an idea or a taster of what working with me might be like, then that's a great starting point. If you want to go a little bit further, then you are so welcome to get on a call with me. I'm going to put another link for you in the description as well, and you can book a free call with me. We can talk about what's going on in your life right now and what it is that you want to shift or transform, and then how I can support you in doing that. So I hope that something in this video landed for you that you got some new insight or that you found it helpful in some way, and I'd love to hear any reflections that you have. So let me know in the comments. Thank you so much for watching, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye.