I've just come back from an embodiment immersion, and here where I'm sitting now in my office, I have a cup of tea and I'm feeling very grounded, very expansive, and this is an amazing space to create from to just revel in, just to enjoy. But it's not always possible for us to be in a space like this. In this time, this day and age, it's so easy for us to feel overwhelmed and numbed by what's going on out in the world. So many of us may feel that something is missing, and oftentimes we can't really define what this is that's missing, but there's undercurrent, a yearning and a longing for more that we desire. So it's super important for us to develop and cultivate certain practises that are designed to bring us back to this feeling of being expansive to this place of feeling more grounded, feeling more connected to ourselves.
And so this is why today is the perfect time for me to speak to you about the principles of living and leading from our wild and wise feminine. This is how we begin to create deeply satisfying and fulfilling lives. Hi, and welcome to the Untamed and Embodied Show. I'm your host, Tertia Riegler, feminine embodiment coach, and here to help you cultivate a life of radiance, everyday pleasure and unapologetic self-expression. Join me every week as I share how you can tap into your feminine flow so you can come home to yourself and live your life from a place of inner freedom and aliveness. When you lead from your wise and wild self, you can't go wrong. The world is burning and it's easy to feel helpless rage and overwhelm. And when our energy and our focus is out there, when we view all the atrocities that's going on in the world where we feel helpless in our own ability to do anything about that, we are removed from our deeper truth.
It pulls us away from ourselves, and the world wants us to stay there. When we are disconnected from our deeper truth in this way when we are or when we have our focus and our energy out there, we tend to other people's agendas instead of tending to our own. And in the process without meaning to, we dishonour ourselves, we betray ourselves, we keep on searching for a purpose that we find very difficult to land in. We don't know what we want, and we are challenged by making the right decisions for us. When we are living with our focus out there, when we are overwhelmed by the happenings in our external environment, we try to fill the holes that we feel inside with things like shopping or food or substances. And this all takes us further away from ourselves. It takes us further away from our bodies, from our essence, from our wildness, our wisdom, and we become more disembodied.
And so the anecdote to this is of course, that we come back home to ourselves, that we come back home to our wisdom, to our wildness, to our intuition, to our authenticity, to our joy, and to our pleasure, our creativity and our mystery. And so what the world needs at this time is women like us, women who are awakening, women who are honouring and listening to that desire and that calling that yearning for more women that long to live into their purpose, to contribute, to make a difference, to see change happen, whether it's on a family level, on a systemic level, on a global level. And so I'd love to share with you the principles that form the basis for us to be able to live from this place. And so in today's episode, I'm going to share with you four of the first principles.
And then in the next episode, I will share the rest of the principles. So the very first principle that assures that we lead from our wise and wild self is to come into right relationship with ourselves first. So we all have this good girl lurking inside of us. Although truth be told, she's not really a good girl rather than a manifestation of what the good girl is assumed to be. So she lurks in us. And even though you may be conscious of how she shows up in your people pleasing patterns or how she shows up in your overgiving, the part of the good girl that we don't often recognise or even speak about so much is how she turns on us. And this more darker side of the good girl is really fueled by shame. We have, as we grow up, our experiences in our family system, our experiences in the culture that we grow up, and then our community at large gives us messages and stories about who we are, our place in the world, our place in our bodies, the story around our bodies, and then also our value and our worth gets imprinted into us from a young age.
And so the fuel of this darker side of the good girl is the shame of not being enough, the shame of being too much, the shame of lacking in some way, the shame of not measuring up to the standards and the expectations that has been put onto you by an external authority. And of course on a logical level or a mental level, we can say, well, that doesn't make sense, or that's simply not true. Or, I can see how this is conditioning or imprinting that I'm bringing with me from my past. And yet, even if we know this on a mental level, it doesn't remove the effect that it has in our internal world. The effect is that we reject parts of ourselves, we send parts of ourselves into our shadow, into our darkness. And these aren't only the parts that we feel shame for because they are, and I'm using quotes here, "not good", but also the things that are unique about us, our gifts, our talents, the contributions that we can make.
We feel shame for that as well. And so these narratives about how we should be or how we shouldn't be, we internalise that we make it mean something about us and our worth as a human, as a human inhabiting this body and we make it wrong. So it comes out in patterns like feeling as if you don't deserve success, feeling as if you don't deserve financial abundance, feeling as if you don't deserve a good relationship. We sabotage ourselves. Our best laid plans are overridden by these patterns that keep on showing up, whether it's in our lifestyle where we take up exercise and then a few months later or a few weeks later, we backslide again into this unhealthy lifestyle that we may have had before. And so the way out of this pattern where the shadow part I want to call her of our good girl turns on us.
The way out of that is to fetch those parts of you from the darkness to go and fetch them from the underworld so that you can come back into wholeness. And notice that I'm saying here, not to fix yourself or even to heal yourself or to change those things about yourself that are undesirable. So often we hold onto the fantasy that once x is solved, once a specific problem is solved, once a specific feeling isn't felt anymore, once a specific fear is broken through, once that has happened, then everything else will be okay and everything else will fall into place. And that just happened with me last week where I was experiencing self-doubt around something. And I noticed in the process that my coach took me through that I was waiting for the doubt to go away before I felt ready to take action. And I see the same mindset play out when it comes to the relationship with ourselves as well.
It's not possible for us to have an intimate deep connection with another person unless we can first hold that deep intimacy with ourselves. And yet we hold onto this fantasy that the love, the acceptance, that intimacy with self, it'll only be possible, feasible, doable, or easy once that undesirable feeling, action, behaviour, tendency that you have once that has been fixed, once that is out of the way. And of course all that we do when we buy into that narrative is we are just setting ourselves up for failure. So we keep ourselves stuck in this loop. When we accept our whole self as we are, even those parts of us that make us uncomfortable, even those parts of us that we wish weren't so, even those parts of us that we want to hide so that no one else can see them in case it affects how we are received by others, when we accept all parts of ourselves, it infuses our life force.
It allows us to get into touch with that wild and wise aspects that are already alive inside of us. And so I'd love to share also with you now a way how to make this practical, how you can apply this in your life. And the practise here is to reflect on where have you turned on yourself. Where has this shadow, good girl, this mean good girl, where has she banished parts of you to the naughty corner? And as you land on these inside, this opens the door for us towards bringing those parts of us out of the underworld. Now the second principle of living and leading from your wise and wild self is to fill your own cup first. Now, if you have ever flown in an aeroplane before, you'll know that usually they have a safety explanation in the very beginning. And one of the things that they say is, in the unlikely event of the cabin pressure falling, then the oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling.
Before you help anyone, you make sure that you place the oxygen mask over your own nose and face first and only then can you support others. And of course that makes sense. You need oxygen to be able to move. You need oxygen to be able to think. Now, the self-care movement that has really taken off over the last few years works on this principle that we need to take care of our own needs, we need to fill our own cups. But often what I see happen is we still externalise what filling your own cup means. Often we might be mistaken to think that it means spending money on external treatments. So self-care means a facial, self-care means spending money on a mani-pedi, self-care means booking yourself into a luxury spa for the weekend. And even though those things are all very delicious, it still doesn't really attend to our deeper truth.
It doesn't attend to our wisdom and our wildness. And I'll even venture a small little opinion here where I stand on my soapbox. I speak quite often about our masculine and our feminine energy. Another movement that I see happen, and perhaps this is again our good girl that's coming out to shame us, with the self-care movement and especially with the explosion of information that's available around our feminine energy and how we should tend to our feminine through softness and through resting and through doing less, what may happen is we begin to feel guilty and we begin to feel pressurised that we don't seem to have time for ourselves. When you have a day or a week that is booked and there are so many things that are expected of you to still find space in there that you must go to yoga or that you must go for a walk.
If you use this attitude that you must do these things so that you can attend to your feminine, can you see how that puts more pressure on you? And instead of filling your cup, you're actually leaking out of the cup. It's like your cup has got holes punched into it and your life force is running out. And so when we fill our cups, what that means is that we create more ease and flow in our days. It means that we create more spaciousness within ourselves and it increases our capacity to hold more, so we become more resourceful, so we become more resilient. And just take a moment here and feel into if you were to move through your day from this place of having more capacity to hold whatever the day brings to you of the space of feeling more spacious within the space of having a sense of more ease and flow, how would that change the way that your day unfolds?
Let's take a breath. So habitually, what we tend to do is as soon as we wake up in the mornings is we go into our heads, we start thinking about the day ahead. We maybe even jump straight onto our cell phone to check any messages to see what's happening on social media. And what happens every time that we do that is our energy gets pulled into our minds. So your energy always gets pulled to where it's being used. So if you check your cell phone, if you start planning or running through all the tasks that's ahead of your day, or even if you start running through the conversation that you're going to have with someone, the energy gets pulled into your head. And more often than not, it gets stuck there, which means it just loops in your mind all the time. And there's no energy, no connection into your body.
Your wise and wild self does not live in your head. She lives in your body. And so the order in which we want to start our day, the order in which we want to fill our cup, putting that oxygen mask on is we want to tend to our body soul first and then only to our mind. So what this looks like practically is you can get up a few minutes before everyone else in your household and as you have your cup of tea or cup of coffee, I'm a coffee drinker first thing in the morning. As you have that cup of coffee or cup of tea, use all five senses in that experience. This is how we connect into our feminine is by using the senses. This is how we draw our awareness into our body, and this is how we start to build our muscles to experience pleasure.
When we spend time in our heads, there's not pleasure in our heads. You can have a fantasy, sure, but it's only really in your head. Our pleasure is felt in the body. And so using your five senses really begins to train that muscle of dropping into your pleasure body and filling your cup in that way. Another practise that you can use, which I love as well, is as soon as you wake up, upon waking up in the morning, place a hand on your heart and then check in how you are, check in how you are feeling without getting into the story of it. Simply notice what is here, what is calling for your attention and what you may need. Alright, so those are two practises that I really love and that I regularly do. Now let's get into principle number three. So principle number three for leading from your wise and wild self is to lean into the natural rhythms.
So if you feel like you are running out of time or that the demands on your time are getting more and more, this is for you. Linear time as we know it is a manmade construct and it's very helpful because you don't want to sit at a bus stop not knowing when the bus is finally going to arrive. And, our wise and wild self does not function in linear time. So linear time absolutely has its place, but for us to really tune into our fullness and to tune into a life where we are resourced, where we are sustained, we can do that through leaning into the natural cycles. Real time, if there even is such a thing, real time is cyclical in nature, and our ancestors knew that. They knew that they had to attune to whatever was happening in the season so that they could survive.
They knew as the summer came to an end that they needed to harvest because as they went into winter, they needed resources, they needed stock to help them get through the dark of winter. They knew that when the springtime came, they had to plant and tend to the field so that they could have something to eat in summer and something to harvest in autumn. So they were very connected to the cycles of nature. But as the world advanced, as we went through the industrial revolution, and even with the technological advances that we've had, we've kind of lost touch with this ancient wisdom. We have lost this practise, and this is what leads us to feeling unfulfilled and unhappy and exhausted because we never stop. We never pause. We're always moving forward in that linear timeline mindset. And it also warms my heart to see how many of us are actually going back to that ancient wisdom
now, how many of us are realising the benefit of aligning with mother nature cycle and we're yearning to start living in this cyclical way. I was just reflecting about that this morning as I did my morning practise. And I had the sense in me that I feel like a little seed. I had the sense in me that I want to pull back into darkness a little bit and begin to grow and cultivate and nurture my energy on the inside. And where I live, we are moving into winter. And so this is a perfect time for us to start slowing down, to start pulling our awareness and our intention and our focus inwards so that we can begin to create the right atmosphere, the right energy, and the right setting so that when we go into the springtime from February, when we start ascending again according to this cyclical living, that we have the energy and the impetus to start bringing whatever it is that we desire to create into form.
And here is a wisdom teaching that tells us, and I learned this from one of my teachers, the wisdom teaching tells us that when we live in harmony with the cycles of nature, we experience harmony within. So how do we make this practical? Well, you can start by attuning yourself to the actual season that you are in. And then reflect on what aspects, qualities, and energy of this season can I bring into my work, into my relationships and into my wellbeing? And now the fourth principle and also the last principle that I'll share with you in this episode of leading and living from your wise and wild self is to trust your inner wisdom. So in this hyper-masculine world that we are living in, logical decisions and actions that make sense are really favoured over the more nebulous intuitive, you can't really find empirical evidence for that kind of wisdom.
That is an essential part of who we are as women. And so when things don't feel right, we often override that knowing and we may override it out of obligation or because we feel responsible or because it doesn't make sense. And so when we begin to live from our inner wisdom, it also asks for a little bit of courage, a little bit of courage for us to begin to take that risk of betting on yourself, of trusting yourself, of trusting your inner knowing. That's what our wise woman is all about, isn't it? She is that wise, intuitive knowing part of us, and we can trust her. So the wise and the wild feminine really harnesses this internal guidance and that guidance lives beyond our conscious mind. It's not something that we can put a finger on. It's not something that we can measure. Instead, I see this as a vast collective web that's not only our own knowing from our own inner wisdom, but we also tap into the knowing of universe or God or source, whatever it is that you want to call it.
When we live guided by our inner wisdom, instead of placing our power on an external authority waiting for them to show us the way or to align the stars, we tap into universal source. And we use that energy and that power to make wise decisions for ourselves, to finding clarity within and to aligning with our authentic self, our deepest truth. And so how we can make this practical is for you to reflect on a time in your past when you listened or you didn't listen to that inner knowing, that feeling of something is right or something doesn't feel right. And notice as you reflect, if you can recall what are your, or what were your body's physical sensations, what emotions were there and what were the subtle cues from your inner world? See if you can begin to notice the pattern. How does your inner wisdom speak? What were the patterns? What are the patterns? How do you know that it is your inner knowing that's speaking and not your inner fear, ah, take a breath.
And so I'd love to check in with you now, how did this land and check in with yourself feeling into these four principles that I shared with you, the principle of coming into good relation with yourself first, the principle of filling your own cup, the principle of leaning into the natural rhythm and the principle of trusting your inner wisdom. Which of these do you imagine would be easier or more difficult to put into practise than others? Are some of these easy for you? Are they within reach and are others a little bit of a stretch? And so as we bring today's episode to a close, I'd love to invite you to join me in placing a hand on your heart. And if you can close your eyes, if you are not driving or handling operating machinery or equipment and you can close your eyes, then go ahead and do that as well. So placing your hand on your heart and just taking a few breaths into your heart, into your hand, into the space, in your chest, and just feel yourself rooted down wherever you are sitting or standing, feeling your body here in time and space.
And then as you are dropping down into your body, I'll invite you to feel into your wildness and feel into your wisdom, those parts of you that are creative and joyful and audacious and grounded and sovereign and mysterious and magical. And just rest in the sense of that here for a few breaths before you go back to your day. And this then brings us to the end of part one. Make sure that you tune in next time for more principles. If you want to get in touch with me, you can contact me via the website. I'll be sure to put a link for you in the show notes. I have two more workshops that are coming up before the end of
this
linear calendar year, and if you want to find out more about them, if you want to know when they are, then you can get onto my newsletter. This is where I share all of the workshops and the offerings that I have. And I will also place that link for you to get on my newsletter in the show notes. Thank you so much for joining me today. I hope that you found this helpful, insightful, and also inspirational, and I will speak to you in the next one. Alright, Queens,
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