If you clicked on this episode, it's probably because you suspect that you are too much in your masculine or that you are leaning too much on your masculine energy. And if that is you, then I want you to know that's nothing to be ashamed of and there is nothing wrong with you. But it's also true that when we become skilled in our feminine, we feel more resourced, we become more resilient, we feel more fulfilled, and our lives become more satisfying. I get really angry when I see some of the information that's available online that can make us feel ashamed if we are woman and we are too much in our masculine. I think a lot of times we forget that for us to be able to invest in ourselves and to invest time and even financial resources in improving our lives, it means that we have a certain amount of privilege, we hold a certain amount of privilege, and our financial situation allows us to do that.
And not everyone in the world is in that situation, right? Think about a single mom who has two jobs and all the responsibility to take care of her and her loved ones lie on her shoulders. Of course, someone like that relies on a masculine to get her through, and she is in a completely different situation than someone else who doesn't have a family, who has financial resources and who has maybe a community or a support system that allows her to focus her life force energy on something else than survival. So this is a very important point that I want to make very clear at the beginning is that sometimes it is easier for certain people to tap into their feminine because of their life situation. And for us to access our feminine, this is a skill that everyone can learn no matter your life experience.
But if you are not there yet, and if you are overly reliant on your masculine, that's nothing to be ashamed of. So in this episode today, I'm going to share with you some of the signs that you may be relying too much on your masculine energy. And I'm also going to share with you how it's possible for you no matter your life circumstance, no matter the experience or the place in the world that you find yourself in, some things that you can begin to do to tap into more of your feeling flowing feminine. I'm going to get straight into it. And I have three signs
that I want to share with you that may indicate that you are too much in your masculine. And as I'm sharing these with you, also keep in mind that there could very well be other reasons why you are experiencing this. But in my experience, our inner energies, our inner masculine and inner feminine energies are always playing a very big role in this. So the very first sign that you might be too much in your masculine and not tapping into your feminine is that you are very hard on yourself. You're very self-critical, but you're not only hard on yourself, you are also hard on those in your life. So you tend to see life very black and white. And I always think of a field marshal when I think of someone who's always shouting out orders and telling everyone how things should be. And if you don't conform and if you don't do things in a certain way, then you are wrong and it needs to be fixed and it needs to be corrected and no mistakes are tolerated.
And we can see how we do this to ourselves by the words that we use in our internal conversations. Do you speak to yourself in a nice way like you would speak to a friend or do you use really demeaning words and do you crap on yourself, for lack of a better word, whenever you do something that you think should have been done differently or something that should have been done in a better way? Perfectionism is a manifestation of how we are very hard on ourselves and how we are very self-critical. Perfectionism can often stop us from doing things out of fear that we won't do it in the right way or it could make us do things over and over and over again and makes us spend an unusual amount of time on perfecting things so that no one can find fault with it, and so that we don't have to deal with the internal conflict and turmoil that happens as a result of us criticising ourselves.
Another way how this manifests apart from perfectionism is we are also always in a go, go, go mode. It's very difficult for us to surrender and to sit back and receive. It's very difficult for us to open up because we are always pushing ourselves very hard, and this can lead to burnout because we struggle to find that balance between resting and taking action. And we need both to feel fulfilled when we lean too much on rest, it's going to make us feel lethargic and like we don't have any direction in life. And if we lean too much on go, it's going to make us feel burnt out and overwhelmed and like we don't have enough spaciousness in our lives. So if you
know that you are very hard on yourself, if you know that you are very self-critical, out of personal experience, I can tell you when we begin to tap more into our feeling flowing feminine, that intense self-criticism and self-judgment that you hold and that tends to infuse all of your actions, it releases its claws and it gives you space to breathe and it gives you space to be your true self without having to pretend and hide behind masks. So the second sign that you may be leaning too much into your masculine energy and that you need to open up into more of your feminine feeling is that you avoid your emotions and so you numb yourself. So at this point, I also want to make it very clear that there are very many legitimate reasons why it's safer for us to flee out of our body than to be inside our bodies.
There are many things that have happened to us throughout our life journey that makes us feel unsafe inside. And so we tend not to want to spend a lot of time feeling what is going on. You may be afraid that if you really feel your emotions, if you really connect with that, you may drown or that if you stop for long enough to feel what it is that wants to be known, you won't be able to get started again. And if this is you, I want to let you know that it's a completely normal fear. And I also want to reassure you that when we learn to connect with our feelings, when we have the courage to meet our emotions and discover the gifts that even our darker emotions that are hidden in the shadows when we discover the gifts that they have for us, this is liberating.
This is how we make our way past all of the experiences that causes us to flee out of our body in the first place. So the way that this manifests, this inability to feel our feelings is, or unwillingness rather I should say, to feel our feelings, is we keep ourselves busy. So it's very hard for us to switch off. And even if we switch off and we make some time to rest or we take a break from our day, often we can have these internal conflicts of I need to do something. I can't just sit like this, this is very uncomfortable for me. Or we start dealing with feelings like guilt or shame, which are interlinked with whatever emotions are hiding in our shadows. And so it's very uncomfortable to meet those. And if we don't know how to do that, because we've never been taught to right, nobody teaches us how to deal with those more uncomfortable emotions.
Instead, we often get told to just get over it or shush or calm down or get ahold of yourself. But I'm telling you again from personal experience that the path of the feminine is also a path that teaches us how to connect and excavate some of those emotions that are really uncomfortable and even scary to feel if we don't want to feel our feelings. If we are unwilling to go there, then we find ways to distract ourselves from shopping, to eating, to drinking to sex, to getting involved in arguments, all these things we do, all these self-sabotaging patterns and behaviours. We do that because we feel that if we go to where the feelings are, it's not safe there. This is a habit that we've gotten into. We teach ourselves to numb out. We teach ourselves to avoid being with our feelings. And like any kind of habit, the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
And again, remember often we do this in an attempt to survive. So there's nothing to be ashamed of. And there's nothing wrong if you have gotten into the habit of avoiding to feel your feelings, your emotions, or if you don't even know what emotions it is that you're feeling. If you've completely numbed out to the sensations in your body. The way out of this to tap back into your feeling flowing feminine is to learn how to come back into your body. We want to really learn how to drop out of the mind, the domain of the masculine up here and into the domain of our feminine, which is in the body. And then the final sign that you might be tapping too much into your masculine energy is that you often find yourself feeling frustrated or overwhelmed or resentful, like you don't have a choice.
You might be exhausted, you feel unsatisfied and you've lost your passion for life. So this is what happens if we, well, let me backtrack. We've got both these masculine and feminine energies. The way that I see it is if we just use the muscle of the masculine, the muscle of our feminine becomes dormant and we become unbalanced. We're like someone who only does bicep curls with one arm. And what you will find is that there is no balance if you only exercise the one half of your body. We are so skilled in our masculine by virtue of the world that we live in and the demands and we have to make a living right? So you have to be able to access your masculine. And so many women are waking up to feel and experience and know
for themselves that that's not enough. That's not enough. We don't feel satisfied. We don't feel nourished and we don't feel sustained. We are looking for another way. We want to do it in a different way. And the different way is to tap into more of our feminine, particularly in this point where we are feeling resentful and where we are feeling we don't have a choice or we are feeling overwhelmed. The reality is for a lot of us, we are in situations in life that we can't really do anything about our external circumstances for whatever reason, right? And this is another little bug bear that I have is the misinformation again that's available out there that tells you that if you are in a life situation that's not ideal, it's your fault and it's something that you've done wrong to be in that situation. If you think that I want you to please stop thinking like that, it's not about what you have done to be in the situation.
The power lies in what you are doing so that you are more resourced, that you feel more nourished, and that you feel more empowered in the situation that you are in now, this is where our true power lies. It's how do we ride the wave? How do we deal with whatever life throws our way? How do we deal with whatever situation we find ourselves in? And again, if we are only relying on our masculine, which is very focused on logic and problem solving and being strategic, we leaving out this whole other part of ourselves which is more compassionate, more intuitive, that is wise, that has so much space and capacity to hold whatever it is that we are feeling, whatever it is that we are experiencing, our feminine has the capacity to burn all of what doesn't serve us anymore. All of those beliefs, all of the conditions, all of the self-judgment, all of the self-criticism, all the self-hatred and the sabotage that we direct against ourselves, the feminine can take all of that away.
And I want to share with you now three very simple practical things that you can start with right now, no matter your life experience or your situation to help you step closer into more of your feminine energy. And the first is to really investigate and become really, really honest with yourself as to what is your relationship to the feminine. What you will often find if you are someone who tends to really only rely on your masculine is you may reject certain aspects of your feminine nature. I know that was definitely the case for me. And again, it's not because we are doing something wrong, it's simply because we live in a world that has taught us over thousands and thousands of years. It taught our grannies
and our moms and us that some of these feminine qualities and gifts are not as valuable as the masculine. Alright, so begin by first having a real honest conversation with yourself about what is your relationship towards the feminine? How do you feel about some of these feminine gifts and behaviours that you see in yourself and that you see in other women? And this is a very good starting point for us to begin to step into our feminine. We can't embrace something that we reject and healing happens first by getting clear on the rejections that we hold and then dismantling whatever beliefs and conditions have put those rejections in place. The second thing that you can do is really start to become curious as to where in your life are you embodying more of this masculine energy? And what's important here is to remember that our lives are not two dimensional, flat and linear.
Our lives have a lot of depth. There are many, many layers. And so it's possible for you that in your career you embody more of your masculine, but at home you don't. Or it could be that everywhere in your life you embody more of this masculine energy. And then if you've identified that you are too much in your masculine, as it were, in certain areas of your life, the next question that you ask yourself is, do I want to change that? Because this is something else, which I also feel that there can be a big misconception around often a lot of the information that's available online tells you that to be more feminine, you have to start sitting back and just receiving and resting more. They don't really speak much of the inner work that is required for you to really embrace and tap into your feminine energy.
It asks of you to start to do things differently. You need to start breaking those habits that we've put in place and do things in a different way. And there has to be willingness. Even if you don't know yet how are you going to do it! The willingness is the first thing. And then the third thing that we can do after knowing what our relationship towards the feminine is and getting clear on where in our lives we are too much in our masculine that we want to change. The third thing that we can do is we can learn how to regulate our nervous systems. And this again, is something that everyone can do. You can think of your nervous system, and this is technically it's not correct, but I like to think of it in this way. I like to think of my nervous system being in survive as the masculine part, and then my nervous system being in thrive as the more feminine part. And we've got both of these parts to our nervous system, right? And we need both of them in order to have a well-balanced and a fulfilling life. Our
lifestyle, our habits, our past experiences, our belief systems conditioning, all of that makes us live more in survival mode in our nervous system. So our nervous system is very activated and on high alert. When you can learn the skill of deescalating your nervous system and bringing your nervous system back into thrive instead of being constantly and survive, this opens the door for you to tap into your feeling flowing feminine. When we unravel all of the tension that keeps us stuck in survival mode, what it also does is it teaches us that it's safe to be in our bodies. We don't want to fly out all the time to avoid what it is that we are feeling because we are willing to meet what is here. We see that we can handle that and we can find the gifts in meeting ourselves where we are. This is how we connect to our feeling flowing feminine.
So I really hope that you can see that to be in your masculine, even if you are too much in your masculine, there's nothing wrong with that. And that if we learn how to also become skilled in our feminine so that we can lean into our feminine when we require to, this is what allows us to have a beautifully balanced life. This is what makes us live a life that is rich and deeply fulfilling. And I really, really hope that what I've shared with you in this episode today is going to help you to embody more of your divine feminine power. And if you are listening on the podcast, I'd be so, so very grateful If you could leave me a review or if you could rate the podcast, it's really, really helpful to help me get my message out to more people. Thanks so much for tuning in and I'll speak to you soon. Bye bye.