Flower in the River: A Family Tale Finally Told

Deja Vu and Genetic Recollections

• Natalie Zett

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Have you ever been seized by the uncanny sensation of déjà vu? That's today's topic on Flower in the River Podcast, Episode 17,  Deja Vu and Genetic Recollections.

Your host, Natalie Zett, embarks on a personal journey tracing back to an unassuming road trip and a mysterious manuscript that drew connections far beyond the realm of the ordinary. Echoing the words of French philosopher, Émile Boirac, we explore the spellbinding world of déjà vu, a concept that whispers of knowledge beyond our typical grasp.

This episode isn't just about fascinating phenomena; it's also about beginning anew. Here, Zara stumbles upon a previously unknown home through an "insignificant" road trip, forever changing her life. Together, let's explore how intuition can light our path in the midst of uncertainty and how powerful it can be to claim a space wholly and unapologetically your own.

Music (Artlist)

  • Farewell for Now - Boheme
  • Homebound Journey - Rotem Moav
Speaker 1:

Hello, i'm Natalie Zett and welcome to Flower in the River. Flower in the River is a podcast about a book I wrote of the same name, and that book is about the Eastland disaster that took place in 1915 in Chicago and how that long ago tragedy affected my family for generations. I'll talk about writing and family history and what to do when the supernatural comes into your life When you're innocently doing a family history research project. Come on and let's have some fun with this. So we are on to chapter 3. Finally, it's called Something's Coming, Something Good. Do you recognize that title? I bet you do.

Speaker 1:

It's a song from the play or film West Side Story. Now, i think most people know West Side Story, but just in case. So this is a modern take on Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and it's based in New York City and it's about the rivalry of two gangs. And there's this teenage boy who tries He tries really hard to distance himself from gang life But by the same token, he's torn. He wants something more out of his life. I think he's working in a grocery store and he feels his life is very ordinary and very dull And, as with any teenager, it's like God. I want something more than this. I want something more than my parents' life Sound familiar. And then I don't remember the progression of events, but I do remember him singing, something's Coming, something Good. He feels something. Was that wishful thinking because he was so bored? Or was this some kind of premonition? He doesn't know what's happening, but he feels there's a change of temperature and a shift. He knows something is on the way That will change his life forever, even though at the moment he's engaged in a very mundane task of sweeping the floor. That's how these things often happen. Revelations often happen in the midst of the most mundane activities, and that is why I gave Chapter 3 that same title.

Speaker 1:

So we've moved all the way from 1915, from the Eastland disaster, to the late 20th century, where we are continuing to explore Zara's memories. One of the shockwaves that she's dealing with is when she learns, via her aunt's family history document, that the twin cities the very place she moved to in order to start over and get away from anything familiar, including family—well, she learned that she unintentionally moved close to an ancestral homeland where various relatives, including her second great-grandmother, immigrated to in the 1860s. This great-great-grandmother is also the grandmother of Zara's grandmother, annie, and, of course her great aunt Martha. Did you follow that? Think about that for a second. A side note family history without a flowchart to explain things can get confusing. But here's the thing Had Zara not said yes to a fateful road trip that she took when she was in her 20s, this whole experience might not have happened, at least it would not have happened in this way.

Speaker 1:

So as Zara goes tripping down memory lane, she's more current at this point and she's remembering her young adult years when she was— struggling, feeling lost and still trying to find her place in the world. To date, she'd not been very successful, but even with all the blunders and the dead-end roads that she had gone down, she was still committed to the search wherever it took her. So when her girlfriend invited her to take a road trip from Ohio, where she was living, to Minneapolis, st Paul, which included a stopover in Chicago, zara says yes. She only thinks of the trip as a chance to spend time with her friend and an opportunity to visit places she's never seen before. Until that point, zara didn't get around very much. Her travels were pretty limited, and she also thinks that this trip will perhaps be a nice reprieve from the restlessness that she'd been feeling and she couldn't have been more wrong. She never thought that a simple road trip would change the course of her life. The trip at first was fun, but when they got to Chicago, everything changed for Zara. She experienced something she'd never felt before Epic deja vu.

Speaker 1:

Deja vu is a universal thing. How many deja vu things have you had in your life And do you find that, as soon as they happen, you discount them or you try to forget them, or you try to explain them away, or do you pay attention to them and try to get to the bottom of what is going on? Well, i've done both. It's not as if I've handled this area of my life very well all the time. But first a little history about deja vu.

Speaker 1:

The term deja vu translates into already seen in English. This captures the essence of the experience. The term deja vu was first coined by French philosopher and researcher Emile Bouryak in the late 19th century, so the actual word is relatively new, but it describes something older than time And it refers to the knowledge of things that are beyond our normal grasp. Again, think about that. We've all had these experiences, but we are often loath to share them and loath to admit them publicly, because, face it, ridicule will come our way so quickly, or dismissiveness, certainly. I'm no stranger to that. So of course deja vu is dismissed or explained away, but… For those of us who have experienced it, it's real and it can stay with you for a long, long time. The proof that something's coming something good would actually be revealed to Zara about sixteen years after that road trip. Again, her aunt's manuscript is the key to unlock all those connections. It hinted that Zara was somehow able to tap into the voices of the unknown branch of her family tree. And Deja Vu is very much what Chapter 3 is all about. So I will share some passages from Flower in the River, chapter 3, something's Coming Something Good.

Speaker 1:

Zara recalled a fateful, or maybe fate-filled, trip she'd taken in 81 with Carol, her then-girlfriend, when they drove from Ohio to Minnesota. The week-long vacation was to be a romantic getaway, but once we reached Chicago the atmosphere shifted from light and airy to slightly foreboding. I'd never visited Chicago, but it was so familiar. Everything felt surreal. As we walked around the city, the ringing in my ears grew so loud that I thought I might pass out. I paused at every building, captivated by the surroundings. This annoyed Carol who said It's just a city. Haven't you seen a city before? High-voltage energy waves surged and flooded my senses. The jolts subsided, becoming a piercing, relentless pain as the hours passed. I tried explaining to Carol, who laughed We have to get you out more often. You're such a bumpkin.

Speaker 1:

I often felt alone in that relationship but finally saw how cruel this beautiful woman was. What did I see in her? I asked if we could leave a day earlier than planned. Why not? said Carol laughing. Once you're in the Wisconsin backwoods you'll probably feel at home. Many a word spoken in jest.

Speaker 1:

Driving west on I-94, i-90 out of the city, i glimpsed downtown Chicago in the passenger mirror with the words. Objects in the mirror appear farther away than they actually are imprinted over it. No shit. I thought Everyone should drive through Wisconsin once Just to see an endless stretch of prairie. Paradise, with this majestic stretch of forests, rock formations, rolling bluffs, curving roads and small towns. The tranquility lasted about four hours. It happened again right around Eau Claire, wisconsin, about 70 miles east of the Minnesota border.

Speaker 1:

Again, that deja vu feeling flooded me, but this time I corked my emotions. I couldn't take any more. Put downs, senses and emotions crashed and crescendoed until we were just outside of St Paul. That's it. Stop the car Here. Here. I said to Carol, and she pulled into the parking lot of Our Lady of Angels Church near the 3M facility. I leapt out of the car lifting my arms and exclaimed I'm moving here, it's right and I belong here. How can you be so sure? you haven't even seen the twin cities, said Carol.

Speaker 1:

By then the relationship was past resuscitation and I cared little for her. Judgments Doesn't matter, you don't have to see a place to know it. This is home. I've been praying for direction and I knew something was on the way. My intuition has been firing on all cylinders during this entire trip. I couldn't figure out why until now, i needed a place that was just mine and no one else's. This was surely it. Home was truly where my heart was. Zara never doubted that she made the right move. It was intoxicating, starting afresh where she knew no one. It was also the place where she could reassemble the splintered fragments of her existence. I'm just kidding about that. But the one thing I'm not kidding about is that this podcast and my book are dedicated to the memory of the 844 who died on the Eastland. Goodbye for now.

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Natalie Zett

Host