Return of the Sober Butterfly

Return of the Sober Butterfly- Nadine's Life Updates, Summer Adventures, and Starting 75 Hard

In this episode, Nadine returns after a two-month hiatus to provide life updates and catch listeners up on her summer experiences. She discusses her high-functioning depression, a challenging summer job, and a rigorous but ultimately unsuccessful attempt to become a Pilates instructor. Nadine also shares details about her adventurous trek in the Andes Mountains of Peru, the challenges she faced, and how it provided her with clarity. She concludes the episode by announcing her plan to finish the year strong by undertaking the 75 Hard challenge. Listeners are invited to join her journey and follow her updates on Instagram.

00:00 Introduction and Catching Up
00:38 Life Updates and Sobriety Journey
03:04 Dealing with Depression and Burnout
06:49 Summer Job and Overcommitment
09:11 Pilates Training Struggles
16:57 Vacation in Peru
20:02 Altitude Sickness and Rainbow Mountain
30:21 Struggles of the First Night
31:29 Meeting the Group and Guide
32:10 Facing Physical Challenges
33:56 Bathroom Woes and Remedies
35:49 Unexpected Companions
37:47 Reaching the Mountain Peak
42:44 The Journey Continues
49:18 Reflecting on the Trek
51:12 Post-Trek Adventures
54:45 Planning for the Future

🦋 Let’s Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to The Sober Butterfly podcast
• Leave a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review if this episode resonated
• Follow Nadine on Instagram: @thesoberbutterfly

Transcript

the-sober-butterfly_3_10-16-2025_071157: 0:01

Hello? Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? Is anyone there? Oh, hi. Oh my gosh. I've been trying to reach you for like two months. Where have you been?

the-sober-butterfly_4_10-16-2025_071323: 0:22

Okay guys. Hey, all jokes aside. It is your girl. I am back. Serious question. Did you guys miss me? Did you even notice I was gone? Hopefully you did because you were locked into the show, I missed you. I gotta catch you up to speed. So today's episode is going to be mostly life updates because. I live many lives every day, and so summer just stretched on and on, but. Here we are in my favorite season fall, before we get into fall. This new season of life, this new version of Nadine, who is she? I'm gonna fill you in. I want to get into how the rest of my summer went and why I ghosted you again after. Promising I wouldn't, So buckle in. Let's get ready for the return of the Sober Butterfly. Welcome guys to the show. I am Nadine, your host, and this podcast, I mean, how can I describe this podcast? I was gonna do a blurb here, but like I don't know. We're still evolving. The sober butterfly is still in a metamorphic phase of life, and that's okay. I'm embracing. Change. I'm embracing the process of transformation and I'm not going to tell you what the show is about. You can figure it out for yourself. What I will share that I think is important information for context purposes, especially if you're new here. I am a sober girly. I have not drank alcohol in four years, so that is still true. Life update. I'm still sober. The other thing that you should know about me. I am an A DHD girly. Okay. And I was diagnosed pretty late in life like this time last year, so it's been officially a year since I've had my diagnosis. And it has completely changed my life because now I'm understanding more about how my brain works, and especially in relation to when I was drinking as a form of. Self medication and all of the things. But yeah, welcome if you're new here, if you've been with me for a while, thank you for sticking it through and being here today. You know, firsthand, just, how all over the place this show is, but I think that's part of our charm. I'd like to think of it as what makes the Sober Butterfly Podcast special and different from all of the other great podcasts out there. Okay, so like those two things know about me, I don't drink and I have a DHD. So this show is very much a reflection of those two things. More specific though to life and my updates. I have shared pretty openly all year that I was depressed, 2025, Q1, Q2. Are we in Q4? I think we're like in Q3 going into four. I was pretty beat up. Okay. I was pretty open about my struggles here on the podcast, I'd been depressed before. So I recognized some of the red flags and the symptoms and blah, blah, blah. I knew something was going on deeper than a little seasonal depression or bout of birthday blues. It wasn't that. It was depression, high functioning depression, I realized, and that really came to ahead this summer. So for those who may not know and even people that have been around, I don't really talk about like my professional life beyond creating content on this platform. But I'm a full-time teacher. I work in a high school, a public high school in New York City, and that has been my career. Since I pretty much graduated college, so for the past 11 ish years I've been teaching. And summer, you think, oh, that's one of the major perks of the job. You have time off. You can unwind and decompress and reset and all of the things. But I'm not your average teacher or average person. I am very much an extremist and I'm very much someone who needs to. Feel like she has a purpose and very early in my therapy journey, back when I was actually still drinking in 2021, I remember my therapist pretty early on spotting that I have an issue with boredom. I have a problem with not having things to do. I create chaos. And so she very politely gave me my prognosis and she's like, yeah, you are someone who's dangerous or like destructive when you are bored. And I was like, yeah, bet you are correct about that assertion after 45 minutes of meeting me. Once I realized that about myself. In my drinking days at that time, and then subsequently getting sober. I know that I am good with a project like your girl has to be doing things, and I don't know if that's a defense mechanism. I don't know if that's a trauma response. I don't know if that's even a healthy response. It is just my default mode and I've learned to channel. All of the boundless energy I feel as an A DHD, girly coupled with being an Aries I have so much energy, I gotta get it out. And before I was drinking to do that, and now I constantly feel like I have to be doing things in sobriety, the having 101 hobbies, sober memes that I make, I'm describing myself, like I'm that girl. So just to kind of rewind back and connect the dots my mental wellbeing this year was not well. A state of high functioning depression and then summer gets here and instead of taking the time I needed to truly reset and process and work through this depression. It was almost like a low grade. I don't wanna call it a low grade depression because I feel like that undermines how bad it was at certain points this year. But I will say it didn't feel like the last notable depressive spells I've had. One in COVID right before I got sober and the other when my dad died in college. So it didn't feel as dramatic as that. So that's why I'm referring to my depressive episode as low grade. But there were definitely. Boiling points. But basically this summer I was at my boiling point, I was feeling burnout. And literally grinding myself into the ground. So I accepted this summer job that I normally do, in this economy, really recommend having multiple streams of income. I'm a teacher, guys, so I work this summer gig. I've been doing it for many years

Nadine Mulvina: 7:05

Have you ever wished you could dive into a great story while on the go? Maybe that's during your daily commute or even while working out. Well, now you can, thanks to Audible. Audible is the leading provider of spoken word entertainment in audiobooks, and with Audible, you can turn any moment into a storytime adventure. Imagine having access to an unmatched selection of audiobooks, right now. Audible is not just a library. It's a whole Experience with a vast collection of genres from mystery to romance to self help and business Audible has something for everyone and here's the best part Your first month is on me check the show notes below and visit audible. com slash tsb24 to start your free trial today. Whether you're a seasoned book lover or just getting started, Audible is the perfect companion for your reading journey. So why wait? Head over to audible. com slash tsb24. Audible. Because the best stories are meant to be heard.

the-sober-butterfly_5_10-16-2025_072432: 8:18

Okay, let me set the scene for you July 20, 25, and instead of having my Hot girl summer, which I actually did co-host an event with these two sober influencers. It was a sober girl meetup in Central Park and it was a lot of fun. But like that was going on in the background of my life, coupled with me accepting a role with this organization that I work with in the summers to help train new teachers. Coupled with beginning my Pilates training journey and it was just too much. I was working three jobs basically, and also trying to produce this podcast, and it was just too much. Like I signed up for too much. Even though I was still making the show, it wasn't something that I was being as intentional or thoughtful around. So I just decided like I couldn't do it anymore. Like I was working about 70 hours for my summer job, then my Pilates training started, which I'll take a moment here to kind of get into what that was about, because I never officially announced that I was becoming a Pilates instructor, and now in hindsight, I'm like, good, because spoiler alert, I am not becoming a Pilates instructor. I didn't tell you guys this and I don't know why, but I think in the, maybe, you know what, in hindsight there was a gut feeling that it wasn't gonna work out why didn't I share that? I was on this journey? That's not like me. I'm pretty open about everything going on in my life, especially here on the show. So I don't know why I didn't tell you guys, but yeah, I auditioned with a local Pilates studio here in New York I had been a member of that studio like the year before for a couple months, but I wasn't like a long-term client or anything like that. So in the spring I received an email from the studio because I was still on their mailing list, and it said that they were looking for. New instructors. I went on the audition and I got it. now I wanna tell you guys as much without. Breaching my NDAI did sign an NDA that basically said I couldn't discuss the specifics around my training. So I'm also not gonna tell you the name of the studio just because I don't wanna get sued, guys. It's not that deep, like I'll tell you that much. The particular studio I worked for reminded me of what I would imagine. A dance school would be like, actually they kind of reminded me a little bit of Dallas cowboy cheerleaders, like the show on Netflix, if you've ever seen that. That dance mom type of vibe is how it felt. And I don't know if I was a diversity hire, I'm gonna just say that on the record, and I'm not somebody who defaults to thinking that everything is a racially charged situation or incident, but I can't help but wonder if, you know, being the only black girl on a staff of like 12 to 15 instructors and a ton of front desk girlies that come in and out, like it just felt a little unwelcoming or like, not unwelcoming'cause they were nice. They were nice. Okay. They were nice. If you're not watching this, you can't see my face right now, but like, it was very like pc Nice. I'll say like politically correct. Nice. Especially the more I went through the process, I just felt like there was always an edge or I was always like kind of under a microscope, and Maybe that's me being paranoid, but that dance culture felt very real. I'll say like a lot of the instructors are former dancers or current dancers and have years of experience in ballet and all the things. And like I stopped taking ballet at like seven. I didn't grow up in that world.

the-sober-butterfly_6_10-16-2025_073519: 12:11

I didn't go to Julliard, but I would imagine that was like the culture and I wanna be self-aware in this and say like, I was not perfect, like I could've done more. And now I realize that my why maybe wasn't strong enough. Like my reason for doing this wasn't strong enough. I'll say maybe it wasn't just strong enough I know I should have been carving out more time to rehearse, but because I was spending so many hours at work, I. Had a hard time balancing both, and I didn't balance both. Like I definitely gave more attention to the work stuff than the Pilates training. So in a nutshell, it wasn't a good fit. Oh wait, hold on. Let me quote that. Air quotes, it wasn't a good fit. Like that was the final Zoom goodbye meeting that I got after, you know, I. Went into the studio every day, like you couldn't even tell me in person. You had to put me on a Zoom call. And when I ask you like what the call is about,'cause that's weird. Like why do you wanna see me on a Zoom call when you see me in the studio every day,. And when I ask what this is about, you just say it's related to. Checking in about how my training's going, just to later deliver on that call that it isn't a good fit. Yeah, I don't like that. Like that part felt icky. So like, I wanna be self-aware and say I. Didn't realize how much this training fully entailed, and I had every intention to give it my all the summer. But because I took on a larger role with my summer job, that really did not leave much time for Pilates training. And so, yeah, it just wasn't a priority, but it helped me realize that, you know, I. I wrote down initially when I was reflecting on this, like, be careful what you wish for, but it's not a case I think of like, be careful what you wish for because I wanted to be a Pilates instructor for the last two years that's been on my Pinterest vision board. Like I want to teach and I'm a teacher. So those skills come naturally to me, but it doesn't necessarily translate into the studio. Like it doesn't necessarily mean that. Because I like to practice Pilates. I need to therefore lead and teach it. And yeah, when I was training, I was miserable. I cried so much. I received so many passive aggressive emails and it just was too much. Another thing is I was also one of the oldest girls there, aside from the owner, I think I was the eldest and so. I just didn't fit in. She's right. It wasn't a good fit. And I'm so glad that I learned the lesson of releasing because I was so afraid to quit. I was so afraid to be the one to throw in the towel and say like, I can't do this, or this isn't for me. Also, when I signed my contract to work with'em, I would owe them money if I quit because. They, you know, had to recoup their investment. So I had to commit to a year of working with them after I got certified, but they let me go, the release was needed because when I tell you guys since I have released Pilates training, I feel so much better. Like it actually coincides with my depression lifting. So yeah, July was rough for me, like between working 70 hours for that job and then putting in like 10 hours of Pilates time training. And I should have been putting more time to be honest with you, like that's why my feedback wasn't that great, but that's all I could give. I just felt like I was drowning. And then, I co-hosted this. So we're meet up with a group of influencers and sober women that came to Central Park this summer. And that was fun, but I felt like I was barely there. I wasn't very present because so many things were running through my mind but I did it. Because I also didn't wanna quit that. So something had to give. I was burnt out, and unfortunately this podcast became collateral damage in my decision to just sort of, it wasn't even a true decision to be honest with you. I just one day was like, oh my God, I don't have an episode, and Friday is tomorrow, and I just. I can't. And then I was like, I'll do it next week, or I'll send something out with my newsletter and explain or put something on Insta and I just didn't because I was barely on social and I barely had time to call my mom back. You know? Like it was just that busy and I was that miserable. So July was a lot.

the-sober-butterfly_7_10-16-2025_074220: 16:57

In August, I was done with that summer job and that freed up a lot of time so I devoted more time naturally to training for the Pilates certification. But that studio, and then I took a vacation. I should air quote that vacation towards the end of August after I had that big corporate training for Pilates. And I am air quoting vacation because. When most people, you know, vacation, it's relaxing, you probably picture a beach, it's August. And to be fair, I normally do go to a beach, but this year I had the brilliant idea to do something different. Because July wasn't challenging enough, I just had to push myself even further and decided that I was going to do a five day trek along the Andes Mountains in. In Cusco, Peru at an altitude above 15,000 feet at certain points. And yeah, I thought that was a good idea. I thought doing a five day multi hike with one of my best travel friends. I coerced her into this experience with me. Thank God she was there.'cause I literally wouldn't have died without her. Kim, if you're listening, I love you. Thank you. Also, just thank you for being down to do anything because you need friends like that. You need friends who will always keep your row with you and tell you what it is, even when you don't wanna hear it. And you need friends who will just go with the flow. Like my good Libra girl, Kim, she just goes with the flow. I'm like, do you wanna go? To Germany next week and yeah, let's fucking go. Like literally conversations we've had. So Kim has known me for. Five years plus she knew me when I was very much at my low point in life. So circa 2020 to 2021, we're both living in Mexico City and we randomly met outside of CL, which is this what do you call it? Oh my gosh. On the bikes I used to SoulCycle cycling class. Wow. So we met in a cycling class and I always like to give Kim shit about this, so I'm gonna tell you guys she might not want me to tell this story, but I have to. So the way we met, it was such a cute meet. Cute. We were both taking a cycling class and I was trying to sign in to the class with like my struggle Spanish at the time, china explained something and it wasn't coming out right and she just so happened to be right behind me or nearby and she intervened and explained to'em and then afterwards, I'm like, oh my God, thank you so much. Where are you from? She's I'm from LA and we're chatting. I'm like, yeah, like your Spanish is great. Thank you for helping me. And she's oh no. My Spanish is so bad. Okay. That's what she said the first time we met. Come to find out. It's her first language. It's this bitch's first language. Like what Kim, cu. How. I love to tell that story, so I hope you appreciated that guys. So yeah, Kim is my ride or die. She's down to do anything and so I convinced her to come to Cusco with me and go on this multi-day hike. And keep in mind that this trek, because it is quite literally a trek before you go, they highly recommend that you acclimatize to the altitude. At least three days prior to departure. So we both arrived three days prior to departure and in Cusco, which I believe is like 12,000 and change elevated above sea level in Cusco. When Kim arrived, she felt, more of the effects of the altitude and thankfully, thank God she went to her. MD before and got a prescription for altitude sickness medication. That had not even crossed my mind. And that's a telltale sign that I was struggling with like everything going on because I am such a planner when it comes to trips like I, that I didn't even research that or look into that. So she thankfully bought enough for both of us, and so when she got there, she immediately started to take the medication because it takes, some time for it to actually go into effect and enter your system. I decided to decline. I'm like, girl, I'm good. I'm fine. Even on my flight, I sat next to this woman named Priscilla, her and I bonded on this flight, which I'm not really a talker on flights, but she was just incredible. She's from Brazil. She tells me her whole life story. She got married later in life, so there's hope for you girl, she's a stepmom. She's been living in Massachusetts. Since she was 18 and now she's in her fifties and she was on a girls trip with five other girls. They were all scattered around the plane and they were all doing this five day hike as well with a different tour company. But she was going to overlap with me and so we may even run into each other on the journey. So anyway, her and I are getting into it, love Priscilla, and she gives me the best advice because I had glossed over the literature, the 50 million pages that they sent me before I was supposed to go, and I didn't read that stuff. And so one of the big things that I had planned when I was sharing the itinerary with her I'm like, okay, so we arrived. On Wednesday. And so on Thursday we're gonna do Rainbow Mountain, and then Friday we're gonna go horseback riding, and then Saturday we leave for our hike and she was like whoa, girl. Back it all the way up. Then she advises me very wisely not to go to Rainbow Mountain on Thursday. So we were literally arriving Wednesday and then we're gonna go the very next day to Rainbow Mountain. And she's you can't do that. If you read any of the material they sent, like they all say don't do that, because the altitude at Rainbow Mountain is higher than the altitude, the highest peak, the, ascension point that we're going to. Our hike. You do it after?'cause like at that point your body is super acclimatized and so I was like, oh my gosh. I immediately called Kim who was boarding her flight and I was like, we gotta change the whole order of operation girl. Like we can't do Rainbow Mountain before we leave. So we decided to push it to Friday. Like we thought it was a smart idea to like still go before we went on our trek because we wouldn't have time on the back end of our trek to go to Rainbow Mountain. So we were like, we gotta see Rainbow Mountain. You're in Cusco. Like I wanna see the beautiful colored mountains. And so we decided to go on the Friday and we were leaving for our Trek on the following day, the Saturday morning. So that's what we did. We got to Cusco, we had like local little things to do the first day or two. And then on the Friday we got picked up at 4:00 AM. By surprise, that was my fault. I thought we had a 7:00 AM pickup, and so I just remember at three 50 something like my phone is buzzing, and I'm like, oh my God, who's calling me? It's the freaking tour company being like, Hey, we're downstairs, and I am dead asleep in my bed, and Kim is upstairs sleeping in her bed in our Airbnb. That was fun. We had to rush and get ready in five minutes, run downstairs. We're in this van and it was one of the most uncomfortable journeys up the fucking mountain. To get to Rainbow Mountain from Cusco. There's a point where you're going up these like winding very bendy roads and I've actually been in situations in the past you know, driving in Jamaica or like driving on another island or driving even in Greece Where the roads were super windy and bendy and scary'cause the cliffs are on the side and that's your death if there's one slipup. But this driver was reckless with it. Like he was whipping that thing up that mountain. And that is where my trouble began. I hadn't really slept well the night before. We're going, away from Cusco, higher ascension points or elevation and. The car, it just started to hit me all at once. Like I felt sick. I'm like, oh, this is altitude sickness. Like I'm not well. And so we get to Rainbow Mountain and I feel nauseous and I have a blinding headache and. I'm like, Kim, give me the fucking altitude medication right now. Please. Like I need it. I needed it yesterday. In fact, I should have been taking it when we first got to Cusco like you, because it takes two days to really set in. So I'm like, just give it to me now, like I'm dying. And so we get there, they give us like these walking sticks and they're like, okay. It's about, I actually don't know the length of time, but it was definitely over an hour, walk up to the Rainbow Mountain The issue is not the walk. Okay. The walk is easy. The issue is the altitude.

the-sober-butterfly_8_10-16-2025_075552: 25:26

So I am looking at our guide who's basically just pointing in the distance to various foggy places, that we should go and like vintage points and I'm like. I am dying already. Like we just walked maybe 10 feet and I, I can't breathe. That was the scary part. Like I could not breathe. And so he's like, if you are struggling or if you don't think you can make it, you can rent horses. And I was like, sign me up. How much? Where are they? I rented a horse, Kim. Trek the first bit.'Cause they have like horses all along the way, up to a point. And the closer you get to like. The part where the horses can't go, the cheaper the horses are. But from the first point, from where, basically where the bus dropped us off, I'm like, gimme the horse now. Kim walked and then she took a horse later on. But yeah, I took the horse. I have no shame in my game. Anyway, the horse drops me off and I still had to go maybe like 10 minutes up, but it was super steep and it took me what should have taken 10 minutes, maybe 40 every 10 steps. I had to like stop. And I was huffing and puffing and it's cold because it's winter in Peru and they're in the southern hemisphere, they have opposite seasons. And so it was like their winter, which is their dry season, which actually helped later on. But yeah, it was just so freaking cold and I couldn't breathe and I was not happy. And that really set the tone for the rest of, I wouldn't say the rest of the trip, but the beginning of my trek, once again, I'm telling you, it was the next day. I was already feeling pretty defeated.

the-sober-butterfly_2_01-08-2025_164227: 27:09

And now a quick word from our partners.

the-sober-butterfly_25_12-24-2024_142305: 27:15

Okay, butterflies, let me let you in on a little secret. Self care is so much more than just bubble baths, it's about finding what makes you feel your very best, inside and out. And that's why I've been obsessed with ClassPass for years. Whether I'm crushing a Pilates class, getting a fresh blowout, or treating myself to a relaxing facial, ClassPass lets me explore all kinds of fitness and wellness options. With just one membership, I can book workouts, beauty treatments, and so much more all in one app. I've been a member since 2016, and I've booked over 500 reservations. ClassPass makes it easy and fun to prioritize my health and happiness all the while staying on budget. And because I want you to feel just as amazing as I do, I've got an exclusive offer for my listeners. Sign up with my special link and you'll get a free trial And 20 bonus credits to use toward any classes or services you want to try. So what are you waiting for? Take that first step toward feeling your best. Head to ClassPass to get started today.

the-sober-butterfly_9_10-16-2025_191253: 28:33

Okay, I am back. You may not have even known I was gone. The beauty of editing but yeah, I went to work. I had a whole workday 12 hours have gone by guys where were we? I think I was telling you about the Salkantay and Yeah, it was so hard the day that we literally started the trek. I start my period. Let me back up. Like when we went to our briefing, they gave us a duffle and so we were allowed to. Stash, everything in this duffle bag and that duffle bag would be then carried by a horse. We had a horseman accompany us, and then we were responsible for our day packs, like our hiking backpacks. I overpacked chronic over Packer hair, and I, the first day was dying simply because my backpack was so heavy and the first day was about. I think a five hour hike. I was still feeling sick from the day before Rainbow Mountain, that fiasco. I couldn't even enjoy Rainbow Mountain. I don't know if I finished that part of the story, Rainbow Mountain's cool. It's beautiful, but like I was so over it. By the time I got to the top of Rainbow Mountain, I was dying. Okay. Dying and like, yes, it was pretty, I took a couple pictures, but I was cold. I couldn't find Kim. My phone wasn't working we somehow spotted each other on the top of the mountain and. Transverse down without the guide. The guide told us to meet him at a specific time. He kept repeating this time over and over again, like, meet here at this point, at this time. And we were at that point, at that time and he was nowhere to be found. So we decided to go down Rainbow Mountain by ourselves. And I felt a bit better, but The rest of the day. And then going into the first day of the actual trek, I felt like shit. I had cramps, I'm bleeding. I'm like worried because even though we paid for the premium the first night, did not have a personal bathroom. Maybe my privilege is showing here, but I was like, whoa, there's no personal bathroom we slept in like this igloo thing that was freezing cold. I was beat up by the time we arrived to our accommodation that night. I was so tired. I had a massive headache. The altitude medication had not kicked in and my head was spinning oh, and as an added detail that is crucial. Here I was backed up like all the way, backed up to day one of me arriving in Cusco, like I had not used the bathroom. Number two over here. In three days. So that was a major concern of mine. And the food, by the way, for this experience was phenomenal. Like a one top tier, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, like they gave us everything every day, and that was great. However, I was so stuffed from breakfast that day before we started our hike. To when we arrived lunch and now dinner. I'm sitting at dinner, my head is spinning and our guide, his name was Carlos, was amazing. Like did a great job. And especially hearing the horror stories of other truckers along the way with different companies and different tiers, we realized, oh, okay, we are in the premium group, but I'll get to that later. Anyway, Carlos was our guide and every day he would brief us at dinner. It was like a whole thing, like a production almost. We had our horseman that was carrying our luggage from place to place. And then we had two chefs that were actually married, a husband and wife duo. And every meal was amazing. But like at dinner on the first night, I was so beat up, like I mentioned and over it already, and thinking this is gonna be hell. And then I have Carlos telling the group that tomorrow would be. One of the, if not the hardest day, and we would be hiking for 12 hours and the first half of it was completely uphill into the Snowcap mountains, which was basically the highest altitude peak that we would reach. Our journey. So as he's telling the group this, and the group was phenomenal, I'll get into the group later, but as he's telling the group that, you know, tomorrow's gonna be ridiculously hard, my head is pounding. The room is spinning, like, I can't think straight, and he's telling us this information and I'm not processing it well. I'm like, okay, what are our options here, Carlos? Like, are you gonna helicopter me back to Cusco? Like, no. I wasn't like ready to quit, but I was like, hi, key, ready to quit and like, that's my thing. This is the recurring theme as you probably picked up with the Pilates story. I don't like to quit. So even though I was dying, I was like, I'm going to drag myself through this experience. So he is like, well, if you don't think you're up to handle the hike, we can take you to the base camp or close to it, not fully by horseback and then from there you can hike the remaining way, which was by the way, eight hours. Kim and I were like, horse please. And Kim, poor Kim also was synced up with me, so she was also on her period That first day was hell. And then the morning after I actually FaceTimed my mom because I was like, so. Defeated. I was in a war with my period and it was winning like not even a close match. And then. The real concern was like, I still hadn't used the bathroom. And so in our briefing, they actually gave us a roll of toilet paper because along the way there were very small like shops and like they had outhouses basically where you could use the bathroom, but you would have to pay the equivalent of like 50 cents USD. So. I was worried. I was like, I don't wanna go into the outhouse and have an accident or an explosion. And the outhouses are far and few in between. So I was talking to my mom like, I cannot use the bathroom. Like asking for her help. Like I bought every type of medication, antidiarrheal, like all the things, but not. Constipation medication. So I'm telling my mom like, I cannot use the bathroom and I'm afraid, and we have about an hour until we have to get on this horse. And my mom was like, oh, like. Do you try coffee? I'm like, yeah, I tried that. I've been drinking tons of coffee, like, nothing's working. And so I finally just confided in Carlos, our guide, and I was like, I can't use the bathroom. Do you have any medication? And he's like, well, I don't have medication, but I do have a natural remedy that works. And I'm like, okay, what is it? And he's like, I'm gonna have the chefs prepare it for you. And it was. Orange juice. Warm orange juice, and coffee with milk. It wasn't as bad actually as I thought it was gonna be, but it was not something I would ever wanna try again. And I'm like, yeah, my stomach will curl. But is it gonna crow in time? Because if I don't catch this horse at nine o'clock, my ass has to walk up that mountain and that's not gonna happen. So I was In a panic, but it worked. It worked very well. A little too well, but I used the bathroom just in the nick of time before I had to saddle up. And then we started our trek up the mountain, by the way. Oh my God. There was a baby, there was a whole ass baby on this trek like a 1-year-old. Like she, ugh. She was so cute. Like I actually had serious PS of baby fever, being near her because I saw her every day. But yeah, this couple, I think they were from Canada, but the wife was originally from somewhere else, I don't remember, but she was black and her husband was white, and they had this adorable 1-year-old daughter Named Mia and I was obsessed with her. But the first night I saw her at the dinner table, I saw the baby. Like I knew the baby was real. I'm not tripping over here, the altitude does make things feel very fuzzy at times. But I was like, oh, that baby's so cute. And she kept staring at me and I kept staring at her and we kept making eye contact. I was having this whole conversation with this 1-year-old girl with my eyes and like hands and gestures and stuff and like whatever, we were locked in, and I assumed, even though I saw, this is embarrassing, even though I saw the couple holding the baby, I thought it was like one of the locals, like, I thought it was like, you know, this little girl, she's biracial. As mentioned, her mom's black, her dad's white. I literally thought it was like one of the local's baby girl. And so as I'm getting on the horse, the next day I see the couple with their baby with Mia, and I'm like, oh my God, like this baby is so cute. Basically like, where did she come from? I didn't actually say that. Thank God. Like my Aries impulsivity did not kick in. And I wasn't like, oh, whose baby is that? But I realized that it was their baby. Pretty quickly. And I was just like, wow, you brought your daughter here

the-sober-butterfly_11_10-16-2025_192738: 37:26

I need to emphasize just the absurdity of this 1-year-old, even though I was in love with her, she shouldn't have been there. And in fact, she is the youngest baby person. In fact, maybe I should call Guinness because according to Carlos, who's done hundreds of treks, he's never seen a baby. So to set the scene, we're saddling up on our horses. Everyone's on their own horse. Mom, dad, you can't bring Mia. You can't hold the baby and hold on for day life as you go up this slippery mountain in the snow with your baby. So they had to give their daughter to their guide and he had to walk. They had this like, harness that went on The guide's back and it was like a carrier. So Mia was in there and fastened, and it had like this, you know, top coat part. That had a covering and of course she was bundled up, but literally they had to give their daughter away because the horse path is not the same as the walking path. So we. Said goodbye to Mia. Like, we didn't see her until they were reunited at the top of the mountain. So anyway, we get to the top of the mountain. The horseback journey was not a pleasant one. I wanna be clear, it was very uncomfortable. It was very bumpy. There were moments where I was like, afraid for my life is this horse gonna fall off the side of this mountain, like the horses? On one. Okay. So I was very happy to get off my horse and then we had to walk maybe like 10 minutes to get to the very top of the mountain. And it's just snowing. It's so foggy, if your hand was like stretched out in front of you a few feet, you could not see it. So Kim and I get to the top of the mountain. And of course we've arrived before the rest of our group because we were on the horse even though they left an hour before us. So we're looking at each other like, oh my God. He said to wait here, but like, how long is it gonna be? Because we are shivering. Kim turned to me. There's a picture I'll put it actually on the screen if you're watching this on YouTube so you can see, but there is a picture that Kim took of me, and this is at the top like everything on me is frozen. My lashes are frozen, like my hair is frozen. and she's like, smile. And you guys, I love a good photo op. I'm ready to pull it together in a. Flash. Literally snap. I'm ready. But I could not even fake it. I could not pull it together. I looked like I was in agony. I looked how I felt and I was like, Kim I can't, like, please. We have to get out of here. We cannot stay up here a second longer. So we're like at it, we're gonna like walk down this mountain. There's tons of people around, but just from different groups. And so we just see people walking. We're like, we're gonna follow these people'cause we can barely see and I can't think straight. It's so fucking cold. So we just continue on our track. We're walking and walking. We don't really know where we're walking to because as mentioned, we left our remaining group with our guy Carlos. So we don't really know where we're going. We're just like, we can't stand still. Like we will turn into an icicle. So we're walking for like an hour and then we're walking for like another hour, and then. All of a sudden, like our chef duo, the husband and wife run up to us like out of nowhere. They were so cute. Like they literally came up to us and they're like, your tea,

the-sober-butterfly_12_10-16-2025_193226: 40:46

And they had the coca tea, and I'm gonna be honest with you guys. I drank that fucking tea. I drank it. Yeah. I still think I'm sober like I used to, you know, do the other, Coca and I can tell you with certainty. They're vastly different things. Okay? They're vastly different in our briefing, our safety briefing, he did mention like this T is great for altitude sickness, but please be aware that if you get drug tested, it will come up positive for, you know, the other coca. I knew that going into it. In fact, I had a conversation with Sam Bail from Third Place Bar, and she's done this journey before, and so before I left, she was giving me tips and advice and she was like, the cocoa tea has, you know that in it, it's the natural leaf that they boil, but you don't. Feel high. You don't feel high at all. It's such a small concentration and it's the natural form and it helps with altitude sickness, and I was very sick at that time, so yeah, I drank the fucking tea. Sue me. I don't know if it even worked. But it was warm and I was cold and yeah, I did it and I'd do it again. So they, run up with the tea and we're like, oh, like where are we going? Like how long? And they're like, not much longer, but that doesn't really tell us anything. And then they just disappear into the fog because they were super fast. They were literally running. Through the mountain and we are struggling to walk. We keep walking, and then finally we get to the lunch spot. There were different huts set up for different groups, and so we had to find our group because we were super early and that was a struggle in itself. But when the group arrived, finally like an hour and change later, we had a great lunch and then Carlos told us that the rest of the journey would be about. Another four hours to get to our camp to sleep that night. Okay, the group, I gotta talk about the group really quickly. So in the premium group, we have Kim, you know Kim obviously me, you have a middle age Australian couple. You have a couple that's probably like late twenties from Brazil. You have a family of four from Denmark Mom, dad, early twenties daughter and the late teen son so that was the dynamic. There were so many moments that we shared together struggle moments like trauma bonding, that you really do form. A true bond with these people. And so I would like to think that I would see them again one day and we're definitely still LinkedIn on social. They was such a fun group and I'm really glad that everyone vibed, which was nice. And just to have people from all parts of the world was also very cool. Anyway, we had to walk another four hours to get to our base camp that night. It was a beautiful base camp. We did have our own private bathroom. I was a happy girl. I got to finally take a shower. Yeah, I, yeah. Imagine I hadn't showered since I left SCO so yeah, I was very happy to shower. I was regular at that point. okay. Day one, day two, disgusting. Day three things started to look up. We were told that it would no longer be freezing cold because now we were descending and going towards the Amazon jungle. We went from wearing puffy jacket woolly hats and, you know. Fleece gloves to, oh Justin layers because it's gonna get warm. That day was like only a five hour hike in the morning, and it was mostly Inca flat is what Carlos referred to it, which was like little ups and downs. And at that point, day three, I did start to feel the medication kick in the altitude thickness medication, which was such a blessing now, we're going through different terrains and it's looking more jungley and it's warmer and I'm just in good spirits and I can breathe and I don't have a headache anymore. And so once we hiked those five hours, we arrived to this coffee plantation and did a coffee experience where we got to ground the coffee beans and learn about how they're grown and the different flora local to the area. And then we got to try some chocolate and then we checked into another beautiful jungle dome. The accommodations were phenomenal. We had a beautiful dinner and then we went to the hot springs, which was really nice, about an hour away in a van. So we got to like get in a car. It was very nice. And then we got to hang out in the hot springs and then afterwards we spent the evening kind of people watching at an outdoor restaurant that was attached to other restaurants like, imagine like an outdoor patio. This is Peru, so think rustic here. But very cute, set up. It was fascinating to be in that experience because everyone's drinking now and celebrating the fact that day three was more of a chill day for everyone. We made friends along the way, so running into other people at the hot springs and like sharing stories and that's when we really discovered, at the hot springs from this Italian couple, we had met from our Rainbow Mountain excursion actually. And another guy that we kept seeing, they were sharing their stories and. Saying things about their guides, like their guide was drunk, literally drunk and outta shape. And he would be huffing and puffing up the mountain and then gaslight them and be like, oh, you're so tired. You need to break, don't you? And they're like, what are you talking about? And this Italian couple actually, they were super hot. Like both of them were. Carved out a marble, okay? They were very fit and in shape. And here this man is telling'em who's drunk, by the way. Or hungover, I should say, that they need to rest because they're so tired moving along. We also learned just like so many people at that point had dropped or like were injured couldn't make it to day three. So we felt pretty good and smug about ourselves. We're like, okay, we're still here, we're still in this fight. So then, like I mentioned,, were people watching and all of these people are just binge drinking and Carlos is telling us that they are gonna get so drunk tonight. Then tomorrow, day four now is the hardest day. Because we're going up through the jungle and it's slippery and it was raining well, he said the second hardest day, like the second day. And the fourth day are both, he said maybe equally hard. This time there's no horse. So one woman, the Australian woman. She had like a bad knee and she was like, you know, I'm going to take a bus there because that was an option as opposed to trying to do this other really hard hike. And everyone else in our group. We were like, we can do it. And I was so proud of myself because I almost took the bus only because at that time I'm like, I just don't wanna get injured at this point. Can you imagine like tomorrow day five we get to go to Machu Picchu and I am injured. Like he's talking about how slippery it is and I'm already clumsy. I just don't wanna risk it. And I just would be so embarrassed to be like, I broke my, whatever. On the last day of my hike, like, no. So I almost opted out and then he was like, you know, you can definitely do it. And so when he said that it was the, I guess, nudge that I needed and I was like, okay, I'm gonna do it. But it was hard. Oh my God. It was hard. But as mentioned, I was starting to fill the medication and we did it. It was raining the majority of the time. When we leave for these hikes, it's always at the crack of dawn, so it's dark and you know, now there are mosquitoes and it was just, it was a lot. But my breathing had regulated, which was the biggest. Concern I had before, like not being able to breathe and you're just walking even though, yes, you're going up, was scary. But now I felt like I could breathe. I was still, you know, huffing and puffing, but I could breathe and I felt like I could actually control my breathing. So it was a great. Experience at last day because we did something really hard and that was like the end of the hike part. So even though it's five days day five, you're not hiking. And I don't even know if I had any more hike left in me guys after the 50 miles of hiking. Yeah, when we finished day four, we ended up taking a train to the nearest city to Machu Picchu called, Aguas Calientes. We had dinner, our final dinner in an actual restaurant. We had said goodbye to the horsemen and to the wife, husband, chef duo. And yeah, it was an emotional moment because it was our last night together and we were going to, the World Wonder, Machu Picchu, and that was such a big. Bucket list item for both Kim and I. When we met in Mexico and became friends, we always said we would do that together. And so it was just such a magical, full circle moment to be there with her and then make all of these great connections with people that we otherwise would never know in life. So that was such a beautiful experience. And I came back, even though I was exhausted, somewhat somehow, restored, so it wasn't a bad idea. But had I known. All that I know now, I don't know if I would do it, so I'm glad I actually didn't do enough research going into it because. Oh my God, that was insane. And I ran into Priscilla. I was looking for her the whole time. Like she had actually left the day before me, so she was always like a step ahead. But I think she did the four day and I did the five day. So either way, we crossed paths right before we got on the train to go to Aguas Calientes. I was so grateful to, God and the universe. For this opportunity to run into her again. And truly thank her for all of her help because I was like, you were right girl. I almost died on Rainbow Mountain and it almost ruined the rest of the trip for me. So thank you for telling us not to do that on our first day in Cusco. So that was basically my experience in Peru

the-sober-butterfly_14_10-16-2025_195414: 51:12

So that trip closed out the rest of my August. And now moving into September, I started to work again. Back at school. My Pilates training ended. Hallelujah. I was burnt out and it was the first time I felt like I could really exhale in a long time. And I felt like I could be more present. I think that's the key difference as well. Like I was so anxious thinking about all the things next day, had to do that, like I wasn't really showing up for other people or for myself. And going away on that trek really did give me a lot of clarity. And disconnect really. So September felt like a real reset moment for me, and I think the perspective just from all of the struggles I experienced this summer and also this year. I think it really felt like the lessons were unfolding and everything was becoming clear. I also went to Arizona with my cousin in September and we had so much fun, we went on a mini road trip from Phoenix to Sedona, in a Jeep of course, because you have to have the wind blowing through your hair jamming Spice Girls and whatever throwback tunes we had going, it was just such a fun experience. So we got to do that. Oh, we went to the Chris Brown concert as well. And I fell asleep in true sober girl fashion. I was like passed out, but not because I drank or did anything. Although it probably looked like it to the untrained eye, to onlookers. They were probably like, this girl is tapped out. I was just tired. I don't go out like that anymore. I'm not staying up late like that. And if I do, it's just because I'm doom scrolling or too caffeinated, but I'm not outside at. Ungodly concert hours. I like to have fun, but just with the time difference too, like Arizona's three hours behind New York and Chris Brown didn't actually hit the stage until like 9:00 PM their time. So it's already midnight when the show is starting. I was tired. Okay. The show, the parts that I saw, the show was great. He. Perform for like three hours straight, nonstop. There was no intermission from what I saw. I will have to confirm that with my cousin, but the, it was a good time. I was just exhausted. The concert was the same night that we flew into Phoenix, and by the way, Phoenix, I don't know the racial demographics of Phoenix is, but apparently there's not a lot of black people, which is very misleading from the movie. Waiting to exhale with Whitney Houston, like that movie I always knew was set in Phoenix and I just thought it was like, you know, black girls hanging on Phoenix. But no, apparently that's rare, but at the airport. We saw so many black people, a sea of black people, to the point where Uber drivers kept referencing, oh, we know you're not from here because you're black. Basically like black people and white people were telling us like they knew that. They're like, you're here for the concert. Right. The Chris Brown concert. And we're like, I hate that you're profiling us and I hate that you're right. But yes, we are here for the concert. So, that was my trip in September and now we're in October and I'm back, baby, I'm gonna wind down here'cause you know, I can go on and on. But I'll wind down here by just giving you a current snapshot of where I am at in this last season of the year. Whether it be Q3, Q4, undecided, but I'm gonna finish the year out on the high because I definitely started on the low, and it's only right to balance the scales over here. Shout out to my Libras as we're in Libra season. so I have a plan for how I'm going to actually close the year out strong because it's one thing to wish, and I think you should wish for whatever you want because why would you wish small wish big babe? But there has to be action, right? We have to back up our intentions with. Actionable steps. So I have a plan and I'm gonna share that plan because I don't gatekeep mental health tips over here. Okay. Not that I am the spokesperson for mental health. Good mental health. So today as I record this, it's a Thursday. And if you're listening in real time you're going to hear this on October 17th, which is a Friday, Starting on Saturday, October 18th, we have 75 days left in 2025. I'm gonna pause for a dramatic effect. Yeah. 75 days babe. 75 days to get your shit together. Okay? I'm not gonna wait for the new year to make more resolutions that are just going to fall by the wayside. I am starting now and I'm inviting you to join me, maybe not as extreme as me because as you know, I'm an extreme girly, but I am starting 75 hard. On Saturday, 75 days left in the year. No room for error because if you know anything about 75 hard A, it's hard. B, you complete it in 75 days, and if you breach or break any of the rules, there are five. You have to start over again. So it doesn't matter if you're on day 74, but you don't drink a gallon of water. That's one of the rules that day. Sorry, boo. You're back to day one. So I don't have any room to fuck up because there's only seven, five days in the year starting Saturday when I'm starting. So I have put together a plan to really execute this properly. I'm going to devote next week's episode to really get into the weeds around that because. I've tried it before and I didn't succeed, so I will be going in depth about what's gonna be different this time as well as, Sharing that journey with you guys next week in case you're interested. Even if you don't wanna do it or never think you can do it, or whatever the circumstances may be, you just want to hear my real time suffering out loud. I think doing an inventory of your health and your lifestyle choices is always a good idea. So yeah. Next week we'll chat some more around my 75 hard experience and where my health currently is, as well as me getting into my number one addiction, which is not alcohol. Surprisingly. Maybe not surprisingly because I don't drink alcohol, but my number one addiction, I would argue even maybe when I was drinking. Is sugar and we can get into how your body metabolizes alcohol into sugar. So the two are interconnected in a way. Later, we can talk about that next week.

the-sober-butterfly_15_10-16-2025_200806: 58:27

So that's the update, butterflies where I've been, what I've learned, and what's next. Thank you all for still being here and for being so patient with me, for always believing in me, even when I go. Dark. Even when I go silent, even when I ghost y'all. Next episodes of the Sober Butterfly Podcast will drop every Friday, so make sure you subscribe, leave a review, and share the show with someone who needs a little sober sparkle in their week. Also, follow me on Instagram at the@the.soberbutterfly for daily updates on my 75 hard journey. I said hard 75 because I'm just thinking about how hard it is, but it's called 75 hard. Anyway, we'll talk about it more next week. Remember, transformation isn't always pretty, but it's always possible. I love you guys so much. Let's make these next 75 days count. Bye.