Dating Without Alcohol: Attachment, Intimacy & Rewiring Your Drinking Patterns with Georgia Foster

What if you don’t actually need a drink to feel confident, sexy, or safe in love?

With Valentine’s Day approaching, this episode of The Sober Butterfly Podcast dives deep into the connection between alcohol, attachment styles, intimacy, and subconscious emotional patterns.

Host Nadine welcomes back world-renowned hypnotherapist Georgia Foster for a powerful Part 2 conversation about how drinking habits are often rooted in anxiety, the inner critic, and nervous system dysregulation — especially in dating and relationships.

If you’ve ever wondered:

• Why do I drink more when I’m dating?
• Why do I feel anxious without alcohol on a first date?
• Why do I attract the same type of partner?
• Can I drink less without quitting entirely?
• How do I build confidence without liquid courage?

This episode is for you.

Georgia shares how hypnotherapy works to reprogram the subconscious mind, calm anxiety triggers, and shift emotional habits around alcohol. Together, Nadine and Georgia explore:

• The psychology of drinking in relationships
• Anxious attachment and alcohol use
• The role of the inner critic in dating
• Sober intimacy and overcoming performance anxiety
• How to feel confident without alcohol
• Rewiring subconscious drinking patterns
• Choosing partners based on intuition instead of familiarity
• Nervous system regulation and manifestation
• Healing shame around past drinking behaviors

Georgia also leads listeners through a powerful guided visualization designed to calm the nervous system, strengthen intuition, and help you attract relationships that are aligned with your self-worth.

Whether you’re sober, sober-curious, moderating, dating, partnered, or opting out of Valentine’s Day entirely — this episode will help you examine your relationship with alcohol and how it impacts your romantic life.

About Georgia Foster

Georgia Foster is a clinical hypnotherapist with over 30 years of experience helping high-functioning adults transform their relationship with alcohol. She specializes in moderation, subconscious behavior change, and emotional habit rewiring. Her programs focus on reducing shame, quieting the inner critic, and creating intelligent, balanced change.

Learn more at:
 https://georgiafoster.com

Connect with Nadine on Instagram @the.soberbutterfly https://www.instagram.com/the.soberbutterfly/?hl=en

Transcript

the-sober-butterfly_6_02-13-2026_050045 0:00

Hello, and welcome back to the Sober Butterfly Podcast. I am Nadine, your host, and with Valentine's Day upon us, I have some complicated feelings. On one hand. I, I love, love. I am a romantic at heart and I wanna celebrate love and I love that people have, Valentine's. On the other hand, I kind of hate it. I hate the pressure of it all. The timeline, the expectations, it's still cold outside. Shockingly, I don't have a Valentine or a Valentine's Day date, but what I do have going on in my life is I'm Jetsetting baby. I'm out of here. I'm going to Dubai with some girlfriends. And I'm not mad at that. I'm actually like that. That just represents the perfect Valentine's Day for me. Let me get out of here. So with Valentine's Day, coming up this season can bring up a lot of things for people, whether that be love, loneliness, attachment, anxiety, and also for a lot of people alcohol. Because if we're honest here, so many dates and dinners and romantic moments are truly built around drinking. And even though I'm sober, I still remember clearly very vividly how much I overly relied on alcohol, not just to be social, but also to feel calm. To feel sexy, to feel seen, chosen. And I used to drink when my anxiety kicked in. I used to drink when I heard that inner critic so loud telling me that he's never gonna like you because of X, Y, Z. And even today in sobriety, even though I'm not reaching for that drink to subdue that inner critic who's telling me that I'm not worthy or valuable enough to deserve love. I still have a lot of work to do as a single sober gal. And while sobriety can be such a transformative pathway and honestly save my life, I also believe there's space for a bigger conversation for people who may be questioning. Still in that questioning phase of like, how is alcohol showing up for me or what role is it playing in my life, in my relationships, and is it helping me or managing me? So that's why today's episode is such a gift and a timely gift at that. We have Georgia Foster on the show, and she's back, she's actually a vet of the show and joined us back in 23 to talk about. The inner critic, as it relates to addiction and recovery. And this time we're actually going a little bit deeper into the connection between alcohol, intimacy, attachment, and subconscious patterns. As a world renowned hypnotherapist, Georgia is helping us rewire some of those emotional habits and understanding our triggers and why so many of us drink to feel more confident in love. We also talk about sober connection, sober intimacy, and how to strengthen your intuition because it's so much stronger than your dating history. Make sure you listen to this full episode right into the end because Georgia is leading us out with a guided visualization, a guided meditation, hypnosis, if you will. That left me feeling fully charged, like I have no Valentine's Day blues going into this year because everything is coming. I don't have a Valentine yet. Catch me in 27. Anyway, this is your Valentine's Day episode. If you are trying to heal old patterns, drink less without any shame or quit altogether to fully call in love that actually feels safe. Let's get into it.

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 3:47

Today we are joined with a very special guest. We have Georgia Foster here. Georgia is a vet of the show. She's actually been on the sober butterfly many moons ago, so we are so excited to have her back on the show. Georgia, welcome. How are you today?

georgia_2_02-12-2026_101838 4:04

Good. I like that word, vet. That's, that's a great way to say it. Thank you very much.

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 4:08

Yes, I appreciate you coming back to share a little bit more insight and so I would love to learn from you especially with Valentine's Day approaching. This episode is not just about love and romance, but we're also talking about attachment, alcohol, intimacy, and like some of the subconscious patterns that drive all of that. I, as someone who doesn't drink, felt that I was on the fringes of society in terms of like how I was slipping deeply into my alcohol addiction. However, I do believe that there is space in the conversation to talk about people who are not that extreme as I was, who may be questioning. The role that alcohol maybe shows up in their life and the value, if any, that it's providing. But for folks who may be more interested in learning how to actually moderate, I would love to learn from your expertise, Georgia, because I know that you, from coming on the show have shared a little bit about how your drinking. weren't, necessarily the healthiest and how you were able to shift that relationship into more of a healthy one. So yeah. Can you talk to us a little bit about your experience drinking and then the experience that you do with your clients in terms of, helping them find that healthy balance when it comes to drinking and how hypnotherapy may play a role in that as well.

georgia_2_02-12-2026_101838 5:30

Yeah. Well I think the first thing is that I, if you're worried about your drinking, and I appreciate that you quit'cause people. I'm very much into, if you wanna be sober, that's fine. It's such a personal journey and it's a very private journey. There's two ways of looking at it for me. I didn't wanna quit. Okay. That was my journey. And being an Australian and, and my clients, I had a clinic in London for 23 years and I became known as the drink less kind of therapist. But for me is that, that there are a lot of people now, and I was having discussion with some the other day, just because you quit drinking doesn't mean you have a drinking problem. Right? It could be, it could be that you decide it's just not for you, your energy, your weight you feel you can't keep on top of your game because you feel it, it does affect you. But there's other school of thought that people say, look, you know, I do, I do really genuinely. Wanna drink, but I wanna drink in a different way. And I think that's kind of where I step in with my work because. I'm not saying that, you know, every now and again, you don't have a party moment, but we are talking about the regular style of drinking here, who you are as a drinker when you generally drink, whether it's at home or you meet your friends or whatever it is. And if you are worried about that, if you think that it is creeping up, if you think that your maybe it's social anxiety or fear of intimacy or you feel that. That alcohol creates a better you, then that is when I would suggest that it is time to really look and think what do I wanna do with this? Do I want it to manage my life or do I wanna manage it? And that's really that focal point of deciding if I do wanna drink, I changing my mindset and my relationship with it is key. But I think a lot of people. And it's, it's a very common thought is, well, if I can't do it consciously, if I can't achieve it, you know, then I've gotta quit. And I'm saying that's fine. But people don't understand that drinking is part habit. But it's also emotional too. And so if you are using alcohol as a way to feel better, to feel more sexy, or to feel more funny and more witty, or to shut out your day because it's been so stressful. Your mind actually thinks it's doing a really good job. It thinks that by drinking you've got some space, some timeouts to reprieve yourself and to, to kind of be somewhere else. And that's when I think is important to understand who you are before you drink is really important because when you honor that person, then you can then drink in a healthier way, not to escape you.

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 8:21

Right. That's so key. I mean, the escapism is very real. And I think some things that you mentioned that were interesting is even around this idea of like someone who decides consciously that they want to quit drinking, right? Like if that's the motivation, that's the goal. I would imagine that the subconscious still plays a significant role in that because that's where I believe like white knuckling comes into play. Like you can abstain from drinking, but like you're not happy abstaining if you haven't rewired some of the Subconscious motivations or like reasons behind your desire to quit. So I think people need to have that discernment between, you know, a what is the end goal, what's the actual motivation? And then to your point, like why are you drinking? Is it a form of escapism? Is it to feel more sexy, social, intimate? Because if you are just doing it for the sake of like, yes, I, I can check a box and say that I'm not drinking or I'm drinking less. But your subconscious is not roped into that, then I think that can be a bit of a disconnect, I would imagine.

georgia_2_02-12-2026_101838 9:24

A really good point to make. So how I work with the power of hypnosis is if your desire is you wanna quit rather than drink less is, it's the same school of thought is you need to educate the deepest part of your mind where all of your emotional habits are stored. And hypnosis is a very powerful proven science. Technique that when you're in that brainwave of activity, you can educate the deeper part of your mind that actually you can cope really well without drinking. You just don't need to touch it again. Right? And, and, and you can do that same with alcohol. When you say, well, I don't wanna have that same relationship with, I wanna change. It is, you need to educate the emotional part of your brain that you want to change it. And when you do that, it's like. You are educating the part of the mind that creates the memories, so you're creating them. Now in the present to create a new library that shows you how to cope well without drinking at all, and probably this is the best stage to talk about the inner critic, that negative part of the brain, you know, that keeps firing off, saying, you are boring. You know, you can't relax. If you don't have a few drinks to become intimate you know, the inner critic is the part that triggers the physical anxiety and that sets self-doubt. And so you really need to train that negative part to tune itself down so that your brain and body have time to produce those lovely endorphins, those chemicals that make you feel. Safe and, and and not vulnerable. And then you're in a beautiful sweet spot where your mind says, oh, actually I don't need to drink to calm myself down. I don't need to drink to feel more sexy. I don't need to drink to be more fun. And it doesn't mean that you don't drink. It's the fact that if you choose to to drink less, it's just your mind isn't thinking you have to have this alcohol before you action this. So That's really the way around it is that, that your mind and body need to become familiar with feeling calm through your day and coping really well without thinking that the end result is a drink.

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 11:40

Yes, that

georgia_2_02-12-2026_101838 11:40

That's the solution.

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 11:42

I'm wondering from you, can you help us understand a little bit about what happens the actual subconscious around maybe triggers even triggers when it comes to or infatuation in relationships? Because I often find that. Attachment style theory is, you know, something I've read up on and like a lot of my, my attachment style FYI is like anxious so that when the anxiety creeps up, I would see it resemble in my drinking patterns like I would drink when I felt anxious. And that comes into like the social lubricant that alcohol played for me. So is there an overlap between the two? And then can you just help us understand a little bit around how we can help quell or subdue through hypnosis some of those triggers in our subconscious brain?

georgia_2_02-12-2026_101838 12:26

Yeah, I mean that is a habit in itself, so that is a really good example of it where your mind genuinely has learnt that this is how you. Extinguish that anxiety. And it could be boredom is another big one, right?

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 12:43

Yeah.

georgia_2_02-12-2026_101838 12:43

Drinking to become a form of entertainment. But anxiety is, we'll just use it for that example so your mind has. Trained itself that that you can't to, I mean, obviously you don't drink now, but in order to extinguish that emotion that alcohol needs to be present, but in actual fact that's not true at all, alcohol doesn't need to be present. You can train your mind to extinguish that emotion because you can't have anxiety and calm at the same time in the brain and body. They just, they don't, they can't be present at the same time. When you're anxious, you're in the amygdala part of the brain, which it's two almond shaped parts of the back of the ear,

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 13:18

Mm-hmm.

georgia_2_02-12-2026_101838 13:19

when you're in that negative state. But when you are in that beautiful, calm space, you're in the prefrontal cortex, which is this part of the brain here, and the neuroscientists have studied the brain. So for example, talking about anxiety. Bang, Amy fires off stress chemicals through the body. Get me that wine. Get me that gin and tonic. Get me that tequila. Whatever it is, is that. Then what you need to do is train the mind that actually you can extinguish that by bringing in the opposite the good feelings. The safety, the calm, bringing in great examples would be like moments where you felt a lot of love or moments or memories that really trigger that sense of safety. And then what happens is the experience of that moment is your mind and body genuinely think. We feel this now. Oh, and hypnosis helps you practice that. It helps that deep part of the brain know that it's safe to be in this place, and then it just reacts like that. It says, well, I don't need to drink to feel calm. I can tune out, but I can switch it off. Of course, it does take practice, like everything, but hypnosis is. And I'm not anti talking therapy at all. But you know, therapist might say, oh, well, you know, why are you feeling anxious? You know what, what went on with this that are what happened this time of the date or whatever. It doesn't matter. Your history ons of life, your mind does know how to change and I'm very much a firm believer, have been for a very long time that. The brain is adaptable and pliable to change if you give it the right messages so that particular connection between anxiety and going on a date. Whatever it is. Then it's like, of course there's the anticipation and that excitement and there is that nervousness, but it doesn't control you. It's, oh, it's a little bit part of it. It's going into new experience, all new experiences a bit, you know, make you feel a bit vulnerable. But you know what my wisdom within me has, has allowed me to take me here. I've got a trust in this experience. All good things happen when you have a bit of courage, right?

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 15:30

Right.

georgia_2_02-12-2026_101838 15:32

Starting to dialogue and starting to reconnect with, well, you don't get anywhere in life if you just stay in the same lane. So, you know, it's really about training your mind in hypnosis to show the outcome. So a really quick way to do this, if anybody is going on a date on, on Saturday

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 15:51

Yes.

georgia_2_02-12-2026_101838 15:52

and feeling like they're being a bit anxious, they wanna have that little sneaky drink to calm their nerves. They don't want to. They wanna walk in sober, or they're the thoughts that they feel are their strongest thoughts and feelings. Remember, that's a habit. So the most beautiful way to do that is just to take five minutes, close your eyes, and imagine going to the date, really calm. Have some beautiful mantras because saying those words vibrate an energy and lift your vibration, such as it's safe for me to feel calm. Tomorrow. It is safe for me to feel funny and witty without a drink in my hand. It is safe and start to really emphasize what that's gonna feel like. Now, this technique on its own has made the most. Successful sports people, even more successful. It's a very, very secret technique that a lot of coaches do with the high level training and it all to do with eyes closed and imagining then past the event coming home from the date or being out with somebody you really like and you don't wanna make fool of yourself by drinking too much and you, you really just don't wanna drink. You wanna be fully present. Imagine. After the dinner or going out for a drink, whatever it is, feeling safe, having giggled, have been feeling fun and, and being present. And your mind will, if you practice it a few times through your day, it will then know, oh, this is how we feel. We can do this. I've got the references, and that's what hypnosis does. With your eyes closed, you naturally go into an altered state and you could put some lovely music on. A great example is if you've got some lovely I call it angelic music. Put it on or some Mozart, whatever it is, and just take some quiet time and imagine the event and pass the event and feeling good about you being sober

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 18:04

Right,

georgia_2_02-12-2026_101838 18:05

just having a couple of drinks and feeling good about yourself. That in itself. Is extraordinary because your mind will, and you can add to that. You can start to vibrate and say the words and have a lovely little mantra. It is safe to enjoy my evening tonight. It's safe for me to feel good about myself and just say those little mantras through the day or silently if you want to write them down with pen and paper, and your mind will start to enact upon that because it knows it's safe to do that.

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 18:40

That is beautiful and powerful. It reminds me of visualization and more so like an embodiment shift, like the idea of I. Trying to access those obviously thoughts, but also like what does that feel like in your body? Because I've been a little bit about like quantum physics, for example,

georgia_2_02-12-2026_101838 19:03

Hmm.

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 19:03

in order to manifest. What is reality, for example, realities your, your perception based off of how your nervous system is responding to outside stimuli. And so oftentimes. people can have the same day and then report vastly different experiences based off of how their nervous system perceives set events. So it, it's reminding me of like, do we access or how do we quantum leap into a different version of ourselves or a different timeline without it getting too like metaphysical over here. But this idea of like a big part of that is visualization and they say that's one of the most powerful tools. So is there an overlap or is visualization. Almost sounding like a meditative state or being in that meditative state. Essentially what hypno, hypno why can I say this word right now? Hypnosis is, is it this idea of like you are, connecting all of those things to get to that meditative state? Or is there more to it?

georgia_2_02-12-2026_101838 20:02

Well, meditation is hypnosis. It's the same brain activity, same thing. I mean, some people are very light, like it comes, like you, you've got your Wake state here. Then you've got your alpha state and then Setta. And then Delta. Delta is a sleep state. So that alpha, that little wave in between is where we're talking about between being awake and asleep. So some people are very alert some people. We'll be a little bit deeper and some people fall asleep, like with, if you listen to one of the recordings that I have. But if you are doing it on your own it is all a form of hypnosis. I guess the, the biggest thing about meditation, the word versus hypnosis is meditation's kind of expected that you are doing it on your own. Whereas hypnosis, you're being guided, but they're both meditation. But what, but what you're saying is, you know, going to the next stage of the conversation is the more your mind becomes familiar being in this lovely, calm, peaceful state where you can see outcomes before they happen. It's manifestation. Absolutely. It really is.

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-11-2026_181838 21:03

powerful. That is so powerful.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 21:06

This has been very insightful so far. I would love to chat a little bit around like subconscious programming and how we may choose partners with this being a Valentine's Day special episode. I'm wondering what role familiarity may play in how we choose partners or even like why we choose to drink.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 21:27

Well, the good news is that the same rule applies to finding love is we, we track what we're familiar with, actually have a program called Cracking the Love Code. So a good example when you think, why am I attracting the same sort of person

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 21:43

Yes.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 21:43

ask, I ask this person to be this time to Aesthetically look different, but energetically what you are familiar with, you attract. So a great way. The same thing I talked about before, just spending five minutes imagining attracting somebody who is the opposite to what you really want. And you know, it's a really, it's a really interesting area to talk about the power of love or really meeting somebody. So a lot of people. We'll consciously have this beautiful desire to meet somebody and say you know, I'm gonna put it out to the universe, whatever. But if you haven't changed your mindset in that you are not worthy of love, that you are not worthy of somebody who's good for your soul. And I, I often say, you know, when I see clients privately, I always. Always when I do a hypnosis track for them and when we do the hypnosis, always say, you know, the important thing is you attract somebody who's good for your soul, who's good for your self-worth. And I think a lot of people are under the assumption that maybe gotta track somebody because they, like a client of mine said, oh, Giorgio, I really wanna. I really wanna find a guy who's in the corporate world.'cause I'm in the corporate world. My sister's married to a plumber. We've already got a plumber in the family. We don't want a plumber in the family. I'm like, but I don't think it works that way. I think it's the energy finding the right person for you. No, no. We wouldn't have enough common. And she's now married to a plumber. Right. So the moral of the story is that it's really who's right for your soul. And then I think sometimes when people go out there and they have in their mind that this is gonna be who it's gonna be is. They've got this image or this decision, and whether it's finances, whether it's whatever, they have to be this certain person and that certain person could be not right for them. So you've gotta think about connecting on a soul level by asking the universe genuinely that I will know. Show me the signs, That's the problem energetically with internet dating is you can't energetically feel what's going on.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 23:49

Right, exactly.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 23:51

You know, and it's the energy that, you know, the old fashioned school dancers aren't there anymore. So there's, I understand there's no, there's no other way to do it. But I think when it comes to finding a, a good, healthy soul is working on your self-esteem first is the most important thing.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 24:08

Absolutely.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 24:08

Changing that dynamic, that being with somebody who is present, who doesn't put you third, I know when people, you know, wanna meet somebody and, and wanna start the new life with somebody, but there are always red flags and sometimes we ignore those red flags. We just. We shunt our intuition. So my methods are we've got to train your intuition to be stronger than your history. And then that means that your intuition can help you break the cycle, have that I call it in the program the emotional antenna. Like

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 24:48

Right.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 24:48

it there like a radar, right? That you could smell a rat. Right.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 24:56

Yeah, I mean, like you're, you're speaking to my soul right now because, so I'm in a predicament. I'll just use myself as an example, and I think this is relatable for many women. Like I. believed that once I quit drinking, that my romantic life would change drastically for the better. Because when I was drinking, of course, my antenna was not as strong. And so I didn't have as much like discernment to be able to like see past, you know. If I even like the guy, it was all about like duly like me, pick me energy and you know, not drinking, removing alcohol, I think did help in some aspects like I have. Better judgment in terms

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 25:36

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 25:37

just who to give a chance to. But I do find that I'm still this cycle where I'm attracting avoidant types of men as I did in the past. I don't know, like even thinking, because I do believe in visual visualization and I do practice visualization, but I, I don't know how I can bring that into the fold when it comes to trying to. Attract a future partner and ask the universe for that because maybe I'm, I'm too strict with my qualifications and like, as you mentioned with your former client, like I do have a list of things that I'm looking for, but like, I guess my question to you Georgia, is like, how do I energetically. Find someone that can speak to my soul and like, how can I use the power of hypnosis? Whether that be through working with, your program or working with meditation to like try to embody and call in that manifestation that comes to love.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 26:38

Yeah. And I think it's, and it's, you know, it's such an important, such an important thing to think about because when you have those tools in there, the universe will open that door to the right person. But you know. My suggestion would be to do exactly that, just to practice and rehearse drawing the person into your life who is good for you. Not aesthetically what they look like, but the feelings that they give you. Like, oh my God, this, this is the person. I can feel it because I do know that, look, you know, I had a look, you know, mom at the school Gates conversations are, you know what, I married my husband'cause I was 32 and I thought it was time to do it. Very unhappy marriage.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 27:22

I'm trying so hard not to

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 27:23

Exactly, exactly.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 27:24

that's where I'm at. Yeah. Yeah.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 27:25

But that's what I'm saying. And she's like, oh, he's all right. You know, but, you know, whatever. If I, if I, if I'd kind of waited a bit longer maybe kinda thing. And I think that the point is that there's no point. I mean, I did meet my partner, my life partner until I was 43, but.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 27:42

Wow, that's, that gives me so much hope. Just so you know, like that's very helpful

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 27:45

Yeah. And he's an amazing soul. But there was a lot I had to change to myself. I attracted men who were never available either, really found out there would be somebody else, which is why they were never really available or whatever. And, and the thing is that I just, I actually just quit men for a bit. That's, that's another story in itself actually. But but,

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 28:06

i've been settled it for over a year, so I've Quit me, I guess too, but it feels circumstantial, so I dunno.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 28:11

Yeah. So if you could just quit, just put it out of the equation, right. And just get on with your life. But I really wanted to be a mom. So my parents bought me some, some Danish sperm and I was gonna be a single mom. That was my decision.'cause I really, I wanted to meet somebody to, I could have, have a child.'cause I just figured that they had to be, they had to be in the mix. But I remember this, I went to see this sidekick once and she said to me, you are going to meet somebody and you're gonna have three children. And I was 41 at the time. I said, that is not gonna happen. I'm not gonna have three children.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 28:47

Give me my money

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 28:48

And she said to me, no. She said, I, I know you are going to meet somebody. And she said, but you're not gonna have a baby. You are not gonna have children for another five years. But, but I'll be 45. I met my partner Ian when I was 43, and at the age of 46, I gave birth to triplet boys, right?

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 29:07

I was about to make a joke and say it was triplets. Whoa.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 29:11

Uhhuh, and I, and I was so annoyed because I screwed up her business card as I left. I thought that woman's just crazy. And she said to me at the time, I'm never wrong when it comes to children and love anyway. But my point is I just packed it all in and I, I surrendered. And that's sometimes important. And to surrender and just get on with your life because who you are is a value. But then I was very much in my life because I was. A therapist living in London and a lot of my boyfriends were were very successful, very charismatic and very energetically. But, for me now, I look back, I mean, my partner Ian, is very most intelligent. He's very is a shy guy. Like I thought I had be someone who's really fun and out there, he's quite shy and everything, but you know what, it's that connection. It's that, it's that, that feeling. And, I might sound like I'm contradicting myself here, that you wanna have a list, okay. That this is what you want. But sometimes the list is too rigid and the list that really is right for you, like the, the dream board is about the feelings about somebody who you completely can rely on. You know that person who's a, who's a stayer. You know,

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 30:28

Mm.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 30:29

and I think that it's quite good to take a little bit of a vacation from finding love because then you can start to work on yourself and, and trust that the universe will provide. And I know it sounds very cliche, but you know what it really does provide.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 30:45

That's so beautiful and I needed to hear that because I think just the societal pressure as a woman,

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 30:51

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 30:51

you know, I also would like to have kids, and that clock is ticking and I. I have fear that it won't happen, but I think I'm actually a bit more afraid of. Settling with the wrong person. I think that would be a, probably a bigger regret for me. So I think I just need to, to your point, trust, and I am taking a bit of a hiatus, I suppose, like whether it was intended or not from dating. And I think in that time, what I should, what I'm hearing from you that I should probably. Pour some of that love back into myself and rest assured, so long as I'm doing the work on myself and opening my channels up to the universe that like when it's meant to be, it will be and it will be hopefully the right person. And I will know that based off of how. That connection fills in real time as opposed to the qualifications on my, I have a rich list. Like I have

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 31:43

Yes.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 31:43

must be over six feet. Must be like all like it must not be a drunk. But I think like those things are nice, but I have had people who've checked off almost every qualification on my list. in their presence, like my nervous system did not feel safe. Like I felt always on, on edge and I don't want that either. So thank you for sharing all of that. That's actually really helpful for me in this moment.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 32:07

I think that's an important point to make, that there are certain things that I think are important is that you do wanna be with somebody who doesn't drink because that means, you know, I, I think that that would be probably one of the things I would, I mean, obviously somebody maybe has the odd champagne here or there at a party or a celebration,

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 32:23

Right?

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 32:23

but you, you.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 32:24

Yeah, I don't mind that.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 32:25

Yeah, but is not a regular drinker because that's something that's really important to you. But there are so many people out there who don't drink. Right. But what is great then you're gonna meet somebody who doesn't drink.'cause it's already happening now. We're already putting it out there now, aren't we? Is that. The antenna, the emotional antenna is asking for somebody who's very emotionally intelligent and is very much about, about being present. And that person is that person who you're going to attract. You know,'cause they're looking for you as much as you are looking for them. Remember that?

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 33:01

I, yes, I know. So I was, I said, I hope so. I hope so. And I know, so, I wanna shift gears slightly because I'm a single girl in my mid thirties, but I wanna also just represent for maybe the women out there who are currently in a relationship with someone and may not feel that. Connection that we just talked about may not feel like the relationship is serving them in the capacity that they want it to. Whether that be related to lifestyle differences such as maybe they're trying to change their relationship with alcohol and their partner's still drinking or drinking in excess or just something feels off. Like do you have any suggestions for those people who may feel like stuck in that? Cycle of being in a relationship and not necessarily know if it's right for them, but maybe feel speaking of intuition, like that inner knowing that like something is amiss.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 33:56

I guess it depends which part of the cycle they're in, if that's a short term relationship. You know, it's been long term. I mean, people, you know, people evolve and sometimes I think it's a really important to, to part ways children involve more complicated, of course. But I think what I would suggest is that. Communication is really important in relationship. And if you feel that you are not being heard or you are being dissed and, and treated like, oh, you know, don't talk to me about that because obviously vulnerability, you know, there's shame involved. There's a lot of complications there, but, but you've gotta remember your intuition keeps you strong. And as strong as it is sometimes, there's always gonna be self-doubt. But, and I think that a lot of people are, I, because having this conversation with, with one, one of the moms the other day and she's saying she's, she's separated from her husband just about to get divorced. She said, oh, you know, he just, he's not a self-starter. I said, well, what man is a self-starter? I mean, like, she was married when she was 21 and I said, most men are not self-started and I'm not being judgment about men.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 35:09

Yeah.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 35:09

saying women are the initiators. Women stuff always seem to instigate change. Men will just be, you know, I mean, the point of the matter is he didn't want to change, you know, and that's fine.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 35:21

Yeah.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 35:21

But there were things that needed to be sorted out. And I think that's my point, is that it depends how much. In the relationship, you're able to communicate. And if you just feel that you constantly hit a brick wall, and you think, well, actually my voice isn't being heard, I'm being undervalued and not respected in my thoughts about us coexisting together, then you've gotta think about not being there your sense of who you has to be valued in that relationship.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 35:50

Absolutely. That's a priority, right? Because believe you show people how to treat you. And if you don't value yourself highly, then why would anyone else? And if you don't hold firm to your beliefs and your values and your boundaries, then other people will see that and. May respond accordingly. So I totally agree with that. I just think it's tough because I've been in relationships as well that were long term and it just sometimes can feel like, how do I get out of this? Do I get out of this? Is this a moment? But I think to your point, like communication is integral and if you have tried to communicate and the person doesn't want to change, there's nothing you can do beyond doing what's best for you in that moment.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 36:30

No, and I think that's right and I mean, you know, there's a great saying, you know, you can choose to be in the VBO or the ABO. The V vote is the victim vote and the a vote is action. You know, there are a lot of people in relationships who just, they're so frightened to make the change and just wanna, and be belligerent and just say, well, if you are the problem, not me. But deep down, everybody knows what's right for them. It's just having that courage, you know. But the other thing is, you know, relationships evolve through children and, you know, it's, it's about making time for each other. There is often a fine line between that, but in that interim stages in a relationship, and I think in the first, you know, 3, 4, 5 years when you start to become really familiar in, in your groove with each other is, has got to be time for each other and just to be present with each other. And I think that's gotta be in a sober space without a doubt,

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 37:27

Right. Yeah.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 37:28

I find with a lot of couples when this drinking thing starts to really break down is that they only spend time together when they're drinking and it's not good.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 37:39

guilty. Yeah. That was me too. Like I stayed in relationships way longer than I should have because the common thread oh, well, when we drink together, we have a good

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 37:47

Yeah, exactly.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 37:48

but any other time it's like, I actually hate your guts.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 37:51

Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 37:52

we just drink more. We just drink more.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 37:54

Exactly. No, I agree. And I think that's, that's a very big sign for me. You know, if my partner doesn't wanna hang out with me sober done would be,

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 38:04

Yeah.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 38:05

you know, I think it's a big, it's a big sign of a lot of things because who we are present is extraordinary.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 38:13

Right.

georgia_3_02-12-2026_103809 38:14

in the moment is really a beautiful thing in a relationship where you just say, whether you're watching a movie or you're walking on the beach, or you're, you know. Going to the cafe and having a fresh juice, whatever it is, is just being present is really important, you know?

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-11-2026_183808 38:28

Agreed.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 38:31

Speaking of just being present another truth I've admitted on the show is that I never, before getting sober, I had never had sex for the first time without being under the influence of alcohol or another substance. And then beyond that, even in my relationships, my intimate relationships. Oftentimes alcohol and substances were in the mix. And so I was wondering from you, Georgia, and through your work and expertise, if you have found with your clients or through your work that other people overly rely on alcohol to connect. And then if there are any other symptoms, like what is that telling us? If we feel like we need to drink in order to have an intimate relationship with someone?

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 39:17

Well, we drink to shut down the inner critic, you know,

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 39:20

Right.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 39:21

Relax. And the inner critical say, if you don't drink, you'll be boring or you won't reach an orgasm. Whatever. The natural fact,, the research is there is that. When you drink alcohol, you may get the chemical dopamine reaction and be more chilled out and more relaxed. But actually your sensories, your internal sensories affected. So it actually stops. You actually enjoying the pleasure of being present even more. but that once again takes practice and having sober sex is. For a lot of people, high anxiety, but it is about starting to practice once again, that it's safe to go into the experience with somebody who you feel very safe with, that you don't feel vulnerable with.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 40:04

Mm.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 40:05

And being in a, in a situation where. That you both make an agreement that you're not drinking and then once you get, it's a bit like riding a bike. You know? more you do it, it just, it just gets easier

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 40:19

Right.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 40:20

the more your mind becomes familiar, that being present. I mean, it's one of my biggest rules I've had in my life in fact, all of my life, apart from, you know, having had big party moments, is I only like sober sex.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 40:34

Wow. I feel like that's rare. Most people that I've, I shouldn't say most people. I won't speak for everyone. Maybe it's foreign to me, that concept. I do enjoy sober sex now, but before that, that concept was like completely foreign. I was just like, oh my gosh, how am I supposed to, I. Connect with someone for the first time, but maybe it's going back to my own anxiety and like to your point, maybe I didn't feel connected truly or safe in that person's company and so I was just using alcohol to mask that feeling. So that is a rule that you've had. Do you advise that for your clients as well, like as they enter a new relationship that they should not use alcohol in sexual encounters?

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 41:17

I don't set those rules for anybody because it's not my business to,

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 41:20

Right.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 41:21

for others. I do suggest that when you have sober sex and you get really comfortable with it, oh my god, it's so much more fun.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 41:27

It is so much fun. Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 41:30

But you have to create the library. Once again, it's the same thing, you know? So you have to imagine that you are in that space and that you are relaxed. And because remember, when you are in a heightened sexual arousal state, you are producing very different chemicals and you are present, but you

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 41:46

Right.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 41:47

to, to, experience that moment. So practicing in hypnosis before you experience it would be fantastic.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 41:55

Ooh.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 41:55

I think that just going slow and steady.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 41:58

Yeah,

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 41:59

plan to have the full on sexual moment that first time.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 42:02

yeah, yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 42:03

know, maybe just build it up. Build it up, build it up.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 42:07

It's a crescendo and then like that yearning is even greater sometimes. I never thought to ever. Use hypnosis or like meditate or like, think through. A sexual experience before it happens. I guess like imagining like I have a wild imagination. So I've definitely had those moments where like my mind has wondered and I'm like, oh, like I can imagine what it's like. I don't know if that's the same thing, but do you think we should be intentional and, and actually like practice how to have sex, but from a meditative state, from a hypnotic state? Like actually tried to embody that before the experience.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 42:44

Yeah, yeah. Amazing. Yeah, no, amazing. That's manifestation, Your mind becomes familiar with it, and when it becomes familiar, then it will enact upon it and feel comfortable. Absolutely, and it's a bit like, you know, if you like, I mean, great example is a client who failed their driving test six times, and the only reason why they failed six times is because their anxiety was so high, their critic was strong, but with the para prognosis showing that person how to pass their driving test. With the other part of their brain, the intuitive part that knows it's safe to be a really good driver and they know they're a good driver. You know that having sober sex, now you have the references

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 43:24

Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 43:25

when you practice them. But you can also do it in vitro or in vivo. So you can do it either way, but if you wanna do it straight away, direct, you know, skin on skin, person to person being present with each other, it works just as well. It's just that you need to know that. That person is understanding they don't even have to know, but you have to trust and go in a situation and start to calm yourself down, be in a good space, in some good thoughts.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 43:53

Mm-hmm.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 43:56

but being present being in the moment. So, you know, I think, I think like anything, it's good to practice the outcome before we get there anyway,

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 44:04

Okay.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 44:05

mind is familiar with it.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 44:07

That's an exclusive, I'm gonna practice, I'm gonna practice in my mind before my next encounter because yeah, I think that that will help maybe quell some of the anxiety. And then like I do truly believe in the power of manifestation and maybe I just need to let myself experience any discomfort and like figure out what comes up for me and then adjust accordingly as well. So I love that. I would love to learn from you how does shame show up and how can we like reduce that shame when it comes to the inner critic as it regards to sex and relationships or intimacy I should say.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 44:44

Well, shame is really the inner critic. Right. It's just, you know, in intimate relationships as well,, you're with a critical partner, somebody who's very judgmental of you or whatever, which is really a big sign of a no-no. Right? That's an antenna moment. But I think that we've got to stop Comparing ourselves with other people

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 45:06

Mm-hmm.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 45:07

thing. Well, this person does this, this person does that better than you. It's this comparing the whole time as well.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 45:14

Mm-hmm.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 45:14

You know, I always say that. If you could sit in my clinic for a day and be a fly on the wall, you'd think, oh my God, that's me. That person, that person thinks that too. got an inner critic. I would assume most people have some sort of shame, especially if they've been a drinker. Many references of shame. And unfortunately there is the, the great aunt that says, oh, you know, oh gosh, you used to drink so much, you were, you know, whatever, da, da, da. And that the external validity of, of the shame doesn't help either

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 45:47

Right.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 45:48

the internal and the external. So really what you need to do is be a bit shielded and protected around people who are a bit negative by nature. But really healing yourself from the shame is starting to. Be kinder to yourself and to train your mind to build references that are very different to those shameful moments and say, well, that was then, and really place it somewhere and make sure that you put it energetically somewhere else so you can build your references that show you that, you know, I didn't know then. I just,

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 46:21

Right.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 46:22

I'm everyone's learning on the job.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 46:24

Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 46:25

but shame is just the inner critic on fire.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 46:28

Sometimes even like awareness and not necessarily in the moment feeling like we have to have all the answers. Sometimes for me, the inner critic will come up and it's like, instead of beating myself up even more for having the. Thought or like, whatever the critique is, I just, acknowledge, okay, oh well, where is that coming from? Okay, noted. As opposed to trying to fix everything as it comes up. I think just the awareness sometimes is helpful and then once you become more and more self-aware, you can start to act and stop being the victim to your earlier point. Like, okay, I wanna act and change, but like in order to change, you have to be able to identify some of the patterns and the triggers and why that's coming up for you.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 47:08

Yeah, and that's all learned behavior once again, you

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 47:11

Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 47:12

You know, I think it's very important to. To honor that, you know, but if you wanna make change, you do have to take action. And I think that is that bit of courage. I mean, to quit drinking is very courageous. But what you've discovered is there's a whole world out there

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 47:26

Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 47:27

that when you are yourself the whole time and there's nowhere to run, there's nowhere to hide, then you know, you will meet somebody who it's very acknowledging of that, right? You need to be somebody who knows, who maybe has had the similar drinking experience or just, it's just not their gig, you know? I mean, talking to my my cousin and his wife, and he met his wife on the internet and he's a bit older than her, she's never been, she's never been a drinker, but he's really into sports, and so. He doesn't really drink anymore because they're just kind of whatever, know? And I think it's just, it has to be with somebody, you know, relationship shame within, or being with somebody who reminds you of that, just can't be anywhere near them, you know?

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 48:15

Yeah. Yeah. It's like you are a quantum shield, like you're protecting your energy from those negative Nellie or like people who don't necessarily align with the same beliefs and values that you have, which is okay. Like I think that's a boundary and that's safe.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 48:31

And to say that to, just to remind you about, and remind myself of this, is I have this very kind of saying that, so when you. Attract the same partner with the same dynamic to, oh, here again, why did I not see?'cause they had different colored hair, or they had a different job, or they drove a different car, or they lived in different country.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 48:51

Mm-hmm.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 48:52

know what? Whatever, whatever it is, is the radar is there, and there'll be this instant drain feeling, this

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 49:00

Yep. Mm-hmm.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 49:03

What you wanna have is the radiate feeling. You've got your drainers and you've got your radiators.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 49:08

Okay. Tell us about the radiators. That's what I want.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 49:11

So it's that feeling, you think I've gone down the same path again. You can then say, right, done. So really it's about knowing the signs and that intuition, keeping it strong once again. And when it comes to somebody who is drinking too much and you know, it's becoming a problem they can meet you halfway or do whatever, but if they're not willing, know, that's one. One thing would be like no brainer, draw the line. It has to be somebody who doesn't drink,

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 49:41

Yeah. Yeah. Adjust accordingly. I've been there before and I have dated men who had similar drinking patterns to me. I've dated men who were sober, but ultimately like that drain. I know that feeling all too well from both sides. So yeah, I want someone that energizes me. I want something that makes someone that makes me feel alive and not because they need to pour life into me, but like they can match my life force.'cause I have a great life force and I want someone that can find that and match that level of energy. Okay. Winding down Georgia. I have a quick game for you. Is it okay? Do you mind playing with us? Okay. So the game is simple. It's just a rapid fire Valentine's edition of the Sober Butterfly. First question, just whatever comes to mind. What is one belief about love that you wish everyone would unlearn?

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 50:36

Wow. Okay. that being kind is weak.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 50:41

Ah, that being kind is weak. Yeah. Yeah. I think especially from a female perspective. We don't like the nice kind guys. We don't, we don't like them, but like, what's wrong with'em? Why do I get the ick? But I, I don't know. Yeah. I need to unlearn that. Yeah. It doesn't mean they're weak. It doesn't mean that they're not like even an alpha male, that's what you're looking for.'Cause I do like the alpha male, but like, they tend to also have stereotypes like being assholes. So Yeah. I need to unlearn that. Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 51:14

aren't kind

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 51:15

No, they're not, they're not. Yeah, that's a good one.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 51:18

that's something that I learned. I, I learned that in, when I met my partner Ian, it was like he was the first man and like for a long time who actually. Was kind

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 51:31

Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 51:31

kind, really kind of thoughtful and and I feel very strongly that that's one thing I wanna, I instill into my children, my, my three boys, so they don't marry bitches

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 51:45

Ha. Fair. Yeah.'cause it goes both ways. You're right. You're right. And being kind and being nice. It's such a small difference, but it is a difference. Like you don't have to be like the Yeah. Nice, nice. You just be a kind person. Be genuinely kind.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 52:02

I think being emotionally intelligent is a big, big tick for me. Like

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 52:06

Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 52:07

able to, I mean, you know, I think a lot of men miss a lot of things, but my partner doesn't miss a lot of things. He doesn't add, again, I That's, but he is a bloke.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 52:17

Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 52:18

but do think it's, it's, it's being able to be present,

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 52:22

Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 52:22

Being kind. And when you know that you are in a bad space is they genuinely do care. They're not kind of saying, oh, just, just get over it. You

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 52:33

Oh my God,

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 52:34

they may not say too much, but it's that presence, you know that they're there. You know,

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 52:40

I do now.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 52:41

have one foot out the door.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 52:43

Or some guys just go through the motions or people go through the motions. It's like you don't really care, but like on paper it seemed like you care, but like the energy isn't quite there. So yeah, I think that's a very key distinction. Okay. My next question for you do you think the heartbreak is necessary for growth?

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 53:03

Ooh. I think so. I

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 53:07

I think so. Yeah, I think it's a good like arc, a story arc.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 53:12

I think yes. I think then, you know, it, it, I think being real and VI think we do need vulnerability in our lives and I think that that love is one of them I think the answer is yes, but if it doesn't happen that way, it'll happen some other way.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 53:29

Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 53:31

Unfortunately, I think that's one of life life's lessons is,

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 53:34

Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 53:35

is being in a really, really challenging space that you felt very, was beyond your control.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 53:42

It almost looks like you're fortify, fertilized, is that the word I'm looking for? Fertilized? Fortified. Fortified by the fire, fortified, fertilized fortified by the fire. Yeah. Like you kind of have to go through it sometimes to get through it to the other side. I love that.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 53:58

Yeah, I think that's why it's really important to have that little five minute visualization.'cause you think I will get through this, this will get better, this will get better.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 54:06

Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 54:07

and I think when you think that first flush, whether, whether it's your 14, you know, you get dumped or whatever, whenever it is, is that the universe I always believe does provide, I

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 54:18

Yeah.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 54:18

believe that.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 54:19

I genuinely believe that I, I feel like. What is life if I don't believe that, like, I, I don't know. I look, I, I wanna believe in that. Like I have to believe in something greater than my own control. I do. Okay. My last question for you is, what is one small inner shift that can lead to a big external change?

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 54:44

A doubt is just remembering the inner critic is not the truth. It never doesn't know your future,

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 54:50

Mm-hmm.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 54:51

you can create a future. It's very different to where you've been, so without a doubt. What's important to know is that. That your history is not your future.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 55:02

Very wise words to end the episode. Your inner critic is not the truth and it feels very loud at times. It can be overwhelming, but you can quiet it with time through practice and yeah. Sometimes we are just our worst, worst enemies, and so on a positive note, that can change and that can change everything. Okay. I would be so honored and I am very much putting you on the spot. This has been such a gift. So thank you for being here and sharing just everything that you've mentioned with the intersection of like alcohol, behavior change, emotional patterns relationships with ourselves, with other people. I would love if you could lead us out with sort of like either like visualization, exercise or a mantra that comes to mind because I know that this is what you specialize in, so if anything comes to mind Georgia, I would love if you can guide us through a very short visualization or hypnosis exercise.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 56:04

Sure

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 56:05

I appreciate that.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 56:06

their eyes?

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 56:07

Yes. I'm closing my eyes. Okay. Everyone do this in real time.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 56:11

Okay. So just closing your eyes. Remember, you can have a busy thought, busy brain, that's completely fine. But what I want you to do is just to think about that space in the middle of your forehead, and I want you to imagine. heat in there. And as you focus on that heat, I want you just to let this beautiful golden light go through that part, and I want you to start to spread it. Just imagining and feel that spread of that heat, that light starting to go at the back of your head, the front of your head, at the side of your head, down your neck. And I want you now to visualize and feel that warmth start to spread down through your arms, your chest, your back to digestive system, starting to really circulate to your legs and to your feet, your toes. And as this light is starting to really spread. I want you to know that this light is a healing light and this light is sending positive messages to every living cell that who you are is more expansive than you could ever imagine. More expansive than you can see right now. And this beautiful light, this golden light is spending so much time in your heart and your voice and your throat gifting you this lovely sensation of knowing that you dunno how life is improving. just know that it is. You don't need to know the how. You just need to know that it is, and it's imagining this beautiful golden light, feeling it through your day and into night, and as the night falls into day and the days fall into weeks that you remember that this light is there. To gift you intuition, to gift you courage, give you strength, to give you more knowledge of how feel better about you, how to attract positive people and situations into your life because this light is sending messages. Messages to let you know when it's safe, when it's to retreat, time to protect, time to explore, time to have fun, time to be present, and time to imagine amazing outcomes in your life. Outcomes that you are magnetizing into your life. Good people, amazing situations that are good for your soul, different a shift. Change is good. Change is important. Change gives you so many amazing moments. To expand the horizons of your dreams, the horizons of your journey, and know that the journey now is more fun. It's more interesting because you're ready with this beautiful healing golden light. Every living cell is so thankful that you're lifting the vibrational energy of you to trust in your journey. To enjoy being present full of gratitude and feeling the wisdom flow through you because that tenor is there guiding you, showing you what to say yes to, what to say no to, to expand your And trust in the journey. And now just take a deep breath as you open your eyes fully present all parts back into the present.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 1:01:01

Wow. I just mouth. Wow. Wow. I am. I feel amazing. Like I went with you on that journey. I watch these YouTube videos, these manifestation morning videos a million times better. I am so blown away by you. Wow, Georgia, thank you so much. I'm so honored that you shared that with me. I, I'm gonna play that back.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 1:01:25

me.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 1:01:25

That was incredible. Did you just come up with that? What? That's insane. How amazing that is.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 1:01:32

Well, I, I, I never use scripts with hypnosis. I just, I don't know. I think they, they tell me what to say. I don't, I don't ever know

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 1:01:39

Yes, I would say they, they definitely tell you what to say. That was like spot on. Like I feel like that encompassed everything that we discussed today and I feel so good. And that was a message that I needed to hear. For people that listening at home. I hope that you felt what I felt That was incredible. Thank you, Georgia. I'm like truly honored that you led us through that. I feel so just refreshed and energized and I'm gonna listen to that in the morning. Like that was incredible. That's a great way to start your day. Oh my goodness. Thank you.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 1:02:12

pleasure.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 1:02:13

I'm gonna plug everything in the show notes so that people can connect with you. But if there's any closing remarks that you have for us, Georgia, if people wanna work with you, find you ask questions, whatever it may be. That was a small testament to like your power. But yeah, please share with us how we can connect with you.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 1:02:31

Yeah, sure. My website, which is Georgia foster.com. So everything's there. My programs my supplements, everything is there. That, that you obviously, any questions, please drop me an email and I'll get back to you. Different time zone being in Australia, so bear with me,

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 1:02:47

Yes, there.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 1:02:48

I'm here.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 1:02:49

Thank you. Well, we actually have some Aussie listeners. I get all my demographics, so if you're also in Australia, even, even closer. But.

georgia_4_02-12-2026_105749 1:02:57

I, yeah, I mean, if anybody's in Melbourne, let me know. I'm running a seminar next weekend about drinking less, so people are interested. Let me know.

the-sober-butterfly_4_02-11-2026_185749 1:03:05

Thank you so much.

the-sober-butterfly_7_02-13-2026_051216 1:03:08

Roses are red, violets are blue. I don't need alcohol to feel safe with you or seen with you or connected to you. I mean, we could go on and on here. Butterflies, Georgia, just, wow. I'm not even going to sit here and pretend like I'm not feeling completely refreshed after that. This episode was like a nervous system reset, heart reset, intuition reset, and I'm absolutely replaying that guided meditation again and again. I've already listened to it three times since recording this. I encourage you to also come back to this whenever you need it. I wanna name what I think is probably the most powerful takeaway from today. You don't need alcohol to be confident. You don't need alcohol to be intimate. You don't need alcohol to be lovable. And if you are noticing patterns, like me, anxious attachment, girly over here, or maybe you're retracting the same types of avoidant partners, repeating the same dynamic basically in a different. Body in a different form, different haircut, different job, different whatever. Georgia said this perfectly. We have to train our intuition to be stronger than our dating history. And as we head into Valentine's Day, I wanna remind you that the most important relationship is the one you will have with yourself when your self worth rises, your standards rise. When your nervous system feels safe, your choices are clearer or that emotional antenna, as Georgia puts it, I. Can fully do its job and detect who's truly meant for you, who speaks to your soul. And when you stop drinking to escape you, you start attracting what's good for your soul. So if you loved this episode, please share this with a friend who's navigating, dating, or drinking less or healing their relationship patterns. And if you did the visualization exercise with us, DM me. DM Georgia. Let us know how you felt, because I know I'm not the only one who went on that journey. You can connect with georgia@georgiafoster.com. I will link everything in the show notes, including her programs and how to reach out. This episode is also available on YouTube if you want to watch us go through that entire journey. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for choosing growth and happy Valentine's Day butterflies. Make sure you're following me on Instagram to catch my Dubai Adventures with my girls. I love you. Be kind to yourself, be true to yourself. You are enough, and I will catch you next week, bye.