How Much Does a Night Cost? Sobriety Lessons From Being Mistaken for a Sex Worker in Dubai

What does a night really cost?

In this solo episode of The Sober Butterfly Podcast, Nadine shares reflections from a recent trip to Dubai that sparked a powerful realization about sobriety. After being mistaken for a sex worker in an elevator the night before Ramadan — when a man asked her “how much for a night” — she began thinking deeply about the hidden cost of her nights when she used to drink compared to the nights she experiences now in sobriety.

Nadine contrasts her calm, grounded response in sobriety with a similar experience from 2020 in Medellín at The Click Clack Hotel, when she was drinking, spiraled emotionally, and was initially denied entry because staff assumed she was a sex worker. Through these parallel moments, she explores identity, self-trust, and how sobriety changes internal reactions to external events.

This episode breaks down:

• The financial and emotional cost of drinking
• Hangovers, anxiety, shame, and lost time
• The hidden price of numbing emotions
• What sobriety actually costs (vulnerability, discomfort, growth)
• What sobriety gives back (peace, confidence, clarity, mornings)
• Writing a breakup letter to alcohol
• How to reflect on your own relationship with drinking

Nadine also reads an excerpt from a breakup letter to alcohol and invites listeners to consider: How much do your nights cost?

If you are sober curious, alcohol-free, or questioning your relationship with drinking, this episode will resonate deeply.

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Transcript

the-sober-butterfly_2_02-26-2026_064011 0:01

Hello, butterflies and welcome back to the Sober Butterfly Podcast. I'm your host, Nadine. And today's episode starts with a question that honestly has followed me around the world. How much? How much does a night cost, because I was in Dubai recently. As you may have saw on Instagram, living My Best Life, and within the first 48 hours of me being in Dubai, a man looked me dead in the eyes, and asked me the simple question, how much for a night? this man thought I was a sex worker in case that was not clear. And while that moment was indeed awkward, and I'll get to that story in a bit, now that I have some hindsight, this happened about a week ago. that moment of being confused as a sex worker was honestly one of the deepest reflections I've had about sobriety in a long time. Because it made me think how much do our nights cost when we're drinking, when we're escaping, when we're numbing, and how much do they cost me now that I'm sober? So today I am sharing stories from Dubai. That experience, and the hidden price of nights I used to live versus the nights I live now and if you're listening on audio, you can always watch this full episode on YouTube, which I highly recommend today because I am wearing a beautiful abaya that I got in Abu Dhabi and I feel very like main character energy in this beautiful abaya. So if you want the full visual experience, definitely check out the show notes and watch it on YouTube.

the-sober-butterfly_3_02-26-2026_064400 1:43

Okay, let's get into it. Let me rewind a little bit to Valentine's Day. So I actually flew out from Newark Airport to Dubai on Valentine's Day, which felt very poetic in a sense, just because this year I guess I technically had a Valentine. But it didn't feel like I actually had a Valentine. I was asked last minute by this guy. I've been talking to Chicago, if you follow the show. He asked me. The day of Valentine's Day, the morning of before I flew out, if I would be his Valentine. And so technically, I guess I had a Valentine, but there was no Valentine sentiment, if you get my drift. I had actually seen him earlier that week and. He could have asked me in person to be his Valentine and maybe plan something, but that didn't happen. So I'm on the fence here, like, I guess technically head of Valentine. But like, what does that mean? Literally, when he asked me, I was like, yes. But what does that mean? Like, what are we doing? And he was like, oh, next time. Anyway, back to this. So flying out the evening of Valentine's Day halfway across the world on a holiday centered around love. But this time it wasn't romantic love for me the theme for this trip to Dubai was centered around friendship. And if you heard the episode I shot a few weeks ago with Melissa Rodway, the author of the people you Meet on Vacation melissa shared some insights around her backpacking experiences through Southeast Asia, and one thing that I took away from that episode is like always having a purpose for a trip. So the purpose for this trip was centered around friendship, as mentioned, growth, honesty, and self-love. It's Valentine's Day. I love myself. Okay, my friend Kim, who I've now traveled to many countries with, we actually met in Mexico when we lived there, and we've gone to Germany together. Greece, Turkey. What else have we gone? Oh, Peru, we did the Salkantay, if you remember that. If you remember that episode. Yeah. The episode where I like pooped my pants somewhere in the Andes this past summer. Yeah. Kim was there for that. So she's my ride or die. So my friend Kim actually met me on the second leg of her trip. So she was flying in from LA and then the connection, we were both on. Left from Newark. And then we did the 14 hour stint together to Dubai. And Dubai is just for context, about nine hours ahead of New York. So when we landed in Dubai around 7:40 PM the following day, so now it's the 15th, a Sunday. My body. Had absolutely no idea what time it was anymore. I just knew that I was exhausted. So we went through customs, we grabbed our luggage, we got to the Airbnb, and we did what any exhausted people would do. We ordered takeout and we binge watched Netflix. We actually watched Bridgeston together, and that first night actually felt very special in a way that had nothing to do with Dubai. Like we didn't really see Dubai, aside from the drive-in from the airport, but because there was a time in my life when arriving somewhere new meant alcohol immediately. In fact, I would've been drinking somewhere over the transatlantic, but I digress. I've talked about this, but just to remind you guys, like I would've been drinking upon arrival. Like I would've picked up a bottle probably from customs because it's cheaper, and especially in Dubai which doesn't have a big drinking culture, which I'll get into later. I would've been proactive. I would've been like, oh, you know, I need to like get the tax free bottles here because it's cheaper or whatever. So duty free wine, airport, drink, celebration, drinks, like the whole gambit. That would've been me. But this time I just felt safe, I felt present it was just amazing to catch up with Kim and we were laughing and there was just so much like positive. Moments there, and I remember thinking, this already feels different now. I've traveled with Kim before sobriety and in sobriety and Kim has actually seen many different iterations of me. Shout out to the friends who know you before. Sobriety, AKA, like the dark ages. Those day ones who can see the evolution and the growth. And after the trip she sent me a beautiful message, just about how at peace she feels the eye seem, which is amazing to hear from someone I trust. So anyway, night one was amazing. The next day. So now this is Monday, we booked a tour of Dubai just to see some of the sites and also check out some of the relics from like old Dubai. And then we went to Dubai Mall, which is downtown. We were staying in that area. And let me tell you, Dubai must have the most like malls per. Capita, like square mile, whatever, it was insane. And like these malls are not your average suburban mall, this was opulent at its finest.. Like one particular section of the mall had its own Chinatown. If that gives you any context. One thing I can say about Dubai. They like their malls. They like to shop. Anyway, so we went to the Dubai Mall, we did some shopping and then later that night we went to a restaurant called Amazonico for dinner. Amazing vibes. Food was delicious. They had a live DJ downstairs in the restaurant, and then there was even like a drumming performance that was so much fun. After we finished eating, we got in the elevator to head up to the rooftop. They had a rooftop bar and there was a party going on. This is also the day before Ramadan started.

Nadine Mulvina 7:27

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the-sober-butterfly_4_02-26-2026_065557 8:38

And this was the night before Ramadan. So everything felt alive. People were just out celebrating before the shift into the holy month. The restaurant was full, there was music playing as mentioned. so we get into the elevator and There was a guy who got into the elevator from the second floor restaurant, and he was by himself. He got in with us then we clicked R to go to rooftop, but for whatever reason, we went from the second floor back down to the ground floor. So there was just like this brief moment of confusion because the elevator went down first. And so he said something like it's gonna go up. Like, don't worry, we're going to the right place. So we thanked him and then maybe like five seconds pass dead silence. Like Kim and I are just like, you know how it's awkward in elevators when someone else is there? So like we stopped talking. We were just kinda like waiting anyway, five seconds pass dead silence. Then he turns to me, he looks me dead in my eyes. That's the part that just throws me the most, like this man looked me in my face, in my eyes, and he goes, how much for a night? He had a bit of an accent. I was like, legitimately like, wait, what? And so he repeated himself how much for a night? He enunciated more this time. He's like, how much for a night? I kind of looked at Kim and then she's looking like, Ooh, like what? And then it just clicked and I'm like, oh, this man thinks I'm a sex worker. My brain short circuited Kim later reported that I said something about like drinks, like are you asking about drinks? And then thankfully the elevator doors opened and reprieved us from that situation. And when we walked out. There was like people on the landing of the rooftop now, like the vibes are different. There was a bouncer, someone by the door. Dubai is definitely a lady city, like they constantly have ladies nights and so like, we didn't even stop. He immediately looked us up and down and was like, oh, come in. And then the guy behind us got stopped at the door. So I don't even know if he made it inside the establishment or not, but what stayed with me wasn't the. Comment that he made of the question. It was just how I felt about it because this actually was not the first time that I had been confused for a sex worker on vacation.

the-sober-butterfly_5_02-26-2026_070123 10:47

the first time this happened on vacation was actually in medellin Columbia, December, 2020 at Click Clack Hotel. Okay. I'm calling you about click clack, that night says so much about where I was back then. So 20, 20 December. Imagine I'm not sober guys. For context, I was there. In December, 2020 I went with a girlfriend to visit. Two friends, I'm gonna air quote friends. Uh, I'll get into that later. Two friends that I was visiting who were living in medellin at the time. One friend is a true friend that I've had for many years and then his best friend was somebody that I was like in a situationship with throughout COVID. So at this point in our. Friendship. The Situationship guy and I were like just friends, but like not really. It was very emotionally confusing for me. And so of course I was overcompensating with alcohol, so we went to dinner. I remember actually I paid for that whole meal, which, yes, medellin is cheaper than New York, but it was a nice dinner and that also was just like very on-brand for me when I was drinking. I was very generous. Okay. I was very generous with my money in ways that were not always aligned with my bank account. Imagine I paid for this entire dinner. Of course, we were drinking. And internationally speaking, alcohol was always expensive at dinner. So after dinner, the guys wanted to go to the rooftop at click clack and Medel Yin is very hilly, and I was wearing heels. So that walk was about 10 minutes. And I was like, absolutely not. So my girlfriend and I took an Uber while the boys walked the 10 minutes up the, and by the time we arrived to click Clack, we were about 25 minutes behind them. We had to wait for the Uber. And the irony here is that while we were waiting for the Uber outside of the restaurant, I remember noticing like this neon sign that said No sex workers, like it was pink. I think I took a picture of it. If I can find it, I will plug it But that was just like, that's such an odd thing to have at a restaurant. Anyway, we got to the hotel and when we arrived, the front desk people, this is a hotel, we were not staying at this hotel. However, the rooftop is open to the public. But anyway, when we got there, they would not let me in. They would not let us in. My girlfriend was there too. And at first I just thought maybe there was a misunderstanding. My Spanish wasn't very great and I couldn't understand what they were saying. And so while I was confused, I was trying to assert myself. Like why are you prohibiting me from entering meanwhile, we're WhatsApping with the boys upstairs, and they're just like, that's crazy. Do you want us to come down? But also, like, why are you asking? Just come, come get us. But I actually don't think I told'em to come down and I was like, no, we're gonna handle this. Like, I'm gonna figure this out. Um, eventually, like these two British guys. Ended up walking into the hotel, they were staying there and they could tell something was going on and they spoke better Spanish and they started to talk to the staff on our behalf. And eventually they got us in like maybe like seven to 10 minutes later, but it felt like a lifetime, you know, like it was a lot of back and forth. And when we got into the elevator to go up to the rooftop, they explained in English what had happened. They were very direct and they were just like, I'm so sorry, but the, the staff thought that you were a sex worker and that's why they wouldn't let you in. Wait, what? Like why would I be a sex worker? Like immediately I just felt ownership over that title. Like I was somehow in the wrong and I was the problem. And I was drinking at the time, of course. So my emotions spiraled and that feeling just stuck with me. And it was pretty prevalent throughout the trip. Now fast forward to Dubai, different country, same incorrect assumption, completely different internal experience. This time I did not internalize it. I didn't question myself. I mostly just thought, what is going on here? You know? And then I moved on we went to the rooftop. We had a great time we started dancing. Like I said, it's the night before Ramadan, so the city was alive I think the only difference, I mean like the situations are very similar, rooftop sex worker. This is a testament to how sobriety has changed something fundamental in me,

the-sober-butterfly_6_02-26-2026_070807 15:16

so now that I've shared those two experiences, I wanna bring it back to that core question of how much does a night cost, Because when I was drinking. My nights definitely had prices, not just money, although I spent a lot of money, all the Ubers and late night takeout and entry fees and you know, buying the bar for other people. Those obviously have monetary attachments, but the real costs were hidden. And I know you're probably wondering, Nadine, what were those hidden costs? Well, let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we? Hangovers that stole my morning, sometimes my afternoon, sometimes the entire day. Or trip anxiety that lasted forever. The lost time. The blurry memories, the emotional regret, the energy depletion. The confidence borrowed instead of built. There were nights I paid with exhaustion. There were nights I paid with shame. There were nights I paid with promises to myself. I did not keep, and I didn't realize how expensive it was until I stopped.

the-sober-butterfly_7_02-26-2026_071037 16:21

now my nights cost something different. And by no means is it completely easy. It costs me vulnerability, like having the courage to admit if something doesn't sit well or feel right. It costs me feeling, my emotions removing myself from certain situations, sometimes being different. The only person who's sober or not drinking. But what I get back in return is priceless. I get peace, energy, confidence, memories, mornings. I'm proud of self-trust. Sobriety did not make my world smaller. It expanded everything for me. And that moment in Dubai reminded me of something I wrote years ago when I first got sober. I wrote a breakup letter to alcohol because that is what it felt like. It felt like I was ending a relationship. And I wanna share something with you I actually have my journal here for my first year of sobriety, so I'm gonna read. A little excerpt from my breakup. Letter to alcohol. A lot of people talk about like doing pros and cons, which I'm a big list girly. So yeah, do a pros and cons list if you haven't done one yet, especially if you're contemplating the role alcohol is playing in your life, or whether or not you need to quit or blah, blah blah. Like, yeah, write it out. Sometimes we need to see things black and white, but this breakup letter felt less analytical and more. Emotional, like it felt cathartic to release the relationship, the tethers that I had to alcohol. So without further ado, I'm going to read you a little excerpt from this letter.

the-sober-butterfly_8_02-26-2026_071329 18:00

Dear Alcohol, We've been together a long time. You were there for celebrations, heartbreaks, awkward social events. Vacations. Tuesdays. That felt like Fridays. You were my confidence. You were my escape, my permission to relax. But you were also. My anxiety, my lost mornings, my blurry memories, my broken promises to myself. You made me feel powerful for a few hours and powerless the next day. You convinced me that I needed you to be fun, but the truth is I am fun. I was always enough. I just didn't know it yet. You cost me more than money. You cost me energy, clarity, peace, time. And I'm done paying. This isn't because I hate you, it's because I love myself more. So this is me choosing mornings over hangovers, memories over blackouts, peace over chaos, growth over comfort. This is me choosing a life. I don't want to escape from. Goodbye forever. Love me. is that not giving? It's not me. It's you energy. It's not you. Alcohol. It's me. It's me. No alcohol. It's you. It's you. Okay. It's both of us. I actually do hate alcohol. That's the amendment I'd like to make. Fast forward five years almost. Anyway, if you are questioning your relationship with alcohol Even if you're sober, you can do this today and discover what you've gained from losing alcohol. I want you to ask yourself. How much do your nights cost, financially, emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually? And then write your own breakup letter. So winding down here, I had a great time in Dubai. I'm not gonna get into all of the specifics. If you are curious to learn more of what I did, my itinerary in Dubai, I started writing on Substack guys. So you can check out like my full itinerary breakdown from Dubai, as well as more reflections, but just to culminate this experience for us and the lessons I've learned, I realized that my nights are not for sale anymore, and that might be the greatest freedom sobriety has given me. I am not for sale. I'm not for sale. Okay. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. If you want deeper reflections like this, more personal writing, travel stories, sobriety thoughts, subscribe to my substack, where I'm sharing essays around becoming and living alcohol free, and building a life. You actually want to live. And you can find the link in the show notes and subscribe there. Please remember, you deserve mornings you're proud of. Your nights are not for sale, neither are you, and I will see you next Friday. And as we close out February in the spirit of love, please do me a loving favor, and leave this show a five star review on whatever streaming platform you are listening. It really helps the show grow so more butterflies can find this podcast. I love you guys so much. Remember, you don't need alcohol to live your best life or to take your best trips. See you next Friday. Bye.