Portal Quandary

Episode 14: Portal Quandaries and Answers

November 10, 2023 Portal Quandary Season 2 Episode 14
Episode 14: Portal Quandaries and Answers
Portal Quandary
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Portal Quandary
Episode 14: Portal Quandaries and Answers
Nov 10, 2023 Season 2 Episode 14
Portal Quandary

Your quandaries are answered! Join us for a mid-season break as Tyrone and the players answer questions about their characters, themselves, and theorise about what’s in store for the second half of season 2!


Content warnings for this week’s episode include coarse language.


Find us on Instagram

Follow us on TikTok

Like us on Facebook

Follow us on Threads


Dungeon Master, Community Manager, and Editing is Tyrone Cross      

Noah is Steven Edwards

Timothy and Editing Assistant is Olive Jerome

Lucille is Rosemary Ochtman

Magnolia is Jorja Odd


Elias Moffat is our Content Producer and Narrative Consultant

Chanelle Hayden is our Transcriber   

Theme song is “Belly of The Beast” by Lily Harnath and Henry Lucas (@lilyharnath & @henrylucas5)

We’re on the lookout for someone to join the team as a Community Manager. Send us an email if that sounds like you!


Email us at portalquandary@gmail.com 


This podcast was recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people and produced on the lands of the Awabakal, and Wurundjeri people. Portal Quandary acknowledges and pays respect to our traditional custodians and to their past and present leaders. 


The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased) is intended or should be inferred.

Show Notes Transcript

Your quandaries are answered! Join us for a mid-season break as Tyrone and the players answer questions about their characters, themselves, and theorise about what’s in store for the second half of season 2!


Content warnings for this week’s episode include coarse language.


Find us on Instagram

Follow us on TikTok

Like us on Facebook

Follow us on Threads


Dungeon Master, Community Manager, and Editing is Tyrone Cross      

Noah is Steven Edwards

Timothy and Editing Assistant is Olive Jerome

Lucille is Rosemary Ochtman

Magnolia is Jorja Odd


Elias Moffat is our Content Producer and Narrative Consultant

Chanelle Hayden is our Transcriber   

Theme song is “Belly of The Beast” by Lily Harnath and Henry Lucas (@lilyharnath & @henrylucas5)

We’re on the lookout for someone to join the team as a Community Manager. Send us an email if that sounds like you!


Email us at portalquandary@gmail.com 


This podcast was recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people and produced on the lands of the Awabakal, and Wurundjeri people. Portal Quandary acknowledges and pays respect to our traditional custodians and to their past and present leaders. 


The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased) is intended or should be inferred.

Steven/Noah: Portal Quandary has some content warnings. You can check them out in the episode description.

Theme Song: *rock music plays*

Finding home in the belly of the beast, to make it home we can’t accept defeat, so roll the dice and come along with me, finding home in the belly of the beast

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Hello, and welcome to a very special episode of Portal Quandary. We’re doing a little mid-season Q&A episode where some guys from Instagram have sent us in some questions. You guys have put in some questions. I’ve put in some questions. I’ve got a big deck of cards here full of the questions, and I reckon we just go around. I’m going to pull a card, and I’ll start. Olive asks, ‘What’s everyone’s characters’ theme song?’

Jorja/Magnolia: I knew this question was coming. I was like, ‘I’ll think about it.’ I did not.

Olive/Timmit: I asked the question, and yet, one moment. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I’m going to open my Spotify real quick. 

Steven/Noah: I’m going to open my Youtube music because I’m that bitch.

Jorja/Magnolia: Cringe.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What do you mean you don’t pay the extra dollar a month now for Spotify?

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, that’s fucked right? I’m so mad. I unironically have used Spotify for so many years and got the free trial. As soon as I got the free trial of premium - stuck. I cannot go back.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nope, no way. Especially with my podcasts. My podcasts would get interrupted three times with that. Can’t have that happen.

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah. Ruin the flow.

Olive/Timmit: As part of Timmit’s in-depth therapy, his theme tune is the Maroon 5 classic: Animals

Rosie/Lucille: Nice.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I can’t think of how it goes. You’ll have to sing it for me.

Jorja/Magnolia: Not too well. No copyright.

Olive/Timmit: This is nothing that anyone wants, and I haven’t listened to that since I was fourteen, so I don’t remember.

Rosie/Lucille: Just go, nernerner!

Olive/Timmit: That’s it. That’s exactly it. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What’s everybody else got?

Jorja/Magnolia: I have a joke answer, and I’m looking for my real answer.

Rosie/Lucille: I’ve got a real answer. So, Lucille’s theme song is Burning Pile by Mother Mother.

Jorja/Magnolia: Ooo, good. Good!

*laughter*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I don’t get it.

Rosie/Lucille: Because she does just throw all her troubles at the burning flame and will just set everything on fire and let herself burn as well, and she’s still recovering from her husband leaving her because of the goat, so she is really still at that stage - which she always been on - of, ‘Fuck al this shit! I’m going to throw it on the fire!’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Holy shit.

Olive/Timmit: So, she hasn’t ever emotionally or mentally adapted or changed since her husband left?

Rosie/Lucille: Oh, well no. She’s fine. She’s never had a medical issue. It’s just that that’s always in the back of her head. 

Steven/Noah: Mental health is still medical.

Rosie/Lucille: Lucille probably doesn’t know the meaning of the word metinal [mental] health. Metinal health?

Jorja/Magnolia: She can’t even say it.

Rosie/Lucille: Metinal.

Steven/Noah: I haven’t got no metinal problems.

Jorja/Magnolia: Nothing wrong with my metinal.

Rosie/Lucille: My metinal health. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Oh god.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Did you guys find one?

Steven/Noah:Yeah, I feel like Noah needs an internal monologue, so his is Unstoppable by Sia.

Rosie/Lucille: Nice.  Is that his confidence boost song? 

Steven/Noah: Yep, that gets him energised for the day. He’s like, ‘Yeah, I am unstoppable.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Feeding the bees while he sings it. 

Steven/Noah: Of course.

Jorja/Magnolia: Magnolia’s joke answer is Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels. Her real answer is, it’s called Woodland by the Paper Kites. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I know nothing about it, but it sounds very Magnolia. 

Olive/Timmit: Very fitting.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Wait, why is the joke answer Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels?

Jorja/Magnolia: She’s in the club. That song was in Sex Education, and it started playing, and I’m like, ‘I- Uh- Malfunctioning.’

Steven/Noah: I think it was the, ‘Pussy puss, puss. Give them cunt, cunt, cunt, bitch,’ yeah. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I think it was the last- Season three? I think?

Steven/Noah: This question comes to us from Valiant Odyssey, and it is, ‘What is a character you’d like try to try?’

Jorja/Magnolia: Oh, like if we were playing a different character?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Steven/Noah: As in a character already in the campaign?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, like if you weren’t playing Noah, what else would you build maybe?

Olive/Timmit: Goblin paladin. I’ve never played a goblin, and I’ve never played a paladin before. I think the combo would be interesting.

Steven/Noah: I love the small dog energy that that would bring.

Olive/Timmit: Oh yeah.

Jorja/Magnolia: One of them white, crusty dogs?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What sort of paladin would they be?

Jorja/Magnolia: *whispering* Vengeance.

Olive/Timmit: Ooo, probably a vengeance paladin, yeah, or oathbreaker depending on the theme of the campaign.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Ooo, oath of the crown. Give an oath to Oberon.

Olive/Timmit: True.

Steven/Noah: I was going to say, I’d probably pick some sort of warlock character, and I’d probably try and make a pact with the king. Had I have known what I know now - because obviously I didn’t know a lot going into building Noah - but knowing what I know now I’d probably try and make some warlock character, and try and make a pact and get all my power from the king. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’ve come up with classes and subclasses for each of the NPCs because I have too much time on my hands, and Illumen, who you guys have met briefly, the advisor to the king - I’ve said that they’re a warlock with the pact of the archfey.

Olive/Timmit: Ooo, that’s very cool.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What about you Rosie? What sort of character would you make if you didn’t make Lucille?

Rosie/Lucille: I think I would like to make a character that is probably ten years old and a necromancer.

Jorja/Magnolia: Jesus.

Rosie/Lucille: I don’t know what race yet, but I don’t know. I kind of like elves. I think an elf would be neat. Elf, little girl, necromancer. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A ten year old elf?

Olive/Timmit: The elf prodigy necromancer.

Rosie/Lucille: Yeah, I know elves are old and stuff, but she’s young. She’s ten. I just like the looks of elves. I didn’t really think about the age. Maybe it’s not an elf. Maybe it would be something else. Anyway, necromancer ten year old. So, she’s super innocent, but she keeps bringing things back from the dead, and being like, ‘Oh my god.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That sounds like an anime character. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I would do… I think it would be fun to play a character with no magic, so I’d go monk because you’d still be very capable, but it’d just be super different, and I think I’d go with satyr because that’d be fucking cute. 

Rosie/Lucille: A satyr?

Jorja/Magnolia: The goat person.

Rosie/Lucille: Nice.

Jorja/Magnolia: And then they kick instead of punching.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do they actually?

Jorja/Magnolia: I would. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Lucille’s like, ‘Goat person? Hello?’

Rosie/Lucille: Goat?

Jorja/Magnolia: Go- Goa- Goat?

Rosie/Lucille: What about if you were a monk that’s a monkey? 

Jorja/Magnolia: There’s no monkey race.

Rosie/Lucille: Oh! No!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I think there’s something in Pathfinder is what I’m thinking about. 

Olive/Timmit: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’ve got a thing for furries. You’re playing a rabbit, and now you want to play a goat person.

Jorja/Magnolia: It’s because I’ve already played all of the generic person classes- Race I mean, and so I’m like, ‘Well let’s do something funky,’ and it’s like, ‘Oh, they’re all animals. Okay.’

Rosie/Lucille: Ooo!

Steven/Noah: I’ve just been handed a bit of paper.

Rosie/Lucille: My question is… So this question is from the favourite, and the question is; ‘Who is your favourite player?’ Yes, I did put this question in.

*laughter*

Rosie/Lucille: It’s me, I’m the favourite.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Wait, so is this question for everybody or just for me?

Rosie/Lucille: Excellent question Tyrone. I didn’t think of that when I put it in. What do we want it to be?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s your question.

Rosie/Lucille: Let’s go with Tyrone’s answer. Go on DM. Who’s your favourite?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This is a trap. Well, if I don’t answer Rosie then it’s not from the favourite, is it?

Olive/Timmit: Valid point.

Jorja/Magnolia: Steven has been eyeing you since it was asked.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes, if I don’t answer Steve then I think I might be sleeping on the couch for a while. 

Steven/Noah: Answer honestly.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: If I don’t answer Jorja I might have to find a new place to live. I don’t know what Olive’s got against me.

Olive/Timmit: Hi. 

Rosie/Lucille: He’ll just hit you.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: If I don’t answer Olive, he’ll stop editing for me.

Jorja/Magnolia: Quite the predicament. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Interesting that it says player as well. It doesn’t say character. It says player.

Rosie/Lucille: Yeah, this is personal. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fine then. You know what? I’m going to answer Olive. Coming from an editing point of view, Olive has a really nice radio voice that’s really nice to edit.

Rosie/Lucille: I can see that.

Olive/Timmit: Thank you very much. I appreciate it. 

Rosie/Lucille: There goes that radio voice again. 

Olive/Timmit: Here it comes.

Rosie/Lucille: Actually, you totally could be a radio person. 

Olive/Timmit: Oh man, I could but…

Jorja/Magnolia: On six point six FM.

Rosie/Lucille: Actually, I’ve seen some advertised. I’ll send them to you, yeah. Go on, apply.

Olive/Timmit: Okay, cool. Done. This question is from The Thorne Files Podcast.  ‘Are there any other tabletop roleplaying games you’d ever be interested in playing? What are they?’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Rosie’s like, ‘No, I don’t know any.’

Rosie/Lucille: I didn’t even know what TTRGP… GP? PG?

Jorja/Magnolia: TTRPG. 

Rosie/Lucille: That one was.

Olive/Timmit: I can’t think of any off the top of my head. I’ve got to Google.

Jorja/Magnolia: I have played, it’s like a cyberpunk adaption of D&D where it uses a d6 system. That was quite fun. I think if you have the right group you can always find a game that is suited or not suited, and it’s just fun either way, so I mean I’d play anything once. 

Rosie/Lucille: But not twice.

Jorja/Magnolia: Well, not if it’s bad. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Well what did you guys all think of The Quiet Year? Join our Patreon for our Quiet Year. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I really liked the systems of it. The randomness and the… I was going to say little consequences, but there’s huge consequences. Like the ‘I don’t have to fully flesh out this idea right now. I can figure it out later.’ Whereas D&D is like, ‘Oh shit, we all need to plan. It’s all happening right now.’

Rosie/Lucille: I liked the cards. I liked that the cards were there to give guidance but also ruin everything you were doing.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Some of the ones that gave you a choice, and some of them were like, ‘This is the only choice.’

Jorja/Magnolia: This is happening whether you like it or not. 

Olive/Timmit: Here’s a rock, and here’s a hard place. Good luck.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I mean, I learned to play on Pathfinder before I learned to play D&D. I didn’t realise the difference between them at all. I think that’s the experience of at least a few people.

Rosie/Lucille: Isn’t Pathfinder D&D?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: From what I understand of Pathfinder, it was basically built to be a licence-free version of D&D. What I like about that is that it’s got a whole bunch more skills than what you have. It’s more customisable. So, it’s got ranks. You’ve got a certain number of points that you can put into each of your skills each level, so you can decide what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. 

Olive/Timmit: There is one that I’ve heard about. It’s called Kids on Bikes, which I think is a really interesting idea for a tabletop game because it immediately reminds me of Stranger Things. Ride around on bikes with your best pals and go adventuring and stuff. It’s sick, but also I’d love to do a cyberpunk/steampunk tabletop roleplaying game, which would be awesome. I actually did do a little homebrew cyberpunk one once. It was a lot of fun. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I looked it up. It’s called Cyberpunk Red, and then I saw there’s one called Trail to Cthulhu that I am already interested in. Haven’t read anything about it. Saw the word Cthulhu.

Steven/Noah: Yeah. I’m in. Let’s do it.

Jorja/Magnolia: Done. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’d be interested in Call of Cthulhu as well, but also there’s some problematic elements of H.P. Lovecraft.

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah.

Olive/Timmit: What’s that new one that Critical Role are doing right now? Because that looks sick as.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They’re not playing D&D?

Olive/Timmit: It’s a… No… I can’t remember what it’s called.

Jorja/Magnolia: It’s like… The ad for it is two people, and you basically roleplay in scenarios, but you get prompted something to do, and then you have to get rid of a conflict through your actions is what I got from it, but I only briefly watched the ad while also playing Minecraft.

Steven/Noah: Ah Minecraft, the best tabletop RPG.

Jorja/Magnolia: Yes. Minecraft one shot! 

Olive/Timmit: Could you imagine?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do you know any Steven?

Steven/Noah: The Cthuluhu one.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The Trail to Cthuluhu or The Call of Cthulhu?

Steven/Noah: Yes. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master I’m interested in Call of Cthulhu, but the thing is I’m not really interested in doing these unfathomable monsters.

Jorja/Magnolia: You don’t want more of us going, *slurping noises* just into the mics.

All: *slurping noises* 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No. I hate you guys. I’m also interested in Monster of the Week. I know we’ve had a little bit of a chat about it, but we’re talking about it. Me and Elias, my Content Producer. Talking about that being the next Patreon thing, so a little bit more on that later.

Steven/Noah: Nice. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I know that The Thorne Files podcast, who asked the question, they’re a Monster of the Week podcast, so I’m sure that they’d love to hear us do that.

Olive/Timmit: Thorne Files podcast, give us three likes and we’ll join you.

Rosie/Lucille: I don’t have an answer for the question because I don’t know any tabletops except for D&D.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I just remembered another one. The Avatar TTRPG that’s just come out recently.

Steven/Noah: Ooo, yes. I do really want to play that one. That would be really fun. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Ooo. Mmm, mmm, mhmm.

Rosie/Lucille: I want to play one that has roleplaying and killing some people when there is battles and stuff.

Jorja/Magnolia: The Critical Role one is called To The Last Gasp.

Olive/Timmit: I have that. 

Jorja/Magnolia: You have it?

Olive/Timmit: Ethan got it for me, but I was talking about their new game that they put up on the channel.

Jorja/Magnolia: Oh the Candle Obscura?

Olive/Timmit: Yes. Candle Obscura, but we can absolutely play that. I’ll bring it in.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Bring it in sometime. Let’s have a look.

Jorja/Magnolia: Okay, this one comes from the lovely Elias. Hi Elias. ‘Do you have any theories about story stuff yet to be unveiled?’

Olive/Timmit: Timmit’s got mad theories. He thinks everyone’s out… There’s something going on. He’s super sus. He’s going to get down to it, to the bottom of it. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What’s he suspicious about?

Olive/Timmit: He’ll crack the case. Don’t you worry. 

Jorja/Magnolia: He’s suspicious of Noah, Magnolia, and Cleary.

Rosie/Lucille: Wait, not Lucille?

Jorja/Magnolia: You are very up front about what you are.

Steven/Noah: Everything is face value. 

Olive/Timmit: We know exactly what we’re getting. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I think Magnolia has very openly been trying to figure it out, and so has Jorja. I’m trying to figure out why there’s no magic. In my head I’m like, ‘Well the other fairies are here somewhere, or have something poisoning it. They’re doing something stupid,’ but that’s as far as she’s gotten. She’s trying to figure out the reeds most of all.

Steven/Noah: Yeah, Noah’s not really trying to figure anything out. He just wants to build things. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I can make little robots here and I’ll do it.

Steven/Noah: Yeah, yeah. I’m getting what I want. I’m building robots.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s Noah, but what about you?

Steven/Noah: Yeah, I’ve got nothing. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Have you got any theories Rosie?

Rosie/Lucille: I think that all of Lucille’s dreams of a goat farm are going to come true, and that by saying this here, it’s going to happen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You think that’s theories about story stuff yet to be unveiled?

Rosie/Lucille: Yes, I like to think so, but no, okay. Actually… you see the problem is Lucille hasn’t been thinking about any of this, therefore I haven’t been thinking about the story so much  except for my little goals for goatsies, but I do think that someone in the city who we’ve been told we can trust is going to turn out to be a double crosser or something like that, and is actually going out and doing evil things for the fairies, like setting them back. Then they’re trying to get away from the things and stuff there, and sabotaging. That’s what I reckon.

Olive/Timmit: Well, you know, Jorja and Rosie are still in the city somewhere. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Yes we are. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: If you don’t know who Jorja and Rosie are, listen to our Patreon. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I’m super worried that Kyros is not good, or he’s been moved somewhere where he’s like, ‘I might just stay here,’ or ‘This was exactly to plan,’ and we’re all being fooled, but there’s no merit to that. I just think it would be funny.

Rosie/Lucille: What if we were all just pawns in Kyros’s little game, like he’s watching us going, ‘Tee hee hee.’

Jorja/Magnolia: See, you get it.

Rosie/Lucille: Yeah.

Olive/Timmit: There’s something going on. I’m tossing up whether or not it’s a single person that’s moved these events in motion, or if it’s a group of people that are wanting something to occur on either side, or I don’t know yet, but I’ll keep working on it. I’m still super sus of Cleary. I don’t think I ever won’t be. Look, people can be hot and untrustworthy.

Jorja/Magnolia: No, it’s one or the other.

Rosie/Lucille: Never trust hot people.

Steven/Noah: Damn.

Rosie/Lucille: Thought. I’ve figured it out. It’s the king. The king is evil because he was far too forgiving of Lucille for all of the horrendous things that she did, like the goats and all that. He was just far too forgiving, and that’s sus, and he’s giving Lucille too much time for who she is, so I feel like he’s got a secret agenda now. Now that I’m thinking about it.

Olive/Timmit: And that secret agenda isn’t just wanting to spend time with Lucille?

Rosie/Lucille: No! 

*laughter*

Rosie/Lucille: Although, he does kind of believe she’s all nice because she deceived him, so maybe.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Noting now that anyone who has listened to season one that these guys have not listened to season one at all, so they have no idea about the extended universe.

Steven/Noah: No, I do not.

Jorja/Magnolia: I’m a method actor. I’m not allowed to have that information. 

Steven/Noah: I am a little bit curious to see what was so bad about The Summer Court and why they were banished, so perhaps The Winter Court did it out of necessity. Maybe The Summer Court were doing something that they shouldn’t have been. I don’t know, like drugged up and in dancing ceremonies, that’s pretty…

Olive/Timmit: I don’t know, that sounds like the norm to me.

Steven/Noah: I don’t know, Winter seems very cold and calculated, so I’m wondering if maybe The Summer Court were a little bit wild. They were like, ‘Get the fuck out of here.’

Rosie/Lucille: It’s making me think of Midsommar. Like that type of thing.

Steven/Noah: Happy midsommar. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Valiant Odyssey asks: ‘If your character had to kiss/marry/kill three NPCs of your choice, who would they be?’ No Jorja, you can’t kiss and marry Cleary.

Jorja/Magnolia: But when we marry, we’re going to kiss. 

*laughter*

Steven/Noah: There will be smooches.

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah.

Steven/Noah: So, I may or may not have already heard this question, so I was already thinking about it. I think Noah would want to kiss Cleary, but he’s going to marry the king for power, and he would kill… I think we decided… No, it was Onyx? I think it was Onyx because he has control over the armoury, and Noah thinks that he would would have better control over the armoury if he did it instead, so that’s Noah’s options, but also Cleary’s really kissable, but she’s not as powerful as the king, so we’re going to marry the king.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I kill Onyx because he was mad at me and he yelled at me.

Jorja/Magnolia: He yelled at me, so I kill him. 

*laughter*

Steven/Noah: He’s got Beeyonce to kill him.

Rosie/Lucille: Lucille would one hundred percent marry the king. She would kiss Goaty.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re not helping the allegations.

Rosie/Lucille: No, it’s just a little head kiss. Like a little smooch. Like ‘Mwa.’

Jorja/Magnolia: We know what a kiss is.

*laughter*

Rosie/Lucille: No, but it’s not like a kiss kiss. It’s just a little, ‘Mwa.’ You know, like a little smoochies.

Olive/Timmit: It’s time to move on. 

Rosie/Lucille: Okay, and she would kill Kyros because he always seems to be causing problems, like there’s always so much drama with him. Just get rid of him.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’ve literally never met the man.

Rosie/Lucille: Yeah, exactly! And all of this is because of him. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fair.

Rosie/Lucille: He took me away from my goats. 

Olive/Timmit: Marry Thaumus. Kiss the king. Kill Cleary.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Ooo, this is in character to be fair. 

Olive/Timmit: Yes, Timmit would absolutely go in that order. 

Rosie/Lucille: I would like to go on record: Rosie wouldn’t kiss a goat. Lucille would.

*laughter*

Olive/Timmit: You’re telling me a goat comes up in here, you’re not giving it a little head smooch?

Rosie/Lucille: I’ll give it a little head scritch, but not a head smooch. Goat’s dirty. Who knows where that goat has been. I’ve seen what they eat.

Steven/Noah: Jorja.

Jorja/Magnolia: Can you describe Parav to me again?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Let me pull up a picture for you. He’s the rogue, so he’s got black moth wings with white dipped at the end. He’s got a face - what do you call it? - scowl. The little face wrap thing.

Steven/Noah: He’s covid-safe. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He is covid-safe. I made everybody in Hero Forge.

Jorja/Magnolia: Hero Forge is so fun. It’s addictive. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Jorja/Magnolia: It has been decided. She would kiss Parav, marry Cleary, kill the king. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Kill the king!? Down with the monarchy.

Jorja/Magnolia: Eat the rich.

Steven/Noah: He’s just going to be replaced by another Oberon. We know this. 

Jorja/Magnolia: He hasn’t got any heirs. I need to do it before Lucille bears an heir. 

Olive/Timmit: Or at least marries in. 

Maybe I’ll get the king drunk. Get him to sign over the rights to something. 

Jorja/Magnolia: And then I kill him, and we rule together. 

Rosie/Lucille: Yeah.

Jorja/Magnolia: See? It was all planned from the start. 

Steven/Noah: As long as Noah gets to make robots he’ll be on board. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Oh yeah, yeah. Noah is our defence master. 

Rosie/Lucille: Timmit’s our lawyer.

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah.

Olive/Timmit: Done.

Jorja/Magnolia: Ah, no. They didn’t kill the king. What are you talking about?

Olive/Timmit: Never happened.

Rosie/Lucille: Yes, they went in there with knives and they came out bloodied and the king was dead, but we don’t know what happened in that room. 

Olive/Timmit: Just keep me on hand next to you at all times, so that if you do slip up, like, ‘Oh yeah, I did murder the king.’ Gift of Gab. Everyone forget.

Jorja/Magnolia: We have a rock from Noah that just says, ‘No, they didn’t do it.’

Steven/Noah: I rest my case. This one sort of strings into the last question. I feel like I already know the answer, but ‘Who’s everybody’s favourite NPC?’ This question comes from Elias. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Cleary.

Steven/Noah: Wow.

Jorja/Magnolia: Shocked.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Surprised.

Steven/Noah: I think I’d probably say Cleary as well.

Rosie/Lucille: I feel like it’s probably between Goaty and the king. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Goaty, who has shown up in half an episode.

Steven/Noah: Does Goaty count as an NPC?

Rosie/Lucille: Technically.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I think he’s a PC because you control him. I don’t control him.

Rosie/Lucille: Kind of. I think he’s the in between, which is why I’ve given two answers.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And who’s the other one?

Rosie/Lucille: The king. Of course.

Olive/Timmit: Thaumus is pretty cool, but also the goats that saved us. They are just the… They hold a special place in my heart forever.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Is it the voice?

Olive/Timmit: One hundred percent.

Rosie/Lucille: Go on, give us the voice again. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No. 

*laughter*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, Cleary’s got two votes. One for the king. One for the goats. 

Olive/Timmit: We should make a poll.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: We could make a poll.

Rosie/Lucille: What kind of pole? What’s it going to hold up? Is it going to be a metal pole, or a wooden pole, or-

Jorja/Magnolia: No, it’s a may pole. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Rosie, you’ve been handed a card. 

Rosie/Lucille: Ooo, so we’ve been asked, ‘Out of the six biomes, which does your character relate to the most?’ Refresh my brain on all six.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: For sure. Who asked that?

Rosie/Lucille: Tyrone, our lovely DM.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, in the order that you’ve been to: Glamos is the magic one. It amplifies magic. It’s all reeds. Pretty useless. Neptis is water. It’s the swamp. You’ve got Theran. It’s the desert. It’s earth. You’ve got Novis., the barren wasteland with the mines underneath. That’s Novis - fire. Avos is all in the clouds. That’s air, and Exanimus: antimagic. It’s a very metalscape.

Steven/Noah: Noah hasn’t seen Exanimus yet, but I feel like he’s going to like it. He’s going to be a bit sad by the lack of magic because, I mean, Beeyonce’s going to immediately die, but I think he’s going to like metal, I think.

Jorja/Magnolia: The materials.

Steven/Noah: Yeah, it’s going to be very cold and calculated and lifeless.

Jorja/Magnolia: I think for Magnolia, it’s Neptis because she can be a little messy, but there’s still a lot of beauty there and flowers and pretty and, you know, it’s nice to look at. It’s not on fire.

Steven/Noah: Valid.

Olive/Timmit: Speaking of… Novis for Timmit for sure.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Olive/Timmit: What more needs to be said? He’s fire. It’s fire. They’re made for each other. He took on a full dragon’s breath and lived. That was sick.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That was pretty gnarly.

Jorja/Magnolia: It was alright.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It was alright?

Rosie/Lucille: The - I’ve forgotten the name already. I’m so bad with names.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Which?

Rosie/Lucille: The swampy one,

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Neptis.

Rosie/Lucille: Neptis, yeah. Definitely Neptis, yeah, because it’s all swampy, and goats can live in swamps, and the goat farm has swamp on it too, so, you know, it’s pretty homey. Swamp means water for goats too.

Jorja/Magnolia: We will rule from Neptis with an iron fist. 

Steven/Noah: Yeah, fuck Theran.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oof. That’s very interesting because I’ve been associating you guys with different stuff. Noah - Exanimus, yes. Magnolia - Neptis, yes. Timmit - Novis, yes, but also Theran I think.

Olive/Timmit: Ah, yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And Rosie is Avos. To be fair, the other that would make the mix is Novis, which would be Hymnbo.

Steven/Noah: He never got to Novis.

Olive/Timmit: Maybe he did in some strange way. 

Steven/Noah: Maybe.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Especially with what Jorja was saying before not on recording about Novis being charisma based, which would have been Hymnbo the bard. I think I saw what it was.

Olive/Timmit: Aww, this is Jorja’s question. I hate that I’m reading this. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I love it. 

Olive/Timmit: ‘My question is for the handsome Olive. If Timmit was a class other than wizard, what class would he be?’ Stop.

Jorja/Magnolia: No.

Olive/Timmit: I’m trying to remember because I was going to go with something initially, and then I decided to go wizard instead because I'd been messing around with wizards. Insane. I really can’t remember what it was that I was going to set up. Do you remember?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah. There was a couple, but the one before wizard was warlock.

Olive/Timmit: Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I was trying to push you towards pact of the genie to go with the elemental stuff. 

Olive/Timmit: I decided to go against warlock because I was already playing a warlock.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I think you talked about ranger first as well.

Olive/Timmit: I did. I was going to go with ranger actually. Yes, I would say that if he wasn’t a wizard Timmit would have ended up being a ranger.

Steven/Noah: I feel like our party really needed a ranger.

Jorja/Magnolia: I was also going to be a ranger.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s cute. I know that it was only asked for Olive, but it would be interesting to open that up for the rest of the table as well. About what class you’d be if you were not.

Olive/Timmit: One hundred percent. 

Steven/Noah: I mean, I feel like I already answered this question, but yeah, a warlock with a pact with the king, but, as I said, that’s only because of what I know now. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I have a bad habit of only playing druids or clerics.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Jorja runs our Threads by the way. If you’ve seen out Threads, it’s all just druid propaganda.

Jorja/Magnolia: Druid hype. Hell yeah, druids are the best. They are. They’re so overpowered. Holy shit. I feel like I considered going cleric because healer. I also considered going ranger because nature is fun, and also I want to do ranger justice because everyone’s like, ‘It’s the worst one.’ It’s not though. Like gloom stalker is incredible.  Yeah, it’d be one of those two. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes.

Rosie/Lucille: I reckon a sorcerer would be cool for Newcille. Newcille? Yeah, if Lucille was a warlock, she would be Newcille.

Steven/Noah: Warlock or sorcerer?

Rosie/Lucille: Sorcerer. I was tossing up between the two in my head. I meant sorcerer. Sorcerer not warlock. She could do cool little spells.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I can see that. Especially because you went into the arcane trickster subclass. 

Rosie/Lucille: Just dipping my toes in.

Steven/Noah: Good question Jorja.

Jorja/Magnolia: Thank you. It’s very accurate. Especially the handsome part.

Steven/Noah: Yeah.

Olive/Timmit: *bashful noises*

Steven/Noah: Aww, he’s gone all red. 

Jorja/Magnolia: This is my favourite thing to do. Ooo, another one from Elias. Ooo, I love this. Well done Elias. ‘What D&D class do each of the players and Tyrone think you are in real life or would it be in a fantasy world?’ See, I have talked about this with other people I’ve played with. Like, ‘What would you be. What would I be?’ I think I would be druid and that’s why I love it so much because I love plants and animals and nature. Yeah, and I think I have a lot of wisdom for a twenty-four year old, and I’m often the one giving advice and helping, and Jacob has often said that, ‘Oh yeah, you’ve got a very kind heart,’ and I was like, ‘That’s druid to me.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Naw.

Steven/Noah: I think in the real world - and this is going to sound really conceited - I think I’m really talented. Like, I can pick up things really easily, so I think I’m a warlock. Sorry, not a warlock. A sorcerer. I think I’m a sorcerer because I’m lazy. So, I think the skills that I have are very innate. I do not develop them, so they’re okay. So, I think that I have a wide array of skills, but I don’t develop any of them.

Olive/Timmit: Were you that kid that would go into exams without studying and get eighty percent.

Steven/Noah: One hundred percent.

Olive/Timmit: I hate all beings that are like you.

Steven/Noah: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, we are the worst.

Jorja/Magnolia: I do that too. 

Steven/Noah: So, like whenever I pick up a new game I’d know how to do it. That sort of thing. I can pick things up very easily, but I don’t spend any time on them, so I’m not a wizard, but I’m definitely a warlock- Oh my god, I keep saying warlock!

Rosie/Lucille: See? It’s easy.

Jorja/Magnolia: Indication. 

Steven/Noah: Sorcerer. Yeah. A sorcerer because I think that I would not develop those skills into anything useful. It would just be what I am innately.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I agree with what you’re saying, but also I think you’re an artificer because you picked it because you are an artificer because you work as a scientist. As does Noah, and you literally code and tech shit in your spare time, so it’s very building things in your spare time. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Not you modding the Pokemon game before every session. Just code-running constantly. 

Steven/Noah: But I’m developing it from scratch. I’m just reading someone else and reinterpreting it, so…

Jorja/Magnolia: Very sorcerer of you.

Rosie/Lucille: Okay, with my limited knowledge of D&D classes, I think that I would be, in real-like, a druid as well because I really like pretty flowers, and I like pretty vines and pretty moss because I would just sit there and stroke moss for ages because it’s very cool. And I like animals, and I would like to have lots of little animal friends. I think a druid would be pretty cool.

Jorja/Magnolia: I would like to point out that Jacob and I have talked about what we think everybody else would be, and for you I was like, ‘I think like druid or maybe…’ and we both just looked at each other. ‘Wild magic sorcerer.’

Rosie/Lucille: Heck yeah. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Jorja/Magnolia: Because you are chaos incarnate. 

Rosie/Lucille: Actually, wild magic sorcerer. That sounds cool. I’d do that.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Back to the other question, I was trying to push you towards a wild magic sorcerer when you were deciding on Lucille.

Rosie/Lucille: Maybe next time I’ll be a wild magic sorcerer as a ten year old girl instead of a necromancer.

Steven/Noah: For some reason, a ten year old wild mage sounds scarier than a ten year old necromancer.

Rosie/Lucille: It probably is yeah because instead of bringing things back from the dead I’m killing.

Olive/Timmit: More accurate though.

Steven/Noah: Well, yeah. It’d be a temper tantrum and destroy a village.

Jorja/Magnolia: Ooo, yeah. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What about you Olive?

Olive/Timmit: That’s actually a really good question because I ran a campaign with some friends from highschool, and we actually developed character of ourselves, so the base questions was, ‘What do you think you would be if you were a character?’ and the way that it was modelled was - because I was running the campaign - myself was the head NPC that you would go to for everything, and when I was building it up I had to ask myself that too. I was like, ‘I’d be a barbarian for sure’, and then I one hundred percent would fall into a pact and become a warlock.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re a little cranky?

Olive/Timmit: I am a little cranky, and I would want to be all mighty and learning and powerful, so yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: At least they’re honest.

Steven/Noah: I love the comparison of, ‘Yeah, I want power grab and I’d make a pact to do it.’ Whereas I’m like, ‘I’m complacent.’ 

Jorja/Magnolia: Rosie and I are just like, ‘Ooo, flower.’

Rosie/Lucille: Pretty, pretty. 

Steven/Noah: I can do a little bit. That’s enough.

Jorja/Magnolia: I’m going to talk to this goat. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I remembered what answer I’d pick because I did the same thing that you were just talking about. I played an urban fantasy game with Elias - the content producer - running it, and the other guys played kind of fantasy ish characters, and I was like, ‘Nope. I’m going to make me. I’m going to be me in a fantasy scenario.’ So, I was a bard of course because of my theatre experience and creating this podcast and everything. I’m the creative bitch, I guess. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I see that. I see that.

Rosie/Lucille: That’s that game where Elias made me into one of the characters and then told me this big secret, and I had thought that it has already been played, and I told Tyrone and ruined the campaign.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Rosie was like, ‘Have I already betrayed you yet?’ I was like, ‘What?’

Jorja/Magnolia: Oh. My. God. 

Rosie/Lucille: Yeah, don’t tell me secrets. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This one’s from Jorja. ‘Were there any moments that made your character change their perspective or morals’

Jorja/Magnolia: I can go first because I thought about it, obviously. For Magnolia - oh my god, what’s the dirt temple place we went to?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Theran.

Jorja/Magnolia: Theran.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Dirt temple place?

Steven/Noah: Dirt temple. 

Jorja/Magnolia: My brain just shut off.

Steven/Noah: It was an Egyptian temple.

Rosie/Lucille: You know that dirt temple?

Jorja/Magnolia: It’s like your first base in Minecraft for the first night. It’s just dirt. 

Steven/Noah: That wasn’t it though. It was a desert temple. Actually, sometimes my first house in Minecraft is a desert temple. 

Jorja/Magnolia: On the way to Theran, I think Magnolia had a realisation that, ‘Oh, we really are just in this, and the only way through it is together. She very much is the ‘I’m friends with everyone’ person, but it was getting like, ‘Oh, everyone’s getting a bit sad and not hopeful and very down in the dumps.’ Noah had heatstroke, and she lost it. ‘Where’s my little buddy?’ So, I think she was like, ‘Okay, I need to put in my all and be the emotional centre of the group and make sure that everyone is okay and happy and knows that they are doing good and we can do this.’ That’s why she kind of went feral in the fight. She was like, ‘I want to make them believe that I know what I’m doing and I can do it, so they can too.’ So, yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fuck yeah. I can see that actually, listening back. 

Steven/Noah: I guess for Noah… Does he have morals? Well he doesn’t!

Olive/Timmit: That’s a very valid question.

Steven/Noah: Right?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Science has ethics.

Steven/Noah: Not when you’re building robots. ‘Oh no, the robot died. Oh well.’ I think…

Olive/Timmit: ‘Oh, I’ve attached nine laser arms. Oh well.’

Steven/Noah: ‘Oh well.’ *laughter* Well, yeah. I genuinely feel like he’s still cold. I feel like nothing’s really happened other than the fact that he now builds robots. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Did Honey Boo Boo dying change anything inside of him?

Steven/Noah: No. He shoved the gem on a shield and was like, ‘Yep, she can protect in death too’.

Olive/Timmit: There has been no change as of yet. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s a mid-season Q&A session. We’ve got time.  

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah.

Steven/Noah: Yep, okay. Facebook status: no change.

Rosie/Lucille: A moment that changed Lucille was towards the start of the season. I can’t remember the name of the place we were at, but because she was very much like, ‘I don’t need anyone. I can do things by myself with my goats,’ and then there was the time that Magnolia first saved her, and it happened twice. Then Lucille had the moment of, ‘Oh, hang on a second. That’s kind of nice. Maybe I’m caring about people. Oh my god.’ So, yeah. That’s her moment. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Aww that’s so sweet. 

Olive/Timmit: It doesn’t help that Magnolia is not human looking. 

Rosie/Lucille: It’s true.

Olive/Timmit: So, I don’t know if you’ve just got a…

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, the way to make Lucille care about people is to give her an animal-person to care about, and then she can move up to people.

Olive/Timmit: You’ve got to meet her halfway.

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, yeah. Ease her in.

Rosie/Lucille: Baby steps. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I think probably as well for Lucille, I’m thinking about the time in the desert when she got real sad that Onyx went off at her and then she was like, ‘Aww, there’s nobody here for me.’

Rosie/Lucille: Ah yeah, that too. She’s had a few moments, or is that just me? Who knows?

Steven/Noah: I feel like Lucille has a lot of moments that change her perspective and morals.

Rosie/Lucille: Oh yeah, a voice in my head too.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You get knocked down a step. Like, your expectations are quite high, and then the king goes off at you, and you’re like, ‘Oh, oh.’

Rosie/Lucille: ‘Everything’s awful.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Timmit?

Olive/Timmit: I would have to say that it was after the tea party. The tea ceremony.

Steven/Noah: Ceremony.

Olive/Timmit: There were… Ceremony. A small, little number of events that kind of acted as a chain-link effect and sort of caused Timmit to realise, ‘These are just regular people, and we’re all kind of stuck here. Alright, I guess I’ll do everything that I can to make sure that they get home safe and sound.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Ah yeah. After the tea ceremony? Like, immediately after? Like, when you went to Cleary and lied to everybody?

Olive/Timmit: No. No, no, no. It was mostly the things… Kind of like the conversation that Magnolia had with Timmit, and Lucile getting to see her goats for the first time since being here, and then walking past and seeing Noah in CLeary’s tinkering room fast asleep on the desk. It was just those three moments of pure humanity that made Timmit realise that, ‘I’ve got to get them home.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That is really sweet now that I think about it. Yeah. 

Steven/Noah: Yeah, I forgot Noah did that. He fell asleep working at the desk. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I didn’t. It’s a picture in my mind where I’m like, ‘Oh god, he’s adorable.’

Rosie/Lucille: So cute.

Jorja/Magnolia: Why does he hate all humans? I just want to be friends. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: For Magnolia especially because everyone is small compared to you. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah. Puny humans. 

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Steven/Noah: I’ve just been handed a card. Oh my god. This question comes from Elias. ‘What is every player characters’ go-to Maccas order?’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Magnolia’s bulking.

Jorja/Magnolia: On a night out: just everything. 

Olive/Timmit: ‘I’ll take one of the McEverything.’

Steven/Noah: McEverything.

Jorja/Magnolia: McEverything McPlease.

Steven/Noah: I feel like Noah would be… I think he’s a quarter pounder kid. I think he’s just a medium quarter pounder with a coke. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah.

Steven/Noah: I don’t want to say he’s really exciting because he’s not.

Olive/Timmit: Timmit was that weird kid who’d get the filet-o-fish and a thirty cent ice cream and some chips, and-

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You dip the chips in the ice cream?

Olive/Timmit: Dip the chips in the ice cream, and then eat the filet-o-fish, and then finish the ice cream cone. 

Rosie/Lucille: Do you spread the icecream on the burger? 

Olive/Timmit: Don’t be mad. Jeez.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Filet-o-fish is not that bad guys. 

Olive/Timmit: I’ve never had it because it looks disgusting to me. The idea of Maccas fish on a burger. No thanks. I’m good. 

Rosie/Lucille: Something about it seems wrong.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I also get the seafood Subway, so…

Rosie/Lucille: Tyrone!

*laughter*

Olive/Timmit: What seafood do they do?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You know what tuna looks like? Like shredded tuna. It’s like that.

Olive/Timmit: Okay. Righto, righto. Yeah, okay. 

Rosie/Lucille: Lucille’s order from Maccas would be a black coffee.

*laughter*

Rosie/Lucille: And if she’s feeling particularly peckish, she’ll get a ham and cheese toastie.

Jorja/Magnolia: Because she’s there really early.

Rosie/Lucille: Not ham. I take it back. Tomato and cheese toastie because she doesn’t trust Maccas ham. 

Olive/Timmit: She just ordered the exact same thing my grandmother would order. 

Rosie/Lucille: Good!

Olive/Timmit: Hands down. 

Steven/Noah: She’s a McCafé gal. 

Rosie/Lucille: But she doesn’t like it. She only does it when she really needs to because she doesn’t trust Maccas. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Fair. Magnolia is a triple cheeseburger large meal with a sprite, and then a side of three nuggets with ketchup.

Olive/Timmit: Three nuggets?

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, you know when you want a little bit of a nibble after your main meal?

Rosie/Lucille: I did that exact thing the other day. Just three little nuggies with a burger. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You need six nuggies at least. 

Olive/Timmit: Yes, six nuggets. 

Rosie/Lucille: It’s just for a little snack. 

Jorja/Magnolia: She can’t eat too much unhealthy food. You’ve gotta count your macros bro. 

Olive/Timmit: Get out of it. Get out. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I just realised for our lovely international audience - some of these people asking these questions. McDonalds, and hopefully we have all the same things that you do? I think everywhere has a quarter pounder and a filet-o-fish.

Jorja/Magnolia: The golden arches.

Steven/Noah: Mickey Dees.

Olive/Timmit: Maccas. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Mickey Dees.

Olive/Timmit: Did you guys ever have the distinction or the deception of MacDonalds and McDonalds?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No.

Rosie/Lucille: No. 

Olive/Timmit: Okay, so growing up, my parents would convince me that whenever we drive past a McDonalds that it was a McDonalds, and that they only had spicy food. It wasn’t the same as a regular MacDonalds, so we couldn’t get food from there.

Rosie/Lucille: And you believed that?

Olive/Timmit: Oh, one hundred percent. I was six. I didn’t know the difference.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’ve heard of that before. There’s been parents that say, ‘We don’t have any McDonalds money.’

Jorja/Magnolia: Mmm, yeah.

Rosie/Lucille: Yeah. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I like the McDonalds that’s at Yass because there was a sign that said…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yass! 

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, there was an M in front of it, so it looked like it said, ‘My ass.’

*laughter*

Steven/Noah: Yaas!

Jorja/Magnolia: Yaas!

Rosie/Lucille: On the topic of Maccas stories, I reminded my dad of this the other day. He has no recollection of it, but the time we were driving back from camping, and we were all really hungry. We were half an hour from home, and we were like, ‘Let’s do a Maccas run!’ and he was like, ‘Alright!’ and he pulls into the driveway of Maccas just to do a U-turn and starts cackling. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Evil man!

Rosie/Lucille: I know!

Olive/Timmit: What a legend.

Rosie/Lucille: Okay, this question comes from Olive. ‘Who’s everyone’s biggest ship right now?’ As in who do you want to get together? Is that that?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, yeah.

Rosie/Lucille: Okay, for me, it has to be Lucille and the king.

Jorja/Magnolia: For me, it’s Magnolia and Cleary. 

Steven/Noah: Magnolia and Cleary, yep. 

Olive/Timmit: For me, it’s Lucille and the king. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s only two ships. No one’s voting for Timmit and Thaumus?

Olive/Timmit: I think that ship sailed a long time ago. 

Jorja/Magnolia: That ship never left the dock. 

Rosie/Lucille: Was there even a ship there.

Olive/Timmit: Just an empty harbour. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: We’ve established that you guys haven’t listened to season one, but there is also the Fiero/Blizzbro ship. That was basically all of season one. 

Rosie/Lucille: Who?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nathan’s character and an NPC called Blizzbro, who was in episode one of this season - if you guys remember listeneing to episode one.

Olive/Timmit: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He was a big fire sorcerer, and Blizzbro was an ice mage that discovered his powers. They were a big on again off again. Okay, that was nice and easy. A nice, short one.

Steven/Noah: Poor Noah, not shipped with anyone. The way he likes it. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Noah and Skittles.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What have you got for us Jorja?

Jorja/Magnolia: Okay, ‘What’s the biggest reality check you’ve gotten from podcasting your game?’ That comes from Valiant Odyssey. I feel like because I’m not super on the tech side of it until I started runninng the Threads, that I was like, ‘This is just a funny little game that I play with my friends,’ and then that one TikTok blew up, and I was like, ‘Oh, that many people have witnessed me in my house doing things. I have been perceived here,’ and I was like, ‘Okay, interesting,’ and I had a crisis about it. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Really?

Jorja/Magnolia: Not really, but a little bit like, ‘Oh, this isn’t just - I’m playing a game with my friends - people are listening to this.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yay!

Jorja/Magnolia: Yay! Thanks people. I’m scared of you.

Rosie/Lucille: What does it mean by reality check? What does it mean?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Like any shock that you’ve gotten from it it. Anything that you didn’t expect when you joined.

Rosie/Lucille: Like, in the game, or like us, people?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Us, people. 

Rosie/Lucille: Okay, I need to think.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The first one is making sure that your entire self-worth isn’t based on the amount of listeners you get. Not that I wake up every morning and check the listeners. Because my podcasting experience comes from during covid actually - back when people actually listened to podcasts because that’s all you did - I did this Peter Pan audiobook podcast, and that literally - I just looked it up then - since May, has had twenty-five thousand downloads. 

Rosie/Lucille: That’s big!

Olive/Timmit: Woah. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Woof.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, and I look at our little podcast, and we’re sitting at two hundred downloads, and I’m like-

Jorja/Magnolia: That’s so many.

Rosie/Lucille: You could put that on a résumé. You produced a podcast that had twenty-five thousand downloads. That’s so good.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It is on my résumé.

*laughter*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: But also, good audio quality is hard to get. I’m still judgy, I guess, on trying to pick up new podcasts, and I’ll not listen to it if I can’t stand the audio-quality. I really love listening to The Adventure Zone, but I’ve tried two/three times to listen to their first season when they were still getting their bearings on it, and I just can’t get through it yet, as much as I want to listen to the content.

Rosie/Lucille: I think that mine would probably be my vocal tics. Being more aware of those. Like, my habit of laughing after a sentence, or laughing into a sentence. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, talking as you laugh.

Rosie/Lucille: Talking as I laugh. Generally laughing. Laughing a bit more. Laughing here, laughing there. You know, just laughing, and now it’s making me become more aware of it at work. Like, I’ll talk to a customer, and I’ll laugh after it, and I’m like, ‘Rosie, why did you just laugh? What are you doing?’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Is it just comfort? A lot of people laugh when they’re uncomfortable.

Rosie/Lucille: I don’t know. Well, me and Billy - my younger Billy p- we both do it, and I’ve noticed my older brother does it too, and I think it’s because mum does it, and now it’s all of ours’ little vocal tics where we’ll throw in a little laugh here and there, but I’ve realised it doesn’t work great for podcasts. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It can work fine. Like, I’ve listened to Girls Who Don’t D&D, and they laugh quite a bit. I’m like, ‘You can do it good because of the way that they record. They’ve got the equipment for it, I think. I think because it’s just me and five microphones and our laptops that it doesn’t go great.

Rosie/Lucille: What do you mean? It’s the perfect set up. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: We should get those boom mics that attach to the wall or whatever and come down.

Olive/Timmit: That would be good. 

Rosie/Lucille: Yeah, with all that budget. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes, from our Patreon.

Jorja/Magnolia: I’ll start working at EB Games again because they sold boom arms. Just so that I can get the discount.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Steven/Noah: I guess, for me, it was learning to deal with a microphone because I don’t do anything like this at all in my day-to-day. Like, right now I’m speaking into it. Do I need to go all the way in, or should I come back a bit? Just, all of that stuff I don’t know about, so I’m doing my best.

Jorja/Magnolia: You’re doing so good. I had the same thing though where I was like, ‘I’ve played games online so I have a microphone very similar to this that I talk into, but as soon as a microphone comes out, I’m like - ooo, scary. I don’t know what I’m doing.

Steven/Noah: Even just the extra content like the TikToks and stuff. I think having a microphone I’m not as scared of. I’m not scared of a microphone,. I’m scared of a camera, so when you’re like, ‘Ad-lib this thing,’ I’m like, ‘Yep, I can do that. That’s fine,’ but as soon as my face is there my brain goes to mush. I’ve lost everything.

Olive/Timmit: I think going on from that point, it was a lot of… Having played D&D for a while, it was an entirely different atmosphere doing this because you need to be a lot more aware of the other players and the DM as well, and when someone is talking it’s not like, ‘Oh, you can have an offshoot conversation with someone about a character thing.’ It’s like, ‘No, now’s the time to be quiet,’ and then trying to fit those moments that I really enjoy about D&D into this as well, while also trying to maintain a timeframe for recording too, but I think one of the biggest struggles was because I hopped on as part of the production side of it first and then I started here, it was realising that I can’t do both, so it was that conversation that I had with you where I don’t want to go to the production meetings anymore because I don’t want anything to be spoiled for me for anything further, but yeah, that balance.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I mean, it’s worked out in the end. It’s sort of been alright.

Olive/Timmit: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A few rapid fire things that I just thought of: none of you guys like to listen to the sound of your own voice. You never like to listen back to the recording. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, I’m cringe. 

Olive/Timmit: Yeah, I refuse to edit my own recordings. No thanks. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I listen to my own voice just fine now. I’ve gotten used to it.

Rosie/Lucille: It’s weird. If it’s an audition video where it’s a video of me doing something, I’m fine with my voice, but if it’s just a recording thing, and I’m listening to it, that’s where I’m like, ‘Oh god.’

Jorja/Magnolia: I just have deep-seeded self-loathing issues. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Mood.

Jorja/Magnolia: Like, ‘Why would I say that? That was so dumb.’

Rosie/Lucille: I try not to think about what I say in this. 

Jorja/Magnolia: It shows.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Something else I’ve noticed is when I’m playing other games that aren’t recorded now - because I played a one-shot with a couple of you guys - and then I was playing, and I was playing like, ‘I’ve got to wait for my turn to talk,’ and I was like, ‘No Tyrone, you won’t get to say fucking anything if you wait for your turn to talk.’

Jorja/Magnolia: Especially with me and Olive. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And also briefly what Olive touched on about how it has to fit in an episode. The way that I have to craft my story is that it can’t be that. Especially fight encounters. I can’t make it go over ninety minutes because a ninety minute recording makes an hour content, so I can’t make something too hard otherwise we’re going to sit there for five hours, or, you know, it needs to have that narrative arc to it. I can’t just record a bulk of stuff and hope it makes a thing. I’ve got to make sure it’s interesting. I’ve got to have a start, middle, and an end to every episode. 

Olive/Timmit: Yeah.

Rosie/Lucille: Oh, I just realised another super hard thing. For me personally - I don’t know about you guys - but it’s really hard when other people are talking, and then they say something that you could make a really funny pun out of, and you want to interrupt and do the really funny pun, but you have to hold back and you can’t do it. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I’ve watched you struggle with that. I’ll think of a pun, and I’ll look to Rosie, and she’s like, ‘I want to say it so bad.’

Rosie/Lucille: Oh, it’s a struggle. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I feel bad because I’ve gotten used to them, and sometimes I just ignore them. I’m like, ‘And anyway.’

Olive/Timmit: We should do a mash-up on Patreon of all the puns we’ve made. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I have a question from me. It kind of continues on from before I guess. But, ‘Do you have any ideas, hopes, or thoughts about a season three plot?’

Rosie/Lucille: I’d like it if we all started a little commune just outside of the fairies’ walls.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re not allowed inside the walls. Outside. 

Rosie/Lucille: Well, I mean, maybe that’s why it’s outside. Maybe we just like being outside. You’ll never know. I mean, you will. You’re the DM, but…

Jorja/Magnolia: Hey, can we not do that?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’ll keep it in mind. 

Rosie/Lucille: I like the idea of it being a little goat farm, and we all live there on a commune, and we’re all going to start a society.

Jorja/Magnolia: I don’t know about season three, but I know Olive and I have talked about this, where we would love - maybe Patreon, maybe just an off season thing - where we all get to do a one-shot for everyone else. Like, I would do one, then Olive would do one, then Rosie would do one, Steven would do one. I think it would be fun.

Rosie/Lucille: As in I would DM?

Jorja/Magnolia: You DM. Yours is the one I’d be most excited for. 

Rosie/Lucille: I’m so scared. I don’t know what I’m doing. 

Steven/Noah: I would like to not go directly after Rosie’s campaign.

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, we do Rosie at the end. 

Steven/Noah: Okay, good because I don’t want to have to spend my whole campaign fixing things. 

Rosie/Lucille: If I am DM, I will destroy everything. I’d be ruthless.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’ve had a few thoughts about that because I listen to Dungeons and Daddies and they’ve had the off season between seasons where they played dogs and one cat, and they had someone else DM for that, and I’ve thought about it, but I don’t know if I could let my brain let someone else have control in the same universe. 

Olive/Timmit: I think it would need to be a different universe for sure. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah. Completely separate. 

Olive/Timmit: Because, yeah, it’s your world.

Rosie/Lucille: It’s your little baby.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It feels a little selfish, but at the same time I’m like, ‘No, but it’s mine.’

Jorja/Magnolia: No, I absolutely wouldn’t want it to be in the same world. I would want to do something separate, maybe themed even.

Rosie/Lucille: You’d all visit the goat farm. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Kill the goats.

Olive/Timmit: We all play as different types of goats.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That could be a fun way to try lots of different TTRPGs. We all get to run a different one. Like, ‘This is what I brought to the table.’

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, I’ve got no idea for season three.

Steven/Noah: I was going to say the question at hand. I feel like - let’s assume that it was a success and we all got home - assumedly the fairies would also get to go home, so I’d be intrigued to see the Summer and Winter Court war that’s probably going to happen.

Jorja/Magnolia: Ooo, yeah.

Olive/Timmit: That’s a phenomenal idea.

Steven/Noah: I’m assuming it’s not going to be a peaceful return. 

Olive/Timmit: Oh, no, no. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Season three is: we abandon the characters we have now, start new characters that are part of the Summer or Winter Court, and we have to either help figure it out or survive through it.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The fairy war.

Olive/Timmit: I love that.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Anything for you?

Olive/Timmit: No. That. I want that.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Interesting. 

Steven/Noah: For me? This is from you. Tyrone. ‘What’s your theories about how the campaign will conclude?’

Jorja/Magnolia: Well, I’ve just now thought of one. It’s that our characters don’t actually get to go home. We accidentally teleport with the fairies back, and then we have to fucking figure that out for them too because we do everything for them.

Steven/Noah: I agree. I think it will be accidentally. I feel like our characters will be like, ‘But we don’t want to go home. We want to stay where we have magic.’

Olive/Timmit: Sure. ‘accidentally.’ Yeah, I don’t think we’re collecting the souls-

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Souls!?

Olive/Timmit: The essences, rather. Sorry. 

Steven/Noah: The souls of the innocent. 

Olive/Timmit: No, I don’t think we’re collecting the essences for ourselves to get home. I think we’re absolutely doing a massive fetch quest for these fairies, and they’re going to absolutely… That would be a really interesting twist though. If we teleport there, and they’re like, ‘Cool, thanks for that. Now, go sit in that jail cell over there.’ ‘Ah!’

Steven/Noah: I feel like it’s going to be a bus stop along the way. Like, they’ll be going to their place and they’ll stop at us. Like, let us off and then continue, but whether we actually leave… I don’t know. Lucille’s not going to leave.

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, Lucille’s absolutely not going to leave. She’s staying for as long as she can.

Steven/Noah: She’s going to stop at Earth and pick up her goats and then go.

Olive/Timmit: Yeah.

Rosie/Lucille: Pretty much. With the endorsement from the king if all goes to plan.

Olive/Timmit: I think Timmit would leave.

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, fuck Timmit. No, I’m kidding. 

Rosie/Lucille: Okay, I think that the ending will be that you all want to leave. Lucille has become attached to everyone, so she’s going to try and hold you captive on her goat farm in fairyland. 

Steven/Noah: Fairyland. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Assuming you do all get back because Jorja just raised the thing that maybe you don’t go back.

Steven/Noah: Jeez, that was ominous. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Like, do you come back and it’s like a Narnia situation, or I don’t know what you think?

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, we don’t know if time has passed, or if we’ll just end up in the spot we were taken from. We don’t know if other people have been affected by a potential switcheroo, so there’s a chance that there is magic in our normal world. There’s also a chance that it’s all gone because it’s been years and years and years.

Rosie/Lucille: Do you think that my goats would have kept mating? Kept the goats going, or do you reckon they’re all dead?

Steven/Noah: You can see them through a mirror.

Rosie/Lucille: Oh yeah, yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, spanner in the works. You can see your goats.

Rosie/Lucille: Oh yeah. Yeah, we’re fine. Everything’s perfectly normal and fine. 

Olive/Timmit: I think time would pass either slightly slower or just as normally. 

Jorja/Magnolia: You don’t know that.

Olive/Timmit: That’s what I’m saying, I think.

Steven/Noah: But then time might be going simultaneously, but when we get into a portal, what happens to time then? 

Olive/Timmit: True.

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: How long are you in the portal?

Steven/Noah: Like, are they able to transport us to the time and place in which we left, or by going through the portal, is time automatically accelerated? In which case, it’s no longer the world we remember.

Jorja/Magnolia: Because we don’t know how much time has fallen between falling and getting there. We know the goats are alive. It could be Sparky the third though.

Rosie/Lucille: It had the same spot on its ear.

Jorja/Magnolia: Okay. Genetics.

Steven/Noah: Yeah, hereditary. 

*laughter*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Interesting.

Jorja/Magnolia: Ty doesn’t actually have ideas for next season. He’s like, ‘Tell me what to do. Tell me what to do.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I have ideas, but also there’s also room to adjust based on the decisions you make. Final question Rosie.

Jorja/Magnolia: Of course it goes to the favourite.  

Rosie/Lucille: That’s me.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Golden child.

Rosie/Lucille: So, this question is from Potions and Potpourri. They have asked, ‘What inspired you to start your show, and was it difficult?’

Jorja/Magnolia: What a cute last question. 

Steven/Noah: That’s over to you, daddy DM. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Heck. I guess, talking back about covid times and my experience with podcasts then, that’s when I started listening to podcasts for the first time - when I started making them - and so I started listening to Dungeons and Daddies as I was talking about, and as I was listening I was like, ‘You know what? I could do this. That sounds very fucking bold of me, doesn’t it?’

Rosie/Lucille: No, you can do it. You go. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, and that’s when I had the culture shock that we were talking about before of how hard it is to get good audio, and then I met up with Elias. I make a lot of things with Elias, the Content Producer, and with Olive here. Trying to figure it out. We had a lot of barriers. 

Olive/Timmit: There was a lot of back and forth in the beginning, but it got built up.

Steven/Noah: Quarrels and bickering. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, originally Olive was actually going to DM when we had been talking about it, and then we had sort of agreed on a concept together, about it being the isekai. 

Olive/Timmit: I was hella depressed. It was the last thing that I wanted to do. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, no, that’s fair. It was just organisational… Like, time wise, How much time you can commit and stuff. So, I had a whole character made that I want to play in my own little thing some time. I planned an Elven cleric of the grave domain. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Ooo, fun.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: His whole thing was going to be that he was an Elf that lives forever, but he had a partner that would perish eventually. 

Rosie/Lucille: Maybe I’ll DM the next season, and you can play that character. Go on.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Cheers. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Go on. She won’t do anything weird. 

Rosie/Lucille: No, I’ll stick to what you and Elias come up with. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So Elias he studies a… almost completed a Bachelor of Media and Communications, and he wants to be a writer, so he came up with this whole concept about the fay. So, the fay have been a thing in both season one and season two. They seem to know a lot about it. I honestly don’t know as much. I know there’s the Seelie Court and something else, which basically translates roughly to The Winter and Summer Courts as actual folklore.

Olive/Timmit: I can’t say I’m too knowledgeable myself.

Jorja/Magnolia: I think there’s an Unseelie Court as well. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, I think that’s literally what it is, isn’t it?

Jorja/Magnolia: I think think there’s a Critical Role… It might be the calamity one where they sort of dive into it. 

Olive/Timmit: EXU?

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’ve just Googled it, and it says, ‘Seelie are like the popular, mean girls, while Unseelie are the punk kids who don’t care about the rules.’

Jorja/Magnolia: Fuck yeah! I’m Unseelie.

Steven/Noah: So, which ones are our Summer, and which ones are our Winter?

Jorja/Magnolia: Winter is Unseelie.

Olive/Timmit: What if the fairies we’re with right now are lying about which court they are?

Jorja/Magnolia: We don’t know. 

Rosie/Lucille: Why don’t we just ask them, but we’ll ask them with doing a roll of a thing that makes them tell the truth. I don’t know how. 

Jorja/Magnolia: We’ll push them to the dragon. He’ll cast Zone of Truth.

Olive/Timmit: That dragon is doing nothing for us ever again. 

Steven/Noah: No.

Rosie/Lucille: Na, I feel like Lucille bonded with it. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, we’re chill.

Steven/Noah: You stole its essence. 

Rosie/Lucille: No, it was just a game. It knows that. 

Steven/Noah: Also, I have Detect Thoughts.

Rosie/Lucille: Oh yeah. 

Steven/Noah: We’ve got a telepath, remember?

Jorja/Magnolia: I think I also have Zone of Truth. 

Steven/Noah: Amazing.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do you guys have any questions that you want to jump in? Because that’s the end of the cards.This is the mid-season one. You’re not going to get another one until the end of the season. 

Jorja/Magnolia: I asked my questions.

Olive/Timmit: Yeah. I asked my questions. 

Rosie/Lucille: I can’t think of any.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What are your expectations for Avos and Exanimus since they’re the last two,

Rosie/Lucille: I reckon someone’s going to die.

Jorja/Magnolia: Please don’t. 

Rosie/Lucille: I don’t know, I just feel like because they’re the last two they have to - I feel there’s going to be in one of them at least - like there’s got to be a big battle that makes it seem like we’re going to die. Like, it’s going to be super, super intense, and we’re just going to pull through. 

Steven/Noah: I was going to say, we’ve already had a death. 

Rosie/Lucille: Oh yeah, yeah.

Steven/Noah: You can’t remember the name, can you?

Rosie/Lucille: It’s Hymnbo, right?

Steven/Noah: What? No!

Jorja/Magnolia: Honey Boo Boo.

Steven/Noah: Honey Boo Boo!

Rosie/Lucille: Oh yeah, Honey Boo Boo.

Steven/Noah: She sacrificed herself for you, remember.

Rosie/Lucille: No, I do recall. I mean like, you know, we’re all nearly dying. I reckon that’s going to happen.

Steven/Noah: No, I don’t think that’s going to happen at all. We’ve got this.

Olive/Timmit: I don’t reckon that’s going to come from the next two zones. I reckon that’ll come after. I have a feeling that the air one is going to be some sort of bullshit athletics trial thing that they’ll put us through-

Steven/Noah: It’s going to be easy breezy. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Hehehe.

Olive/Timmit: Yeah- Hehehe. But then the metal, stone palace: I think it’s going to be a maze. 

Rosie/Lucille: That’s a-maze-ing. 

Olive/Timmit: Cut that. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, that shouldn’t have made the cut to come out of your brain. 

Rosie/Lucille: What!?

*laughter*

Jorja/Magnolia: I think you’re probably right. Probably dex - obstacle course, maybe time trial. Like, if you can defeat this-

Olive/Timmit: Yeah, it’ll be a challenge against one of theirs and one of ours. Something like that.

Jorja/Magnolia: Maybe. Something weird.

Olive/Timmit: Yeah.

Jorja/Magnolia: I think the non-magic metal area… I don’t care what it is, I’m just going to be like, ‘Well, I’m going to look at everything here. Is that my challenge? I’ll do it.’

Olive/Timmit: I think it’s going to remind me very much of the… The idea I have of it is Critical Role: Campaign 2 - the happy, fun-time ball. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Oh yeah, okay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: For those of us not familiar with that. 

Jorja/Magnolia: It’s like a ball that inside of it is a whole different dimension essentially, and it’s just a maze of different rooms.

Steven/Noah: That sounds very magical. 

Olive/Timmit: It is, but this would be its inverted hell.

Steven/Noah: Jesus.

Olive/Timmit: It will be for Timmit.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I just have one question/thought as well. You touched on Hymnbo. Obviously we know from logistical stand points that-

Steven/Noah: Oh my fucking god, he’s fucking dead. 

*laughter*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: We know from a logistical standpoint: Hymnbo is not coming back as a PC or a someone we can really talk to. I feel really weird about voicing PCs.

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah.

Olive/Timmit: Should we just come up with our own theories of how he died?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s what I mean. Not necessarily death, but what is the fate of Hymnbo?

Jorja/Magnolia: I think Hymnbo’s actually the big bad - part of The Winter Court that sent The Summer Court. 

Steven/Noah: Yes, the fire mage is a Winter Court. 

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah!

Olive/Timmit: He’s had wintery things before.

Jorja/Magnolia: Yeah, Blizzbro.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: True. 

Jorja/Magnolia: He’s got an in, and now he’s part of it. He’s like, ‘Yeah, fuck these guys.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nathan’s characters were two different characters to clarify. 

Jorja/Magnolia: No, they’re the same.

Olive/Timmit: Exact same. 

Rosie/Lucille: I think that Hymnbo wandered off into the wilderness and I think that he got very, very lost and probably passed out and was very disorientated, and a little tribe of fairies that live out in the wilderness found him, and they were like, ‘What is this creature,’ and now they worship him like a god, and it’s all that he ever wanted. 

Jorja/Magnolia: That’s fitting. I think that happened. 

Rosie/Lucille: Yeah, I choose to believe that.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I have plans for him, but nothing’s come up too much yet. 

Olive/Timmit: Well, I was going to say that I think he straight up got eaten. He probably made it like two days in the wilderness and something came up and just ate him while he was sleeping. 

Steven/Noah: I was going to say, if you’ve got plans - what in the necromantic hell are you doing with the corpse of Hymnbo?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Wow.

Rosie/Lucille: Maybe the dragon ate him. Like, I know it was a completely different place, but maybe it flew over and ate him, and that’s why it was not killing us. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I mean, it’s been a few days. Maybe he’s walked over there and the dragon ate him.

Rosie/Lucille: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Alright! I think that concludes the mid-season Q&A episode. Please join our Patreon where you can submit questions for the end of season Q&A episode. Along with other awesome things. The Quiet Year that we touched on - a little four episode arc where we build the world of Prophis. You can get things like character sheets of everyone as they level up each level. Monster sheets for all the monsters. Ad-free episodes. Early access. I think it’s about an episode and a half ahead that I’ve already got uploaded with early access. Oh and If you pay us lots of money on Patreon then we’ll do a little video for you saying thank you. 

Steven/Noah: If you pay us lots of money.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The higher tiers. The highest tier is that we do a little thank you video.

Olive/Timmit: Could be implicate people who do subscribe to involve them as an NPC? Like their name or their…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I have thought about that too. I think that’s something I want to include more in season three. 

Steven/Noah: We have a whole Winter Court to give names to. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Give them all to the bad guys. 

Olive/Timmit: Subscribe and give us lots of money and we can put you in season three.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Thank you guys so much for listening. Tune in for the regular episode next week, or whenever it comes out. Bye!

Jorja/Magnolia: Bye!

Olive/Timmit: Bye!

Rosie/Lucille:  Toodaloo.

Steven/Noah: Someone build me a character. 

Theme Song: *rock music plays*

Finding home in the belly of the beast, to make it home we can’t accept defeat, so roll the dice and come along with me, finding home in the belly of the beast

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Thank you so much for listening to Portal Quandary. Portal Quandary is made possible by the following people: Myself, Tyrone Cross as Dungeon Master, Community Manager, and Editor, Steven Edwards as Noah, Olive Jerome as Timothy and the Editing Assistant, Rosemary Ochtman as Lucille, and Jorja Odd as Magnolia. Elias Moffat is our Content Producer and Narrative Consultant, and Chanelle Hayden is our transcriber. Our theme song is Belly of the Beast by Lily Harnath and Henry Lucas, and if you need to contact us you can do so at portalquandary@gmail.com. We’re also on the lookout for someone to join our team as a Community Manager, so if that sounds like you, shoot us a DM or an email. We’re also on a bunch of social media including Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Threads, and our newly launched Patreon. So if you’re interested in any of those please head over to them. They’re all @PortalQuandary. That’s Q-U-A-N-D-A-R-Y. And this podcast was recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people, and produced on the lands of the Awabakal, and Wurundjeri people. Portal Quandary acknowledges and pays respect to our traditional custodians and to their past and present leaders. 

Theme Song: *rock music continues* 

Finding home in the belly of the beast, (in the belly of the beast), to make it home we can’t accept defeat, (there’s no turning back) so roll the dice and come along with me, (come along with me, let’s go), finding home in the belly of the beast.