Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Portal Quandary has some content warnings, which you can find in the episode description.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There are four figures standing in a little room in the basement of a convenience store. Down the stairs and behind velvet red curtains hides a speakeasy. They are wearing black cloaks and animal masks, and are waiting patiently for the results of their test. The eagle masked figure breaks the silence. 

Tyrone/Greggory: “That was so totally awesome! You were like, ‘whoosh’, and then he came in like, ‘stab, stab,’ and then you came in like, ‘zappow!’ This is gonna be sick!”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Easy son.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The dragon-masked leader replies, attempting to curb the younger man’s enthusiasm. 

Tyrone/Thorne: “You did well, but initiation was just the first step on a long road back to normality. Your talents will be valuable to our operations.” 

Tyrone/Mildred: “You flatter us too much, dear.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The bear says to the eagle.

Tyrone/Mildred: “Without the information they had on those wyrmlings, we never would have found them. You’ve got an admirable operation here.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The timid dog mask pipes up. 

Tyrone/Dave: “So, uh, what’s our next steps then anyway? Do we fight more monsters like that?”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Well some of our guys are on a high-stakes mission right now. They’re gonna get us some answers so we can plan our next moves. They’re infiltrating that walled up city as we speak. “

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The fox-masked figure perks up.

Tyrone/Jack: “Oh, the fairies in Lambence? What do they want with those guys?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Nothing yet. We’re just working on suspicions right now. That tower appeared at the same time as The Shift, so somethings up there, and our crew is doing some reconnaissance to confirm our suspicions.”

Tyrone/Greggory: “Aww, that’d be rad to be there right now. A city full of flying folks, that’s the dream! Let’s check out what’s going on down there!”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A feathered arm comes out from behind the energetic eagle-masked figure, phone in hand. Swiftly, they navigate to a live-streaming news website covering Lambence’s open day. 

Tyrone/Reporter: “As you can see, winged beasts have descended from some portal in the sky and are wreaking havoc upon the visitors of Lambence. And we’ve lost visuals as the camera man has just been taken. If you’re listening honey, I love you.”  

Tyrone/Greggory: “Ah, mate. You said they’re in there?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “What? Give me that!”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The dragon mask watches the tiny screen as a manticore lifts up a civilian into the air and flings them back, hurtling towards the ground. Without another word, they’re already through the velvet curtains and heading back up the stairs leading to the milk fridge, a green hand grasping at a radio. 

Tyrone/Thorne: *radio* “Come in, come in.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Back in the speakeasy, the cloaked figures begin removing their masks. 

Tyrone/Greggory: “So, when do we get that free milk we were promised?”

Theme Song: [rock music plays]

Finding home in the belly of the beast, to make it home we can’t accept defeat, so roll the dice and come along with me, finding home in the belly of the beast

[synth bass music]

Tyrone/Thorne: “So, looking at these pieces of paper here in front of us, it seems like they’re detailing some infiltrations by the- They’ve caught people trying to get into the city time and time again. It’s becoming more frequent over the past six months. They’re trying to figure out where their base of operations is. They’re trying to see which direction they come from, what they look like. Trying to profile them. So, they seem to be coming from - from the city - from the north-westerly direction.”

Olive/Daryl: “Ah, yeah cool. That’s fantastic. That’s great. Thank you so much for introducing the episode, Thorne.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Thank you so much.”

Olive/Daryl: So, documents basically outline…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, there's been more and more infiltration attempts over the past six months. It seems to be mostly fairies, and they seem to be coming from the north-westerly direction.

Tyrone/Thorne: “There seems to be suspicions that people - The Winter Court specifically - infiltrated and posed as some Summer Court fairies, so I don’t think there's too much visual distinction between the two. It’s more cultural.”

Olive/Daryl: “So, this would essentially imply that although The Summer Court only just arrived, The Winter Court has always been here.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “That seems to be the case, yeah.”

Olive/Daryl: “And they’ve just been living among us.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “I think so. I mean, it’s probably not safe to assume that all fairies, if they weren’t in the city, are evil.”

Olive/Daryl: “Well no, I’m not talking about evil, but they were always here.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Yeah.”

Olive/Daryl: “Right, okay. Interesting. So…”

Tyrone/Thorne: “So, where are they? Where have they been?”

Olive/Daryl: “Well, that’s just the question, and the other question too is when you think about it, right? So, The Summer Court and everybody turns into a whole bunch of mythical mumbo-jumbo.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Right. What about the other two? Are they coming along soon?”

Olive/Daryl: “You know, I’ve not heard from them yet, but I suppose we’ll hear from them at some point. But the real question is though, is whether the return of The Summer Court is the fault for all this on their end, or if they’ve triggered something with The Winter Court that’s caused this to occur. So, The Summer Court could potentially have absolutely nothing to do with it.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “We’ve got to find out something about the exile and stuff because if they came back did it trigger something?”

Olive/Daryl: “Maybe. Yeah, we’ve got to find out where The Winter Court is hiding out.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Somewhere north-west, I guess.”

Olive/Daryl: “North-west. What are odds that they’d both be in Australia?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Well, if they were hanging out with each other back in the past, pretty high.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yep. That checks out.”

Steven/Andres: Your logic is sound. 

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah. Good logic, mate. Good logic, Thorne. You know, you’re pretty sharp.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Thank you, yeah. It takes a lot to run a business. You need to have a sharp mind.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, for sure. For sure, and a thriving business it is, mate.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Absolutely thriving.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Would you two have radioed back at all once you got out?

Jorja/Indigo: No, we went to Maccas.

Steven/Andres: We did. 

Olive/Daryl: Daryl is so disappointed, but they’re young. They’re youthful.

Jorja/Indigo: You don’t know yet.

Olive/Daryl: Their stomachs can handle it. No, I know. I know I don’t know. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What’s Pookie doing this whole time? Are you just listening?

Rosie/Pookie: No.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘No.’

Steven/Andres: ‘Definitely not.’

Rosie/Pookie: No, I’m exploring the house. I’m doing a little snoop.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure. This is a pretty small apartment above the convenience store. So, it just has the open plan kitchen/lounge room. It seems to open to a bathroom that’s just an open door that you can see. There seems to be three other doors, assumedly to bathrooms.

Rosie/Pookie: Okay. I'd like to go into the bathroom to see what medication they’re taking.

Steven/Andres: Because you would know that being a cat.

Rosie/Pookie: Well look, I think I can read.

Steven/Andres: ‘Oh, I know that one. Dickhead used to take it every day. Just before he got into bed.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll an Investigation.

Rosie/Pookie: Thanks. I will also be exploring the bedrooms by the way.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: All those doors are closed, so good luck with that.

Rosie/Pookie: Oh, what!?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I did say that.

Rosie/Pookie: Oh. What type of handle do they have?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A round one.

Rosie/Pookie: Why do they all have round handles? I’m starting to think that this is intentional.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This is an old building. I feel like new ones have the lever. 

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: Fourteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fourteen. Around the bathroom sink you found some iron tablets, some vitamin D tablets. There’s some ritalin. 

Rosie/Pookie: Very interesting. 

Olive/Daryl: Do not give the cat ritalin. 

Rosie/Pookie: Are they open?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No.

Rosie/Pookie: Okay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s got a child-proof lock on it.

Rosie/Pookie: Well, in that case then, I’m going to go for a little meander down the hall and try to push open the doors, but I figure that they’re closed, correct?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’m going to say that one of them is open.

Rosie/Pookie: Yay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It seems to open to the bedroom of a seven year old. 

Rosie/Pookie: Okay, I’m going to snoop around under the bed. Anything cool?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Some banana peels. Some action figures. Some building blocks.

Steven/Andres: Take away his allowance. That’s gross.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, I’m going to pick up that banana peel.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah? What are you going to do with it?

Rosie/Pookie: I’m going to walk out. I’m going to put it down at the shop-owner's feet.

Tyrone/Thorne: “Ugh, what have you got there?”

Rosie/Pookie: “ *meows* “

Tyrone/Thorne: “He’s heard you talk already.”

Rosie/Pookie: “ *meows* “

Olive/Daryl: “She’s like this sometimes. I think she just… I don’t know. Pookie, where did you find this?”

Rosie/Pookie: I just fall over and start biting the shop-owner’s legs.

Tyrone/Thorne: “Pookie! What the fuck?”

Rosie/Pookie: “ *aggressive meows* “ Then I go and sit in front of the other door annoyed and flicking my tail. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’ll pick up the banana peel and throw it in the bin.

Rosie/Pookie: Not opening the door for the annoyed cat?

Olive/Daryl: “Just ignore her. She’s fine. She’s just in a mood, I think.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Are you okay?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, I am. I just thought that- I just wanted to- I was feeling a bit antsy, and I wanted to go into my own separate space alone, so i thought if you could kindly open up one of these door for me?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Alright, you can relax on my bed.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, why thank you.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Don’t mess up anything in there, alright?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I don’t even know the meaning of the word. Quite literally.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure, he’ll open up the door to a bedroom with a queen bed. It’s fairly bare-bones. It’s got bedside tables, the dresser with the vanity mirror, some drawers, no ensuite or anything like that, a full length mirror in the corner. Yeha.

Rosie/Pookie: Alright, so I go in, I stop and admire myself in the mirror a little bit, lick my paws slightly, push down a loose hair on my head, walk over to the bedside table, and peek into the little drawers.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do one more Investigation. Oh, Perception… Yeah, Perception.

Rosie/Pookie: Yay, I’m better at Perception.

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: Nineteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nineteen. You’ll find some jewellery. There's a big jewellery drawer with all sorts of necklaces and rings and bracelets and earrings. You’ll find their clothes. Their socks drawer and their underwear drawer. You know what? You’re going to find a hunting knife.

Rosie/Pookie: A hunting knife?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: In the underwear drawer.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m picking that one up.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, so you  just grab the handle and drag it out?

Rosie/Pookie: Yes I do, and then I poke my head around the corner so that I have an eye-line to Daryl, and telepathically, “Hello Daryl, I have explored their room and I have found a knife. As you know, I cannot bring this out without being seen, so what I’m going to do is I’m going to sidle over to you, put it down next to your foot, and I want you stand on top of it so that they don’t notice it, and then I want you to pick it up and put it up your pants so that they don’t see it, and then you shall - if you have time - try to explore another room so we can get to the bottom of this and make them try to not get rid of all the magic. Anyway, I’m coming to you now with the knife.”

Olive/Daryl: “Your bathroom is just down the hallway, right?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Yeah, yeah. That’s right.”

Olive/Daryl: “I’ll be back in two seconds.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “No worries, I’ll finish up this salad.”

Olive/Daryl: I’ll turn down the hallway, and as Pookie is coming to meet me, I’ll pick her up by the scruff of her neck, take the blade out of her mouth, and I’ll walk down to the bathroom, pop her down, and close the door behind me.

[door slams]

Olive/Daryl: “Pookie.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes?”

Olive/Daryl: “Do you want to explain that to me one more time? What’s going on, Pookie? What is this?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Well, I went into the room to do some searching because I figure that they say that they want to get rid of the magic, and I really do not want that to happen, so I thought that I would get rid of anything that they have that would help them, and a knife seems like it would be helpful if it was hidden so close to the bed, and I thought really that we could really use a knife more than them if we want to keep the magic, so I thought that I’d give you the knife so that we can use it against the bad guys, and obviously I can’t use a knife because I don’t have hands, so I thought that i could give it to you so that you could put it up your pants, and then we steal the knife, and then we have a knife, and then they don’t have a knife, so they’re down one, and we’re up one.”

Olive/Daryl: “Okay. Do you remember the meeting that we all had together at the beginning of this little journey? Okay, let me quickly refresh your memory. So, when we were all chatting and discussing what our aim was and what everyone wanted to do, these people told us their plans, right? So, we kind of know that they want to know what is up with the magic. Now, I know that he said that his ultimate goal is to get rid of the magic, but he’s just scared, Pookie. He doesn’t understand what this magic is.”

Rosie/Pookie: “And being scared is a sense of weakness.”

Olive/Daryl: “Pookie, no. Absolutely not.”

Rosie/Pookie: “If I see a scared cat, I swat it over the head.”

Olive/Daryl: “I mean, it’s a way to everage dominance over people, but being afraid of something doesn’t inherently mean that you’re weak. I mean, if a giant dog came up to you and started growling and trying to bite you, you’re telling me that you wouldn’t feel any fear?”

Rosie/Pookie: “God, no. No, no, no, no, no. I don’t feel anything like that. Of course not, but no, I get what you’re saying. We won’t do much, but I do think that we should take the knife from them.”

Olive/Daryl: “I think that I’d be more than happy to discuss with him why he has a knife in his home with his children. It seems unsafe. Even if a cat was able to find.”

Rosie/Pookie: “But don’t tell him that I found it. That would be quite awkward moving forward. Say that you found it.”

Olive/Daryl: “Why don’t we just put the knife back?”

Rosie/Pookie: “You really want to walk into his room and put the knife back?”

Olive/Daryl: “Who says that it’s me who's going to do it?”

Rosie/Pookie: “You really want little old me to drag a knife all the way back to the room?”

Olive/Daryl: “Would you rather me put you back in the car, and you can wait for us all to leave?”

Rosie/Pookie: I dart away and hide underneath the chair.

Olive/Daryl: “Alright.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: In the bathroom?

Rosie/Pookie: No, I’ve gone out to the lounge room.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He closed the door.

Olive/Daryl: I closed the door behind us. 

Rosie/Pookie: Oh no!

Olive/Daryl: You need to remember that you can’t open doors. You’re a cat!

Steven/Andres: Foiled again by the door.

Rosie/Pookie: I go to dart out and nearly slam into the door. “Okay, well played. I’ll take the knife.”

Olive/Daryl: ‘Well played, sir.’

Rosie/Pookie: “You got me.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, you’ll take the knife back?

Rosie/Pookie: Yep, I’ll drag the knife back.

Olive/Daryl: I’ll take the knife down and give it back to Pookie, and I’ll pop my hand on the door handle, and as I go to to open it, I look back to her. “Everyone feels fear, Pookie. Even you.”

Rosie/Pookie: I bare my teeth.

Olive/Daryl: I open the door.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do you put it back?

Rosie/Pookie: As I go to leave, I telepathically say to him, “I’ll go along, but I want you to know that I still do not trust them, and I shall be checking every move that they make,” and I put it back.

[upbeat pop music]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Meanwhile, in a McDonalds.

Jorja/Indigo: Yes.

Steven/Andres: Heyo!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What are we ordering?

Steven/Andres: Probably something off of the loose change menu.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Chicken and cheese?

Steven/Andres: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A chicken wrap?

Steven/Andres: A chicken and cheese. Keep it simple.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice.

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to get a McCrispy, but with a steamed bun.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Ooo, you know all of the changes.

Jorja/Indigo: Yep.

Steven/Andres: “Huh. God Indigo, it’s like you think you work here or something.”

Jorja/Indigo: “ *awkward laughter* ”

Steven/Andres: Nervous laughter.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do you guys chill out and eat there, or are you getting it and going?

Steven/Andres: I mean, I guess we should get going, hey? What have we got on us right now? We don’t have the painting.

Jorja/Indigo: No, we’ve got nothing.

Steven/Andres: We gave that back.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I don’t think that you have anything new. You might have the pamphlet that you took. The pamphlet and the notice that she gave out.

Steven/Andres: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I think that’s the main thing that you took. Oh, you’ve got your potions on you.

Steven/Andres: Yep.

Jorja/Indigo: Photos.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Steven/Andres: “I don’t know, what do you reckon? We jump on the next tram and eat this on the go.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, alright.”

Steven/Andres: “Yep, righto. Sounds good.” To the convenience store!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: *sound mimicking the 1960’s Batman transition music*

Jorja/Indigo: *sound mimicking the 1960’s Batman transition music*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: On the way, Has anybody got their radio still on?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah probably. I would have forgotten to turn it off.

Steven/Andres: Yeah, I would have.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, I’ve got the radio still on.

Tyrone/Jonika: *radio* “Hi, this is Jonika! Are you guys okay? We’re still waiting on two of you.”

Jorja/Indigo: *radio* “Yeah, we’re okay. On the way back.”

Tyrone/Jonika: *radio* “You made it back?”

Steven/Andres: *radio* “Yeah, we’re… Excuse me. Yes, we’re on our way back.”

Tyrone/Jonika: *radio* “Okay, come meet me down at the basement when you come back.”

Jorja/Indigo: *radio* “Okay.”

Tyrone/Jonika: *radio* “Bye.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, back at the convenience store?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You are once again met with this teenage half-orc girl sitting there, looking at a text-book and writing ina  note-book. 

Tyrone/Half-Orc: “Hi. I’ll tell him that you’re here?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Steven/Andres: “I appreciate that. Thanks.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’ll lazily walk over to the door at the other side of the room and open it up, and just yell up:

Tyrone/Half-Orc: “Dad! They’re here!”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Which you guys upstairs hear, and she’ll head back over to do her homework. 

Olive/Daryl: *footstep sounds*

Steven/Andres: “Hey Indigo, we should fuck with them.” I’m going to cast Disguise Self. I’m going to disguise myself to look like Indigo.

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to change my clothes to look like Andres’s, and use Minor Illusion to make my face look like Andres.

Steven/Andres: Let’s go! This is unnecessarily complicated.

Olive/Daryl: “Oh my god, you guys are back? Thank goodness! How did it go? Andres, are you alright?”

Jorja/Indigo: Are you looking at me?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, I am, and as I’m asking that I’m coming over to put a hand on your shoulder and give you a little squeeze. “Are you alright, mate?”

Jorja/Indigo: *imitating Andres* “Yeah, mate.”

Olive/Daryl: “Thank god. Alright, and Indigo, are you good?”

Steven/Andres: *imitating Indigo* “Oh my god, physical contact. I could never.”

Olive/Daryl: “My goodness, alright. Look, I just want to make sure that you’re both alright. I understand that maybe, Indigo, you don’t like that contact and that’s fine, but, Andres, I know he’s a softie. He likes a good hug, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Isn’t that right?”

Jorja/Indigo: I’m tensing so hard.

Olive/Daryl: “It’s alright, buddy. It’s okay. I know.” I pull you in and give you a hug and a slap on the back.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Can you roll an Investigation quickly?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah.

Jorja/Indigo: I look back at Andres like, ‘This was a bad idea.’

*dice rolls*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You can change your clothes, but you’ve still got boobies.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, I still have boobies.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And also, I’m pretty sure- Oh, you’re fairly tall, aren’t you? I feel like you wouldn’t be as tall as Andres, I think. I don’t know.

Jorja/Indigo: No, I’m short.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You are short?

Olive/Daryl: Twelve.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah. I’m below average. 

Steven/Andres: He walks in and we’ve swapped heights.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Twelve… How does the Disguise Self…? Is there a DC to it?

Steven/Andres: Yeah, it does not hold up to physical inspection, and Investigation against my spell save DC to break that.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A spell save. Which is what?

Steven/Andres: Yep. It is fifteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, so he rolled under that. Daryl is unaware.

Olive/Daryl: “Is everything alright, Andres? You seem a little tense.”

Jorja/Indigo: *impersonating Andres* “Yeah, mate.”

Olive/Daryl: “What happened with him, Indigo? Is he alright?”

Steven/Andres: *impersonating Indigo* “You know, I think that he’s just really appreciating the hug that you’re giving him.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I can’t do it anymore. Stop. Let go. Let go.”

Steven/Andres: *impersonating Indigo* “Maybe I could also have an affirming hug from you.”

Olive/Daryl: “Indigo. I mean, really?”

Steven/Andres: *impersonating Indigo* “Yeah. I mean, please da- Daryl.”

Olive/Daryl: “Wait a minute!”

Jorja/Indigo: I’m dropping Minor Illusion and squirming. “Get me out!”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, Indigo. Well, you- Oh. *hearty chuckle.* Well, I see that this little trick here backfired on you two, didn’t you?”

Steven/Andres: I’m going to drop mine and turn back into Andres, and be like, “Yeah mate! Come on, give me a hug. Go on, go on.”

Olive/Daryl: “That was bloody good, mate. That was bloody good. I like that.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Pookie.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Hello?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Are you coming down?”

Rosie/Pookie: “It depends.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “On what?”

Rosie/Pookie: “What are we doing down?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Jonika asked us to all come down.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Well, I suppose that I shall be coming down then, shan’t  I?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Yes, please come.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Off I tot.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Alright, let’s head on down. Let’s head down the milk fridge.”

[relaxing lofi music]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Heading down to the curtained room at the bottom of the stairs and heading through the part into the larger speakeasy, we have six people standing all facing you. They're wearing black robes and a white animal mask each. We have: a rat; an owl; an eagle; a fox; a bear; and a dog.

Rosie/Pookie: What type of dog?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A golden retriever.

Rosie/Pookie: Okay, that’s a good choice.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah. They're all standing and facing you, not saying anything.

Olive/Daryl: “Well, my my.”

Steven/Andres: I guess we’ll turn to the main guy who walked down with us and say, “What are they doing?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Ah, I don’t know. You guys alright? You guys alright?”

Steven/Andres: I would like to cast Detect Magic.

Jorja/Indigo: I would like to roll Insight.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Sixteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: On Insight?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The rat mask is going to start… You can hear snickering and laughing.

Tyrone/Jonika: “ *snickering* Got you! Hi! Welcome back!”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She takes off her mask.

Jorja/Indigo: I lower my sword.

Steven/Andres: What did my Detect Magic show?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Thirty feet?

Steven/Andres: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No… Oh, no. No, no new information.

Steven/Andres: Okay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Just the same as before.

Steven/Andres: Yep. I will just clarify that the people that were standing in the line with the masks, are they within that thirty foot range?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep, you get pretty much anything in this room.

Steven/Andres: No, that’s fine. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The owl will take his mask off as well to reveal the minotaur again. They’ll will begin taking their cloaks off as well. 

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Welcome back.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh yeah, thanks mate. How’s everything been here at home base?”

Steven/Andres: “Hold on, hold on, hold on. You guys have multiplied. There’s more you.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “You guys can take your hoods off now.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And each take their masks off. We have an old, dwarven woman behind the bear mask. We have a half-elf man take off the dog mask. We’ll have an aarakocra behind the eagle mask.

Rosie/Pookie: A what?

Steven/Andres: A bird-person. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s a bird-person.

Rosie/Pookie: Oh.

Steven/Andres: So, they took it off to look the same?

Rosie/Pookie: And a humanoid looking man, middle-aged, behind the fox mask.

Tyrone/Jonika: “Welcome! We’ve done some recruiting while you guys have been busy. Welcome to the next four members.”

Steven/Andres: “Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What trial did they have to go through?”

Tyrone/Jonika: “They had to fight something too.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Really? Were there really that many things to fight?”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Yeah, there were some wyrmlings down in the Docklands too. There’s lots of things in the alleyways around there.”

Steven/Andres: “But we were recruited first, right?”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Yeah.”

Steven/Andres: “So, we outrank them?”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Sure.”

Steven/Andres: “Not the answer I wanted to hear.”

Olive/Daryl: “I’ve got a feeling this is not a particularly sensitive place in terms of ranks.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The aarakocra will come up to you and be like:

Tyrone/Greggory: “Yeah, how’s it going! Nice to meet you, I’m Greggory.”

Steven/Andres: “How’s it going? Nice to meet you, Greggory. I’m Andres.”

Olive/Daryl: “I’m Daryl. Nice to meet you.”

Tyrone/Greggory: “Hi Daryl. Hi Andres. Is the cat- is that a thing?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Hello, I’m Pookie.”

Tyrone/Greggory: “Hello Pookie, and girl.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Hi.”

Steven/Andres: ‘I am feeling defeated because I have not been able to open doors.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes.

Olive/Daryl: “And this is Indigo here.”

Tyrone/Greggory: “Ah, Indigo. Nice to meet you.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’ll reach out a hand to handshake.

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A very firm and energetic handshake.

Rosie/Pookie: Do I smell anything weird on them? Do you know how dogs and cats can smell…?

Steven/Andres: When it’s going to rain?

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, that, or when people are mean. I feel like they can smell it and sense it. Can I smell anything on them?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do you want to roll an Insight?

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah.

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: Hello, I got a seven. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I feel like you don’t trust a person in a dog mask as a cat. You’re like, ‘Dog mask. Nope.’

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah okay. Which one was that again? Who is he? 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s the young, half-elf man.

Rosie/Pookie: Yep, cool. I position myself as far away as physically possible from that one.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Love. I think the old dwarf woman is going to approach Daryl.

Tyrone/Mildred: “Hello. Nice to meet you. My name is Mildred.”

Olive/Daryl: “Pleasure to meet you, Mildred. I am Daryl. How are you?”

Tyrone/Mildred: “Lovely. It’s good to see another old face in here.”

Olive/Daryl: “Well, I mean I don't like to say that I’m… Well… Yeah.”

Tyrone/Mildred: “It’s alright, darling. There’s no shame in it.”

Olive/Daryl: “No, absolutely not. You know, it’s just every now and then you’re reminded, and you’re like, ‘Woah,’ and in this job I feel twenty years younger, you know?”

Tyrone/Mildred: “I can't wait to get started.”

Olive/Daryl: “It sounds to me like you’ve already started.”

Tyrone/Mildred: “We did a little bit, you know? Hi everyone, I’m Mildred by the way.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Is Mildred the same as mildew because I know once when I was at my family home before I got lost they had a bit of a mildew problem at our whole house, and they had to get a whole wall taken out. So, are you the same?”

Tyrone/Mildred: “No darling. That is mil-dew. I am Mil-dred.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Is it a different strain?”

Tyrone/Mildred: “You could say that. It’s a lot more complicated than that though. See, I’m a person, and that is a fungus, I guesS?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Are you safe, or are you contagious?”

Tyrone/Mildred: “Only the happiness is contagious, dear.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Okay, that is acceptable. Thank you, Mildred. I think we’ll get along splendidly.”

Tyrone/Mildred: “Would you like a pat?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh yes, actually. I would. Would you enjoy it if I were to sit on your shoulder, perhaps?”

Tyrone/Mildred: “Oh, I can take a seat and you can sit in my lap.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, excellent.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’ll do just that.

Olive/Daryl: “And what about you, young lad?” I’m looking towards the dog mask?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The dog mask?

Tyrone/Dave: “Hi, I’m Dave. Nice-

Steven/Andres: “G’day Dave, nice to meet you.”

Tyrone/Dave: “Yep, we’re doing handshakes now. Sure. Hello Andres, I got your name. Daryl, Indigo, Pookie. I’ll try to remember that, yes. Nice. Is that all I have to do, right?”

Olive/Daryl: “For now, absolutely. We’ll get to the next round in a little bit, but first things first: fox man.”

Tyrone/Jack: “Oh, yeah. I’m Jack. Nice to meet you. We’ll do hand…”

Steven/Andres: “G’Day Jack.”

Tyrone/Jack: “Yep, I can do a handshake, it’s alright, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One for you, missy. You don’t have to.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Tyrone/Jack: “We’ll do one, sure. For you, and the cat?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I will accept a pat or a little scratch, thank you.”

Tyrone/Jack: “Behind the ears?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, yes. Behind the left one, actually. There’s a bit of an itch.”

Tyrone/Jack: “Oh, let me do that. There you go.”

Olive/Daryl: “Okay, out of curiosity, now that you’re in the fray, what is it exactly that you are bringing to the table? If you prefer, I’m more than happy for us to go first, so that we can understand and communicate what we’re all capable of doing.”

Tyrone/Greggory: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I reckon that’s the best idea. Let’s do that.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alrighty, beautiful. I mean, we’ve got Andres over here who is our gifted… And then we’ve got Indigo who’s our people person.”

Tyrone/Greggory: “I can tell. Mmm.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yep.”

Olive/Daryl: “And then we’ve got Pookie, and she’s a…”

Rosie/Pookie: “Hello. I’m a cat.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yep. She’s a cat.”

Tyrone/Greggory: “Okay.”

Olive/Daryl: “You know, she’s also got some pretty cool…”

Jorja/Indigo: “Leaves.”

Olive/Daryl: “Leaves.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, would you all like to see the leaf that I found on our mission? Daryl? The honours?”

Olive/Daryl: I’ll take the leaf out and hold it up.

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Is it magical?”

Olive/Daryl: “It’s a leaf.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Very well.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yep.”

Rosie/Pookie: I’m staring at everyone, expecting a massive reaction.

Jorja/Indigo: “Woah.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Thank you.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I think the aarakocra will be like:

Tyrone/Greggory: “Yeah! Woo! Leaf!”

Rosie/Pookie: ‘Woo! Leaf!’

Jorja/Indigo: ‘Let’s go leaf!’

Tyrone/Greggory: “Yeah!”

Steven/Andres: I can’t be-leaf it.

Olive/Daryl: “Do you still want me to hold onto this, or would you like it now?”

Rosie/Pookie: “No. Yes, yes, you hold onto it. I’ll call upon you whenever I want to look at it.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright. Okay.” I’ll pop that back in there. “And I’m Daryl. I’m the leaf bearer, but I’m also, I suppose, the muscle of the group.”

Steven/Andres: “You should have seen it. He punched a wall eventually.”

Olive/Daryl: “Hey! I did that two hits. It was pretty good actually.

Tyrone/Greggory: “You punched a wall? That’s sick as hell.”

Olive/Daryl: “Well yeah, I had to get through it because there was a long, round-about way, and at my age you’ve only got so many steps left in me, but yeah, as a general thing we’ve got: magical who-do voodoo; and wonderful, acoustic and melancholy attributes; and then we’ve got our lovely additional magic, witchy stuff here from a cat; and then I shoot a gun.”

Tyrone/Greggory: “A gun!?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah. A gun.”

Tyrone/Greggory: *whispering* “A gun? Are you guys okay with hanging out with him?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Actually Daryl, I was wondering if you could let me have a go of your gun sometime soon. I should quite like to see how I go with it.”

Olive/Daryl: “Are you trained?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Well, no. That's where you come in.”

Olive/Daryl: “Okay, wonderful. We’ll go to the shooting range sometime.”

Rosie/Pookie: “What about your next mission?”

Olive/Daryl: “Well, we’ll discuss it, alright?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Okay.”

Olive/Daryl: “Okay, alright, okay. And yourselves?”

Tyrone/Greggory: “Great introductions. Yeah, I’ll ask you more about yourselves later. My name is Greggory. I’m the hype man. I make sure that everyone around here stays pumped up and has teh energy.”

Rosie/Pookie: Oh, I hate him.

Olive/Daryl: There’s only room on this team for one bard.

Tyrone/Greggory: “I play a lot of sport in my spare time. A bit of footy, a bit of lacrosse, maybe a bit of basketball. I don’t know. If anyone’s up for a game sometime.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Simply not ever. Never.”

Olive/Daryl: “I think that you’d do rather well at basketball, Pookie.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Really? Really? You think that I would do well at basketball?”

Olive/Daryl: “About as well as you’d do shooting a gun.”

Rosie/Pookie: “And opening doors.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah.”

Tyrone/Mildred: “Hi, my name is Mildred. I’m about sixty-five. I’m a retired woman. I used to be a mechanic back in the day. Nowadays, I fix things around the house. I play bridge. I’m trying to get a bit more excitement in my life.”

Olive/Daryl: Why does she sound like she has one foot in the grave? Meanwhile, Daryl is seventy-something, and he’s like, ‘Oh, g’day!’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, just you wait. 

Olive/Daryl: Okay…

Tyrone/Dave: “Hi, I’m Dave.”

Steven/Andres: “Hello Dave.”

Tyrone/Dave: “I’m, I guess, a wizard. I do a lot of LARPing. My LARP name is Blizzbro if anyone’s into that.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh no.”

Tyrone/Dave: “Yep.”

Rosie/Pookie: That’s the dog one, right?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, that's the dog one.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, I thought so.

Tyrone/Jack: “Yep, my name is Jack. Nice to meet ya’s.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Is ‘meet ya’s’ like beaches?”

Tyrone/Jack: “Yeah.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Really?”

Tyrone/Jack: “No.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, okay.”

Tyrone/Jack: “I almost got you though, didn’t I?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, you did quite good. Good one.”

Tyrone/Jack: “I’m a bit of a business guy myself. I work in business, but I’m trying to get away from the nine to five, Monday to Friday. Here I am.”

Olive/Daryl: “And what is it that you do?”

Tyrone/Jack: “Accounting. What do business people really do, honestly? A lot of meetings. Secure deals.”

Olive/Daryl: “Okay, you don’t have any inherent skills then. That you’re bringing to the table here, I mean.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll an Insight.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, okay.

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: Insight… Twenty-two.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh shit.

Steven/Andres: Jesus.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Really? It’s plus five?

Steven/Andres: So insightful.

Olive/Daryl: Well, I was a police officer, so I kind of had to read people for a job.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Something seemed a little bit off. He couldn't seem to quite pin down what his story is.

Steven/Andres: Weak.

Olive/Daryl: I got that. Okay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah. Something’s a bit off about his story.

Tyrone/Jonika: “Anyway, now that you’ve met the new guys, we can meet some more later. I’m going to show them around a little bit.”

Steven/Andres: Sorry, before everyone leaves the room, I’m going to use my Eyes of the Grave ability, which is a Grave Domain thing from being a Cleric. I ‘gain the ability to occasionally sense the presence of the undead, whose existence is an insult to the natural cycle of life. As an action, I can open my awareness to magically detect undead. Until the end of my next turn, I know the location of any undead within sixty feet that isn’t behind total cover and isn’t protected by divination magic.’ Are any of these bitches dead? They will be. Grave Domain. Mildred’s old. I don’t know.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nope, you’ve got nothing.

Steven/Andres: Okay. Okay, sweet. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They are not undead.

Steven/Andres: Just seeing if any of them were undead.

Tyrone/Jonika: “Yeah, I’m going to show them around. Owl mask here, he’s going to show you out the back some cool stuff as a reward.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright, lead the way.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “So, if you head back here into my workshop.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Olive/Daryl: “I don’t understand him half the time.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Go this way.”

[calming electronic music plays]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You finally get into one of the back rooms. The curtains line the wall, but he parts the curtain in a certain way and there’s a door behind there.

Steven/Andres: “See, I told you that we were a higher rank than them.”

Olive/Daryl: “We’ve got certain privileges.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “You see, I spend a lot of my time cataloguing artefacts that we find.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s going to be a shelf along the back wall of this workshop, essentially. It kind of looks like a woodworking studio, a little bit. There’s some wooden benches in the middle with tools hanging out. Along the back wall are shelves with different names of things along the front, like placecards. There’s a pair of shoes on one shelf, or this glass bottle on one shelf, a pair of goggles on another, a big long stick standing on one.

Steven/Andres: I would like to cast Detect Magic.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s a bad idea.

Olive/Daryl: ‘I’m blind!’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, everything in front of you is…

Steven/Andres: Okay, yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Everything on that shelf is glowing. 

Steven/Andres: “Woah, those are some impressive little artefacts that you have there. I’m sensing magic in all of them.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Yes, you beat me to it.”

Steven/Andres: “You’re welcome.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “The three of us, we thought as a reward for your mission that we would allow you one of these to keep.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh shit.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, I’ve sent you all a magic item list that I’ll post on Patreon. Join our Patreon.

Rosie/Pookie: Please.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And you are welcome to one of them. He also says:

Tyrone/Minotaur: “I think we’re going to set up a bit of a book exchange system as well. So, maybe you find something on the field. Maybe you want to swap it for something here so that it gets added to my collection.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I found a key. Would you like the key, and I’ll get something cool?”

Olive/Daryl: “We might need the key.”

Jorja/Indigo: “We may need to keep the key.”

Olive/Daryl: “It is a very handy - and I don’t want to brag about it in front of you like this - but it is a handy device to have in case we are in a pinch.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I’ll trust you.”

Steven/Andres: “And it’ll work five percent of the time.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Once.”

Olive/Daryl: “Look, if it doesn’t prove useful to us after a time, then we can look to exchange it for something that we necessarily need in a capacity.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Might I take a look? You can keep it, of course, but I’d just like to take a look to add it to the archive.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, just before you do that though, these beautiful items that you’ve displayed out in front of us, do you know what each of them does?”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “I do. So that I don’t have to explain it to you, I’ve written it down in the archive, which is this big tome here.”

Steven/Andres: I wasn’t going to make you do it, I just wanted to know if he’s tested them.

Tyrone/Minotaur: Am I allowed to look at the key, or no?

Rosie/Pookie: It’s not in my pockets. I don’t have pockets.

Steven/Andres: Who is currently in possession of the key?

Olive/Daryl: I have the key right now. “Alright, here, take a look at that one while the younguns take a look around. Come on, take a look.”

Steven/Andres: “Look, you know, if it’s alright by you guys, I’m happy if you want to select first, and I’ll pick later.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright, no worries. I’m up first. I was taking a couple of different things here. I mean, it’s a very impressive collection.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Thank you.”

Olive/Daryl: “I spotted this, and I was wondering just how many of these you have? These little ammunition pellets.”

Steven/Andres: While this is occuring, I was wondering if I might have a chat with Pookie in the corner, secretly if that’s okay?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Secretly?

Steven/Andres: Yeah. We’ll just be perusing over the items and we’ll be like, “Oh, I’m just going to think about it while we talk really quietly in the corner.”

Rosie/Pookie: “How lovely.”

Steven/Andres: “That leaf that you had, how attached to it are you?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I am quite attached. I risked my life for that leaf.”

Steven/Andres: “I personally think that it’s a really good leaf. I think that it looks really good. Maybe I underestimated how much magical potential this leaf actually might have.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Really?”

Steven/Andres: “So, would you be willing to part with the leaf in order to exchange it for one of these gifts?”

Rosie/Pookie: “But we’re already getting gifts.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, but you can get another one. So, you get your free one, and then you can get another one if we swap in that leaf. What do you reckon?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Do you think that I’ll ever be able to find another leaf as good as that leaf?”

Steven/Andres: “Look, it’ll be hard, but I reckon if you try really hard and put your mind to it, I reckon you could find another one.”

Rosie/Pookie: Could I do an Insight check?

Steven/Andres: Why!?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

Steven/Andres: I’m assuming I’m rolling Deception? I’m going to cast Guidance on myself.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Twenty-seven.

Rosie/Pookie: I got sixteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Eww.

Steven/Andres: I got an eighteen on my dice plus four on my Guidance plus my plus five.

Rosie/Pookie: Oh my god. 

Olive/Daryl: God damn.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Pookie, he has good intentions.

Rosie/Pookie: Oh, excellent. “Well, if you truly do believe that this leaf has magical powers, and that swapping it will help our mission, and that you really do think that i can find a leaf just as special, and that you will help me find the leaf, then we can swap it.”

Steven/Andres: “I don’t remember saying that. Sure.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, excellent. Okay, we shall go on a  hunt later on today for a leaf then. Locked in. you can’t back out now.”

Steven/Andres: “Of course. I will definitely do that. So, I’ll ask Daryl for the leaf.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Okay.”

Steven/Andres: “Would… I mean, you can probably pick out the item if you like, but considering you don’t have anywhere to keep it, I’m happy ot hold onto it if you like.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yeah alright, we can make it a group effort.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah.”

Rosie/Pookie: “It’s everyone’s leaf.”

Steven/Andres: “I agree. You know, you’re so right. It is everyone’s leaf.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I don’t think this is going to go the way you like, but let’s find out.

Steven/Andres: We’re about to fucking find out. So, these two are talking currently, Daryl and- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take your time.

Tyrone/Minotaur: “There’s ten. Ten in this little box.”

Olive/Daryl: “Ten? What are they exactly? They’re little ammunition balls of…”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “I call them the walloping ammunition.”

Olive/Daryl: “Walloping?”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Basically, if you shoot them with it, they’re also going to get knocked back. Not like- Obviously people get knocked back if they get fucking shot.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah. Well, yeah.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “They get thrown across the room, basically.”

Olive/Daryl: “Done deal. I’ll take them off your hands.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “I thought I could interest you in them.”

Olive/Daryl: “Thank you.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Anybody else?”

Olive/Daryl: “How are you doing, Andres? Have you got a decision made?”

Steven/Andres: “No, I’m still conniving. No, I’m still happy to- Why don’t you- Come over here. Why don’t you walk me through your magical item there. That’s pretty cool.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, come take a look at this.”

Steven/Andres: I’m doing it all within the rules, alright? I’m not going to steal anything, but I will deceive.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah. I know.

Olive/Daryl: ‘I will get my bargain.’

Steven/Andres: “Now, I’ve got to admit Daryl, that leaf in your pocket.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, yeah?”

Steven/Andres: “Would you mind if I took that for a minute. I think we might be able to get another one of these magical items using that leaf.”

Olive/Daryl: “What’s with the leaf?”

Steven/Andres: “Look, so what I’m going to do… This is play. I respect you, Daryl, so I’m going to tell you the plan.”

Olive/Daryl: “I appreciate you telling me that, Andres.”

Steven/Andres: “This leaf, I reckon that I can convince that guys that it’s magical, and we can swap in his exchange for another one of those little items. I’vbe already run it through Pookie. She said yes.”

Olive/Daryl: “Okay.”

Steven/Andres: “She also said… What did she say? That it’s a group leaf, so we’ve all got to decide as a group which one we want, but she has agreed that I can hold onto the magical item on her behalf.”

Olive/Daryl: “Okay. Look, it’s a tough decision, mate.”

Steven/Andres: “Look, all you’ve got to do is give me the leaf.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Savage.

Steven/Andres: ‘Sorry, let me just move that off to the side.’

Jorja/Indigo: Pulls out his gun from his pocket. 

Olive/Daryl: ‘You’re under arrest!’ “Look mate, I’m not-” I take the leaf and I hold it out to you. “I’m not going to tell you that you can’t do this. I mean, Pookie’s asked me to hold onto this leaf. It’s her leaf. Idf she wants you to have it then it’s all you, but I’ll have no part in it, alright?”

Steven/Andres: “Of course. Yes.”

Olive/Daryl: “And if it comes back on us, and they find you out, I can't guarantee that I’ll back you up on this, alright.”

Steven/Andres: “That is fair, and I respect that.”

Olive/Daryl: “But here you go.”

Steven/Andres: “Thanks Dad- Daryl. Thanks Daryl.”

Olive/Daryl: “No worries son. You’re all good.”

Steven/Andres: Oh, and then I guess to Daryl I will say, “Look, I’m going to need a hot minute to get this to work, so if you wouldn’t mind distracting him by talking about his magical objects, yeah?”

Olive/Daryl: “I can do that for you, mate.”

Steven/Andres: “Thanks.”

Olive/Daryl: “I can chat up a good yarn.” I’ll turn back, and have you decided what you’re getting yet, Indigo?

Jorja/Indigo: Yep.

Olive/Daryl: I imagine that you’re having a chat with them, and I’ll walk on up and insert myself directly into the conversation. “So, what’s happening over here guys? Indigo, you’ve decided what you want now, hey? I mean, there's so many different choices. How can you make just one choice? It’s crazy. Would you mind running us through again one more time what these items do for me, please?”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “I mean, yeah. Indigo, you’ve decided on which one? I can tell you all about it.”

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to Insight check Dayrl first.

Steven/Andres: Oh, balls!

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Eighteen.

Olive/Daryl: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s a natural one, whatever that was. 

Steven/Andres: *laughter*

Jorja/Indigo: And then I’m going to look back - lean back - and look at Andres.

Steven/Andres: I’m going to put my thumb up.

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, I was looking at these boots, Daryl.

Steven/Andres: I mean, I guess you’d see me with the leaf, and then be chanting something into the leaf.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah. I’m going to be like, “Yeah, I want these boots,” and slowly turn so that we’ve got our backs.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Like facing away?

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Sorry, the Boots of the False Tracks, or the Boots of the Winterlands?”

Jorja/Indigo: “The Winterlands.”

Olive/Daryl: “Those are some impressive boots. The design on those is fantastic.”

Jorja/Indigo: “They really fit my outfit.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’d like to picture that they’re ugg boots.

Steven/Andres: I mean, I’m not going to lie, that’s what I pictured.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, that’s where my mind went as well. Yeah.

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Yes, they give resistance to the cold, so that you’re not going to feel the cold as much. You can go outside in negative forty-five degree weather, and you’re not going to feel it.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yes. See, I think that they’d be really considering all of the ice spells that we just encountered.”

Olive/Daryl: “That’s very true. Considering that we’re going to be going after a Winter Court, I think that that’s the best decision that’s been made so far today.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah. Have we told you about all the spells they were doing?”

Olive/Daryl: “The spells were crazy. Imean, the magic was just off the chain, as they youngsters say.”

Jorja/Indigo: “It was in a hallway,” and I’m going to start describing.

Olive/Daryl: “And then there was a wall that I had to put my fist through.”

Jorja/Indigo: “And then foot through!”

Olive/Daryl: “And then I got my whole body through it, and I come through the other side and there’s magic going on.”

Jorja/Indigo: “There’s ice up and down the hallways.”

[laughter]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Andres.

Steven/Andres: Yeah?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Could you please describe what’s happening with the leaf with mystery spell.

Steven/Andres: So, this mystery spell is Distort Value, which is a level one illusion spell. I’m casting it at second level, so I can do anything in a two foot square. This leaf is tiny, but just letting you know that I could do it.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes.

Steven/Andres: I basically am creating an illusion on this leaf to say that is much more expensive than it actually is. I’m going to increase the perceived value of this leaf. So, the leaf itself, which was a regular leaf. Was it pink because it came from the tree?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes. Yes, it came from the Kingsgrove. 

Steven/Andres: So, the outside of the leaf is going to be detailed in gold - gold trimming - and each of the veins on the back of the leaf are going to be gold as it runs along the pink leaf. Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Moving back to the other two. I’m in the middle of a conversation at the moment apparently. 

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Yes, we are planning a debrief soon. We can all talk about it together then. That sounds like very interesting stuff I really want to know about.”

Rosie/Pookie: “There was also a king, and I went into the king’s bedroom, and we had a good conversation there, and the king told me that I could go over for tea with scones. How lovely.”

Olive/Daryl: “What?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Did I not tell you?”

Olive/Daryl: “No. What do you mean?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, yes. I got invited to tea with the king.”

Olive/Daryl: “What do you mean you talked to the king?!”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, I mean I didn’t. I don’t know… I did.”

Olive/Daryl: “You spoke with the king!?”

Jorja/Indigo: “I did.”

Olive/Daryl: “I mean, I know that you did. You went back to the…”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, I got invited back too.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, that’s fine, but when did that happen?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I mean, I was going to keep a low profile, and then I thought, ‘Fuck it, why not?’”

Olive/Daryl: “You know what? That’s fair enough.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Andres got invited back too. Did you not get invited back?”

Olive/Daryl: “No, I didn’t get invited back. I made a friend with one of the guards though. Nice gentlemen. I also knew one of the other guards out front. Maybe I could… I probably wouldn’t be turned away if I went back, maybe”

Rosie/Pookie: “I mean, a guard isn’t exactly a king though.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’m curious what you’re going to do with the spellbook at some point as well.

Olive/Daryl: So true. It’ll have something in it. We’ll get there.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fair.

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Pookie, besides this king business - we’ll talk about that at the debrief - did you pick something that you’d like?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh yes. I think it would be quite nice to breathe fire like that dragon that we saw, so I think I’ll go with the Potion of Fire Breath.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “What an excellent decision. It is single use, so if you scull it, that’s it.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh yes, then I shall need someone else to carry it for me please.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yes.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Sure, so this one comes from a fire dragon, I think. So, it is going to give you fire breath.”

Olive/Daryl: “It might be a little naive of me to ask, but is there a different type of dragon.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Well, you see, different texts describe different dragons. Ones that could breathe ice. Ones that could breathe poison. Ones that could breathe acid.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Also, that wasn’t a real, original dragon. That was one of the fairies.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh yeah, true. It was…”

Jorja/Indigo: You don’t know that yet.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, I know.

Jorja/Indigo: You don’t know.

Olive/Daryl: I know. Daryl knows.

Jorja/Indigo: Daryl does not know.

Olive/Daryl: Daryl knows.

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Andres, did you decide on something yet?

Steven/Andres: “Look, it’s been a really tough choice I’ll admit, but you did mention earlier an exchange. If we bring you magical items we may be able to procure additional items from the selection that you’ve got.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “It keeps the balance. You’re also welcome just to donate as well. I can take it off the hands.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, yeah cool. I’m more interested in swapping actually though. So, what I’ve got here - I found it while we were snooping around - this is a very magical leaf.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “This is not the leaf you guys were talking about before?”

Steven/Andres: “No, no, no. This is a different leaf. See? It’s different. This one’s gold.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Deception. That’s the beginning.

Steven/Andres: Fuck. But the leaf should… Anyway, I’m going to mutter under my breath, Guidance.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Thirteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Twenty-three.

Steven/Andres: Jesus Christ. Okay, well I was never going to beat that. 

Tyrone/Minotaur: “This is the same leaf.”

Steven/Andres: “Is it?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, well we didn’t want to tell you earlier how magical it was because I was quite scared to get rid of it because I am very, very attached to this leaf, and I thought that you’d steal it from us if I told you how magical it was.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, Pookie has been a bit attached to it.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Well, if you want to exchange it, I can take a look to ascertain its properties, and we can get an exchange happening.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Wait no, I need to sniff it goodbye first.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, of course, Pookie. There you go.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Thank you,” and I take one big whiff of it with genuine tears welling up in my little cat eyes.

Tyrone/Minotaur: “This is very emotional. Are you sure you want to part with it?”

Rosie/Pookie: “If it’s for the best then I think we should. If it’s best for the team.”

Steven/Andres: “And I think that it is for the best because I reckon that these items would be pretty useful for us to continue the great work that we’re all doing.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’s going to put it on the workbench. He’s going to hold his hands over it, and you can see this golden light come over it, and he’s going to cast the spell Identify, which is a minute of him chanting.

Steven/Andres: Yep. I guess throughout that minute, I’m going to be putting up Minor Illusions of sparks and pretty flowers and little things that are going to be jolting out of it, and maybe halfway through - because it’s a minute?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes.

Steven/Andres: So, maybe halfway through I’m going to stop so that there’s no more sparks. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

Steven/Andres: And then i’m going to put my hand on his shoulder and go, “Oh mate, I think that you’ve just drained all the magic out of it because I can feel magic too, and there’s nothing coming off of that.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Just give me a minute, okay? I need to finish the spell.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, sure.”

Rosie/Pookie: “If you have ruined that leaf, by god, I’ll be coming for you.” The funny thing is that Pookie thinks that it really is magic and didn’t notice that it looked completely different now.

Steven/Andres: True, I did tell you that. Whoops.

Rosie/Pookie: So, I fully believe that it’s magic. 

Steven/Andres: I’m also going to Minor Illusion over the top of the leaf to show that the gold is gone, so that it looks like it’s back to the same leaf that Pookie remembers.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Olive/Daryl: Magic on magic on magic on magic. So many layers.

Steven/Andres: Why not?

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to Minor Illusion a crown on Pookie’s head.

Steven/Andres: Slay.

Rosie/Pookie: Amazing!

Jorja/Indigo: I’m just killing time.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m a queen.

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Andres.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah?”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “I think you might have been fooled about the magical properties of this leaf.”

Steven/Andres: “No, shit! What do you mean?”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “I’m detecting magic that has made it appear magic, so it’s had a magic spell on it that’s made it look magic.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh man!”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “But it’s in fact not magic.”

Steven/Andres: “That’s the worst news I’ve had today.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Actually, that’s brilliant. We get to keep the leaf.”

Jorja/Indigo: “You need to get what spell he has because yours is just, ‘Is it magic?’ not ‘What magic?’”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, that sounds pretty useful if I was a wizard!”

Jorja/Indigo: “Just saying.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Unfortunately you have not fooled this man into swapping the leaf, as great as your plan was.

Steven/Andres: Can he at least roll an Investigation against the leaf to see if it looks really pretty?

*dice rolls*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A natural one. 

Steven/Andres: So, he knows that it’s worth a lot of money.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It is worth a lot of money; however, it is not magical. He’s like, ‘This leaf could sell for a lot-’

Steven/Andres: ‘But I don’t want it!’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, ‘I don’t want it!’

Olive/Daryl: ‘I don’t want to have to port it. How am I going to sell a leaf?’ “Real question for the group though: do we really want to keep this key? I mean, you mentioned that it only has a five percent chance to woking and then it’s done. Do we really want it? I mean, what are the chances that it’s actually going to work?”

Steven/Andres: “Do any of you have a lockpick or anything that we might be able to use?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, have you got thieves’ tools?”

Steven/Andres: “Because then we’d be happy to part with the key.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I don’t know if we should part with the key.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Jonika back there, that’s her expertise. Give her a whirl at it.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, righto.” I’m going to take the leaf with me.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, sure.

Steven/Andres: “I’ll go see Jonika.”

Jorja/Indigo: Slyly to Andres, I’m going to say, “Don’t let her lockpick first. See if she has one that we can borrow, and then we’ll see her because we don’t know what’s inside this book.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh yeah.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Because we might want to see it first.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh yeah, I was going to ask for the lockpick, not the-”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay, perfect, perfect. Just checking.”

Rosie/Pookie: I’m going to sneakily join in. “Instead of asking for a lockpick thingy, why don’t we just steal it?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Because she might just give it to us, and then we don’t piss anyone off.”

Rosie/Pookie: “What if she doesn’t? Then she’ll be suspicious that we stole it.”

Steven/Andres: “Pookie, I will deceive, I will murder, but I will never steal.”

Rosie/Pookie: “You’ll never steal?”

Steven/Andres: “Nope.”

Rosie/Pookie: “You’ve never stolen?”

Steven/Andres: “Nope.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I’ll keep an eye on you.”

Olive/Daryl: “Why don’t we just try  the key on the book again. If it doesn’t work then we can swap it for another item after we’ve gotten some lockpicks to try and open it, alright?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Don’t give up the key because the fairies are looking for it, so it is important in some regard to them.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Did you want one of the items first? You haven’t picked?”

Steven/Andres: “Oh yeah. Look, I’m a sucker for a good rod.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Aren’t we all.”

Steven/Andres: “I learned something about you today. Yeah, I’d like that rod there.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “The Immovable Rod?”

Steven/Andres: “That’s the one.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “So yes, you see the button here? You press that.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’s holding it mid-air.

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Press that button.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He lets go, and it floats.

Tyrone/Minotaur: “See? You press it again.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It clatters to the ground.

Steven/Andres: “Makes sense. It says what it does on the package.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Immovable. Correct.”

Olive/Daryl: “Don’t be messing with that when you’re in my car.”

Steven/Andres: “Of course not, Daryl.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “No exchanges you need to…?”

Steven/Andres: “Well no, apparently this leaf was bogus.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Sorry.”

Steven/Andres: “No, no, it’s good that you checked. You’re very thorough. *under breath* You cunt.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Just artefacts, or do you want potions?”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “We can swap potions.”

Steven/Andres: Sure, you’re going to swap potions.

Jorja/Indigo: “I have this blue one.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “This blue one? Let me take a look.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’s going to cast his Identify on it.

[low resonance]

Tyrone/Minotaur: “This is magical, yes. Where did you happen upon this one?”

Jorja/Indigo: “They were just giving them out for free.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “For- For free!? I needed to get it. Remind me to come next time.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Olive/Daryl: “I probably wouldn’t recommend.”

Jorja/Indigo: “As long as no manticores come out, you’ll be fine.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “I’ll risk it. This is Potion of Water Breathing. If you drink it you can breathe underwater for a whole hour.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I probably won’t need it.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Okay, what would you like to exchange it for?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Your Deep Heat, whatever it is? The ointment.”

Olive/Daryl: ‘I’d like that tub of Deep Heat thanks.’

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Keoghtom's Ointment?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yep.”

Steven/Andres: Sorry, that Identify spell takes a whole minute, right?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes.

Steven/Andres: Yeah, I’ve already left the room, and I’m looking for Jonika.

Olive/Daryl: I’ll go with you. Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Love.

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Keoghtom’s Ointment. That’s an excellent choice. You’ll be able to recover some health, and it’ll cure you of almost any disease.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yep.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “I can hear some other clinking in there. There’s no others that you want to swap?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Probably not swap, but can you tell me what they are?”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “I have one more- Oh no, two more spell slots left.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I’ve got this red one and this black one. The red one, I think, is just healing.”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “I’m sorry, I lied about the water breathing. It’s twenty-four hours, not one hour.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Ah, I still don’t want it.”

[low resonance]

Tyrone/Minotaur: “Ah, this one appears to be a Potion of Greater Healing, so it can heal you for a lot.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Nice, what about this black one?”

Tyrone/Minotaur: “It appears to be a Potion of Pugilism, so your punches will hit with extra force for ten minutes.”

Jorja/Indigo: Woah, an extra d6. Do you want it?

Olive/Daryl: That would be pretty handy, yeah. As soon as I heard extra punching I was like, ‘Huh? Me!? Huh?’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Olive/Daryl: “I reckon that I’ve got a pretty good Popeye impression.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I don’t want to hear it. Here's your potion,” and I leave.

Olive/Daryl: “Thank you very much.”

[relaxing synth music]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You enter back into the main space of the speakeasy, and there are the four new guys and Jonika sitting there, all having cartons of milk and sipping.

Tyrone/Jonika: “Oh hey, we finished our tour. You guys are done in there?”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah. Do you guys just drink milk all the time?”

Tyrone/Greggory: “It’s free milk, mate.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, righto. You got me there. Can we talk to you over here for a minute?”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys keep drinking your milk. I’ll come over.”

Steven/Andres: “We spoke to your colleague whose name eludes me at the moment.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Misfit.”

Steven/Andres: “What?”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Misfit.”

Steven/Andres: “The centaur?”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Minotaur.

Tyrone/Jonika: “Misfit. That’s his last name. He goes by Misfit.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, right. Well, we were just talking to Misfit, and he mentioned that you might have lockpicking tools potentially that we might be able to borrow.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Yeah, I don’t know if I can just give them away.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, we just need them for like five minutes.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Can you use them in front of me?”

Steven/Andres: “That would be a bit weird.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Why?”

Steven/Andres: I’m going to deceive and say… What are we unlocking?

Olive/Daryl: “We have something that unfortunately has been locked up.”

Steven/Andres: Sorry, I forgot that you were with me.

Olive/Daryl: “I made a blunder, and I accidentally locked it, and we lost the key, and we can’t unlock it, and it’s a bit private, so we’d appreciate the assistance, and we’ll return them to you as soon as possible, alright? It won’t be any more than five or ten minutes at most.”

Steven/Andres: “Will that be alright? Look, I can give you my license, and you can hold onto that.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Yeah, alright. Oh, yeah.”

Steven/Andres: “There’s nothing magical about it. Oh, that was taken before The Shift.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Yeah. You have to go get a new one. You don’t know that?”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, shit. I don’t have a car, so I mean, what do I have use for a license anyway?”

Tyrone/Jonika: “You don’t buy drinks?”

Steven/Andres: “I don’t get carded. Have you seen this face? I don’t get carded.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Yeah, carding is a bit weird now, isn’t it?”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, mate, they don’t. I mean, I haven’t had to worry about carding for forty years.”

Steven/Andres: “What are you talking about? You don’t look a day over twenty-one, mate.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, Andres.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure, you’re going to go into the corner and roll a Sleight of Hand?

Steven/Andres: Yeah! I can do that.

Olive/Daryl: “Come on mate. I believe in you.”

Steven/Andres: I’m going to cast Guidance on myself.

Olive/Daryl: Hell yeah.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Four… That’s a fourteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A fourteen will not open this lock.

Steven/Andres: “Fuck! Come on Daryl, why don’t you give it a crack?” and I’m going to pat my hand on his back and give him Guidance.

Olive/Daryl: “Oh mate, I mean I’m not too used to… I mean, I could give it a red, hot go, but let’s give it a red, hot go. LEt’s see if luck’s on my side today.”

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: Balls. Thirteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Thirteen?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah mate.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That will not open the lock.

Olive/Daryl: Fuck.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I assume that you guys are coming out of the room soon?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah? You walk out and see them trying to open this lock.

Steven/Andres: “Now Daryl, no. Turn it that way. No, fuck.”

Olive/Daryl: “Now, let me do my thing here, alright? Andres, I saw you. I’m just trying to copy what you did.”

Steven/Andres: “No, you’re not going to get it, mate.”

Olive/Daryl: “Have a little bit of faith in me. For goodness sake, please.”

Steven/Andres: “Indigo, you look nimble with your hands.”

Olive/Daryl: Daryl will smack Andres on the shoulder and turn to Indigo and be like, “Indigo, would you please take over this because I can’t be here anymore.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, what he said.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I’ll try.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Before you leave, who has the leaf?”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, I have the leaf.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Is it safe?”

Steven/Andres: “Yep, I’ve got it here.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Okay, thanks.”

Steven/Andres: “Did you want it?”

Rosie/Pookie: “No, no, no. You hold onto it.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, sure.”

Rosie/Pookie: “But if I ever want to see it, just…”

Steven/Andres: “Sure.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Thanks.”

Olive/Daryl: “Congratulations leaf-bearer.”

Steven/Andres: “Shit.” I will cast Guidance.

Jorja/Indigo: Thank you.

Olive/Daryl: As soon as you offered to take the leaf from me I was like, ‘Oh, thank god.’

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Oh jeez, that’s better.

Jorja/Indigo: Twenty-four total. 

Rosie/Pookie + Olive/Daryl: Woo!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The lock opens.

Jorja/Indigo: Yippee!

Steven/Andres: Yay! We did it.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This big, thick, purple tome is unlocked.

Jorja/Indigo: Nice.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Are you going to have a look through?

Jorja/Indigo: Yep, immediately. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It appears to be names of all different types of spells alphabetised.

Jorja/Indigo: Nice.

Steven/Andres: What kind of spells are in there?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Picking some at random: Identify; Misty Step; Fireball; Hold Monster; Sunbeam; Power Word Kill; Control Weather; Draconic Transformation; Counterspell.

Steven/Andres: “Oh, well that could be anyone’s book.”

Olive/Daryl: “Couldn’t tell you whose book this is.”

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, can I look in the back? Does it say ‘Property of Thaumus’?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure. Yes, it does.

Steven/Andres: Nice.

Jorja/Indigo: “Well, it’s a spell book.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, it’s Thaumus’s book!”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yep.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, shit.”

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to look up the one that makes her turn into a dragon.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep, you’re flicking through them like, ’This one? No. This one? No.’ There is Shape Change.

Jorja/Indigo: Ah, yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There is also one called Draconic Transformation, which is the one that she used to give herself wings to fly you away.

Jorja/Indigo: Oh, yep, yep.

Steven/Andres: Cute. Hot girl shit.

Jorja/Indigo: Cool. I’ll be like, “She used this one and then this one.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, and then I saw her use that one. She demonstrated that one in class.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I will send you guys the full list. You don’t know cantrips though because cantrips are not needed in the spellbook, right?

Steven/Andres: No, it’s just all the ones you need to prepare. I mean, none of us are wizards, so knowing the actual spells-

Jorja/Indigo: Yet.

Steven/Andres: True.

Tyrone/Jonika: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, we were thinking tomorrow we might meet up and have a debrief and chill out, but we’ll let you guys chill out for the rest of the day because there was a lot of shit going on. Do you guys want to hang out tomorrow?”

Olive/Daryl: “I mean, we could. Yeah.”

Steven/Andres: What day of the week is it?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Saturday.

Steven/Andres: So, it’d be Sunday. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m free.”

Olive/Daryl: “I mean, I have to be done by the mid-afternoon tomorrow, but I’d be happy to hang around in the morning.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “We’ve got a barbecue to attend.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes indeed.”

Steven/Andres: “What’s the barbecue?”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, well I have a barbecue at my house every Sunday, and Thorne just wondered if he could come along, so I threw in an invitation. You would all be invited too if you wanted to come around and meet the family.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, righto. No worries, Daryl. I’ll be there.”

Olive/Daryl: “It’s entirely up to you. No pressure. I understand if you have your own responsibilities to attend to on a Sunday evening before the week, and I know that you’re still studying and doing your work and…”

Rosie/Pookie: “Hello.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yep.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Love.

Tyrone/Thorne: “Anything you guys want to chat about now before you go? Nice. You guys can get to know each other a bit more tomorrow. We’ll chat about our next steps.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Steps? In which direction?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “The future.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Of course.”

Olive/Daryl: “North. North-westish.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Only north-west? No other direction ever?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yep. Oh! That is the other thing that I do need to fill you in on. Sorry, I had completely forgotten. My bad. We went over this earlier, and it’s been on my mind. I’ve been in my own space. Pookie was there, but I didn’t think you even really were.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh yes, that. No, I was… I shan’t say.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah. No, Pookie. Not that. A different thing that you weren't for.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I’m beginning to lose a lot of interest.”

Olive/Daryl: “Well, I’m terribly sorry young lady. Would you like to go home then, and I can tell you tomorrow?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Ideally, yeah.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright then.”

Steven/Andres: “I mean, yeah.”

Jorja/Indigo: “If we’re going to chat tomorrow.”

Rosie/Pookie: *whispering* “I found a knife.”

Jorja/Indigo: “See? That’s how you get me.”

Rosie/Pookie: *whispering* “I found a knife in their bedside table, and Dayrl made me put it back.”

Olive/Daryl: Can we be heading out of the establishment at this point?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

Tyrone/Thorne: “Yeah, we’ll see you tomorrow.”

Olive/Daryl: “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Bye!” I didn't give those thieves’ tools back.

Steven/Andres: No, no, no. I need to give them back. “Oh shit!”

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll be like, “Whose are these?”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, no, yeah. Let me take those back.”

Rosie/Pookie: “No, no, no, keep them. Keep them.”

Steven/Andres: “Don’t be ridiculous Pookie.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Oh yeah, I almost forgot too. Thanks.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, no worries. Here you go. Thanks for letting us borrow those.

Tyrone/Jonika: “Yeah, no worries.”

Steven/Andres: “A bit embarrassing for Daryl.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, are we heading home?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, absolutely. “But the notes- I found a couple of notes when we were going through - when I was sneaking around the king’s quarters and up and around that space - and I happened to come across a few documents that were basically explaining the interest in the parties that were attempting to infiltrate Lambence. A lot of them have been speculated to be elves. Confirmed as fairies, rather. Not elves. My bad. My mistake. Coming from a north-westerly direction. With today’s events, it would seem that… Our conclusion so far is that The Winter Court has been here for quite some time, and they’re not happy that Lambence has returned.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, well their first King Oberon was here four thousand and something years ago, so they’ve been here since then or longer.”

Steven/Andres: “That was the current king’s grandfather.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, his peepaw.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, work that one out Daryl.”

Olive/Daryl: “Wait, four thousand years…”

Steven/Andres: “I mean, I did the calculation, and I think that he’s about… Pretty fucking old.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Probably like a thousand years old or more.”

Olive/Daryl: “Interesting, but that’s all that I got so far. So, I think that it’s worth discussing tomorrow and potentially looking into some pathways to looking up north to see if we can get some more info.”

Rosie/Pookie: “And back to the knife. I think that we can’t quite trust these people because they were saying something about getting rid of the magic and making it back the way it was, which would mean that…”

Steven/Andres: “Getting rid of magic!?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes. So, I think that we should withhold information from them personally, which is why I was taking their knife, so that we would have the knife and they wouldn’t have the knife.”

Steven/Andres: “That was really quick thinking, Pookie.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Thank you.”

Steven/Andres: “Magic? What?”

Olive/Daryl: “So, here’s the thing, right? They believe that with Lambence having come around, that the magic came with them, and that there’s all this shift and transformation and everything that you guys can do, is because of that.”

Steven/Andres: “I mean, that lines up pretty much exactly.”

Olive/Daryl: “I mean, which is understandable. Because he has a knife in his home, it could be used for self-defence. There’s no reason as to why we shouldn’t trust him. I genuinely sense that he is just afraid of what this magic means. He doesn't understand what it is. He’s looking for it to get a better idea of what it is. His mind is currently set on getting rid of it because it scares him, so I told Pookie to put the knife back - it wasn’t our property - but that we will most definitely keep an eye on these people to determine what their goal is because getting rid of the magic: not necessarily something that I want to do either.”

Steven/Andres: “So, what you’re suggesting is that we’ve got this group of four, and we’re a part of their group? We’re a group within their group?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah.”

Steven/Andres: “Between us four?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, we’re a division of the greater group.”

Steven/Andres: “Alright. Yeah, alright.”

Jorja/Indigo: So, Indigo knows that The Summer Court was banished and that The Winter Court was here before.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes.

Steven/Andres: But Andres knows through history that The Winter Court, or the - what did we call them? The Unseelie Court?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master + Jorja/Indigo: Yep. 

Steven/Andres: Were often depicted as evil.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes.

Jorja/Indigo: “I mean, they just returned home, but everyone is saying that they brought the magic with them?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes.”

Jorja/Indigo: “But, wouldn’t the magic have already been here before and just dormant or used to veil it.”

Olive/Daryl: “Bingo. That’s the question, isn’t it? Where did the magic come from? Was it from Lambence returning and triggering something? Was it laying dormant, or was it maybe something that the Unseelie Court has decided to release as Lambence returned to try to push them out again.”

Jorja/Indigo: “But they would have always had magic.”

Olive/Daryl: “Exactly.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Steven/Andres: “Damn, you’re a bloody good detective there, Dayrl.”

Olive/Daryl: “I was a detective there for a little while, but I had to drop it for the kids, but it was always something that i had my eyes set on getting back into, but I lost the heart for it.”

Steven/Andres: “Indigo, have you ever thought about getting into detective work because you’re pretty good at it too.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Nope.”

Steven/Andres: “Fair enough.”

Olive/Daryl: “What do you want to do in the future, Indigo?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Go home.”

Olive/Daryl: “So, you didn’t want to hang out with us a little while longer? Did you want to go home in the future?”

Jorja/Indigo: ‘Come pick me up mum, I’m scared.’

Steven/Andres: ‘Mum, they’ve got drugs.’

Jorja/Indigo: ‘Mum, they’re smoking.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’s waiting for you to unlock the car so that she can get her drumsticks and go home

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah. I’m trying to lockpick with two twigs that I found.

Olive/Daryl: “Hey, hey! It’s alright. Here, I’ll drive you all home. Let’s go.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Actually, I would rather stay here. I usually sleep here.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, well if you’re more comfortable with that, absolutely.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Well, otherwise I’d have to walk all the way back.”

Olive/Daryl: “Sure. No, I mean, I could pick you up, but I mean…”

Rosie/Pookie: “Will you be going past here?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes, we’ll come back here tomorrow.”

Rosie/Pookie: “No, I mean on your way to drop everyone off?”

Olive/Daryl: “No, we’re already here now. Why would I drive back here.”

Rosie/Pookie: “That is precisely my point.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Pookie lives here.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, well then I’m not going to drive you anywhere because you live here. I’ve already dropped you off.”

Rosie/Pookie: “That was point!”

Jorja/Indigo: “Maybe you’re not a good detective.”

Olive/Daryl: “Not anymore.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Well, ta-ta then.”

Olive/Daryl: “Very well.”

Jorja/Indigo: Indigo’s not going to get in the car. “That’s fine, I’ll get the bus.”

Olive/Daryl: “Indigo.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Bye,” and I start walking.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I assume you get your drumsticks?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, I grab the drumsticks, but I’m going to walk behind Pookie and talk to Pookie really quick.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. Andres is getting a lift?

Steven/Andres: Yeah.

Olive/Daryl: I’ll get in the car and close the doors-

Steven/Andres: Oh! Please tell me that I got my licence back.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You didn’t ask for it back. You’ve forgotten. You have to wait until tomorrow.

Steven/Andres: No, I’m going to run back in. We’re still here.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure. You run back in.

Tyrone/Jonika: “Oh! Oh shit, I am still holding it, aren’t I?”

Steven/Andres: “You silly billy.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “I’m sorry. I could have given it to you tomorrow.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, but I’m here now.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Okay, bye.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I will say when you run back in, people have taken off their cloaks off. You will notice that the humanoid man, Jack, has fairy wings. He is a fairy.

Steven/Andres: “Hey guys, Jack’s got wings.”

Olive/Daryl: ”He’s what?”

Steven/Andres: “Jack.”

Olive/Daryl: “He’s…?”

Steven/Andres: “Got wings.”

Olive/Daryl: “Got wings? What kind of wings?”

Steven/Andres: “He’s a fairy. He’s got fairy wings.”

Olive/Daryl: “Well, there you go.”

Steven/Andres: “Shit, maybe I should be a detective.”

Olive/Daryl: “You’d make a good det- A good…”

Steven/Andres: “I don’t reckon that I would.”

Olive/Daryl: “You’d make a good partner. You have an outside of the box perspective. I reckon that we’d work well together.”

Steven/Andres: “Thanks for that, Daryl.”

Olive/Daryl: “I reckon we do work well together, Andres.”

Steven/Andres: “I agree.”

Olive/Daryl: “Now, I’ve got a question to posit to you.”

Steven/Andres: “Sure.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I assume you guys are driving?

Olive/Daryl: Yep.

Olive/Daryl: “Indigo.”

Steven/Andres: “Yep?”

Olive/Daryl: “What do you make of her?”

Steven/Andres: “Well, I mean, I made a comment about her fingers and said that I probably shouldn’t. Other than that, I don’t know. I think she seems alright. She’s got a very intimate knowledge of the Maccas menu, though. That’s weird.”

Olive/Daryl: “I don’t know. I mean, I understand kids nowadays. They’re a little more reserved and stand-offish, but I don’t know. There’s something else going on there.”

Steven/Andres: “I mean, before when I was doing a magic reading - which is a thing that I can do apparently - I felt magic coming from each of us, but then I felt it coming from her pockets, but I think that was just the potions that she pulled out.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh yeah.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, so if it is anything, it’s not magical.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, fair enough. What do you mean from each of us?”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, like your vest.” What is it?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The sweater-vest. Yeah.

Olive/Daryl: “The vest?”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, the vest you’re wearing.”

Olive/Daryl: “Ha! It’s not magical, mate.”

Steven/Andres: “Well, apparently it is.”

Olive/Daryl: “No, it’s not magical.”

Steven/Andres: “Well, apparently it is.”

Olive/Daryl: “No, it’s not. Shut the fuck up!”

Steven/Andres: “Well, apparently it is.” Sure, I’ll roll an Insight.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Is it Deception or is it a genuine, ‘I don’t know’?

Steven/Andres: Yeah, I thought it was genuine. Deception! I’ve been deceived.

Olive/Daryl: Probably more an Intimidation.

Steven/Andres: Jesus Christ. You're going to intimidate me? Yeah, righto.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: If you want to intimidate him, but that would mean he still knows you’re lying. Do you want to intimidate him?

Olive/Daryl: I want to intimidate him.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

Steven/Andres: Intimidate me? What roll is that?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I usually do a Charisma save.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Nat twenty! Oh…

Jorja/Indigo: Oh, half.

Steven/Andres: Half of twenty.

Olive/Daryl: Half of twenty?

Steven/Andres: I got half of twenty.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, no. On the last one, I almost slam on the brakes, and I turn to you, “No, it’s not! Shut the fuck up!” and then I’ll silently drive off-

Steven/Andres: Wait, so it was Intimidation?

Olive/Daryl: Yes.

Steven/Andres: Well, I guess under my breath: “Well, it is.” 

[laughter]

Steven/Andres: You’re not deceiving me.

Olive/Daryl: No. Yeah.

Jorja/Indigo: So, you are aware, but you’re like, ‘I’m going to shut up about it.’

Steven/Andres: I’m aware. Yeah, yeah, yeah Exactly, but also I’m me.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah. I hear it and a half, little smirk come up like, ‘You cheeky shit.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, you drive the rest of the way home in silence?

Jorja/Indigo: No, Nickelback is playing.

Olive/Daryl: Unless we-

Steven/Andres: God- No. Silence. 

Olive/Daryl: Silence.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do you put Nickelback on? Nothing? Damn.

Steven/Andres: Andres will do nothing.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Steven/Andres: If there is no music playing then there is no music playing. Unless Daryl puts something on. Dad just told me off, so I’m…

Olive/Daryl: Slightly uncomfortable drive.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I hate that.

Olive/Daryl: As we do pull up and stop. “Have a safe night.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You can hear house music coming from inside.

Steven/Andres: Oh yeah, I have a party tonight.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You have a party tonight.

Steven/Andres: Fuck. I’m going to, “Yeah, alright. See you,” and you see as I step out of the car that my outfit will change into party clothes instantly.

Olive/Daryl: “Have fun, Andres. Have fun.”

Steven/Andres: Head down to the doorway. I’m scared.

Olive/Daryl: “Ah shit! Goddamn it!”

[car engine fades off and light-hearted piano plays]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Indigo and Pookie.

Rosie/Pookie: Hello.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What are you guys talking about?

Jorja/Indigo: “Hey, Pookie.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Where do you go? Where do you sleep?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Well, sometimes I’ll curl up beside a vent outside where an air conditioner is inside and it blows the hot air outside. There’s an alley that’s quite cosy, but sometimes the convenience store will let me sleep beneath the bench there when the boy is on. It’s quite lovely, and I’ll talk to Terrance at night too.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Terrance? Oh, I’ve met Terrance.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, Terrance. My good, dear friend, who… He’s my contact.”

Jorja/Indigo: “If you ever want to stay in a house, you can always come back with me if you want.”

Rosie/Pookie: “You have a house?”

Jorja/Indigo: “My mum does.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Do you think that I could sneak in?”

Jorja/Indigo: “We could just walk in.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Really?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yep, that’s what I do every night.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Could I?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Only if you want because I don’t want to mess up what you’ve got going on.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Well, I mean, I only spoke to Terrance recently, so I don’t actually have contact for another two nights, so I mean, if you wouldn’t mind I could curl up on the foot of your bed, and then I could knead little biscuits in your pillow.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yeah? Yay.”

Jorja/Indigo: We’re going to go home, and then I’m going to go through the door holding her.

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “Hi- Hello?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Hi, I found a cat.”

Rosie/Pookie: “ *meows* “

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “Isn’t he just-”

Jorja/Indigo: “She.”

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “Isn’t she just the cutest little thing? What is their name?”

Jorja/Indigo: “This is Pookie.”

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “Pookie. Hello.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’ll go to pat you.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m going to suck up to the mum so much. I’m purring. I’m doing little smiles.

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “She’s got a collar and everything already. Did you adopt them?”

Jorja/Indigo: “No. Pookie is looking for their family but don’t have a place to stay at the moment, so I’m going to help Pookie out, and she’ll sleep on my bed, and we’ll continue to look for her family.”

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “Okay, is that one of your little magic power things now is that you can talk to animals?”

Jorja/Indigo: “This one, yes.”

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “Okay. You guys have fun in there. We’ve got some dinner in the fridge, so you can heat it up whenever.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay. I’ve got a bunch of milk I’ve got to put in the fridge.” I open my bag and get out all the milk.

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “Oh my goodness. Okay. Sure. I guess it’s for the cat.”

Rosie/Pookie: I’m disc-eyed, wide-eyed staring at her with the really massive pupils like, ‘Love me.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘Love me.’

Jorja/Indigo: *To the tune of Lovefool by The Cardigans* Love me, love me. 

Rosie/Pookie: This is the cosiest night Pookie has had since leaving home.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Alright, we’ll leave it there. Goodnigth everyone.

Jorja/Indigo: Na night.

Olive/Daryl: Goodbye.

Rosie/Pookie: Night!

Theme Song: [rock music plays]

Finding home in the belly of the beast, to make it home we can’t accept defeat, so roll the dice and come along with me, finding home in the belly of the beast

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Thank you so much for listening to Portal Quandary. Portal Quandary is made possible by the following people: Myself, Tyrone Cross as Dungeon Master, Editing, Community Manager, and Transcriber, Steven Edwards as Andres, Olive Jerome as Daryl, Rosemary Ochtman as Pookie, and Jorja Odd as Indigo. Elias Moffat is our Content Producer and Narrative Consultant and that theme song is Belly of the Beast by Lily Harnath and Henry Lucas. We’re on a bunch of social media, including Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Patreon. All of which are @portalquandary. Q-U-A-N-D-A-R-Y. This podcast was recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people, and produced on the lands of the Awabakal, and Wurundjeri people. Portal Quandary acknowledges and pays respect to our traditional custodians and to their past and present leaders. 

Theme Song: [rock music continues]

Finding home in the belly of the beast, (in the belly of the beast), to make it home we can’t accept defeat, (there’s no turning back) so roll the dice and come along with me, (come along with me, let’s go), finding home in the belly of the beast.

-

Jorja/Indigo: Pre-dead.

Rosie/Pookie: But we can make them dead.

Steven/Andres: Exactly, they’re pre-dead.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You fucking hate the new guys. You’re like, ‘Fuck you! Fuck you!’

Steven/Andres: Yeah, pretty much. We had to fight mimics and listen to that stupid jingle. 

Olive/Daryl: And they just went and what? Fucked around with a couple of worms (wyrms)? What’s the go?

Steven/Andres: Apparently.

Rosie/Pookie: I mean, Mildred is cool. I like Mildred.

Jorja/Indigo: He does business?

Olive/Daryl: He just deals in business? What do you even do?

Steven/Andres: ‘I do business.’